{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":0.27,"endTime":2.76,"body":"Hello, my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":0.27,"endTime":2.76,"body":"friends, and welcome to an"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2.76,"endTime":6.33,"body":"episode of unlimited today."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":2.76,"endTime":6.33,"body":"We're talking about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":6.33,"endTime":11.49,"body":"vulnerability and tending what's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":6.33,"endTime":11.49,"body":"important. I'm your host."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":11.49,"endTime":17.52,"body":"Valerie Friedlander, and if this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":11.49,"endTime":17.52,"body":"is your first episode, welcome."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":17.55,"endTime":21.36,"body":"I'm so glad to have you here. If"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":17.55,"endTime":21.36,"body":"you have been listening for a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":21.36,"endTime":26.88,"body":"while. Hello. It is so wonderful"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":21.36,"endTime":26.88,"body":"to have you back. This episode"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":26.88,"endTime":30.72,"body":"is a little different than my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":26.88,"endTime":30.72,"body":"normal episodes will be, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":30.72,"endTime":36.48,"body":"that is because this is like a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":30.72,"endTime":36.48,"body":"pre season episode, an episode"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":36.81,"endTime":41.16,"body":"between seasons before I start"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":36.81,"endTime":41.16,"body":"the next season. The next season"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":41.16,"endTime":45.63,"body":"coming is season five, and I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":41.16,"endTime":45.63,"body":"so excited to kick it off, but I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":45.63,"endTime":51.36,"body":"have not been ready. I was going"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":45.63,"endTime":51.36,"body":"to bring the podcast back in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":51.39,"endTime":55.5,"body":"February, and here we are now in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":51.39,"endTime":55.5,"body":"February, and this is kind of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":55.5,"endTime":59.55,"body":"like a bonus episode. I am"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":55.5,"endTime":59.55,"body":"sharing an interview that I did"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":59.55,"endTime":64.74,"body":"with Cher Hale, who it was my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":59.55,"endTime":64.74,"body":"last episode or last interview"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":64.77,"endTime":71.61,"body":"of season four. And as we were"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":64.77,"endTime":71.61,"body":"talking, we were closing out our"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":71.61,"endTime":75.96,"body":"episode, our interview, and she"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":71.61,"endTime":75.96,"body":"asked me a question, and I was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":75.96,"endTime":81.87,"body":"like, this is something I think"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":75.96,"endTime":81.87,"body":"I should record. So I asked her"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":81.87,"endTime":87.33,"body":"if that would be okay and hit"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":81.87,"endTime":87.33,"body":"record. And what I'm sharing is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":87.36,"endTime":93.54,"body":"very much a processing of this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":87.36,"endTime":93.54,"body":"question. So you're you're gonna"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":93.54,"endTime":97.83,"body":"get to hear a little bit of my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":93.54,"endTime":97.83,"body":"out loud processing when it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":97.83,"endTime":104.07,"body":"comes to the idea of attention"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":97.83,"endTime":104.07,"body":"and vulnerability, she asked me"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":104.07,"endTime":108.63,"body":"what my next steps are when it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":104.07,"endTime":108.63,"body":"comes to demanding attention. So"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":108.69,"endTime":113.31,"body":"if you haven't listened to our"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":108.69,"endTime":113.31,"body":"interview, I encourage you to go"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":113.34,"endTime":120.24,"body":"check that out first. This one"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":113.34,"endTime":120.24,"body":"is, I mean, it can stand alone,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":120.27,"endTime":126.75,"body":"but we do reference the earlier"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":120.27,"endTime":126.75,"body":"one. I'm sharing this here and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":126.78,"endTime":130.29,"body":"now because I wanted to give you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":126.78,"endTime":130.29,"body":"something since I had said, Oh,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":130.29,"endTime":134.85,"body":"I'm coming back in February, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":130.29,"endTime":134.85,"body":"I just, I haven't been ready. I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":134.85,"endTime":140.76,"body":"haven't been ready to do that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":134.85,"endTime":140.76,"body":"for a few reasons, one being"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":140.79,"endTime":146.79,"body":"that a good chunk of January I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":140.79,"endTime":146.79,"body":"was sick. First I had COVID, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":146.79,"endTime":151.83,"body":"then my son brought a norovirus"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":146.79,"endTime":151.83,"body":"home, so I was down with that."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":151.86,"endTime":160.5,"body":"So just energetically, I haven't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":151.86,"endTime":160.5,"body":"had the space to really engage"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":160.5,"endTime":164.34,"body":"the way I wanted to. And then"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":160.5,"endTime":164.34,"body":"there's a lot of stuff going on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":164.34,"endTime":171.6,"body":"right now, and it is a lot. It"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":164.34,"endTime":171.6,"body":"is a lot. So I before I get"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":171.6,"endTime":177.12,"body":"started, before I share the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":171.6,"endTime":177.12,"body":"recording of this conversation"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":177.12,"endTime":183.45,"body":"with you, I do want to encourage"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":177.12,"endTime":183.45,"body":"you to make sure that you're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":183.45,"endTime":187.56,"body":"taking care of yourself. One of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":183.45,"endTime":187.56,"body":"the things that came up recently"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":188.43,"endTime":192.33,"body":"with some folks I was having a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":188.43,"endTime":192.33,"body":"conversation with had to do with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":192.36,"endTime":201.3,"body":"the idea, or the difference"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":192.36,"endTime":201.3,"body":"between visioning and pretending"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":202.26,"endTime":210.18,"body":"and the reason we were talking"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":202.26,"endTime":210.18,"body":"about that is how it can seem"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":210.18,"endTime":212.16,"body":"like you're just being really"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":210.18,"endTime":212.16,"body":"depressing all the time when"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":212.16,"endTime":215.1,"body":"you're talking about what's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":212.16,"endTime":215.1,"body":"happening. And I mean"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":215.1,"endTime":217.74,"body":"specifically in the United"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":215.1,"endTime":217.74,"body":"States, if you're listening"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":217.77,"endTime":224.94,"body":"outside of the US, and to be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":217.77,"endTime":224.94,"body":"real about what's going on, to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":224.94,"endTime":230.49,"body":"not pretend, I think, is really"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":224.94,"endTime":230.49,"body":"important, and