{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":0.0,"endTime":1.92,"body":"Hello, my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":0.0,"endTime":1.92,"body":"friends, and welcome to another"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1.92,"endTime":5.46,"body":"episode of unlimited today we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1.92,"endTime":5.46,"body":"are talking about responsive"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":5.46,"endTime":10.32,"body":"practices to support your"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":5.46,"endTime":10.32,"body":"stressed teen, and that starts"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":10.35,"endTime":15.18,"body":"with understanding not just"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":10.35,"endTime":15.18,"body":"their emotional needs, but your"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":15.21,"endTime":19.53,"body":"own inner child's unhealed"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":15.21,"endTime":19.53,"body":"patterns. I know you're shocked,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":20.61,"endTime":24.18,"body":"but this is where we get"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":20.61,"endTime":24.18,"body":"activated, and this is where we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":24.18,"endTime":28.29,"body":"are unable to hold space for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":24.18,"endTime":28.29,"body":"others, particularly our kids,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":28.29,"endTime":32.64,"body":"is when something within us,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":28.29,"endTime":32.64,"body":"particularly those things that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":32.64,"endTime":37.23,"body":"haven't been healed, are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":32.64,"endTime":37.23,"body":"activated. And so whether you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":37.23,"endTime":40.74,"body":"have teenagers now, you know you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":37.23,"endTime":40.74,"body":"will, or maybe you just love"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":40.74,"endTime":43.65,"body":"this podcast, and you're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":40.74,"endTime":43.65,"body":"listening anyway, and you don't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":43.65,"endTime":48.39,"body":"have kids, this is for you,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":43.65,"endTime":48.39,"body":"because it does relate to those"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":48.39,"endTime":52.29,"body":"practices that we can employ to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":48.39,"endTime":52.29,"body":"be able to show up better, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":52.29,"endTime":55.95,"body":"sometimes just hearing some of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":52.29,"endTime":55.95,"body":"the dynamics can be extremely"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":55.95,"endTime":59.58,"body":"validating for that healing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":55.95,"endTime":59.58,"body":"process. To be able to go, oh,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":60.06,"endTime":64.8,"body":"that's what I was missing,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":60.06,"endTime":64.8,"body":"because trauma lowercase t"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":64.8,"endTime":69.12,"body":"trauma isn't just things that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":64.8,"endTime":69.12,"body":"happen to us, it's things that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":69.15,"endTime":73.65,"body":"don't happen that should have."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":69.15,"endTime":73.65,"body":"And we live in a society full of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":73.65,"endTime":77.55,"body":"things that don't happen that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":73.65,"endTime":77.55,"body":"should have. I did a training on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":77.55,"endTime":80.64,"body":"trauma a while ago with Angela"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":77.55,"endTime":80.64,"body":"Johnson, and she talked about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":80.64,"endTime":84.84,"body":"how our brain is naturally wired"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":80.64,"endTime":84.84,"body":"for connection, but trauma"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":84.87,"endTime":91.23,"body":"rewires it for protection, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":84.87,"endTime":91.23,"body":"so when we don't engage that, we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":91.23,"endTime":96.18,"body":"end up perpetuating those"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":91.23,"endTime":96.18,"body":"patterns as a norm. So Richard"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":96.18,"endTime":99.54,"body":"Rohr said pain that isn't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":96.18,"endTime":99.54,"body":"transformed is transmitted, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":99.54,"endTime":105.12,"body":"I'm seeing that a lot, honestly,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":99.54,"endTime":105.12,"body":"that is a big, big invitation"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":105.12,"endTime":109.83,"body":"right now in our world is to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":105.12,"endTime":109.83,"body":"look at the pain. And sometimes"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":109.83,"endTime":112.5,"body":"when we won't look at the pain,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":109.83,"endTime":112.5,"body":"the pain gets bigger and bigger"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":112.5,"endTime":116.88,"body":"until you just can't not. So"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":112.5,"endTime":116.88,"body":"that is something that I really"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":116.88,"endTime":122.7,"body":"believe we're being invited to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":116.88,"endTime":122.7,"body":"look at, and I am heartbroken at"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":122.7,"endTime":128.4,"body":"how painful I think that may"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":122.7,"endTime":128.4,"body":"get. And I also still very, very"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":128.4,"endTime":132.69,"body":"much believe that we have to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":128.4,"endTime":132.69,"body":"start by looking internally at"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":132.69,"endTime":137.25,"body":"where that resides within us,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":132.69,"endTime":137.25,"body":"before that we can show up and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":137.25,"endTime":145.32,"body":"help with healing and making and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":137.25,"endTime":145.32,"body":"imagining and then making a new"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":145.32,"endTime":151.02,"body":"world, a new way of being with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":145.32,"endTime":151.02,"body":"one another. I am offering a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":151.02,"endTime":155.58,"body":"winter women's circle to do just"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":151.02,"endTime":155.58,"body":"that, that inner reflection"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":155.58,"endTime":159.0,"body":"that's coming up in December. I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":155.58,"endTime":159.0,"body":"know it's not a lot of time to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":159.0,"endTime":164.7,"body":"think about it, but if you are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":159.0,"endTime":164.7,"body":"interested in that space, to go"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":164.7,"endTime":171.09,"body":"into a restful, honoring winter"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":164.7,"endTime":171.09,"body":"space, to do that reflection, to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":171.09,"endTime":175.77,"body":"take a look at our inner critic,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":171.09,"endTime":175.77,"body":"to take a look at that shadow"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":175.8,"endTime":181.71,"body":"side, and uplift our light and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":175.8,"endTime":181.71,"body":"reclaim Our power within all of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":181.71,"endTime":186.87,"body":"those things. And I invite you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":181.71,"endTime":186.87,"body":"to check out that group. I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":186.9,"endTime":188.91,"body":"only enrolling 10 people, so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":186.9,"endTime":188.91,"body":"it's going to be a small,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":188.91,"endTime":191.88,"body":"intimate group. The link is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":188.91,"endTime":191.88,"body":"going to be in the show notes,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":191.91,"endTime":198.45,"body":"so take a look there. As for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":191.91,"endTime":198.45,"body":"this episode, I have invited"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":198.45,"endTime":202.32,"body":"Donna Lynn Burr, who is the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":198.45,"endTime":202.32,"body":"creator of student stress"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":202.32,"endTime":205.23,"body":"solutions, to have this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":202.32,"endTime":205.23,"body":"conversation about responsive"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":205.23,"endTime":208.44,"body":"practices, because that's what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":205.23,"endTime":208.44,"body":"she does. She is a student"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":208.44,"endTime":213.09,"body":"support specialist who helps"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":208.44,"endTime":213.09,"body":"students to integrate academic"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":213.09,"endTime":218.04,"body":"skills, stress management tools"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":213.09,"endTime":218.04,"body":"and cognitive coaching. She"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":218.04,"endTime":222.45,"body":"helps educators and families to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":218.04,"endTime":222.45,"body":"explore responsive practices"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":222.45,"endTime":226.05,"body":"that build trust, a sense of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":222.45,"endTime":226.05,"body":"belonging and authentic"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":226.08,"endTime":230.07,"body":"connection. She has worked as an"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":226.08,"endTime":230.07,"body":"academic support counselor with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":230.07,"endTime":232.86,"body":"neurodivergent students in a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":230.07,"endTime":232.86,"body":"college preparatory setting,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":233.13,"endTime":236.55,"body":"designed and taught teen health"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":233.13,"endTime":236.55,"body":"and wellness SEL curriculums,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":236.58,"endTime":239.64,"body":"and been an adjunct and Student"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":236.58,"endTime":239.64,"body":"Wellness counselor and Program"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":239.64,"endTime":244.14,"body":"Coordinator at prestigious pre"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":239.64,"endTime":244.14,"body":"professional art schools. Her"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":244.14,"endTime":247.53,"body":"girls education program was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":244.14,"endTime":247.53,"body":"recognized by the US Department"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":247.53,"endTime":250.77,"body":"of Health and Human Services"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":247.53,"endTime":250.77,"body":"Office of Women's Health. She is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":250.77,"endTime":253.95,"body":"a fierce student advocate, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":250.77,"endTime":253.95,"body":"likes to raise awareness around"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":253.95,"endTime":256.41,"body":"ableism and exploring"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":253.95,"endTime":256.41,"body":"assumptions that we bring into"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":256.41,"endTime":261.39,"body":"classrooms and communities. She"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":256.41,"endTime":261.39,"body":"is passionate about regarding"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":261.39,"endTime":265.2,"body":"students with positive regard,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":261.39,"endTime":265.2,"body":"valuing their experience and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":265.2,"endTime":268.98,"body":"their perspective. She has"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":265.2,"endTime":268.98,"body":"extensive training and education"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":268.98,"endTime":270.93,"body":"in social and emotional"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":268.98,"endTime":270.93,"body":"learning, adolescent"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":270.93,"endTime":273.24,"body":"development, instructional"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":270.93,"endTime":273.24,"body":"coaching, mindfulness in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":273.24,"endTime":276.75,"body":"schools, and is a holistic"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":273.24,"endTime":276.75,"body":"stress management instructor"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":276.75,"endTime":279.78,"body":"through the National Wellness"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":276.75,"endTime":279.78,"body":"Institute. Some of the things"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":279.78,"endTime":282.81,"body":"that we talk about in this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":279.78,"endTime":282.81,"body":"episode are understanding how to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":282.81,"endTime":285.72,"body":"give emotional validation,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":282.81,"endTime":285.72,"body":"breaking free from"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":285.72,"endTime":289.77,"body":"perfectionism, developing trust"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":285.72,"endTime":289.77,"body":"and improving communication and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":289.77,"endTime":294.12,"body":"holding space for your kids,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":289.77,"endTime":294.12,"body":"evolving identity. I know you're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":294.12,"endTime":297.9,"body":"gonna love this conversation. So"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":294.12,"endTime":297.9,"body":"now without further ado, let's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":297.9,"endTime":298.65,"body":"get started."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":299.58,"endTime":302.46,"body":"Hey, there. I'm Valerie"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":299.58,"endTime":302.46,"body":"Friedlander, Certified Life"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":302.46,"endTime":306.84,"body":"business alignment Coach. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":302.46,"endTime":306.84,"body":"this is unlimited. This podcast"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":306.84,"endTime":309.99,"body":"bridges the individual and the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":306.84,"endTime":309.99,"body":"societal, scientific and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":309.99,"endTime":314.55,"body":"spiritual, positive and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":309.99,"endTime":314.55,"body":"negative, nerdy and no, there's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":314.55,"endTime":318.57,"body":"just a lot of nerdy. Come on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":314.55,"endTime":318.57,"body":"board. And let's unlock a life"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":318.75,"endTime":320.88,"body":"that's as bad ass as you are."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":328.74,"endTime":332.7,"body":"Welcome, Donna, I'm so excited"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":328.74,"endTime":332.7,"body":"to have you on unlimited"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":333.39,"endTime":335.73,"body":"Thank you."},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":333.39,"endTime":335.73,"body":"I'm very excited to be here and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":335.73,"endTime":336.81,"body":"get to talk with you."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":337.26,"endTime":340.59,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":337.26,"endTime":340.59,"body":"absolutely. Okay. So starting"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":340.62,"endTime":346.92,"body":"off, I'd like to ask, what is a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":340.62,"endTime":346.92,"body":"limit that you took for granted"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":346.95,"endTime":348.81,"body":"that you have since unlearned?"