Laura Cayouette -Actor-Django Unchained

Best known as Leonardo DiCaprio’s sister in Quentin Tarantino's  Django Unchained. Laura joins Papamutes and chats about her career spanning over 25 years in TV and film. Laura explains what drove her to write Know Small Parts: An Actor’s Guide to Turning Minutes into Moments and Moments into a Career with a foreword by Richard Dreyfuss.  Sharing fascinating inside stories about what working in the entertainment business is really about for her. Laura's advice for young actors is a reality check and also very encouraging. An award-winning filmmaker who's produced a feature film with Quentin Tarantino. Kill Bill: Vol. 2, Hell Ride, Enemy of the State are just a fraction of the films talked about in this episode.  Laura crushes Dead or Alive segment and yes, she is a Pussyfooter.  What's a Pussyfooter?  Find out on Papamutes with Laura Cayouette.

photos: courtesy of laura cayouette

Transcript

Speaker 1:

You're listening to a Papamutes Unmuted podcast.

Papamutes:

Welcome to Papamutes, everybody. My guest today is Laura Cayouette. She's an actress, a writer, a model, producer, director, and author. She's appeared in movies such as Django Unchained, Enemy of the State, and Kill Bill Volume 2; TV shows such as Friends, True Detective, House of Cards, and Queen Sugar. It's an absolute pleasure. Laura, welcome to Papamutes.

Laura:

Well, hello. I'm happy to be here.

Papamutes:

So, you were born in D.C., grew up in Maryland, not far from where I am right now. How big an influence were your parents on your career, if any?

Laura:

I would have to say none, other than I will ... Okay. My father and mother are both very creative Renaissance people in their nature. They don't always get to express that or do anything with it, but in their nature, they are always that way. My mother chose to have a career where she didn't get a weekly check. My grandfather, her father, also chose a career where he did not get a weekly check. So I think that, in some ways, prepared me for the idea of not getting a weekly check.

Papamutes:

Boom. Perfect for acting, right?

Laura:

Yeah. Look, entertainment field is, nobody else in my family's in that, but my uncle is a fashion designer. He's retired now, but that's a career that not only do you not have the weekly paycheck, but it's that thing of you putting yourself out there and they're buying your ideas or they're not. So it's a reflection of you when it doesn't go well and that whole thing, the ego ride that goes with rejection and failure for daily diet of feedback. That was modeled for me by my uncle.

Papamutes:

Okay. Now your book, Know Small Parts, for people listening, it's K-N-O-W, Know Small Parts: An Actor's Guide to Turning Minutes Into Moments & Moments Into a Career. I read it.

Laura:

Oh, thank you.

Papamutes:

No, it's excellent. It's excellent. Turning Minutes Into Moments & Moments Into a Career, what do you mean by that for people who are up-and-coming actors?

Laura:

Well, where I really learned that was actually my very first acting gig. Richard Dreyfuss wrote the foreword for that book, and he had given me some very good advice that helped me get my first job. When I was doing that job, my very first movie was the sequel to Terms of Endearment. I was working with Shirley MacLaine and Juliette Lewis and a cast of thousands. I watched Shirley MacLaine. I had a bunch of scenes that got cut, but the one that's still in the movie is the one that I'm talking about, so you can still witness this for yourself.

Papamutes:

Okay.

Laura:

In that scene, she had no lines. All she had to do was sit in the studio audience and be part of a studio audience while her granddaughter, Juliette Lewis, records a television sitcom that she's acting in, so I'm the co-star. I'm Juliette Lewis' co-star and I'm playing her best friend in this TV show. There was a whole scene that's supposed to happen, and then at the very end, you cut to Shirley MacLaine in the studio audience clapping for her grandchild. That's it. That's that whole scene. So there are me, Juliette Lewis, Mary Gross, John Perry, we're all up there acting our buns off. Then the scene in the TV show ends and you go to Shirley MacLaine clapping, and I noticed that she had a story. She was making a moment and take after take after take, nobody roped her in, so she kept elaborating on the story. By the time we finished filming that scene, it was very clear to me that she had stolen the scene right out from all four of us.

Papamutes:

Wow.

Laura:

Sure enough, when you go see the movie, it's sad because it's my only scene that's left, and I am there dressed, it's Halloween and I'm dressed as the Good Witch Glenda and Juliet Lewis is an angel. I say, "Bye," and then we leave, or go to leave and oh no, it cuts before that. So Juliet says her line, and we go to Shirley, now it's like this whole opera, and still no lines. She has not given herself one line, but she's telling a way more interesting story about her pride and her joy and her love and her ... than anything that was happening on stage with us. So that's what you see in the movie. That's what I mean by taking a minute and turning it into a moment. I learned that my very first job watching one of the greatest actors, whoever has a great star screen.

Papamutes:

Of course. Great story. Now, just for a reality check for young actresses, actors, how many times approximately have you auditioned and did not get the part? Are we talking hundreds, thousands?

Laura:

Well, so the answer is almost all of them. Almost all of your auditions you don't get. No, that's just general basic math. Almost every audition you do, you don't get it, so it's like playing Powerball. It's like-

Papamutes:

You had to say that, right?

Laura:

Yeah, Well-

Papamutes:

I had to play it.

Laura:

I don't play the Lottery, but everybody's on to Powerball right now. But yeah, it's like buying tickets to the lottery. You don't buy them because they're all winners, you buy them because mathematically, you're never going to win unless you buy one. Right?

Papamutes:

Correct.

Laura:

You have a zero chance of getting the part if you don't audition. Then, if you buy, I don't know, say a thousand of them, you still have almost no chance of getting it.

Papamutes:

It's disheartening.

Laura:

So it's that kind of math. I have a chapter in my book or chapter called The Lesson of the 100 Auditions, and that is no joke. That is a true story. So it took me over 100 auditions to get my first commercial or nationwide commercial. I had done a regional before I even moved to LA. But yeah, it took me over 100 auditions. You have to start recontextualizing failure.

