{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":0.0,"endTime":2.73,"body":"Hello, my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":0.0,"endTime":2.73,"body":"friends and welcome to another"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2.73,"endTime":6.57,"body":"episode of unlimited today we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2.73,"endTime":6.57,"body":"are talking about building a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":6.57,"endTime":13.89,"body":"relationship to pleasure and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":6.57,"endTime":13.89,"body":"intimacy. And yes, this episode"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":14.46,"endTime":18.42,"body":"is explicit has little explicit"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":14.46,"endTime":18.42,"body":"marker at least it should on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":18.42,"endTime":23.1,"body":"whatever listening platform you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":18.42,"endTime":23.1,"body":"are listening on. But on the off"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":23.1,"endTime":27.36,"body":"chance you missed that, or it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":23.1,"endTime":27.36,"body":"autoplay, this is your heads up,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":27.84,"endTime":34.89,"body":"that this episode is probably"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":27.84,"endTime":34.89,"body":"not for the younglings in your"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":34.89,"endTime":39.78,"body":"life. Most of my episodes are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":34.89,"endTime":39.78,"body":"kid friendly, maybe not kid"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":39.78,"endTime":45.12,"body":"interesting, but kid friendly."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":39.78,"endTime":45.12,"body":"This one is most likely not."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":45.21,"endTime":51.09,"body":"Because, as you might imagine,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":45.21,"endTime":51.09,"body":"we are talking about sex. This"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":51.12,"endTime":56.28,"body":"is a beautiful and juicy"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":51.12,"endTime":56.28,"body":"episode, where we are really"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":56.28,"endTime":61.95,"body":"digging into this often"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":56.28,"endTime":61.95,"body":"considered taboo subject, where"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":62.13,"endTime":65.73,"body":"we really need to have an"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":62.13,"endTime":65.73,"body":"understanding because it has"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":65.76,"endTime":70.92,"body":"such an important role in most"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":65.76,"endTime":70.92,"body":"of our lives. Yet, it's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":70.92,"endTime":73.44,"body":"something that we don't talk"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":70.92,"endTime":73.44,"body":"about, it's something that at"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":73.44,"endTime":76.83,"body":"least my generation, there"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":73.44,"endTime":76.83,"body":"wasn't a lot of information."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":77.4,"endTime":82.11,"body":"Sometimes you got a book or the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":77.4,"endTime":82.11,"body":"talk, but in terms of really"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":82.11,"endTime":86.43,"body":"understanding ourselves on an"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":82.11,"endTime":86.43,"body":"intimate level, understanding"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":86.43,"endTime":92.13,"body":"our bodies understanding, having"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":86.43,"endTime":92.13,"body":"a relationship to other bodies"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":92.13,"endTime":98.37,"body":"in an intimate way, other people"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":92.13,"endTime":98.37,"body":"and that depth of emotional,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":98.37,"endTime":104.64,"body":"spiritual, physical embodied"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":98.37,"endTime":104.64,"body":"experience with another person,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":105.15,"endTime":110.43,"body":"we just didn't talk about it."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":105.15,"endTime":110.43,"body":"And oftentimes, it's because our"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":110.43,"endTime":114.57,"body":"parents didn't have the capacity"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":110.43,"endTime":114.57,"body":"to talk about it. So I have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":114.57,"endTime":120.39,"body":"invited Daniela Stevens who uses"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":114.57,"endTime":120.39,"body":"she they pronouns to come on and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":120.87,"endTime":128.13,"body":"help support this understanding,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":120.87,"endTime":128.13,"body":"and our own conversation with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":128.13,"endTime":132.54,"body":"ourselves and with our partners"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":128.13,"endTime":132.54,"body":"around an understanding of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":132.54,"endTime":138.03,"body":"intimacy and pleasure. Through"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":132.54,"endTime":138.03,"body":"sex. Daniela is a trauma and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":138.03,"endTime":141.48,"body":"attachment informed certified"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":138.03,"endTime":141.48,"body":"sex and intimacy coach for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":141.48,"endTime":146.58,"body":"couples and individuals of all"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":141.48,"endTime":146.58,"body":"bodies and all expressions. She"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":146.58,"endTime":150.84,"body":"supports people to experience"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":146.58,"endTime":150.84,"body":"deep sexual connection and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":150.84,"endTime":154.62,"body":"intimacy with themselves and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":150.84,"endTime":154.62,"body":"their partner by addressing the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":154.62,"endTime":158.16,"body":"intersections of personal"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":154.62,"endTime":158.16,"body":"experience with multiple systems"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":158.16,"endTime":162.72,"body":"of oppression. And by guiding"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":158.16,"endTime":162.72,"body":"them to clarify, connect,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":162.75,"endTime":168.33,"body":"communicate, heal, and CO create"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":162.75,"endTime":168.33,"body":"the sex they want, and the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":168.33,"endTime":173.01,"body":"intimacy they desire. for over"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":168.33,"endTime":173.01,"body":"20 years, she's worked with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":173.01,"endTime":176.55,"body":"1000s of people coaching one on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":173.01,"endTime":176.55,"body":"one teaching in college"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":176.55,"endTime":181.5,"body":"classrooms and guiding people in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":176.55,"endTime":181.5,"body":"yoga studios utilizing somatic"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":181.5,"endTime":185.73,"body":"attachment therapy, embodied"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":181.5,"endTime":185.73,"body":"conflict resolution and somatic"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":185.73,"endTime":189.48,"body":"abolitionism. Alongside"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":185.73,"endTime":189.48,"body":"neuroscience, holistic healing,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":189.51,"endTime":194.01,"body":"trauma resolution, and modern"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":189.51,"endTime":194.01,"body":"coaching, blended with ancient"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":194.01,"endTime":198.93,"body":"tantric and Taoist wisdom. For"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":194.01,"endTime":198.93,"body":"her nothing is more important"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":198.96,"endTime":202.89,"body":"than connection. Some of the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":198.96,"endTime":202.89,"body":"things that we talk about in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":202.89,"endTime":209.16,"body":"this episode are breaking the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":202.89,"endTime":209.16,"body":"rules and roles we assume in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":209.16,"endTime":214.26,"body":"romantic relationships, learning"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":209.16,"endTime":214.26,"body":"to love yourself and listen to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":214.26,"endTime":221.31,"body":"your body. Shifting out of the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":214.26,"endTime":221.31,"body":"goals, mindset to intentions"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":221.37,"endTime":225.96,"body":"when it comes to sex, the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":221.37,"endTime":225.96,"body":"pressure to perform and ways"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":225.96,"endTime":228.72,"body":"that we disconnect from"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":225.96,"endTime":228.72,"body":"ourselves and from others and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":228.72,"endTime":234.81,"body":"from our body, and what we can"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":228.72,"endTime":234.81,"body":"do about healing that. And of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":234.81,"endTime":237.87,"body":"course, just so much more."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":234.81,"endTime":237.87,"body":"There's so much in this episode,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":237.87,"endTime":243.21,"body":"I am thrilled to share it with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":237.87,"endTime":243.21,"body":"you. So now without further ado,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":243.42,"endTime":247.5,"body":"let's get started. Hey there,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":243.42,"endTime":247.5,"body":"I'm Valerie Friedlander,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":247.5,"endTime":250.8,"body":"Certified Life business"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":247.5,"endTime":250.8,"body":"alignment coach, and this is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":250.83,"endTime":255.0,"body":"unlimited. This podcast bridges"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":250.83,"endTime":255.0,"body":"the individual and the societal,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":255.03,"endTime":259.5,"body":"scientific and spiritual,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":255.03,"endTime":259.5,"body":"positive and negative, nerdy and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":259.65,"endTime":264.12,"body":"no, there's just a lot of nerdy."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":259.65,"endTime":264.12,"body":"come on board and let's unlock a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":264.12,"endTime":266.76,"body":"light. This is badass as you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":264.12,"endTime":266.76,"body":"are."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":273.99,"endTime":277.62,"body":"Welcome, Daniela, I'm so excited"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":273.99,"endTime":277.62,"body":"to have you on the podcast"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":277.62,"endTime":278.25,"body":"today."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":278.73,"endTime":280.02,"body":"I'm so excited"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":278.73,"endTime":280.02,"body":"to be here."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":281.17,"endTime":285.61,"body":"So I'd like"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":281.17,"endTime":285.61,"body":"to kick off with a question"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":285.67,"endTime":291.61,"body":"about what is a limit that you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":285.67,"endTime":291.61,"body":"took for granted in your adult"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":291.61,"endTime":294.52,"body":"life at least that you've since"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":291.61,"endTime":294.52,"body":"unlearned?"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":295.48,"endTime":297.88,"body":"And this is a"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":295.48,"endTime":297.88,"body":"really easy question. For me."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":297.91,"endTime":303.07,"body":"I'm a sex and intimacy coach."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":297.91,"endTime":303.07,"body":"For couples and individuals, and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":303.07,"endTime":308.62,"body":"I came to this work because I"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":303.07,"endTime":308.62,"body":"wasn't experiencing orgasm, and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":309.25,"endTime":314.59,"body":"had never experienced orgasm for"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":309.25,"endTime":314.59,"body":"decades until my late 30s. And"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":314.59,"endTime":320.68,"body":"that felt like my limit, it felt"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":314.59,"endTime":320.68,"body":"like I was unhuman I felt like I"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":320.68,"endTime":325.45,"body":"was alien. So beyond broken, my"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":320.68,"endTime":325.45,"body":"suffering kind of transcended"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":325.48,"endTime":332.59,"body":"into a deep sense of not"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":325.48,"endTime":332.59,"body":"belonging. And through the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":332.59,"endTime":336.43,"body":"process of becoming"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":332.59,"endTime":336.43,"body":"multi-orgasmic, being able to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":336.43,"endTime":340.24,"body":"experience different orgasms,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":336.43,"endTime":340.24,"body":"being able to experience"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":340.27,"endTime":343.84,"body":"orgasms, one after another,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":340.27,"endTime":343.84,"body":"being able to experience"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":343.84,"endTime":349.9,"body":"spontaneous orgasms, and orgasms"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":343.84,"endTime":349.9,"body":"without touch. I've really"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":349.9,"endTime":354.73,"body":"learned and embodied that"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":349.9,"endTime":354.73,"body":"orgasms are not the end all be"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":354.73,"endTime":360.64,"body":"all of pleasure, of connection,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":354.73,"endTime":360.64,"body":"of depths of intimacy with"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":360.64,"endTime":365.14,"body":"myself, or intimacy with a"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":360.64,"endTime":365.14,"body":"partner. And so that was my"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":365.17,"endTime":370.66,"body":"preconceived notion of of limit"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":365.17,"endTime":370.66,"body":"that I've I've since really"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":370.66,"endTime":372.55,"body":"broken down and transcendent."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":373.09,"endTime":376.24,"body":"Hmm, that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":373.09,"endTime":376.24,"body":"is powerful. One of the things"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":376.24,"endTime":381.13,"body":"we wanted to really look at is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":376.24,"endTime":381.13,"body":"some of the designs in our life,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":381.16,"endTime":385.75,"body":"because sex ends up being a big"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":381.16,"endTime":385.75,"body":"part of our role in a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":385.75,"endTime":389.68,"body":"relationship. What does that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":385.75,"endTime":389.68,"body":"work around? These things look"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":389.68,"endTime":391.03,"body":"like? Where do you even start?"