{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":0.0,"endTime":2.22,"body":"Hello, my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":0.0,"endTime":2.22,"body":"friends, and welcome to another"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2.22,"endTime":5.94,"body":"episode of unlimited today. We"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2.22,"endTime":5.94,"body":"are talking about navigating our"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":5.94,"endTime":10.14,"body":"relationship with death. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":5.94,"endTime":10.14,"body":"while I was scheduling out my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":10.14,"endTime":13.86,"body":"episodes, I was like, when is a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":10.14,"endTime":13.86,"body":"good time to put this episode?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":13.86,"endTime":19.14,"body":"And I realized there is no good"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":13.86,"endTime":19.14,"body":"time. There's also no bad time,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":19.38,"endTime":25.64,"body":"because death is ever present."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":19.38,"endTime":25.64,"body":"It is an intrinsic part of our"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":25.82,"endTime":32.24,"body":"human experience, of our"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":25.82,"endTime":32.24,"body":"humanity, and it is important"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":32.24,"endTime":37.4,"body":"for us to explore this profound"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":32.24,"endTime":37.4,"body":"and challenging aspect of life"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":37.4,"endTime":43.24,"body":"that we so often won't talk"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":37.4,"endTime":43.24,"body":"about it, is only by engaging"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":43.3,"endTime":49.66,"body":"this topic, by talking about it,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":43.3,"endTime":49.66,"body":"by becoming open to it as an"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":49.66,"endTime":54.7,"body":"important part of our journey,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":49.66,"endTime":54.7,"body":"that we open the door to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":54.7,"endTime":60.16,"body":"receiving care around it and to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":54.7,"endTime":60.16,"body":"being able to provide care"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":60.52,"endTime":64.14,"body":"around it, when we shut that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":60.52,"endTime":64.14,"body":"door and when we refuse to look"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":64.14,"endTime":70.38,"body":"at it, when we avoid it, we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":64.14,"endTime":70.38,"body":"isolate ourselves. And so often"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":70.44,"endTime":75.72,"body":"people talk about grief being"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":70.44,"endTime":75.72,"body":"extremely isolating, and we're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":75.78,"endTime":79.02,"body":"social creatures. We need each"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":75.78,"endTime":79.02,"body":"other. The other thing that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":79.02,"endTime":84.02,"body":"comes to mind is just this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":79.02,"endTime":84.02,"body":"binary that we often set up of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":85.16,"endTime":89.12,"body":"the idea that like birth, the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":85.16,"endTime":89.12,"body":"beginning of life is this joyful"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":89.12,"endTime":94.94,"body":"experience, and death, the end"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":89.12,"endTime":94.94,"body":"of life is this sorrowful"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":94.94,"endTime":97.94,"body":"experience. And the fact of the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":94.94,"endTime":97.94,"body":"matter is that we are not that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":97.94,"endTime":105.46,"body":"binary. Both ends hold the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":97.94,"endTime":105.46,"body":"multitude of our emotional self,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":105.82,"endTime":111.52,"body":"which whether we have access to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":105.82,"endTime":111.52,"body":"that full range of emotion, is a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":111.52,"endTime":115.48,"body":"question. We often shut down"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":111.52,"endTime":115.48,"body":"access to that or have that shut"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":115.48,"endTime":121.68,"body":"down as we navigate this world."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":115.48,"endTime":121.68,"body":"But it exists. It's all there."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":121.74,"endTime":126.06,"body":"And I believe that it's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":121.74,"endTime":126.06,"body":"important to embrace that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":126.06,"endTime":129.42,"body":"fullness, just like we want to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":126.06,"endTime":129.42,"body":"embrace that fullness throughout"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":129.48,"endTime":133.32,"body":"life, through all of it, not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":129.48,"endTime":133.32,"body":"just constantly chase things,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":133.32,"endTime":140.42,"body":"but to be present and to embrace"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":133.32,"endTime":140.42,"body":"that whole experience. So to do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":140.42,"endTime":143.78,"body":"that, to engage this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":140.42,"endTime":143.78,"body":"conversation, to open that door"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":143.78,"endTime":148.88,"body":"and invite us all to walk"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":143.78,"endTime":148.88,"body":"through and connect with the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":148.88,"endTime":154.76,"body":"care we deserve around this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":148.88,"endTime":154.76,"body":"aspect of life. I invited Nikki"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":154.76,"endTime":158.54,"body":"Smith, who is a compassionate"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":154.76,"endTime":158.54,"body":"and experienced death doula and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":158.54,"endTime":162.34,"body":"grief coach. She helps"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":158.54,"endTime":162.34,"body":"individuals and their families"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":162.34,"endTime":166.42,"body":"navigate the complex, emotional,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":162.34,"endTime":166.42,"body":"practical and spiritual aspects"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":166.42,"endTime":169.84,"body":"of the end of life journey. She"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":166.42,"endTime":169.84,"body":"serves the terminally ill,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":169.84,"endTime":173.86,"body":"dying, elderly and their loved"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":169.84,"endTime":173.86,"body":"ones with dignity and respect."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":174.46,"endTime":178.24,"body":"Her goal is to help people"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":174.46,"endTime":178.24,"body":"embrace the end of life and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":178.24,"endTime":181.38,"body":"share open and honest"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":178.24,"endTime":181.38,"body":"communication with their loved"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":181.38,"endTime":186.12,"body":"ones. She can take the burden"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":181.38,"endTime":186.12,"body":"and hold space so you can focus"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":186.12,"endTime":190.02,"body":"on what matters most in your"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":186.12,"endTime":190.02,"body":"final days and leave this world"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":190.02,"endTime":194.88,"body":"at peace when she's not dueling,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":190.02,"endTime":194.88,"body":"she's usually found hiding in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":194.88,"endTime":200.12,"body":"the trees somewhere. Together,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":194.88,"endTime":200.12,"body":"we explore the essential role of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":200.12,"endTime":204.98,"body":"a death doula, the importance of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":200.12,"endTime":204.98,"body":"having space for grief, engaging"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":204.98,"endTime":208.4,"body":"our fear of death, and how to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":204.98,"endTime":208.4,"body":"find care through the end of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":208.4,"endTime":213.08,"body":"life experience, whether you are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":208.4,"endTime":213.08,"body":"facing the loss of a loved one,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":213.32,"endTime":216.98,"body":"supporting someone who is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":213.32,"endTime":216.98,"body":"dealing with the loss of a loved"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":216.98,"endTime":220.84,"body":"one, contemplating your own"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":216.98,"endTime":220.84,"body":"mortality, or is simply Curious"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":220.84,"endTime":224.62,"body":"about the work of a death doula,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":220.84,"endTime":224.62,"body":"I know you are going to find"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":224.62,"endTime":228.7,"body":"this conversation invaluable. So"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":224.62,"endTime":228.7,"body":"without further ado, let's get"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":228.7,"endTime":232.96,"body":"started. Hey there. I'm Valerie"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":228.7,"endTime":232.96,"body":"Friedlander, Certified Life"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":232.96,"endTime":237.4,"body":"business alignment coach, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":232.96,"endTime":237.4,"body":"this is unlimited. This podcast"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":237.4,"endTime":240.72,"body":"bridges the individual and the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":237.4,"endTime":240.72,"body":"societal, scientific and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":240.72,"endTime":245.04,"body":"spiritual, positive and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":240.72,"endTime":245.04,"body":"negative, nerdy and no, there's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":245.04,"endTime":249.06,"body":"just a lot of nerdy. Come on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":245.04,"endTime":249.06,"body":"board, and let's unlock a light"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":249.24,"endTime":251.4,"body":"that's as badass as you are."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":258.959,"endTime":261.739,"body":"Welcome, Nikki, I'm so"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":258.959,"endTime":261.739,"body":"excited to have you on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":261.739,"endTime":262.579,"body":"podcast."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":262.78,"endTime":264.64,"body":"Thank you. I'm"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":262.78,"endTime":264.64,"body":"excited to be here."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":264.91,"endTime":266.62,"body":"Honestly, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":264.91,"endTime":266.62,"body":"don't know that I had heard of a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":266.62,"endTime":271.09,"body":"death doula until I met you."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":266.62,"endTime":271.09,"body":"Definitely heard of a birth"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":271.09,"endTime":274.33,"body":"doula. But before we get into"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":271.09,"endTime":274.33,"body":"that, I want to start with a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":274.33,"endTime":278.44,"body":"question that I ask each guest"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":274.33,"endTime":278.44,"body":"this season, which is, what is a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":278.44,"endTime":282.67,"body":"limit you took for granted that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":278.44,"endTime":282.67,"body":"you have since unlearned,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":283.63,"endTime":286.72,"body":"Oh, um, just pick"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":283.63,"endTime":286.72,"body":"one."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":287.08,"endTime":287.71,"body":"I know,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":287.08,"endTime":287.71,"body":"right?"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":288.28,"endTime":292.12,"body":"Yeah, I've learned"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":288.28,"endTime":292.12,"body":"a lot of well, I've had a lot of"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":292.12,"endTime":294.76,"body":"limits that I've since"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":292.12,"endTime":294.76,"body":"unlearned, but the biggest one"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":294.76,"endTime":298.54,"body":"in my most recent experience is"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":294.76,"endTime":298.54,"body":"that you don't have to follow"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":298.54,"endTime":301.39,"body":"that formula that ever."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":298.54,"endTime":301.39,"body":"Everybody at my age has been fed"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":301.39,"endTime":303.73,"body":"their entire life. Of you go to"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":301.39,"endTime":303.73,"body":"high school, you go to college,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":303.73,"endTime":307.72,"body":"you get a career, you retire,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":303.73,"endTime":307.72,"body":"you die. You don't have to go"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":307.72,"endTime":310.72,"body":"that route. You don't have to go"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":307.72,"endTime":310.72,"body":"to college if you don't want to."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":310.75,"endTime":313.51,"body":"You don't have to get a quote,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":310.75,"endTime":313.51,"body":"unquote career in a corporate"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":313.51,"endTime":316.75,"body":"job if you don't want to. That"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":313.51,"endTime":316.75,"body":"was drilled into my head for so"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":316.75,"endTime":319.99,"body":"long, and I full out believed it"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":316.75,"endTime":319.99,"body":"until about five years ago, when"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":319.99,"endTime":322.03,"body":"I started realizing I don't have"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":319.99,"endTime":322.03,"body":"to do this."