it's exhausting,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":231.18,"endTime":238.05,"body":"so making sure that you make"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":231.18,"endTime":238.05,"body":"room for Care for yourself and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":238.26,"endTime":245.28,"body":"for the ability to imagine"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":238.26,"endTime":245.28,"body":"something that you can feed"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":245.28,"endTime":247.98,"body":"into, that you can build"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":245.28,"endTime":247.98,"body":"towards, that you can create,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":247.98,"endTime":251.16,"body":"that you can put your energy"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":247.98,"endTime":251.16,"body":"towards. Because I talk a lot"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":251.16,"endTime":255.54,"body":"about how important it is to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":251.16,"endTime":255.54,"body":"focus on what you want versus"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":255.54,"endTime":260.16,"body":"just trying to get away from"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":255.54,"endTime":260.16,"body":"what you don't want. And that's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":260.16,"endTime":264.09,"body":"still true. It's still"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":260.16,"endTime":264.09,"body":"important, and when you're doing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":264.09,"endTime":270.36,"body":"visioning work, to know where"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":264.09,"endTime":270.36,"body":"you are is part of how you take"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":270.36,"endTime":273.06,"body":"action. But before you take"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":270.36,"endTime":273.06,"body":"action, you do want to know"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":273.09,"endTime":275.16,"body":"where you're going, what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":273.09,"endTime":275.16,"body":"direction you're building"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":275.16,"endTime":282.69,"body":"towards, so making sure that you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":275.16,"endTime":282.69,"body":"have room for that, and then to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":282.69,"endTime":286.56,"body":"be able to be grounded in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":282.69,"endTime":286.56,"body":"reality. And those two things"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":286.56,"endTime":289.62,"body":"can feel at odds right now,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":286.56,"endTime":289.62,"body":"because that idea of what you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":289.62,"endTime":293.58,"body":"want and the hopefulness that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":289.62,"endTime":293.58,"body":"comes along with it, and the joy"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":293.76,"endTime":298.83,"body":"and the spaciousness, and then"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":293.76,"endTime":298.83,"body":"to come back to what is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":298.83,"endTime":305.85,"body":"happening. And what obstacles"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":298.83,"endTime":305.85,"body":"are in place. It's it's a lot,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":306.09,"endTime":308.34,"body":"it's a lot. It's very"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":306.09,"endTime":308.34,"body":"exhausting. And that's another"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":308.34,"endTime":312.87,"body":"reason why I've been taking some"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":308.34,"endTime":312.87,"body":"extra space and some extra care"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":312.9,"endTime":318.69,"body":"for myself and to connect with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":312.9,"endTime":318.69,"body":"other people outside of the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":318.72,"endTime":323.01,"body":"sharing of things and the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":318.72,"endTime":323.01,"body":"business things and all of that,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":323.43,"endTime":327.24,"body":"it's so important to make room."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":323.43,"endTime":327.24,"body":"And that is one of the things"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":327.24,"endTime":331.41,"body":"that Sharon and I talk a little"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":327.24,"endTime":331.41,"body":"bit about, is doing things"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":331.65,"endTime":336.0,"body":"because they matter, not because"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":331.65,"endTime":336.0,"body":"it looks good, and I would throw"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":336.0,"endTime":341.19,"body":"in there, also not because you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":336.0,"endTime":341.19,"body":"know that it will work, and that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":341.19,"endTime":344.16,"body":"can be hard, because I think a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":341.19,"endTime":344.16,"body":"lot of us, myself included,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":344.19,"endTime":347.82,"body":"really want to do the right"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":344.19,"endTime":347.82,"body":"thing, which means the thing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":347.82,"endTime":353.4,"body":"that will work, we don't want to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":347.82,"endTime":353.4,"body":"waste time, waste energy."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":353.4,"endTime":356.43,"body":"There's a lot of talk in our"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":353.4,"endTime":356.43,"body":"society around the idea of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":356.43,"endTime":364.02,"body":"wasting and that is often tied"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":356.43,"endTime":364.02,"body":"with being productive and being"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":364.02,"endTime":368.49,"body":"effective and efficient in all"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":364.02,"endTime":368.49,"body":"of these words, that are super"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":368.49,"endTime":373.47,"body":"caught up in our capitalist"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":368.49,"endTime":373.47,"body":"society that's so focused on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":373.47,"endTime":382.59,"body":"production all The time, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":373.47,"endTime":382.59,"body":"it's important to make sure that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":382.59,"endTime":388.26,"body":"you are caring for yourself"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":382.59,"endTime":388.26,"body":"through that and knowing that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":388.44,"endTime":393.24,"body":"there are things that are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":388.44,"endTime":393.24,"body":"important to us that we aren't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":393.24,"endTime":397.74,"body":"going to get to see in our"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":393.24,"endTime":397.74,"body":"lifetime. That doesn't mean that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":397.74,"endTime":400.35,"body":"they won't happen, and it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":397.74,"endTime":400.35,"body":"doesn't mean that it isn't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":400.35,"endTime":403.53,"body":"important. You just think about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":400.35,"endTime":403.53,"body":"all of the artists who became"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":403.53,"endTime":411.45,"body":"famous after they had passed,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":403.53,"endTime":411.45,"body":"and like authors and painters"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":411.48,"endTime":416.91,"body":"and just just so many people,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":411.48,"endTime":416.91,"body":"people who made a difference but"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":416.94,"endTime":420.54,"body":"didn't necessarily get to see"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":416.94,"endTime":420.54,"body":"the difference that they made."