{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":0.0,"endTime":3.133,"body":"Hello, my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":0.0,"endTime":3.133,"body":"friends, and welcome to the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":3.217,"endTime":7.959,"body":"final episode of unlimited in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":3.217,"endTime":7.959,"body":"2024 I can't believe we're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":8.044,"endTime":12.956,"body":"wrapping up season four. That is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":8.044,"endTime":12.956,"body":"mind boggling to me. This"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":13.04,"endTime":17.952,"body":"episode, we are talking about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":13.04,"endTime":17.952,"body":"navigating change in the new"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":18.036,"endTime":23.371,"body":"year without the overwhelm, even"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":18.036,"endTime":23.371,"body":"when it is messy, which change"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":23.456,"endTime":28.621,"body":"is often messy and uncertain,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":23.456,"endTime":28.621,"body":"which, even if we have a really"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":28.706,"endTime":33.618,"body":"solid plan, frankly, it is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":28.706,"endTime":33.618,"body":"uncertain because life does the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":33.702,"endTime":39.207,"body":"things that it does, and we only"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":33.702,"endTime":39.207,"body":"have so much control. So leaning"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":39.291,"endTime":43.949,"body":"into that uncertainty, or"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":39.291,"endTime":43.949,"body":"allowing making room for that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":44.033,"endTime":47.929,"body":"uncertainty, supporting"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":44.033,"endTime":47.929,"body":"ourselves through that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":48.013,"endTime":53.433,"body":"uncertainty and when it's heavy,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":48.013,"endTime":53.433,"body":"because there is a lot of heavy"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":53.518,"endTime":58.598,"body":"change. Change is not pretty."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":53.518,"endTime":58.598,"body":"Change is messy, as I said. It"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":58.683,"endTime":63.594,"body":"is difficult change, even when"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":58.683,"endTime":63.594,"body":"you're choosing change, let"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":63.679,"endTime":68.675,"body":"alone having things change"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":63.679,"endTime":68.675,"body":"around you that you then need to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":68.76,"endTime":73.333,"body":"decide how you show up to it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":68.76,"endTime":73.333,"body":"even when you're choosing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":73.417,"endTime":78.244,"body":"change, it's messy and it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":73.417,"endTime":78.244,"body":"involves a lot of stress. So if"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":78.329,"endTime":83.156,"body":"you are feeling stressed, that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":78.329,"endTime":83.156,"body":"is normal, change involves"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":83.24,"endTime":87.982,"body":"stress tension, that's part of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":83.24,"endTime":87.982,"body":"the process, and also why"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":88.067,"endTime":93.317,"body":"finding ways to process stress,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":88.067,"endTime":93.317,"body":"finding supports for yourself,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":93.402,"endTime":98.398,"body":"to lean into that uncertainty to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":93.402,"endTime":98.398,"body":"create some support around"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":98.483,"endTime":103.564,"body":"yourself is so critical, because"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":98.483,"endTime":103.564,"body":"we can only process so much"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":103.648,"endTime":109.068,"body":"stress. So I had somebody reach"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":103.648,"endTime":109.068,"body":"out recently and ask about, what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":109.153,"endTime":114.572,"body":"about existential dread? What do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":109.153,"endTime":114.572,"body":"I do with that? And that's part"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":114.657,"endTime":120.076,"body":"of what made me think about this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":114.657,"endTime":120.076,"body":"episode and all the things that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":120.161,"endTime":125.326,"body":"I've talked about over the past"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":120.161,"endTime":125.326,"body":"four years. When we step into"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":125.411,"endTime":130.323,"body":"change with intentionality, it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":125.411,"endTime":130.323,"body":"means that we gave room for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":130.407,"endTime":135.573,"body":"ourselves to be intentional,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":130.407,"endTime":135.573,"body":"that we recognize that stress is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":135.657,"endTime":140.823,"body":"present, which tends to move us"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":135.657,"endTime":140.823,"body":"into our autopilot mode to be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":140.908,"endTime":145.904,"body":"able to respond quickly. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":140.908,"endTime":145.904,"body":"that we said, You know what? I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":145.988,"endTime":151.069,"body":"know that my nervous system"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":145.988,"endTime":151.069,"body":"wants to respond quickly. I need"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":151.154,"endTime":155.727,"body":"to support that energy in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":151.154,"endTime":155.727,"body":"myself. I need to be able to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":155.811,"endTime":160.892,"body":"release that energy so that I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":155.811,"endTime":160.892,"body":"have access to my full ability"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":160.977,"endTime":166.481,"body":"of intentionality, so that I can"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":160.977,"endTime":166.481,"body":"choose consciously. And a lot of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":166.566,"endTime":171.562,"body":"times we want to choose the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":166.566,"endTime":171.562,"body":"right thing. We think, Oh, if I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":171.647,"endTime":176.982,"body":"can just give myself room, then"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":171.647,"endTime":176.982,"body":"I can figure out what the right"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":177.066,"endTime":182.316,"body":"thing is, is where we get into"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":177.066,"endTime":182.316,"body":"paralysis, analysis or analysis"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":182.401,"endTime":187.313,"body":"paralysis. Basically, we're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":182.401,"endTime":187.313,"body":"trying to figure out the right"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":187.397,"endTime":192.647,"body":"thing. And honestly, in a lot of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":187.397,"endTime":192.647,"body":"what is in front of us, and I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":192.732,"endTime":197.728,"body":"would say even generally, we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":192.732,"endTime":197.728,"body":"won't know. We can't know. How"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":197.813,"endTime":202.555,"body":"do you even decide what makes"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":197.813,"endTime":202.555,"body":"something the right thing?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":202.64,"endTime":207.212,"body":"Sometimes, when we make a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":202.64,"endTime":207.212,"body":"decision, we immediately get"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":207.297,"endTime":212.293,"body":"what we might call positive"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":207.297,"endTime":212.293,"body":"feedback. Does that make it the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":212.378,"endTime":217.628,"body":"right thing? Sometimes, maybe,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":212.378,"endTime":217.628,"body":"but sometimes it seems great at"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":217.713,"endTime":222.794,"body":"front and then later on we find"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":217.713,"endTime":222.794,"body":"out other information that's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":222.878,"endTime":228.213,"body":"like, oh, maybe that wasn't so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":222.878,"endTime":228.213,"body":"maybe, or maybe that was what we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":228.298,"endTime":233.717,"body":"needed to learn the next thing."