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":322.69,"endTime":324.22,"body":"What made"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":322.69,"endTime":324.22,"body":"that shift for you?"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":325.09,"endTime":328.21,"body":"Honestly, Covid"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":325.09,"endTime":328.21,"body":"helped a lot. I hate to say,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":328.33,"endTime":330.19,"body":"that Covid helped, but you know"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":328.33,"endTime":330.19,"body":"what I mean"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":330.37,"endTime":330.94,"body":"I do,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":331.35,"endTime":335.28,"body":"The pandemic kind"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":331.35,"endTime":335.28,"body":"of helped push that like I I"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":335.28,"endTime":338.19,"body":"was, I'm obsessed with people"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":335.28,"endTime":338.19,"body":"that live nomadic lifestyles."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":338.19,"endTime":342.69,"body":"That is an a goal for me one"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":338.19,"endTime":342.69,"body":"day, is to live life, you know,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":342.72,"endTime":346.29,"body":"on the road, be it, you know,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":342.72,"endTime":346.29,"body":"van, RV, whatever, even just"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":346.56,"endTime":349.65,"body":"couch to couch, I don't care,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":346.56,"endTime":349.65,"body":"and that's always fascinated me."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":349.65,"endTime":352.29,"body":"So I love learning about those,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":349.65,"endTime":352.29,"body":"those people and what they do"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":352.29,"endTime":354.42,"body":"and their lifestyles like. And"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":352.29,"endTime":354.42,"body":"it never occurred to me that"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":354.42,"endTime":357.99,"body":"something like that would be"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":354.42,"endTime":357.99,"body":"possible, because growing up in,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":358.02,"endTime":362.16,"body":"you know, middle class, middle"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":358.02,"endTime":362.16,"body":"America. It's like the people"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":362.16,"endTime":365.7,"body":"that do that are looked down"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":362.16,"endTime":365.7,"body":"upon. Like, no, these people are"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":365.7,"endTime":369.84,"body":"really cool. And as things"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":365.7,"endTime":369.84,"body":"started becoming more and more"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":369.84,"endTime":373.53,"body":"remote, like, I started working"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":369.84,"endTime":373.53,"body":"remote for my full time day job"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":373.86,"endTime":377.49,"body":"I used to have at home. And I"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":373.86,"endTime":377.49,"body":"was like, I can do this"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":377.49,"endTime":380.73,"body":"anywhere, because we would go on"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":377.49,"endTime":380.73,"body":"vacation, and I would still be"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":380.73,"endTime":384.45,"body":"able to log in and work part of"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":380.73,"endTime":384.45,"body":"the day. So, yeah."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":384.93,"endTime":388.08,"body":"Yeah. Well,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":384.93,"endTime":388.08,"body":"and it's, it's something that I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":388.08,"endTime":392.37,"body":"think about as living really"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":388.08,"endTime":392.37,"body":"fully. Like, what is it like?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":392.4,"endTime":397.56,"body":"What does it mean to like, fully"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":392.4,"endTime":397.56,"body":"live your life? And I was also"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":397.56,"endTime":401.16,"body":"one of those people who like,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":397.56,"endTime":401.16,"body":"fit the prescription of you go"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":401.16,"endTime":404.76,"body":"to school, you get good grades,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":401.16,"endTime":404.76,"body":"you graduate, you get married,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":404.76,"endTime":407.13,"body":"you get a job, you climb the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":404.76,"endTime":407.13,"body":"corporate ladder, you buy a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":407.13,"endTime":413.37,"body":"house in the suburbs, you have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":407.13,"endTime":413.37,"body":"two children, and then"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":413.4,"endTime":414.45,"body":"Question mark?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":414.69,"endTime":418.26,"body":"yeah?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":414.69,"endTime":418.26,"body":"eventually you get to retire,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":418.26,"endTime":421.17,"body":"maybe, if you're lucky.. and"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":421.2,"endTime":424.29,"body":"Yeah. Well, and I"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":421.2,"endTime":424.29,"body":"broke that pretty quick, just"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":424.29,"endTime":426.51,"body":"out of the fact that I didn't"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":424.29,"endTime":426.51,"body":"really have any desire to get"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":426.51,"endTime":430.41,"body":"married for a long time, and I"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":426.51,"endTime":430.41,"body":"never really wanted kids, so"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":430.44,"endTime":433.5,"body":"that part of the equation was"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":430.44,"endTime":433.5,"body":"never, never registered in my"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":433.5,"endTime":435.69,"body":"brain, but it was still just"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":433.5,"endTime":435.69,"body":"pushed upon like, well, you"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":435.69,"endTime":439.35,"body":"still have to have a job, a"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":435.69,"endTime":439.35,"body":"career. And,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":439.65,"endTime":442.68,"body":"Yeah, well,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":439.65,"endTime":442.68,"body":"and it's something that, of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":442.68,"endTime":446.34,"body":"course, has come much more home"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":442.68,"endTime":446.34,"body":"to me. And one of the reasons"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":446.34,"endTime":449.28,"body":"why, when I learned about you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":446.34,"endTime":449.28,"body":"and what you do, I was like, we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":449.28,"endTime":453.36,"body":"definitely need to talk about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":449.28,"endTime":453.36,"body":"this, because I had never heard"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":453.36,"endTime":456.9,"body":"of a death doula, like I said,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":453.36,"endTime":456.9,"body":"I've heard of a birth doula. I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":456.93,"endTime":461.82,"body":"had support from one in giving"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":456.93,"endTime":461.82,"body":"birth. I used midwives, but, you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":461.82,"endTime":465.57,"body":"know, we got training from a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":461.82,"endTime":465.57,"body":"birth doula, and really got an"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":465.57,"endTime":470.88,"body":"understanding of what I could"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":465.57,"endTime":470.88,"body":"ask for, what I wanted in that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":470.88,"endTime":477.87,"body":"process, and how to create that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":470.88,"endTime":477.87,"body":"space for myself and have others"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":477.87,"endTime":482.04,"body":"who can support me creating that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":477.87,"endTime":482.04,"body":"space. So I was like, Oh, I had"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":482.04,"endTime":488.49,"body":"never thought about that being"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":482.04,"endTime":488.49,"body":"applied to end of life. And here"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":488.49,"endTime":494.34,"body":"I am at, you know, relatively"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":488.49,"endTime":494.34,"body":"young age of 42 and I've lost a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":494.34,"endTime":499.83,"body":"number of people relatively"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":494.34,"endTime":499.83,"body":"recently, friends, friends,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":499.86,"endTime":506.07,"body":"spouses. It it's been and it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":499.86,"endTime":506.07,"body":"was, I guess I was like, Oh, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":506.07,"endTime":509.1,"body":"didn't realize I was at that age"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":506.07,"endTime":509.1,"body":"yet, because I always thought,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":509.1,"endTime":512.31,"body":"you know, later, because this is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":509.1,"endTime":512.31,"body":"the order that you do things in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":512.37,"endTime":516.93,"body":"that or like, sudden loss. I've"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":512.37,"endTime":516.93,"body":"my my cousin died in a bike"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":516.93,"endTime":521.7,"body":"accident and and that has been"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":516.93,"endTime":521.7,"body":"really hard. I've been blessed"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":521.7,"endTime":528.54,"body":"to not have a lot of loss in my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":521.7,"endTime":528.54,"body":"life. And so seeing this and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":528.54,"endTime":532.11,"body":"starting to think about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":528.54,"endTime":532.11,"body":"mortality a lot more, also with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":532.11,"endTime":535.29,"body":"the situation of the world and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":532.11,"endTime":535.29,"body":"everything that's going on, you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":535.29,"endTime":537.42,"body":"know, there's just a lot more"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":535.29,"endTime":537.42,"body":"thinking about it. And so I was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":537.42,"endTime":543.6,"body":"like, I would love to know and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":537.42,"endTime":543.6,"body":"have you share with the people"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":543.6,"endTime":548.07,"body":"who are listening, what is it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":543.6,"endTime":548.07,"body":"that you do? How? Yeah, I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":548.07,"endTime":548.85,"body":"gonna leave it at that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":549.02,"endTime":551.57,"body":"Yeah. Well, and thank"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":549.02,"endTime":551.57,"body":"you for bringing up the birth"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":551.62,"endTime":554.62,"body":"doula, because most people have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":551.62,"endTime":554.62,"body":"heard of a birth doula. I've"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":554.67,"endTime":557.67,"body":"only encountered a handful of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":554.67,"endTime":557.67,"body":"people who have not ever heard"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":557.72,"endTime":560.72,"body":"of a birth doula. So once I ask"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":557.72,"endTime":560.72,"body":"them if they understand what"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":560.77,"endTime":563.77,"body":"birth doulas do, they say, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":560.77,"endTime":563.77,"body":"they say, Yes, I'm like, then"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":563.82,"endTime":566.87,"body":"you know what I do? So much like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":563.82,"endTime":566.87,"body":"you were saying you received"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":566.92,"endTime":570.02,"body":"support ahead of time as how you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":566.92,"endTime":570.02,"body":"want your birthing process to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":570.07,"endTime":573.02,"body":"go. I do very much the same"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":570.07,"endTime":573.02,"body":"thing for people who are facing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":573.07,"endTime":576.02,"body":"end of life and this, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":573.07,"endTime":576.02,"body":"this can be anybody who has a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":576.07,"endTime":579.32,"body":"terminal diagnosis, somebody who"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":576.07,"endTime":579.32,"body":"is still receiving treatment, or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":579.37,"endTime":582.52,"body":"even just somebody who might be,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":579.37,"endTime":582.52,"body":"you know, in their mid to late"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":582.57,"endTime":585.82,"body":"70s, and they know, you know, it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":582.57,"endTime":585.82,"body":"could be coming now, or it could"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":585.87,"endTime":588.87,"body":"be 20 years from now, but they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":585.87,"endTime":588.87,"body":"want to be ready. I work with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":588.92,"endTime":592.02,"body":"people my age, sometimes just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":588.92,"endTime":592.02,"body":"getting their advanced directive"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":592.07,"endTime":595.22,"body":"paperwork together to make sure"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":592.07,"endTime":595.22,"body":"they have everything taken care"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":595.27,"endTime":598.12,"body":"of that they need to but yeah,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":595.27,"endTime":598.12,"body":"just like you said, I help"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":598.17,"endTime":600.82,"body":"people come up with most of my"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":598.17,"endTime":600.82,"body":"clients