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":420.87,"endTime":428.1,"body":"Activists. There's so many"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":420.87,"endTime":428.1,"body":"people, and I know that I would"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":428.1,"endTime":433.2,"body":"love to see the world that I am"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":428.1,"endTime":433.2,"body":"working towards and that I put"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":433.2,"endTime":438.99,"body":"effort into. And I also know"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":433.2,"endTime":438.99,"body":"that what I want to create is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":439.2,"endTime":444.69,"body":"too big for that. I want to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":439.2,"endTime":444.69,"body":"create a world that is caring"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":444.69,"endTime":449.19,"body":"and supportive, and that is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":444.69,"endTime":449.19,"body":"going to take time from where we"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":449.19,"endTime":453.54,"body":"are, so that means that I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":449.19,"endTime":453.54,"body":"probably won't get to see the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":453.54,"endTime":457.59,"body":"fruits of that labor, and that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":453.54,"endTime":457.59,"body":"doesn't mean that they are not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":457.59,"endTime":463.59,"body":"going to happen. So I just want"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":457.59,"endTime":463.59,"body":"to encourage you to hold on to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":463.59,"endTime":469.44,"body":"the places that support you in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":463.59,"endTime":469.44,"body":"that visioning and release the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":469.44,"endTime":474.9,"body":"perfectionism and the pressure"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":469.44,"endTime":474.9,"body":"for it to be something that you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":474.9,"endTime":481.14,"body":"get to know and see and know"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":474.9,"endTime":481.14,"body":"that doing it matters regardless"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":481.38,"endTime":488.04,"body":"that the intention and the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":481.38,"endTime":488.04,"body":"effort and the energy that you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":488.04,"endTime":494.52,"body":"put into being in the world"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":488.04,"endTime":494.52,"body":"matter, and whatever you can do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":494.52,"endTime":500.31,"body":"matters, and it doesn't have to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":494.52,"endTime":500.31,"body":"be huge and big and Create this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":500.31,"endTime":503.73,"body":"thing that you can see. So"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":500.31,"endTime":503.73,"body":"anyway, I'm rambling a little"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":503.73,"endTime":509.91,"body":"bit. I just, I want, I want to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":503.73,"endTime":509.91,"body":"send you so much love right now,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":509.97,"endTime":516.48,"body":"and it is a little vulnerable to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":509.97,"endTime":516.48,"body":"say that it's hard right now,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":517.26,"endTime":523.2,"body":"and here we are, and you're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":517.26,"endTime":523.2,"body":"here, and I'm here, and I'm glad"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":523.2,"endTime":529.05,"body":"that you're here. So what we're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":523.2,"endTime":529.05,"body":"going to talk about in this"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":529.05,"endTime":534.06,"body":"episode are a little bit about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":529.05,"endTime":534.06,"body":"me, and you're going to hear me"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":534.06,"endTime":538.05,"body":"processing, and I do want to say"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":534.06,"endTime":538.05,"body":"about some of my processing. I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":538.05,"endTime":542.1,"body":"mentioned some things about my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":538.05,"endTime":542.1,"body":"life and the things that have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":542.1,"endTime":546.45,"body":"impacted my life, and I want to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":542.1,"endTime":546.45,"body":"make sure that I'm clear,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":546.45,"endTime":549.84,"body":"particularly when it comes to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":546.45,"endTime":549.84,"body":"and I've referenced this before,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":550.32,"endTime":554.73,"body":"growing up in a home impacted by"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":550.32,"endTime":554.73,"body":"alcoholism, I'm not blaming"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":554.97,"endTime":560.55,"body":"anybody in this, and I'm not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":554.97,"endTime":560.55,"body":"actually. I'm grateful, I would"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":560.55,"endTime":563.94,"body":"say, for the experiences and for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":560.55,"endTime":563.94,"body":"the relationships that I built"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":563.94,"endTime":567.39,"body":"through the process of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":563.94,"endTime":567.39,"body":"unlearning things and through"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":567.39,"endTime":574.68,"body":"the process of recovering, both"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":567.39,"endTime":574.68,"body":"with the alcoholism in recovery"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":574.98,"endTime":579.06,"body":"and the codependency and all of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":574.98,"endTime":579.06,"body":"the impacts of that in recovery."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":579.3,"endTime":583.38,"body":"And so I have a lot of gratitude"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":579.3,"endTime":583.38,"body":"for that. I don't say that in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":583.38,"endTime":585.66,"body":"this episode show. I just"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":583.38,"endTime":585.66,"body":"thought it was really important"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":585.66,"endTime":590.16,"body":"that I say that here, while I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":585.66,"endTime":590.16,"body":"talking about the emotional"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":590.16,"endTime":601.95,"body":"impact and the dynamics of not."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":590.16,"endTime":601.95,"body":"Being visible and not feeling"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":601.95,"endTime":609.63,"body":"safe being visible, it's much"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":601.95,"endTime":609.63,"body":"more. I don't know how to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":609.63,"endTime":618.21,"body":"explain this. It's not about for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":609.63,"endTime":618.21,"body":"me. It wasn't about fear of my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":618.39,"endTime":623.97,"body":"safety, physically or even as"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":618.39,"endTime":623.97,"body":"dramatically as it is for some"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":623.97,"endTime":629.85,"body":"people, it really was about the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":623.97,"endTime":629.85,"body":"idea of belonging and emotional"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":629.85,"endTime":632.04,"body":"safety. So I just, I wanted to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":629.85,"endTime":632.04,"body":"be clear about that, because"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":632.04,"endTime":638.19,"body":"it's important that I am, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":632.04,"endTime":638.19,"body":"believe. But this is a is a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":638.19,"endTime":641.46,"body":"vulnerable conversation to share"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":638.19,"endTime":641.46,"body":"in a lot of ways, because,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":641.7,"endTime":644.07,"body":"again, it's neat out loud"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":641.7,"endTime":644.07,"body":"processing, which is something"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":644.07,"endTime":648.03,"body":"that I do. A lot of my clients"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":644.07,"endTime":648.03,"body":"are also out loud processors, so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":649.11,"endTime":652.74,"body":"that's a thing, but it's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":649.11,"endTime":652.74,"body":"vulnerable to do that as well."