{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":0.0,"endTime":3.137,"body":"Hello my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":0.0,"endTime":3.137,"body":"friends, and welcome to another"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":3.215,"endTime":7.451,"body":"episode of unlimited today. We"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":3.215,"endTime":7.451,"body":"are talking about being"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":7.53,"endTime":12.314,"body":"intentional with when to say"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":7.53,"endTime":12.314,"body":"yes, and we are talking about it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":12.393,"endTime":17.413,"body":"because it has been coming up a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":12.393,"endTime":17.413,"body":"lot for a variety of people, but"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":17.491,"endTime":22.59,"body":"also me. So this is a little bit"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":17.491,"endTime":22.59,"body":"different than what we've talked"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":22.668,"endTime":26.826,"body":"about in the past a lot of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":22.668,"endTime":26.826,"body":"times. In the past, I have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":26.904,"endTime":31.689,"body":"talked about clarifying what to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":26.904,"endTime":31.689,"body":"say yes to. I have an episode"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":31.767,"endTime":36.63,"body":"called clarifying what you want,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":31.767,"endTime":36.63,"body":"as well as a coaching episode"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":36.709,"endTime":41.337,"body":"called How do I find what I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":36.709,"endTime":41.337,"body":"really want, where you can hear"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":41.415,"endTime":46.122,"body":"me work with somebody around"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":41.415,"endTime":46.122,"body":"clarifying that, versus me just"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":46.2,"endTime":51.22,"body":"sharing with you. And I've also"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":46.2,"endTime":51.22,"body":"talked about how to say no, like"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":51.298,"endTime":56.162,"body":"when we don't want to say yes,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":51.298,"endTime":56.162,"body":"because I do work with a lot of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":56.24,"endTime":60.946,"body":"people pleasers, people who are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":56.24,"endTime":60.946,"body":"used to saying yes more than"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":61.025,"endTime":65.496,"body":"they really want to or in places"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":61.025,"endTime":65.496,"body":"that don't align. And so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":65.574,"endTime":70.594,"body":"understanding boundaries, I have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":65.574,"endTime":70.594,"body":"an episode called how to say no"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":70.673,"endTime":75.458,"body":"without guilt. So talking about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":70.673,"endTime":75.458,"body":"where we need to say no, that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":75.536,"endTime":80.164,"body":"maybe we're not saying no, or"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":75.536,"endTime":80.164,"body":"why we're not saying no, this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":80.242,"endTime":84.635,"body":"episode is a little bit"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":80.242,"endTime":84.635,"body":"different, because we're focused"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":84.713,"endTime":89.733,"body":"in on the Yes, and we're focused"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":84.713,"endTime":89.733,"body":"in on the things that interrupt"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":89.812,"endTime":94.754,"body":"our yes, that create tension in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":89.812,"endTime":94.754,"body":"our lives around when we do say"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":94.832,"endTime":99.774,"body":"yes, and particularly when we do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":94.832,"endTime":99.774,"body":"want to say yes, because A lot"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":99.852,"endTime":104.715,"body":"of times we say yes, because we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":99.852,"endTime":104.715,"body":"actually want to do something."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":104.794,"endTime":109.265,"body":"And then there's tension. And so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":104.794,"endTime":109.265,"body":"some places that we have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":109.343,"endTime":114.442,"body":"resistance have to do with those"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":109.343,"endTime":114.442,"body":"places of tension. They could be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":114.52,"endTime":119.07,"body":"values conflict. They could be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":114.52,"endTime":119.07,"body":"fear. There could also be a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":119.148,"endTime":123.854,"body":"misalignment. So there's the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":119.148,"endTime":123.854,"body":"conscious Yes, and then there's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":123.933,"endTime":128.404,"body":"the subconscious Yes, or the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":123.933,"endTime":128.404,"body":"subconscious resistance that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":128.482,"endTime":133.581,"body":"comes up. So we're going to talk"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":128.482,"endTime":133.581,"body":"about all of those pieces. We're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":133.659,"endTime":138.601,"body":"going to talk about considering"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":133.659,"endTime":138.601,"body":"and building our capacity along"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":138.679,"endTime":143.621,"body":"those lines. Is burnout and the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":138.679,"endTime":143.621,"body":"dynamics of burnout. We're also"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":143.699,"endTime":148.719,"body":"going to talk about discernment,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":143.699,"endTime":148.719,"body":"so that idea of intentionality."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":148.798,"endTime":153.896,"body":"When I say yes, what am I saying"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":148.798,"endTime":153.896,"body":"no to? When I say yes, what else"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":153.975,"endTime":158.211,"body":"am I saying yes to? Because"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":153.975,"endTime":158.211,"body":"sometimes those things are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":158.289,"endTime":162.917,"body":"tricky. Sometimes we resist"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":158.289,"endTime":162.917,"body":"saying yes because we're afraid"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":162.995,"endTime":168.094,"body":"of the additional things that we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":162.995,"endTime":168.094,"body":"might also be saying yes to, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":168.172,"endTime":172.957,"body":"then places where we might not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":168.172,"endTime":172.957,"body":"be saying yes that we actually"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":173.035,"endTime":178.134,"body":"need to say yes, especially when"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":173.035,"endTime":178.134,"body":"we're in a period of saying yes,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":178.212,"endTime":182.527,"body":"as well as the value of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":178.212,"endTime":182.527,"body":"unintentionality and where that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":182.605,"endTime":187.311,"body":"can play also in our lives. So"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":182.605,"endTime":187.311,"body":"this is where I would like to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":187.39,"endTime":191.861,"body":"invite you all into a yes as"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":187.39,"endTime":191.861,"body":"well, and that is supporting"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":191.939,"endTime":196.802,"body":"this podcast. I do everything I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":191.939,"endTime":196.802,"body":"do the recording, the editing,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":196.881,"endTime":201.901,"body":"the transcription, the well, AI"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":196.881,"endTime":201.901,"body":"does the transcription, but I go"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":201.979,"endTime":206.999,"body":"through and clean it up and put"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":201.979,"endTime":206.999,"body":"it up and do all the things with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":207.078,"endTime":211.549,"body":"it, but also the social media,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":207.078,"endTime":211.549,"body":"the show notes, all of the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":211.627,"endTime":216.412,"body":"things. And there's a lot that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":211.627,"endTime":216.412,"body":"goes into it, and I would like"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":216.491,"endTime":221.354,"body":"to say yes to doing more with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":216.491,"endTime":221.354,"body":"this podcast, but I can't, at my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":221.432,"endTime":226.06,"body":"current capacity. I need to get"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":221.432,"endTime":226.06,"body":"support to do that, and for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":226.139,"endTime":231.159,"body":"that, I'm probably going to need"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":226.139,"endTime":231.159,"body":"about $200 an episode, which is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":231.237,"endTime":235.708,"body":"about $400 a month. So my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":231.237,"endTime":235.708,"body":"invitation to you is to support"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":235.787,"endTime":239.865,"body":"the podcast. I have a Kofi"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":235.787,"endTime":239.865,"body":"account where I have free"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":239.944,"endTime":244.572,"body":"resources and I share