have. Terminal"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":600.87,"endTime":604.02,"body":"diagnosis, and I will help them"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":600.87,"endTime":604.02,"body":"come up with their plan for how"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":604.07,"endTime":607.17,"body":"they would like for their final"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":604.07,"endTime":607.17,"body":"days, weeks, months to go, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":607.22,"endTime":610.27,"body":"that can look like, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":607.22,"endTime":610.27,"body":"they would, most people want to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":610.32,"endTime":613.37,"body":"be at home. How can we set up"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":610.32,"endTime":613.37,"body":"your home? Is that feasible? Is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":613.42,"endTime":616.32,"body":"hospice ready? You know, should"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":613.42,"endTime":616.32,"body":"we sign up for hospice and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":616.37,"endTime":619.52,"body":"explaining to them, the family,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":616.37,"endTime":619.52,"body":"how hospice works and what they"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":619.57,"endTime":622.62,"body":"do and what they don't do do we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":619.57,"endTime":622.62,"body":"need extra care? Where can we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":622.67,"endTime":625.92,"body":"find that I so I do a little bit"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":622.67,"endTime":625.92,"body":"of the social work stuff to just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":625.97,"endTime":629.07,"body":"help them get those taken care"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":625.97,"endTime":629.07,"body":"of. But then you know, what are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":629.12,"endTime":632.12,"body":"your spiritual beliefs? Do you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":629.12,"endTime":632.12,"body":"have a certain ritual? Do you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":632.17,"endTime":635.02,"body":"have certain people that you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":632.17,"endTime":635.02,"body":"need around you? Do you have"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":635.07,"endTime":637.97,"body":"certain items that you need"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":635.07,"endTime":637.97,"body":"present in your final breaths?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":638.02,"endTime":641.12,"body":"And so once they are no longer"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":638.02,"endTime":641.12,"body":"able to speak for themselves, I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":641.17,"endTime":644.27,"body":"can speak for them to make sure"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":641.17,"endTime":644.27,"body":"that their wishes are honored."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":644.0,"endTime":647.39,"body":"Are there"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":644.0,"endTime":647.39,"body":"legal aspects that go into that?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":647.39,"endTime":651.29,"body":"Because, like, I know advanced"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":647.39,"endTime":651.29,"body":"directives and power of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":651.29,"endTime":654.86,"body":"attorney, and like all of that,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":651.29,"endTime":654.86,"body":"I've a friend who's a state"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":654.86,"endTime":658.61,"body":"attorney, and so, like I I know"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":654.86,"endTime":658.61,"body":"that when I was birthing, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":658.61,"endTime":662.18,"body":"could have said I want my Doula"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":658.61,"endTime":662.18,"body":"present, and then they would"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":662.6,"endTime":666.86,"body":"have a say, and if I was not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":662.6,"endTime":666.86,"body":"able to communicate, well, that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":666.86,"endTime":669.83,"body":"they would do that for me. What"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":666.86,"endTime":669.83,"body":"does that look like?"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":670.01,"endTime":672.8,"body":"So, now, in a"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":670.01,"endTime":672.8,"body":"situation like that, I don't"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":672.8,"endTime":675.65,"body":"know if the birthing doula could"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":672.8,"endTime":675.65,"body":"do that, unless you made them"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":675.65,"endTime":678.53,"body":"your healthcare power of"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":675.65,"endTime":678.53,"body":"attorney, and this is to make,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":678.8,"endTime":684.17,"body":"you know, life decisions as far"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":678.8,"endTime":684.17,"body":"as if, let's say you are, you"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":684.17,"endTime":687.26,"body":"have terminal illness, you have"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":684.17,"endTime":687.26,"body":"ALS and you have a stroke and"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":687.26,"endTime":690.14,"body":"you're now in the hospital, you"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":687.26,"endTime":690.14,"body":"might not necessarily been on"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":690.14,"endTime":693.53,"body":"hospice, yet you might not be in"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":690.14,"endTime":693.53,"body":"your last final months, but now"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":693.53,"endTime":697.58,"body":"you've had this massive stroke"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":693.53,"endTime":697.58,"body":"and you are brain dead, or"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":697.58,"endTime":699.98,"body":"you're just no longer"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":697.58,"endTime":699.98,"body":"responsive. Who is going to make"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":699.98,"endTime":704.06,"body":"that decision as far as life"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":699.98,"endTime":704.06,"body":"sustaining like, Do you want a"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":704.06,"endTime":706.82,"body":"feeding tube? Do you want to be"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":704.06,"endTime":706.82,"body":"on artificial breathing"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":706.82,"endTime":711.41,"body":"machines? And do you not want"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":706.82,"endTime":711.41,"body":"that? And the power of attorney"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":711.44,"endTime":713.69,"body":"is the person that will make"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":711.44,"endTime":713.69,"body":"that decision for you, and it is"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":713.69,"endTime":718.55,"body":"a legal document. You don't need"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":713.69,"endTime":718.55,"body":"an attorney to complete one. You"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":718.55,"endTime":721.61,"body":"can find those whatever state"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":718.55,"endTime":721.61,"body":"you're in, I encourage you to"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":721.61,"endTime":725.3,"body":"just Google healthcare power of"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":721.61,"endTime":725.3,"body":"attorney my state, and you'll"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":725.3,"endTime":728.09,"body":"find that form most of the time."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":725.3,"endTime":728.09,"body":"All you need is a notary to"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":728.09,"endTime":730.43,"body":"notarize that document,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":728.09,"endTime":730.43,"body":"sometimes even just two"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":730.43,"endTime":733.61,"body":"witnesses. Then those do need to"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":730.43,"endTime":733.61,"body":"be honored. And financial power"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":733.61,"endTime":736.1,"body":"of attorney is the same, only"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":733.61,"endTime":736.1,"body":"that's like somebody that can"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":736.1,"endTime":738.86,"body":"manage your finances if you are"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":736.1,"endTime":738.86,"body":"no longer able to do so."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":739.07,"endTime":742.22,"body":"I'm curious"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":739.07,"endTime":742.22,"body":"that because you, I'm sure you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":742.22,"endTime":745.37,"body":"get a lot of questions and a lot"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":742.22,"endTime":745.37,"body":"of things that you're like,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":745.46,"endTime":748.01,"body":"they're things that people don't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":745.46,"endTime":748.01,"body":"know, because this is considered"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":748.01,"endTime":750.47,"body":"a taboo subject. Absolutely"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":748.01,"endTime":750.47,"body":"nobody wants to talk about it,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":750.5,"endTime":753.68,"body":"even when you're talking to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":750.5,"endTime":753.68,"body":"like, parents who are aging. You"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":753.68,"endTime":757.07,"body":"know, my age of having those"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":753.68,"endTime":757.07,"body":"conversations with my parents as"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":757.07,"endTime":760.04,"body":"they age, and like, what are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":757.07,"endTime":760.04,"body":"your plans so that I know I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":760.04,"endTime":762.98,"body":"the eldest daughter, what are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":760.04,"endTime":762.98,"body":"some of those things that you're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":762.98,"endTime":764.93,"body":"like? People really should know"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":762.98,"endTime":764.93,"body":"this."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":765.11,"endTime":768.83,"body":"Yeah, yeah. I remember."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":765.11,"endTime":768.83,"body":"I can very vividly remember I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":768.83,"endTime":773.87,"body":"was young, like, maybe eight,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":768.83,"endTime":773.87,"body":"910, years old, and I the the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":773.87,"endTime":776.42,"body":"thought just popped into my head"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":773.87,"endTime":776.42,"body":"one day, and I asked my mom. I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":776.42,"endTime":778.91,"body":"was like, what will happen to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":776.42,"endTime":778.91,"body":"Grandma's house when she dies?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":779.48,"endTime":782.06,"body":"Because she lived there alone,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":779.48,"endTime":782.06,"body":"her husband had died a long time"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":782.06,"endTime":785.66,"body":"prior. My grandfather died well"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":782.06,"endTime":785.66,"body":"before I was born, and my mom"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":785.9,"endTime":789.41,"body":"looked at me aghast and just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":785.9,"endTime":789.41,"body":"said, That's don't she just"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":789.41,"endTime":792.08,"body":"seemed horrified that I even"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":789.41,"endTime":792.08,"body":"asked that question. I didn't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":792.08,"endTime":795.71,"body":"know any better at the time. But"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":792.08,"endTime":795.71,"body":"these are valid questions, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":795.71,"endTime":799.25,"body":"we can't be afraid of those. You"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":795.71,"endTime":799.25,"body":"know, I would hope if somebody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":799.25,"endTime":801.2,"body":"were to ask you what would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":799.25,"endTime":801.2,"body":"happen to your home if you pass"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":801.2,"endTime":804.71,"body":"away, you would have an answer"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":801.2,"endTime":804.71,"body":"right away. If you don't that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":804.71,"endTime":807.5,"body":"might I'm hoping that would also"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":804.71,"endTime":807.5,"body":"make that trigger in your brain"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":807.5,"endTime":810.02,"body":"to say, I need to figure this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":807.5,"endTime":810.02,"body":"out so I know what will happen"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":810.02,"endTime":813.74,"body":"with my home when I die. The"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":810.02,"endTime":813.74,"body":"bank would probably just take"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":813.74,"endTime":818.99,"body":"mine. But, you know, I still owe"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":813.74,"endTime":818.99,"body":"on it. But you're right. We are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":818.99,"endTime":822.83,"body":"way too scared to talk about"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":818.99,"endTime":822.83,"body":"these things. And me being a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":822.83,"endTime":825.14,"body":"death doula, I talk about death"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":822.83,"endTime":825.14,"body":"and dying all day long, so it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":825.14,"endTime":828.56,"body":"doesn't faze me. I also respect"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":825.14,"endTime":828.56,"body":"that it's it's a scary subject"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":828.56,"endTime":831.77,"body":"for a lot of people. But if I,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":828.56,"endTime":831.77,"body":"if nothing else, if I can"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":831.77,"endTime":833.93,"body":"encourage people to know that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":831.77,"endTime":833.93,"body":"talking about it doesn't make it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":833.93,"endTime":837.98,"body":"happen. I promise you, bringing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":833.93,"endTime":837.98,"body":"up death doesn't make somebody"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":837.98,"endTime":839.78,"body":"die. It's not how that works."