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":653.01,"endTime":656.94,"body":"So we're going to talk about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":653.01,"endTime":656.94,"body":"that, talking about unlearning"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":656.97,"endTime":660.99,"body":"and divesting from supremacy"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":656.97,"endTime":660.99,"body":"culture and shame and the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":660.99,"endTime":666.18,"body":"necessity of community and the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":660.99,"endTime":666.18,"body":"importance of storytelling and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":666.63,"endTime":672.93,"body":"really looking at what you're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":666.63,"endTime":672.93,"body":"tending in your life and what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":672.93,"endTime":677.73,"body":"you're not tending and why, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":672.93,"endTime":677.73,"body":"what you want to do about that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":677.73,"endTime":681.45,"body":"which ties to that visioning of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":677.73,"endTime":681.45,"body":"like In this vision that you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":681.45,"endTime":686.04,"body":"have for your life, where you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":681.45,"endTime":686.04,"body":"can tap into that, what needs"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":686.04,"endTime":691.71,"body":"attention, what needs tending in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":686.04,"endTime":691.71,"body":"that vision, or in order to make"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":691.71,"endTime":695.22,"body":"that vision happen, like if you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":691.71,"endTime":695.22,"body":"imagine this amazing garden, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":695.22,"endTime":699.27,"body":"you're planting seeds, you need"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":695.22,"endTime":699.27,"body":"to tend those seeds. So what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":699.27,"endTime":704.4,"body":"seeds are you planting? What"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":699.27,"endTime":704.4,"body":"seeds are you tending? So that's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":704.4,"endTime":709.35,"body":"what we're talking about. As I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":704.4,"endTime":709.35,"body":"mentioned, this is a pre season"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":709.35,"endTime":718.08,"body":"episode. I'm not doing an intro,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":709.35,"endTime":718.08,"body":"an outro. This is just this. I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":718.08,"endTime":722.28,"body":"am planning on revamping some of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":718.08,"endTime":722.28,"body":"the like intro outro, I'm gonna"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":722.28,"endTime":727.86,"body":"start sharing ads for some"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":722.28,"endTime":727.86,"body":"amazing podcasts that I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":727.86,"endTime":731.7,"body":"connected with, so that you know"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":727.86,"endTime":731.7,"body":"other places to go, as well as"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":731.94,"endTime":737.28,"body":"potentially some short ads about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":731.94,"endTime":737.28,"body":"things that I think are amazing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":737.31,"endTime":744.3,"body":"that I want to share. And so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":737.31,"endTime":744.3,"body":"that's coming, but again, lots"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":744.3,"endTime":750.27,"body":"of shifts and energy. So my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":744.3,"endTime":750.27,"body":"intention is to have my season"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":750.27,"endTime":756.09,"body":"start in March. So look for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":750.27,"endTime":756.09,"body":"that. Then I would love to hear"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":756.09,"endTime":760.32,"body":"from you, if you have thoughts."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":756.09,"endTime":760.32,"body":"One of the things that I've been"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":760.32,"endTime":765.81,"body":"percolating is the idea of doing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":760.32,"endTime":765.81,"body":"like, uh, answering questions"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":765.84,"endTime":770.52,"body":"that people might have about my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":765.84,"endTime":770.52,"body":"thoughts in the world. So if you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":770.52,"endTime":774.51,"body":"have questions, I do have a Ask"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":770.52,"endTime":774.51,"body":"Me Anything link where you can"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":774.96,"endTime":778.23,"body":"click and do that, and I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":774.96,"endTime":778.23,"body":"encourage you, it'll be in the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":778.23,"endTime":786.51,"body":"show notes. And I think that's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":778.23,"endTime":786.51,"body":"it. So now I'm going to share"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":786.6,"endTime":790.53,"body":"this conversation with Cher,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":786.6,"endTime":790.53,"body":"who's amazing again, all the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":790.53,"endTime":794.22,"body":"links in the show notes. Check"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":790.53,"endTime":794.22,"body":"them out. Thank you for being"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":794.22,"endTime":797.97,"body":"here. Without further ado, let's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":794.22,"endTime":797.97,"body":"get started. You."},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":805.14,"endTime":807.51,"body":"So when you think"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":805.14,"endTime":807.51,"body":"about what comes next for you in"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":807.51,"endTime":810.66,"body":"terms of feeling comfortable,"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":807.51,"endTime":810.66,"body":"feeling like you have agency,"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":810.66,"endTime":814.02,"body":"like you, like you can demand"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":810.66,"endTime":814.02,"body":"attention for yourself, in spite"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":814.02,"endTime":817.56,"body":"of the fear or the discomfort,"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":814.02,"endTime":817.56,"body":"what do you think is next for"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":817.56,"endTime":820.62,"body":"you? What's your next stage of"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":817.56,"endTime":820.62,"body":"healing or growth that needs to"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":820.62,"endTime":821.07,"body":"happen."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":821.64,"endTime":824.13,"body":"I think it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":821.64,"endTime":824.13,"body":"ties into what we were talking"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":824.13,"endTime":828.21,"body":"about before, about about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":824.13,"endTime":828.21,"body":"community. I mean, that that's a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":828.21,"endTime":832.86,"body":"big part of what I've been"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":828.21,"endTime":832.86,"body":"exploring is like extricating a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":832.86,"endTime":837.24,"body":"lot of the individualistic"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":832.86,"endTime":837.24,"body":"thinking and the white supremacy"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":837.27,"endTime":843.15,"body":"conditioning, because I want to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":837.27,"endTime":843.15,"body":"be really mindful of the system."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":843.57,"endTime":848.22,"body":"When I show up to it, it's like"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":843.57,"endTime":848.22,"body":"what you were talking about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":848.25,"endTime":852.99,"body":"before, also about, like the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":848.25,"endTime":852.99,"body":"energy of investing into a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":852.99,"endTime":857.61,"body":"relationship. Because to do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":852.99,"endTime":857.61,"body":"that, it's both unlearning"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":858.45,"endTime":863.43,"body":"programming. It's excavating the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":858.45,"endTime":863.43,"body":"programming and and releasing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":863.43,"endTime":868.08,"body":"it, divesting from it, all the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":863.43,"endTime":868.08,"body":"facets of it. So I think about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":868.08,"endTime":871.29,"body":"this in terms of, like, you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":868.08,"endTime":871.29,"body":"know, there's, there's the the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":871.29,"endTime":875.64,"body":"hierarchies, right? Like we are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":871.29,"endTime":875.64,"body":"conditioned around hierarchies"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":875.97,"endTime":879.78,"body":"to think in