Papamutes:

Sure.

Laura:

You have to start rethinking strategy. You have to start thinking, "How is my ego going to survive a career of this? How am I going to stay energized when this is the norm?"

Papamutes:

Makes sense.

Laura:

I work all the time. My friends would love to have as little rejection as I have.

Papamutes:

No, this question actually is down the list, but I'm going to bring it up now. In the book you talk about, I think the statement is, 1% of actors are doing it are making a living. That's-

Laura:

Less than 1% of the actors-

Papamutes:

That's so hard to believe making a living-

Laura:

Less than 1% in the union.

Papamutes:

In the union, okay, but still-

Laura:

Less than 1% percent in the union. So that really is like, we're getting down to teeny tiny numbers.

Papamutes:

So you mean actors that are not doing anything on the side, that's all they do is act. Does that include-

Laura:

I mean people who are able to get our health insurance and people who are able to pay their bills and people for whom this is their living.

Papamutes:

Now, when people think of actors and actresses in film, are we talking about the people on Broadway also that are acting on stage?

Laura:

They have different union than we do.

Papamutes:

Okay.

Laura:

Yeah. I don't have any information on Broadway because it's a different union.

Papamutes:

Okay.

Laura:

My union covers film and television.

Papamutes:

Okay. Now, when you were going on these auditions early on, was it through an agent? How about if you don't have an agent or do you have to have an agent? How do you get auditions if you're just so fresh, no one knows you from Adam?

Laura:

Well, as you know from reading my book, I spent most of my career without an agent in LA. It wasn't until I moved to New Orleans that I was like, "Oh, I guess in the secondary market you really do need at least one agent, maybe more." But in LA, I often didn't have an agent because the nature of the beast was that I realized at some point that people kept using agents as a conversation point for why they weren't working, but it wasn't ... I don't know. I didn't want to empower the agent with why I am or am not working.

Papamutes:

Got it.

Laura:

Yeah. They get 10% of the money because they only do 10% of the work, so where's my 90%? I got to be doing the 90%. I have to do the work. Yes, and sometimes, in my case, almost all the time, it meant me getting the job and then giving the agent the money, even though they had not gotten me the job.

Papamutes:

Really?

Laura:

They still, though, would handle my paperwork. They'd handle my contracts. They would handle my scheduling, so that's 10% of the work.

Papamutes:

Understood.

Laura:

But they don't promise you a career, they're there to handle your affairs. They're there to answer phones. There are very few agents who actually do individual, proactive work. They put you in a grouping. The casting comes into them and says, "Looking for women, 50s any ethnicity." So that's me and every other woman in their agency that's anywhere over 40, and so that's what they do. They send all of the pictures of all the women over 40 to this role for woman over 50, any ethnicity, and that's what they do, so-

Papamutes:

You pick your lottery ticket and hope you get in there.

Laura:

Well, so in LA, that wasn't enough. In LA, I had to be extremely proactive, but I coach online now through the COVID, I became a Zoomer. Whenever people ask me whether they're in Michigan or London or wherever they're Zooming in from, I always say, "Let's figure out how to grow where you're planted first and build your resume, and there are so many things you can do, even if you're in the middle of nowhere."

Papamutes:

You don't have to be in LA from, again, from the readings, so a good agent like a good doctor is needed.

Laura:

Well, I need my agent here because here there's no other connective tissue between me and the industry.

Papamutes:

Right.

Laura:

When I was in LA, what I needed most was a social life. I needed an active social life that had me networking nonstop with the job creators. I didn't worry about casting directors, I never met them. I would meet directly with producers and directors, so I didn't need an agent, and I didn't need casting directors. I needed invites to parties and stuff.

Papamutes:

Right. Like you said, even at any business really, you never know who you're talking to at that moment.

Laura:

Oh, yeah. No, you had to be very careful about that. That's one you don't want to learn the hard way. That's the way that almost everybody learns it is the hard way.

Papamutes:

How big an influence is Richard Dreyfuss in your career?

Laura:

Huge, just huge. I met him in New York. He was doing a play, and I stayed afterward. I did this at about 75 plays where I would stay after and speak to the actors. I'd wait by the stage door and I'd wait for all the autograph people to leave, and then I would ask a question. I always asked the same question, and then if that started a conversation, I'd ask lots of questions. He was the last actor I met before I left to move to LA.

Papamutes:

Really?

Laura:

So that was the last stage door I waited at, and he was the last actor that I had that conversation with. He had invited me to another talk that he was giving, and he needed to postpone it and reschedule it. I said, "Oh, well then I won't be able to attend. I'm moving to LA and I won't be here next week." So we exchanged information, and about a year after I got to LA, we connected. He had given me the name of what became my first acting studio in LA, a teacher. I was by then in that school for already a year, and he had given me recommendations. So when he saw that I had followed up on them and taken his advice, he saw that I was a worthy investment and he made many more investments in me.

That was in 1992, so we are now 30 years into this friendship, and he has since written the foreward for my book. I directed him in a short film that I wrote and produced and directed, and we've worked together, I think, in three other movies. Even when I was doing Katrina relief work, he donated money for our truck, but more importantly, he came and spoke with the young people about activism and social responsibility and things like that in the midst of us figuring out the Katrina situation. So yeah, he's always been there for me, and I hope to always be there for him, and he's-

Papamutes:

You said it was '92?

Laura:

Yeah.

Papamutes:

So he's a big star, at that point, right?

Laura:

Oh, yeah. No, I'd watched him since I was a kid.

Papamutes:

Right, exactly, off the charts. So people have a public perception of actors, actresses, celebrities in general. Sounds like he's a nice guy. Am I ...

Laura:

Oh, who-

Papamutes:

... in reality?

Laura:

... knows what everybody's experience is? I don't have any idea what your experience. I would tell you that for me, he is one of the most loyal, kind, caring people I know. So I have nothing negative to say.