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":228.298,"endTime":233.717,"body":"So a big piece of all of this is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":233.802,"endTime":239.052,"body":"being able to release knowing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":233.802,"endTime":239.052,"body":"and certainty and perfection and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":239.137,"endTime":243.71,"body":"all of the rigidity and lean"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":239.137,"endTime":243.71,"body":"into the messy middle the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":243.794,"endTime":249.045,"body":"unknown, all of the pieces of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":243.794,"endTime":249.045,"body":"change and to walk intentionally"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":249.129,"endTime":254.295,"body":"toward an unknown destination,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":249.129,"endTime":254.295,"body":"my favorite word. Cody wample,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":254.379,"endTime":259.121,"body":"so what we're going to talk"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":254.379,"endTime":259.121,"body":"about in this episode is why"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":259.206,"endTime":263.61,"body":"change feels hard, the role of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":259.206,"endTime":263.61,"body":"societal programming,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":263.694,"endTime":268.182,"body":"recognizing your patterns and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":263.694,"endTime":268.182,"body":"finding agency in being"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":268.267,"endTime":273.602,"body":"intentional. I haven't decided"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":268.267,"endTime":273.602,"body":"yet what season five is going to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":273.687,"endTime":279.106,"body":"look like. There's a lot coming"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":273.687,"endTime":279.106,"body":"up and a lot of room that I want"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":279.191,"endTime":284.102,"body":"to give myself to show up to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":279.191,"endTime":284.102,"body":"that and show up to what this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":284.187,"endTime":288.929,"body":"podcast needs to be. This."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":284.187,"endTime":288.929,"body":"Podcast has always been about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":289.014,"endTime":293.925,"body":"helping you show up to change,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":289.014,"endTime":293.925,"body":"and I've talked a lot about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":294.01,"endTime":299.26,"body":"being at a time of change, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":294.01,"endTime":299.26,"body":"times of change tend to kind of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":299.345,"endTime":304.425,"body":"ramp up at times, and here we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":299.345,"endTime":304.425,"body":"are. So I'm giving myself some"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":304.51,"endTime":309.93,"body":"room to really think about it. I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":304.51,"endTime":309.93,"body":"have a couple specials that I I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":310.014,"endTime":315.434,"body":"may throw out there, but this is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":310.014,"endTime":315.434,"body":"the last episode until probably"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":315.519,"endTime":320.515,"body":"about February. In that time,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":315.519,"endTime":320.515,"body":"I'd love to hear from you, if"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":320.599,"endTime":325.596,"body":"there is something that you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":320.599,"endTime":325.596,"body":"would feel supportive from this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":325.68,"endTime":330.761,"body":"podcast, let me know. Send me an"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":325.68,"endTime":330.761,"body":"email. I have a little form"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":330.846,"endTime":335.419,"body":"that's going to be in the show"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":330.846,"endTime":335.419,"body":"notes. You can ask me a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":335.503,"endTime":341.007,"body":"question. I could very well do a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":335.503,"endTime":341.007,"body":"season of like Dear Abby sort of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":341.092,"endTime":346.088,"body":"thing. I have some upcoming pre"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":341.092,"endTime":346.088,"body":"recorded episodes with some"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":346.173,"endTime":351.508,"body":"other coaches, so talking about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":346.173,"endTime":351.508,"body":"that perspective of change with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":351.592,"endTime":356.758,"body":"other coaches who support this,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":351.592,"endTime":356.758,"body":"lots of ideas, but especially"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":356.843,"endTime":361.923,"body":"for those of you who've been"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":356.843,"endTime":361.923,"body":"listening for a while, I'd love"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":362.008,"endTime":367.174,"body":"to hear from you. What would you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":362.008,"endTime":367.174,"body":"like to hear about in season"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":367.258,"endTime":372.509,"body":"five? One last thing before we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":367.258,"endTime":372.509,"body":"dive in, one of the things that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":372.593,"endTime":377.589,"body":"happens when there's a lot of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":372.593,"endTime":377.589,"body":"stresses are stress response,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":377.674,"endTime":382.162,"body":"and our stress response makes it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":377.674,"endTime":382.162,"body":"difficult to show up"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":382.247,"endTime":387.328,"body":"intentionally. So I'm offering"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":382.247,"endTime":387.328,"body":"the mindset assessment that I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":387.412,"endTime":392.832,"body":"do, called the Energy leadership"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":387.412,"endTime":392.832,"body":"index assessment that helps you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":392.916,"endTime":398.167,"body":"understand the patterns in your"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":392.916,"endTime":398.167,"body":"stress response and in the way"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":398.251,"endTime":403.502,"body":"you perceive the world, so that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":398.251,"endTime":403.502,"body":"you have more power and agency"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":403.586,"endTime":408.921,"body":"in showing up to those patterns,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":403.586,"endTime":408.921,"body":"not just the things, but being"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":409.006,"endTime":413.748,"body":"able to shift the pattern so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":409.006,"endTime":413.748,"body":"that you can access greater"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":413.833,"endTime":418.913,"body":"ranges of choice in your life. I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":413.833,"endTime":418.913,"body":"normally charge 345 for the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":418.998,"endTime":423.994,"body":"assessment and the 90 minute"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":418.998,"endTime":423.994,"body":"debrief. I am offering five of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":424.079,"endTime":428.482,"body":"these at 50% off. All the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":424.079,"endTime":428.482,"body":"information is in the show"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":428.567,"endTime":433.648,"body":"notes, but the code is Eli 2025,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":428.567,"endTime":433.648,"body":"and you can access it on my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":433.732,"endTime":438.813,"body":"website. Again, everything will"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":433.732,"endTime":438.813,"body":"be in the show notes, but if"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":438.898,"endTime":444.148,"body":"you're looking for some support"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":438.898,"endTime":444.148,"body":"in the new year to really show"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":444.233,"endTime":448.636,"body":"up to shaping change with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":444.233,"endTime":448.636,"body":"intention, this is a great"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":448.721,"endTime":453.717,"body":"resource for that. It's one of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":448.721,"endTime":453.717,"body":"my favorites. It's one of my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":453.802,"endTime":458.967,"body":"clients favorites, and I would"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":453.802,"endTime":458.967,"body":"love to offer that to you now."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":459.052,"endTime":464.98,"body":"This has been a long intro. So"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":459.052,"endTime":464.98,"body":"without further ado, let's get started."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":464.98,"endTime":468.365,"body":"Hey there. I'm Valerie"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":464.98,"endTime":468.365,"body":"Friedlander, Certified Life"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":468.433,"endTime":472.563,"body":"business alignment Coach. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":468.433,"endTime":472.563,"body":"this is unlimited. This podcast"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":472.63,"endTime":476.354,"body":"bridges the individual and the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":472.63,"endTime":476.354,"body":"societal, scientific and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":476.422,"endTime":480.146,"body":"spiritual, positive and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":476.422,"endTime":480.146,"body":"negative, nerdy and no, there's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":480.214,"endTime":484.208,"body":"just a lot of nerdy, come on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":480.214,"endTime":484.208,"body":"board and let's unlock a light"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":484.276,"endTime":486.24,"body":"that's as bad ass as you are."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":493.92,"endTime":499.35,"body":"So change feels hard because we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":493.92,"endTime":499.35,"body":"like patterns. Our brains like"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":499.438,"endTime":504.08,"body":"patterns. It makes things"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":499.438,"endTime":504.08,"body":"easier. We have to use more"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":504.167,"endTime":509.072,"body":"energy to make decisions when"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":504.167,"endTime":509.072,"body":"things are different, when"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":509.16,"endTime":514.415,"body":"they're not as they are usually."