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":840.41,"endTime":842.54,"body":"Thank you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":840.41,"endTime":842.54,"body":"for saying that. I almost feel"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":842.54,"endTime":845.54,"body":"like that's probably the most"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":842.54,"endTime":845.54,"body":"important thing that people"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":845.54,"endTime":848.75,"body":"don't know yet, that they need"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":845.54,"endTime":848.75,"body":"to know. There's so much,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":848.78,"endTime":852.14,"body":"especially in the wellness"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":848.78,"endTime":852.14,"body":"space, there's so much layer of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":852.14,"endTime":856.31,"body":"manifestation, like speak it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":852.14,"endTime":856.31,"body":"into the existence. And so I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":856.31,"endTime":861.41,"body":"think in a lot of ways, that way"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":856.31,"endTime":861.41,"body":"of talking about things kind of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":861.41,"endTime":865.19,"body":"reinforces this idea that you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":861.41,"endTime":865.19,"body":"should, don't talk about the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":865.19,"endTime":869.18,"body":"quote, unquote negative things,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":865.19,"endTime":869.18,"body":"because if you say them right,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":869.54,"endTime":872.87,"body":"then they'll be there. Except"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":869.54,"endTime":872.87,"body":"that oftentimes that means that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":872.87,"endTime":875.6,"body":"we're, like, not talking about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":872.87,"endTime":875.6,"body":"things that actually are there"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":876.11,"endTime":877.07,"body":"you need to talk about,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":877.49,"endTime":880.22,"body":"Yeah, well, and"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":877.49,"endTime":880.22,"body":"grief is the same way we don't"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":880.22,"endTime":883.7,"body":"talk about grieving and grief,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":880.22,"endTime":883.7,"body":"and I'm a I do grief coaching as"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":883.7,"endTime":886.49,"body":"well, and I also work with"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":883.7,"endTime":886.49,"body":"families after their person has"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":886.49,"endTime":889.85,"body":"passed away, to help them"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":886.49,"endTime":889.85,"body":"process their grief and get"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":889.85,"endTime":894.83,"body":"through that initial hump. And"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":889.85,"endTime":894.83,"body":"we're not taught as a society or"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":894.83,"endTime":898.01,"body":"as a culture how to grieve, and"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":894.83,"endTime":898.01,"body":"it's going to be different for"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":898.01,"endTime":900.62,"body":"everybody. So there's no"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":898.01,"endTime":900.62,"body":"handbook. There are. Handbooks,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":900.65,"endTime":904.19,"body":"don't get me wrong, but they're"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":900.65,"endTime":904.19,"body":"all, you know, everybody's going"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":904.19,"endTime":907.46,"body":"to be different. Some people are"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":904.19,"endTime":907.46,"body":"going to, like, ball their eyes"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":907.46,"endTime":909.56,"body":"out and scream and cry. Some"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":907.46,"endTime":909.56,"body":"people are going to hold it in."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":909.56,"endTime":912.92,"body":"Some people are going to express"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":909.56,"endTime":912.92,"body":"it through their art medium."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":912.92,"endTime":915.44,"body":"Like, there's a million ways to"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":912.92,"endTime":915.44,"body":"grieve, but we're not taught"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":915.44,"endTime":919.19,"body":"that it's even okay or to talk"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":915.44,"endTime":919.19,"body":"about it, and so we just sit"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":919.19,"endTime":924.2,"body":"alone with our grief, wondering,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":919.19,"endTime":924.2,"body":"Am I doing it right? You know?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":924.44,"endTime":929.93,"body":"Yeah, you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":924.44,"endTime":929.93,"body":"know, that really stands out to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":929.93,"endTime":934.34,"body":"me, especially because I am a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":929.93,"endTime":934.34,"body":"parent, and a lot of the people"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":934.34,"endTime":941.24,"body":"that I've lost recently had"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":934.34,"endTime":941.24,"body":"young children, and I wonder, as"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":941.24,"endTime":945.56,"body":"a death doula, supporting"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":941.24,"endTime":945.56,"body":"people. What do you see with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":945.56,"endTime":951.89,"body":"that, like, how? How do people"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":945.56,"endTime":951.89,"body":"approach that? Um, both in the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":951.89,"endTime":957.5,"body":"process of losing someone, but"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":951.89,"endTime":957.5,"body":"also in the aftermath of that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":957.5,"endTime":958.13,"body":"loss."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":958.22,"endTime":959.9,"body":"Approaching grief?"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":958.22,"endTime":959.9,"body":"You mean?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":959.9,"endTime":962.3,"body":"Yeah, well,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":959.9,"endTime":962.3,"body":"yeah, grief. I mean, especially"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":962.3,"endTime":965.72,"body":"just as a parent. I mean, I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":962.3,"endTime":965.72,"body":"sure you've worked with people"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":965.72,"endTime":971.63,"body":"who have kids that they're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":965.72,"endTime":971.63,"body":"thinking of and preparing to not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":971.63,"endTime":976.73,"body":"be there for, and then also a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":971.63,"endTime":976.73,"body":"spouse who then has to hold the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":976.73,"endTime":980.42,"body":"family while grieving at the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":976.73,"endTime":980.42,"body":"same time, holding space and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":980.42,"endTime":983.69,"body":"grieving at the same time. Just"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":980.42,"endTime":983.69,"body":"is a lot."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":983.69,"endTime":986.69,"body":"Yeah, it is a lot. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":983.69,"endTime":986.69,"body":"I do see a lot of people in that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":986.69,"endTime":989.87,"body":"situation. And I was in that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":986.69,"endTime":989.87,"body":"position myself. My only brother"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":989.87,"endTime":994.82,"body":"passed away unexpectedly almost"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":989.87,"endTime":994.82,"body":"10 years ago, and I specifically"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":994.82,"endTime":998.48,"body":"remember and I talked about this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":994.82,"endTime":998.48,"body":"with somebody else after his"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":998.48,"endTime":1004.0,"body":"death, my my reaction to this"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":998.48,"endTime":1004.0,"body":"was, I don't have a space, or I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1004.0,"endTime":1007.63,"body":"don't need a space to grieve,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1004.0,"endTime":1007.63,"body":"because I'm just the sister like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1007.96,"endTime":1011.35,"body":"my parents lost their son. They"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1007.96,"endTime":1011.35,"body":"lost their only son, their"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1011.35,"endTime":1015.34,"body":"oldest child, and he had two"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1011.35,"endTime":1015.34,"body":"young children, and they there"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1015.34,"endTime":1018.01,"body":"are these two under 18,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1015.34,"endTime":1018.01,"body":"beautiful children that lost"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1018.01,"endTime":1021.94,"body":"their dad. So there's no space"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1018.01,"endTime":1021.94,"body":"for me to grieve this, because I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1021.94,"endTime":1024.67,"body":"need to help take care of them,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1021.94,"endTime":1024.67,"body":"and I need to help take care of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1024.7,"endTime":1027.91,"body":"my parents and make sure"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1024.7,"endTime":1027.91,"body":"everybody's okay that I never"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1027.97,"endTime":1031.21,"body":"even thought about grieving"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1027.97,"endTime":1031.21,"body":"myself and that it, it came back"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1031.21,"endTime":1035.11,"body":"to bite me real hard. It took a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1031.21,"endTime":1035.11,"body":"few years, but it hit me that i"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1035.14,"endTime":1038.59,"body":"i Never processed that that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1035.14,"endTime":1038.59,"body":"loss, and so it is a tricky"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1038.59,"endTime":1043.6,"body":"space. So I always encourage"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1038.59,"endTime":1043.6,"body":"people to take a ask for help."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1043.72,"endTime":1046.78,"body":"Okay, if you need it, ask for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1043.72,"endTime":1046.78,"body":"help. There is no shame in that."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1047.11,"endTime":1049.42,"body":"And if you're not comfortable"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1047.11,"endTime":1049.42,"body":"talking to friends or family,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1049.42,"endTime":1053.71,"body":"find a therapist, find a grief"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1049.42,"endTime":1053.71,"body":"coach, find a life coach, find"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1053.71,"endTime":1058.12,"body":"somebody, an objective third"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1053.71,"endTime":1058.12,"body":"party, that you can just vent to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1058.81,"endTime":1063.82,"body":"and have that space to process"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1058.81,"endTime":1063.82,"body":"your grief, to talk about it, to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1064.57,"endTime":1067.87,"body":"you know, get through whatever"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1064.57,"endTime":1067.87,"body":"you need to get through so that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1067.87,"endTime":1070.39,"body":"you can be available. Because if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1067.87,"endTime":1070.39,"body":"you don't deal with your it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1070.39,"endTime":1073.57,"body":"like the oxygen mask in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1070.39,"endTime":1073.57,"body":"airplane. If you don't put it on"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1073.57,"endTime":1076.69,"body":"yourself first, you can't help"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1073.57,"endTime":1076.69,"body":"the person next to you. So you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1076.69,"endTime":1078.94,"body":"have to take care of yourself if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1076.69,"endTime":1078.94,"body":"you want to take care of other"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1078.94,"endTime":1080.32,"body":"people. 100%"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1080.0,"endTime":1083.87,"body":"Yeah. So"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1080.0,"endTime":1083.87,"body":"what does it look like when"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1083.87,"endTime":1087.35,"body":"you're helping people with that,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1083.87,"endTime":1087.35,"body":"like, how, what is there a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1087.35,"endTime":1089.45,"body":"process? I mean, I know we're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1087.35,"endTime":1089.45,"body":"just talking about, like,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1089.45,"endTime":1092.48,"body":"there's no, like, one size fits"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1089.45,"endTime":1092.48,"body":"all process when it comes to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1092.48,"endTime":1095.0,"body":"grief, even though, like, five"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1092.48,"endTime":1095.0,"body":"stages of grief. Well, we know"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1095.0,"endTime":1099.11,"body":"that those are all over the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1095.0,"endTime":1099.11,"body":"place. They're not just five,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1099.11,"endTime":1102.17,"body":"and they definitely don't go"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1099.11,"endTime":1102.17,"body":"into order, and they show up"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1102.2,"endTime":1105.38,"body":"even when you thought that they"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1102.2,"endTime":1105.38,"body":"were not there anymore, and all"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1105.38,"endTime":1105.95,"body":"of that."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1106.01,"endTime":1108.53,"body":"It's not a to do"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1106.01,"endTime":1108.53,"body":"list. You don't check them off."