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":391.36,"endTime":394.24,"body":"Yeah, well,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":391.36,"endTime":394.24,"body":"I'll start with my own personal"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":394.24,"endTime":399.04,"body":"experience. And my partner at"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":394.24,"endTime":399.04,"body":"the time we were married, we"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":399.04,"endTime":402.91,"body":"were together for over 20 years"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":399.04,"endTime":402.91,"body":"had three children had a really"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":402.91,"endTime":407.32,"body":"great deep relationship that"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":402.91,"endTime":407.32,"body":"moved through so many of these"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":407.32,"endTime":414.31,"body":"challenges. And I remember us"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":407.32,"endTime":414.31,"body":"both having an unconscious"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":414.37,"endTime":423.16,"body":"unspoken limit, or expectation"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":414.37,"endTime":423.16,"body":"that if we had sex 2.5 times a"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":423.16,"endTime":429.28,"body":"week, we were we were having a"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":423.16,"endTime":429.28,"body":"great relationship. And so I"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":429.28,"endTime":436.03,"body":"remember the pressure to have"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":429.28,"endTime":436.03,"body":"sex for the quantity to be"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":436.03,"endTime":443.74,"body":"there. And no thought whatsoever"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":436.03,"endTime":443.74,"body":"as to whether or not they were"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":443.74,"endTime":447.07,"body":"having a good time experiencing"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":443.74,"endTime":447.07,"body":"satisfaction, pleasure,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":447.22,"endTime":453.52,"body":"fulfillment, connection, or"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":447.22,"endTime":453.52,"body":"whether I was. And so that was"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":453.52,"endTime":457.9,"body":"one of the things we really"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":453.52,"endTime":457.9,"body":"began to dismantle and to see"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":457.9,"endTime":462.13,"body":"how if we just said we had sex,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":457.9,"endTime":462.13,"body":"it was like a checkbox."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":463.08,"endTime":465.15,"body":"That's what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":463.08,"endTime":465.15,"body":"I was thinking, like, right? We"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":465.15,"endTime":467.25,"body":"did that thing. Okay, check that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":465.15,"endTime":467.25,"body":"off the list,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":467.28,"endTime":472.35,"body":"it was a chore,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":467.28,"endTime":472.35,"body":"it was a criteria by which the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":472.35,"endTime":478.89,"body":"external world measures how good"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":472.35,"endTime":478.89,"body":"of a relationship you're in. And"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":478.89,"endTime":483.54,"body":"it's one of those things where"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":478.89,"endTime":483.54,"body":"you could be having sex a couple"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":483.54,"endTime":487.77,"body":"times a week, and still not be"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":483.54,"endTime":487.77,"body":"having a great relationship"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":487.83,"endTime":491.76,"body":"could still not be experiencing"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":487.83,"endTime":491.76,"body":"pleasure, you could be having"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":491.76,"endTime":496.32,"body":"orgasms both of you. And it's"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":491.76,"endTime":496.32,"body":"still not mean that it's"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":496.32,"endTime":497.88,"body":"satisfying or fulfilling."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":498.51,"endTime":500.37,"body":"What seems"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":498.51,"endTime":500.37,"body":"like the the disconnection"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":500.37,"endTime":504.18,"body":"between the physical acts of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":500.37,"endTime":504.18,"body":"physical tangible things that we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":504.18,"endTime":508.44,"body":"do and the intimacy of a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":504.18,"endTime":508.44,"body":"relationship, how connected you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":508.44,"endTime":514.14,"body":"actually feel. And I know"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":508.44,"endTime":514.14,"body":"there's there multiple layers to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":514.14,"endTime":516.63,"body":"that connection, there's the the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":514.14,"endTime":516.63,"body":"connection we have with one"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":516.63,"endTime":520.41,"body":"another. But to be able to have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":516.63,"endTime":520.41,"body":"a connection with another"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":520.41,"endTime":524.28,"body":"person, something I will talk a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":520.41,"endTime":524.28,"body":"lot about is we have to have a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":524.28,"endTime":527.55,"body":"connection to ourselves first."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":524.28,"endTime":527.55,"body":"We have to have that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":527.55,"endTime":530.28,"body":"understanding, be able to listen"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":527.55,"endTime":530.28,"body":"to ourselves, be able to listen"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":530.28,"endTime":533.04,"body":"to our bodies, which is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":530.28,"endTime":533.04,"body":"something we are actually very"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":533.04,"endTime":538.65,"body":"much conditioned not to listen"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":533.04,"endTime":538.65,"body":"to. And then a relationship."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":538.71,"endTime":542.34,"body":"You've probably heard that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":538.71,"endTime":542.34,"body":"saying like, you can't love"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":542.67,"endTime":544.8,"body":"somebody else until you love"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":542.67,"endTime":544.8,"body":"yourself. And I feel like"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":544.8,"endTime":548.22,"body":"there's there's a lot of like"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":544.8,"endTime":548.22,"body":"that glosses over so much"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":548.22,"endTime":551.28,"body":"because I feel like in ways I've"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":548.22,"endTime":551.28,"body":"learned to love myself through"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":551.28,"endTime":557.31,"body":"loving somebody else. Yes, but"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":551.28,"endTime":557.31,"body":"also, I get that like, if all of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":557.31,"endTime":561.78,"body":"my focus is on the other person"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":557.31,"endTime":561.78,"body":"and is not on myself then I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":561.78,"endTime":564.57,"body":"missing something and I work"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":561.78,"endTime":564.57,"body":"with a lot of people pleasers"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":564.96,"endTime":568.83,"body":"who will do that like for me to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":564.96,"endTime":568.83,"body":"be okay, I'm going to make you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":568.83,"endTime":572.58,"body":"Okay. Kind of dynamic. How does"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":568.83,"endTime":572.58,"body":"that play out? Because I'm sure"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":572.58,"endTime":577.26,"body":"you see this how does that play"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":572.58,"endTime":577.26,"body":"out in intimacy and sex?"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":577.89,"endTime":580.11,"body":"Well, I"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":577.89,"endTime":580.11,"body":"remember Brene Brown saying that"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":580.35,"endTime":582.6,"body":"you can only love someone else"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":580.35,"endTime":582.6,"body":"as much as you love yourself."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":582.63,"endTime":592.23,"body":"And I remember feeling hit by"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":582.63,"endTime":592.23,"body":"it. And I think she has or would"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":592.26,"endTime":596.79,"body":"walk that back. And I do think"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":592.26,"endTime":596.79,"body":"it is not attributed to her"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":596.79,"endTime":601.44,"body":"specifically that it's it's"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":596.79,"endTime":601.44,"body":"something much, much older. we"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":601.44,"endTime":606.24,"body":"only learn to love ourselves in"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":601.44,"endTime":606.24,"body":"attachment and connection to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":606.27,"endTime":612.0,"body":"others. So we have to actually"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":606.27,"endTime":612.0,"body":"bring in attachment theory and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":612.06,"endTime":616.83,"body":"collective understanding of"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":612.06,"endTime":616.83,"body":"ourselves in one another, to be"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":616.83,"endTime":619.86,"body":"able to understand how that's"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":616.83,"endTime":619.86,"body":"inaccurate, it's very"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":619.86,"endTime":624.09,"body":"individualistic, right? If we"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":619.86,"endTime":624.09,"body":"are going to learn how to love"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":624.09,"endTime":630.81,"body":"ourselves, we can't do that in"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":624.09,"endTime":630.81,"body":"isolation. Yeah. And what"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":630.81,"endTime":637.05,"body":"happens is we could learn to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":630.81,"endTime":637.05,"body":"love ourselves by being loved by"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":637.05,"endTime":641.07,"body":"our partner, our partner"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":637.05,"endTime":641.07,"body":"inviting us to love ourselves,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":641.37,"endTime":648.93,"body":"our partner, offering us love."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":641.37,"endTime":648.93,"body":"And we have to be willing and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":648.93,"endTime":655.98,"body":"feel capable. There's a, there's"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":648.93,"endTime":655.98,"body":"a nervous system capacity to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":655.98,"endTime":665.49,"body":"receive that love. Yeah. So it's"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":655.98,"endTime":665.49,"body":"a dynamic between two or more"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":665.49,"endTime":672.18,"body":"people. And it's something we"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":665.49,"endTime":672.18,"body":"have to learn. It's not"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":672.18,"endTime":678.12,"body":"something necessarily that we"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":672.18,"endTime":678.12,"body":"excavate from within. Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":678.18,"endTime":682.56,"body":"sometimes it can feel less"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":678.18,"endTime":682.56,"body":"vulnerable to do it in"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":682.56,"endTime":688.47,"body":"friendship, or to do it, in"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":682.56,"endTime":688.47,"body":"belonging, in sports, or in"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":688.47,"endTime":693.51,"body":"belonging in activism. So in a"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":688.47,"endTime":693.51,"body":"community where it's lower risk,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":694.2,"endTime":698.25,"body":"we can learn to love and be"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":694.2,"endTime":698.25,"body":"loved to receive care to offer"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":698.25,"endTime":704.13,"body":"care, and support. And, and feel"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":698.25,"endTime":704.13,"body":"a sense of, of safety with"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":704.22,"endTime":706.53,"body":"others. Does that make sense?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":706.63,"endTime":708.91,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":706.63,"endTime":708.91,"body":"Well, it resonates a lot with a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":708.91,"endTime":712.48,"body":"previous interview I did with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":708.91,"endTime":712.48,"body":"Amina Chaudhry, where we were"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":712.48,"endTime":717.34,"body":"talking about belonging, and how"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":712.48,"endTime":717.34,"body":"belonging is an outside in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":717.37,"endTime":720.4,"body":"saying not an inside out thing."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":717.37,"endTime":720.4,"body":"And it's the overabundance of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":720.4,"endTime":724.72,"body":"individualism that says like,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":720.4,"endTime":724.72,"body":"oh, it's inside you, you have to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":724.72,"endTime":727.69,"body":"create belonging in yourself"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":724.72,"endTime":727.69,"body":"first, which is really not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":728.17,"endTime":733.63,"body":"accurate. It needs to be around"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":728.17,"endTime":733.63,"body":"you so that you have it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":733.63,"endTime":738.88,"body":"accessible, but then also to do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":733.63,"endTime":738.88,"body":"that work of being able to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":738.88,"endTime":742.66,"body":"receive it. And it makes me"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":738.88,"endTime":742.66,"body":"think that that makes a lot of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":742.66,"endTime":749.74,"body":"sense to find other spaces that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":742.66,"endTime":749.74,"body":"are maybe less deep and intimate"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":749.74,"endTime":752.47,"body":"to be able to start to receive"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":749.74,"endTime":752.47,"body":"that. Because one of the things"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":752.47,"endTime":755.89,"body":"that I hear a lot of people"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":752.47,"endTime":755.89,"body":"struggle with, particularly"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":755.89,"endTime":760.69,"body":"women struggle with the the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":755.89,"endTime":760.69,"body":"partner in their life,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":760.72,"endTime":767.53,"body":"oftentimes a male partner, who"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":760.72,"endTime":767.53,"body":"doesn't have that capacity to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":767.56,"endTime":770.83,"body":"give love probably has not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":767.56,"endTime":770.83,"body":"received it and has not given it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":770.83,"endTime":775.36,"body":"I read an article a while back."