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":350.37,"endTime":353.19,"body":"Oh, that is"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":350.37,"endTime":353.19,"body":"such a great question. I think a"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":353.19,"endTime":360.66,"body":"limit that I have unlearned is"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":353.19,"endTime":360.66,"body":"believing that I need to follow"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":360.66,"endTime":365.07,"body":"what my thoughts are telling me,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":360.66,"endTime":365.07,"body":"instead of being just kind of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":365.07,"endTime":368.7,"body":"led by that. And I've learned"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":365.07,"endTime":368.7,"body":"that through teaching as well,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":369.03,"endTime":375.12,"body":"is just I don't have to believe"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":369.03,"endTime":375.12,"body":"it, I don't have to question it,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":375.27,"endTime":378.0,"body":"and I don't have to follow the"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":375.27,"endTime":378.0,"body":"feelings like I actually have"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":378.0,"endTime":381.66,"body":"some agency. And looking back"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":378.0,"endTime":381.66,"body":"and being like, Wait, what are"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":381.66,"endTime":386.73,"body":"you saying and making some"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":381.66,"endTime":386.73,"body":"choices by kind of raising my"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":386.73,"endTime":389.76,"body":"own self awareness, that's been"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":386.73,"endTime":389.76,"body":"a been a life changer."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":390.81,"endTime":394.05,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":390.81,"endTime":394.05,"body":"definitely. I'm really excited"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":394.05,"endTime":397.71,"body":"to dig in to that further,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":394.05,"endTime":397.71,"body":"because one of the things as we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":397.71,"endTime":401.34,"body":"were talking just before we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":397.71,"endTime":401.34,"body":"started recording, is that your"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":401.34,"endTime":408.42,"body":"clients are really the kids of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":401.34,"endTime":408.42,"body":"my clients. Yeah, that's who you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":408.42,"endTime":412.02,"body":"know. The people that I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":408.42,"endTime":412.02,"body":"working with are people who want"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":412.02,"endTime":414.15,"body":"to make a difference in the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":412.02,"endTime":414.15,"body":"world. They want to make change,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":414.15,"endTime":418.02,"body":"and they're probably unpacking"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":414.15,"endTime":418.02,"body":"some of the things that they"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":418.02,"endTime":420.78,"body":"learned as kids, and then"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":418.02,"endTime":420.78,"body":"they're starting to see it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":420.78,"endTime":424.86,"body":"mirrored in their kids. And one"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":420.78,"endTime":424.86,"body":"of the things that stood out"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":424.86,"endTime":430.8,"body":"that we've talked a little bit"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":424.86,"endTime":430.8,"body":"about is high achievers, and how"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":430.92,"endTime":434.97,"body":"often you're working with high"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":430.92,"endTime":434.97,"body":"achieving kids, and I tend to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":434.97,"endTime":440.01,"body":"work with high achieving adults,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":434.97,"endTime":440.01,"body":"and the overwhelm that comes in."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":440.01,"endTime":444.3,"body":"So I'd love to start there,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":440.01,"endTime":444.3,"body":"because a lot of this, I think"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":444.3,"endTime":447.15,"body":"we're going to be looking at"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":444.3,"endTime":447.15,"body":"these, you know, generational"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":447.15,"endTime":450.51,"body":"patterns that we may or may not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":447.15,"endTime":450.51,"body":"be aware of, or at different"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":450.51,"endTime":454.23,"body":"points aware of. So what do you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":450.51,"endTime":454.23,"body":"tend to see with the young"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":454.23,"endTime":456.69,"body":"people who are high achievers?"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":456.0,"endTime":460.56,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":456.0,"endTime":460.56,"body":"absolutely. Well, what I see is"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":460.56,"endTime":465.12,"body":"stress, like, there's a lot of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":460.56,"endTime":465.12,"body":"stress that's happening, and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":465.12,"endTime":470.58,"body":"there's also, you know, you can"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":465.12,"endTime":470.58,"body":"see that that the kids also are"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":470.58,"endTime":474.33,"body":"trying to manage their adults,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":470.58,"endTime":474.33,"body":"because oftentimes they do have"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":474.33,"endTime":479.49,"body":"parents that are also kind of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":474.33,"endTime":479.49,"body":"high achieving and had These"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":479.49,"endTime":483.78,"body":"expectations. So the student is"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":479.49,"endTime":483.78,"body":"like the kids often balancing"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":483.78,"endTime":488.37,"body":"those expectations against what"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":483.78,"endTime":488.37,"body":"their adult thinks of them, or"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":488.37,"endTime":492.57,"body":"what they think their adult"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":488.37,"endTime":492.57,"body":"thinks of them. And I think that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":492.57,"endTime":497.13,"body":"can be kind of running behind"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":492.57,"endTime":497.13,"body":"the scenes in their head, and it"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":497.13,"endTime":501.36,"body":"causes a lot of internal"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":497.13,"endTime":501.36,"body":"pressure. The other piece I see"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":501.45,"endTime":506.58,"body":"with almost every one of the"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":501.45,"endTime":506.58,"body":"students that I work with is"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":507.0,"endTime":509.82,"body":"what they do with their"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":507.0,"endTime":509.82,"body":"emotions. They're actually kind"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":509.82,"endTime":513.63,"body":"of like try to avoid them at all"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":509.82,"endTime":513.63,"body":"costs. Because right our human"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":513.63,"endTime":518.28,"body":"brain isn't like I would like to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":513.63,"endTime":518.28,"body":"feel pain. It's more caged with"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":518.28,"endTime":521.76,"body":"our negativity bias and things"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":518.28,"endTime":521.76,"body":"like that. To watch for things"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":521.97,"endTime":527.52,"body":"so that we can avoid suffering."},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":521.97,"endTime":527.52,"body":"And so I will see kids do that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":527.52,"endTime":531.3,"body":"quite frequently, and it really"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":527.52,"endTime":531.3,"body":"creates a buildup of that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":531.3,"endTime":536.13,"body":"overwhelm and anxiety, because"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":531.3,"endTime":536.13,"body":"how they're feeling feels"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":536.16,"endTime":539.43,"body":"overwhelming, and the feeling"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":536.16,"endTime":539.43,"body":"that they're having, they don't"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":539.43,"endTime":542.73,"body":"know what to do with it, or many"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":539.43,"endTime":542.73,"body":"of them think they shouldn't"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":542.73,"endTime":547.2,"body":"have it. So we'll see that kind"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":542.73,"endTime":547.2,"body":"of like, how do you have an"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":547.2,"endTime":553.44,"body":"emotional life and also be"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":547.2,"endTime":553.44,"body":"appearing to be very successful"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":554.67,"endTime":557.4,"body":"at the same time, because of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":554.67,"endTime":557.4,"body":"some of the things that are"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":557.4,"endTime":561.3,"body":"socialized of what it is to be"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":557.4,"endTime":561.3,"body":"like. You need to look like you"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":561.3,"endTime":564.45,"body":"have everything together, and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":561.3,"endTime":564.45,"body":"you're doing it all, and you"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":564.45,"endTime":568.53,"body":"know everything, and you've got"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":564.45,"endTime":568.53,"body":"this going on, and the way we"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":568.53,"endTime":572.13,"body":"look at crying, or all these"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":568.53,"endTime":572.13,"body":"types of things, so they're"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":572.13,"endTime":579.18,"body":"really managing an internal life"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":572.13,"endTime":579.18,"body":"within that external container"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":579.18,"endTime":582.36,"body":"that's going on In their"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":579.18,"endTime":582.36,"body":"families, and then when you get"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":582.36,"endTime":587.91,"body":"to school, you just add on to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":582.36,"endTime":587.91,"body":"it. So there it's a lot, it's"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":587.91,"endTime":591.15,"body":"really, really a lot. And so I"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":587.91,"endTime":591.15,"body":"really feel for many of them,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":591.18,"endTime":595.26,"body":"and that's a lot of what, what"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":591.18,"endTime":595.26,"body":"we end up working on. And in the"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":595.26,"endTime":600.0,"body":"end, they end up being more"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":595.26,"endTime":600.0,"body":"productive once they have more"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":600.0,"endTime":603.87,"body":"confidence and more resources of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":600.0,"endTime":603.87,"body":"being able to manage whatever"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":603.87,"endTime":606.93,"body":"comes up. So it's not that I"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":603.87,"endTime":606.93,"body":"don't want to go into the"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":606.93,"endTime":611.37,"body":"situation, because I think I"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":606.93,"endTime":611.37,"body":"can't handle it like this a big"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":611.37,"endTime":616.35,"body":"piece, and so helping them to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":611.37,"endTime":616.35,"body":"feel more like, okay, whatever"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":616.35,"endTime":619.92,"body":"does happen, I can handle that."},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":616.35,"endTime":619.92,"body":"And as adults, you know, same"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":619.92,"endTime":624.12,"body":"thing. We're not immune from"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":619.92,"endTime":624.12,"body":"that either, but I definitely"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":624.66,"endTime":626.94,"body":"see that as a pattern students I"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":624.66,"endTime":626.94,"body":"work with."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":627.21,"endTime":629.31,"body":"Oh my gosh."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":627.21,"endTime":629.31,"body":"You know it's funny because that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":629.34,"endTime":632.73,"body":"well, it's not, I say it's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":629.34,"endTime":632.73,"body":"funny, it's not really funny."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":633.3,"endTime":638.31,"body":"Haha funny, not haha funny,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":633.3,"endTime":638.31,"body":"because that's very much what I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":638.31,"endTime":643.77,"body":"see with a lot of adults that I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":638.31,"endTime":643.77,"body":"work with as well, is that and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":643.8,"endTime":647.79,"body":"and in some ways, there's this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":643.8,"endTime":647.79,"body":"pressure that parents will put"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":647.79,"endTime":651.21,"body":"on themselves, and I know that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":647.79,"endTime":651.21,"body":"I've I've felt this too, of how"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":651.21,"endTime":654.09,"body":"I show up, not just in my work"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":651.21,"endTime":654.09,"body":"setting, but also with my kids."