little"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":239.944,"endTime":244.572,"body":"extras and everything. You can"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":244.65,"endTime":249.043,"body":"become a subscriber to the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":244.65,"endTime":249.043,"body":"podcast for a minimum of $5 a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":249.121,"endTime":254.063,"body":"month, which would greatly help"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":249.121,"endTime":254.063,"body":"me feed into this goal of being"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":254.141,"endTime":258.848,"body":"able to hire somebody to help"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":254.141,"endTime":258.848,"body":"with the podcast. You can also"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":258.926,"endTime":263.475,"body":"do a one time donation. Any"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":258.926,"endTime":263.475,"body":"little bit makes a difference,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":263.554,"endTime":268.496,"body":"and it would mean a whole lot to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":263.554,"endTime":268.496,"body":"me, if you enjoy this podcast,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":268.574,"endTime":272.81,"body":"to have your support for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":268.574,"endTime":272.81,"body":"producing it and taking it to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":272.888,"endTime":277.673,"body":"another level. My main thought"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":272.888,"endTime":277.673,"body":"right now is video, what we'll"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":277.751,"endTime":282.222,"body":"see, because video is a whole"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":277.751,"endTime":282.222,"body":"nother layer of editing and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":282.301,"endTime":287.321,"body":"extra work, and so I really have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":282.301,"endTime":287.321,"body":"to have some support to be able"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":287.399,"endTime":291.949,"body":"to do that. So if you are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":287.399,"endTime":291.949,"body":"willing and have the capacity to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":292.027,"endTime":297.126,"body":"show up and help me out, I would"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":292.027,"endTime":297.126,"body":"so appreciate it. There's a link"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":297.204,"endTime":302.46,"body":"in the show notes, and now,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":297.204,"endTime":302.46,"body":"without further ado. Let's get started."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":302.46,"endTime":305.867,"body":"Hey there. I'm Valerie"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":302.46,"endTime":305.867,"body":"Friedlander, Certified Life"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":305.935,"endTime":310.091,"body":"business alignment Coach. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":305.935,"endTime":310.091,"body":"this is unlimited. This podcast"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":310.159,"endTime":313.907,"body":"bridges the individual and the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":310.159,"endTime":313.907,"body":"societal, scientific and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":313.975,"endTime":317.723,"body":"spiritual, positive and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":313.975,"endTime":317.723,"body":"negative, nerdy and no, there's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":317.791,"endTime":321.743,"body":"just a lot of nerdy come on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":317.791,"endTime":321.743,"body":"board. And let's unlock a life"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":321.812,"endTime":323.72,"body":"that's as badass as you are."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":331.76,"endTime":336.589,"body":"This topic came about through a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":331.76,"endTime":336.589,"body":"conversation that I was having"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":336.667,"endTime":341.341,"body":"with my friend and fellow coach,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":336.667,"endTime":341.341,"body":"Taina Brown, who I recently"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":341.419,"endTime":345.938,"body":"interviewed on this podcast"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":341.419,"endTime":345.938,"body":"where she mentioned to me that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":346.015,"endTime":350.378,"body":"it sounded like I was in a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":346.015,"endTime":350.378,"body":"period of Yes, and what I was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":350.456,"endTime":355.13,"body":"talking about was all of the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":350.456,"endTime":355.13,"body":"things that I'm doing, that I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":355.208,"endTime":359.648,"body":"interested in, that I'm excited"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":355.208,"endTime":359.648,"body":"about, that I have energy"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":359.726,"endTime":364.634,"body":"around. And I thought about that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":359.726,"endTime":364.634,"body":"idea. And of course, you know,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":364.712,"endTime":369.775,"body":"I've, I've heard of the book The"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":364.712,"endTime":369.775,"body":"Year of Yes, and there's a movie"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":369.853,"endTime":374.605,"body":"where I think it's like the day"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":369.853,"endTime":374.605,"body":"of Yes, or the kids get their"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":374.683,"endTime":379.435,"body":"parents to say yes to everything"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":374.683,"endTime":379.435,"body":"for a day, or something like"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":379.513,"endTime":383.876,"body":"that. Anyway, this idea of yes"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":379.513,"endTime":383.876,"body":"resonated, and yet I felt"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":383.953,"endTime":388.628,"body":"tension around it, because I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":383.953,"endTime":388.628,"body":"very aware, as if you've been"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":388.705,"endTime":393.146,"body":"listening to this podcast, you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":388.705,"endTime":393.146,"body":"also know that we are in a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":393.224,"endTime":397.275,"body":"culture of push and go and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":393.224,"endTime":397.275,"body":"produce and do and people"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":397.352,"endTime":401.949,"body":"pleasing and all of this stuff"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":397.352,"endTime":401.949,"body":"that makes no hard and makes"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":402.027,"endTime":406.233,"body":"yeses more obscured, less"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":402.027,"endTime":406.233,"body":"intentional, and I wanted to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":406.311,"endTime":411.297,"body":"make sure that I'm showing up to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":406.311,"endTime":411.297,"body":"this period of Yes, which takes"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":411.375,"endTime":415.504,"body":"energy, I will differentiate"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":411.375,"endTime":415.504,"body":"between something that's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":415.581,"endTime":420.411,"body":"energizing and something that's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":415.581,"endTime":420.411,"body":"rejuvenating. And sometimes we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":420.489,"endTime":425.007,"body":"conflate the two, because we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":420.489,"endTime":425.007,"body":"create this dichotomy between"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":425.085,"endTime":429.837,"body":"energizing and draining, whereas"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":425.085,"endTime":429.837,"body":"both energizing and draining"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":429.915,"endTime":434.667,"body":"things use energy. One just uses"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":429.915,"endTime":434.667,"body":"it more efficiently than the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":434.745,"endTime":439.419,"body":"other. So neither is really"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":434.745,"endTime":439.419,"body":"rejuvenating. So since we're not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":439.497,"endTime":444.171,"body":"conditioned to make room for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":439.497,"endTime":444.171,"body":"rejuvenation, this idea of yes,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":444.249,"endTime":449.235,"body":"because there's a lot of energy,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":444.249,"endTime":449.235,"body":"so I can do more things, but it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":449.313,"endTime":453.753,"body":"also means that there's stress"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":449.313,"endTime":453.753,"body":"energy, so I'm going to be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":453.831,"endTime":458.895,"body":"pulling on some of my adrenaline"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":453.831,"endTime":458.895,"body":"and cortisol hormones to be in a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":458.972,"endTime":463.335,"body":"push, which happens anytime"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":458.972,"endTime":463.335,"body":"we're in a period of change."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":463.413,"endTime":467.931,"body":"There's natural tension and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":463.413,"endTime":467.931,"body":"stress. So what does that look"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":468.009,"endTime":472.995,"body":"like to engage it intentionally"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":468.009,"endTime":472.995,"body":"so I don't fall into some of the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":473.073,"endTime":477.747,"body":"conditioned patterns in our"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":473.073,"endTime":477.747,"body":"society around beating myself up"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":477.825,"endTime":482.421,"body":"over committing and beating"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":477.825,"endTime":482.421,"body":"myself up resisting what I want"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":482.499,"endTime":487.017,"body":"because of fear. There's just so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":482.499,"endTime":487.017,"body":"many layers to it. And of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":487.095,"endTime":492.081,"body":"course, because the universe is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":487.095,"endTime":492.081,"body":"cool like this, as I'm exploring"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":492.158,"endTime":496.988,"body":"this for myself, I had several"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":492.158,"endTime":496.988,"body":"clients come to me with various"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":497.066,"endTime":501.74,"body":"aspects of this in their own"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":497.066,"endTime":501.74,"body":"life that was like, Oh, this is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":501.818,"endTime":506.414,"body":"a really useful exploration."