terms of, Where do I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":875.97,"endTime":879.78,"body":"sit in my proximity to power,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":879.78,"endTime":883.56,"body":"and who am I above, and who am I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":879.78,"endTime":883.56,"body":"below? And how do those things"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":883.56,"endTime":887.1,"body":"work? So in terms of my own"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":883.56,"endTime":887.1,"body":"ability to call attention to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":887.1,"endTime":892.32,"body":"myself, being taught, over time,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":887.1,"endTime":892.32,"body":"as a young person that I don't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":892.32,"endTime":894.93,"body":"get attention and also not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":892.32,"endTime":894.93,"body":"wanting to call attention to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":894.93,"endTime":901.92,"body":"myself because I could be then"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":894.93,"endTime":901.92,"body":"targeted for i. Bullying. For"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":902.07,"endTime":904.86,"body":"you know, I grew up with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":902.07,"endTime":904.86,"body":"alcoholism in my home, and I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":904.86,"endTime":907.92,"body":"always thought that that was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":904.86,"endTime":907.92,"body":"like, uh, one. I thought, well,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":907.92,"endTime":911.82,"body":"this is just my family. And then"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":907.92,"endTime":911.82,"body":"I thought, Oh, well, this is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":911.85,"endTime":916.92,"body":"this is addiction. And then I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":911.85,"endTime":916.92,"body":"realized, Oh no, this is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":916.95,"endTime":921.27,"body":"supremacy culture. Do? I did a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":916.95,"endTime":921.27,"body":"workshop with resmaa manichem"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":921.69,"endTime":924.33,"body":"talking about like the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":921.69,"endTime":924.33,"body":"conditioning around protecting"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":924.33,"endTime":928.68,"body":"the white man and white women"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":924.33,"endTime":928.68,"body":"being conditioned to you be the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":928.68,"endTime":931.83,"body":"gatekeepers of white supremacy,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":928.68,"endTime":931.83,"body":"so protect the white man, and a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":931.83,"endTime":935.85,"body":"lot of that has to do with"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":931.83,"endTime":935.85,"body":"protecting his emotions. And so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":935.85,"endTime":939.78,"body":"calling attention to myself"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":935.85,"endTime":939.78,"body":"means one, I could be a victim"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":939.78,"endTime":949.11,"body":"of his emotions, and two that I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":939.78,"endTime":949.11,"body":"could activate his emotions, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":949.11,"endTime":951.48,"body":"that's dangerous on multiple"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":949.11,"endTime":951.48,"body":"levels depending on what emotion"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":951.48,"endTime":955.05,"body":"I activate, because they're not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":951.48,"endTime":955.05,"body":"taught to have emotions and to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":955.05,"endTime":961.11,"body":"process emotions, and so we have"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":955.05,"endTime":961.11,"body":"to Protect the emotions so that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":961.11,"endTime":969.36,"body":"we're not attacked by them in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":961.11,"endTime":969.36,"body":"some way. And so the way we're"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":969.36,"endTime":972.78,"body":"conditioned to do that is both"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":969.36,"endTime":972.78,"body":"protecting them from us as well"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":972.78,"endTime":977.34,"body":"as protecting them from other"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":972.78,"endTime":977.34,"body":"people, especially other"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":977.34,"endTime":981.06,"body":"identities, who are going to be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":977.34,"endTime":981.06,"body":"seen as more of an attack,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":981.09,"endTime":983.01,"body":"right, because of that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":981.09,"endTime":983.01,"body":"conditioning of supremacy"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":983.01,"endTime":989.34,"body":"culture. So for me, it's it's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":983.01,"endTime":989.34,"body":"unpacking all the layers of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":989.34,"endTime":992.61,"body":"that, both in terms of my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":989.34,"endTime":992.61,"body":"complicitness with the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":992.61,"endTime":999.45,"body":"protection of the hierarchies"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":992.61,"endTime":999.45,"body":"through protecting above myself,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":999.99,"endTime":1003.44,"body":"upholding the ceiling above"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":999.99,"endTime":1003.44,"body":"myself to protect my I mean, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1003.44,"endTime":1007.91,"body":"think glass ceilings are they"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1003.44,"endTime":1007.91,"body":"end up becoming both a way of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1007.91,"endTime":1011.09,"body":"keeping us out, but also a way"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1007.91,"endTime":1011.09,"body":"of protecting ourselves. And if"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1011.09,"endTime":1015.02,"body":"we don't unpack both aspects of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1011.09,"endTime":1015.02,"body":"that, then we uphold them"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1015.2,"endTime":1017.66,"body":"without realizing we stand on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1015.2,"endTime":1017.66,"body":"the glass ceiling while holding"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1017.66,"endTime":1022.82,"body":"the while trying to break the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1017.66,"endTime":1022.82,"body":"glass ceiling. And so unpacking"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1022.82,"endTime":1027.2,"body":"my my protection of above"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1022.82,"endTime":1027.2,"body":"myself, as well as unpacking the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1027.2,"endTime":1033.77,"body":"ways in which I hold off people"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1027.2,"endTime":1033.77,"body":"who are seen as lower on the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1033.77,"endTime":1041.42,"body":"hierarchy in our society. So it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1033.77,"endTime":1041.42,"body":"involves a dual effort in that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1041.42,"endTime":1044.87,"body":"respect, so that I am being"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1041.42,"endTime":1044.87,"body":"really mindful of myself, but"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1044.87,"endTime":1050.15,"body":"also that I am doing the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1044.87,"endTime":1050.15,"body":"emotional work to receive"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1050.15,"endTime":1056.78,"body":"critique and assess critique, so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1050.15,"endTime":1056.78,"body":"that I'm not fragile like"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1057.53,"endTime":1060.35,"body":"because I think, you know, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1057.53,"endTime":1060.35,"body":"think about glass ceilings. I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1060.35,"endTime":1062.12,"body":"holding the glass ceiling while"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1060.35,"endTime":1062.12,"body":"standing on the glass ceiling."