Papamutes:

No, no, no. Not looking for negative, I just thinking-

Laura:

No, but there are-

Papamutes:

... "That's a mega star."

Laura:

Yeah. That is a true thing, though, about being when you meet your heroes, it can be disappointing. It can be hurtful, even for women, it can be dangerous. It's not always a good situation to meet the people you most admire. But yeah, he and I have partnered on many things and been very helpful to each other. He gave me so much of what was my early wisdom about how to handle this industry and acting in general as a craft.

Papamutes:

Awesome. I'm going to fast forward to a question. Not everybody in any business, job, wherever, are nice. There's some people that are jackasses.

Laura:

I did [inaudible 00:17:17] with Harvey Weinstein, so-

Papamutes:

There you go.

Laura:

Yeah.

Papamutes:

Not even the sexual part, just like someone's just an ass, but you have to work with them. You're a young actor, you're nobody, they're somebody, and I don't need names or anything, but how does the young actor, actress stay focused on why you're there when someone's just a pompous ass?

Laura:

I would hope the same way that you do if one of the lights exploded on set, or if there was a siren going by as you're giving your big monologue, it's your job to focus. It's part of your job. If the person is doing something illegal, if they're being discriminatory or treating you differently because of your gender or your race or your religion or whatever, then now you have an app where you can at least record the incident, if not report them. You can at least record it in the app and save it for later if you choose to report them. Nowadays, depending on what set you're on, you might be able to say, "Hey, I'm having trouble with this person." I would like to think that there are some sets where that would be okay, where you could say, "I'm having trouble with this person." I'm old school. I'm used to being taken advantage of. I'm used to bad behavior. I'm used to all that stuff, and the bottom line is, do your job. Just do your job. You're not there for all that stuff. Just do your job.

Papamutes:

Understood. Now, you have written screenplays, correct?

Laura:

I have.

Papamutes:

Okay. Now, do you find writing a screenplay more challenging than acting in someone else's screenplay?

Laura:

They're totally different creatures. I thought you were going to compare it to my eight books.

Papamutes:

No. No. No.

Laura:

It's a different method of storytelling. If I'm playing the character of the mother in something you wrote, there's a chance it was based on your mother or your wife or your sister or something. There's a chance that it's personal to you, but there's 100% chance that it meant something to you or you wouldn't have written it. So you're always dealing with that you are interpreting somebody else's vision and making it your own.

Papamutes:

Okay.

Laura:

When we hear somebody play John Lennon's Imagine and they do it a different way, and we say, "Oh, they made it their own." Well, that's what actors are doing. They're taking your lyrics, your story, and they're making it their own, and so that's one method of storytelling. Then in the screenplay, you're not in charge of how the actor is going to portray it at all, and so they could change everything that you wrote in the way they deliver it. But you are in charge of story, structure, method of message delivery, whether there's a message at all, all that. It's you're creating a world.

Papamutes:

How did you get the part in Django Unchained?

Laura:

Well, now that's another one of those that it's a long-term relationship. Quentin and I met in 2000, 2001? I was 20-years-old-

Papamutes:

Quentin Tarantino-

Laura:

Yes.

Papamutes:

Just to be clear. Sure.

Laura:

Quentin Tarantino, sorry.

Papamutes:

It's okay.

Laura:

Yes. We met at a party and we again, struck up a friendship, ended up doing a bunch of stuff together that was work adjacent stuff and all that. Then we did Kill Bill, and then he's the one that told me to become a director. He lent me his camera when I directed my first short film-

Papamutes:

Really?

Laura:

Yeah. Then I did another movie that he produced called, oh gosh, with Johnny Knoxville. What was it called? Daltry Calhoun, and then I moved to New Orleans. He sent me the script, but I didn't think much of it because I often read his scripts. I had read all of the scripts since Kill Bill, and I had read Kill Bill long before I got that part, eight months before I got that part.

Papamutes:

Okay.

Laura:

When I first received the script in the mail, I thought he just wanted notes on it like usual. There's a group of us that he sends scripts to, and so I thought that's what it was about. That script is legendarily Long, and when I got to page 92-

Papamutes:

Classic.

Laura:

... I think it was, it said, "Lara Lee Candie-Fitzwilly, a tall, attractive, 40-ish, strawberry blonde Southern belle, and I went, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What?"

Papamutes:

That's you.

Laura:

I must have reread that description a dozen times going, "Did he write this for me?" I really couldn't wrap my brain around the idea that, "Did he really write a part for me?" It's a bigger part in the original script. I don't know, there was something that wouldn't let me believe it. Well, the fact that you mostly don't get the job, and he hadn't said, "Read this for the role." He had just sent it, so I don't know what I thought. Anyway, I didn't ask. I just said, "Do you want to hear my notes?" He was like, "Yeah, sure." So I gave him some notes and then months go by and they come to town to do location scouting and they invite me to have dinner.

I arrive for dinner and I'm there early because I'm here local, and they're coming from way out in Plantation Alley. They had been driving all in a van together, so they're all together. There's like, I don't know, 10 people or something. I'm just sitting by myself at a big table going, "Wow, there's going to be a lot of people in this man coming," or maybe it was seven, I don't know. It was just a lot. Then they all come in and as they're coming in, I'm like, "Wait a minute, that guy directed me. Wait a minute, that guy ... Oh, I know that ... "Oh, no. I worked with her on Kill Bill." I knew all, but one of the people-

Papamutes:

Oh, good.

Laura:

... and not all through Quentin, like Reginald Hudlin. Reggie Hudlin and I met at a concert, and I didn't even know he knew Quentin.

Papamutes:

There you go, networking. Yeah.

Laura:

Yeah. As they're coming in, and I'm seeing that it's Jim Skotchdopole, who was one of the producers on Enemy of the State and who had done the second unit directing on the day that we worked at the second unit, I'm seeing Stacy Sher who had worked with on Kill Bill. As they're coming in, I'm just like, "Okay, did I miss a memo? Did he forget to give me this role already?" Because this is clearly I'm going to be approved. Who's going to argue?