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1109.07,"endTime":1111.5,"body":"It's not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1109.07,"endTime":1111.5,"body":"into it's not a to do list. Even"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1111.5,"endTime":1113.99,"body":"if you want it to be a to do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1111.5,"endTime":1113.99,"body":"list, there's definitely been"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1113.99,"endTime":1116.66,"body":"some, some griefs that I've"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1113.99,"endTime":1116.66,"body":"walked through. I'm like, Okay,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1116.66,"endTime":1121.46,"body":"could we just check that one now"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1116.66,"endTime":1121.46,"body":"and maybe it can be done."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1121.49,"endTime":1121.82,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1122.12,"endTime":1123.56,"body":"and it's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1122.12,"endTime":1123.56,"body":"not how it works at all,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1123.56,"endTime":1125.75,"body":"Yeah. And some"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1123.56,"endTime":1125.75,"body":"people never get to acceptance."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1126.59,"endTime":1129.35,"body":"Some people just never, never"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1126.59,"endTime":1129.35,"body":"get to that acceptance level."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1129.38,"endTime":1133.55,"body":"And that's that's okay, you"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1129.38,"endTime":1133.55,"body":"know, it's gonna look different"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1133.55,"endTime":1138.74,"body":"for those people. But as far as"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1133.55,"endTime":1138.74,"body":"like a process, the biggest and"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1138.74,"endTime":1142.01,"body":"most important thing I can do is"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1138.74,"endTime":1142.01,"body":"just giving them a space to talk"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1142.01,"endTime":1145.43,"body":"about it. Because, like I said,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1142.01,"endTime":1145.43,"body":"especially those who have other"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1145.43,"endTime":1147.98,"body":"family members who have suffered"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1145.43,"endTime":1147.98,"body":"the same loss, or that, you"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1147.98,"endTime":1150.56,"body":"know, lost the same person or"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1147.98,"endTime":1150.56,"body":"thing, or whatever it might be,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1151.31,"endTime":1153.95,"body":"it's hard for them to talk about"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1151.31,"endTime":1153.95,"body":"that with each other, and it's"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1153.95,"endTime":1156.95,"body":"hard for them to deal with their"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1153.95,"endTime":1156.95,"body":"own when they're trying to deal"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1156.95,"endTime":1160.04,"body":"with everybody else's grief as"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1156.95,"endTime":1160.04,"body":"well and keep maybe keeping the"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1160.04,"endTime":1163.25,"body":"house together, keeping a job."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1160.04,"endTime":1163.25,"body":"So if nothing else, giving them"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1163.25,"endTime":1168.65,"body":"an hour or two a week to just"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1163.25,"endTime":1168.65,"body":"talk it out is invaluable. You"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1168.65,"endTime":1170.54,"body":"know, you you understand that"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1168.65,"endTime":1170.54,"body":"too."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1170.57,"endTime":1170.96,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1171.02,"endTime":1173.75,"body":"Like just giving"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1171.02,"endTime":1173.75,"body":"people that space, but I help"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1173.75,"endTime":1176.78,"body":"people understand where they're,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1173.75,"endTime":1176.78,"body":"you know, where they're not"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1176.78,"endTime":1179.57,"body":"facing it, and help them with"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1176.78,"endTime":1179.57,"body":"grounding techniques to get"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1179.57,"endTime":1183.38,"body":"through their day to day and"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1179.57,"endTime":1183.38,"body":"other coping mechanisms they can"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1183.38,"endTime":1186.35,"body":"for one, if they're not with me"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1183.38,"endTime":1186.35,"body":"and they're with, you know, at"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1186.35,"endTime":1188.81,"body":"their job or with their kids or"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1186.35,"endTime":1188.81,"body":"wherever, and it hits and it"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1188.81,"endTime":1192.02,"body":"hits hard, what can we do in"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1188.81,"endTime":1192.02,"body":"that moment to, you know,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1192.02,"endTime":1194.57,"body":"recenter yourself so that you"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1192.02,"endTime":1194.57,"body":"can get to yourself to a safe"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1194.57,"endTime":1195.17,"body":"space?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1195.29,"endTime":1198.17,"body":"Yeah, yeah."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1195.29,"endTime":1198.17,"body":"That makes a lot of sense. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1198.74,"endTime":1202.82,"body":"you have a podcast. And I was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1198.74,"endTime":1202.82,"body":"listening to it, and I love how"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1202.85,"endTime":1209.84,"body":"you approach things with a lot"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1202.85,"endTime":1209.84,"body":"of care, and also you talk about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1209.84,"endTime":1214.04,"body":"humor. And so, you know, when we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1209.84,"endTime":1214.04,"body":"talk about grief, I think"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1214.04,"endTime":1217.43,"body":"oftentimes we forget that we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1214.04,"endTime":1217.43,"body":"have a full range of emotions"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1217.49,"endTime":1221.96,"body":"when we are talking about stuff,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1217.49,"endTime":1221.96,"body":"especially if it's close to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1221.96,"endTime":1224.99,"body":"somebody, we do need somebody"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1221.96,"endTime":1224.99,"body":"else to talk to that's not so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1224.99,"endTime":1228.77,"body":"directly impacted by it, because"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1224.99,"endTime":1228.77,"body":"to be able to be irreverent"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1228.83,"endTime":1232.73,"body":"about something, yeah, that is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1228.83,"endTime":1232.73,"body":"going to have such an impact on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1232.73,"endTime":1237.86,"body":"somebody else's life. Or to, you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1232.73,"endTime":1237.86,"body":"know, have humor about it, or to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1237.89,"endTime":1241.76,"body":"really talk about logistics of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1237.89,"endTime":1241.76,"body":"it, or any of those things it's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1241.79,"endTime":1245.99,"body":"it's hard to do when it's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1241.79,"endTime":1245.99,"body":"someone who's impacted. So I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1245.99,"endTime":1250.85,"body":"appreciate that you engage that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1245.99,"endTime":1250.85,"body":"full range of experience,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1250.85,"endTime":1253.85,"body":"because we're still human, even"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1250.85,"endTime":1253.85,"body":"in all layers of these"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1253.85,"endTime":1254.9,"body":"processes."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1255.11,"endTime":1257.99,"body":"Yeah, absolutely. And"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1255.11,"endTime":1257.99,"body":"there's going to be days where"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1258.29,"endTime":1260.66,"body":"you are going to need to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1258.29,"endTime":1260.66,"body":"angry, you're going to need to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1260.66,"endTime":1263.72,"body":"scream. You might, you know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1260.66,"endTime":1263.72,"body":"punch a pillow or do something"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1263.72,"endTime":1266.87,"body":"constructive with your anger. Go"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1263.72,"endTime":1266.87,"body":"for, I usually go for a run or"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1267.17,"endTime":1270.89,"body":"an aggressive bike ride if I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1267.17,"endTime":1270.89,"body":"have to, if I'm in that anger"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1270.89,"endTime":1275.42,"body":"space to help work that energy"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1270.89,"endTime":1275.42,"body":"out. Or, you know, you might be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1275.42,"endTime":1278.0,"body":"in a space that day where you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1275.42,"endTime":1278.0,"body":"just need to cry and be alone,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1278.03,"endTime":1281.9,"body":"or cut out everything altogether"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1278.03,"endTime":1281.9,"body":"and just Doom scroll on your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1281.9,"endTime":1285.62,"body":"social media. We poo, poo doing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1281.9,"endTime":1285.62,"body":"that. But sometimes you need"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1285.62,"endTime":1288.44,"body":"that to distract yourself."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1285.62,"endTime":1288.44,"body":"That's gonna work. I scroll"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1288.44,"endTime":1291.14,"body":"Tiktok sometimes for like, two"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1288.44,"endTime":1291.14,"body":"hours when I'm upset."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1291.5,"endTime":1292.07,"body":"Oh yeah,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1292.27,"endTime":1294.61,"body":"You know? And"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1292.27,"endTime":1294.61,"body":"sometimes you need to laugh at"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1294.61,"endTime":1298.09,"body":"it, like we absolutely had"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1294.61,"endTime":1298.09,"body":"moments of laughter after my"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1298.09,"endTime":1302.02,"body":"brother passed away. I tell the"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1298.09,"endTime":1302.02,"body":"story a lot. So if you've if"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1302.02,"endTime":1303.73,"body":"anybody's listening to my"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1302.02,"endTime":1303.73,"body":"podcast, they've heard it a"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1303.73,"endTime":1308.05,"body":"million times. But we had my"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1303.73,"endTime":1308.05,"body":"brother cremated, and we have a"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1308.05,"endTime":1311.29,"body":"plot, a family plot, where we"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1308.05,"endTime":1311.29,"body":"were putting his ashes, and this"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1311.29,"endTime":1314.53,"body":"was a year after he had died,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1311.29,"endTime":1314.53,"body":"and we were driving to the"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1314.53,"endTime":1316.54,"body":"cemetery, my parents were the"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1314.53,"endTime":1316.54,"body":"front seat, and I was in the"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1316.54,"endTime":1319.18,"body":"back seat with the urn, and I"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1316.54,"endTime":1319.18,"body":"kept joking. I was like, \"Mom!"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1319.21,"endTime":1322.45,"body":"Scott's on my side of the car!\""},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1319.21,"endTime":1322.45,"body":"like we did when we were kids."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1323.14,"endTime":1325.66,"body":"My mom, bless her heart, turned"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1323.14,"endTime":1325.66,"body":"around, said, \"We will turn this"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1325.66,"endTime":1330.16,"body":"car around and go home!\" So she"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1325.66,"endTime":1330.16,"body":"could have been upset at me,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1330.16,"endTime":1332.65,"body":"because it was such a it was"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1330.16,"endTime":1332.65,"body":"such a down day, because we had"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1332.65,"endTime":1335.38,"body":"all spent a year and we were"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1332.65,"endTime":1335.38,"body":"starting to come out of our"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1335.38,"endTime":1337.96,"body":"grief, and now we had this"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1335.38,"endTime":1337.96,"body":"again, and it was just such a"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1338.32,"endTime":1340.72,"body":"somber thing, and I couldn't"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1338.32,"endTime":1340.72,"body":"take it anymore?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1341.77,"endTime":1345.01,"body":"Yeah, so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1341.77,"endTime":1345.01,"body":"I'm curious how you got into"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1345.01,"endTime":1345.97,"body":"this work."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1346.84,"endTime":1350.5,"body":"Yeah. I had heard"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1346.84,"endTime":1350.5,"body":"about death doulas quite a while"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1350.5,"endTime":1354.01,"body":"back, probably eight or nine"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1350.5,"endTime":1354.01,"body":"years ago on a YouTube video."