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":509.16,"endTime":514.415,"body":"Now, when we're living in a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":514.503,"endTime":519.408,"body":"space where the as usual isn't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":514.503,"endTime":519.408,"body":"actually serving us, it's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":519.495,"endTime":525.013,"body":"breaking us down. It's breaking"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":519.495,"endTime":525.013,"body":"us down individually, socially,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":525.101,"endTime":529.393,"body":"societally, familially,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":525.101,"endTime":529.393,"body":"relationally, it's really"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":529.48,"endTime":534.911,"body":"destructive on so many levels,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":529.48,"endTime":534.911,"body":"more so to some than to others."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":534.998,"endTime":540.254,"body":"And in order to change that, we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":534.998,"endTime":540.254,"body":"have to lean into an unknown"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":540.341,"endTime":545.246,"body":"space. We have to give more"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":540.341,"endTime":545.246,"body":"room, and yet we live in the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":545.334,"endTime":550.414,"body":"society that's Go, go, go,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":545.334,"endTime":550.414,"body":"hustle, hustle, hustle, keeping"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":550.502,"endTime":556.107,"body":"us in a state of constant stress"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":550.502,"endTime":556.107,"body":"where we don't have room. I was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":556.195,"endTime":561.625,"body":"talking to somebody the other"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":556.195,"endTime":561.625,"body":"day about how there's this whole"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":561.713,"endTime":566.968,"body":"Well, we, you know, just slow"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":561.713,"endTime":566.968,"body":"down when you're over stressed"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":567.056,"endTime":572.661,"body":"and too busy, and how hard that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":567.056,"endTime":572.661,"body":"is. So I want to say this is not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":572.749,"endTime":578.179,"body":"me telling you, well, just slow"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":572.749,"endTime":578.179,"body":"down or just stop or whatever."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":578.267,"endTime":583.435,"body":"You're not going to self care"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":578.267,"endTime":583.435,"body":"when you're being chased by a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":583.522,"endTime":588.252,"body":"bear, when you're in the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":583.522,"endTime":588.252,"body":"battlefield, you're not gonna"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":588.34,"endTime":594.033,"body":"just pause and be like, hold on."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":588.34,"endTime":594.033,"body":"We gotta do something different."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":594.12,"endTime":599.814,"body":"And sometimes we feel like we're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":594.12,"endTime":599.814,"body":"in a battlefield we're fighting."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":599.901,"endTime":605.419,"body":"And we don't have to be you. It"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":599.901,"endTime":605.419,"body":"feels like we have to be and we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":605.507,"endTime":610.937,"body":"don't have to be because there's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":605.507,"endTime":610.937,"body":"something else there. And the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":611.025,"endTime":616.368,"body":"thing is that if we don't slow"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":611.025,"endTime":616.368,"body":"down, if we don't choose to do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":616.455,"endTime":621.886,"body":"something different when we are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":616.455,"endTime":621.886,"body":"constantly in this space, then"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":621.974,"endTime":627.492,"body":"it will choose for us. We will"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":621.974,"endTime":627.492,"body":"literally not be able to I can't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":627.579,"endTime":632.747,"body":"tell you how many people I've"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":627.579,"endTime":632.747,"body":"worked with whose bodies were"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":632.834,"endTime":638.177,"body":"breaking down, and that's what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":632.834,"endTime":638.177,"body":"finally got them to go. I need"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":638.265,"endTime":643.695,"body":"help, because sometimes you know"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":638.265,"endTime":643.695,"body":"you want something different,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":643.783,"endTime":649.389,"body":"and you can't figure out how to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":643.783,"endTime":649.389,"body":"do it, but you know you want it,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":649.476,"endTime":654.907,"body":"and that's okay. That happens"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":649.476,"endTime":654.907,"body":"most of us. When we're in it, we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":654.994,"endTime":660.425,"body":"can't see a way out of it. We"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":654.994,"endTime":660.425,"body":"can't see what we can change. So"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":660.512,"endTime":666.118,"body":"saying I can't make the decision"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":660.512,"endTime":666.118,"body":"I would like to make right now,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":666.206,"endTime":671.724,"body":"but I know I want to make that,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":666.206,"endTime":671.724,"body":"and so I'm going to get help to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":671.811,"endTime":677.067,"body":"make it that is important. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":671.811,"endTime":677.067,"body":"sometimes when we do that, it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":677.154,"endTime":682.672,"body":"looks different than we expected"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":677.154,"endTime":682.672,"body":"it to. I had a client who came"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":682.76,"endTime":687.577,"body":"to me wanting to work on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":682.76,"endTime":687.577,"body":"herself. She was like, work is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":687.665,"endTime":693.358,"body":"stable, finally. So I'm going to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":687.665,"endTime":693.358,"body":"hire a coach to help me care for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":693.446,"endTime":698.788,"body":"myself better, to understand"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":693.446,"endTime":698.788,"body":"myself and make room for myself."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":698.876,"endTime":704.044,"body":"But as we worked together, work"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":698.876,"endTime":704.044,"body":"kept getting in the way. So"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":704.131,"endTime":709.825,"body":"while financially and work wise,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":704.131,"endTime":709.825,"body":"everything was stable, she could"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":709.912,"endTime":714.204,"body":"not seem to make room for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":709.912,"endTime":714.204,"body":"herself and work, which"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":714.292,"endTime":719.372,"body":"highlighted a deeper issue,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":714.292,"endTime":719.372,"body":"which is that while work stays"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":719.459,"endTime":725.065,"body":"the same in what was normal and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":719.459,"endTime":725.065,"body":"stable, she didn't have room for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":725.152,"endTime":730.671,"body":"herself. And this is not a her"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":725.152,"endTime":730.671,"body":"issue. This is a societal thing."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":730.758,"endTime":736.364,"body":"This is part of what I run into"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":730.758,"endTime":736.364,"body":"all the time. In this case, what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":736.451,"endTime":741.531,"body":"happened was suddenly, work"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":736.451,"endTime":741.531,"body":"became unstable, and she went,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":741.619,"endTime":746.787,"body":"Well, this is so frustrating"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":741.619,"endTime":746.787,"body":"because now I have to focus on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":746.874,"endTime":752.392,"body":"work, and I wasn't supposed to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":746.874,"endTime":752.392,"body":"focus on work. I was supposed to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":752.48,"endTime":757.735,"body":"focus on me. The thing was that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":752.48,"endTime":757.735,"body":"there was no room to do that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":757.823,"endTime":763.078,"body":"until work shifted. So then we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":757.823,"endTime":763.078,"body":"were actually able to look at"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":763.166,"endTime":768.333,"body":"all the moving parts. And while"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":763.166,"endTime":768.333,"body":"it felt even more unstable,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":768.421,"endTime":773.764,"body":"because all the moving parts"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":768.421,"endTime":773.764,"body":"were unstable, there wasn't like"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":773.852,"endTime":779.282,"body":"one that was static. It meant"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":773.852,"endTime":779.282,"body":"that then we could start to look"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":779.37,"endTime":784.888,"body":"at, well, what does work need to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":779.37,"endTime":784.888,"body":"look like? What boundaries can"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":784.975,"endTime":790.493,"body":"you put into place? Do you want"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":784.975,"endTime":790.493,"body":"to put into place? We were able"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":790.581,"endTime":796.099,"body":"to move all the pieces around."