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1062.12,"endTime":1064.82,"body":"But ultimately, I but ultimately"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1062.12,"endTime":1064.82,"body":"I am the glass ceiling, sure,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1065.39,"endTime":1069.71,"body":"right? That's the fragility, if"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1065.39,"endTime":1069.71,"body":"I'm if that's why I am so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1069.71,"endTime":1075.62,"body":"fragile, right? So drawing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1069.71,"endTime":1075.62,"body":"attention to myself is full of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1075.62,"endTime":1084.35,"body":"shame, both being taught to be"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1075.62,"endTime":1084.35,"body":"ashamed and then that tool being"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1084.35,"endTime":1088.16,"body":"coming forward when I realized"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1084.35,"endTime":1088.16,"body":"that I'm complicit. So it's like"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1088.31,"endTime":1091.76,"body":"I'm taught to be ashamed. I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1088.31,"endTime":1091.76,"body":"realize I'm complicit, and the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1091.76,"endTime":1097.37,"body":"shame activates to reinforce the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1091.76,"endTime":1097.37,"body":"structure. So that was like a"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1097.37,"endTime":1101.54,"body":"long way of saying, this is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1097.37,"endTime":1101.54,"body":"really I'm not a short, winded"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1101.54,"endTime":1106.97,"body":"person, but that's like my"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1101.54,"endTime":1106.97,"body":"outlaw processing of of what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1106.97,"endTime":1111.2,"body":"what's next for me really has to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1106.97,"endTime":1111.2,"body":"do with ensuring that I am in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1111.44,"endTime":1117.08,"body":"community with other people"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1111.44,"endTime":1117.08,"body":"doing similar work, so that I am"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1117.08,"endTime":1122.75,"body":"not just lost in my own wounds"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1117.08,"endTime":1122.75,"body":"and in my own thoughts, and I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1122.75,"endTime":1129.56,"body":"taking inspiration from others"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1122.75,"endTime":1129.56,"body":"and ensuring that I am uplifting"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1129.56,"endTime":1133.28,"body":"others in the process. That I'm"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1129.56,"endTime":1133.28,"body":"doing things because they"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1133.28,"endTime":1136.19,"body":"matter, not because I want to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1133.28,"endTime":1136.19,"body":"look good."},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1137.03,"endTime":1140.09,"body":"Yes, it's not"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1137.03,"endTime":1140.09,"body":"performative, right? You know,"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1140.12,"endTime":1145.04,"body":"as you're talking, what I'm"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1140.12,"endTime":1145.04,"body":"realizing is that we are in"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1145.04,"endTime":1148.37,"body":"community, yes, to be supported"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1145.04,"endTime":1148.37,"body":"and to support others, but also"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1148.37,"endTime":1152.81,"body":"so that we can have a close hand"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1148.37,"endTime":1152.81,"body":"view of what it looks like from"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1152.81,"endTime":1155.81,"body":"others to be in a right"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1152.81,"endTime":1155.81,"body":"relationship with things like"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1155.81,"endTime":1158.81,"body":"attention, right we need"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1155.81,"endTime":1158.81,"body":"examples. This is why"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1158.81,"endTime":1162.02,"body":"representation is such a huge"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1158.81,"endTime":1162.02,"body":"topic, and it continues to be an"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1162.02,"endTime":1165.26,"body":"issue that we're battling. It's"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1162.02,"endTime":1165.26,"body":"because we need those models, we"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1165.26,"endTime":1167.84,"body":"need those stories to remind us"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1165.26,"endTime":1167.84,"body":"that this is possible. This is"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1167.84,"endTime":1171.23,"body":"what it looks like to be in"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1167.84,"endTime":1171.23,"body":"right relationship with the"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1171.23,"endTime":1174.71,"body":"aspects of ourselves that we"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1171.23,"endTime":1174.71,"body":"need, that we want to we want,"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1174.71,"endTime":1177.08,"body":"we want to touch, to have"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1174.71,"endTime":1177.08,"body":"honored and with also the skill"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1177.08,"endTime":1179.15,"body":"set we need to to affect change."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1179.93,"endTime":1182.12,"body":"Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1179.93,"endTime":1182.12,"body":"love that you use that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1182.12,"endTime":1185.18,"body":"terminology, because that is"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1182.12,"endTime":1185.18,"body":"something that that comes up"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1185.39,"endTime":1188.75,"body":"frequently, that idea of really"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1185.39,"endTime":1188.75,"body":"interrogating right"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1188.75,"endTime":1191.72,"body":"relationship, what is my right"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1188.75,"endTime":1191.72,"body":"relationship with this, as well"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1191.72,"endTime":1195.95,"body":"as thinking about thinking"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1191.72,"endTime":1195.95,"body":"about, what am I not paying"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1195.95,"endTime":1199.88,"body":"attention to? Right Like, not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1195.95,"endTime":1199.88,"body":"just what am I calling attention"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1199.88,"endTime":1204.11,"body":"to? To or allowing myself to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1199.88,"endTime":1204.11,"body":"receive attention. But what do I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1204.11,"endTime":1209.12,"body":"not want? What am I avoiding"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1204.11,"endTime":1209.12,"body":"attending to, and why?"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1209.87,"endTime":1212.45,"body":"Yeah, the key word"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1209.87,"endTime":1212.45,"body":"here is attending. Uh huh. I"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1212.45,"endTime":1215.63,"body":"think you use, like the Latin,"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1212.45,"endTime":1215.63,"body":"the Latin root effectively,"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1215.63,"endTime":1220.73,"body":"right? Which is like we are when"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1215.63,"endTime":1220.73,"body":"we give attention. Like, what"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1220.73,"endTime":1225.23,"body":"are we not attending to or"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1220.73,"endTime":1225.23,"body":"attending to in in favor"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1225.23,"endTime":1228.83,"body":"something else or to avoid"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1225.23,"endTime":1228.83,"body":"something else? Yeah, I think"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1228.83,"endTime":1232.73,"body":"often about what it what's"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1228.83,"endTime":1232.73,"body":"stealing my attention away from"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1232.73,"endTime":1236.81,"body":"me so that I can't focus or give"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1232.73,"endTime":1236.81,"body":"attention to what I think really"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1236.81,"endTime":1240.02,"body":"matters. And there's so much I"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1236.81,"endTime":1240.02,"body":"feel like the attention topic,"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1240.02,"endTime":1242.0,"body":"just like it hits all the angles"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1242.75,"endTime":1243.56,"body":"It does."},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1243.65,"endTime":1247.31,"body":"of like, both our"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1243.65,"endTime":1247.31,"body":"growth as like, of what we need"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1247.34,"endTime":1252.59,"body":"to to affect change and with how"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1247.34,"endTime":1252.59,"body":"our system is intuited into our"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1252.59,"endTime":1253.46,"body":"personal lives."