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":501.818,"endTime":506.414,"body":"This is an interesting take or"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":506.492,"endTime":511.089,"body":"angle to engage. So with this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":506.492,"endTime":511.089,"body":"episode, what I want to do is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":511.166,"endTime":515.529,"body":"invite you into that kind of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":511.166,"endTime":515.529,"body":"exploration, and if you are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":515.607,"endTime":520.281,"body":"engaging a period of Yes, or"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":515.607,"endTime":520.281,"body":"even if you're not, and you are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":520.359,"endTime":525.189,"body":"wanting to do some discernment"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":520.359,"endTime":525.189,"body":"work, what are some things that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":525.267,"endTime":529.707,"body":"can come up with this? So let's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":525.267,"endTime":529.707,"body":"start with resisting Yes."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":529.785,"endTime":534.459,"body":"Resisting yes can come from a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":529.785,"endTime":534.459,"body":"variety of things. We're going"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":534.537,"endTime":539.367,"body":"to talk about values, conflict,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":534.537,"endTime":539.367,"body":"fear and misalignment. This is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":539.445,"endTime":543.807,"body":"usually so when I'm talking"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":539.445,"endTime":543.807,"body":"about resisting Yes, in this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":543.885,"endTime":548.17,"body":"context, we're thinking of the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":543.885,"endTime":548.17,"body":"yes as something that we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":548.248,"endTime":553.077,"body":"actually want. So it is a yes"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":548.248,"endTime":553.077,"body":"that we believe we want to give."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":553.155,"endTime":558.141,"body":"So one thing that's come up is a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":553.155,"endTime":558.141,"body":"values conflict. To identify if"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":558.219,"endTime":562.893,"body":"there's a values conflict, it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":558.219,"endTime":562.893,"body":"helps to do a values exercise."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":562.971,"endTime":567.411,"body":"And these are great to do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":562.971,"endTime":567.411,"body":"periodically. You can find them"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":567.489,"endTime":571.852,"body":"online. They're things that I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":567.489,"endTime":571.852,"body":"help clients do when we're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":571.93,"endTime":576.682,"body":"working together, but when you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":571.93,"endTime":576.682,"body":"do a little values assessment,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":576.759,"endTime":581.356,"body":"and I'll even walk you through"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":576.759,"endTime":581.356,"body":"like, find a values list and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":581.433,"endTime":586.185,"body":"then find your top five values"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":581.433,"endTime":586.185,"body":"and identify what they mean to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":586.263,"endTime":591.093,"body":"you. That I mean, it really is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":586.263,"endTime":591.093,"body":"as simple as that. Now, working"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":591.171,"endTime":595.456,"body":"with someone like me, we can go"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":591.171,"endTime":595.456,"body":"a little bit deeper and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":595.534,"endTime":600.052,"body":"understand them a little bit"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":595.534,"endTime":600.052,"body":"further, but that even on its"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":600.13,"endTime":604.882,"body":"very basic level, will help you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":600.13,"endTime":604.882,"body":"identify. Okay, where you may"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":604.96,"endTime":609.166,"body":"have some conflict. So for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":604.96,"endTime":609.166,"body":"example, I had a client who"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":609.244,"endTime":614.152,"body":"wanted to be more visible. She"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":609.244,"endTime":614.152,"body":"has a business. She wants to put"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":614.23,"endTime":619.216,"body":"it out there more but one of her"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":614.23,"endTime":619.216,"body":"values is privacy. So realizing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":619.294,"endTime":623.812,"body":"that she's like, Oh, well,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":619.294,"endTime":623.812,"body":"there's a conflict. This may be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":623.89,"endTime":628.564,"body":"part of the resistance to being"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":623.89,"endTime":628.564,"body":"more visible is this idea of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":628.642,"endTime":633.55,"body":"privacy. So to be able to notice"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":628.642,"endTime":633.55,"body":"that allows us to explore ways"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":633.627,"endTime":638.457,"body":"that we can support privacy, or"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":633.627,"endTime":638.457,"body":"explore ways where privacy may"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":638.535,"endTime":643.365,"body":"be creating some stories around"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":638.535,"endTime":643.365,"body":"what being visible is supposed"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":643.443,"endTime":648.195,"body":"to look like that we don't want"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":643.443,"endTime":648.195,"body":"to do so when we can identify"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":648.273,"endTime":653.103,"body":"that, we can go, what does it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":648.273,"endTime":653.103,"body":"look like to be visible? What is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":653.181,"endTime":657.465,"body":"necessary in order to be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":653.181,"endTime":657.465,"body":"visible? Now, one thing I have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":657.543,"endTime":661.594,"body":"had come up with people,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":657.543,"endTime":661.594,"body":"especially clients who have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":661.672,"endTime":666.19,"body":"various neurodivergencies, is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":661.672,"endTime":666.19,"body":"the idea of being perceived,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":666.268,"endTime":670.631,"body":"which can create tension,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":666.268,"endTime":670.631,"body":"because not even necessarily a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":670.709,"endTime":675.305,"body":"fear of being visible itself,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":670.709,"endTime":675.305,"body":"but what happens when you are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":675.383,"endTime":679.589,"body":"perceived by other people"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":675.383,"endTime":679.589,"body":"because of the judgments and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":679.667,"endTime":684.575,"body":"because of the norms around what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":679.667,"endTime":684.575,"body":"certain things are supposed to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":684.653,"endTime":689.483,"body":"look like, et cetera, et cetera."