Papamutes:

It's a classic character's name.

Laura:

Well, yes. My name is Laura Lynn Cayouette. The character's name is Lara Lee Candie Fitzwilly. Come on, Lara Lee Candie and Laurel Lynn Kat are pretty much the same name. She's a tall, 40-ish strawberry blonde, like that's random. There are fewer strawberry blondes than there are actors who can make a living. So I still didn't ask and still didn't know. Then more time goes by and finally he calls and says, "We're coming back to town and I'd like to meet with you about the role." That's the first time that he'd mentioned the role to me at all.

Papamutes:

Wow.

Laura:

So that was eight months after I got the script, something like that, that I had no idea whether or not I would be involved.

Papamutes:

Now, how long were you on the set for Django Unchained, weeks, months?

Laura:

About five months.

Papamutes:

Five months?

Laura:

Yeah.

Papamutes:

Wow. Okay.

Laura:

That's the longest I've ever been on a project.

Papamutes:

It was in New Orleans?

Laura:

Yeah.

Papamutes:

Awesome.

Laura:

Yeah. Oh, but the answer of who he had to get ... He never made a movie with a studio before, and the studio, that was the hold up. The studio wanted, Lady Gaga was one that you hear a lot there, but there's a long list of names of really people that they wanted instead of, "Who? Laura, who?" So-

Papamutes:

Studios. All right, we skipped that question. Is there a movie with a female lead that you wish you would've had? Not one that you talk about in your book where you didn't get the part, but a movie you look back on and say, "Oh, that's a great part, would love to have had that part?" Any particular movie sticks out-

Laura:

That one's so easy.

Papamutes:

Okay.

Laura:

That's the easiest thing to answer in the whole wide world.

Papamutes:

What is it?

Laura:

Quentin already knows this one. It's why I got to be Lara Lee. Scarlett O'Hara from Gone With The Wind.

Papamutes:

There you go.

Laura:

It's the greatest role ever written for a woman ever in the history of cinema, so of course I want it.

Papamutes:

Yeah.

Laura:

I have no ego about that I would do better. It is God's blessings on the public that I am not the one that got it because Vivien Leigh so stuck a fork in that role, there's nothing left to be done. I have nothing extra to offer that role, other than that I'm Southern and she's from England, but she is Scarlett O'Hara. I'm not interested in seeing anybody else play it, but that's the role that I'm most covet.

Papamutes:

Okay. Okay. I'm just curious about actors and they see, you're not looking for your TV show or movie, you're somewhere and it's on. Do you-

Laura:

Oh, yeah.

Papamutes:

... reminisce and say, airport, wherever in a bar or whatever, and do you reminisce and say, "Oh," not about the scene because you know what the scene is, but, "I remember that day, that was the day I was sick, or that was the day-

Laura:

Of course-

Papamutes:

... I don't know, the lights went out?"

Laura:

 Oh, sure.

Papamutes:

Yeah, kind of like-

Laura:

All that.

Papamutes:

... watching home movies.

Laura:

I remember when, oh yeah, that was the time I needed to go to the bathroom and they wouldn't let me. Now there's chunks of it that it's like childbirth where your brain washes half of it away as soon as it's over just to get rid of the pain and move on with the rest of your life. But yeah, other than that whoosh of getting rid of a lot of details just to make your life manageable, there's all sorts of things that I'll remember that are about the experience.

Papamutes:

Right. Right. Cool. Now you talk about, again, in your book, Know Small Parts of various jobs you had to have while you were looking for work. Is there a profession that you like to have tried? If you didn't get into entertainment business, is there anything that would grab you?

Laura:

Well, I do the thing that I had intended to do, which is that I'm an author and I had intended to be a professor. I am an adjunct professor at times. So I wanted to be a teacher and an author, and I am. But-

Papamutes:

Anything way off the grid that's ... ?

Laura:

Yeah. I wanted to be an astronaut and a race car driver

Papamutes:

Okay, racing to space.

Laura:

Well, they go hand-in-hand. People who like fast cars and astronauts tend to line up. They also tend to fly jets at some point in between the two, so it goes Corvette, F-14 or F-18 or whatever, and then Rocket. So I guess I wanted to be Top Gun.

Papamutes:

Would you go into space if you could afford it? You know how they're shooting people into space now?

Laura:

Not even a question. I don't know how important it is to me now, but I would have loved to have done that before. I actually had a friend who was one of those people who, he actually was the first person to privately fund a spacecraft.

Papamutes:

Oh.

Laura:

He's not with us anymore, but so had he stuck around, I suppose I could have gone to space at some point. I would've done it if it had been with him or through him or whatever.

Papamutes:

Now who are, and what are the Pussyfooters about?

Laura:

Oh, I'm so glad you asked.

Papamutes:

Yeah, tell us.

Laura:

So the Pussyfooters is a dance troupe that I'm a part of, that we dance in the Mardi Gras parades and a variety of other parades. We just did the Krewe of Boo Halloween Parade, and now we're gearing up for the holiday parade for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, et cetera. So we are over 100 women over the age of 30 who we are teachers and nurses and doctors and attorneys and moms and sisters and friends and whatever, who do about 50 nonprofit events a year. I don't even know how many parades we participate in, and [inaudible 00:32:01]

Papamutes:

All in New Orleans? All the parades are in New Orleans?

Laura:

All in New Orleans pretty much.

Papamutes:

Okay.

Laura:

Yeah, we have and would travel. If Ellen had wanted us on our show, we would've done that, or if Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade calls, I'm sure we'd be happy to oblige. But yeah, we dance for those who can't. So we represent for domestic violence survivors, and we have a ball every year, a Mardi Gras ball that is called the Blush Ball. The Blush Ball is a fun event. For us, it's like putting together a wedding. It's a big darn deal to throw this thing together. But in one day, we raised tens of thousands of dollars for a local domestic abuse nonprofit. So last year, we raised $50,000.