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1354.01,"endTime":1357.22,"body":"And I was like, what a flipping"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1354.01,"endTime":1357.22,"body":"cool thing that is. And I"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1357.22,"endTime":1360.46,"body":"started, like, trying to find"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1357.22,"endTime":1360.46,"body":"some information on there just"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1360.46,"endTime":1363.28,"body":"wasn't much at that time because"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1360.46,"endTime":1363.28,"body":"it's such a relatively new"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1363.28,"endTime":1366.55,"body":"profession. It's not a new"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1363.28,"endTime":1366.55,"body":"profession. It's new as death"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1366.55,"endTime":1369.31,"body":"doula as we know it. Right now,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1366.55,"endTime":1369.31,"body":"people have been doing what we"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1369.31,"endTime":1373.99,"body":"do for ever, but as an actual"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1369.31,"endTime":1373.99,"body":"like, scope of work as a death"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1373.99,"endTime":1377.02,"body":"doula is relatively new, and I"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1373.99,"endTime":1377.02,"body":"couldn't find a ton of"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1377.02,"endTime":1380.05,"body":"information on it, but I just"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1377.02,"endTime":1380.05,"body":"kept like, I hear little bits"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1380.05,"endTime":1382.99,"body":"and find random articles. And I"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1380.05,"endTime":1382.99,"body":"just kept thinking it was such a"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1383.5,"endTime":1387.07,"body":"such a cool thing, and I started"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1383.5,"endTime":1387.07,"body":"volunteering at a hospice, and I"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1387.07,"endTime":1392.32,"body":"just, I just felt so natural. It"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1387.07,"endTime":1392.32,"body":"felt like home to me to be doing"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1392.32,"endTime":1396.67,"body":"this. And then covid, like I"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1392.32,"endTime":1396.67,"body":"mentioned before, kind of shook"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1396.67,"endTime":1400.06,"body":"up everything with me, and I"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1396.67,"endTime":1400.06,"body":"realized I just was not happy"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1400.06,"endTime":1402.79,"body":"with where I was in my life, and"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1400.06,"endTime":1402.79,"body":"I needed to do something"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1402.82,"endTime":1406.78,"body":"meaningful that gave back to the"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1402.82,"endTime":1406.78,"body":"world in some way, shape or"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1406.78,"endTime":1408.88,"body":"form, because I felt like I'd"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1406.78,"endTime":1408.88,"body":"just been stuck in this"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1409.45,"endTime":1412.72,"body":"corporate life of, you know,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1409.45,"endTime":1412.72,"body":"money and greed and everything"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1412.72,"endTime":1414.61,"body":"else. I'm like, I don't like"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1412.72,"endTime":1414.61,"body":"this. I don't want to do this"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1414.61,"endTime":1419.2,"body":"anymore. I want to live a life"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1414.61,"endTime":1419.2,"body":"that gives back and is more, you"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1419.2,"endTime":1422.05,"body":"know, impactful in some way,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1419.2,"endTime":1422.05,"body":"shape or form, and this death"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1422.05,"endTime":1425.41,"body":"doula thing kept coming up to"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1422.05,"endTime":1425.41,"body":"me. So I was working with a life"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1425.41,"endTime":1427.78,"body":"coach at the time too, and she"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1425.41,"endTime":1427.78,"body":"finally said, so why don't you"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1427.78,"endTime":1432.58,"body":"just do it? It never occurred to"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1427.78,"endTime":1432.58,"body":"me I could just do it. So I"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1432.58,"endTime":1435.76,"body":"found a training and did the"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1432.58,"endTime":1435.76,"body":"went through the training"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1435.76,"endTime":1437.38,"body":"course, and here I am."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1438.01,"endTime":1441.52,"body":"I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1438.01,"endTime":1441.52,"body":"appreciate that a lot, and and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1441.52,"endTime":1446.92,"body":"the work that you do, because if"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1441.52,"endTime":1446.92,"body":"we can't embrace our mortality,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1446.92,"endTime":1451.72,"body":"then we're disconnecting from a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1446.92,"endTime":1451.72,"body":"core part of our humanity, yeah?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1452.26,"endTime":1455.83,"body":"And I think in a lot of spaces,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1452.26,"endTime":1455.83,"body":"like corporate spaces, and it's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1455.83,"endTime":1459.61,"body":"all future focused, but it's not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1455.83,"endTime":1459.61,"body":"too future focused, yeah, right."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1459.61,"endTime":1462.85,"body":"Like, if I just earn enough"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1459.61,"endTime":1462.85,"body":"money, and then I have all this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1462.85,"endTime":1466.51,"body":"stuff, and then I will get to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1462.85,"endTime":1466.51,"body":"retire and do the fun things."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1466.51,"endTime":1470.2,"body":"And I think a lot of that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1466.51,"endTime":1470.2,"body":"thinking is breaking down as"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1470.2,"endTime":1472.6,"body":"we're watching how it's not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1470.2,"endTime":1472.6,"body":"working."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1472.63,"endTime":1474.76,"body":"Yeah, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1472.63,"endTime":1474.76,"body":"retirement is not really a thing"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1474.76,"endTime":1475.36,"body":"anymore."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1475.57,"endTime":1475.96,"body":"Right."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1476.14,"endTime":1477.82,"body":"Well, and how many"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1476.14,"endTime":1477.82,"body":"stores have you heard about the"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1477.82,"endTime":1480.67,"body":"guy who worked his entire life"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1477.82,"endTime":1480.67,"body":"to retirement in two weeks after"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1480.67,"endTime":1482.41,"body":"retired, died of a heart attack."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1482.65,"endTime":1483.91,"body":"Right."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1482.65,"endTime":1483.91,"body":"Well, we're starting to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1483.91,"endTime":1488.74,"body":"recognize the stress impact on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1483.91,"endTime":1488.74,"body":"our bodies, yeah, and all the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1488.74,"endTime":1492.22,"body":"ways that we are living in the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1488.74,"endTime":1492.22,"body":"world that are breaking us down,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1492.25,"endTime":1493.72,"body":"literally. So,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1494.02,"endTime":1494.32,"body":"yeah,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1494.59,"endTime":1497.23,"body":"that is a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1494.59,"endTime":1497.23,"body":"real thing. And so to be able"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1497.23,"endTime":1499.24,"body":"to, you know, to just like,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1497.23,"endTime":1499.24,"body":"well, I'm only going to think"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1499.24,"endTime":1502.9,"body":"this far, but I'm not. Going to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1499.24,"endTime":1502.9,"body":"think that far and recognizing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1502.9,"endTime":1506.74,"body":"that as part of mortality, that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1502.9,"endTime":1506.74,"body":"is part of humanity. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1506.83,"endTime":1511.09,"body":"there's a lot of fear there. I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1506.83,"endTime":1511.09,"body":"think to go that far to think"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1511.09,"endTime":1517.84,"body":"that far, because we are losing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1511.09,"endTime":1517.84,"body":"corporeal existence. We're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1517.84,"endTime":1521.44,"body":"losing the space that we know,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1517.84,"endTime":1521.44,"body":"that we're familiar with, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1521.89,"endTime":1531.52,"body":"and what do you find comes up"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1521.89,"endTime":1531.52,"body":"for people when they start"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1531.52,"endTime":1532.66,"body":"thinking about that?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1532.0,"endTime":1537.34,"body":"I think most people are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1532.0,"endTime":1537.34,"body":"scared when you talk about death"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1537.34,"endTime":1540.4,"body":"or dying and again, this is"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1537.34,"endTime":1540.4,"body":"where our aversion to it comes."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1540.4,"endTime":1544.78,"body":"We don't want to think about it"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1540.4,"endTime":1544.78,"body":"because we're scared, because we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1544.78,"endTime":1548.62,"body":"don't it's it's this thing"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1544.78,"endTime":1548.62,"body":"that's there, that's this big"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1548.62,"endTime":1553.18,"body":"event that kind of you know, for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1548.62,"endTime":1553.18,"body":"all we know, ends it forever for"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1553.18,"endTime":1557.47,"body":"us. And we don't know when it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1553.18,"endTime":1557.47,"body":"coming. None of us know even I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1557.47,"endTime":1559.87,"body":"mean, you might have a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1557.47,"endTime":1559.87,"body":"diagnosis. They might say you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1559.87,"endTime":1564.22,"body":"have XYZ time, but you still"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1559.87,"endTime":1564.22,"body":"just, most of us, at any given"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1564.22,"endTime":1567.88,"body":"point, have no idea when we're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1564.22,"endTime":1567.88,"body":"going to die, and that's scary,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1568.15,"endTime":1571.33,"body":"because you know you have things"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1568.15,"endTime":1571.33,"body":"you want to do, you're living"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1571.33,"endTime":1574.36,"body":"your life, you're you're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1571.33,"endTime":1574.36,"body":"excited, and you have plans, and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1574.36,"endTime":1578.29,"body":"to know that at any moment that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1574.36,"endTime":1578.29,"body":"could be gone. It's It's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1578.29,"endTime":1581.92,"body":"terrifying for people, and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1578.29,"endTime":1581.92,"body":"think that's the point most"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1581.92,"endTime":1584.35,"body":"people are at, is they don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1581.92,"endTime":1584.35,"body":"unders. You know, we don't know"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1584.35,"endTime":1586.81,"body":"what's going to happen. We don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1584.35,"endTime":1586.81,"body":"know how it's going to go. We"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1586.81,"endTime":1588.55,"body":"just know that one day we're"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1586.81,"endTime":1588.55,"body":"going to die and this will all"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1588.55,"endTime":1592.51,"body":"be over. And I always encourage"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1588.55,"endTime":1592.51,"body":"people, it's it's okay to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1592.51,"endTime":1595.75,"body":"scared of that. I am too, of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1592.51,"endTime":1595.75,"body":"course, I am. I've got a million"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1595.75,"endTime":1598.99,"body":"plans I'd like to do before the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1595.75,"endTime":1598.99,"body":"end of my life, but I don't"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1598.99,"endTime":1602.41,"body":"know. I could get hit by a bus"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1598.99,"endTime":1602.41,"body":"tomorrow. But, you know, use"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1602.41,"endTime":1606.16,"body":"that to embrace today. You know,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1602.41,"endTime":1606.16,"body":"I'm not saying you have to Yolo"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1606.19,"endTime":1608.44,"body":"every single day of your life,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1606.19,"endTime":1608.44,"body":"because that's just not"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1608.44,"endTime":1612.46,"body":"feasible. But, like, I took a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1608.44,"endTime":1612.46,"body":"huge risk leaving a corporate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1612.46,"endTime":1616.78,"body":"job to open up my own business"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1612.46,"endTime":1616.78,"body":"as a death doula, like, you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1616.78,"endTime":1621.07,"body":"know, but I also recognize,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1616.78,"endTime":1621.07,"body":"like, I could die any day, and I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1621.07,"endTime":1625.39,"body":"don't want to die knowing I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1621.07,"endTime":1625.39,"body":"didn't pursue this. So if, if"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1625.39,"endTime":1628.06,"body":"you're trying to make that"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1625.39,"endTime":1628.06,"body":"decision, make it. Just do it."