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":770.83,"endTime":775.36,"body":"I'll have to find it. But it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":775.36,"endTime":780.01,"body":"talks about why why do men have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":775.36,"endTime":780.01,"body":"this obsession with sex? Like,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":780.01,"endTime":785.29,"body":"what is it about that? And it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":780.01,"endTime":785.29,"body":"talks about the lack of touch?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":785.53,"endTime":790.33,"body":"Yes, that happens at a young age"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":785.53,"endTime":790.33,"body":"for boys. And it really stood"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":790.33,"endTime":795.82,"body":"out to me as a parent of two"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":790.33,"endTime":795.82,"body":"male children that like, oh, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":795.82,"endTime":799.48,"body":"wasn't giving as many hugs and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":795.82,"endTime":799.48,"body":"so this, this touch starvation"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":799.48,"endTime":804.58,"body":"such that touch is how you get"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":799.48,"endTime":804.58,"body":"like the love language like"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":804.58,"endTime":806.71,"body":"physical, not just my love"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":804.58,"endTime":806.71,"body":"language. Well, yeah, because if"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":806.71,"endTime":811.36,"body":"you haven't received it, you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":806.71,"endTime":811.36,"body":"feel a deprivation of it. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":811.36,"endTime":814.96,"body":"then it becomes correlated, in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":811.36,"endTime":814.96,"body":"your mind of like, this is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":814.96,"endTime":821.02,"body":"affection. Yes, but it's not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":814.96,"endTime":821.02,"body":"acted in a way that's truly"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":821.02,"endTime":824.17,"body":"affectionate. It's a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":821.02,"endTime":824.17,"body":"performance. It's the checkbox,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":824.32,"endTime":827.08,"body":"I did the thing. So now we need"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":824.32,"endTime":827.08,"body":"more because I'm not getting"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":827.08,"endTime":827.44,"body":"enough."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":827.68,"endTime":832.12,"body":"Yes. And men"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":827.68,"endTime":832.12,"body":"are not the only ones where,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":832.33,"endTime":836.2,"body":"especially if our primary love"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":832.33,"endTime":836.2,"body":"languages physical touch, where"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":836.2,"endTime":840.91,"body":"we wire that in with sex. So"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":836.2,"endTime":840.91,"body":"people with physical touch love"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":840.91,"endTime":846.13,"body":"languages that their primary"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":840.91,"endTime":846.13,"body":"myself included, we can equate"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":846.28,"endTime":851.47,"body":"it can be an easy shift to to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":846.28,"endTime":851.47,"body":"equate sex with love. And so"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":851.5,"endTime":856.45,"body":"there are so many men that I"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":851.5,"endTime":856.45,"body":"work with who long for"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":856.45,"endTime":862.99,"body":"affection, not connected to sex."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":856.45,"endTime":862.99,"body":"Men who want the affection that"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":862.99,"endTime":867.64,"body":"their partners offer their pets,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":862.99,"endTime":867.64,"body":"right, men who longed to be"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":867.73,"endTime":874.69,"body":"spooned and held, and we can't,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":867.73,"endTime":874.69,"body":"we haven't developed the skills"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":874.69,"endTime":881.29,"body":"and capacity to offer men"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":874.69,"endTime":881.29,"body":"affection without believing that"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":881.29,"endTime":885.43,"body":"they need and want to take it to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":881.29,"endTime":885.43,"body":"sex. And sometimes that's the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":885.46,"endTime":889.75,"body":"the internal limit that men have"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":885.46,"endTime":889.75,"body":"as well. I work with a lot of"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":889.75,"endTime":895.39,"body":"women and firms who I articulate"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":889.75,"endTime":895.39,"body":"this story this this mythology"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":895.39,"endTime":902.38,"body":"this limit. I can't hug or touch"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":895.39,"endTime":902.38,"body":"or cuddle with my partner, I"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":902.38,"endTime":906.25,"body":"can't offer them affection,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":902.38,"endTime":906.25,"body":"because they believe it's me"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":906.25,"endTime":912.88,"body":"initiating sex. So then the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":906.25,"endTime":912.88,"body":"affection gets shut down. And"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":912.88,"endTime":917.41,"body":"their partner feels neglect, and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":912.88,"endTime":917.41,"body":"they name it as sex. But it's"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":917.44,"endTime":924.67,"body":"also so much the love. They"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":917.44,"endTime":924.67,"body":"don't feel love. They don't feel"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":924.67,"endTime":930.04,"body":"cared for and don't feel wanted"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":924.67,"endTime":930.04,"body":"or seen or held or supported."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":930.37,"endTime":933.73,"body":"Because the way in which they"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":930.37,"endTime":933.73,"body":"feel that or experienced that is"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":933.73,"endTime":934.87,"body":"through physical touch."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":935.83,"endTime":937.48,"body":"Hmm. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":937.99,"endTime":940.0,"body":"Trevor Noah"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":937.99,"endTime":940.0,"body":"talks about this, too. He's"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":940.0,"endTime":943.15,"body":"like, men want sex? Maybe he"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":940.0,"endTime":943.15,"body":"read the same article you did?"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":943.78,"endTime":947.71,"body":"Probably because that's the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":943.78,"endTime":947.71,"body":"appropriate way in which men can"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":947.71,"endTime":953.71,"body":"ask to be touched. It's the only"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":947.71,"endTime":953.71,"body":"space in which it's culturally"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":953.71,"endTime":958.45,"body":"appropriate for men to ask for"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":953.71,"endTime":958.45,"body":"touch."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":959.32,"endTime":961.96,"body":"So what do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":959.32,"endTime":961.96,"body":"you do about that?"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":962.77,"endTime":964.93,"body":"I have to say"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":962.77,"endTime":964.93,"body":"the things that we just said,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":965.17,"endTime":967.78,"body":"When I work with couples and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":965.17,"endTime":967.78,"body":"individuals, one of the first"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":967.78,"endTime":972.1,"body":"things we do is work with love"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":967.78,"endTime":972.1,"body":"languages, if we're going to do"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":972.1,"endTime":977.95,"body":"more awkward, vulnerable, brave"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":972.1,"endTime":977.95,"body":"work around sex and intimacy, we"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":977.95,"endTime":983.74,"body":"want to resource into there"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":977.95,"endTime":983.74,"body":"being love between us. And so"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":984.07,"endTime":990.1,"body":"it's often pulling these apart,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":984.07,"endTime":990.1,"body":"supporting men and moc to figure"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":990.1,"endTime":994.87,"body":"out and understand that when"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":990.1,"endTime":994.87,"body":"they say they want sex, are they"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":994.87,"endTime":998.62,"body":"asking for affection? Can they"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":994.87,"endTime":998.62,"body":"separate those things out in"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":998.62,"endTime":1003.66,"body":"their own mind because sex is so"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":998.62,"endTime":1003.66,"body":"much more than physical touch,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1003.69,"endTime":1009.27,"body":"it's so much more than a"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1003.69,"endTime":1009.27,"body":"physical act. And if we go into"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1009.27,"endTime":1012.75,"body":"it, only presuming that that's"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1009.27,"endTime":1012.75,"body":"what we want out of it, we're"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1012.75,"endTime":1017.91,"body":"really putting a limit on the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1012.75,"endTime":1017.91,"body":"depth of pleasure and connection"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1017.91,"endTime":1022.86,"body":"we can experience and it's also"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1017.91,"endTime":1022.86,"body":"talking to women and femmes"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1022.92,"endTime":1027.18,"body":"about the the cultural messages"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1022.92,"endTime":1027.18,"body":"that they get around rape"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1027.18,"endTime":1032.22,"body":"culture and expectations and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1027.18,"endTime":1032.22,"body":"like a sex escalator. If I say"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1032.22,"endTime":1036.6,"body":"yes, to cuddling, I've put"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1032.22,"endTime":1036.6,"body":"myself on the escalator to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1036.6,"endTime":1041.1,"body":"saying yes to penetrative sex,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1036.6,"endTime":1041.1,"body":"and I don't feel any agency or"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1041.1,"endTime":1046.2,"body":"power to pause or say no,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1041.1,"endTime":1046.2,"body":"because I'm caretaking for my"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1046.2,"endTime":1050.49,"body":"partner's needs and wants and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1046.2,"endTime":1050.49,"body":"possibly their, their ego or"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1050.49,"endTime":1051.81,"body":"their emotions."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1052.05,"endTime":1055.32,"body":"Yeah, yeah."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1052.05,"endTime":1055.32,"body":"The the sense of rejection. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1055.32,"endTime":1060.87,"body":"the fear of causing the sense of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1055.32,"endTime":1060.87,"body":"rejection is really powerful,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1060.87,"endTime":1063.42,"body":"especially like when, when"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1060.87,"endTime":1063.42,"body":"you're somebody who cares about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1063.42,"endTime":1068.49,"body":"somebody, but also the have the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1063.42,"endTime":1068.49,"body":"caretaking, and the programming"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1068.49,"endTime":1072.45,"body":"around needing to caretake for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1068.49,"endTime":1072.45,"body":"their emotional state. Before I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1072.45,"endTime":1076.41,"body":"go further with that, you said"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1072.45,"endTime":1076.41,"body":"MOC for people who don't know,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1076.74,"endTime":1077.61,"body":"what does that mean?"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1078.63,"endTime":1081.84,"body":"What in our"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1078.63,"endTime":1081.84,"body":"gender binary, just a little bit"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1081.87,"endTime":1087.18,"body":"of nuance there. So moc stands"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1081.87,"endTime":1087.18,"body":"for masculine of center. In my"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1087.18,"endTime":1090.84,"body":"older queer days, we might call"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1087.18,"endTime":1090.84,"body":"that person but sometimes they"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1090.84,"endTime":1094.08,"body":"might still identify as Butch,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1090.84,"endTime":1094.08,"body":"but someone who might be"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1094.08,"endTime":1099.45,"body":"perceived as or, or have"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1094.08,"endTime":1099.45,"body":"identity around expressing more"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1099.45,"endTime":1106.47,"body":"masculine. For me, it's really"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1099.45,"endTime":1106.47,"body":"not how we physically express or"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1106.47,"endTime":1113.61,"body":"how we identify whether that's"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1106.47,"endTime":1113.61,"body":"male or female, men, women,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1113.97,"endTime":1118.44,"body":"femme, which being is more"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1113.97,"endTime":1118.44,"body":"feminine on that, again, side of"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1118.44,"endTime":1123.45,"body":"the scale, or MOC, masculine of"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1118.44,"endTime":1123.45,"body":"center. For me, it's really"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1123.45,"endTime":1130.74,"body":"about the energy that we all"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1123.45,"endTime":1130.74,"body":"have in offering in receiving in"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1130.74,"endTime":1136.92,"body":"requesting inviting, so we"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1130.74,"endTime":1136.92,"body":"perceive that men or masculine"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1136.92,"endTime":1140.94,"body":"energy or people who who lead in"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1136.92,"endTime":1140.94,"body":"that direction are more action"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1140.94,"endTime":1147.42,"body":"oriented, whereas women or fans"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1140.94,"endTime":1147.42,"body":"or female type energies receive"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1147.72,"endTime":1152.07,"body":"and sort of surrender. And right"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1147.72,"endTime":1152.07,"body":"now we're talking about that"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1152.07,"endTime":1161.49,"body":"nuance that men and Mo sees."