Papamutes:

Impressive.

Laura:

That was our highest in one year. Well, it's actually in one day. It's just that it takes months to ramp up to that one day. So yeah, it's a wonderful group. We wear head-to-toe pink, pink wigs, pink corsets, very burlesque looking. We wear white combat boots for our marching and we call ourselves the Pink Army sometimes. But yeah, it's a really, really great group of women. I had always been afraid of large groups of women, and this is-

Papamutes:

Why? Wait. Wait, that's a weird thing, large groups of women, I'm-

Laura:

I was raised in the same society you were, aren't you afraid of large groups of women? I don't know. I'm not being groundbreaking, I'm just saying, what is, is that we fear women, so I feared women too. This has been a re-feminizing of me, a re-embracing. I didn't own any pink, and now I have so much pink. I have five pink wigs, that's just the start. But, I have so much pink, because we have dance practice. We have all these events that you don't always have to wear your whole uniform. Sometimes you can wear a tee-shirt or what ... then I just now have an affinity for pink. Now I'm like, "Oh, but that's so cute. It's pink." It has re-

Papamutes:

Pinkmatized you.

Laura:

... made me fall in love with being a woman.

Papamutes:

Now is there a website or something people want to go to-

Laura:

Yes. You can go to pussyfooters.org.

Papamutes:

There you go.

Laura:

Yeah. Our Blush Ball is coming up in January, so if anybody is coming to New Orleans for Carnival, we are a very fun event.

Papamutes:

A certain date? What's the date?

Laura:

I want to say it's the 27th. Hold on. I would have to look it up really quickly while we're-

Papamutes:

That's okay. Yeah.

Laura:

... doing this.

Papamutes:

 If they go to the website, it'll be on there, I'm sure. Right?

Laura:

Yes, but I'm almost 100% sure it is the 27th. Let me see. Save the date, Friday, January 27, 2023.

Papamutes:

Book it.

Laura:

We always have a brass band in the giant ballroom, and then we have a DJ in the smaller dance room. So we have two different types of music and two different dance rooms happening at once. Then in between, then a barbell is the silent auction area, so it's a lot of fun.

Papamutes:

Sounds like it's a party.

Laura:

It's a lot of fun. And we encourage people to wear pink and costume up if you want.

Papamutes:

Okay, awesome. Let's go off the beaten path a little bit. If you want to humor me, I have a segment, a couple of segments. One is called Dead or Alive. Now you're-

Laura:

Oh, okay.

Papamutes:

You're the entertainment business, obviously, in film-

Laura:

So this will be way more embarrassing if I get them wrong.

Papamutes:

That is true. I didn't look at it that way. I thought you would clean sweep it, but yeah, it's true. Very simple, I give you a celebrity actor or actress, you tell me within a reasonable timeframe if they're dead or alive.

Laura:

Okay.

Papamutes:

All you need is one for a Papamutes tee-shirt.

Laura:

Oh, okay. I didn't realize there were stakes here.

Papamutes:

Oh, yeah. That's very nice. It's invaluable. Jesus.

Laura:

Okay.

Papamutes:

All right. So here we go.

Laura:

All right.

Papamutes:

Dead or alive. Peter O'Toole, actor, famous for Lawrence of Arabia?

Laura:

I know exactly who he is. I can see those blue eyes, but I'm just trying to think. I would assume that he is dead, but I don't have any reason to know.

Papamutes:

Got to give me an answer.

Laura:

I'm going to say he is alive. I'm going to say he is alive 'cause I don't remember him dying.

Papamutes:

He's dead.

Laura:

Ah, that's a shame.

Papamutes:

2013. That's okay.

Laura:

Okay.

Papamutes:

Dick Van Dyke, actor?

Laura:

Very much alive. I did a show with him.

Papamutes:

Yes, very much alive. He's 96.

Laura:

He used to roller skate on set in between takes.

Papamutes:

Ah, now which show was that?

Laura:

Diagnosis Murder, which was about ... Yeah, so he would've been in his 70s and he was roller skating all over the set.

Papamutes:

Awesome.

Laura:

Yeah.

Papamutes:

Mel Brooks. Mel Brooks, actor?

Laura:

Now, Mel Brooks just died, didn't he, recently?

Papamutes:

I can't say.

Laura:

No, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, now wait. Now wait. Now wait.

Papamutes:

Mel Brooks-

Laura:

The 2000 Year Old Man.

Papamutes:

Young Frankenstein.

Laura:

No, no, no. Wait, 'cause there's a project he's currently doing, I believe, with another comic who's young.

Papamutes:

Well, hopefully, he's not dead doing it, but-

Laura:

Yeah, no, I think I have that right. He's doing a project with a young comic right this minute.

Papamutes:

You're saying he is alive?

Laura:

I'm saying he's alive.

Papamutes:

That is correct.

Laura:

Yay.

Papamutes:

Barbara-

Laura:

Well, and he has new project coming out.

Papamutes:

There you go. Barbara Eden, actress, I Dream of Jeanie?

Laura:

Barbara Eden I believe is still alive.

Papamutes:

She is alive, '91.

Laura:

Yes, 'cause we invited her to be a Pussyfooter, an honorary Pussyfooter, because she wore all pink.

Papamutes:

Yeah, I dreamt of Jeanie, trust me. I was at the right age. Nancy-

Laura:

Oh, yeah-

Papamutes:

Nancy Sinatra, singer, actress, Frank's daughter?

Laura:

Yeah, and her boots were made for walking? [inaudible 00:38:29]

Papamutes:

Yes.

Laura:

I'm guessing she's passed on.

Papamutes:

From what I have researched, she has a song in Kill Bill 2.

Laura:

Oh, yes. I believe you're correct about that. I think she's dead, but I, again, don't have any reason to know one way or the other.

Papamutes:

So you're saying dead.

Laura:

I'm going to just go dead, just 'cause I don't know.

Papamutes:

She's alive.

Laura:

Oh, well there you have it.