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":684.653,"endTime":689.483,"body":"So it is important to kind of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":689.561,"endTime":693.767,"body":"separate those out, to be able"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":689.561,"endTime":693.767,"body":"to look at what are the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":693.845,"endTime":698.364,"body":"different supports that are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":693.845,"endTime":698.364,"body":"necessary because we're social"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":698.441,"endTime":702.96,"body":"creatures, and how we are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":698.441,"endTime":702.96,"body":"perceived does have an impact on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":703.038,"endTime":707.79,"body":"us. So it doesn't mean that you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":703.038,"endTime":707.79,"body":"don't do whatever it is to be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":707.867,"endTime":712.542,"body":"visible, but it does mean that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":707.867,"endTime":712.542,"body":"you may want certain supports"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":712.619,"endTime":716.748,"body":"around you. So that's the value"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":712.619,"endTime":716.748,"body":"with doing a value as"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":716.826,"endTime":721.422,"body":"exploration and digging into"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":716.826,"endTime":721.422,"body":"some of these pieces is to see"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":721.5,"endTime":726.486,"body":"what do you need to support your"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":721.5,"endTime":726.486,"body":"ability to say yes, and in this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":726.564,"endTime":731.394,"body":"case, it may just be separating"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":726.564,"endTime":731.394,"body":"out. Okay, well, what needs to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":731.472,"endTime":736.224,"body":"stay private and what can be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":731.472,"endTime":736.224,"body":"visible? What do I need to do to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":736.301,"endTime":740.976,"body":"protect my sense of privacy"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":736.301,"endTime":740.976,"body":"while allowing my business to be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":741.053,"endTime":745.961,"body":"visible? Another one that came"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":741.053,"endTime":745.961,"body":"up was a tension between courage"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":746.039,"endTime":750.713,"body":"and self protection. How am I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":746.039,"endTime":750.713,"body":"courageous if I'm also valuing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":750.791,"endTime":755.465,"body":"self protection, which means not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":750.791,"endTime":755.465,"body":"pushing myself, not putting"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":755.543,"endTime":760.061,"body":"myself out there? Well, one of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":755.543,"endTime":760.061,"body":"the things that I wanted to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":760.139,"endTime":764.658,"body":"identify when that came up is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":760.139,"endTime":764.658,"body":"that it can be courageous to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":764.736,"endTime":769.332,"body":"protect yourself if you had"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":764.736,"endTime":769.332,"body":"spaces where it wasn't allowed,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":769.41,"endTime":773.928,"body":"it wasn't safe to protect"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":769.41,"endTime":773.928,"body":"yourself. You had to always show"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":774.006,"endTime":778.446,"body":"up for other people and always"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":774.006,"endTime":778.446,"body":"focus on other people, the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":778.524,"endTime":782.964,"body":"people pleasing stuff, self"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":778.524,"endTime":782.964,"body":"protection and taking care of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":783.042,"endTime":787.716,"body":"you and protecting your needs"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":783.042,"endTime":787.716,"body":"and yourself and your body and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":787.794,"endTime":792.468,"body":"all of those things can take"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":787.794,"endTime":792.468,"body":"courage to do as an intentional"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":792.546,"endTime":797.61,"body":"thing versus a I'm going to take"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":792.546,"endTime":797.61,"body":"care of you, to take care of me,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":797.688,"endTime":802.44,"body":"that whole insecure attachment"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":797.688,"endTime":802.44,"body":"and people pleasing and all of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":802.518,"endTime":807.581,"body":"that stuff. So I think sometimes"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":802.518,"endTime":807.581,"body":"it's important to identify where"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":807.659,"endTime":812.022,"body":"there isn't tension, or there"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":807.659,"endTime":812.022,"body":"doesn't need to be tension"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":812.1,"endTime":816.929,"body":"because, yes, you are actually"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":812.1,"endTime":816.929,"body":"are still honoring courage when"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":817.007,"endTime":821.604,"body":"you are protecting yourself"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":817.007,"endTime":821.604,"body":"intentionally. And this is then"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":821.681,"endTime":826.356,"body":"an also an opportunity to get"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":821.681,"endTime":826.356,"body":"clear on, what does it mean to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":826.433,"endTime":831.263,"body":"protect yourself, what do you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":826.433,"endTime":831.263,"body":"need to feel protected, and what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":831.341,"endTime":835.937,"body":"exactly are you looking at to be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":831.341,"endTime":835.937,"body":"courageous with? What does"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":836.015,"endTime":840.378,"body":"courage look like in each"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":836.015,"endTime":840.378,"body":"instance? So that's one of the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":840.456,"endTime":845.519,"body":"things I like to do with values."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":840.456,"endTime":845.519,"body":"Is, what does it look like to be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":845.597,"endTime":850.193,"body":"courageous here? What does it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":845.597,"endTime":850.193,"body":"look like to be private here?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":850.271,"endTime":854.712,"body":"What does it look like to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":850.271,"endTime":854.712,"body":"protect yourself here? When you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":854.79,"endTime":859.775,"body":"understand what your values are,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":854.79,"endTime":859.775,"body":"then you can ask questions that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":859.853,"endTime":864.605,"body":"allow you to creatively explore"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":859.853,"endTime":864.605,"body":"and then intentionally engage"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":864.683,"endTime":869.591,"body":"taking care of yourself and your"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":864.683,"endTime":869.591,"body":"needs, as well as leaning into"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":869.669,"endTime":873.797,"body":"the things that you want,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":869.669,"endTime":873.797,"body":"another place of resistance"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":873.875,"endTime":878.472,"body":"that's come up recently is fear,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":873.875,"endTime":878.472,"body":"fear of saying no, fear of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":878.549,"endTime":883.379,"body":"saying yes. And what happens? I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":878.549,"endTime":883.379,"body":"have talked about this in some"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":883.457,"endTime":888.287,"body":"episodes about inner critic. I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":883.457,"endTime":888.287,"body":"also have a resource called out"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":888.365,"endTime":893.117,"body":"of doubt and into action that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":888.365,"endTime":893.117,"body":"walks through some of this, but"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":893.195,"endTime":897.246,"body":"just to kind of briefly"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":893.195,"endTime":897.246,"body":"summarize, what does it look"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":897.324,"endTime":901.92,"body":"like when, okay, I know I want"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":897.324,"endTime":901.92,"body":"to say yes to this, but I am"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":901.998,"endTime":906.594,"body":"afraid looking at okay. What"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":901.998,"endTime":906.594,"body":"exactly are we afraid of? What"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":906.672,"endTime":911.19,"body":"is the danger and when you can"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":906.672,"endTime":911.19,"body":"identify what is the danger"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":911.268,"endTime":915.864,"body":"like? Shining a light on it,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":911.268,"endTime":915.864,"body":"pulling it out of the shadows,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":915.942,"endTime":920.149,"body":"and really looking at it."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":915.942,"endTime":920.149,"body":"Oftentimes we don't actually"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":920.227,"endTime":924.901,"body":"really look at it. We just know"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":920.227,"endTime":924.901,"body":"that there's resistance, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":924.979,"endTime":930.042,"body":"because the fear tells us not to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":924.979,"endTime":930.042,"body":"look at it, we don't look at it."