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1152.07,"endTime":1161.49,"body":"They do long to receive and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1161.49,"endTime":1167.13,"body":"surrender, when it comes to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1161.49,"endTime":1167.13,"body":"affection. They do want to be"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1167.28,"endTime":1172.8,"body":"held and cared for and to soften"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1167.28,"endTime":1172.8,"body":"into their partner's touch"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1172.83,"endTime":1178.89,"body":"regardless of how their partner"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1172.83,"endTime":1178.89,"body":"expresses. And women and femmes"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1178.95,"endTime":1185.61,"body":"also want to offer those things"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1178.95,"endTime":1185.61,"body":"from a authentic place not"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1185.61,"endTime":1190.44,"body":"simply from a caretaking shore"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1185.61,"endTime":1190.44,"body":"taking you know people pleasing"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1190.44,"endTime":1196.74,"body":"parental space, but from a"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1190.44,"endTime":1196.74,"body":"deeply grounded. I want to love"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1196.74,"endTime":1201.57,"body":"you the way that that you need"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1196.74,"endTime":1201.57,"body":"to and want to feel have come"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1201.57,"endTime":1202.56,"body":"here. Let me hold you."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1203.25,"endTime":1205.59,"body":"Yeah, I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1203.25,"endTime":1205.59,"body":"hearing a lot of the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1205.59,"endTime":1208.65,"body":"conversation that we're taught"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1205.59,"endTime":1208.65,"body":"to make a lot of assumptions."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1209.01,"endTime":1212.79,"body":"Like the escalator sounds like a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1209.01,"endTime":1212.79,"body":"lot of assumptions being made"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1212.79,"endTime":1216.6,"body":"instead of actual communication"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1212.79,"endTime":1216.6,"body":"about what do you need because"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1216.6,"endTime":1222.27,"body":"of that disconnect of being able"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1216.6,"endTime":1222.27,"body":"to want what you want. Yeah. But"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1222.27,"endTime":1225.75,"body":"it's something we talked about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1222.27,"endTime":1225.75,"body":"before we started, this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1225.78,"endTime":1230.7,"body":"interview was around pain and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1225.78,"endTime":1230.7,"body":"sex. And this is a big one for a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1230.7,"endTime":1236.64,"body":"lot of people who have a lot of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1230.7,"endTime":1236.64,"body":"programming around this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1237.33,"endTime":1241.89,"body":"caretaking around the and of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1237.33,"endTime":1241.89,"body":"course, for most people around"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1241.89,"endTime":1246.33,"body":"the lack of communication. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1241.89,"endTime":1246.33,"body":"in a lot of ways I'm hearing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1246.36,"endTime":1250.77,"body":"layered into that is that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1246.36,"endTime":1250.77,"body":"disconnect from the body? Right,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1250.77,"endTime":1256.8,"body":"like, our body doesn't matter."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1250.77,"endTime":1256.8,"body":"Because and I've had these"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1256.8,"endTime":1260.16,"body":"conversations when it comes to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1256.8,"endTime":1260.16,"body":"work, and the pressures around"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1260.16,"endTime":1263.49,"body":"like, basically not being"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1260.16,"endTime":1263.49,"body":"allowed to be human. And such a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1263.52,"endTime":1267.99,"body":"human component is our body, we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1263.52,"endTime":1267.99,"body":"don't get to be tired, we don't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1267.99,"endTime":1272.91,"body":"get to need rest, we don't get"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1267.99,"endTime":1272.91,"body":"to have those things. And it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1272.91,"endTime":1276.42,"body":"sounds like there's which it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1272.91,"endTime":1276.42,"body":"makes a lot of sense, a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1276.54,"endTime":1280.53,"body":"relationship between, we don't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1276.54,"endTime":1280.53,"body":"get to have pleasure, we don't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1280.53,"endTime":1285.63,"body":"get to really be embodied. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1280.53,"endTime":1285.63,"body":"how could we know how to do that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1285.63,"endTime":1288.69,"body":"naturally, if so many things in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1285.63,"endTime":1288.69,"body":"our world are pulling us away"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1288.69,"endTime":1293.61,"body":"from being in our body and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1288.69,"endTime":1293.61,"body":"pushing us to ignore pain in our"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1293.61,"endTime":1299.79,"body":"body. And so how do you see that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1293.61,"endTime":1299.79,"body":"playing out in these intimate"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1299.79,"endTime":1301.17,"body":"relationships?"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1302.64,"endTime":1304.77,"body":"Yeah, you I"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1302.64,"endTime":1304.77,"body":"mean, you're naming the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1304.77,"endTime":1309.63,"body":"connection between letting go of"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1304.77,"endTime":1309.63,"body":"the body ignoring the body"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1309.66,"endTime":1314.73,"body":"coming up and out of the body,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1309.66,"endTime":1314.73,"body":"in business, and the ways in it,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1314.82,"endTime":1319.08,"body":"it affects us during sex and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1314.82,"endTime":1319.08,"body":"intimacy. All of these are"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1319.08,"endTime":1323.49,"body":"limits put on us by white"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1319.08,"endTime":1323.49,"body":"supremacy by capitalism, by"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1323.52,"endTime":1327.51,"body":"forces of oppression and systems"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1323.52,"endTime":1327.51,"body":"of oppression that don't want us"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1327.9,"endTime":1332.94,"body":"to honor our body, acknowledge"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1327.9,"endTime":1332.94,"body":"our body, and be present with"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1332.94,"endTime":1341.61,"body":"ourselves or with others. So"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1332.94,"endTime":1341.61,"body":"pain is the biggest way the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1341.61,"endTime":1347.94,"body":"loudest way that our body can"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1341.61,"endTime":1347.94,"body":"get our attention. And if we"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1347.94,"endTime":1354.18,"body":"bypass pain, our body either"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1347.94,"endTime":1354.18,"body":"tends to find another way to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1354.18,"endTime":1359.61,"body":"signal pain, or it begins to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1354.18,"endTime":1359.61,"body":"shut down and to numb. And it"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1359.61,"endTime":1366.75,"body":"doesn't do that. It doesn't do"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1359.61,"endTime":1366.75,"body":"that in a clean way, it begins"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1366.75,"endTime":1375.12,"body":"to full systems shut down. So"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1366.75,"endTime":1375.12,"body":"I'll draw broad strokes. If I'm"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1375.12,"endTime":1378.72,"body":"experiencing vaginal pain with"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1375.12,"endTime":1378.72,"body":"my partner, but I'm caretaking"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1378.72,"endTime":1382.11,"body":"for our connection or the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1378.72,"endTime":1382.11,"body":"perception of our connection,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1382.11,"endTime":1386.82,"body":"I'm caretaking for their"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1382.11,"endTime":1386.82,"body":"emotions, their ego. I think"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1386.82,"endTime":1391.98,"body":"that it's important to have sex,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1386.82,"endTime":1391.98,"body":"even if I if I'm in pain, I"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1391.98,"endTime":1397.17,"body":"might begin to have other forms"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1391.98,"endTime":1397.17,"body":"of pain if I'm not listening to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1397.17,"endTime":1401.52,"body":"the pain that I'm experiencing"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1397.17,"endTime":1401.52,"body":"during penetration. So maybe"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1401.52,"endTime":1405.66,"body":"that shows up as yeast"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1401.52,"endTime":1405.66,"body":"infections, or UTIs, urinary"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1405.66,"endTime":1412.2,"body":"tract infections, maybe that"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1405.66,"endTime":1412.2,"body":"shows up as digestive problems."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1412.74,"endTime":1420.66,"body":"Maybe it shifts into autoimmune"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1412.74,"endTime":1420.66,"body":"flare ups that don't seem to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1420.66,"endTime":1425.1,"body":"have any particular cause. My"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1420.66,"endTime":1425.1,"body":"body is trying to get my"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1425.1,"endTime":1433.59,"body":"attention. My body is asking for"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1425.1,"endTime":1433.59,"body":"me to pay attention and to pause"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1433.62,"endTime":1439.02,"body":"to stop to reconsider. And if it"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1433.62,"endTime":1439.02,"body":"doesn't escalate or"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1439.47,"endTime":1444.81,"body":"differentiate the type of pain,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1439.47,"endTime":1444.81,"body":"it can begin to numb in general."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1445.53,"endTime":1450.6,"body":"So I'm not feeling any"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1445.53,"endTime":1450.6,"body":"sensation. With regards to pain"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1450.63,"endTime":1455.76,"body":"with regards to penetration or"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1450.63,"endTime":1455.76,"body":"sex, my libido begins to shut"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1455.76,"endTime":1459.87,"body":"down completely. I don't begin"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1455.76,"endTime":1459.87,"body":"to experience desire or arousal."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1460.17,"endTime":1464.4,"body":"I don't begin to experience even"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1460.17,"endTime":1464.4,"body":"sensations of love toward my"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1464.4,"endTime":1469.86,"body":"partner, because my body begins"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1464.4,"endTime":1469.86,"body":"to see oh, if we are having pain"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1469.86,"endTime":1473.7,"body":"with my partner, then we're"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1469.86,"endTime":1473.7,"body":"going to shut down all sensation"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1474.06,"endTime":1479.37,"body":"to my partner. Because I'm not"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1474.06,"endTime":1479.37,"body":"listening to the pain. I'm not"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1479.37,"endTime":1482.22,"body":"addressing it. I'm not pausing."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1479.37,"endTime":1482.22,"body":"I'm not stopping I'm not"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1482.22,"endTime":1487.68,"body":"shifting. So these are broad"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1482.22,"endTime":1487.68,"body":"brushstrokes, they're not"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1487.74,"endTime":1492.75,"body":"causal. And we can begin to see"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1487.74,"endTime":1492.75,"body":"the ways in which our body is"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1492.75,"endTime":1499.74,"body":"really asking us to pay"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1492.75,"endTime":1499.74,"body":"attention trying to get our our"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1499.74,"endTime":1505.83,"body":"attention Incheon, when we're"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1499.74,"endTime":1505.83,"body":"not listening, yeah, it's"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1505.83,"endTime":1509.04,"body":"speaking to us about its limits."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1505.83,"endTime":1509.04,"body":"Right?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1510.36,"endTime":1514.2,"body":"Absolutely."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1510.36,"endTime":1514.2,"body":"That makes a lot of sense. What"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1514.2,"endTime":1516.63,"body":"does it look like to start to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1514.2,"endTime":1516.63,"body":"address that?"