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":790.581,"endTime":796.099,"body":"But what came with that, and one"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":796.187,"endTime":801.705,"body":"of the things that makes change"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":796.187,"endTime":801.705,"body":"so hard is not just the stress,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":801.792,"endTime":807.135,"body":"but the grief. Because when you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":801.792,"endTime":807.135,"body":"start to notice some of these"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":807.223,"endTime":812.566,"body":"things of how the choices that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":807.223,"endTime":812.566,"body":"we've made led to where we are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":812.653,"endTime":818.259,"body":"and where we are isn't working,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":812.653,"endTime":818.259,"body":"and whether that's personally as"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":818.346,"endTime":823.164,"body":"the individual, person or"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":818.346,"endTime":823.164,"body":"societally, and start to go I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":823.251,"endTime":828.945,"body":"fed into this. I participated in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":823.251,"endTime":828.945,"body":"this thing that's not working. I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":829.032,"endTime":834.2,"body":"did these things. And have to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":829.032,"endTime":834.2,"body":"take a look at how we do life"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":834.287,"endTime":838.754,"body":"that can feel really"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":834.287,"endTime":838.754,"body":"uncomfortable and embarrassing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":838.842,"endTime":844.272,"body":"and disappointing and shameful,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":838.842,"endTime":844.272,"body":"even one of the things that we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":844.36,"endTime":850.053,"body":"uncovered with her is that story"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":844.36,"endTime":850.053,"body":"that comes up a lot with people,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":850.141,"endTime":855.571,"body":"which is, if I just work hard"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":850.141,"endTime":855.571,"body":"enough, everything will be fine."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":855.659,"endTime":860.827,"body":"And the fact of the matter was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":855.659,"endTime":860.827,"body":"that working hard enough was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":860.914,"endTime":866.17,"body":"meaning that there was no room"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":860.914,"endTime":866.17,"body":"for her, that it was just the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":866.257,"endTime":871.337,"body":"rat race as it were, right?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":866.257,"endTime":871.337,"body":"You're still a rat. If you win"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":871.425,"endTime":876.68,"body":"the rat race, you're still a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":871.425,"endTime":876.68,"body":"rat. So there's a grief in that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":876.768,"endTime":882.286,"body":"awareness that the story that I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":876.768,"endTime":882.286,"body":"learned about who I am and what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":882.373,"endTime":887.541,"body":"I have to do and how the world"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":882.373,"endTime":887.541,"body":"works isn't true, that grief"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":887.629,"endTime":892.796,"body":"needs space, and it can be hard"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":887.629,"endTime":892.796,"body":"to do that too, and when we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":892.884,"endTime":898.227,"body":"allow room for the emotions of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":892.884,"endTime":898.227,"body":"change, we can start to let go"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":898.314,"endTime":903.132,"body":"of those things that we thought"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":898.314,"endTime":903.132,"body":"were stable, which were"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":903.219,"endTime":908.825,"body":"actually. Ly rotten, and there's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":903.219,"endTime":908.825,"body":"a lot of that. So something you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":908.913,"endTime":914.255,"body":"might reflect on as you head"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":908.913,"endTime":914.255,"body":"into a new year is where in your"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":914.343,"endTime":919.861,"body":"life has something seemed fine"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":914.343,"endTime":919.861,"body":"on the surface like this is this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":919.949,"endTime":924.416,"body":"is fine, eventually it'll"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":919.949,"endTime":924.416,"body":"change. This is fine, but"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":924.503,"endTime":928.62,"body":"actually has a high cost,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":924.503,"endTime":928.62,"body":"something that you're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":928.708,"endTime":933.525,"body":"tolerating, that you're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":928.708,"endTime":933.525,"body":"managing, but that it's costing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":933.612,"endTime":938.167,"body":"you. Because I want to invite"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":933.612,"endTime":938.167,"body":"you to notice that the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":938.255,"endTime":943.51,"body":"trajectory of toleration is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":938.255,"endTime":943.51,"body":"never improvement. When you just"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":943.598,"endTime":948.765,"body":"tolerate something, maybe it'll"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":943.598,"endTime":948.765,"body":"stay the same, but often it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":948.853,"endTime":954.546,"body":"slowly gets worse. It's like the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":948.853,"endTime":954.546,"body":"frog in the pot of boiling water"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":954.634,"endTime":959.801,"body":"with and I hate this analogy"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":954.634,"endTime":959.801,"body":"because it's really gross. But"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":959.889,"endTime":965.232,"body":"if you if you have a frog in a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":959.889,"endTime":965.232,"body":"regular pot of water, and then"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":965.319,"endTime":970.575,"body":"you turn it on and you slowly"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":965.319,"endTime":970.575,"body":"turn up the heat, it will just"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":970.662,"endTime":975.742,"body":"stay there until it dies,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":970.662,"endTime":975.742,"body":"whereas, of course, if you put a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":975.83,"endTime":980.998,"body":"frog in a pot of boiling water"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":975.83,"endTime":980.998,"body":"that's presently boiling, it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":981.085,"endTime":986.603,"body":"will hop out. Now, I do not say"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":981.085,"endTime":986.603,"body":"this from actually having tried"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":986.691,"endTime":991.596,"body":"this. This is a story that I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":986.691,"endTime":991.596,"body":"have heard so not not lived"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":991.683,"endTime":997.289,"body":"experience on my part, but makes"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":991.683,"endTime":997.289,"body":"sense, and it's something I see"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":997.377,"endTime":1002.72,"body":"a lot. We just we get used to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":997.377,"endTime":1002.72,"body":"it, and then it gets worse. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1002.807,"endTime":1008.325,"body":"I've seen this in corporate too,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1002.807,"endTime":1008.325,"body":"where, oh, you know, we'll get"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1008.413,"endTime":1013.931,"body":"support in here eventually, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1008.413,"endTime":1013.931,"body":"then you end up with more work."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1014.018,"endTime":1019.099,"body":"And they never hire a new"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1014.018,"endTime":1019.099,"body":"person, and then you end up with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1019.186,"endTime":1024.354,"body":"more work. So noticing, where"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1019.186,"endTime":1024.354,"body":"are you tolerating? And maybe"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1024.441,"endTime":1029.784,"body":"you wouldn't make a shift right"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1024.441,"endTime":1029.784,"body":"now, but what shift would you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1029.872,"endTime":1035.302,"body":"like to make? What things could"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1029.872,"endTime":1035.302,"body":"you start that would allow you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1035.39,"endTime":1040.996,"body":"to move closer to the shift that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1035.39,"endTime":1040.996,"body":"you would like to make? Related"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1041.083,"endTime":1046.251,"body":"to that is a client who, even"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1041.083,"endTime":1046.251,"body":"after we did a lot of work to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1046.339,"endTime":1051.857,"body":"align her work with her values,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1046.339,"endTime":1051.857,"body":"there was this constant push to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1051.944,"endTime":1057.55,"body":"keep growing her business and to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1051.944,"endTime":1057.55,"body":"stay busy in the story of being"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1057.637,"endTime":1062.805,"body":"lazy or I need to do more,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1057.637,"endTime":1062.805,"body":"otherwise, I'm not doing enough,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1062.893,"endTime":1068.411,"body":"started to come in, and it meant"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1062.893,"endTime":1068.411,"body":"that she slowly stopped having"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1068.498,"endTime":1073.929,"body":"as much time for herself, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1068.498,"endTime":1073.929,"body":"then that led into slowly having"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1074.016,"endTime":1079.097,"body":"less Time for family. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1074.016,"endTime":1079.097,"body":"suddenly work was the dominating"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1079.184,"endTime":1084.702,"body":"thing. And in our work together,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1079.184,"endTime":1084.702,"body":"she realized this is just like"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1084.79,"endTime":1089.87,"body":"when I was in corporate, this."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1084.79,"endTime":1089.87,"body":"Oh, it's here. It's fine. A"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1089.957,"endTime":1095.3,"body":"little bit more, a little bit"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1089.957,"endTime":1095.3,"body":"more. I'll just deal with it. I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1095.388,"endTime":1100.906,"body":"can get that done. I can handle"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1095.388,"endTime":1100.906,"body":"this. Oh yeah, that's fine, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1100.994,"endTime":1106.074,"body":"then slowly piling up until"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1100.994,"endTime":1106.074,"body":"suddenly there was no room. We"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1106.161,"endTime":1111.329,"body":"all have ingrained patterns, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1106.161,"endTime":1111.329,"body":"the thing is that the more"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1111.417,"endTime":1116.935,"body":"stressed out we are, the more we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1111.417,"endTime":1116.935,"body":"will fall into those patterns."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1117.022,"endTime":1121.84,"body":"And those ingrained patterns are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1117.022,"endTime":1121.84,"body":"rooted in our societal"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1121.927,"endTime":1126.92,"body":"structures. So rather than"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1121.927,"endTime":1126.92,"body":"beating yourself up if you are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1127.007,"endTime":1132.35,"body":"noticing them, know that when"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1127.007,"endTime":1132.35,"body":"that pressure increases, we can"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1132.438,"endTime":1137.781,"body":"start to see what the pattern"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1132.438,"endTime":1137.781,"body":"is. If we give a little room to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1137.868,"endTime":1143.036,"body":"noticing it, and that is when"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1137.868,"endTime":1143.036,"body":"you have an opportunity to do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1143.124,"endTime":1148.466,"body":"something different, because we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1143.124,"endTime":1148.466,"body":"can't change things. We can't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1148.554,"endTime":1154.247,"body":"see. You can't break chains, you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1148.554,"endTime":1154.247,"body":"can't see and so when we can see"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1154.335,"endTime":1159.415,"body":"them, when we make the room to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1154.335,"endTime":1159.415,"body":"see them, even if you can't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1159.503,"endTime":1164.67,"body":"change them, right then, as I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1159.503,"endTime":1164.67,"body":"said, before you can start to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1164.758,"endTime":1170.188,"body":"move that needle forward, you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1164.758,"endTime":1170.188,"body":"can start to go, oh, okay, now I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1170.276,"endTime":1175.531,"body":"see it, and I'm gonna do this."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1170.276,"endTime":1175.531,"body":"Instead of this, I'm going to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1175.619,"endTime":1180.874,"body":"say no to that next thing, or"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1175.619,"endTime":1180.874,"body":"I'm going to delegate, even if"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1180.962,"endTime":1186.567,"body":"it seems like it's easier to do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1180.962,"endTime":1186.567,"body":"it. Or I'm going to go, you know"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1186.655,"endTime":1191.91,"body":"what? These both these things"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1186.655,"endTime":1191.91,"body":"are important. This one's more"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1191.998,"endTime":1197.516,"body":"important. I'm going to let this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1191.998,"endTime":1197.516,"body":"other one go. The more room we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1197.603,"endTime":1203.034,"body":"have access to choice, the more."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1197.603,"endTime":1203.034,"body":"Ownership we're taking of our"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1203.121,"endTime":1208.64,"body":"life. And then I say ownership,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1203.121,"endTime":1208.64,"body":"I think about like, if you have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1208.727,"endTime":1213.282,"body":"a vehicle, you care for the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1208.727,"endTime":1213.282,"body":"vehicle. You have it, do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1213.369,"endTime":1218.887,"body":"maintenance, you change the oil,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1213.369,"endTime":1218.887,"body":"you fill the tank up with gas."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1218.975,"endTime":1223.792,"body":"You own that so you're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1218.975,"endTime":1223.792,"body":"responsible for it. You also own"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1223.88,"endTime":1229.048,"body":"your life, which means you're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1223.88,"endTime":1229.048,"body":"responsible for it. What does"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1229.135,"endTime":1234.741,"body":"your life need? So that you are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1229.135,"endTime":1234.741,"body":"fully living it, so that you are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1234.828,"endTime":1240.346,"body":"caring for it, so that you are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1234.828,"endTime":1240.346,"body":"nurturing for it, and you're not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1240.434,"endTime":1245.865,"body":"just waiting for the next thing."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1240.434,"endTime":1245.865,"body":"We don't want to wait our way"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1245.952,"endTime":1251.383,"body":"through life. We want to create"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1245.952,"endTime":1251.383,"body":"it, shape it, own it. We don't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1251.47,"endTime":1256.725,"body":"know what the ripple effects of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1251.47,"endTime":1256.725,"body":"that will be, but we do know"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1256.813,"endTime":1261.543,"body":"that when we show up with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1256.813,"endTime":1261.543,"body":"intention, we can choose the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1261.63,"endTime":1267.061,"body":"next thing, and we might choose"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1261.63,"endTime":1267.061,"body":"something and go, Oh, you know"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1267.148,"endTime":1272.754,"body":"what that is? That is not how I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1267.148,"endTime":1272.754,"body":"want to do that, because when we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1272.842,"endTime":1278.447,"body":"choose it intentionally, we can"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1272.842,"endTime":1278.447,"body":"learn from it, and we can choose"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1278.535,"endTime":1283.527,"body":"again. When we don't choose"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1278.535,"endTime":1283.527,"body":"intentionally, we can't learn"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1283.615,"endTime":1289.046,"body":"from it, and we can't choose,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1283.615,"endTime":1289.046,"body":"and we end up slowly in more and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1289.133,"endTime":1294.388,"body":"more no choices. So where can"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1289.133,"endTime":1294.388,"body":"you make choices? Take a look."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1294.476,"endTime":1300.169,"body":"If you are in the stress, if you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1294.476,"endTime":1300.169,"body":"are feeling the pressure, notice"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1300.257,"endTime":1305.337,"body":"where you feel the pressure,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1300.257,"endTime":1305.337,"body":"where do you feel the stress?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1305.425,"endTime":1310.855,"body":"Where do you feel the tension?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1305.425,"endTime":1310.855,"body":"Where are you tolerating? Where"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1310.943,"endTime":1316.285,"body":"are you losing your cool? In"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1310.943,"endTime":1316.285,"body":"those places? Are the threads to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1316.373,"endTime":1321.979,"body":"pull a little bit on go, oh, let"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1316.373,"endTime":1321.979,"body":"me notice this. There's tension"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1322.066,"endTime":1327.497,"body":"here. That means that there's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1322.066,"endTime":1327.497,"body":"information here. If I'm feeling"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1327.584,"endTime":1333.015,"body":"tension, there's information."