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":930.12,"endTime":934.638,"body":"So all right, let's shine a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":930.12,"endTime":934.638,"body":"light on let's look at it. How"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":934.716,"endTime":939.235,"body":"presently real is this fear,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":934.716,"endTime":939.235,"body":"this thing that we are afraid"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":939.313,"endTime":944.298,"body":"will happen, and I say presently"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":939.313,"endTime":944.298,"body":"real, because a lot of times we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":944.376,"endTime":948.271,"body":"have a fear of something"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":944.376,"endTime":948.271,"body":"happening, because it was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":948.349,"endTime":953.335,"body":"actually a danger at some point,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":948.349,"endTime":953.335,"body":"there's a reason it's there. So"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":953.413,"endTime":958.165,"body":"I hear people say, just get over"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":953.413,"endTime":958.165,"body":"it. Just be courageous, just"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":958.243,"endTime":963.072,"body":"don't be afraid. And the thing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":958.243,"endTime":963.072,"body":"is that the fear is there for a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":963.15,"endTime":967.98,"body":"reason. It's there to protect"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":963.15,"endTime":967.98,"body":"you, and it may not be presently"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":968.058,"endTime":973.122,"body":"needed, but at some point it was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":968.058,"endTime":973.122,"body":"so, rather than beat yourself up"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":973.2,"endTime":977.251,"body":"over having the fear, or push"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":973.2,"endTime":977.251,"body":"yourself or add to the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":977.328,"endTime":981.847,"body":"additional stress energy by"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":977.328,"endTime":981.847,"body":"pushing on it, we can care for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":981.925,"endTime":986.755,"body":"it by going, Okay, well, if it's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":981.925,"endTime":986.755,"body":"not presently real, there's a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":986.832,"endTime":991.117,"body":"wound there. There's something"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":986.832,"endTime":991.117,"body":"that needs care. There's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":991.195,"endTime":995.869,"body":"something that needs some love,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":991.195,"endTime":995.869,"body":"some support, maybe therapy,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":995.947,"endTime":1000.543,"body":"something to heal that wound"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":995.947,"endTime":1000.543,"body":"that is still there, and maybe"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1000.621,"endTime":1005.529,"body":"it's there also just to serve as"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1000.621,"endTime":1005.529,"body":"a warning, as a little caution"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1005.607,"endTime":1010.281,"body":"flag. So rather than taking it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1005.607,"endTime":1010.281,"body":"at face value, we use it as a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1010.359,"endTime":1015.422,"body":"sign to look both ways before we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1010.359,"endTime":1015.422,"body":"cross the street. Hey, this is a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1015.5,"endTime":1020.252,"body":"busy street. Rather than go, oh,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1015.5,"endTime":1020.252,"body":"well, I can't cross the busy"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1020.33,"endTime":1025.316,"body":"street. We look and we go, Okay,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1020.33,"endTime":1025.316,"body":"is there danger? Are there cars"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1025.394,"endTime":1030.146,"body":"coming? So is it presently real?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1025.394,"endTime":1030.146,"body":"If it's not, then caring for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1030.223,"endTime":1034.975,"body":"their wounds. If it is presently"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1030.223,"endTime":1034.975,"body":"real, if that fear does have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1035.053,"endTime":1039.883,"body":"root in potential danger, what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1035.053,"endTime":1039.883,"body":"do you need to tap into support"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1039.961,"endTime":1044.713,"body":"to protect yourself and still do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1039.961,"endTime":1044.713,"body":"the thing you want to do. So"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1044.791,"endTime":1049.231,"body":"what asks Do you have? What"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1044.791,"endTime":1049.231,"body":"else? And this is an instance"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1049.309,"endTime":1054.139,"body":"where what else do you need to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1049.309,"endTime":1054.139,"body":"say yes to? You want to say yes"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1054.217,"endTime":1058.502,"body":"to this thing that may mean you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1054.217,"endTime":1058.502,"body":"also want to say yes to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1058.58,"endTime":1063.254,"body":"something else, like support."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1058.58,"endTime":1063.254,"body":"I'm going to talk a little bit"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1063.332,"endTime":1067.928,"body":"more about the additional yeses"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1063.332,"endTime":1067.928,"body":"in a moment, but this is an"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1068.006,"endTime":1072.913,"body":"opportunity to look at what do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1068.006,"endTime":1072.913,"body":"you need to support you in being"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1072.991,"endTime":1077.821,"body":"able to do the thing you say you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1072.991,"endTime":1077.821,"body":"want to do in saying the Yes."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1077.899,"endTime":1082.495,"body":"All right, one of the other"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1077.899,"endTime":1082.495,"body":"places where we have resistance"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1082.573,"endTime":1087.014,"body":"is misalignment, and I've"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1082.573,"endTime":1087.014,"body":"definitely talked about this in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1087.092,"endTime":1091.454,"body":"previous episodes, but one of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1087.092,"endTime":1091.454,"body":"the ones that I'm going to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1091.532,"endTime":1096.44,"body":"highlight here is dealing with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1091.532,"endTime":1096.44,"body":"burnout beyond the nine to five."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1096.518,"endTime":1101.503,"body":"And I highlight burnout because"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1096.518,"endTime":1101.503,"body":"burnout is a state of emotional,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1101.581,"endTime":1105.476,"body":"mental and often physical"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1101.581,"endTime":1105.476,"body":"exhaustion brought on by"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1105.554,"endTime":1110.384,"body":"prolonged or repeated stress."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1105.554,"endTime":1110.384,"body":"It's not simply a result of long"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1110.462,"endTime":1115.37,"body":"working hours or a lot of energy"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1110.462,"endTime":1115.37,"body":"being used, but the repetition"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1115.448,"endTime":1120.044,"body":"of stress. This can come about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1115.448,"endTime":1120.044,"body":"through shoulds when our yes"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1120.122,"endTime":1124.796,"body":"isn't rooted in alignment with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1120.122,"endTime":1124.796,"body":"ourselves and what we want to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1124.874,"endTime":1129.626,"body":"create, but in alignment with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1124.874,"endTime":1129.626,"body":"well, I should do this. This is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1129.704,"endTime":1134.767,"body":"what I'm supposed to do. This is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1129.704,"endTime":1134.767,"body":"what I was told works this whole"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1134.845,"endTime":1139.597,"body":"idea of tried and true. Well,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1134.845,"endTime":1139.597,"body":"everybody says that in order to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1139.675,"endTime":1144.349,"body":"get this thing I want to say yes"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1139.675,"endTime":1144.349,"body":"to I have to do these other"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1144.427,"endTime":1149.023,"body":"things. Well, maybe, but maybe"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1144.427,"endTime":1149.023,"body":"not. And maybe we need to be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1149.101,"endTime":1153.775,"body":"creative. So when we have this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1149.101,"endTime":1153.775,"body":"misalignment and we're in the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1153.853,"endTime":1158.605,"body":"shoulds, shoulds are a form or"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1153.853,"endTime":1158.605,"body":"cover for shame, this push of,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1158.683,"endTime":1163.201,"body":"well, you should do this, or"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1158.683,"endTime":1163.201,"body":"else, should is a is a tricky"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1163.279,"endTime":1168.343,"body":"word, and usually, if somebody's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1163.279,"endTime":1168.343,"body":"using it, it's an invitation for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1168.421,"endTime":1173.25,"body":"deeper inquiry. Is the should"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1168.421,"endTime":1173.25,"body":"actually the word that I want to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1173.328,"endTime":1178.158,"body":"be using. If I use a word, want"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1173.328,"endTime":1178.158,"body":"to does that change how I feel"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1178.236,"endTime":1183.144,"body":"about it? Not because it's just"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1178.236,"endTime":1183.144,"body":"a different word. But you might"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1183.222,"endTime":1187.974,"body":"notice that if you say want to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1183.222,"endTime":1187.974,"body":"you're like, Oh no, that's not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1188.052,"endTime":1192.96,"body":"true. So noticing that, because"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1188.052,"endTime":1192.96,"body":"the more we are in spaces where"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1193.037,"endTime":1197.4,"body":"things are unclear, you don't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1193.037,"endTime":1197.4,"body":"feel in control, there's a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1197.478,"endTime":1202.23,"body":"disconnection between you and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1197.478,"endTime":1202.23,"body":"the thing. There's some sort of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1202.308,"endTime":1207.06,"body":"imbalance, or maybe it is a lack"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1202.308,"endTime":1207.06,"body":"of support, like I should do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1207.138,"endTime":1211.578,"body":"this. Maybe it's not a you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1207.138,"endTime":1211.578,"body":"should do this. Maybe it's a I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1211.656,"endTime":1216.486,"body":"want to ask for some support to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1211.656,"endTime":1216.486,"body":"do this. I. There are a lot of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1216.564,"endTime":1221.394,"body":"dynamics in there, and that's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1216.564,"endTime":1221.394,"body":"something to notice and explore."