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1628.06,"endTime":1629.68,"body":"Life is too short."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1630.13,"endTime":1634.6,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1630.13,"endTime":1634.6,"body":"there's a line at the end of the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1634.6,"endTime":1638.89,"body":"Red Hot Chili Peppers song,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1634.6,"endTime":1638.89,"body":"\"Can't Stop\" that I've always"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1639.28,"endTime":1642.82,"body":"appreciated, and it's \"this life"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1639.28,"endTime":1642.82,"body":"is more than just a read"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1642.82,"endTime":1644.17,"body":"through.\" And it just reminds me"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1642.82,"endTime":1644.17,"body":"that this isn't a dress"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1644.2,"endTime":1654.19,"body":"rehearsal. We don't get another"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1644.2,"endTime":1654.19,"body":"one, at least that we're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1654.19,"endTime":1661.18,"body":"conscious of. Most of us, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1654.19,"endTime":1661.18,"body":"suppose, not to project any"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1661.6,"endTime":1667.84,"body":"belief systems on anybody so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1661.6,"endTime":1667.84,"body":"but, you know, there's is the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1667.84,"endTime":1670.9,"body":"reason why I coach the way I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1667.84,"endTime":1670.9,"body":"coach is very much about like,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1670.9,"endTime":1674.56,"body":"what are we bringing into our"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1670.9,"endTime":1674.56,"body":"now space? Not like, what do you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1674.56,"endTime":1677.95,"body":"imagine you'll experience in the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1674.56,"endTime":1677.95,"body":"future, and what does it look"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1677.95,"endTime":1682.87,"body":"like to bring that into our now"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1677.95,"endTime":1682.87,"body":"space? Because our means create"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1682.87,"endTime":1683.56,"body":"our ends,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1684.16,"endTime":1684.52,"body":"yeah,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1685.33,"endTime":1687.13,"body":"in life,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1685.33,"endTime":1687.13,"body":"and that way you know that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1687.13,"endTime":1689.59,"body":"you're like, you're living fully"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1687.13,"endTime":1689.59,"body":"and not just waiting for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1689.59,"endTime":1692.05,"body":"something else to happen."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1689.59,"endTime":1692.05,"body":"Because when we live like that,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1692.05,"endTime":1695.8,"body":"we're always chasing something"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1692.05,"endTime":1695.8,"body":"anyway. So it's like, you're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1695.8,"endTime":1699.01,"body":"never actually gonna have it."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1695.8,"endTime":1699.01,"body":"You're just gonna chase it."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1699.67,"endTime":1700.12,"body":"Yeah?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1701.02,"endTime":1703.63,"body":"So I know"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1701.02,"endTime":1703.63,"body":"that for the work that I do,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1703.63,"endTime":1710.2,"body":"it's very personal as well, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1703.63,"endTime":1710.2,"body":"there's just a lot of different"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1710.2,"endTime":1714.13,"body":"ways of approaching things. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1710.2,"endTime":1714.13,"body":"for people who don't necessarily"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1714.13,"endTime":1717.19,"body":"know I you have an episode on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1714.13,"endTime":1717.19,"body":"your podcast, they're talking"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1717.19,"endTime":1721.42,"body":"about hospice and breaking down"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1717.19,"endTime":1721.42,"body":"myths around hospice."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1721.42,"endTime":1721.81,"body":"Oh, yeah."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1721.81,"endTime":1723.88,"body":"And like,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1721.81,"endTime":1723.88,"body":"helping people engage hospice?"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1723.94,"endTime":1724.27,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1724.33,"endTime":1726.01,"body":"and it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1724.33,"endTime":1726.01,"body":"brought to mind as I was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1726.01,"endTime":1728.59,"body":"listening to it, and I'll have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1726.01,"endTime":1728.59,"body":"it linked in the show notes for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1728.59,"endTime":1733.27,"body":"people who want to go check that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1728.59,"endTime":1733.27,"body":"out. But what would you like"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1733.27,"endTime":1738.64,"body":"people to know about finding"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1733.27,"endTime":1738.64,"body":"care? Like, and I think about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1738.64,"endTime":1740.68,"body":"like, what are the things to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1738.64,"endTime":1740.68,"body":"look for when they're looking"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1740.68,"endTime":1746.89,"body":"for support around death,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1740.68,"endTime":1746.89,"body":"whether it's their own or a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1746.89,"endTime":1751.57,"body":"loved ones. What are things that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1746.89,"endTime":1751.57,"body":"people should look for? What are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1751.6,"endTime":1756.28,"body":"like red flags? Because there"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1751.6,"endTime":1756.28,"body":"are certainly practitioners out"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1756.28,"endTime":1760.87,"body":"there who are not necessarily in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1756.28,"endTime":1760.87,"body":"alignment with the people who"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1760.87,"endTime":1765.49,"body":"are searching. So what should"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1760.87,"endTime":1765.49,"body":"people be looking for, both in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1765.55,"endTime":1768.19,"body":"the ways that are helpful, in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1765.55,"endTime":1768.19,"body":"the ways that are maybe not?"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1768.37,"endTime":1771.79,"body":"Yeah. Well, first"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1768.37,"endTime":1771.79,"body":"thing I would say is, like,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1771.82,"endTime":1774.7,"body":"especially if it comes to"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1771.82,"endTime":1774.7,"body":"hospice, you're allowed to shop"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1774.7,"endTime":1778.87,"body":"around, and you're also allowed"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1774.7,"endTime":1778.87,"body":"to fire your hospice. If you"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1778.87,"endTime":1782.32,"body":"start on the team and it's not"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1778.87,"endTime":1782.32,"body":"working and you don't like them,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1782.65,"endTime":1786.82,"body":"you can end that there's there's"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1782.65,"endTime":1786.82,"body":"no like, sorry, you're in it"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1786.82,"endTime":1790.6,"body":"until the end, you can find a"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1786.82,"endTime":1790.6,"body":"different hospice, but shop"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1790.6,"endTime":1793.48,"body":"around. Don't be afraid to call"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1790.6,"endTime":1793.48,"body":"several have them come to your"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1793.48,"endTime":1796.06,"body":"house. Chat with them. Most of"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1793.48,"endTime":1796.06,"body":"them will come to the house for"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1796.21,"endTime":1799.99,"body":"screening anyway, to go over"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1796.21,"endTime":1799.99,"body":"eligibility requirements. But."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1800.02,"endTime":1802.48,"body":"And same with home like, if"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1800.02,"endTime":1802.48,"body":"you're getting home health care,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1802.87,"endTime":1807.49,"body":"shop around and you can fire"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1802.87,"endTime":1807.49,"body":"them at any point too. Do your"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1807.49,"endTime":1809.92,"body":"research. If you're going to"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1807.49,"endTime":1809.92,"body":"have strangers coming in and out"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1809.92,"endTime":1813.13,"body":"of your house, you know, make"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1809.92,"endTime":1813.13,"body":"sure you're with a reputable"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1813.13,"endTime":1816.37,"body":"organization that has any"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1813.13,"endTime":1816.37,"body":"licenses they might need,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1816.49,"endTime":1818.68,"body":"especially when it comes to"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1816.49,"endTime":1818.68,"body":"nurses and nursing staff. Do"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1818.68,"endTime":1822.55,"body":"they require licenses? Make sure"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1818.68,"endTime":1822.55,"body":"they have all that so, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1822.58,"endTime":1823.84,"body":"don't be afraid to research."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1824.59,"endTime":1827.08,"body":"And what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1824.59,"endTime":1827.08,"body":"about hiring someone like you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1828.68,"endTime":1831.71,"body":"Now death doulas,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1828.68,"endTime":1831.71,"body":"depending on where you are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1831.71,"endTime":1835.19,"body":"within the country, like there's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1831.71,"endTime":1835.19,"body":"maybe a dozen of us in the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1835.19,"endTime":1839.27,"body":"entire state of Ohio. I'm in"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1835.19,"endTime":1839.27,"body":"Columbus, Ohio. If you go to New"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1839.27,"endTime":1843.5,"body":"York or Oregon, you're going to"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1839.27,"endTime":1843.5,"body":"have, you know, a lot to choose"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1843.5,"endTime":1848.0,"body":"from. So same thing. Feel free"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1843.5,"endTime":1848.0,"body":"to shop around. But any one of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1848.0,"endTime":1851.48,"body":"us that I've ever spoken with,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1848.0,"endTime":1851.48,"body":"we'll do a couple introductory"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1851.48,"endTime":1854.96,"body":"sessions. We'll meet with you,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1851.48,"endTime":1854.96,"body":"we'll chat with you to kind of"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1854.96,"endTime":1858.26,"body":"make sure that we're all on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1854.96,"endTime":1858.26,"body":"same page and you vibe well with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1858.26,"endTime":1861.83,"body":"that person, like a birth doula,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1858.26,"endTime":1861.83,"body":"right? I've, I've never been"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1861.83,"endTime":1864.86,"body":"through the birthing process,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1861.83,"endTime":1864.86,"body":"but I would imagine that's such"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1864.86,"endTime":1868.46,"body":"an intimate thing that I would"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1864.86,"endTime":1868.46,"body":"want somebody I trust and that I"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1868.46,"endTime":1872.15,"body":"really get along with to be"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1868.46,"endTime":1872.15,"body":"present for that. And same with"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1872.15,"endTime":1876.29,"body":"dying. Dying is a very intimate"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1872.15,"endTime":1876.29,"body":"experience, and if somebody's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1876.29,"endTime":1879.77,"body":"going to be right there with you"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1876.29,"endTime":1879.77,"body":"the whole time, holding your"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1879.77,"endTime":1882.08,"body":"hand and walking you through it,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1879.77,"endTime":1882.08,"body":"you want to make sure it's"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1882.08,"endTime":1885.11,"body":"somebody you get along with and"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1882.08,"endTime":1885.11,"body":"that you trust."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1885.62,"endTime":1887.09,"body":"Is this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1885.62,"endTime":1887.09,"body":"something that you work with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1887.09,"endTime":1888.83,"body":"people virtually, or is it all"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1887.09,"endTime":1888.83,"body":"in person?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1889.53,"endTime":1893.64,"body":"doula work. I will do a"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1889.53,"endTime":1893.64,"body":"lot of my initial meetings via"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1893.64,"endTime":1901.65,"body":"zoom or over the phone until we"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1893.64,"endTime":1901.65,"body":"all are comfortable with each"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1901.8,"endTime":1907.11,"body":"other, and then it'll really"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1901.8,"endTime":1907.11,"body":"kind of depend on the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1907.11,"endTime":1911.16,"body":"circumstance where they are, but"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1907.11,"endTime":1911.16,"body":"I will be with them at some"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1911.16,"endTime":1914.94,"body":"point. I can do full virtual"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1911.16,"endTime":1914.94,"body":"but, you know, obviously, when"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1914.94,"endTime":1919.2,"body":"it comes to the person being"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1914.94,"endTime":1919.2,"body":"actively dying, it's preferable"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1919.2,"endTime":1922.02,"body":"for me to be physically present"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1919.2,"endTime":1922.02,"body":"so I can make sure things are"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":1922.02,"endTime":1923.16,"body":"going the way they want it to."