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1517.62,"endTime":1521.61,"body":"It's a whole"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1517.62,"endTime":1521.61,"body":"bunch of addressing the unspoken"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1521.88,"endTime":1527.55,"body":"stories, expectations and limits"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1521.88,"endTime":1527.55,"body":"that we've put on our sex on our"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1527.55,"endTime":1531.33,"body":"intimacy on our understanding of"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1527.55,"endTime":1531.33,"body":"what's possible. One of the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1531.33,"endTime":1536.43,"body":"first things I do with clients"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1531.33,"endTime":1536.43,"body":"is to invite them to shift sex"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1537.18,"endTime":1540.6,"body":"into whatever that means or"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1537.18,"endTime":1540.6,"body":"looks like for them into"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1540.6,"endTime":1545.76,"body":"experiencing the most amount of"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1540.6,"endTime":1545.76,"body":"pleasure possible. So sometimes"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1545.76,"endTime":1548.37,"body":"that doesn't mean any"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1545.76,"endTime":1548.37,"body":"penetration. Sometimes that"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1548.37,"endTime":1553.14,"body":"doesn't mean orgasm. Sometimes"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1548.37,"endTime":1553.14,"body":"that means a different style, or"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1553.14,"endTime":1557.73,"body":"a different pace, or different"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1553.14,"endTime":1557.73,"body":"act or different expression. One"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1557.73,"endTime":1562.02,"body":"of my favorite ways of shifting"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1557.73,"endTime":1562.02,"body":"that is to focus less on"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1562.05,"endTime":1567.87,"body":"sexuality and more on"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1562.05,"endTime":1567.87,"body":"sensuality. For a lot of women"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1567.87,"endTime":1573.45,"body":"and femmes where sex looks fast,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1567.87,"endTime":1573.45,"body":"it looks hard, it looks short,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1574.35,"endTime":1578.88,"body":"what might it look like to slow"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1574.35,"endTime":1578.88,"body":"that down, and for there to be a"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1578.88,"endTime":1585.36,"body":"more sensual flavor or tone or"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1578.88,"endTime":1585.36,"body":"energy. And that's not for every"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1585.36,"endTime":1589.62,"body":"woman and femme. And it does"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1585.36,"endTime":1589.62,"body":"seem to resonate, for those of"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1589.62,"endTime":1594.57,"body":"us who may be older, or may have"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1589.62,"endTime":1594.57,"body":"a child or children, maybe have"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1594.57,"endTime":1598.53,"body":"our own business, maybe haven't"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1594.57,"endTime":1598.53,"body":"been listening to our body and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1598.53,"endTime":1605.01,"body":"do need some sort of signal,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1598.53,"endTime":1605.01,"body":"some sort of, of mantra to slow"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1605.01,"endTime":1611.1,"body":"down and be in our body and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1605.01,"endTime":1611.1,"body":"sensuality can evoke that."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1612.12,"endTime":1618.18,"body":"Yeah, it seems like I mean,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1612.12,"endTime":1618.18,"body":"another piece of this has to do"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1618.18,"endTime":1620.7,"body":"with just how busy everything"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1618.18,"endTime":1620.7,"body":"is, because I know, as a parent"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1620.7,"endTime":1624.18,"body":"myself, and having those"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1620.7,"endTime":1624.18,"body":"conversations are like, well,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1624.18,"endTime":1627.21,"body":"you know, they say schedule in"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1624.18,"endTime":1627.21,"body":"sex, you know, kind of like what"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1627.21,"endTime":1629.07,"body":"you were saying before, like"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1627.21,"endTime":1629.07,"body":"schedule it in, because"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1629.07,"endTime":1631.59,"body":"otherwise you won't make room"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1629.07,"endTime":1631.59,"body":"for it. And it's like, well,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1631.59,"endTime":1635.88,"body":"yeah, because we are pushed to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1631.59,"endTime":1635.88,"body":"do all of these things, and be"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1635.88,"endTime":1639.09,"body":"all these places, like that idea"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1635.88,"endTime":1639.09,"body":"of pausing, is something I talk"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1639.12,"endTime":1645.48,"body":"about constantly. Because we"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1639.12,"endTime":1645.48,"body":"just don't do it naturally, any"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1645.48,"endTime":1649.89,"body":"more we might have if we hadn't"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1645.48,"endTime":1649.89,"body":"been conditioned, not to pause"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1649.89,"endTime":1654.03,"body":"not to listen, not to pay"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1649.89,"endTime":1654.03,"body":"attention. And so those ideas of"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1654.42,"endTime":1659.07,"body":"self care, I've had so many"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1654.42,"endTime":1659.07,"body":"clients who have been like, I"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1659.07,"endTime":1664.32,"body":"know, I need to self care more."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1659.07,"endTime":1664.32,"body":"But I just it's always the last"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1664.32,"endTime":1667.11,"body":"thing that I do, especially when"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1664.32,"endTime":1667.11,"body":"I'm stressed out, especially"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1667.11,"endTime":1670.89,"body":"when I'm busy. And so we'll talk"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1667.11,"endTime":1670.89,"body":"about community care, which I"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1670.89,"endTime":1675.96,"body":"think ties into what you were"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1670.89,"endTime":1675.96,"body":"saying about that belonging and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1675.96,"endTime":1679.59,"body":"that receiving, when you're so"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1675.96,"endTime":1679.59,"body":"busy giving all the time you get"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1679.59,"endTime":1683.97,"body":"into this autopilot, and it's"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1679.59,"endTime":1683.97,"body":"hard to receive. What does it"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1684.0,"endTime":1694.32,"body":"look like for someone to learn"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1684.0,"endTime":1694.32,"body":"that space of well, taking space"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1694.41,"endTime":1697.02,"body":"really allowing them so I feel"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1694.41,"endTime":1697.02,"body":"like there's a there's a core"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1697.02,"endTime":1701.16,"body":"piece of this of allowing"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1697.02,"endTime":1701.16,"body":"yourself to take up space."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1702.18,"endTime":1708.69,"body":"So I've created something called"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1702.18,"endTime":1708.69,"body":"a sex practice. And this takes"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1708.9,"endTime":1713.52,"body":"the good things of scheduling"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1708.9,"endTime":1713.52,"body":"sex and date nights, and sets"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1713.52,"endTime":1717.78,"body":"down the really awful parts of"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1713.52,"endTime":1717.78,"body":"scheduling, sex, and date"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1717.78,"endTime":1722.91,"body":"nights. And I should probably"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1717.78,"endTime":1722.91,"body":"talk about it more because it"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1722.97,"endTime":1729.69,"body":"does, combined where we are in"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1722.97,"endTime":1729.69,"body":"time, and capitalism and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1729.69,"endTime":1736.41,"body":"modernity, with where we need to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1729.69,"endTime":1736.41,"body":"go. So a sex practice is a"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1736.41,"endTime":1741.15,"body":"conscious and intentional,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1736.41,"endTime":1741.15,"body":"scheduled ritual of coming"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1741.15,"endTime":1746.22,"body":"together with our partner with"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1741.15,"endTime":1746.22,"body":"the intention of experiencing"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1746.22,"endTime":1750.84,"body":"sex or with the experience of,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1746.22,"endTime":1750.84,"body":"of with the intention of"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1750.84,"endTime":1755.97,"body":"experiencing naked pleasure"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1750.84,"endTime":1755.97,"body":"together. So when we set up a"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1755.97,"endTime":1760.68,"body":"sex practice, usually it can be,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1755.97,"endTime":1760.68,"body":"you know, 15 minutes once a"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1760.68,"endTime":1765.39,"body":"week. It's kind of like a for"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1760.68,"endTime":1765.39,"body":"those of us who have had a yoga"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1765.39,"endTime":1768.09,"body":"practice or a meditation"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1765.39,"endTime":1768.09,"body":"practice. You know, in the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1768.09,"endTime":1770.64,"body":"Western world, we don't we don't"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1768.09,"endTime":1770.64,"body":"do these very well, we think"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1770.64,"endTime":1775.29,"body":"it's a linear process. And we"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1770.64,"endTime":1775.29,"body":"need to start with what's"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1775.29,"endTime":1778.08,"body":"familiar to us and what can"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1775.29,"endTime":1778.08,"body":"work,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1778.38,"endTime":1779.25,"body":"Baby steps."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1779.49,"endTime":1781.65,"body":"Baby steps."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1779.49,"endTime":1781.65,"body":"Yeah, we're meeting ourselves"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1781.68,"endTime":1785.82,"body":"where we're at. So that's why I"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1781.68,"endTime":1785.82,"body":"call it a sex practice. That's"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1785.82,"endTime":1790.92,"body":"why everybody can like okay, I"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1785.82,"endTime":1790.92,"body":"got it. So ideally, we schedule"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1790.98,"endTime":1795.81,"body":"one hour, once a week together,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1790.98,"endTime":1795.81,"body":"where we put it on the calendar,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1796.32,"endTime":1800.49,"body":"and we take everything else off."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1796.32,"endTime":1800.49,"body":"We figure out What to do with"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1800.49,"endTime":1803.64,"body":"the pets, we figure out what to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1800.49,"endTime":1803.64,"body":"do with the kids, maybe it's"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1803.64,"endTime":1807.6,"body":"like, hey, during this hour, the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1803.64,"endTime":1807.6,"body":"kids are watching a movie, or"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1807.6,"endTime":1812.16,"body":"the kids are with the neighbors,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1807.6,"endTime":1812.16,"body":"but it's on the schedule. We're"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1812.16,"endTime":1818.61,"body":"creating a ritual around it. And"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1812.16,"endTime":1818.61,"body":"then when we begin our sex"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1818.61,"endTime":1822.78,"body":"practice, and usually I really"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1818.61,"endTime":1822.78,"body":"love to set a timer so that we"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1822.78,"endTime":1826.98,"body":"know, hey, we're doing this"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1822.78,"endTime":1826.98,"body":"consciously, intentionally,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1826.98,"endTime":1831.33,"body":"purposely together, for 60"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1826.98,"endTime":1831.33,"body":"minutes, somebody set a timer."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1832.11,"endTime":1838.62,"body":"So maybe this looks like we go"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1832.11,"endTime":1838.62,"body":"into the bedroom. And we shift"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1838.77,"endTime":1844.74,"body":"the PAs, we set down the pants,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1838.77,"endTime":1844.74,"body":"and the kids and the work. And"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1844.74,"endTime":1847.71,"body":"the domesticity. This is"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1844.74,"endTime":1847.71,"body":"something I do with all of my"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1847.71,"endTime":1851.37,"body":"clients at the beginning of each"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1847.71,"endTime":1851.37,"body":"of our sessions, so that we have"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1851.37,"endTime":1858.27,"body":"practice of what does it look"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1851.37,"endTime":1858.27,"body":"like to shift away from what we"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1858.3,"endTime":1863.79,"body":"want to set down and to welcome"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1858.3,"endTime":1863.79,"body":"what we want to focus on? How do"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1863.79,"endTime":1867.03,"body":"we do that? What does it feel"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1863.79,"endTime":1867.03,"body":"like? And then what does it feel"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1867.03,"endTime":1871.23,"body":"like when we don't do it? And so"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1867.03,"endTime":1871.23,"body":"we're in session building these"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1871.23,"endTime":1874.95,"body":"skills and these capacities and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1871.23,"endTime":1874.95,"body":"the discernment of what happens"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1874.95,"endTime":1878.19,"body":"when we do it and when we don't"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1874.95,"endTime":1878.19,"body":"do it. So when we're doing this,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1878.19,"endTime":1882.48,"body":"together with our partner,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1878.19,"endTime":1882.48,"body":"together are like, okay, let's"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1882.48,"endTime":1886.14,"body":"sit down this, sit down this,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1882.48,"endTime":1886.14,"body":"let's come into our bodies,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1886.14,"endTime":1889.02,"body":"let's come into the present"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1886.14,"endTime":1889.02,"body":"moment, let's connect to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1889.02,"endTime":1893.07,"body":"ourselves so that we might"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1889.02,"endTime":1893.07,"body":"connect to each other. And then"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1893.07,"endTime":1896.85,"body":"we actually begin to have the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1893.07,"endTime":1896.85,"body":"exploration internally and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1896.85,"endTime":1903.57,"body":"together. What is it we need to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1896.85,"endTime":1903.57,"body":"address or talk about or do on"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1903.57,"endTime":1910.23,"body":"the path toward experiencing sex"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1903.57,"endTime":1910.23,"body":"together? For both of us to feel"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1910.23,"endTime":1915.63,"body":"good. So in my personal practice"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1910.23,"endTime":1915.63,"body":"of this, it might look like"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1915.66,"endTime":1919.74,"body":"three weeks of us having"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1915.66,"endTime":1919.74,"body":"conversations, hey, you really"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1919.74,"endTime":1924.48,"body":"hurt me when you said this the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1919.74,"endTime":1924.48,"body":"other day, or I am swamped at"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1924.48,"endTime":1929.58,"body":"work, we need to make some"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1924.48,"endTime":1929.58,"body":"changes, or I just don't feel"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1929.58,"endTime":1934.05,"body":"connected to my body. I've been"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1929.58,"endTime":1934.05,"body":"sick. So I really need to rest."