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":654.09,"endTime":658.71,"body":"I don't want to pass on the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":654.09,"endTime":658.71,"body":"things that I experienced. I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":658.71,"endTime":661.5,"body":"want to do it differently. I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":658.71,"endTime":661.5,"body":"want to do it better. I want to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":662.13,"endTime":667.41,"body":"show up the best. And in some"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":662.13,"endTime":667.41,"body":"ways, the pressure that we put"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":667.41,"endTime":674.04,"body":"on ourselves to do that adds to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":667.41,"endTime":674.04,"body":"that space of stress of the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":674.82,"endTime":679.62,"body":"appearances versus how we really"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":674.82,"endTime":679.62,"body":"feel and the what you said, the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":679.95,"endTime":685.08,"body":"I shouldn't feel overwhelmed all"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":679.95,"endTime":685.08,"body":"the shoulds. And I recently was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":685.08,"endTime":689.13,"body":"talking to somebody about the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":685.08,"endTime":689.13,"body":"shoulds cover shame when we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":689.13,"endTime":693.06,"body":"should on ourselves. It's it's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":689.13,"endTime":693.06,"body":"this shaming that we've learned"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":693.06,"endTime":697.41,"body":"so we should that we shouldn't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":693.06,"endTime":697.41,"body":"be so stressed, we shouldn't be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":697.41,"endTime":700.56,"body":"so overwhelmed, and then we're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":697.41,"endTime":700.56,"body":"beating ourselves and we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":700.56,"endTime":704.07,"body":"shouldn't be beating ourselves"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":700.56,"endTime":704.07,"body":"up, and then we're beating"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":704.07,"endTime":709.38,"body":"ourselves up for beating"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":704.07,"endTime":709.38,"body":"ourselves up, and that it's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":709.38,"endTime":713.22,"body":"almost like a building up"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":709.38,"endTime":713.22,"body":"inside, like a volcano, like"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":713.22,"endTime":720.48,"body":"pressure. And then when we get"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":713.22,"endTime":720.48,"body":"activated, we'll explode on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":721.17,"endTime":725.1,"body":"those around us, whether it's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":721.17,"endTime":725.1,"body":"trying to control, and it's not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":725.1,"endTime":728.94,"body":"always like a yelling explosion,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":725.1,"endTime":728.94,"body":"but it's usually control. I feel"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":728.94,"endTime":731.49,"body":"out of control because I wasn't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":728.94,"endTime":731.49,"body":"able to control what's happening"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":731.49,"endTime":736.62,"body":"inside of me, and so now I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":731.49,"endTime":736.62,"body":"going to try and exert control"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":736.74,"endTime":740.49,"body":"outside of myself, where I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":736.74,"endTime":740.49,"body":"actually don't have control, but"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":740.49,"endTime":743.04,"body":"I have the appearance of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":740.49,"endTime":743.04,"body":"control, sometimes, especially"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":743.04,"endTime":747.39,"body":"with my kids, and then we're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":743.04,"endTime":747.39,"body":"into a cycle that we hate, that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":747.39,"endTime":752.49,"body":"we then beat ourselves up for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":747.39,"endTime":752.49,"body":"again. So what do you do?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":752.49,"endTime":756.06,"body":"Because I know we were talking"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":752.49,"endTime":756.06,"body":"beforehand about seeing this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":756.06,"endTime":761.22,"body":"pattern, and you know you do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":756.06,"endTime":761.22,"body":"work with both the kids and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":761.46,"endTime":764.76,"body":"helping the parents so the kids"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":761.46,"endTime":764.76,"body":"can be successful. What are some"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":764.76,"endTime":772.26,"body":"tools that you find are helpful"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":764.76,"endTime":772.26,"body":"with the kids navigating this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":772.26,"endTime":774.09,"body":"dynamic with their parents?"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":775.68,"endTime":778.77,"body":"I you know"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":775.68,"endTime":778.77,"body":"your piece about talking about"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":778.77,"endTime":783.75,"body":"like, I don't want to be"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":778.77,"endTime":783.75,"body":"vulnerable becoming this goal"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":783.75,"endTime":787.14,"body":"that we sometimes have so that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":783.75,"endTime":787.14,"body":"other people can't hurt us or"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":787.14,"endTime":792.9,"body":"see that we're struggling. I"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":787.14,"endTime":792.9,"body":"just wanted to kind of mention"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":792.9,"endTime":795.48,"body":"that as well, like in what"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":792.9,"endTime":795.48,"body":"you're talking about about when"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":795.48,"endTime":799.62,"body":"we're shoulding all over things,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":795.48,"endTime":799.62,"body":"it's that when you catch"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":799.62,"endTime":802.32,"body":"yourself doing that, and that's"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":799.62,"endTime":802.32,"body":"some of the work that I like to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":802.32,"endTime":806.01,"body":"do with kids. As you start"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":802.32,"endTime":806.01,"body":"catching the things, or catching"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":806.01,"endTime":810.45,"body":"the feeling in your body like"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":806.01,"endTime":810.45,"body":"that tells you something else is"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":810.45,"endTime":815.82,"body":"going on and that you're trying"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":810.45,"endTime":815.82,"body":"to be something, maybe that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":815.82,"endTime":819.12,"body":"you're not or behave in a way"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":815.82,"endTime":819.12,"body":"because you're trying to protect"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":819.12,"endTime":822.6,"body":"yourself. And of course, you are"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":819.12,"endTime":822.6,"body":"like being vulnerable is is"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":822.6,"endTime":827.85,"body":"scary. And as an adolescent,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":822.6,"endTime":827.85,"body":"when you know so much is about,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":827.88,"endTime":831.84,"body":"what does this mean? About me?"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":827.88,"endTime":831.84,"body":"It's a really, it's a big period"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":831.84,"endTime":835.98,"body":"of where you reflect back to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":831.84,"endTime":835.98,"body":"them over and over, in part,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":836.19,"endTime":839.19,"body":"that's part of their"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":836.19,"endTime":839.19,"body":"development. So when our adults"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":839.19,"endTime":844.68,"body":"don't do that, well, that can be"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":839.19,"endTime":844.68,"body":"problematic, because I'll have"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":844.68,"endTime":849.63,"body":"students who will tell me, Well,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":844.68,"endTime":849.63,"body":"my parents are perfect. And you"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":849.63,"endTime":853.35,"body":"go like, Wow, do you know? And"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":849.63,"endTime":853.35,"body":"to like, try to delve into that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":853.65,"endTime":858.99,"body":"and that. That some of why they"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":853.65,"endTime":858.99,"body":"will limit themselves so they"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":858.99,"endTime":862.32,"body":"limit their own expression to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":858.99,"endTime":862.32,"body":"what will be acceptable within"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":862.32,"endTime":867.27,"body":"their family. And that's really,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":862.32,"endTime":867.27,"body":"I think, part of where that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":867.27,"endTime":871.83,"body":"perfectionism can come in as"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":867.27,"endTime":871.83,"body":"well, and that by what I do and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":871.83,"endTime":876.48,"body":"what I achieve, how I'm going to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":871.83,"endTime":876.48,"body":"get accepted. And it's"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":876.48,"endTime":879.36,"body":"unfortunate in a way, because"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":876.48,"endTime":879.36,"body":"we've all been raised with that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":879.36,"endTime":882.81,"body":"belief, like, like, those of us"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":879.36,"endTime":882.81,"body":"who are working on that, that's"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":882.81,"endTime":885.51,"body":"not how we want to show up. We"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":882.81,"endTime":885.51,"body":"actually want to be like, Oh, I"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":885.54,"endTime":892.32,"body":"totally blew this with my kid,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":885.54,"endTime":892.32,"body":"like it was bad. And for the you"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":892.32,"endTime":896.88,"body":"know, your child to know, we're"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":892.32,"endTime":896.88,"body":"also committed in our family to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":896.88,"endTime":902.1,"body":"doing the repair, and we're not"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":896.88,"endTime":902.1,"body":"going to do this right lots of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":902.1,"endTime":905.64,"body":"times, but we are going to turn"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":902.1,"endTime":905.64,"body":"in towards each other instead of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":905.64,"endTime":911.22,"body":"turning away. And that is hard,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":905.64,"endTime":911.22,"body":"because we as adults also have"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":911.22,"endTime":913.68,"body":"to have that commitment to like,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":911.22,"endTime":913.68,"body":"Okay, I gotta work on my"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":913.68,"endTime":918.12,"body":"communication, and that I'm not"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":913.68,"endTime":918.12,"body":"going to be perfect, and all"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":918.12,"endTime":921.42,"body":"those fears that we have of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":918.12,"endTime":921.42,"body":"like, maybe I'm not capable of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":921.42,"endTime":925.05,"body":"doing this, or I'm going to mess"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":921.42,"endTime":925.05,"body":"up my kid. You also miss out on"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":925.05,"endTime":930.3,"body":"really seeing your kid. And so I"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":925.05,"endTime":930.3,"body":"think I'll work with people who"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":930.3,"endTime":936.78,"body":"are like, I know my kid better"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":930.3,"endTime":936.78,"body":"than anyone Absolutely. And how"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":936.78,"endTime":942.0,"body":"well do you know your kid? Like,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":936.78,"endTime":942.0,"body":"really? Because the kids that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":942.39,"endTime":946.8,"body":"you know that kind of duality of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":942.39,"endTime":946.8,"body":"like who I am with my parents or"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":946.8,"endTime":950.52,"body":"what I let my parent know, when"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":946.8,"endTime":950.52,"body":"we start seeing that kids can't"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":950.52,"endTime":954.15,"body":"start omitting information that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":950.52,"endTime":954.15,"body":"they don't think their parents"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":954.15,"endTime":958.86,"body":"would be okay with. You know,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":954.15,"endTime":958.86,"body":"those things happen, and some of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":958.86,"endTime":962.34,"body":"that becomes part of the"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":958.86,"endTime":962.34,"body":"development. But that collective"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":962.34,"endTime":966.24,"body":"piece about what do we expect"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":962.34,"endTime":966.24,"body":"with our kids and how will we"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":966.24,"endTime":969.27,"body":"support them, comes from the"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":966.24,"endTime":969.27,"body":"adults in their environment,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":969.78,"endTime":975.57,"body":"like that is part of their"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":969.78,"endTime":975.57,"body":"creation story. Is how, how do"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":975.57,"endTime":978.6,"body":"we do this with kids, and what"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":975.57,"endTime":978.6,"body":"do we all agree on that we're"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":978.6,"endTime":984.87,"body":"going to help them with? So just"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":978.6,"endTime":984.87,"body":"that piece of like, how we were"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":984.87,"endTime":987.66,"body":"raised. You mentioned that too?"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":984.87,"endTime":987.66,"body":"Like, that pattern of like,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":988.08,"endTime":991.32,"body":"Well, my dad said sticks and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":988.08,"endTime":991.32,"body":"stones will break your bones,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":991.41,"endTime":996.09,"body":"but words will never hurt you,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":991.41,"endTime":996.09,"body":"not actually helpful, a nice"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":996.09,"endTime":998.97,"body":"idea. But then there's the"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":996.09,"endTime":998.97,"body":"reality of their experience. And"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":998.97,"endTime":1001.55,"body":"we don't, you know, we're"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":998.97,"endTime":1001.55,"body":"learning so much more about how"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1001.55,"endTime":1006.02,"body":"important it is to validate that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1001.55,"endTime":1006.02,"body":"and that it's okay to have the"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1006.02,"endTime":1009.5,"body":"feeling, and then what you do"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1006.02,"endTime":1009.5,"body":"with it is what we want to talk"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1009.5,"endTime":1012.92,"body":"about. And if they don't have"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1009.5,"endTime":1012.92,"body":"outlets, and they don't"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1012.92,"endTime":1016.34,"body":"understand, like, Yeah, that's"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1012.92,"endTime":1016.34,"body":"really normal. Like, you can"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1016.34,"endTime":1022.7,"body":"have really big, big feeling"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1016.34,"endTime":1022.7,"body":"about it, and then be able to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1022.7,"endTime":1025.4,"body":"get yourself back, because, you"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1022.7,"endTime":1025.4,"body":"know, it's okay, you don't get"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1025.4,"endTime":1029.36,"body":"lost in, like, the spiral that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1025.4,"endTime":1029.36,"body":"just will take kids out of,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1029.36,"endTime":1033.59,"body":"like, I can't do this. I can't"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1029.36,"endTime":1033.59,"body":"I'm stupid. This is too I can't"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1033.59,"endTime":1038.33,"body":"do it. Like, the whole like, we"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1033.59,"endTime":1038.33,"body":"can do hard things, and it does"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1038.33,"endTime":1042.05,"body":"take resources for us to be able"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1038.33,"endTime":1042.05,"body":"to do those sometimes, and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1042.05,"endTime":1042.68,"body":"that's okay."