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1253.5,"endTime":1256.868,"body":"Yeah. Well,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1253.5,"endTime":1256.868,"body":"yeah. So taking that word,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1256.956,"endTime":1261.92,"body":"because I love words more nerd,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1256.956,"endTime":1261.92,"body":"and taking that word and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1262.009,"endTime":1267.593,"body":"thinking attention and attending"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1262.009,"endTime":1267.593,"body":"to and then tending like, what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1267.682,"endTime":1273.0,"body":"am I tending? Yes, and what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1267.682,"endTime":1273.0,"body":"needs tending, and what am I not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1273.089,"endTime":1278.23,"body":"tending? And why am I not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1273.089,"endTime":1278.23,"body":"tending? It sure, and that idea,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1278.319,"endTime":1283.46,"body":"going back to what you were"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1278.319,"endTime":1283.46,"body":"saying before about that, what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1283.549,"endTime":1288.69,"body":"are my needs like? Asking for"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1283.549,"endTime":1288.69,"body":"what I need, asking for what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1288.779,"endTime":1290.02,"body":"needs tending,"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1290.02,"endTime":1293.638,"body":"Yeah, and I neglected"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1290.02,"endTime":1293.638,"body":"to say this earlier, and I wish"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1293.706,"endTime":1297.871,"body":"I had, but so much of what's"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1293.706,"endTime":1297.871,"body":"transformed my relationship with"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1297.94,"endTime":1302.036,"body":"attention is nervous system"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1297.94,"endTime":1302.036,"body":"work, so allowing myself to have"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1302.105,"endTime":1306.133,"body":"the space to do EMDR therapy"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1302.105,"endTime":1306.133,"body":"number one. And then there's a"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1306.201,"endTime":1310.366,"body":"protocol called the safe and"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1306.201,"endTime":1310.366,"body":"sound protocol, and I do that in"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1310.434,"endTime":1314.394,"body":"conjunction with my therapist,"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1310.434,"endTime":1314.394,"body":"but it just it targets your"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1314.463,"endTime":1318.355,"body":"autonomic nervous system to"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1314.463,"endTime":1318.355,"body":"remind it that it's safe. And"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1318.423,"endTime":1321.973,"body":"that has, I've seen the"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1318.423,"endTime":1321.973,"body":"dividends there of what it's"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1322.041,"endTime":1326.48,"body":"like to feel just even 1% more"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1322.041,"endTime":1326.48,"body":"courageous to ask for what I want."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1327.26,"endTime":1330.2,"body":"Yeah, well,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1327.26,"endTime":1330.2,"body":"I'm glad that you mentioned that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1330.68,"endTime":1335.0,"body":"the nervous system work is so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1330.68,"endTime":1335.0,"body":"key, because, again, we're wired"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1335.0,"endTime":1338.0,"body":"for belonging. And Amina"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1335.0,"endTime":1338.0,"body":"Chaudhary, in an interview that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1338.0,"endTime":1340.78,"body":"I did with her, talking about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1338.0,"endTime":1340.78,"body":"belonging and how we're wired"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1340.78,"endTime":1344.2,"body":"for belonging has been so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1340.78,"endTime":1344.2,"body":"informative because of that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1344.38,"endTime":1348.04,"body":"understanding that our nervous"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1344.38,"endTime":1348.04,"body":"system senses danger if we don't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1348.04,"endTime":1352.0,"body":"feel a sense of belonging. And"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1348.04,"endTime":1352.0,"body":"because our society is not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1352.06,"endTime":1355.42,"body":"designed around belonging,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1352.06,"endTime":1355.42,"body":"because we are not thinking"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1355.42,"endTime":1358.24,"body":"collectively, we're thinking"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1355.42,"endTime":1358.24,"body":"individualistically, we've"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1358.24,"endTime":1362.88,"body":"replaced belonging with fitting"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1358.24,"endTime":1362.88,"body":"in. And so fitting in is where"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1362.88,"endTime":1368.52,"body":"we start to uphold the, you"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1362.88,"endTime":1368.52,"body":"know, niceness, the not allowing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1368.52,"endTime":1373.32,"body":"attention to the things that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1368.52,"endTime":1373.32,"body":"need attention because they"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1373.32,"endTime":1376.32,"body":"disrupt the status quo, right?"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1373.32,"endTime":1376.32,"body":"The status quo like you were"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1376.32,"endTime":1380.3,"body":"talking about before, of like,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1376.32,"endTime":1380.3,"body":"what we give attention to, what"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1380.3,"endTime":1383.3,"body":"we don't give attention to that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1380.3,"endTime":1383.3,"body":"idea of playing small, as it"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1383.3,"endTime":1387.38,"body":"were, right? I struggle with the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1383.3,"endTime":1387.38,"body":"whole playing small and playing"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1387.38,"endTime":1390.2,"body":"full out, because, like that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1387.38,"endTime":1390.2,"body":"often gets tied up in, like, the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1390.2,"endTime":1394.16,"body":"hustle culture, sort of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1390.2,"endTime":1394.16,"body":"thinking. But our nervous system"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1394.16,"endTime":1401.5,"body":"actually goes Danger Danger,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1394.16,"endTime":1401.5,"body":"because we sense the potential"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1401.5,"endTime":1406.0,"body":"of being left to the wolves,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1401.5,"endTime":1406.0,"body":"right? If we get kicked out of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1406.0,"endTime":1409.78,"body":"the group, we will be eaten,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1406.0,"endTime":1409.78,"body":"whereas, if we stay in the group"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1409.84,"endTime":1412.48,"body":"and we don't ruffle the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1409.84,"endTime":1412.48,"body":"feathers, we keep everything"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1412.48,"endTime":1419.98,"body":"okay, then we are stay, at least"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1412.48,"endTime":1419.98,"body":"physically, say, even though, or"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1420.16,"endTime":1422.82,"body":"you know, as we talked about"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1420.16,"endTime":1422.82,"body":"that, that's also an illusion"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1422.82,"endTime":1428.4,"body":"because all of the other things."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1422.82,"endTime":1428.4,"body":"And so to do that nervous system"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1428.4,"endTime":1432.6,"body":"work as an adult, because that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1428.4,"endTime":1432.6,"body":"gets conditioned early on."