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1327.584,"endTime":1333.015,"body":"What is the information. What is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1333.102,"endTime":1338.445,"body":"the pattern? Where have I seen"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1333.102,"endTime":1338.445,"body":"this before? Where have I felt"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1338.533,"endTime":1343.788,"body":"this before? Is it always in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1338.533,"endTime":1343.788,"body":"this space, or is it over here?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1343.876,"endTime":1348.693,"body":"This is where so often people"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1343.876,"endTime":1348.693,"body":"shift from corporate into"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1348.781,"endTime":1354.386,"body":"starting their own business, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1348.781,"endTime":1354.386,"body":"they're like, wait, I'm burning"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1354.474,"endTime":1359.642,"body":"out again. Why? Well, because we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1354.474,"endTime":1359.642,"body":"carry our patterns with us"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1359.729,"endTime":1364.985,"body":"wherever you go, there you are."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1359.729,"endTime":1364.985,"body":"So taking a moment to notice"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1365.072,"endTime":1370.415,"body":"when there's tension, don't beat"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1365.072,"endTime":1370.415,"body":"yourself up over there being"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1370.503,"endTime":1376.108,"body":"tension or anger, frustration or"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1370.503,"endTime":1376.108,"body":"sorrow or disappointment. Oh, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1376.196,"endTime":1381.714,"body":"did it again. Okay. Great. You"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1376.196,"endTime":1381.714,"body":"did it again. Cool. What did you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1381.801,"endTime":1387.144,"body":"do again? What motivated you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1381.801,"endTime":1387.144,"body":"doing that thing again? What was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1387.232,"endTime":1392.575,"body":"the energy there? What was the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1387.232,"endTime":1392.575,"body":"emotion? Where did you feel it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1392.662,"endTime":1398.005,"body":"in your body? What does it look"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1392.662,"endTime":1398.005,"body":"like? Where was a choice that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1398.093,"endTime":1403.436,"body":"you could have made? What are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1398.093,"endTime":1403.436,"body":"three options of ways you could"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1403.523,"endTime":1409.041,"body":"have done something differently?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1403.523,"endTime":1409.041,"body":"This can be hard to do on your"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1409.129,"endTime":1414.209,"body":"own, so if you are struggling"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1409.129,"endTime":1414.209,"body":"with it, that's okay. That's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1414.297,"endTime":1419.377,"body":"normal. We're not meant to do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1414.297,"endTime":1419.377,"body":"this on our own. It's one of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1419.464,"endTime":1424.632,"body":"those things where it's hard to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1419.464,"endTime":1424.632,"body":"see ourselves. So we need a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1424.72,"endTime":1430.063,"body":"mirror, we need a reflection. We"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1424.72,"endTime":1430.063,"body":"need support. We're communal"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1430.15,"endTime":1435.055,"body":"creatures. So we need each"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1430.15,"endTime":1435.055,"body":"other. If you can notice that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1435.143,"endTime":1440.223,"body":"something feels off, that's a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1435.143,"endTime":1440.223,"body":"great start. So much of what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1440.31,"endTime":1445.741,"body":"holds us back, so much of what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1440.31,"endTime":1445.741,"body":"keeps us in the same thing that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1445.828,"endTime":1450.909,"body":"we usually do is invisible."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1445.828,"endTime":1450.909,"body":"There are beliefs, habits that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1450.996,"endTime":1456.427,"body":"we've internalized over time. So"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1450.996,"endTime":1456.427,"body":"just beating yourself up, oh,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1456.514,"endTime":1461.594,"body":"I'm just not working hard"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1456.514,"endTime":1461.594,"body":"enough. I'm just bad at balance."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1461.682,"endTime":1466.762,"body":"I need to learn how to manage"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1461.682,"endTime":1466.762,"body":"things better. Really, we're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1466.85,"endTime":1471.579,"body":"navigating systems and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1466.85,"endTime":1471.579,"body":"conditioning that's designed to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1471.667,"endTime":1476.66,"body":"keep us in a stuck space,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1471.667,"endTime":1476.66,"body":"repeating our patterns. So just"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1476.747,"endTime":1481.652,"body":"noticing that you're in a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1476.747,"endTime":1481.652,"body":"pattern is great, and I really"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1481.74,"endTime":1486.907,"body":"encourage you to congratulate"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1481.74,"endTime":1486.907,"body":"yourself for noticing and the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1486.995,"endTime":1492.425,"body":"next step is saying I want to do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1486.995,"endTime":1492.425,"body":"something different, and then"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1492.513,"endTime":1497.418,"body":"finding the support to do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1492.513,"endTime":1497.418,"body":"something different if you are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1497.506,"endTime":1501.973,"body":"not able to do something"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1497.506,"endTime":1501.973,"body":"different on your own, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1502.06,"endTime":1507.053,"body":"that's okay. So those are my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1502.06,"endTime":1507.053,"body":"reminders for you. Unpacking"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1507.14,"endTime":1512.483,"body":"this takes space which many of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1507.14,"endTime":1512.483,"body":"us don't really have. It takes"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1512.571,"endTime":1517.563,"body":"reflection, which means outside"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1512.571,"endTime":1517.563,"body":"of ourselves and having a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1517.651,"endTime":1523.169,"body":"mirror, because it's hard to see"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1517.651,"endTime":1523.169,"body":"programming when you're living"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1523.256,"endTime":1528.599,"body":"inside of it. I was recently i."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1523.256,"endTime":1528.599,"body":"Privy to a conversation at my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1528.687,"endTime":1534.205,"body":"kid's school where somebody took"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1528.687,"endTime":1534.205,"body":"a recommendation of therapy as"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1534.293,"endTime":1539.723,"body":"an attack, like something was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1534.293,"endTime":1539.723,"body":"wrong with them. And I know that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1539.811,"endTime":1545.504,"body":"if you're listening to this, you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1539.811,"endTime":1545.504,"body":"are not one of those people, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1545.591,"endTime":1550.847,"body":"I just encourage you to think"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1545.591,"endTime":1550.847,"body":"about being an example of care"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1550.934,"endTime":1556.365,"body":"for one another, and not just of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1550.934,"endTime":1556.365,"body":"giving care, but of receiving"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1556.452,"endTime":1561.795,"body":"care. I honestly think we need"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1556.452,"endTime":1561.795,"body":"more examples of people saying"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1561.883,"endTime":1567.138,"body":"that they got help, that they"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1561.883,"endTime":1567.138,"body":"got support, and while my feed"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1567.226,"endTime":1572.744,"body":"the people around me. I hear so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1567.226,"endTime":1572.744,"body":"much I'm like, Oh, I thought we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1572.831,"endTime":1577.912,"body":"were past that stigma. We're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1572.831,"endTime":1577.912,"body":"not. We're not. It's human to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1577.999,"endTime":1583.43,"body":"need other people. So your self"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1577.999,"endTime":1583.43,"body":"work is something that you are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1583.517,"endTime":1588.51,"body":"the only person