Papamutes:

She's 82. Craig T. Nelson, actor?

Laura:

Is still alive.

Papamutes:

He is.

Laura:

He's on a TV show called Young Sheldon.

Papamutes:

Yes. He's on a ton of shows and movies and anyway-

Laura:

Yeah, I know their resumes. I just don't know if [inaudible 00:39:07]

Papamutes:

I got to come up with another segment. All right. Okay. Jill Clayburgh

Laura:

Jill Clayburgh is dead.

Papamutes:

She is dead, 2010.

Laura:

Yeah.

Papamutes:

Last one-

Laura:

Yeah. She was in unmarried woman, and yeah.

Papamutes:

That launched her. Yep. Last one, Alan Arkin, actor?

Laura:

Is alive, yeah?

Papamutes:

He is alive. He's 88. Have you seen Wait Until Dark with Alan Akin when he was young? Suspense.

Laura:

Maybe.

Papamutes:

Classic. I highly recommend it. The girl-

Laura:

What is it about [inaudible 00:39:47] Is it The Blind Girl?

Papamutes:

Correct, and drugs were accident [inaudible 00:39:53] Yes. Drugs are accidentally smuggled into her apartment. That's just such a great film.

Laura:

No, I've never seen that one. No, I've definitely seen it.

Papamutes:

Yes. Yes. Yes. Now this segment's just a fun little get to know you without going through everything called one or the other. I'm just going to give you two choices. Doesn't mean you hate the other, it's just if you had a preference. All right? Here we go.

Laura:

Okay.

Papamutes:

One or the other, cat or dog?

Laura:

Cat.

Papamutes:

Wine or beer?

Laura:

Beer.

Papamutes:

Nice. I like that. Mountains or ocean?

Laura:

Ocean.

Papamutes:

Steak or lobster?

Laura:

Steak.

Papamutes:

Hometown or current town?

Laura:

Current town.

Papamutes:

Sunshine or moonshine.

Laura:

Oh, rough.

Papamutes:

Trick question.

Laura:

Yeah, because I am one of those seasonal people, but I am a night owl, so I need the sunshine or I'm not okay. But I don't really truly come alive till the moon's out. I'm going to have to say I don't play by all the rules. I'm not answering that one.

Papamutes:

Why don't you look at moonshine as, have you ever had moonshine? No, I'm talking about-

Laura:

Oh, no. I am not interested in that anymore. Now when you asked me than when Johnny Knoxville offered it to me on the set of Daltry Calhoun.

Papamutes:

There you go, so sunshine's the answer.

Laura:

Okay. Well, I thought you were asking me between the reflective light of the moon or that-

Papamutes:

I was, but I figured I'll switch it up to make it easy on you. All right. Chocolate or ice cream?

Laura:

Chocolate.

Papamutes:

New York or LA?

Laura:

Oh, Lord. New Orleans.

Papamutes:

Oh, whoa. Scratch on both. Pizza or pasta?

Laura:

Pasta.

Papamutes:

Nice. Drama or comedy?

Laura:

Oh, it's going to have to be comedy.

Papamutes:

Okay. TV or film?

Laura:

I'm a film girl. I watch more TV than film, but I'm a film girl.

Papamutes:

All right. I just wrote this one down before we started, but writing or directing?

Laura:

I'm going to have to say that the thing I've done all my life is writing. Directing, that was something that Quentin put me onto where I realized, oh my gosh, there's a whole nother way to tell stories. It was definitely one of my favorites, but I entered at a time where being a female was a handicap that I didn't realize was waiting for me. I have always loved writing. That was my thing I knew I would do my whole life.

Papamutes:

All right. Cool. One last question. Which one of these movie titles is not a real movie? Okay?

Laura:

Okay.

Papamutes:

The other two have actually been made, produced, and you could watch them online wherever. All right? I'll give you three of them in a row, and which one is not an actual movie?

Laura:

Okay.

Papamutes:

Number one, Please Don't Eat My Mother. Number two, Over-sexed Rugsuckers from Mars. Number three, Moon Cow. Which one is not a real movie? Please-

Laura:

What was the third one?

Papamutes:

Moon Cow. C-O-W, Moon Cow. Please Don't Eat My Mother, Over-sexed Rugsuckers from Mars or Moon Cow.

Laura:

I'm going to go with Moon Cow.

Papamutes:

That is correct. The other two are actually movies. Please Don't Eat My-

Laura:

I know my people.

Papamutes:

Please Don't Eat My Mother was in 1973. Over-sexed Rugsuckers From Mars is actually 2022.

Laura:

Really?

Papamutes:

It's so bizarre, I actually might have to watch it. I had to look it up and say, is this real? So what's happening in 2023 for you?

Laura:

Well, right now, I wrote an eBook called Writing Unblocked: How I Went From Writing 1 Book In 20 years To 5 Books in 4 Years. I describe in there my process called the Three-Step Prep. That is how I went from writing one book in 20 years to five books in four years. I have taken that process and I'm applying it to a screenplay that I wrote in 2005 that I'm now turning into a two book series, and it's 17 years later when I'm doing that. So it is an opportunity for me to truly, truly prove to myself that my Three-Step Prep is really ... I've never been religious about like, "Oh, I can save you. I can save ... " When I-

Papamutes:

Praise the Lord.

Laura:

I feel like I could save you 20 years of writing crap. I can save you because I am heading into this, I did eight months of research when I wrote this in 2005. I did eight months of research before I wrote one word. So when I pulled open the box from 2005, there's a stack this tall of notebooks of notes. Then there's another stack the same height of books that are all highlighted and dogeared and what every page is highlighted. Then there's another stack that tall of index cards and note cards and whatever with notes all over them. I looked at the box and thought, "I don't want to write the book until I feel as pregnant with the idea as I did when I was this fully immersed in that eight months of research." I accidentally taught myself how to read hieroglyphs because I was so deep into this story.

Papamutes:

Wow.