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1432.6,"endTime":1435.66,"body":"That's early childhood"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1432.6,"endTime":1435.66,"body":"conditioning, right? So to do"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1435.66,"endTime":1441.62,"body":"that as an adult, to be able to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1435.66,"endTime":1441.62,"body":"recognize what's true, and that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1441.62,"endTime":1446.06,"body":"what we really need is belonging"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1441.62,"endTime":1446.06,"body":"to be whole, rather than fitting"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1446.06,"endTime":1448.76,"body":"in, that that's actually eating"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1446.06,"endTime":1448.76,"body":"away at ourselves and not"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1448.76,"endTime":1452.84,"body":"tending I mean, and I literally"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1448.76,"endTime":1452.84,"body":"mean eating away at ourselves"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1452.84,"endTime":1457.52,"body":"because it feeds addiction, and"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1452.84,"endTime":1457.52,"body":"it it creates autoimmune"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1457.52,"endTime":1462.7,"body":"disorders, and it does All of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1457.52,"endTime":1462.7,"body":"this havoc on our bodies, and of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1462.7,"endTime":1466.66,"body":"course, the more you have to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1462.7,"endTime":1466.66,"body":"contort yourself and stifle"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1466.66,"endTime":1471.22,"body":"yourself, the more it's going to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1466.66,"endTime":1471.22,"body":"harm your body. So I'm glad that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1471.22,"endTime":1473.92,"body":"you brought that forward of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1471.22,"endTime":1473.92,"body":"doing that work, because I think"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1473.98,"endTime":1476.62,"body":"that I'm not trained in that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1473.98,"endTime":1476.62,"body":"sort of thing, but it's"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1476.62,"endTime":1479.56,"body":"something I hold space for,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1476.62,"endTime":1479.56,"body":"because I recognize that it's so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1479.56,"endTime":1484.86,"body":"important in order for us to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1479.56,"endTime":1484.86,"body":"create change from the inside"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1484.86,"endTime":1487.62,"body":"out, because that's the only way"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1484.86,"endTime":1487.62,"body":"we really can do it."},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1488.16,"endTime":1491.135,"body":"Yeah, and Carmen"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1488.16,"endTime":1491.135,"body":"Spanola, if you're familiar with"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1491.196,"endTime":1494.961,"body":"her work, talks about systems of"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1491.196,"endTime":1494.961,"body":"collapse, you would love her."},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1495.022,"endTime":1498.544,"body":"She's incredible. If you don't"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1495.022,"endTime":1498.544,"body":"have access to a therapist,"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1498.604,"endTime":1502.552,"body":"Carmen Spanola has a membership."},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1498.604,"endTime":1502.552,"body":"In it, you can get access to the"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1502.612,"endTime":1506.074,"body":"Safe and Sound protocol so"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1502.612,"endTime":1506.074,"body":"you're able to benefit from it"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1506.134,"endTime":1509.9,"body":"without having to jump through"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1506.134,"endTime":1509.9,"body":"the hoops of healthcare system."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1509.9,"endTime":1512.162,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1509.9,"endTime":1512.162,"body":"that's key, and that's going to"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1512.223,"endTime":1516.075,"body":"be key, most likely. So, yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1512.223,"endTime":1516.075,"body":"will absolutely. I'll put that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1516.136,"endTime":1520.6,"body":"in the bonus episode show notes,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1516.136,"endTime":1520.6,"body":"because clearly we have a bonus episode."},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1521.98,"endTime":1524.32,"body":"I mean, that was for"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1521.98,"endTime":1524.32,"body":"it, it was it was spontaneous."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1524.32,"endTime":1527.296,"body":"It was"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1524.32,"endTime":1527.296,"body":"spontaneous. But I appreciate"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1527.379,"endTime":1531.762,"body":"the question and that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1527.379,"endTime":1531.762,"body":"reflection. That's the power of"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1531.845,"endTime":1537.22,"body":"asking questions. Anywhere else"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1531.845,"endTime":1537.22,"body":"you think we should go right now?"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1537.22,"endTime":1540.446,"body":"I do feel like you"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1537.22,"endTime":1540.446,"body":"and I could sit for like a half"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1540.511,"endTime":1544.19,"body":"of a day and like not touch the"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1540.511,"endTime":1544.19,"body":"tip of the iceberg. So of"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1544.254,"endTime":1547.74,"body":"course, we should just call it"},{"speaker":"Cher Hale","startTime":1544.254,"endTime":1547.74,"body":"yes back in the future."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1547.74,"endTime":1551.22,"body":"I agree. I"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1547.74,"endTime":1551.22,"body":"agree. I love it. Thank you so much."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1551.22,"endTime":1555.123,"body":"Thank you so much for listening."},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1551.22,"endTime":1555.123,"body":"I really appreciate you being"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1555.185,"endTime":1558.9,"body":"here. And please click that"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1555.185,"endTime":1558.9,"body":"subscribe button if you haven't"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1558.963,"endTime":1562.803,"body":"already, so that you make sure"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1558.963,"endTime":1562.803,"body":"that you are notified when the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1562.866,"endTime":1566.894,"body":"next episode airs, and check out"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1562.866,"endTime":1566.894,"body":"the show notes in it, there are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1566.957,"endTime":1570.042,"body":"some great links, including"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1566.957,"endTime":1570.042,"body":"signing up for a free"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1570.105,"endTime":1573.693,"body":"exploration call if you are"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1570.105,"endTime":1573.693,"body":"looking for coaching support,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1573.756,"endTime":1577.47,"body":"and signing up for my email"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1573.756,"endTime":1577.47,"body":"newsletter. That is a great way"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1577.533,"endTime":1581.625,"body":"to stay in touch and stay in the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1577.533,"endTime":1581.625,"body":"know of what's going on with the"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1581.688,"endTime":1585.402,"body":"podcast and with events offers"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1581.688,"endTime":1585.402,"body":"recommendations and musings,"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1585.465,"endTime":1589.557,"body":"insights, inspiration. I usually"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1585.465,"endTime":1589.557,"body":"send out emails about one to two"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1589.62,"endTime":1593.397,"body":"times a month, so not a ton, but"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1589.62,"endTime":1593.397,"body":"it's a great way to stay in"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1593.46,"endTime":1596.985,"body":"touch without relying on"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1593.46,"endTime":1596.985,"body":"algorithms. Again. Thank you so"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1597.048,"endTime":1600.7,"body":"much for being here, and I will"},{"speaker":"Valerie Friedlander","startTime":1597.048,"endTime":1600.7,"body":"talk to you all next time."}]}