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1934.08,"endTime":1937.5,"body":"Can we rest together? What does"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1934.08,"endTime":1937.5,"body":"that look like? Could you care"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1937.5,"endTime":1942.15,"body":"for me in this moment? Could you"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1937.5,"endTime":1942.15,"body":"wrap your arms around me? So"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1942.15,"endTime":1947.79,"body":"that we're addressing? What are"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1942.15,"endTime":1947.79,"body":"the things that would support us"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1947.94,"endTime":1951.45,"body":"to feel connected to ourselves"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1947.94,"endTime":1951.45,"body":"and to one another? Not so we"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1951.45,"endTime":1957.03,"body":"can have sex in that very"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1951.45,"endTime":1957.03,"body":"moment? And so we're consciously"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1957.03,"endTime":1960.87,"body":"building that over time, so that"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1957.03,"endTime":1960.87,"body":"we have the moment and say the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1960.87,"endTime":1963.99,"body":"fourth, the fourth meeting in"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1960.87,"endTime":1963.99,"body":"the fourth week, the fourth sex"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1963.99,"endTime":1969.9,"body":"practice to actually experience"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1963.99,"endTime":1969.9,"body":"sex together? Yeah. So we're,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1970.11,"endTime":1974.07,"body":"we're putting, we're putting the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1970.11,"endTime":1974.07,"body":"intention there. It's not a"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1974.07,"endTime":1979.02,"body":"goal. When we schedule sex, what"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1974.07,"endTime":1979.02,"body":"we're saying to ourselves and to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1979.02,"endTime":1982.74,"body":"one another, as we are going to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1979.02,"endTime":1982.74,"body":"have sex at 7pm on set Saturday,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1983.31,"endTime":1989.13,"body":"whether we like it or not. And"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1983.31,"endTime":1989.13,"body":"we're bypassing our bodies."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1990.57,"endTime":1996.24,"body":"Pleasure, availability,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1990.57,"endTime":1996.24,"body":"openness, desire. We're doing a"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1996.24,"endTime":2002.27,"body":"checkbox, right. So instead of"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":1996.24,"endTime":2002.27,"body":"that being the goal, like, the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2002.27,"endTime":2005.0,"body":"goal is we're gonna have sex on"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2002.27,"endTime":2005.0,"body":"Saturday, we have sex once a"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2005.0,"endTime":2009.98,"body":"week. Awesome. We're good. We're"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2005.0,"endTime":2009.98,"body":"shifting from a goal to an"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2009.98,"endTime":2014.87,"body":"intention, our sex practice, we"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2009.98,"endTime":2014.87,"body":"create, we co create together"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2014.87,"endTime":2019.37,"body":"with the intention of moving"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2014.87,"endTime":2019.37,"body":"toward sex of moving toward"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2020.0,"endTime":2020.66,"body":"Hmm."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2020.12,"endTime":2020.66,"body":"pleasure."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2022.37,"endTime":2024.68,"body":"Yeah. And we"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2022.37,"endTime":2024.68,"body":"are addressing what needs to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2024.68,"endTime":2028.67,"body":"happen on the way to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2024.68,"endTime":2028.67,"body":"experiencing that."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2029.0,"endTime":2034.37,"body":"Yeah. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2029.0,"endTime":2034.37,"body":"that makes a lot of sense in one"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2034.37,"endTime":2038.57,"body":"of the things that I will often"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2034.37,"endTime":2038.57,"body":"look at is that idea of you so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2038.57,"endTime":2041.69,"body":"often, we're, we're chasing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2038.57,"endTime":2041.69,"body":"something. And we think once we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2041.69,"endTime":2046.67,"body":"have this thing, then we'll be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2041.69,"endTime":2046.67,"body":"this person. And you know, like,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2046.67,"endTime":2049.25,"body":"once we do this, then we'll have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2046.67,"endTime":2049.25,"body":"this and then we'll be this and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2049.25,"endTime":2053.54,"body":"it's very opposite what is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2049.25,"endTime":2053.54,"body":"actually true, which is, who do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2053.54,"endTime":2057.02,"body":"you want to be? How do you want"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2053.54,"endTime":2057.02,"body":"to show up? What do you want to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2057.02,"endTime":2062.57,"body":"experience? How do you want to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2057.02,"endTime":2062.57,"body":"feel? Right? And so to be able"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2062.57,"endTime":2069.8,"body":"to center that is what I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2062.57,"endTime":2069.8,"body":"hearing in the relationship. So"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2069.8,"endTime":2073.58,"body":"in a instead of that broad"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2069.8,"endTime":2073.58,"body":"picture, that micro caused them"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2073.58,"endTime":2076.88,"body":"picture of your relationship to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2073.58,"endTime":2076.88,"body":"sit down and really allow that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2076.88,"endTime":2081.2,"body":"connection. And that I'm sure"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2076.88,"endTime":2081.2,"body":"brings up a lot of interesting"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2081.41,"endTime":2086.3,"body":"challenges. Like you realize"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2081.41,"endTime":2086.3,"body":"what's in the way it's almost"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2086.3,"endTime":2089.51,"body":"like a little experiment of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2086.3,"endTime":2089.51,"body":"Okay, let's try not paying"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2089.51,"endTime":2093.11,"body":"attention to this. Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2089.51,"endTime":2093.11,"body":"then we can figure out better"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2093.11,"endTime":2097.25,"body":"well, what what allows us to do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2093.11,"endTime":2097.25,"body":"that what works here? How does"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2097.25,"endTime":2101.12,"body":"this look and have those"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2097.25,"endTime":2101.12,"body":"conversations That seems so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2101.12,"endTime":2103.85,"body":"critical. Like sometimes we can"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2101.12,"endTime":2103.85,"body":"do a little gymnastics in our"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2103.85,"endTime":2107.45,"body":"head of you mentioned before the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2103.85,"endTime":2107.45,"body":"spooning component. And I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2107.45,"endTime":2111.41,"body":"remember early on in my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2107.45,"endTime":2111.41,"body":"relationship with my husband, we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2111.41,"endTime":2117.59,"body":"had had sex, and then we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2111.41,"endTime":2117.59,"body":"realigned together and he rolled"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2117.59,"endTime":2122.93,"body":"the opposite way. And I felt so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2117.59,"endTime":2122.93,"body":"rejected. I was like, He's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2122.93,"endTime":2126.44,"body":"turning his back on me. We're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2122.93,"endTime":2126.44,"body":"just That's it, we're done. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2126.44,"endTime":2130.61,"body":"of course, that triggered other"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2126.44,"endTime":2130.61,"body":"traumatic, intimate experiences"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2130.61,"endTime":2133.37,"body":"that I had. But it suddenly"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2130.61,"endTime":2133.37,"body":"occurred to me while I was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2133.37,"endTime":2135.92,"body":"laying there in my way, oh, no,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2133.37,"endTime":2135.92,"body":"everything was off. I was like,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2136.73,"endTime":2142.28,"body":"maybe he wants me to snuggle"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2136.73,"endTime":2142.28,"body":"him? Like, Why does it always"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2142.28,"endTime":2146.78,"body":"have to be him snuggling me? Why"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2142.28,"endTime":2146.78,"body":"can't I snuggle him? And it hit"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2146.78,"endTime":2150.74,"body":"me. I was like, oh, maybe he"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2146.78,"endTime":2150.74,"body":"feels rejected. And I don't just"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2150.74,"endTime":2154.1,"body":"automatically curl around him"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2150.74,"endTime":2154.1,"body":"when he does that. And then that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2154.1,"endTime":2157.46,"body":"was true. I curled around him"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2154.1,"endTime":2157.46,"body":"and he just kind of snuggled up,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2157.49,"endTime":2160.1,"body":"it was clear that that's, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2157.49,"endTime":2160.1,"body":"don't know, if it was a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2160.28,"endTime":2163.19,"body":"conscious thought. But that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2160.28,"endTime":2163.19,"body":"allowed that intimacy to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2163.19,"endTime":2167.36,"body":"continue, it never occurred to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2163.19,"endTime":2167.36,"body":"me until that moment, that you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2167.36,"endTime":2171.38,"body":"could shift that. And so yeah,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2167.36,"endTime":2171.38,"body":"there are certain things that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2171.38,"endTime":2174.71,"body":"you can do internally, but also"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2171.38,"endTime":2174.71,"body":"to be able to have those"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2174.71,"endTime":2177.74,"body":"conversations of what do you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2174.71,"endTime":2177.74,"body":"need to take it out of the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2177.74,"endTime":2180.53,"body":"mental space of, you know, I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2177.74,"endTime":2180.53,"body":"gonna think what you think what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2180.53,"endTime":2183.41,"body":"I think let's actually have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2180.53,"endTime":2183.41,"body":"those conversations. That's a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2183.41,"endTime":2185.27,"body":"really powerful practice."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2185.48,"endTime":2188.69,"body":"Yeah, well,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2185.48,"endTime":2188.69,"body":"it's one, when we have the date"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2188.69,"endTime":2192.83,"body":"nights, the kind of general"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2188.69,"endTime":2192.83,"body":"understanding is, oh, we're"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2192.83,"endTime":2195.29,"body":"having a date night. So we can"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2192.83,"endTime":2195.29,"body":"spend some time connecting,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2195.29,"endTime":2199.82,"body":"right? The unconscious"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2195.29,"endTime":2199.82,"body":"expectation is, so we can have"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2199.82,"endTime":2204.71,"body":"sex, we want to put that front"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2199.82,"endTime":2204.71,"body":"and center and begin to be more"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2204.77,"endTime":2209.87,"body":"open about the unconscious"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2204.77,"endTime":2209.87,"body":"expectations. So that, hey, we"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2209.87,"endTime":2215.09,"body":"can have a sex practice, where"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2209.87,"endTime":2215.09,"body":"the intention is naked pleasure"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2215.09,"endTime":2221.9,"body":"together. And we can also have"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2215.09,"endTime":2221.9,"body":"date nights, or go out together,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2222.32,"endTime":2226.13,"body":"where we're just enjoying each"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2222.32,"endTime":2226.13,"body":"other's time. And maybe in the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2226.13,"endTime":2230.48,"body":"sex practice, were illuminating,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2226.13,"endTime":2230.48,"body":"hey, I want to just enjoy time"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2230.48,"endTime":2234.29,"body":"together without there being"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2230.48,"endTime":2234.29,"body":"pressure of feeling like we have"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2234.29,"endTime":2235.91,"body":"to connect so we can have sex,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2236.15,"endTime":2238.07,"body":"Or have sex"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2236.15,"endTime":2238.07,"body":"so that we can connect,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2238.19,"endTime":2242.27,"body":"Correct or have"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2238.19,"endTime":2242.27,"body":"sex so that I can feel physical"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2242.27,"endTime":2247.4,"body":"touch and feel loved. So it's"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2242.27,"endTime":2247.4,"body":"about disrupting sort of the sex"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2247.55,"endTime":2253.4,"body":"escalator of this is going here."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2247.55,"endTime":2253.4,"body":"It's like, Okay, do we both"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2253.58,"endTime":2257.42,"body":"want? Can we just start there?"