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1923.31,"endTime":1927.03,"body":"Yeah, that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1923.31,"endTime":1927.03,"body":"makes sense. If there's a last"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1927.06,"endTime":1930.87,"body":"thing that you would want people"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1927.06,"endTime":1930.87,"body":"to know about the work that you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1930.87,"endTime":1935.91,"body":"do. I mean, obviously we want to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1930.87,"endTime":1935.91,"body":"encourage people to go listen to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1935.91,"endTime":1939.33,"body":"your podcast where they can get"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1935.91,"endTime":1939.33,"body":"all the information. But is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1939.33,"endTime":1942.09,"body":"there something that you you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1939.33,"endTime":1942.09,"body":"would like the people listening"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1942.09,"endTime":1943.62,"body":"to take away."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1944.22,"endTime":1948.36,"body":"Yeah, we are a lot"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1944.22,"endTime":1948.36,"body":"of people kind of misunderstand"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1948.36,"endTime":1950.61,"body":"what we do. And yes, we are"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1948.36,"endTime":1950.61,"body":"there to hold your hand"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1950.61,"endTime":1953.85,"body":"physically as you pass away. But"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1950.61,"endTime":1953.85,"body":"there's so much more we can do."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1954.36,"endTime":1959.07,"body":"And we work with people after a"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1954.36,"endTime":1959.07,"body":"sudden loss. We work with people"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1959.4,"endTime":1963.36,"body":"who are not even actively dying"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1959.4,"endTime":1963.36,"body":"yet or nowhere near their death,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1963.36,"endTime":1967.47,"body":"store, anything around end of"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1963.36,"endTime":1967.47,"body":"life, work we can help with,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1967.5,"endTime":1971.19,"body":"even if you meet with us just"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1967.5,"endTime":1971.19,"body":"one time to help understand your"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1971.19,"endTime":1973.2,"body":"your Advanced Directive,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1971.19,"endTime":1973.2,"body":"paperwork, what you need, what"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1973.2,"endTime":1976.08,"body":"you don't need. You know, I"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1973.2,"endTime":1976.08,"body":"could talk all day long about"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1976.08,"endTime":1979.29,"body":"all the different services we"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1976.08,"endTime":1979.29,"body":"could provide. So yeah, don't be"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1979.29,"endTime":1982.86,"body":"afraid to reach out. Like, if"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1979.29,"endTime":1982.86,"body":"you just have questions, anybody"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1982.86,"endTime":1984.72,"body":"who's in this line of work,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1982.86,"endTime":1984.72,"body":"we're doing it because we want"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1984.72,"endTime":1988.95,"body":"to, right? I can tell you, we're"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1984.72,"endTime":1988.95,"body":"not in it for the money, but you"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1988.95,"endTime":1991.68,"body":"can... don't be afraid to reach"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1988.95,"endTime":1991.68,"body":"out to us and we'll answer your"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1991.68,"endTime":1993.99,"body":"questions. We're happy to talk"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":1991.68,"endTime":1993.99,"body":"about what we do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1994.05,"endTime":1996.45,"body":"That's so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1994.05,"endTime":1996.45,"body":"important. Because, I mean, I do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1996.45,"endTime":2001.13,"body":"see this also within the with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1996.45,"endTime":2001.13,"body":"people using birth dualism,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2001.13,"endTime":2004.22,"body":"like, I just don't want to deal"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2001.13,"endTime":2004.22,"body":"with finding somebody else. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2004.22,"endTime":2005.96,"body":"like, I don't want to be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2004.22,"endTime":2005.96,"body":"difficult. And like all the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2005.96,"endTime":2011.66,"body":"people pleaser like, I this is,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2005.96,"endTime":2011.66,"body":"this is your life, this is your"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2011.66,"endTime":2015.65,"body":"death. Like, you get to be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2011.66,"endTime":2015.65,"body":"difficult. You're allowed,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2015.71,"endTime":2019.25,"body":"Yeah, and let us do that. There"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2015.71,"endTime":2019.25,"body":"are so many people I've worked"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2019.25,"endTime":2022.88,"body":"with that want are in that space"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2019.25,"endTime":2022.88,"body":"where they're ready to stop"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2022.88,"endTime":2025.4,"body":"treatment, but they're scared to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2022.88,"endTime":2025.4,"body":"because their family doesn't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2025.4,"endTime":2029.3,"body":"want them to. Their family wants"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2025.4,"endTime":2029.3,"body":"them to keep fighting. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2029.33,"endTime":2031.82,"body":"they're, they're ready, they're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2029.33,"endTime":2031.82,"body":"done, you know, they're they're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2031.82,"endTime":2035.66,"body":"past the fighting stage. They"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2031.82,"endTime":2035.66,"body":"just want to end peacefully. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2035.66,"endTime":2038.63,"body":"they're scared to upset the the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2035.66,"endTime":2038.63,"body":"apple cart, so to speak. So I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2038.63,"endTime":2040.88,"body":"like, let me come in and have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2038.63,"endTime":2040.88,"body":"that help navigate that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2040.88,"endTime":2043.58,"body":"conversation with your family."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2040.88,"endTime":2043.58,"body":"You know, I'll do it a gentle"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2043.58,"endTime":2047.27,"body":"way, but let me help that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2043.58,"endTime":2047.27,"body":"conversation happen."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2047.48,"endTime":2050.78,"body":"Yeah. Oh, well, I really"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2047.48,"endTime":2050.78,"body":"appreciate the work that you do."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2051.47,"endTime":2052.73,"body":"Where can people find you?"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2053.03,"endTime":2057.56,"body":"I am on the interwebs."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2053.03,"endTime":2057.56,"body":"My website is nikkitheula.com"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2058.61,"endTime":2062.51,"body":"and it's spelled n, i, k, k, i."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2058.61,"endTime":2062.51,"body":"I'm also on Facebook, Instagram"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2062.51,"endTime":2065.39,"body":"and Tiktok, all at Nikki the"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2062.51,"endTime":2065.39,"body":"death doula, awesome."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2065.45,"endTime":2066.86,"body":"Well, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2065.45,"endTime":2066.86,"body":"will have links in the show"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2066.86,"endTime":2071.03,"body":"notes. I like to wrap up with a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2066.86,"endTime":2071.03,"body":"couple questions,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2071.09,"endTime":2071.42,"body":"Sure."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2071.81,"endTime":2074.06,"body":"First one"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2071.81,"endTime":2074.06,"body":"is, what does it mean to you to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2074.06,"endTime":2075.08,"body":"be unlimited?"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2075.92,"endTime":2079.91,"body":"To be unlimited?"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2075.92,"endTime":2079.91,"body":"Oh, that's a very good question."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2080.36,"endTime":2085.94,"body":"I think that means keeping your"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2080.36,"endTime":2085.94,"body":"mind as open as possible to any"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2085.94,"endTime":2087.35,"body":"and all experiences."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2088.25,"endTime":2093.38,"body":"Yeah, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2088.25,"endTime":2093.38,"body":"when you want to welcome in that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2093.38,"endTime":2096.71,"body":"unlimited feeling, what song do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2093.38,"endTime":2096.71,"body":"you listen to?"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2097.2,"endTime":2102.24,"body":"Oh, there is..."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2097.2,"endTime":2102.24,"body":"ehhh. I listen to really weird,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2102.24,"endTime":2106.44,"body":"obscure music, but there's an"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2102.24,"endTime":2106.44,"body":"artist from the UK called Aphex"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2106.44,"endTime":2109.86,"body":"Twin does techno music. And"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2106.44,"endTime":2109.86,"body":"there's one particular song,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2109.89,"endTime":2114.24,"body":"it's called \"On\" O N and there's"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2109.89,"endTime":2114.24,"body":"no lyrics or anything. But that"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2114.24,"endTime":2118.74,"body":"song always just makes me feel"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2114.24,"endTime":2118.74,"body":"so like open and calm and"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2118.74,"endTime":2120.54,"body":"vibrant all at once. I love that"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2118.74,"endTime":2120.54,"body":"song."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2120.87,"endTime":2123.99,"body":"Cool. Well,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2120.87,"endTime":2123.99,"body":"I will add that to the unlimited"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2123.99,"endTime":2128.13,"body":"podcast playlist so everybody"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2123.99,"endTime":2128.13,"body":"can go check it out."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2128.55,"endTime":2129.09,"body":"Yay."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2129.18,"endTime":2132.51,"body":"And thank"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2129.18,"endTime":2132.51,"body":"you so much Nikki for joining me"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2132.54,"endTime":2135.42,"body":"today and sharing about what you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2132.54,"endTime":2135.42,"body":"do. Really appreciate you."},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2135.96,"endTime":2137.55,"body":"Thank you. Thank"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2135.96,"endTime":2137.55,"body":"you for having me and giving me"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2137.55,"endTime":2140.16,"body":"a space to talk about what I do,"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2137.55,"endTime":2140.16,"body":"because I love talking about"},{"speaker":"Nikki Smith","startTime":2140.19,"endTime":2140.67,"body":"what I do."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2140.94,"endTime":2144.45,"body":"Yay! Thanks"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2140.94,"endTime":2144.45,"body":"for listening. I so appreciate"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2144.45,"endTime":2146.49,"body":"you being here. If you got"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2144.45,"endTime":2146.49,"body":"something out of today's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2146.49,"endTime":2149.97,"body":"episode, please share it, leave"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2146.49,"endTime":2149.97,"body":"me a review, take a screenshot"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2149.97,"endTime":2153.15,"body":"and post it on social with a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2149.97,"endTime":2153.15,"body":"shout out to me. Send it to a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2153.15,"endTime":2157.38,"body":"friend or, you know, all of the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2153.15,"endTime":2157.38,"body":"above. Want to hang out more,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2157.41,"endTime":2161.01,"body":"join me on Instagram, or better"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2157.41,"endTime":2161.01,"body":"yet, get on my mailing list to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2161.01,"endTime":2164.94,"body":"make sure you don't miss out on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2161.01,"endTime":2164.94,"body":"anything, and remember your"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2164.94,"endTime":2168.93,"body":"possibilities are as unlimited"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2164.94,"endTime":2168.93,"body":"as you are. Allow yourself to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2168.93,"endTime":2172.32,"body":"shine, my friend, the world"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2168.93,"endTime":2172.32,"body":"needs your light. See you next"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2172.32,"endTime":2172.71,"body":"time you."}]}