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1221.471,"endTime":1226.301,"body":"Is there a misalignment? Maybe"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1221.471,"endTime":1226.301,"body":"it's I want to do this, and the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1226.379,"endTime":1231.131,"body":"thing I think I need to do, to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1226.379,"endTime":1231.131,"body":"do that, needs to be explored."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1231.209,"endTime":1235.649,"body":"Maybe that's not the thing. So"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1231.209,"endTime":1235.649,"body":"it's just an invitation to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1235.727,"endTime":1240.791,"body":"explore the alignment there. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1235.727,"endTime":1240.791,"body":"just because it hasn't been done"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1240.869,"endTime":1245.309,"body":"differently doesn't mean it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1240.869,"endTime":1245.309,"body":"can't be done differently. So"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1245.387,"endTime":1250.061,"body":"exploring that and that can"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1245.387,"endTime":1250.061,"body":"create resistance to saying yes."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1250.139,"endTime":1254.813,"body":"Again, maybe it is a I need to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1250.139,"endTime":1254.813,"body":"say yes to something else. In"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1254.891,"endTime":1259.721,"body":"addition to saying yes to this,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1254.891,"endTime":1259.721,"body":"the other piece is considering"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1259.799,"endTime":1264.707,"body":"and building capacity. I have a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1259.799,"endTime":1264.707,"body":"colleague who was talking about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1264.785,"endTime":1269.614,"body":"being in a period of no for so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1264.785,"endTime":1269.614,"body":"long, and now that she wants to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1269.692,"endTime":1274.444,"body":"start stepping into more Yes."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1269.692,"endTime":1274.444,"body":"It's hard because after burning"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1274.522,"endTime":1279.196,"body":"out with yes in places that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1274.522,"endTime":1279.196,"body":"weren't a fit, she needed to say"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1279.274,"endTime":1284.026,"body":"no more. She really needed to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1279.274,"endTime":1284.026,"body":"pull it back in, simplify, pare"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1284.104,"endTime":1288.545,"body":"it down. No needed to be the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1284.104,"endTime":1288.545,"body":"thing. So now she's ready to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1288.622,"endTime":1293.374,"body":"start changing that, and her"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1288.622,"endTime":1293.374,"body":"capacity is reduced. It's almost"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1293.452,"endTime":1298.049,"body":"like a muscle our capacity now,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1293.452,"endTime":1298.049,"body":"that's not to say that it's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1298.126,"endTime":1302.956,"body":"unlimited. Our muscles aren't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1298.126,"endTime":1302.956,"body":"unlimited either, right? Like we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1303.034,"endTime":1307.552,"body":"build them up to a certain"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1303.034,"endTime":1307.552,"body":"point, and we don't necessarily"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1307.63,"endTime":1312.071,"body":"want to be a bodybuilder. We"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1307.63,"endTime":1312.071,"body":"might just want to be strong"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1312.149,"endTime":1317.056,"body":"enough to do certain things. So"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1312.149,"endTime":1317.056,"body":"having that idea of what enough"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1317.134,"endTime":1322.042,"body":"is, and being able to build your"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1317.134,"endTime":1322.042,"body":"capacity, and being mindful of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1322.12,"endTime":1326.638,"body":"the pendulum effect, where all"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1322.12,"endTime":1326.638,"body":"yes then leads to all know,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1326.716,"endTime":1331.001,"body":"burnout will force you to say"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1326.716,"endTime":1331.001,"body":"no, like in my colleagues"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1331.079,"endTime":1335.207,"body":"instance, so being able to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1331.079,"endTime":1335.207,"body":"recognize that capacity is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1335.285,"endTime":1339.959,"body":"reduced and easing into more"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1335.285,"endTime":1339.959,"body":"yeses, being really intentional"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1340.037,"endTime":1345.023,"body":"about what one says yes to, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1340.037,"endTime":1345.023,"body":"maybe You want to say yes to all"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1345.101,"endTime":1349.853,"body":"the things, and it really is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1345.101,"endTime":1349.853,"body":"okay. What's most important here"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1349.931,"endTime":1354.761,"body":"and to be able to take the next"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1349.931,"endTime":1354.761,"body":"step? What do I need to invite"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1354.839,"endTime":1359.279,"body":"in? What do I need to have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1354.839,"endTime":1359.279,"body":"support around? So this brings"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1359.357,"endTime":1363.797,"body":"me to what I've touched on a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1359.357,"endTime":1363.797,"body":"couple times, which is, what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1363.875,"endTime":1368.471,"body":"else am I saying yes to? And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1363.875,"endTime":1368.471,"body":"there are two parts of this. A"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1368.549,"endTime":1373.457,"body":"lot of times people think about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1368.549,"endTime":1373.457,"body":"like, when I say yes, what am I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1373.535,"endTime":1378.131,"body":"saying no to? And that's a way"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1373.535,"endTime":1378.131,"body":"to help discern, do I really"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1378.209,"endTime":1383.117,"body":"want to say yes to this? Because"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1378.209,"endTime":1383.117,"body":"if I say yes to this, then I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1383.195,"endTime":1387.947,"body":"saying no to this. That's very"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1383.195,"endTime":1387.947,"body":"binary. And yet it can also be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1388.025,"endTime":1392.543,"body":"helpful to discern, is this a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1388.025,"endTime":1392.543,"body":"real Yes? Is this an aligned"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1392.621,"endTime":1397.373,"body":"Yes? Do I want to say yes to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1392.621,"endTime":1397.373,"body":"this? The other piece of that is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1397.451,"endTime":1401.969,"body":"when I say yes to something,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1397.451,"endTime":1401.969,"body":"what else am I saying yes to?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1402.047,"endTime":1406.721,"body":"And it may be things that are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1402.047,"endTime":1406.721,"body":"naturally paired with it, that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1406.799,"endTime":1411.551,"body":"just automatically will come in."