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1043.13,"endTime":1046.22,"body":"Yeah, one"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1043.13,"endTime":1046.22,"body":"of the things that you said in a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1046.25,"endTime":1050.96,"body":"previous conversation that we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1046.25,"endTime":1050.96,"body":"had really stood out to me right"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1050.96,"endTime":1056.0,"body":"there, is you said, don't assume"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1050.96,"endTime":1056.0,"body":"kids know how to communicate."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1057.17,"endTime":1063.08,"body":"And I wrote that down because it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1057.17,"endTime":1063.08,"body":"really I so often, especially"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1063.08,"endTime":1066.98,"body":"when we're dealing with kids who"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1063.08,"endTime":1066.98,"body":"are really they pick things up"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1066.98,"endTime":1069.56,"body":"really quickly. I hesitate to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1066.98,"endTime":1069.56,"body":"use the word smart, because I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1069.56,"endTime":1072.35,"body":"know that that gets caught up"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1069.56,"endTime":1072.35,"body":"and like that fixed mindset and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1072.35,"endTime":1076.28,"body":"like, you know, the definitions"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1072.35,"endTime":1076.28,"body":"of people, but who pick things"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1076.28,"endTime":1080.9,"body":"up quickly, who articulate"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1076.28,"endTime":1080.9,"body":"easily, who kind of match you in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1080.9,"endTime":1084.71,"body":"a certain level, it's really"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1080.9,"endTime":1084.71,"body":"easy to forget that they're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1084.71,"endTime":1087.86,"body":"still functioning with Kid"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1084.71,"endTime":1087.86,"body":"brains that aren't fully"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1087.89,"endTime":1092.06,"body":"developed yet, and all the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1087.89,"endTime":1092.06,"body":"things that we might be learning"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1092.06,"endTime":1096.41,"body":"about healthy conflict, you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1092.06,"endTime":1096.41,"body":"know, productive conflict,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1096.44,"endTime":1100.31,"body":"emotional intelligence, and all"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1096.44,"endTime":1100.31,"body":"that we're learning those"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1100.31,"endTime":1102.74,"body":"things, You know, for those"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1100.31,"endTime":1102.74,"body":"folks who are listening, who"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1102.74,"endTime":1105.83,"body":"most, most of whom are are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1102.74,"endTime":1105.83,"body":"interested in personal"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1105.83,"endTime":1110.93,"body":"development, are learning those"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1105.83,"endTime":1110.93,"body":"things. And I always said I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1110.93,"endTime":1116.15,"body":"watched my parents do a lot of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1110.93,"endTime":1116.15,"body":"self work, and I got this tool"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1116.15,"endTime":1119.84,"body":"box of full of tools, but I only"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1116.15,"endTime":1119.84,"body":"learned how to use a hammer"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1120.74,"endTime":1124.82,"body":"because I only had that early"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1120.74,"endTime":1124.82,"body":"conditioning of of everything"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1124.82,"endTime":1128.39,"body":"being a hammer and nail. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1124.82,"endTime":1128.39,"body":"while I watched them get better,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1128.39,"endTime":1131.27,"body":"I could see it, but I couldn't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1128.39,"endTime":1131.27,"body":"take it in, and I didn't know"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1131.27,"endTime":1135.35,"body":"how to articulate. I had, like,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1131.27,"endTime":1135.35,"body":"lots of great sayings. My mom"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1135.35,"endTime":1138.35,"body":"had lots of great sayings that I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1135.35,"endTime":1138.35,"body":"thought were awesome. Again,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1138.47,"endTime":1140.9,"body":"when you said, like, thought out"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1138.47,"endTime":1140.9,"body":"my your parents were perfect."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1140.9,"endTime":1144.71,"body":"That was me. I really thought,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1140.9,"endTime":1144.71,"body":"like they have stuff, but"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1144.74,"endTime":1147.23,"body":"they're, they're they're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1144.74,"endTime":1147.23,"body":"amazing, they're doing all these"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1147.23,"endTime":1151.16,"body":"things, and then I had to do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1147.23,"endTime":1151.16,"body":"that unpacking. But like to have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1151.16,"endTime":1155.15,"body":"a healthy conflict, to actually"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1151.16,"endTime":1155.15,"body":"engage, like I still consider"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1155.15,"endTime":1158.33,"body":"myself, even though I've done a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1155.15,"endTime":1158.33,"body":"lot of work, to be relatively"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1158.33,"endTime":1163.79,"body":"conflict averse, working on it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1158.33,"endTime":1163.79,"body":"getting better and healthy"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1163.79,"endTime":1168.08,"body":"conflict still feels like"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1163.79,"endTime":1168.08,"body":"conflict, and my ability to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1168.11,"endTime":1174.26,"body":"articulate still gets caught in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1168.11,"endTime":1174.26,"body":"the emotional net, and I have a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1174.26,"endTime":1177.77,"body":"fully functioning frontal"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1174.26,"endTime":1177.77,"body":"cortex, you know, fully"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1177.77,"endTime":1185.45,"body":"developed frontal cortex, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1177.77,"endTime":1185.45,"body":"should say. So how do you engage"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1185.45,"endTime":1188.45,"body":"that knowing, okay, their their"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1185.45,"endTime":1188.45,"body":"frontal cortex is fully"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1188.45,"endTime":1191.69,"body":"developed, and they've got all"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1188.45,"endTime":1191.69,"body":"of these patterns that maybe"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1191.69,"endTime":1196.94,"body":"I've started unlearning, but I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1191.69,"endTime":1196.94,"body":"gave in the first place. Where"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1196.94,"endTime":1198.29,"body":"does one go with that?"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1199.29,"endTime":1202.5,"body":"That is such"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1199.29,"endTime":1202.5,"body":"a great question. Because yeah,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1202.5,"endTime":1205.26,"body":"we make so we, I think as"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1202.5,"endTime":1205.26,"body":"adults, we make a lot of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1205.26,"endTime":1209.04,"body":"assumptions, because we just get"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1205.26,"endTime":1209.04,"body":"used to them talking to us, and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1209.04,"endTime":1213.42,"body":"so we assume that they also have"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1209.04,"endTime":1213.42,"body":"skills to do that, but"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1213.42,"endTime":1218.97,"body":"communicating is a very complex"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1213.42,"endTime":1218.97,"body":"skill that can often feel very"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1218.97,"endTime":1225.39,"body":"complicated for them, and so"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1218.97,"endTime":1225.39,"body":"teaching them how to do that, I"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1225.9,"endTime":1231.66,"body":"think, is a lot with listening,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1225.9,"endTime":1231.66,"body":"and I think that we really miss"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1231.66,"endTime":1236.82,"body":"out a lot of time on just"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1231.66,"endTime":1236.82,"body":"actually listening for what"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1236.82,"endTime":1244.11,"body":"they're saying and what they're"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1236.82,"endTime":1244.11,"body":"experiencing, and that that we"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1244.11,"endTime":1247.71,"body":"want to make them feel better so"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1244.11,"endTime":1247.71,"body":"quickly, that even like in a"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1247.71,"endTime":1250.98,"body":"school system or we tried to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1247.71,"endTime":1250.98,"body":"take those decisions away from"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1250.98,"endTime":1254.13,"body":"them, which means they don't get"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1250.98,"endTime":1254.13,"body":"to practice having a voice or"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1254.13,"endTime":1258.75,"body":"saying this doesn't feel okay,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1254.13,"endTime":1258.75,"body":"and as allowing them to say this"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1258.75,"endTime":1264.39,"body":"doesn't feel okay without"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1258.75,"endTime":1264.39,"body":"consequence. Like learning those"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1264.39,"endTime":1267.33,"body":"things is something I think"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1264.39,"endTime":1267.33,"body":"that's really that we end up"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1267.33,"endTime":1270.66,"body":"missing, like in a school"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1267.33,"endTime":1270.66,"body":"setting, for me and when I meet"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1270.66,"endTime":1275.07,"body":"with students, sometimes I do a"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1270.66,"endTime":1275.07,"body":"lot of what I would do in my"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1275.1,"endTime":1279.06,"body":"classes, which is, we talk about"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1275.1,"endTime":1279.06,"body":"communication. We talk about"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1279.06,"endTime":1284.64,"body":"social power, like having them"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1279.06,"endTime":1284.64,"body":"line each other up in order of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1284.64,"endTime":1289.74,"body":"social power. If you want to see"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1284.64,"endTime":1289.74,"body":"a classroom, I mean, it takes"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1289.89,"endTime":1292.89,"body":"being very skilled at"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1289.89,"endTime":1292.89,"body":"facilitating, because you have"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1292.89,"endTime":1296.34,"body":"to maintain their safety, like"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1292.89,"endTime":1296.34,"body":"that, psychological safety and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1296.34,"endTime":1299.1,"body":"the safety outside the"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1296.34,"endTime":1299.1,"body":"classroom. But before that, we"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1299.1,"endTime":1301.83,"body":"work so much on communication"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1299.1,"endTime":1301.83,"body":"skills, because everyone's"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1301.86,"endTime":1306.24,"body":"family has a different set of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1301.86,"endTime":1306.24,"body":"skills and rules, and so we"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1306.24,"endTime":1309.27,"body":"don't talk to kids about that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1306.24,"endTime":1309.27,"body":"stuff. They'll say, like, what"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1309.27,"endTime":1312.84,"body":"is it, what does it look like in"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1309.27,"endTime":1312.84,"body":"your family? Can you are you"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1312.84,"endTime":1316.41,"body":"able to articulate that to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1312.84,"endTime":1316.41,"body":"someone else? What's it feel"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1316.41,"endTime":1318.54,"body":"like? What's it, you know? Like,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1316.41,"endTime":1318.54,"body":"how do you have those"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1318.54,"endTime":1323.91,"body":"conversations? So I think having"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1318.54,"endTime":1323.91,"body":"conversations with kids is a"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1323.91,"endTime":1328.47,"body":"skill that a lot of times we"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1323.91,"endTime":1328.47,"body":"just, when we're raising them,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1328.47,"endTime":1331.35,"body":"we're like, oh, they just,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1328.47,"endTime":1331.35,"body":"they've always been here. We"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1331.35,"endTime":1335.64,"body":"always talk like this, but to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1331.35,"endTime":1335.64,"body":"take a step back, and like you"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1335.73,"endTime":1338.34,"body":"had mentioned that, don't assume"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1335.73,"endTime":1338.34,"body":"that they know how to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1338.34,"endTime":1343.35,"body":"communicate, because"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1338.34,"endTime":1343.35,"body":"communication is really, really"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1343.38,"endTime":1348.6,"body":"a skill, like, did you really"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1343.38,"endTime":1348.6,"body":"hear what they said and then did"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1348.6,"endTime":1353.19,"body":"you make a decision about it, or"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1348.6,"endTime":1353.19,"body":"did you validate it? And so that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1353.31,"endTime":1357.96,"body":"question, I know a lot of, a lot"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1353.31,"endTime":1357.96,"body":"of kids will express that their"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1357.96,"endTime":1360.75,"body":"parents always want them to just"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1357.96,"endTime":1360.75,"body":"solve the problem on the spot,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1362.34,"endTime":1366.3,"body":"and that, of course, we're like,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1362.34,"endTime":1366.3,"body":"Okay, can we? Can we move"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1366.3,"endTime":1368.76,"body":"through this so that we can get"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1366.3,"endTime":1368.76,"body":"on to the thing that I actually"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1368.76,"endTime":1372.45,"body":"need you to do for me? And when"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1368.76,"endTime":1372.45,"body":"you know that, you can catch"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1372.45,"endTime":1376.14,"body":"yourself on that and be like,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1372.45,"endTime":1376.14,"body":"wait a minute, the kid right in"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1376.14,"endTime":1384.48,"body":"front of me is the pause, and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1376.14,"endTime":1384.48,"body":"it's a really beautiful gift to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1384.48,"endTime":1390.36,"body":"have because it also helps them"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1384.48,"endTime":1390.36,"body":"in understanding, oh, you're"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1390.36,"endTime":1393.78,"body":"modeling for them, how you can"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1390.36,"endTime":1393.78,"body":"communicate, and you're, you're"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1393.78,"endTime":1397.23,"body":"modeling for them all the time."