Laura:

I was like, "How do I get back to that from this ... ?" I'm looking at the box going, "I don't even know what to open." So I thought, "Actually, Laura, you know exactly what to do. Do your Three-Step Prep." So I started working on it in the way that I know works and is repeatable and is easy and fun and inspiring instead of torturing myself and hating it and then getting frustrated and walking away. I am only at two or three weeks into this process and I am so on fire. I'm so excited. I've already figured out it's a two book series. I have all the chapters laid out. I am on it. It is happening.

Papamutes:

Cool.

Laura:

So I am writing this two book series, The Source, and that's one thing I'm working on right now. Obviously if you're interested in learning the Three-Step Prep, I highly recommend that you check out Writing Unblocked. I also have a six video course that's designed to go with it that's called Creating Characters. That takes everything I know from acting, my master's in creative writing, all my training at Writers Boot Camp for screenplays, and takes all that and puts it all together to teach you how to make three-dimensional characters that help drive your story forward.

Papamutes:

Now, where can people find those books?

Laura:

Those you can find on my website at lauracayoutte.com. There's direct links from there. Those are the only two products I have that are not available on Amazon. Everything else I have, you can just get it on Amazon. But those two writing tools are only available through an off-site place. The good news about that is that I can offer discounts and I'm happy to offer your audience. So I'm also working on, I'm directing my first documentary.

Papamutes:

Oh, nice.

Laura:

Yeah. So that's what I'm doing in the filmmaking world right now is I'm directing this documentary about the French Quarter and tourism and finding a balance, so I'm doing that. I'm shooting this weekend, no, next weekend, a short film for one of ... Like I said, I was an adjunct professor at University of New Orleans for a while, so I'm working with one of the students there. Then I have a movie coming out soon, I think, called Off Ramp: Juggalo Road, which is, do you know what a juggalo is?

Papamutes:

I know what a gigolo is.

Laura:

Right? Well, have you ever heard of the Insane Clown Posse?

Papamutes:

Yes.

Laura:

Okay. So the Insane Clown Posse groupies are called juggalos, and they wear the black and white paint and the whole thing, so this is a movie set in that universe. I'm just in the first five minutes, but I play a prison warden who basically helps you understand that that culture is everywhere.

Papamutes:

Okay. I'm in.

Laura:

Yeah, that's good. That's, again, another former student who they're producing that's her feature film, and that's her first feature film.

Papamutes:

Oh, sure.

Laura:

She's become an award-winning short film director, and so now she's producing.

Papamutes:

Your life is on Google in a sense.

Laura:

Oh, yeah. I know my husband [inaudible 00:50:07]

Papamutes:

Photos, a lot of photos, mostly nice, obviously. How do you initially handle that when someone just Googles your name and everything pops up from years ago, whether you're in a bikini or you're in a dress? It's just, it's boom. What's the mindset there?

Laura:

I do think it's funny how they find the bikini ones. I did an ice bucket challenge and it got a lot of hits and I was like, "This is not because of the ice. This is definitely because I chose to do this in a bathing suit." I am not ashamed of any of the photos of me. There's nothing out there that I would say, "You're not allowed to look at that."

Papamutes:

Right. Right.

Laura:

I don't have any children, so that always makes it easier to have done that at every time in my life to have been in my underwear for a lot of my life career wise. If you're not familiar with my career, a lot of it took place in my underwear.

Papamutes:

Yes. Yes.

Laura:

Not only am I okay with that, I am proud of that. Quentin used to call me, "The Joe motherfucking Lewis of the under five in her underwear."

Papamutes:

Okay.

Laura:

That's something that I owned. I was the girl you hired when you needed somebody to come in and have a quick moment and make a lasting impression, a la Kill Bill and Enemy of the State, whatever, in my underwear. So I don't have a problem with anything that's out there, and that's by design. I'm not willing to be famous in a way that has people caring about who I'm dating or whether I'm pregnant or all that stuff, and so I have made a lot of career choices that might be confusing to people who want to be famous.

Papamutes:

Right. Right.

Laura:

Yeah. I think I'm very blessed to have met Richard very early on and then have connected with him within my first year of being in LA. I've told this story before, but big impression on me, we were at a red light, I even remember exactly which red light. He looked at me and he said-

Papamutes:

Now, you're talking about Richard Dreyfuss, correct?

Laura:

Yeah.

Papamutes:

Okay.

Laura:

He said, "You know why God put us together in this situation?" I was like, "Well, I know why I think, why do you think?" He said, "To teach you to be careful what you wish for." I heard him and I paid attention to what his life cost. I paid attention to his famous friends and our famous friends and my famous friends, because at some point I had a number of fancy friends and there were parts of their life that I don't want that. I could be famous for curing cancer. That would be okay.

Papamutes:

Yeah, sure.

Laura:

I don't mind having mind the world knowing who I am. I don't mind my face being like if I forget my ID, I can just say, "Google me." I don't mind that. I don't mind that I get the privileges that come with being known by some people and some people thinking you're fancy and wanting you around to be a celebrity judge or to whatever.

Papamutes:

Right. Right.

Laura:

But I really need for my life to belong to me, and I chose a city, a lifestyle, and a husband that don't like all that stuff.

Papamutes:

You did it the right way.

Laura:

Well, I'm just saying, considering this is where I want to be and this is how I want to live, I'm really glad that I didn't get myself all famoused up because this is where I want to be and this is how I want to be. I feel blessed that I can just be here and be known as Laura, be known as Laura, the author, Laura, the blogger, Laura, the Pussyfooter dancer. Some people know that I'm also that girl that's on the TV and movies, but not everybody knows. I want to know, what was your favorite thing about the Know Small Parts book?

Papamutes:

When you moved to LA, like you said, you didn't know anybody. Just to back it up for people that are trying to get into acting, I have a nephew who moved to LA to be a filmmaker. How did you know where to go? Like you said you were in a neighborhood, you wanted to be a certain spot, you didn't want a dangerous neighborhood, but you still have to pay. How'd you know where to go initially, or did you have a connection?