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2253.58,"endTime":2257.42,"body":"We both want to have a sexual"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2257.42,"endTime":2262.82,"body":"relationship. Is that important?"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2257.42,"endTime":2262.82,"body":"Do we want to advocate for it?"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2264.08,"endTime":2271.28,"body":"If so, can we put 30 minutes on"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2264.08,"endTime":2271.28,"body":"the calendar? Once a week? We're"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2271.28,"endTime":2275.54,"body":"creating the opportunity. And"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2271.28,"endTime":2275.54,"body":"then those 30 minutes are also"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2275.54,"endTime":2281.6,"body":"about cultivating the energy."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2275.54,"endTime":2281.6,"body":"What supports both of us to move"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2281.6,"endTime":2284.6,"body":"towards sexual intimacy"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2281.6,"endTime":2284.6,"body":"together? Is that emotional"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2284.6,"endTime":2288.98,"body":"intimacy? Is it affection? Is it"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2284.6,"endTime":2288.98,"body":"physical intimacy? Is it"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2288.98,"endTime":2293.21,"body":"something spiritual, something"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2288.98,"endTime":2293.21,"body":"mental, like? What are the ways"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2293.21,"endTime":2298.94,"body":"in which we begin to accelerate"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2293.21,"endTime":2298.94,"body":"and move toward sexual pleasure,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2298.94,"endTime":2302.06,"body":"sexual intimacy, sexual"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2298.94,"endTime":2302.06,"body":"connection, sexual expression?"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2302.99,"endTime":2306.98,"body":"And yeah, it becomes a Spearman."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2302.99,"endTime":2306.98,"body":"Yeah, so one of the other things"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2306.98,"endTime":2310.16,"body":"I do talk to people about were"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2306.98,"endTime":2310.16,"body":"in your life, Are you creative?"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2310.16,"endTime":2314.75,"body":"Or have you been creative or in"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2310.16,"endTime":2314.75,"body":"flow? So is that an art? Is that"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2314.75,"endTime":2319.04,"body":"in sports? Is that in running?"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2314.75,"endTime":2319.04,"body":"Is it in gardening? Is it in"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2319.04,"endTime":2324.8,"body":"painting? Where are you in"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2319.04,"endTime":2324.8,"body":"creative flow? Because that is"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2324.8,"endTime":2332.42,"body":"much more what we want with"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2324.8,"endTime":2332.42,"body":"sacks. When we say we want sex,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2332.45,"endTime":2335.84,"body":"we're not oftentimes saying we"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2332.45,"endTime":2335.84,"body":"want connection and pleasure"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2335.84,"endTime":2339.89,"body":"with our partner, we're actually"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2335.84,"endTime":2339.89,"body":"saying, I want to be in my body"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2339.92,"endTime":2347.21,"body":"and present and feel connected"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2339.92,"endTime":2347.21,"body":"to something deeper than the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2347.21,"endTime":2356.42,"body":"chaos of, you know, work and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2347.21,"endTime":2356.42,"body":"kids and surviving. So we can"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2356.42,"endTime":2358.58,"body":"often feel that way when we're"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2356.42,"endTime":2358.58,"body":"being creative when we're"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2358.58,"endTime":2362.99,"body":"writing, painting, drawing,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2358.58,"endTime":2362.99,"body":"strumming a guitar, playing"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2362.99,"endTime":2368.87,"body":"sports, and you have to set"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2362.99,"endTime":2368.87,"body":"aside time to do that. And"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2369.23,"endTime":2372.32,"body":"everyone fills that time with"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2369.23,"endTime":2372.32,"body":"something different some"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2372.41,"endTime":2377.42,"body":"process, you know, are we"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2372.41,"endTime":2377.42,"body":"practicing chords? Are we"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2377.42,"endTime":2382.13,"body":"sketching something specific? So"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2377.42,"endTime":2382.13,"body":"that's the mindset that has to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2382.13,"endTime":2387.47,"body":"be invited within our Sachs"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2382.13,"endTime":2387.47,"body":"practice to when we're in in"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2387.47,"endTime":2390.62,"body":"committed long term"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2387.47,"endTime":2390.62,"body":"relationships where it doesn't"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2390.65,"endTime":2395.18,"body":"organically spontaneously"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2390.65,"endTime":2395.18,"body":"happen. We have to co create and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2395.18,"endTime":2400.46,"body":"cultivate it intentionally, and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2395.18,"endTime":2400.46,"body":"consciously, but not so force"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2400.55,"endTime":2404.06,"body":"and push it like a chore like a"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2400.55,"endTime":2404.06,"body":"checklist."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2404.42,"endTime":2407.36,"body":"Yeah. It"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2404.42,"endTime":2407.36,"body":"makes me think as you're talking"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2407.36,"endTime":2409.7,"body":"about that in flow, one of the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2407.36,"endTime":2409.7,"body":"things that came up for me"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2409.7,"endTime":2414.02,"body":"recently, as you know, over"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2409.7,"endTime":2414.02,"body":"time, things have shifted and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2414.02,"endTime":2417.74,"body":"moved. And we have our date"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2414.02,"endTime":2417.74,"body":"night, where we just hang out"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2417.74,"endTime":2420.23,"body":"and spend time together. And I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2417.74,"endTime":2420.23,"body":"always miss it if that doesn't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2420.23,"endTime":2423.14,"body":"happen, what I realized more"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2420.23,"endTime":2423.14,"body":"recently, one of the other"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2423.14,"endTime":2428.63,"body":"pieces of that is co creation,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2423.14,"endTime":2428.63,"body":"together, working on a project"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2428.81,"endTime":2433.07,"body":"together, even just going to the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2428.81,"endTime":2433.07,"body":"grocery store together, where it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2433.07,"endTime":2437.27,"body":"feels like we're working"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2433.07,"endTime":2437.27,"body":"together, we're in partnership,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2437.63,"endTime":2441.8,"body":"in our daily life. Yes, not just"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2437.63,"endTime":2441.8,"body":"okay, you do this, and you get"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2442.04,"endTime":2444.8,"body":"that done, you check that box"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2442.04,"endTime":2444.8,"body":"and you check that box. It's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2444.8,"endTime":2447.26,"body":"like we're working together,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2444.8,"endTime":2447.26,"body":"even if it's the things that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2447.26,"endTime":2450.95,"body":"have to get done, that creates"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2447.26,"endTime":2450.95,"body":"that sense of connection, which"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2450.95,"endTime":2454.7,"body":"builds into the intimacy that we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2450.95,"endTime":2454.7,"body":"have, and the ability to have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2454.7,"endTime":2457.79,"body":"the conversations about stuff"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2454.7,"endTime":2457.79,"body":"that comes up, because that's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2457.79,"endTime":2460.61,"body":"one of the things that I found"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2457.79,"endTime":2460.61,"body":"really interesting. And I don't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2460.61,"endTime":2464.33,"body":"think we're going to have time"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2460.61,"endTime":2464.33,"body":"to get into it now. But just to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2464.33,"endTime":2467.6,"body":"kind of touch on it of those"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2464.33,"endTime":2467.6,"body":"past things like past traumas"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2467.6,"endTime":2471.65,"body":"that have a way of like, oh, we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2467.6,"endTime":2471.65,"body":"have space to come up now. Oh,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2471.65,"endTime":2477.14,"body":"it's been like 25 years. Why is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2471.65,"endTime":2477.14,"body":"this emotional charge suddenly"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2477.14,"endTime":2482.09,"body":"hitting me? And it's like, oh,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2477.14,"endTime":2482.09,"body":"there's room for it now. Because"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2482.09,"endTime":2487.13,"body":"it's safe, to come forward and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2482.09,"endTime":2487.13,"body":"be healed? It started to make me"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2487.13,"endTime":2489.77,"body":"think there's something wrong,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2487.13,"endTime":2489.77,"body":"is there a problem in the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2489.77,"endTime":2492.83,"body":"relationship? And I had to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2489.77,"endTime":2492.83,"body":"realize that no, it's because"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2493.28,"endTime":2500.27,"body":"I've given myself enough space,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2493.28,"endTime":2500.27,"body":"that I can process it and my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2500.3,"endTime":2505.64,"body":"husband's created enough space"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2500.3,"endTime":2505.64,"body":"in our relationship of safety,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2505.91,"endTime":2510.77,"body":"that I can bring that forward"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2505.91,"endTime":2510.77,"body":"and say what I need to be able"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2510.77,"endTime":2514.58,"body":"to heal those wounds on a deeper"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2510.77,"endTime":2514.58,"body":"level than I had before."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2514.88,"endTime":2517.82,"body":"Yeah, it's a"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2514.88,"endTime":2517.82,"body":"celebration of the safety and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2517.82,"endTime":2521.0,"body":"connection you're experiencing"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2517.82,"endTime":2521.0,"body":"currently, to be able to go back"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2521.0,"endTime":2524.48,"body":"and address something that made"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2521.0,"endTime":2524.48,"body":"a hurt or will have been harmful"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2524.48,"endTime":2530.81,"body":"before. And sometimes it's the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2524.48,"endTime":2530.81,"body":"reverse it is a pile upon a pile"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2530.9,"endTime":2534.95,"body":"of things. And we get to a"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2530.9,"endTime":2534.95,"body":"critical mass moment. Rasma"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2534.98,"endTime":2538.4,"body":"Manickam talks about a critical"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2534.98,"endTime":2538.4,"body":"mass moment in his book monsters"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2538.4,"endTime":2544.88,"body":"in love, where we can't take"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2538.4,"endTime":2544.88,"body":"another one, we have to address"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2545.9,"endTime":2552.14,"body":"the most recent one and possibly"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2545.9,"endTime":2552.14,"body":"a backlog. This might be when"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2552.14,"endTime":2555.83,"body":"the pain has been we're over the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2552.14,"endTime":2555.83,"body":"pain, we can't we can't have sex"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2555.83,"endTime":2559.34,"body":"one more time with the pain."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2555.83,"endTime":2559.34,"body":"Yeah. And that also can look"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2559.34,"endTime":2564.14,"body":"like the pressure for men where"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2559.34,"endTime":2564.14,"body":"they can't have sex one more"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2564.14,"endTime":2568.19,"body":"time and not have the erection"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2564.14,"endTime":2568.19,"body":"they want to have. So it's not"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2568.19,"endTime":2572.69,"body":"just we all have these"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2568.19,"endTime":2572.69,"body":"experiences of limits around sex"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2572.69,"endTime":2576.35,"body":"and intimacy. And usually, we're"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2572.69,"endTime":2576.35,"body":"blinded by the ones that we're"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2576.35,"endTime":2580.22,"body":"experiencing and don't often"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2576.35,"endTime":2580.22,"body":"have compassion for our partner"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2580.25,"endTime":2583.61,"body":"also experiencing their, their"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2580.25,"endTime":2583.61,"body":"framework, their lens of it,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2583.61,"endTime":2586.43,"body":"too, because we're all affected"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2583.61,"endTime":2586.43,"body":"by it."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2586.46,"endTime":2590.18,"body":"Yeah, we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2586.46,"endTime":2590.18,"body":"are. So much so. And then that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2590.18,"endTime":2593.18,"body":"communication is really key."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2590.18,"endTime":2593.18,"body":"Because that's definitely a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2593.18,"endTime":2598.1,"body":"thing of like, what did I do,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2593.18,"endTime":2598.1,"body":"actually, isn't you? But you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2598.1,"endTime":2600.53,"body":"know, maybe it is maybe there is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2598.1,"endTime":2600.53,"body":"something to talk about, maybe"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2600.53,"endTime":2605.69,"body":"there's something to shift. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2600.53,"endTime":2605.69,"body":"so that makes a lot of sense. I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2605.69,"endTime":2609.5,"body":"would love for you to share a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2605.69,"endTime":2609.5,"body":"little bit about what does it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2609.5,"endTime":2614.45,"body":"look like to work with you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2609.5,"endTime":2614.45,"body":"somebody who's listening to this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2614.45,"endTime":2619.79,"body":"and is like, I really want this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2614.45,"endTime":2619.79,"body":"area of my life to be more"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2619.79,"endTime":2624.56,"body":"expansive, more chosen limits"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2619.79,"endTime":2624.56,"body":"versus the imposed learned"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2624.56,"endTime":2629.18,"body":"limits? What does it look like"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2624.56,"endTime":2629.18,"body":"to reach out to you and to start"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2629.18,"endTime":2629.72,"body":"work with you?"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2630.91,"endTime":2634.78,"body":"Well, I offer a"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2630.91,"endTime":2634.78,"body":"15 minute FREE PHONE"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2634.84,"endTime":2640.03,"body":"CONSULTATION first, because the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2634.84,"endTime":2640.03,"body":"topic is so vulnerable. I want"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2640.03,"endTime":2646.75,"body":"to make it as kind of easy. When"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2640.03,"endTime":2646.75,"body":"it's not right, to make it as"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2646.75,"endTime":2649.87,"body":"accessible as possible to have"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2646.75,"endTime":2649.87,"body":"like, okay, we're just gonna"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2649.87,"endTime":2654.28,"body":"talk about this for 15 minutes."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2649.87,"endTime":2654.28,"body":"I work with both couples and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2654.28,"endTime":2659.71,"body":"individuals. And it's so helpful"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2654.28,"endTime":2659.71,"body":"to have a third party who's"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2659.8,"endTime":2665.98,"body":"neutral, to say the things that"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2659.8,"endTime":2665.98,"body":"we can't say to one another on"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2665.98,"endTime":2669.4,"body":"our own because it does feel"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2665.98,"endTime":2669.4,"body":"like rejection because we do"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2669.4,"endTime":2673.51,"body":"feel judgment, we feel shame, we"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2669.4,"endTime":2673.51,"body":"feel embarrassed. We feel"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2673.51,"endTime":2678.76,"body":"defensive. Right, it feels super"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2673.51,"endTime":2678.76,"body":"vulnerable. And I also have the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2678.76,"endTime":2682.81,"body":"capacity to talk into the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2678.76,"endTime":2682.81,"body":"systems of oppression and the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2682.81,"endTime":2688.24,"body":"cultural and societal stories"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2682.81,"endTime":2688.24,"body":"that are running in our heads in"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2688.27,"endTime":2693.07,"body":"all of our heads that support us"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2688.27,"endTime":2693.07,"body":"to see Oh, this isn't actually"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2693.07,"endTime":2698.56,"body":"about us at all. Most of the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2693.07,"endTime":2698.56,"body":"time, it's not even about the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2698.56,"endTime":2702.7,"body":"two people in the relation"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2698.56,"endTime":2702.7,"body":"twinship it's not even about me,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2703.72,"endTime":2707.83,"body":"it is about all of the things"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2703.72,"endTime":2707.83,"body":"that we haven't learned because"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2707.95,"endTime":2711.34,"body":"that information has been"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2707.95,"endTime":2711.34,"body":"withheld from us purposefully,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2711.85,"endTime":2718.06,"body":"or the misinformation we've been"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2711.85,"endTime":2718.06,"body":"given purposefully. And so we go"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2718.06,"endTime":2723.04,"body":"from a 15 minute consultation to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2718.06,"endTime":2723.04,"body":"a trust agreement and a service"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2723.04,"endTime":2727.09,"body":"agreement that really thoroughly"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2723.04,"endTime":2727.09,"body":"outline expectations you can"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2727.09,"endTime":2730.36,"body":"have of me and expectations, I'd"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2727.09,"endTime":2730.36,"body":"like to have a view if we decide"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2730.36,"endTime":2735.79,"body":"to work together. And from then"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2730.36,"endTime":2735.79,"body":"on, it's about me, modeling the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2735.79,"endTime":2739.63,"body":"sex practice container. So"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2735.79,"endTime":2739.63,"body":"individually, we work together"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2739.63,"endTime":2744.49,"body":"60 minutes, once a week, with"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2739.63,"endTime":2744.49,"body":"two people, it's 90 minutes,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2744.49,"endTime":2747.76,"body":"once a week, so that there's"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2744.49,"endTime":2747.76,"body":"enough room for both people to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2747.76,"endTime":2751.9,"body":"talk to share, to experience and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2747.76,"endTime":2751.9,"body":"express. And the coaching is"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2751.9,"endTime":2756.67,"body":"really, we do talk, but there's"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2751.9,"endTime":2756.67,"body":"also somatic and body based"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2756.67,"endTime":2763.66,"body":"practices and exercises, with"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2756.67,"endTime":2763.66,"body":"also a focus on awareness on"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2763.66,"endTime":2767.98,"body":"mindfulness, sometimes we feel"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2763.66,"endTime":2767.98,"body":"that as meditation, it's, it's a"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2767.98,"endTime":2772.69,"body":"sense of being able to slow"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2767.98,"endTime":2772.69,"body":"things down. So we can see them"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2772.69,"endTime":2775.57,"body":"so that we can feel them so that"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2772.69,"endTime":2775.57,"body":"we're not automatically"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2775.57,"endTime":2779.23,"body":"reacting, we're not in survival"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2775.57,"endTime":2779.23,"body":"mode, that we can begin to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2779.23,"endTime":2784.03,"body":"breathe and connect to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2779.23,"endTime":2784.03,"body":"ourselves, and one another. So"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2784.03,"endTime":2788.02,"body":"those are all the elements where"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2784.03,"endTime":2788.02,"body":"we're clarifying what it is, we"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2788.02,"endTime":2791.29,"body":"want need, what invites us into"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2788.02,"endTime":2791.29,"body":"pleasure, what supports us to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2791.29,"endTime":2795.07,"body":"feel love. We're learning how to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2791.29,"endTime":2795.07,"body":"connect to ourselves and to our"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2795.07,"endTime":2799.81,"body":"partner. We're learning what"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2795.07,"endTime":2799.81,"body":"communication can be like when"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2799.81,"endTime":2803.74,"body":"we share these things, both"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2799.81,"endTime":2803.74,"body":"internally with ourselves and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2803.74,"endTime":2808.12,"body":"our partner. We're doing some"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2803.74,"endTime":2808.12,"body":"healing work. And we're learning"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2808.12,"endTime":2813.52,"body":"how to co create our sex life."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2808.12,"endTime":2813.52,"body":"Sometimes that's literal skills,"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2813.52,"endTime":2817.09,"body":"like what are the skills that"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2813.52,"endTime":2817.09,"body":"invite me into pleasure that"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2817.09,"endTime":2820.27,"body":"invite them into pleasure?"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2817.09,"endTime":2820.27,"body":"What's the mindset? What's the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2820.27,"endTime":2826.06,"body":"intention? So it's really those"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2820.27,"endTime":2826.06,"body":"pieces that we begin to work on"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2826.06,"endTime":2829.21,"body":"that are interwoven in those"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2826.06,"endTime":2829.21,"body":"sessions together."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2829.72,"endTime":2832.24,"body":"I love it."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2829.72,"endTime":2832.24,"body":"Well, I will have links for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2832.24,"endTime":2839.02,"body":"people to connect with you in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2832.24,"endTime":2839.02,"body":"the show notes. And to wrap up,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2839.29,"endTime":2842.53,"body":"I like to ask two questions. The"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2839.29,"endTime":2842.53,"body":"first is, what does it mean to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2842.53,"endTime":2844.15,"body":"you to be unlimited?"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2845.98,"endTime":2849.76,"body":"For me, to be"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2845.98,"endTime":2849.76,"body":"unlimited, is to be fully"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2849.76,"endTime":2855.28,"body":"present, to the best of my"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2849.76,"endTime":2855.28,"body":"ability in the moment. And to be"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2855.28,"endTime":2862.78,"body":"able to actually invoke choice."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2855.28,"endTime":2862.78,"body":"And when I'm present and, and"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2862.78,"endTime":2868.24,"body":"fully capable of choosing, like"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2862.78,"endTime":2868.24,"body":"feels unlimited. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2869.35,"endTime":2872.23,"body":"And when"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2869.35,"endTime":2872.23,"body":"you want to have that unlimited"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2872.23,"endTime":2874.96,"body":"feeling, what song would you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2872.23,"endTime":2874.96,"body":"listen to?"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2876.4,"endTime":2880.323,"body":"So I listen to"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2876.4,"endTime":2880.323,"body":"Adventure of a Lifetime by"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2880.418,"endTime":2886.638,"body":"Coldplay. And it's the sense the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2880.418,"endTime":2886.638,"body":"lyrics go, you make me feel like"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2886.734,"endTime":2892.954,"body":"I'm in love again. And sometimes"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2886.734,"endTime":2892.954,"body":"the lyrics make me feel a little"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2893.049,"endTime":2898.886,"body":"weird. Because I feel in love."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2893.049,"endTime":2898.886,"body":"Not again, just in love. And I"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2898.982,"endTime":2905.01,"body":"can feel that with myself. I can"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2898.982,"endTime":2905.01,"body":"feel that with my partner. And"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2905.106,"endTime":2910.943,"body":"so it's not really about the"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2905.106,"endTime":2910.943,"body":"again, but it is this feeling of"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2911.039,"endTime":2916.684,"body":"expansiveness, this experience"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2911.039,"endTime":2916.684,"body":"of limitlessness when I feel"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2916.78,"endTime":2922.808,"body":"like I'm in love, and I get that"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2916.78,"endTime":2922.808,"body":"embodiment and that experience"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2922.904,"endTime":2924.34,"body":"with that song."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2924.88,"endTime":2926.89,"body":"Oh, I love"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2924.88,"endTime":2926.89,"body":"it. Thank you so much for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2926.89,"endTime":2931.06,"body":"joining me. I really have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2926.89,"endTime":2931.06,"body":"appreciated this conversation."},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2931.06,"endTime":2933.52,"body":"Thank you so"},{"speaker":"Daniela Stevens","startTime":2931.06,"endTime":2933.52,"body":"much for having me."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2933.52,"endTime":2935.899,"body":"Thanks for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2933.52,"endTime":2935.899,"body":"listening. I so appreciate you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2935.957,"endTime":2939.614,"body":"being here. If you got something"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2935.957,"endTime":2939.614,"body":"out of today's episode, please"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2939.672,"endTime":2943.212,"body":"share it. Leave me a review."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2939.672,"endTime":2943.212,"body":"Take a screenshot and post it on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2943.27,"endTime":2946.926,"body":"social with a shout out to me,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2943.27,"endTime":2946.926,"body":"send it to a friend or you know,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2946.984,"endTime":2950.525,"body":"all of the above. Want to hang"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2946.984,"endTime":2950.525,"body":"out more join me on Instagram,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2950.583,"endTime":2954.355,"body":"or better yet, get on my mailing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2950.583,"endTime":2954.355,"body":"list to make sure you don't miss"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2954.413,"endTime":2957.664,"body":"out on anything. And remember,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2954.413,"endTime":2957.664,"body":"your possibilities are as"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2957.722,"endTime":2961.204,"body":"unlimited as you are. Allow"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2957.722,"endTime":2961.204,"body":"yourself to shine my friend. The"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2961.262,"endTime":2963.7,"body":"world needs your light. See you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2961.262,"endTime":2963.7,"body":"next time."}]}