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1406.799,"endTime":1411.551,"body":"If I say yes to this, then I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1411.629,"endTime":1416.147,"body":"will also end up with these"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1411.629,"endTime":1416.147,"body":"other yeses. So as an example,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1416.225,"endTime":1421.211,"body":"if I'm saying yes to helping out"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1416.225,"endTime":1421.211,"body":"with an after school program or"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1421.289,"endTime":1425.651,"body":"going to a meeting in the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1421.289,"endTime":1425.651,"body":"evening, then I am also saying"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1425.729,"endTime":1430.559,"body":"yes to a reduced amount of time"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1425.729,"endTime":1430.559,"body":"in the evening for home stuff,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1430.637,"endTime":1435.622,"body":"which I need to factor in when I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1430.637,"endTime":1435.622,"body":"am considering all of my yeses,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1435.7,"endTime":1439.985,"body":"when I am considering how they"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1435.7,"endTime":1439.985,"body":"stack together, when I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1440.063,"endTime":1444.581,"body":"considering the decisions that I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1440.063,"endTime":1444.581,"body":"will need to make and the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1444.659,"endTime":1449.567,"body":"adjustments that will need to go"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1444.659,"endTime":1449.567,"body":"along with them. When we frame"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1449.645,"endTime":1454.319,"body":"it this way, though, we also"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1449.645,"endTime":1454.319,"body":"have more power because it puts"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1454.397,"endTime":1458.993,"body":"us in the driver's seat of the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1454.397,"endTime":1458.993,"body":"decisions that go along with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1459.071,"endTime":1463.667,"body":"them. Instead of feeling like"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1459.071,"endTime":1463.667,"body":"we're the victim of the other"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1463.745,"endTime":1468.497,"body":"yeses, they are yeses that we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1463.745,"endTime":1468.497,"body":"are choosing to say yes to that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1468.575,"endTime":1473.015,"body":"stack alongside the focal Yes."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1468.575,"endTime":1473.015,"body":"Now, those are the kind of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1473.093,"endTime":1477.923,"body":"stacked yeses, right? Those are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1473.093,"endTime":1477.923,"body":"the things that just naturally"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1478.001,"endTime":1482.831,"body":"come along with it. But what I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1478.001,"endTime":1482.831,"body":"would invite you into with this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1482.909,"endTime":1487.661,"body":"is also, what do you need to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1482.909,"endTime":1487.661,"body":"intentionally say yes to? So say"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1487.738,"endTime":1492.335,"body":"you're in a period of yes as"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1487.738,"endTime":1492.335,"body":"well. You want to say yes to a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1492.413,"endTime":1496.931,"body":"lot of things you're building."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1492.413,"endTime":1496.931,"body":"And I'm gonna use myself as"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1497.009,"endTime":1501.761,"body":"another example here. I just did"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1497.009,"endTime":1501.761,"body":"an enrollment for my reclaim"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1501.839,"endTime":1506.279,"body":"your routine workshop series."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1501.839,"endTime":1506.279,"body":"Super excited to do. I have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1506.357,"endTime":1511.187,"body":"another series, which is more"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1506.357,"endTime":1511.187,"body":"like a group program that I want"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1511.265,"endTime":1515.939,"body":"to do for the winter period."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1511.265,"endTime":1515.939,"body":"It's winter women's circle that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1516.017,"endTime":1520.769,"body":"I'm. Working on. There are a lot"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1516.017,"endTime":1520.769,"body":"of pieces that go along with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1520.847,"endTime":1525.521,"body":"that. Plus I'm still doing the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1520.847,"endTime":1525.521,"body":"podcast, plus I'm going to be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1525.599,"endTime":1530.428,"body":"facilitating retreat. There's,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1525.599,"endTime":1530.428,"body":"like, a lot of things that I've"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1530.506,"endTime":1535.025,"body":"said yes to that I'm super"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1530.506,"endTime":1535.025,"body":"excited about. And within that,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1535.102,"endTime":1539.932,"body":"I also need to remember to say"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1535.102,"endTime":1539.932,"body":"yes to help, because when we're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1540.01,"endTime":1544.918,"body":"getting into a yes period where"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1540.01,"endTime":1544.918,"body":"we're doing a lot of things, we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1544.996,"endTime":1549.748,"body":"can get into that helper mode."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1544.996,"endTime":1549.748,"body":"We can get into the doer mode,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1549.826,"endTime":1554.5,"body":"and we can forget that we also"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1549.826,"endTime":1554.5,"body":"can say yes to receiving. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1554.578,"endTime":1558.862,"body":"that's and I'm calling myself"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1554.578,"endTime":1558.862,"body":"out there, because that's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1558.94,"endTime":1563.536,"body":"something that I will do too."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1558.94,"endTime":1563.536,"body":"Yeah, oh, I got it. Oh, I got"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1563.614,"endTime":1568.288,"body":"it. I'll do that too. And so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1563.614,"endTime":1568.288,"body":"that was one of the reasons why"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1568.366,"endTime":1573.118,"body":"I was inspired to invite you all"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1568.366,"endTime":1573.118,"body":"to hey, if you would like to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1573.196,"endTime":1577.792,"body":"support the podcast, here is a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1573.196,"endTime":1577.792,"body":"specific way that that would"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1577.87,"endTime":1582.155,"body":"make a difference for me,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1577.87,"endTime":1582.155,"body":"because you know, when you're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1582.233,"endTime":1586.985,"body":"asking for help, it can help"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1582.233,"endTime":1586.985,"body":"when people know exactly what it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1587.063,"endTime":1591.581,"body":"is that you're looking for,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1587.063,"endTime":1591.581,"body":"versus the general, yeah, sure"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1591.659,"endTime":1596.645,"body":"help. Or how can I help? Or just"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1591.659,"endTime":1596.645,"body":"let me know what you need, then"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1596.722,"endTime":1601.241,"body":"nothing happens. So when we can"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1596.722,"endTime":1601.241,"body":"be specific, saying yes to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1601.319,"endTime":1605.681,"body":"specificity so that you can"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1601.319,"endTime":1605.681,"body":"receive help. Another one is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1605.759,"endTime":1610.044,"body":"appreciation, compliments,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1605.759,"endTime":1610.044,"body":"saying yes to compliments, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1610.122,"endTime":1614.25,"body":"know so many people who don't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1610.122,"endTime":1614.25,"body":"celebrate what they do,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1614.328,"endTime":1619.08,"body":"celebrate their accomplishments,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1614.328,"endTime":1619.08,"body":"make room to acknowledge and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1619.158,"endTime":1623.91,"body":"appreciate themselves, or even"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1619.158,"endTime":1623.91,"body":"to receive acknowledgement and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1623.988,"endTime":1628.039,"body":"appreciation from others. It"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1623.988,"endTime":1628.039,"body":"feels awkward. It feels"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1628.117,"endTime":1632.713,"body":"uncomfortable. Well, there's a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1628.117,"endTime":1632.713,"body":"lot of reasons for that, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1632.791,"endTime":1637.543,"body":"when you're in a period of push,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1632.791,"endTime":1637.543,"body":"or a period of saying yes to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1637.621,"endTime":1641.516,"body":"things, it is so important to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1637.621,"endTime":1641.516,"body":"allow room for those"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1641.594,"endTime":1646.112,"body":"rejuvenating things, those"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1641.594,"endTime":1646.112,"body":"things that help pour into you."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1646.19,"endTime":1651.02,"body":"So it could be tangible. Could"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1646.19,"endTime":1651.02,"body":"be tangible help. It could also"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1651.098,"endTime":1655.382,"body":"be appreciation, compliments,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1651.098,"endTime":1655.382,"body":"gratitude, those sorts of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1655.46,"endTime":1660.056,"body":"things, being able and making"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1655.46,"endTime":1660.056,"body":"room to receive, those to ask"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1660.134,"endTime":1664.886,"body":"for. Those are another layer of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1660.134,"endTime":1664.886,"body":"saying yes that is important."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1664.964,"endTime":1669.872,"body":"Saying yes to making more room"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1664.964,"endTime":1669.872,"body":"for yourself, saying yes to self"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1669.95,"endTime":1674.78,"body":"care, saying yes to a nap so you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1669.95,"endTime":1674.78,"body":"can be in a period of yes and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1674.858,"endTime":1679.61,"body":"those yeses may be push yeses"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1674.858,"endTime":1679.61,"body":"where you are doing more things"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1679.687,"endTime":1684.517,"body":"and may be spending more energy."