},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1393.78,"endTime":1397.23,"body":"And so that's some of the I"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1397.23,"endTime":1402.21,"body":"think there's tools within the"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1397.23,"endTime":1402.21,"body":"family systems and also within"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1402.21,"endTime":1406.35,"body":"schools, because that dynamic is"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1402.21,"endTime":1406.35,"body":"always happening in schools, and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1406.35,"endTime":1410.07,"body":"I've just been fortunate enough"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1406.35,"endTime":1410.07,"body":"that I've been able to to do"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1410.1,"endTime":1413.52,"body":"really in depth education, in"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1410.1,"endTime":1413.52,"body":"particular, starting in middle"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1413.52,"endTime":1418.71,"body":"school with those age groups, so"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1413.52,"endTime":1418.71,"body":"that they can communicate and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1418.71,"endTime":1423.51,"body":"have friendship, because it has"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1418.71,"endTime":1423.51,"body":"so much to do with that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1423.51,"endTime":1427.89,"body":"formative stuff is really"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1423.51,"endTime":1427.89,"body":"important. And as they progress,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1428.4,"endTime":1431.67,"body":"how healthy they basically stay"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1428.4,"endTime":1431.67,"body":"in behaviors, mental health,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1432.18,"endTime":1435.09,"body":"physical activities, all those"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1432.18,"endTime":1435.09,"body":"types of things, and being able"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1435.09,"endTime":1439.44,"body":"to be a good friend and have a"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1435.09,"endTime":1439.44,"body":"friend mean kids. Kids are"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1439.44,"endTime":1443.88,"body":"lonely too, and they play the"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1439.44,"endTime":1443.88,"body":"same game that we do, of showing"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1443.88,"endTime":1447.69,"body":"up and being like, No, I'm good."},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1443.88,"endTime":1447.69,"body":"I'm good. And being able to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1447.78,"endTime":1453.75,"body":"attune with them is something"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1447.78,"endTime":1453.75,"body":"that takes practice and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1453.75,"endTime":1454.41,"body":"intention."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1454.71,"endTime":1457.68,"body":"Yeah, I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1454.71,"endTime":1457.68,"body":"noticing, as you're saying, that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1457.68,"endTime":1460.23,"body":"one of the things that's coming"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1457.68,"endTime":1460.23,"body":"up for me is it's it's an"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1460.23,"endTime":1467.61,"body":"ability to manage our own"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1460.23,"endTime":1467.61,"body":"emotions and our own pain, with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1467.61,"endTime":1471.54,"body":"our child hurting, especially if"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1467.61,"endTime":1471.54,"body":"we feel a certain amount of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1471.54,"endTime":1476.13,"body":"responsibility or that right"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1471.54,"endTime":1476.13,"body":"like this is one of the things"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1476.13,"endTime":1479.67,"body":"that I'm I'm noticing, is like,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1476.13,"endTime":1479.67,"body":"who's being centered in that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1479.67,"endTime":1487.86,"body":"conversation? Is it us and our"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1479.67,"endTime":1487.86,"body":"feelings, or is it our kid and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1487.86,"endTime":1493.2,"body":"their feelings and what their"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1487.86,"endTime":1493.2,"body":"needs are? And that was like,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1493.2,"endTime":1496.14,"body":"that was the first thing that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1493.2,"endTime":1496.14,"body":"jumped out to me, and like I was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1496.17,"endTime":1500.22,"body":"feeling it. I was real. That was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1496.17,"endTime":1500.22,"body":"a visceral experience. As you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1500.22,"endTime":1503.46,"body":"were talking about that, I felt"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1500.22,"endTime":1503.46,"body":"it like, oh yeah, because there"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1503.46,"endTime":1506.28,"body":"are times where I have to really"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1503.46,"endTime":1506.28,"body":"sit with my own stuff, and it's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1506.28,"endTime":1510.87,"body":"hard to put that to the side and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1506.28,"endTime":1510.87,"body":"say, No, this is this is about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1510.87,"endTime":1514.14,"body":"you. The other thing that was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1510.87,"endTime":1514.14,"body":"standing out to me is when you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1514.14,"endTime":1517.26,"body":"said assumptions, and talking"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1514.14,"endTime":1517.26,"body":"about the assumptions that we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1517.26,"endTime":1520.32,"body":"make. This is something that I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1517.26,"endTime":1520.32,"body":"noticed comes up a lot in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1520.32,"endTime":1523.08,"body":"relationships that are long term"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1520.32,"endTime":1523.08,"body":"relationships, is when you've"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1523.08,"endTime":1527.46,"body":"been with somebody for a long"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1523.08,"endTime":1527.46,"body":"time, you're so used to certain"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1527.46,"endTime":1530.73,"body":"patterns that it makes it hard"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1527.46,"endTime":1530.73,"body":"to allow that person to change"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1530.73,"endTime":1535.29,"body":"and grow, because we make"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1530.73,"endTime":1535.29,"body":"assumptions about it. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1535.29,"endTime":1538.41,"body":"they're they're little, they're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1535.29,"endTime":1538.41,"body":"little things. But like one of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1538.41,"endTime":1542.46,"body":"the things that I'll use in as"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1538.41,"endTime":1542.46,"body":"an example is if my husband and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1542.46,"endTime":1546.93,"body":"I are having tension, and we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1542.46,"endTime":1546.93,"body":"always argue because he's coming"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1546.93,"endTime":1550.77,"body":"home late, and so we argue when"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1546.93,"endTime":1550.77,"body":"he comes in the door, then my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1550.77,"endTime":1554.34,"body":"body will respond, be ready for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1550.77,"endTime":1554.34,"body":"the fight, like when I hear him"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1554.34,"endTime":1558.78,"body":"on the stairs right like, and we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1554.34,"endTime":1558.78,"body":"don't even think about all the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1558.78,"endTime":1560.91,"body":"little things that go into that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1558.78,"endTime":1560.91,"body":"pattern. And then, when you know"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1560.91,"endTime":1565.2,"body":"somebody their entire life"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1560.91,"endTime":1565.2,"body":"because they're your kid, the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1565.2,"endTime":1571.95,"body":"little assumptions that we make"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1565.2,"endTime":1571.95,"body":"there become a huge facet in how"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1571.95,"endTime":1575.4,"body":"we understand ourselves and how"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1571.95,"endTime":1575.4,"body":"we understand them, and how they"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1575.4,"endTime":1582.21,"body":"understand themselves and within"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1575.4,"endTime":1582.21,"body":"that relationship. And is it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1582.21,"endTime":1586.74,"body":"safe? Is it safe to explore"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1582.21,"endTime":1586.74,"body":"that? Because there are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1586.74,"endTime":1589.83,"body":"assumptions when they become"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1586.74,"endTime":1589.83,"body":"part of us, like they're part of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1589.83,"endTime":1594.12,"body":"our belief of who we are and who"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1589.83,"endTime":1594.12,"body":"somebody else is and who they"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1594.12,"endTime":1597.66,"body":"are in relation to us. Having"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1594.12,"endTime":1597.66,"body":"that challenge can feel like a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1597.66,"endTime":1603.42,"body":"threat. It can feel like an"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1597.66,"endTime":1603.42,"body":"attack. And so how resilient are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1603.42,"endTime":1606.84,"body":"you to show up to that? But"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1603.42,"endTime":1606.84,"body":"also, and I imagine this shows"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1606.84,"endTime":1610.2,"body":"up in the classrooms too,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1606.84,"endTime":1610.2,"body":"because when you're dealing with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1610.2,"endTime":1614.58,"body":"a lot of kids, especially from"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1610.2,"endTime":1614.58,"body":"different cultural backgrounds,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1614.88,"endTime":1618.9,"body":"different socioeconomic"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1614.88,"endTime":1618.9,"body":"backgrounds, and the ways that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1618.9,"endTime":1624.12,"body":"people learn how to engage for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1618.9,"endTime":1624.12,"body":"their ability to function in the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1624.12,"endTime":1630.81,"body":"environments in which they live,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1624.12,"endTime":1630.81,"body":"you're gonna have a lot of that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1630.81,"endTime":1636.15,"body":"navigating of how things get"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1630.81,"endTime":1636.15,"body":"articulated like this. This is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1636.15,"endTime":1639.99,"body":"unsafe, so I'm going to use this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1636.15,"endTime":1639.99,"body":"as a way to make fun of people,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1640.5,"endTime":1643.47,"body":"because I need to emphasize what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1640.5,"endTime":1643.47,"body":"is normal to create a sense of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1643.47,"endTime":1648.09,"body":"safety, but who's choosing what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1643.47,"endTime":1648.09,"body":"is normalized, and then what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1648.09,"endTime":1653.79,"body":"comes home, and then, if the kid"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1648.09,"endTime":1653.79,"body":"knows that that's not part of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1654.45,"endTime":1657.45,"body":"the way that we function, and we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1654.45,"endTime":1657.45,"body":"haven't built an ability to have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1657.45,"endTime":1659.88,"body":"a conversation about that and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1657.45,"endTime":1659.88,"body":"process the feelings that come"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1659.88,"endTime":1664.53,"body":"up with that, it's almost, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1659.88,"endTime":1664.53,"body":"almost see, like a calcification"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1664.89,"endTime":1673.29,"body":"that happens in our relationship"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1664.89,"endTime":1673.29,"body":"and in their interpersonal"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1673.29,"endTime":1677.22,"body":"relationships, and how safe they"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1673.29,"endTime":1677.22,"body":"feel because of how safe they"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1677.22,"endTime":1681.63,"body":"feel at home and with adults."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1677.22,"endTime":1681.63,"body":"That was a lot. So I'm going to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1681.63,"endTime":1684.36,"body":"throw the ball to your court,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1681.63,"endTime":1684.36,"body":"because my brain is, like,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1684.36,"endTime":1684.78,"body":"buzzing."},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1685.44,"endTime":1688.26,"body":"I love all"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1685.44,"endTime":1688.26,"body":"of this. So because it really"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1688.26,"endTime":1690.45,"body":"is, there's so much, and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1688.26,"endTime":1690.45,"body":"there's, like, a really big"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1690.45,"endTime":1694.77,"body":"view, and then there's and it"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1690.45,"endTime":1694.77,"body":"applies across all these"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1694.77,"endTime":1699.78,"body":"different, you know, layers of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1694.77,"endTime":1699.78,"body":"of how we exist and that lived"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1699.78,"endTime":1702.75,"body":"experience you're talking about,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1699.78,"endTime":1702.75,"body":"like, do you really know their"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1702.75,"endTime":1706.14,"body":"lived experience? And do you"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1702.75,"endTime":1706.14,"body":"value it like we assume that we"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1706.14,"endTime":1711.48,"body":"do, and they get busy being who"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1706.14,"endTime":1711.48,"body":"they're supposed to be, because"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1711.48,"endTime":1715.02,"body":"we don't kind of help them"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1711.48,"endTime":1715.02,"body":"sometimes to be who they"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1715.02,"endTime":1720.96,"body":"actually are, and it gets lost."