Laura:

No, I [inaudible 00:55:38]

Papamutes:

You can't get off the bus and just like, "Oh, I'm in LA."

Laura:

I did. I did.

Papamutes:

Well, how'd you do that? How'd you know where to go?

Laura:

Because I had seen it in movies just like everybody else. I didn't know anything about LA any more than any other person. I had to [inaudible 00:55:51]

Papamutes:

I know but that day you still had to go sleep somewhere.

Laura:

Yeah. I drove across country, so I had a car and we didn't have the internet back then. So the answer to how do you do it now is how do you do it now is the internet-

Papamutes:

Makes sense.

Laura:

That's how you do it. Yeah, because when I moved to New Orleans, now, New Orleans, I've been to a billion times in my life. But New Orleans, when I was planning my move, I didn't have time for a trip. So I found my apartment on the internet and I sent my money a month before I planned on moving here to make sure I got the spot that I had found.

Papamutes:

How'd you know it was safe, though, so to speak?

Laura:

I chose the neighborhood based on a number of markers. So for example, if you're moving to LA, anything in the Beverly Hills zip codes, anything in the Beverly Hills purview has its own police force. Well, we have an area here in New Orleans that has the same thing. The Garden District has its own police force. So when I moved here, I thought, "Well, I don't know anybody and I don't know anything, so I'll move to the place that has its own police force," because that way they made a point of saying that if I needed somebody to walk me to my door, if my battery died and I needed a jump, they made sure that I knew that they were a full-service community policing group and that they weren't there just for about crime. They were there to protect and to serve.

Papamutes:

I don't know what it was like back then, but nothing's cheap anymore.

Laura:

No. It was one of the most expensive neighborhoods in New Orleans, so that was a consideration, but I just chose ... You know what I did and I did it both times? When I moved to la, when I moved here, when I moved to New York, I just found the cheapest place in the best neighborhood.

Papamutes:

Makes sense. You were by yourself-

Laura:

That way-

Papamutes:

You didn't have roommates or anything?

Laura:

In New York, I had a roommate in New York because in New York I was there only half the week, and so it made sense to have a roommate. I'd also lived in a dorm environment at some point in a building with no roommate. I lived in a building that was owned by the Volunteers of America, and so my rent was extremely low. I was a student and the rent was extremely low. It was a shared bathroom, shared cafeteria for meals. But my rent included two meals a day and they even cleaned my room for me. They would mop the floors and change my sheets once a week.

Papamutes:

This was New York you're talking about?

Laura:

Yeah.

Papamutes:

Okay.

Laura:

It was like a dormitory. It wasn't very private. Back then we didn't have phones, so back then we'd have-

Papamutes:

Oh, my God, what are we going to do? We don't have phones. Oh, my God.

Laura:

Well, we had one phone per floor for the entire floor.

Papamutes:

The good old days.

Laura:

Yeah. It's the same thing I did when I moved to la. I found a room in somebody's very nice house in the hills, and it was $400 a month, and I stayed there until I could figure out ... you just find the-

Papamutes:

Figure it out.

Laura:

Yeah, just find the cheapest spot in the nicest neighborhood, and then you can figure out, "What's my neighborhood? Which is the neighborhood that has my vibe? What's close to all the stuff I go to? What makes it so I have to commute less or what's easier to park at?" Or all that stuff, you can figure all that out once you live there.

Papamutes:

Good advice.

Laura:

Yeah.

Papamutes:

Good advice.

Laura:

Yeah. I signed six-month rents when I first moved to a place. Now, when I first moved to New Orleans, I signed a six-month rental and stayed there for 10 years. But I sign a six-month just in case it's horrible. Nowadays, how could you not move on the internet? You can go on Google Earth and Zoom down into-

Papamutes:

You can see the building-

Laura:

That's a pain-

Papamutes:

... literally, on Google.

Laura:

When I moved here, I went and zoomed and virtually walked all the neighborhoods that I was checking out. I could see where their watermarks were for Katrina, so I could tell who got flooded and who didn't.

Papamutes:

Wow.

Laura:

I could see who had issues with trash collection, who had issues with crime and all that, because you could see it on the streets. So just nowadays, it makes no sense not to jump and try something as far as like, "But I've never been there before."

Papamutes:

Right. Right.

Laura:

There are lots of reasons to not leave your environment. There's lots of reasons not to go somewhere new, but because I've never been before is not one of them.

Papamutes:

Right. Good advice for young actors, filmmakers, et cetera. It's excellent advice. All right.

Laura:

Okay, great.

Papamutes:

All right. Well, you have a good evening.

Laura:

Well, fantastic. All right. Thank you so much.

Papamutes:

You.

Laura:

All right, be well.

Papamutes:

Have a good night. All right, there you have it, Laura Cayouette. I want to thank Laura again for coming on the Papamutes podcast. Now, there's someone who walked the walk. She moved to LA, started to socialize, party, network, however you want to frame it, and she worked her way up. She has a wealth of knowledge and she shares it in her book, Know Small Parts, so I highly recommend reading that. If you're looking to get into acting seriously, read it. It's a reality check. It's not discouraging, it's more encouraging, but it's something I highly recommend to read. She's worked with many people.

We only scratched the surface, people like Matthew McConaughey, Woody Harrelson, Will Smith, Kevin Costner, Samuel L. Jackson, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gene Hackman, Jamie Foxx, Ruth Buzzi. Ruth Buzzi, come on, classic TV shows and films. Obviously Friends was mentioned, Fantasy Island, Diagnosis Murder, Nash Bridges, all the way back to Larry Sanders Show. Again, there's a lot of knowledge there. She's online, she's there to help you, and she's still in the business. She's not retired by any means, and she likes beer and pasta, can't beat that. Speaking of beer, I got one with my name on it sitting in the fridge. So until next time, thanks for listening. Take care.

Speaker 4:

This has been an Unmuted podcast with Papamutes.