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1679.687,"endTime":1684.517,"body":"They may also be things where"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1684.595,"endTime":1689.581,"body":"you are receiving, you're saying"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1684.595,"endTime":1689.581,"body":"yes to receiving. So this is, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1689.659,"endTime":1694.255,"body":"think, probably the biggest"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1689.659,"endTime":1694.255,"body":"reminder is to not just say yes"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1694.333,"endTime":1699.163,"body":"to the doings when you're in a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1694.333,"endTime":1699.163,"body":"period of Yes, making sure that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1699.241,"endTime":1703.759,"body":"you're making room for the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1699.241,"endTime":1703.759,"body":"receiving part of those doings."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1703.837,"endTime":1708.589,"body":"So just to recap, we're talking"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1703.837,"endTime":1708.589,"body":"taking a look at your values,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1708.667,"endTime":1713.185,"body":"engaging fear, exploring if"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1708.667,"endTime":1713.185,"body":"there is a misalignment. So if"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1713.263,"endTime":1718.093,"body":"there is a should underlying A"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1713.263,"endTime":1718.093,"body":"Yes, considering your capacity,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1718.171,"endTime":1722.377,"body":"because if there's a should"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1718.171,"endTime":1722.377,"body":"underlying your yes and or"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1722.455,"endTime":1726.818,"body":"there's a lack of capacity."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1722.455,"endTime":1726.818,"body":"That's where we run into the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1726.896,"endTime":1731.804,"body":"burnout piece, which will be a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1726.896,"endTime":1731.804,"body":"shut it all down, which we don't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1731.881,"endTime":1736.789,"body":"necessarily want. So being able"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1731.881,"endTime":1736.789,"body":"to be intentional with how much"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1736.867,"endTime":1741.152,"body":"we're holding and being"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1736.867,"endTime":1741.152,"body":"cognizant of what you're saying"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1741.23,"endTime":1745.982,"body":"yes to, are you only saying yes"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1741.23,"endTime":1745.982,"body":"to things that are output for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1746.059,"endTime":1751.045,"body":"you? What would it look like to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1746.059,"endTime":1751.045,"body":"say yes to things that are input"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1751.123,"endTime":1755.719,"body":"for you, especially in periods"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1751.123,"endTime":1755.719,"body":"of high output? And the last"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1755.797,"endTime":1760.16,"body":"thing I want to touch on is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1755.797,"endTime":1760.16,"body":"space for the unintentional,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1760.238,"endTime":1765.067,"body":"which I think is part of being"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1760.238,"endTime":1765.067,"body":"human. And so in this period of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1765.145,"endTime":1769.819,"body":"okay, I want to be intentional"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1765.145,"endTime":1769.819,"body":"with my Yes, also recognizing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1769.897,"endTime":1773.714,"body":"and giving yourself some grace"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1769.897,"endTime":1773.714,"body":"and some space for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1773.792,"endTime":1778.155,"body":"unintentional. I didn't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1773.792,"endTime":1778.155,"body":"intentionally engage. Well, when"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1778.233,"endTime":1783.296,"body":"you're intentionally engaging so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1778.233,"endTime":1783.296,"body":"many things, it's really hard to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1783.374,"endTime":1787.893,"body":"always hold that level of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1783.374,"endTime":1787.893,"body":"energy. It takes more energy. So"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1787.97,"endTime":1792.177,"body":"if you're trying to be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1787.97,"endTime":1792.177,"body":"intentional, and you're doing a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1792.255,"endTime":1797.007,"body":"lot, you are using more energy."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1792.255,"endTime":1797.007,"body":"So recognizing that there are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1797.085,"endTime":1801.525,"body":"going to be times, oh, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1797.085,"endTime":1801.525,"body":"scrolled for a little bit. Oh, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1801.603,"endTime":1806.044,"body":"just sat and stared at the wall"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1801.603,"endTime":1806.044,"body":"for a little. Bit and not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1806.121,"endTime":1810.094,"body":"beating yourself up for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1806.121,"endTime":1810.094,"body":"unintentionality. Oh, I got"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1810.172,"endTime":1814.457,"body":"caught up in hustle culture and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1810.172,"endTime":1814.457,"body":"forgot to receive or to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1814.535,"endTime":1818.664,"body":"acknowledge or appreciate"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1814.535,"endTime":1818.664,"body":"myself. Oh, I didn't do the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1818.741,"endTime":1823.182,"body":"thing because I was afraid of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1818.741,"endTime":1823.182,"body":"something that really isn't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1823.26,"endTime":1828.168,"body":"present anymore. Those are not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1823.26,"endTime":1828.168,"body":"invitations to beat yourself up."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1828.245,"endTime":1832.997,"body":"Those are invitations to notice"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1828.245,"endTime":1832.997,"body":"and explore what supports you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1833.075,"endTime":1837.983,"body":"might want to say yes to so that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1833.075,"endTime":1837.983,"body":"you can do the things that are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1838.061,"endTime":1842.891,"body":"important to you. I hope that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1838.061,"endTime":1842.891,"body":"this was helpful for you, and if"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1842.969,"endTime":1847.877,"body":"you are looking for additional"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1842.969,"endTime":1847.877,"body":"support around what you say yes,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1847.955,"endTime":1852.707,"body":"to how you say yes, and this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1847.955,"endTime":1852.707,"body":"level of discernment, especially"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1852.784,"endTime":1857.77,"body":"in periods of change, it can be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1852.784,"endTime":1857.77,"body":"particularly difficult. I'm here"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1857.848,"endTime":1862.366,"body":"for you. There's a link in my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1857.848,"endTime":1862.366,"body":"show notes to sign up for an"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1862.444,"endTime":1867.196,"body":"exploration call, and I would"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1862.444,"endTime":1867.196,"body":"love to talk to you, and I will"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1867.274,"endTime":1869.3,"body":"talk to you all next time."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1869.3,"endTime":1872.527,"body":"Thanks for listening. I so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1869.3,"endTime":1872.527,"body":"appreciate you being here. If"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1872.585,"endTime":1876.273,"body":"you got something out of today's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1872.585,"endTime":1876.273,"body":"episode, please share it, leave"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1876.331,"endTime":1879.731,"body":"me a review, take a screenshot"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1876.331,"endTime":1879.731,"body":"and post it on social with a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1879.789,"endTime":1883.247,"body":"shout out to me. Send it to a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1879.789,"endTime":1883.247,"body":"friend or, you know all of the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1883.304,"endTime":1886.82,"body":"above. Want to hang out more,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1883.304,"endTime":1886.82,"body":"join me on Instagram, or better"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1886.878,"endTime":1890.451,"body":"yet, get on my mailing list to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1886.878,"endTime":1890.451,"body":"make sure you don't miss out on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1890.509,"endTime":1893.851,"body":"anything, and remember your"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1890.509,"endTime":1893.851,"body":"possibilities are as unlimited"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1893.909,"endTime":1897.194,"body":"as you are. Allow yourself to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1893.909,"endTime":1897.194,"body":"shine, my friend, the world"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1897.252,"endTime":1899.5,"body":"needs your light. See you next"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1897.252,"endTime":1899.5,"body":"time you"}]}