},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1715.02,"endTime":1720.96,"body":"And so playing that like, I will"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1720.96,"endTime":1725.1,"body":"ask a parent or a guardian"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1720.96,"endTime":1725.1,"body":"questions. So do you know better"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1725.13,"endTime":1728.4,"body":"than your kid? That piece of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1725.13,"endTime":1728.4,"body":"when you start getting into, are"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1728.4,"endTime":1731.37,"body":"you getting into a power"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1728.4,"endTime":1731.37,"body":"struggle? And this is in a"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1731.37,"endTime":1735.87,"body":"classroom, or it's in in your"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1731.37,"endTime":1735.87,"body":"family system, in your culture,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1735.9,"endTime":1740.31,"body":"in your you know, like, what's"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1735.9,"endTime":1740.31,"body":"the power struggle for you? And"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1740.31,"endTime":1742.8,"body":"oftentimes just that question"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1740.31,"endTime":1742.8,"body":"of, Do you feel like you know"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1742.8,"endTime":1746.46,"body":"better than your kid? And"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1742.8,"endTime":1746.46,"body":"typically the answer is, well,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1746.46,"endTime":1753.87,"body":"yes, they're just a kid. And so"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1746.46,"endTime":1753.87,"body":"that piece, I think, is really"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1753.87,"endTime":1759.39,"body":"good information, because"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1753.87,"endTime":1759.39,"body":"listening to kids and being like"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1759.54,"endTime":1763.8,"body":"that is what they think that is"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1759.54,"endTime":1763.8,"body":"what is so real for them, and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1763.8,"endTime":1768.57,"body":"whether or not you feel it's"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1763.8,"endTime":1768.57,"body":"valid isn't what we're talking"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1768.57,"endTime":1773.16,"body":"about. And so that thing you're"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1768.57,"endTime":1773.16,"body":"talking about is like, have you"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1773.16,"endTime":1777.45,"body":"centered yourself? Is what we"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1773.16,"endTime":1777.45,"body":"have to kind of just check on"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1777.45,"endTime":1781.62,"body":"ourselves if we're doing that."},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1777.45,"endTime":1781.62,"body":"So that is one of the questions"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1781.62,"endTime":1786.63,"body":"I like to ask. And you know,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1781.62,"endTime":1786.63,"body":"I'll ask students, what would"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1786.63,"endTime":1790.08,"body":"your parents be surprised to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1786.63,"endTime":1790.08,"body":"learn about you? Like, what do"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1790.08,"endTime":1793.47,"body":"you wish that you could say to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1790.08,"endTime":1793.47,"body":"them? What do you wish that they"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1793.47,"endTime":1797.97,"body":"knew about you that they don't"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1793.47,"endTime":1797.97,"body":"and parents can ask themselves"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1798.18,"endTime":1801.39,"body":"and ask their kids these"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1798.18,"endTime":1801.39,"body":"questions. Right? But those"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1801.39,"endTime":1805.38,"body":"things that need to be in place"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1801.39,"endTime":1805.38,"body":"before a kid who doesn't feel"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1805.44,"endTime":1808.23,"body":"that safety with their parents"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1805.44,"endTime":1808.23,"body":"that it would be okay to say"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1808.23,"endTime":1813.06,"body":"that won't, of course, and it's"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1808.23,"endTime":1813.06,"body":"not like, oh, because my parents"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1813.06,"endTime":1818.04,"body":"are so mean. It's really just"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1813.06,"endTime":1818.04,"body":"they are so, so, so, so tuned in"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1818.97,"endTime":1823.98,"body":"like, their feelers are out for,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1818.97,"endTime":1823.98,"body":"like, Do you love and accept me?"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1824.97,"endTime":1828.21,"body":"That's what they're doing all"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1824.97,"endTime":1828.21,"body":"the time, and it can be so"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1828.21,"endTime":1832.98,"body":"tiring, and they're trying to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1828.21,"endTime":1832.98,"body":"survive. And they're also at a"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1832.98,"endTime":1835.5,"body":"time when they need to be able"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1832.98,"endTime":1835.5,"body":"to be all these different"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1835.5,"endTime":1838.47,"body":"things, you know, like we talked"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1835.5,"endTime":1838.47,"body":"about about, like, you have this"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1838.71,"endTime":1843.66,"body":"huge box of clothes that you"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1838.71,"endTime":1843.66,"body":"just get to play dress up. Like,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1843.72,"endTime":1847.8,"body":"how many outfits do you choose?"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1843.72,"endTime":1847.8,"body":"What do you try on? Well, like I"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1847.8,"endTime":1850.53,"body":"would only do this. Okay, what"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1847.8,"endTime":1850.53,"body":"would your what would your"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1850.53,"endTime":1853.95,"body":"family say you're allowed to try"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1850.53,"endTime":1853.95,"body":"on? What does society say you"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1853.95,"endTime":1856.53,"body":"would try on? What your friends"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1853.95,"endTime":1856.53,"body":"say you would try on if you were"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1856.53,"endTime":1859.2,"body":"to flip into another friend"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1856.53,"endTime":1859.2,"body":"group, what would they tell you"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1859.2,"endTime":1862.62,"body":"you had to try on? So they're"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1859.2,"endTime":1862.62,"body":"really doing this identity"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1862.62,"endTime":1866.19,"body":"formation, and that's kind of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1862.62,"endTime":1866.19,"body":"the complexity of what's going"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1866.19,"endTime":1871.83,"body":"on. And it is, I like to think"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1866.19,"endTime":1871.83,"body":"of them that we know, like we're"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1871.83,"endTime":1876.06,"body":"learning so much about bias and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1871.83,"endTime":1876.06,"body":"kind of the cultural things that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1876.06,"endTime":1879.36,"body":"happen that these are all"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1876.06,"endTime":1879.36,"body":"cultures. Like we have cultures"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1879.36,"endTime":1881.16,"body":"in our families, we have"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1879.36,"endTime":1881.16,"body":"cultures that we live in. We"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1881.16,"endTime":1884.37,"body":"have cultures in school. We have"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1881.16,"endTime":1884.37,"body":"cultures within cultures in"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1884.37,"endTime":1887.52,"body":"school, and we're relying on"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1884.37,"endTime":1887.52,"body":"these thoughts, like when you"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1887.52,"endTime":1890.13,"body":"talk about that community"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1887.52,"endTime":1890.13,"body":"foundation and that collective"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1890.13,"endTime":1895.26,"body":"foundation. We have to rely on"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1890.13,"endTime":1895.26,"body":"the adults in our community to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1895.26,"endTime":1900.57,"body":"have, or be trying to have a"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1895.26,"endTime":1900.57,"body":"skill level in the society we"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1900.57,"endTime":1903.69,"body":"live in, under the pressure of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1900.57,"endTime":1903.69,"body":"everything they're doing in"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1903.69,"endTime":1907.11,"body":"their own day to day lives,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1903.69,"endTime":1907.11,"body":"trying to be human. Like it can"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1907.11,"endTime":1912.54,"body":"seem like just a ridiculous ask,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1907.11,"endTime":1912.54,"body":"but these moments of saying"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1912.54,"endTime":1916.53,"body":"like, Okay, I'm gonna really try"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1912.54,"endTime":1916.53,"body":"to see my kid as if I'm just"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1916.53,"endTime":1922.05,"body":"meeting them today. And I find"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1916.53,"endTime":1922.05,"body":"that it can be really powerful"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1922.53,"endTime":1926.88,"body":"to get yourself out of the way."},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1922.53,"endTime":1926.88,"body":"Like, I know I'm gonna say I"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1926.88,"endTime":1929.46,"body":"know nothing about this kid."},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1926.88,"endTime":1929.46,"body":"Like, could you tell me more"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1929.46,"endTime":1932.64,"body":"about that? Like, I want to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1929.46,"endTime":1932.64,"body":"understand what that feels like"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1932.64,"endTime":1936.93,"body":"for you, and knowing that you"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1932.64,"endTime":1936.93,"body":"might get some pushback, but"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1936.93,"endTime":1940.5,"body":"just doing the practice and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1936.93,"endTime":1940.5,"body":"letting it be out there so that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1940.5,"endTime":1943.5,"body":"they have a place to land when"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1940.5,"endTime":1943.5,"body":"they need it, and they know that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1943.5,"endTime":1945.84,"body":"they could maybe start having"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1943.5,"endTime":1945.84,"body":"some conversation."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1946.41,"endTime":1946.74,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1946.74,"endTime":1949.29,"body":"And you can"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1946.74,"endTime":1949.29,"body":"be straight up, be like, I"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1949.29,"endTime":1952.41,"body":"haven't been doing this before"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1949.29,"endTime":1952.41,"body":"with you. I don't really want to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1952.41,"endTime":1954.33,"body":"practice because our"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1952.41,"endTime":1954.33,"body":"relationship is really"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1954.33,"endTime":1957.84,"body":"important. And learning more"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1954.33,"endTime":1957.84,"body":"about how tough it is to kind of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1958.11,"endTime":1963.27,"body":"be an adolescent, or whatever"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1958.11,"endTime":1963.27,"body":"that is, or I noticed that, you"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1963.27,"endTime":1967.59,"body":"know, when you're feeling like,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1963.27,"endTime":1967.59,"body":"oh my gosh, I can't get this"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1967.59,"endTime":1970.65,"body":"paper done. I can't even start"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1967.59,"endTime":1970.65,"body":"like, you get so overwhelmed,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1970.86,"endTime":1974.28,"body":"and then it becomes about you"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1970.86,"endTime":1974.28,"body":"turn on yourself. And I'm just"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1974.28,"endTime":1976.86,"body":"curious about what happens"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1974.28,"endTime":1976.86,"body":"there, because it seems like it"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1976.86,"endTime":1979.89,"body":"would feel really bad. Instead"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1976.86,"endTime":1979.89,"body":"of being like, Could you stop"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1979.89,"endTime":1982.11,"body":"doing that? Like, oh, you"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1979.89,"endTime":1982.11,"body":"should. You don't worry about"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1982.11,"endTime":1986.88,"body":"it, you and then we should on"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1982.11,"endTime":1986.88,"body":"our kids, and it's okay. Of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1986.88,"endTime":1991.62,"body":"course, we do all of this like,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1986.88,"endTime":1991.62,"body":"this is, this is imperfection"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1991.65,"endTime":1996.27,"body":"and beautiful and filled with"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1991.65,"endTime":1996.27,"body":"love and led in that way. And we"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1996.27,"endTime":2000.29,"body":"just don't always know, and it's"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":1996.27,"endTime":2000.29,"body":"hard not to get caught up in"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2000.29,"endTime":2006.02,"body":"what the day to day is, and see"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2000.29,"endTime":2006.02,"body":"instead, like, Oh, this is"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2006.02,"endTime":2011.03,"body":"what's going on with my kid and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2006.02,"endTime":2011.03,"body":"with those high achieving kids,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2011.06,"endTime":2015.77,"body":"and also, like, with the neuro"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2011.06,"endTime":2015.77,"body":"divergent brains that kind of do"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2015.77,"endTime":2018.95,"body":"attune to like, look at"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2015.77,"endTime":2018.95,"body":"different things and have"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2018.95,"endTime":2023.96,"body":"different sensitivities in terms"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2018.95,"endTime":2023.96,"body":"of, like, justice and like, you"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2023.96,"endTime":2028.34,"body":"have to know those things are"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2023.96,"endTime":2028.34,"body":"going on so that you don't shut"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2028.34,"endTime":2030.83,"body":"it down. And it's not that you"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2028.34,"endTime":2030.83,"body":"shouldn't have boundaries and be"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2030.83,"endTime":2033.68,"body":"like, we don't. You don't need"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2030.83,"endTime":2033.68,"body":"to get as upset as you possibly"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2033.68,"endTime":2036.86,"body":"can be right now, because we"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2033.68,"endTime":2036.86,"body":"don't want kids doing that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2037.16,"endTime":2042.14,"body":"either. But knowing, like, how"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2037.16,"endTime":2042.14,"body":"do you manage yourself in"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2042.14,"endTime":2046.49,"body":"between that, so that you can be"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2042.14,"endTime":2046.49,"body":"okay and know that you'll be"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2046.49,"endTime":2050.75,"body":"okay and trust yourself like"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2046.49,"endTime":2050.75,"body":"that, trust that they need to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2051.23,"endTime":2056.15,"body":"experience