who can do and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1583.517,"endTime":1588.51,"body":"you are not meant to do it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1588.597,"endTime":1593.765,"body":"alone, because we need each"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1588.597,"endTime":1593.765,"body":"other. So as we head into a new"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1593.853,"endTime":1598.057,"body":"year that is full of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1593.853,"endTime":1598.057,"body":"uncertainty, full of messy,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1598.144,"endTime":1603.4,"body":"probably lots of awfulness, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1598.144,"endTime":1603.4,"body":"want you to know that what you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1603.487,"endTime":1608.655,"body":"choose to do matters you matter"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1603.487,"endTime":1608.655,"body":"how you show up in your own"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1608.743,"endTime":1613.998,"body":"life, matters how you experience"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1608.743,"endTime":1613.998,"body":"life, living it versus just"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1614.085,"endTime":1618.815,"body":"avoiding dying. There was a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1614.085,"endTime":1618.815,"body":"great post my mom actually"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1618.903,"endTime":1624.421,"body":"shared recently from someone who"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1618.903,"endTime":1624.421,"body":"had a dear friend named Carrie"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1624.508,"endTime":1629.589,"body":"groat who died from brain"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1624.508,"endTime":1629.589,"body":"cancer. And one of the things in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1629.676,"endTime":1634.756,"body":"this is that this idea of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1629.676,"endTime":1634.756,"body":"battling cancer, it's an analogy"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1634.844,"endTime":1640.537,"body":"that basically shames people who"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1634.844,"endTime":1640.537,"body":"die from cancer like they lost a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1640.625,"endTime":1645.792,"body":"battle. And she wrote news"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1640.625,"endTime":1645.792,"body":"flash, none of us gets out alive"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1645.88,"endTime":1651.135,"body":"from this rodeo called life."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1645.88,"endTime":1651.135,"body":"There is no shame in dying from"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1651.223,"endTime":1656.303,"body":"cancer or any serious illness,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1651.223,"endTime":1656.303,"body":"and it doesn't need to be a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1656.391,"endTime":1661.646,"body":"battle. It's a transition that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1656.391,"endTime":1661.646,"body":"each of us will go through. I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1661.733,"endTime":1666.901,"body":"was asked by a shaman whom I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1661.733,"endTime":1666.901,"body":"spoke to after my second brain"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1666.989,"endTime":1672.682,"body":"surgery, are you running towards"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1666.989,"endTime":1672.682,"body":"life or running away from death?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1672.77,"endTime":1678.025,"body":"Whoa, that got my attention."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1672.77,"endTime":1678.025,"body":"There's a big difference. I got"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1678.112,"endTime":1682.842,"body":"it wrong more often than not."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1678.112,"endTime":1682.842,"body":"Don't let fear fuel your"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1682.93,"endTime":1688.273,"body":"choices. Live fearlessly. Run"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1682.93,"endTime":1688.273,"body":"towards life. Don't worry about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1688.36,"endTime":1693.703,"body":"what people will think. Trust"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1688.36,"endTime":1693.703,"body":"me, it doesn't matter. Focus on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1693.791,"endTime":1699.134,"body":"you. Be true to yourself. Be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1693.791,"endTime":1699.134,"body":"your own best friend, people who"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1699.221,"endTime":1704.477,"body":"tell you you're selfish are not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1699.221,"endTime":1704.477,"body":"your people. If the voice in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1704.564,"endTime":1709.644,"body":"your head says these unkind"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1704.564,"endTime":1709.644,"body":"things, get a new voice. Honor"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1709.732,"endTime":1714.9,"body":"your mental health. Seek out a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1709.732,"endTime":1714.9,"body":"good therapist with the same"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1714.987,"endTime":1719.804,"body":"vigor you'd search for a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1714.987,"endTime":1719.804,"body":"romantic partner. She goes on,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1719.892,"endTime":1724.885,"body":"but I want to leave you with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1719.892,"endTime":1724.885,"body":"that, that you are worthy of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1724.972,"endTime":1730.665,"body":"room of space of care, find what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1724.972,"endTime":1730.665,"body":"that is for you. Maybe it's just"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1730.753,"endTime":1736.271,"body":"a group of people that you can"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1730.753,"endTime":1736.271,"body":"connect with, that you can share"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1736.359,"endTime":1741.614,"body":"your heart with. Maybe it's a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1736.359,"endTime":1741.614,"body":"therapist, maybe it's a coach."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1741.702,"endTime":1746.957,"body":"Maybe it's multiple people. You"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1741.702,"endTime":1746.957,"body":"are worth multiple people. I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1747.044,"endTime":1752.3,"body":"know that financially, we don't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1747.044,"endTime":1752.3,"body":"support these things, and we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1752.387,"endTime":1757.818,"body":"have to think radically. We are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1752.387,"endTime":1757.818,"body":"in time of radical change, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1757.905,"endTime":1763.161,"body":"we have the power to shape that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1757.905,"endTime":1763.161,"body":"change, though, we won't see"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1763.248,"endTime":1768.766,"body":"what the change or the shape of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1763.248,"endTime":1768.766,"body":"the change will look like. Most"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1768.854,"endTime":1774.022,"body":"likely, all we can do is our"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1768.854,"endTime":1774.022,"body":"part and your part. You get to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1774.109,"endTime":1779.277,"body":"choose that you you get to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1774.109,"endTime":1779.277,"body":"choose what really matters. What"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1779.364,"endTime":1784.532,"body":"would it mean to make room for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1779.364,"endTime":1784.532,"body":"you, not just your work, not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1784.62,"endTime":1789.7,"body":"just everyone else, but your"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1784.62,"endTime":1789.7,"body":"joy, your values, your vision"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1789.787,"endTime":1794.868,"body":"for life. There's a lot of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1789.787,"endTime":1794.868,"body":"pressure to go and to do and to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1794.955,"endTime":1800.21,"body":"fix. We are where we are. Real"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1794.955,"endTime":1800.21,"body":"change doesn't happen through"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1800.298,"endTime":1805.641,"body":"force or urgency. It happens"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1800.298,"endTime":1805.641,"body":"when we make space to see what's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1805.729,"endTime":1810.633,"body":"really going on and choose"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1805.729,"endTime":1810.633,"body":"what's important. Into us and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1810.721,"endTime":1815.714,"body":"then take an intentional step"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1810.721,"endTime":1815.714,"body":"forward and learn, and take"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1815.801,"endTime":1821.407,"body":"another intentional step forward"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1815.801,"endTime":1821.407,"body":"and learn. You may have noticed"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1821.494,"endTime":1826.925,"body":"I'm repeating myself a little"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1821.494,"endTime":1826.925,"body":"bit on some of these things, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1827.012,"endTime":1832.618,"body":"that's because it's hard, and we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1827.012,"endTime":1832.618,"body":"need reminders. We need lots of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1832.706,"endTime":1837.873,"body":"reminders. So if you're feeling"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1832.706,"endTime":1837.873,"body":"overwhelmed, stuck, unsure,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1837.961,"endTime":1843.567,"body":"you're not alone, that's normal."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1837.961,"endTime":1843.567,"body":"Notice the patterns that aren't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1843.654,"endTime":1848.472,"body":"serving you, and seek support."