as adults, also trust"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2051.23,"endTime":2056.15,"body":"them, but not assuming that they"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2056.15,"endTime":2059.24,"body":"know how to do it. Because if"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2056.15,"endTime":2059.24,"body":"they could do it, they would,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2059.9,"endTime":2063.32,"body":"and that is where we drop kids"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2059.9,"endTime":2063.32,"body":"off and be like, well, and then"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2063.32,"endTime":2066.35,"body":"we're and then we get frustrated"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2063.32,"endTime":2066.35,"body":"with them, right? Like, how many"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2066.65,"endTime":2069.92,"body":"teachers just be like, Well, I"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2066.65,"endTime":2069.92,"body":"did it yesterday. I mean, then"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2069.92,"endTime":2073.1,"body":"that next week, he wasn't, you"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2069.92,"endTime":2073.1,"body":"know, like, those things like,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2073.1,"endTime":2078.47,"body":"well, yes, they're not little"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2073.1,"endTime":2078.47,"body":"consistent beings, and that's"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2078.47,"endTime":2082.91,"body":"okay. Like, stuff gets in the"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2078.47,"endTime":2082.91,"body":"way, and we try to figure out"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2082.91,"endTime":2085.88,"body":"what those things actually get"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2082.91,"endTime":2085.88,"body":"in the way, and help them to be"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2085.88,"endTime":2091.46,"body":"able to see them for themselves,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2085.88,"endTime":2091.46,"body":"because they do not want to be"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2091.46,"endTime":2094.55,"body":"helpless. They don't want to be"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2091.46,"endTime":2094.55,"body":"able to not figure things out"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2094.91,"endTime":2099.26,"body":"like those they the like. I want"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2094.91,"endTime":2099.26,"body":"to be frustrating to the adults"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2099.26,"endTime":2104.57,"body":"around me. Yeah, it's not really"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2099.26,"endTime":2104.57,"body":"a thing. Behavior is"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2104.6,"endTime":2110.03,"body":"communication, and it's just,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2104.6,"endTime":2110.03,"body":"again, not great communication."},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2110.09,"endTime":2112.88,"body":"And then they don't get their"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2110.09,"endTime":2112.88,"body":"needs met, and then they think"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2112.88,"endTime":2115.34,"body":"they can't get their needs met,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2112.88,"endTime":2115.34,"body":"and you end up in those types of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2115.34,"endTime":2120.44,"body":"cycles which become driven by"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2115.34,"endTime":2120.44,"body":"thoughts, which then generate"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2120.44,"endTime":2124.16,"body":"the feelings that they have and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2120.44,"endTime":2124.16,"body":"don't know what to do with."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2124.75,"endTime":2130.06,"body":"Yeah. No,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2124.75,"endTime":2130.06,"body":"that that is, that is great. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2130.06,"endTime":2137.89,"body":"I, I love that. It reminds me of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2130.06,"endTime":2137.89,"body":"how often I've had a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2137.89,"endTime":2141.49,"body":"conversation with my son who"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2137.89,"endTime":2141.49,"body":"we've gotten therapy and so he's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2141.49,"endTime":2146.11,"body":"able to articulate now when he"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2141.49,"endTime":2146.11,"body":"is stuck in something, and I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2146.14,"endTime":2149.98,"body":"I'll call out and he's like, I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2146.14,"endTime":2149.98,"body":"already beating myself up. Like"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2149.98,"endTime":2153.7,"body":"I'm getting even more upset when"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2149.98,"endTime":2153.7,"body":"you are helping me understand"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2153.7,"endTime":2156.91,"body":"what I did, because I know what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2153.7,"endTime":2156.91,"body":"I did, and I'm already beating"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2156.91,"endTime":2162.61,"body":"myself up for it. I'm like, Oh,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2156.91,"endTime":2162.61,"body":"well, what support do you need"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2162.61,"endTime":2166.21,"body":"right now? You know to be able"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2162.61,"endTime":2166.21,"body":"to ask those questions is so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2166.21,"endTime":2173.32,"body":"powerful and to remember that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2166.21,"endTime":2173.32,"body":"the behavior is a language that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2173.32,"endTime":2177.73,"body":"is so important, and it's a it's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2173.32,"endTime":2177.73,"body":"a clunky language, but it is a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2177.73,"endTime":2181.45,"body":"language, and it's often not the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2177.73,"endTime":2181.45,"body":"language that we've been"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2181.45,"endTime":2186.91,"body":"conditioned to interpret it as"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2181.45,"endTime":2186.91,"body":"it's like we need a decoder, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2187.54,"endTime":2189.73,"body":"we don't actually need a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2187.54,"endTime":2189.73,"body":"decoder. We just need to ask"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2189.73,"endTime":2192.85,"body":"questions and be a safe place."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2189.73,"endTime":2192.85,"body":"The other thing that stood out"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2192.85,"endTime":2198.19,"body":"to me as you were sharing about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2192.85,"endTime":2198.19,"body":"this is that doing the work to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2198.19,"endTime":2203.47,"body":"be able to emotionally regulate"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2198.19,"endTime":2203.47,"body":"and not center yourself as a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2203.47,"endTime":2207.28,"body":"adult is so important, because I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2203.47,"endTime":2207.28,"body":"know that one of the things that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2207.28,"endTime":2212.14,"body":"I took on as a kid was it was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2207.28,"endTime":2212.14,"body":"that I was afraid that I would"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2212.14,"endTime":2215.8,"body":"upset my parents by sharing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2212.14,"endTime":2215.8,"body":"something, not that it would"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2215.8,"endTime":2220.15,"body":"come back at me, but that that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2215.8,"endTime":2220.15,"body":"Their upset could be harmful to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2220.15,"endTime":2224.26,"body":"me like, and not, not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2220.15,"endTime":2224.26,"body":"necessarily in a like, they're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2224.26,"endTime":2227.83,"body":"mad at me way, but just they're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2224.26,"endTime":2227.83,"body":"if they're disappointed in me,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2227.83,"endTime":2231.73,"body":"if they're, you know, if I let"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2227.83,"endTime":2231.73,"body":"them down, if I if I'm not who?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2231.73,"endTime":2235.27,"body":"And this applied to teachers"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2231.73,"endTime":2235.27,"body":"too. Like, there was this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2235.27,"endTime":2239.83,"body":"pressure that, and I'm sure it's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2235.27,"endTime":2239.83,"body":"probably rooted in that fear of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2239.83,"endTime":2242.92,"body":"abandonment, but I didn't really"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2239.83,"endTime":2242.92,"body":"think of it as it wouldn't have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2242.92,"endTime":2245.26,"body":"been, like an intentional"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2242.92,"endTime":2245.26,"body":"abandonment would have been,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2245.26,"endTime":2249.49,"body":"they would shut down. I was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2245.26,"endTime":2249.49,"body":"responsible for caring for their"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2249.49,"endTime":2252.04,"body":"feelings. And now what they"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2249.49,"endTime":2252.04,"body":"didn't even tell me that. I just"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2252.04,"endTime":2258.19,"body":"decided that. I, you know, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2252.04,"endTime":2258.19,"body":"took that on. So to that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2258.22,"endTime":2262.36,"body":"dynamic, one of the things I'll"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2258.22,"endTime":2262.36,"body":"work with clients a lot with is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2262.36,"endTime":2265.51,"body":"like having that conversation"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2262.36,"endTime":2265.51,"body":"with their younger self, of,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2265.51,"endTime":2269.62,"body":"like, I can handle this. Like,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2265.51,"endTime":2269.62,"body":"if you as a if you're a little"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2269.62,"endTime":2273.64,"body":"kid, was jumping out right now,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2269.62,"endTime":2273.64,"body":"going, danger is awful. What"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2273.64,"endTime":2277.57,"body":"would you say to her? And this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2273.64,"endTime":2277.57,"body":"actually just came up with a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2277.57,"endTime":2279.85,"body":"client, and the client was like,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2277.57,"endTime":2279.85,"body":"Well, I would tell her that I've"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2279.85,"endTime":2284.38,"body":"got this. I'm going to take care"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2279.85,"endTime":2284.38,"body":"of you, and I think that's part"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2284.38,"endTime":2288.58,"body":"of that we need to be able to do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2284.38,"endTime":2288.58,"body":"that for ourselves, so that we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2288.58,"endTime":2294.22,"body":"can be stable and create a safe"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2288.58,"endTime":2294.22,"body":"space for our kids to have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2294.28,"endTime":2298.45,"body":"whatever feelings they need to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2294.28,"endTime":2298.45,"body":"have and be whoever they need to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2298.45,"endTime":2303.31,"body":"be as they evolve. And that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2298.45,"endTime":2303.31,"body":"question that you asked of like,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2303.43,"endTime":2307.09,"body":"do you think you know better?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2303.43,"endTime":2307.09,"body":"You might know better in the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2307.09,"endTime":2312.79,"body":"broad world of like things, you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2307.09,"endTime":2312.79,"body":"know, lived experiences and all"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2312.79,"endTime":2315.58,"body":"of that, but they need to have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2312.79,"endTime":2315.58,"body":"their own lived experience that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2315.94,"endTime":2319.57,"body":"the caterpillars become"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2315.94,"endTime":2319.57,"body":"butterfly without the digesting"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2319.57,"endTime":2325.78,"body":"itself part, and that's hard to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2319.57,"endTime":2325.78,"body":"hold space for our kids to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2326.44,"endTime":2329.86,"body":"digest themselves, because it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2326.44,"endTime":2329.86,"body":"can be painful and it can be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2330.4,"endTime":2336.67,"body":"really difficult. And if we can"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2330.4,"endTime":2336.67,"body":"be part of the cocoon, if we or"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2336.67,"endTime":2342.13,"body":"the chrysalis, or whatever, not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2336.67,"endTime":2342.13,"body":"a biologist, we can be, if we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2342.13,"endTime":2346.99,"body":"can, can feed that structure and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2342.13,"endTime":2346.99,"body":"support that instead of being,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2347.53,"endTime":2350.98,"body":"instead of trying to pull it off"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2347.53,"endTime":2350.98,"body":"of them and force them to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2350.98,"endTime":2355.21,"body":"butterfly that we know that they"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2350.98,"endTime":2355.21,"body":"are or that they can become, but"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2355.21,"endTime":2359.23,"body":"like that is part of the process"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2355.21,"endTime":2359.23,"body":"of them becoming that. So can we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2359.23,"endTime":2364.21,"body":"hold that space and listen. It's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2359.23,"endTime":2364.21,"body":"hard we have to because we have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2364.21,"endTime":2365.29,"body":"to deal with our own stuff."},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2366.11,"endTime":2371.18,"body":"It is, and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2366.11,"endTime":2371.18,"body":"we're not used to being"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2371.18,"endTime":2378.11,"body":"intentional with how we listen"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2371.18,"endTime":2378.11,"body":"to kids, like, really making"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2378.11,"endTime":2382.22,"body":"space for that and being like"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2378.11,"endTime":2382.22,"body":"that is like, they think an"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2382.22,"endTime":2384.35,"body":"adult is going to think it's"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2382.22,"endTime":2384.35,"body":"stupid what they have to say"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2384.35,"endTime":2387.71,"body":"sometimes, and it's just that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2384.35,"endTime":2387.71,"body":"kind of stuff. And you're"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2387.71,"endTime":2391.37,"body":"talking about that fear that,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2387.71,"endTime":2391.37,"body":"you know is a human thing, of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2391.37,"endTime":2395.9,"body":"like, I don't want to be"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2391.37,"endTime":2395.9,"body":"abandoned. And if, when we work"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2395.9,"endTime":2399.5,"body":"with kids who have been have"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2395.9,"endTime":2399.5,"body":"been abandoned, and are like,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2399.5,"endTime":2403.73,"body":"Why did myparent leave? It was"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2399.5,"endTime":2403.73,"body":"because of me, something I did,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2403.76,"endTime":2406.73,"body":"something I said. And even"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2403.76,"endTime":2406.73,"body":"though we know that's not"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2406.73,"endTime":2410.57,"body":"rational, or we can be right, we"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2406.73,"endTime":2410.57,"body":"can out think it our intellect,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2410.93,"endTime":2413.24,"body":"there's deep feeling in that."