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1843.654,"endTime":1848.472,"body":"You don't have to figure"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1848.559,"endTime":1854.077,"body":"everything out on your own, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1848.559,"endTime":1854.077,"body":"support might look like for you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1854.165,"endTime":1859.333,"body":"and it may look like for the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1854.165,"endTime":1859.333,"body":"change that you want to create"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1859.42,"endTime":1864.5,"body":"in the world. Collective action"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1859.42,"endTime":1864.5,"body":"is powerful. I want you to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1864.588,"endTime":1870.193,"body":"remember that you're not failing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1864.588,"endTime":1870.193,"body":"wherever you are in this you're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1870.281,"endTime":1875.624,"body":"navigating a world that doesn't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1870.281,"endTime":1875.624,"body":"really allow us to make space"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1875.712,"endTime":1880.967,"body":"for ourselves and make space for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1875.712,"endTime":1880.967,"body":"intentionality, and despite"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1881.054,"endTime":1886.222,"body":"that, you still deserve the room"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1881.054,"endTime":1886.222,"body":"to reclaim your time, your"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1886.31,"endTime":1890.864,"body":"energy and what is most"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1886.31,"endTime":1890.864,"body":"important to you, reach out,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1890.952,"endTime":1895.594,"body":"whether it is to me or to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1890.952,"endTime":1895.594,"body":"someone else, give yourself"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1895.682,"endTime":1901.025,"body":"permission to get support. I'll"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1895.682,"endTime":1901.025,"body":"remind you that I do have the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1901.112,"endTime":1906.017,"body":"energy leadership index"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1901.112,"endTime":1906.017,"body":"assessment that helps you unlock"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1906.105,"endTime":1910.922,"body":"your subconscious mindset"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1906.105,"endTime":1910.922,"body":"patterns. I have five of them"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1911.01,"endTime":1916.265,"body":"available, 50% off. I also have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1911.01,"endTime":1916.265,"body":"a sliding scale for coaching"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1916.352,"endTime":1920.819,"body":"sessions. So if you're looking"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1916.352,"endTime":1920.819,"body":"for just support for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1920.907,"endTime":1926.338,"body":"discernment, uncovering those"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1920.907,"endTime":1926.338,"body":"patterns, figuring out your next"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1926.425,"endTime":1931.68,"body":"intentional step forward, grab"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1926.425,"endTime":1931.68,"body":"one of those, and the sliding"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1931.768,"endTime":1937.286,"body":"scale is there for you, whatever"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1931.768,"endTime":1937.286,"body":"you need. And if you are still"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1937.374,"endTime":1942.454,"body":"unsure, reach out. Ask me. I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1937.374,"endTime":1942.454,"body":"have a free exploration call,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1942.541,"endTime":1948.059,"body":"and you can use that too. So if"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1942.541,"endTime":1948.059,"body":"you are looking for support, if"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1948.147,"endTime":1953.315,"body":"I sound like maybe I'm the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1948.147,"endTime":1953.315,"body":"person to give that to you, then"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1953.402,"endTime":1958.658,"body":"please feel free to reach out."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1953.402,"endTime":1958.658,"body":"My goal is to help you make a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1958.745,"endTime":1963.825,"body":"decision that fits for you."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1958.745,"endTime":1963.825,"body":"Always, whatever layer of call"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1963.913,"endTime":1968.905,"body":"or communication we are having,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1963.913,"endTime":1968.905,"body":"again, it has been such a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1968.993,"endTime":1974.248,"body":"pleasure being here with you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1968.993,"endTime":1974.248,"body":"over these past four seasons, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1974.336,"endTime":1979.416,"body":"will be back in February. I'd"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1974.336,"endTime":1979.416,"body":"love to hear from you if you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1979.504,"endTime":1984.671,"body":"have insights, if you have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1979.504,"endTime":1984.671,"body":"questions, if you have requests,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1984.759,"endTime":1989.839,"body":"I also have several episodes"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1984.759,"endTime":1989.839,"body":"that dig further into holiday"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1989.927,"endTime":1995.182,"body":"stress. I have a whole page"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1989.927,"endTime":1995.182,"body":"actually designed to support you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1995.269,"endTime":2000.525,"body":"through holiday stress, with a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1995.269,"endTime":2000.525,"body":"curated podcast list and some"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2000.612,"endTime":2005.692,"body":"resources. My free resources"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2000.612,"endTime":2005.692,"body":"page is there, so check those"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2005.78,"endTime":2011.473,"body":"out. And as I wrapped last year,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2005.78,"endTime":2011.473,"body":"I will wrap this year. My wishes"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2011.561,"endTime":2016.378,"body":"for you are that you enter this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2011.561,"endTime":2016.378,"body":"next year rooted in the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2016.466,"endTime":2021.283,"body":"knowledge that you are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2016.466,"endTime":2021.283,"body":"intrinsically valuable, not just"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2021.371,"endTime":2026.801,"body":"what you can produce, but you as"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2021.371,"endTime":2026.801,"body":"a being. You deserve care and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2026.889,"endTime":2031.881,"body":"love, regardless of others"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2026.889,"endTime":2031.881,"body":"ability or willingness to give"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2031.969,"endTime":2036.874,"body":"it to you, you are already"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2031.969,"endTime":2036.874,"body":"enough, and you get to decide"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2036.961,"endTime":2042.304,"body":"what success and enough look"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2036.961,"endTime":2042.304,"body":"like for you. You are allowed to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2042.392,"endTime":2046.859,"body":"change your mind and do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2042.392,"endTime":2046.859,"body":"something different without"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2046.947,"endTime":2052.64,"body":"beating yourself up over it, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2046.947,"endTime":2052.64,"body":"only you can do your inner work."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2052.727,"endTime":2057.895,"body":"But that doesn't mean you have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2052.727,"endTime":2057.895,"body":"to do it alone. I'm here for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2057.983,"endTime":2063.501,"body":"you. I'm wishing you a beautiful"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2057.983,"endTime":2063.501,"body":"new year with rest, reflection"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2063.588,"endTime":2069.72,"body":"and reclaiming this next year of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2063.588,"endTime":2069.72,"body":"life. I'll talk to you all next time."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2069.72,"endTime":2072.947,"body":"Thanks for listening. I so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2069.72,"endTime":2072.947,"body":"appreciate you being here. If"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2073.005,"endTime":2076.693,"body":"you got something out of today's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2073.005,"endTime":2076.693,"body":"episode, please share it, leave"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2076.751,"endTime":2080.151,"body":"me a review, take a screenshot"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2076.751,"endTime":2080.151,"body":"and post it on social with a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2080.209,"endTime":2083.782,"body":"shout out to me, send it to a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2080.209,"endTime":2083.782,"body":"friend, or, you know, all of the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2083.84,"endTime":2087.413,"body":"above. Want to hang out more,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2083.84,"endTime":2087.413,"body":"join me on Instagram, or, better"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2087.471,"endTime":2091.044,"body":"yet, get on my mailing list to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2087.471,"endTime":2091.044,"body":"make sure you don't miss out on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2091.102,"endTime":2094.444,"body":"anything, and remember your"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2091.102,"endTime":2094.444,"body":"possibilities are as unlimited"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2094.502,"endTime":2097.787,"body":"as you are. Allow yourself to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2094.502,"endTime":2097.787,"body":"shine, my friend, the world"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2097.845,"endTime":2099.92,"body":"needs your light. See you next time."}]}