},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2410.93,"endTime":2413.24,"body":"And one of the things that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2413.24,"endTime":2418.01,"body":"you're talking about is, I think"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2413.24,"endTime":2418.01,"body":"that when we're trying to do"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2418.01,"endTime":2421.49,"body":"that, like, okay, come on, come"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2418.01,"endTime":2421.49,"body":"on out of there. You're ready,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2421.52,"endTime":2426.5,"body":"let's go. And they're like new"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2421.52,"endTime":2426.5,"body":"I'm not is that we have to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2426.5,"endTime":2431.0,"body":"sometimes shift our expectation"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2426.5,"endTime":2431.0,"body":"and let them help set what those"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2431.0,"endTime":2433.7,"body":"are. We, of course, don't want"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2431.0,"endTime":2433.7,"body":"to be like here. The bar is"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2433.7,"endTime":2436.55,"body":"really low, but it is meeting"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2433.7,"endTime":2436.55,"body":"them where they're at and then"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2436.55,"endTime":2440.6,"body":"trying to move up to what"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2436.55,"endTime":2440.6,"body":"they're able to do so that they"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2440.6,"endTime":2445.31,"body":"know themselves from knowing"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2440.6,"endTime":2445.31,"body":"themselves and their limits and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2445.31,"endTime":2449.21,"body":"their possibilities is"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2445.31,"endTime":2449.21,"body":"essential. It's just absolutely"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2449.21,"endTime":2453.83,"body":"essential in terms of how they"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2449.21,"endTime":2453.83,"body":"progress, you know, as into"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2453.83,"endTime":2458.45,"body":"adolescents, into college and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2453.83,"endTime":2458.45,"body":"adults. And one of the things I"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2458.45,"endTime":2461.72,"body":"would say is getting caught up"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2458.45,"endTime":2461.72,"body":"in trying to help them analyze"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2461.72,"endTime":2465.71,"body":"things is a very typical thing"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2461.72,"endTime":2465.71,"body":"that we do, because we try to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2465.71,"endTime":2471.77,"body":"out think it, and instead,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2465.71,"endTime":2471.77,"body":"something that can be tried is"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2473.15,"endTime":2477.41,"body":"is just to immediately go to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2473.15,"endTime":2477.41,"body":"compassion and support. Now,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2477.44,"endTime":2480.2,"body":"what do you think? You know"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2477.44,"endTime":2480.2,"body":"they're having an emotional"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2480.2,"endTime":2483.08,"body":"moment and you're like, What do"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2480.2,"endTime":2483.08,"body":"you think? Could you explain?"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2483.2,"endTime":2487.67,"body":"Can you explain more? Okay, keep"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2483.2,"endTime":2487.67,"body":"trying to explain. Be like, just"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2487.79,"endTime":2491.24,"body":"try a time. Then you don't do"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2487.79,"endTime":2491.24,"body":"that at all to them. It can be a"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2491.24,"endTime":2494.12,"body":"really powerful shift where"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2491.24,"endTime":2494.12,"body":"they'll be like, Wait, what is"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2494.12,"endTime":2497.48,"body":"happening to be like, because"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2494.12,"endTime":2497.48,"body":"that's where you're saying,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2497.48,"endTime":2500.39,"body":"like, here's your feeling life,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2497.48,"endTime":2500.39,"body":"which we come on with so"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2500.39,"endTime":2504.17,"body":"strongly, and I'm trying to get"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2500.39,"endTime":2504.17,"body":"you back up in your head to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2504.17,"endTime":2507.44,"body":"figure it out. But that doesn't"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2504.17,"endTime":2507.44,"body":"always make the feelings go"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2507.44,"endTime":2510.74,"body":"away, and especially in that age"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2507.44,"endTime":2510.74,"body":"group like that, is not what"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2510.74,"endTime":2514.85,"body":"their capacity is at for most of"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2510.74,"endTime":2514.85,"body":"the time. And so they just need"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2514.85,"endTime":2518.12,"body":"a lot of assistance. And just"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2514.85,"endTime":2518.12,"body":"because they can have a"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2518.12,"endTime":2521.03,"body":"conversation or be like, I'm not"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2518.12,"endTime":2521.03,"body":"worried about it, where it tell"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2521.03,"endTime":2525.53,"body":"you how it is. It doesn't mean"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2521.03,"endTime":2525.53,"body":"that they're not having a deep"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2525.53,"endTime":2528.74,"body":"experience that they really do"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2525.53,"endTime":2528.74,"body":"need some support with. And they"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2528.74,"endTime":2533.69,"body":"can act so much more mature."},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2528.74,"endTime":2533.69,"body":"Thatwe're like, they're handling"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2533.69,"endTime":2538.43,"body":"it. They're good. Yes, at some"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2533.69,"endTime":2538.43,"body":"level they are, and we don't"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2538.43,"endTime":2543.44,"body":"step out. It's also like, wow,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2538.43,"endTime":2543.44,"body":"that sounds really hard. I want"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2543.44,"endTime":2546.89,"body":"to hear more about it. I don't"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2543.44,"endTime":2546.89,"body":"know what that's like. Or would"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2546.89,"endTime":2549.77,"body":"you like to hear a story of a"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2546.89,"endTime":2549.77,"body":"time that happened for me and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2549.77,"endTime":2555.32,"body":"what I did instead of just doing"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2549.77,"endTime":2555.32,"body":"the advice thing, like you're"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2555.35,"endTime":2559.55,"body":"kind of doing that, like they"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2555.35,"endTime":2559.55,"body":"are entities of their own, and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2560.0,"endTime":2562.88,"body":"we oftentimes, I think can"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2560.0,"endTime":2562.88,"body":"forget that."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2563.42,"endTime":2566.45,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2563.42,"endTime":2566.45,"body":"absolutely. Oh, this has been"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2566.45,"endTime":2570.65,"body":"wonderful. Thank you so much for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2566.45,"endTime":2570.65,"body":"sharing everything that you have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2570.65,"endTime":2575.12,"body":"shared. Where can people connect"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2570.65,"endTime":2575.12,"body":"more with you?"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2575.72,"endTime":2578.12,"body":"Typically, I"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2575.72,"endTime":2578.12,"body":"just, you know, I'm I'm on"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2578.12,"endTime":2582.47,"body":"LinkedIn, and people usually"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2578.12,"endTime":2582.47,"body":"find me off LinkedIn, and just"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2582.77,"endTime":2587.36,"body":"from talking with parents and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2582.77,"endTime":2587.36,"body":"working with kids, I have a very"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2587.36,"endTime":2591.68,"body":"big network from doing this work"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2587.36,"endTime":2591.68,"body":"with different populations. So"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2591.68,"endTime":2594.89,"body":"that's pretty usually doing"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2591.68,"endTime":2594.89,"body":"finding me on LinkedIn and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2594.89,"endTime":2597.77,"body":"contacting me out from there, my"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2594.89,"endTime":2597.77,"body":"phone and my email are on there."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2598.79,"endTime":2600.83,"body":"I will have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2598.79,"endTime":2600.83,"body":"that linked in the show notes,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2600.83,"endTime":2604.73,"body":"so that if people have questions"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2600.83,"endTime":2604.73,"body":"about things that you shared or"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2604.73,"endTime":2608.69,"body":"looking for resources or"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2604.73,"endTime":2608.69,"body":"support, then they can reach out"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2608.69,"endTime":2613.7,"body":"and be in touch. So I like to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2608.69,"endTime":2613.7,"body":"wrap up with a couple questions."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2613.88,"endTime":2617.96,"body":"One is, what does it mean to you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2613.88,"endTime":2617.96,"body":"to be unlimited?"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2618.41,"endTime":2622.43,"body":"For me to be"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2618.41,"endTime":2622.43,"body":"unlimited is to have an"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2622.43,"endTime":2627.17,"body":"awareness of the systems that"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2622.43,"endTime":2627.17,"body":"are operating around me with"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2627.17,"endTime":2632.54,"body":"some clarity, and then have the"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2627.17,"endTime":2632.54,"body":"internal resources that I can"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2632.54,"endTime":2638.06,"body":"call on to kind of manage how I"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2632.54,"endTime":2638.06,"body":"interpret and live in the world,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2638.06,"endTime":2641.75,"body":"so that I can live how I want to"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2638.06,"endTime":2641.75,"body":"in terms of who I am in the"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2641.75,"endTime":2645.62,"body":"world and how I show up for me,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2641.75,"endTime":2645.62,"body":"that's that's what that looks"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2645.62,"endTime":2645.98,"body":"like."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2647.12,"endTime":2649.76,"body":"And when"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2647.12,"endTime":2649.76,"body":"you want to evoke that unlimited"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2649.76,"endTime":2652.25,"body":"feeling, what song do you listen"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2649.76,"endTime":2652.25,"body":"to?"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2653.0,"endTime":2657.5,"body":"Oh, so many"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2653.0,"endTime":2657.5,"body":"good songs from the 80s can kind"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2657.5,"endTime":2661.22,"body":"of help out with that. But I"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2657.5,"endTime":2661.22,"body":"think right now, probably"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2661.67,"endTime":2664.1,"body":"fighter by Christina Aguilera."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2664.85,"endTime":2665.3,"body":"Nice."},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2665.93,"endTime":2666.77,"body":"That's been"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2665.93,"endTime":2666.77,"body":"a good one."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2667.37,"endTime":2670.61,"body":"I will add"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2667.37,"endTime":2670.61,"body":"that to the unlimited playlist."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2672.32,"endTime":2675.98,"body":"Thank you so much Donna for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2672.32,"endTime":2675.98,"body":"joining me. It has been a real"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2675.98,"endTime":2677.27,"body":"pleasure having you on."},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2677.84,"endTime":2679.73,"body":"Thank you."},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2677.84,"endTime":2679.73,"body":"It's been so nice to talk with"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2679.73,"endTime":2684.11,"body":"you. Thanks very much to you and"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2679.73,"endTime":2684.11,"body":"your listeners for just interest"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2684.11,"endTime":2688.67,"body":"in how we how we work with kids"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2684.11,"endTime":2688.67,"body":"and and help them. I really,"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2688.67,"endTime":2690.08,"body":"really appreciate you. Thank"},{"speaker":"Donna Lynne Booher","startTime":2688.67,"endTime":2690.08,"body":"you."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2690.5,"endTime":2692.51,"body":"Thanks for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2690.5,"endTime":2692.51,"body":"listening. I so appreciate you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2692.51,"endTime":2695.24,"body":"being here. If you got something"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2692.51,"endTime":2695.24,"body":"out of today's episode, please"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2695.24,"endTime":2698.57,"body":"share it, leave me a review,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2695.24,"endTime":2698.57,"body":"take a screenshot and post it on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2698.57,"endTime":2702.35,"body":"social with a shout out to me."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2698.57,"endTime":2702.35,"body":"Send it to a friend, or, you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2702.35,"endTime":2705.92,"body":"know, all of the above. Want to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2702.35,"endTime":2705.92,"body":"hang out more, join me on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2705.92,"endTime":2709.37,"body":"Instagram, or, better yet, get"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2705.92,"endTime":2709.37,"body":"on my mailing list to make sure"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2709.37,"endTime":2713.81,"body":"you don't miss out on anything,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2709.37,"endTime":2713.81,"body":"and remember your possibilities"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2713.84,"endTime":2717.29,"body":"are as unlimited as you are."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2713.84,"endTime":2717.29,"body":"Allow yourself to shine, my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2717.29,"endTime":2720.68,"body":"friend, the world needs your"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2717.29,"endTime":2720.68,"body":"light. See you next time you."}]}