`The Spiritual Path of Choice
There are many ways to experience times of transition in our lives. Some are like forks in the road where we need to make a choice to go left or right. Others are critical junctures on our journey like a crossroads. They can seem so fraught and karmic we might either see Hecate standing there asking for our destination so she can point us in the right direction or the mythical devil of the crossroads curious if we want to make a deal. Sometimes the transition is forced upon us and like a soldier we simply have to get on with the duty assigned to us. Other times we are presented with an either/or scenario: follow the wide road or take the road less travelled.
These are the choices which outline phases in our lives. Whether we know it or not in the moment, these are the choices which create the boundary between "my life before" and "my life after." It is normal to have several in any given lifetime. Marriage, the birth of a child, the first kiss, the first job, the one person who wasn't right for us, having sex for the first time, losing someone we love, breaking a bone...there are any number of moments which etch marks on the timeline of our lives saying "I was this person until this happened and then I was changed by this _______"
However, there are other types of choices. Within any phase of our life there are choices, not of where to go, as we've already chosen the road we are traveling, but of how and why. These choices are like standing on one side of a river. It's not a choice of whether or not to cross because you already know you need to get to the other side. The question is how to get there and why choose one way over the other.
The choices are not so much about logistics, but roles which will determine those logistics. There is the choice to be a Hero. To sacrifice the self for the sake of others and in the process expose personal flaws, weaknesses, and struggles which can become fatal. There is the choice to be a Victim. To see every challenge as a blow of fate which is overwhelming and insurmountable. There is the choice to be a Celebrity. To stand in the spotlight, deserved or otherwise, announcing to all around what you have done, what you are and what you will do, only some of which matches the facts while the act of announcing gradually takes over your every moment and action. There is the choice to be a Tyrant. To acquire power and use that power to create what you desire regardless of or even because of the consequences. There is the choice of the Rebel. To refuse to cross at all and instead go back the way you came, to run up or down the side of the river laughing because no river can make you do anything, to revel in the freedom of not choosing all the while desperately and actively denying the fact not choosing is in itself a choice.
And then there is the choice to be a Warrior. Often we think of warriors in the light of battle, violence, challenges and confrontation. We look for the warrior aspect in Heroes. The ones who, having sacrificed themselves for others and exposed their flaws, choose to learn from them and grow. Choose to work through them, become better, develop wisdom from their experiences and so become more than they were before. We look for the warrior aspect in our soldiers. Those who choose to fight for us, to be our protectors, but choose not to do so blindly. Those who think twice before doing the unthinkable, who say no when what they are commanded to do is wrong, those who do what is right when they are commanded to stop.
For warriors who stand at the river, knowing how they cross it and why is more important than that they cross it. We think of this in terms of choosing the best practice or the right action. In each situation there are variables such as our goals and needs, the needs of others, how our actions will affect others, our responsibilities outside of the situation, as well as short - medium - long term effects which will ripple out from these actions. While a soldier gives over the responsibility for all of this to others the minute they sign up, a hero automatically ignores themselves and does what they think is best in the short term, and tyrants ignore everything but what they want in any term, warriors seek clarity and understanding concerning all of it and from this create an informed and conscious choice.
Warriors look at the river and know what they are choosing is themselves, which may be the most frightening, difficult, joyous and deeply loving choice of all. They may choose not to cross the river at this time because turning back allows them to return to a place which has not yet healed, to retrieve something they have lost or discarded along the way, but cannot continue without. One of the lessons a warrior learns is they can do nothing, help no one, if they do not take care of themselves and what they need to thrive. If they are not thriving they are useless and a burden.
They may choose to walk alongside the river preparing for the crossing. While the way may be easy, the water shallow and the weather pleasant, they are acutely aware the crossing will be transformative. It is best to prepare, to be fully present and engaged in the process before entering into it. A warrior may know, upon reaching the river, they are ready, have been ready for quite some time and no waiting is necessary. They may pause and look back because there are times when the river they cross becomes a barrier others cannot. Where they are going might separate them from those they love, at least for a time. The challenge then is to honor not only the path ahead, but the sorrow of the now and the love which remains.
While it is easy to see these choices, these rivers confronting us, as battles, like fighting our dragons in order to follow our bliss, most times they are small, undramatic, mundane everyday things. There is no battle involved in choosing whether or not to recycle a can or hold open a door. We aren't fighting the good fight when we text someone back, when we are late to an appointment or we do the one last thing on the "To Do" list. We aren't facing a dragon when we get sucked into an argument, join a conversation, or say yes when we meant to say no. There are no flags waving when someone tells us gossip and we believe it unquestioningly or we assume something about a situation or a person and then act on the assumption.
Warriors aren't the ones who always win; they are the ones who can hear the voice of the river saying "Choose." They recognize each action they take is a choice. Each one is a crossing which defines them. Warriors get hurt and angry, but they choose to fight fair. They use "I" statements, seek positive resolutions, and are willing to compromise but not sacrifice. Warriors are those who listen not only for the message, but for the motivation which is the foundation for the message. When someone tells them a story, they try to neither believe the story nor disbelieve it. They accept it as a story and seek to understand why it is being told. Why is the story teller telling the story, in that way, to them? What is the goal they are trying to achieve? If the goal is to honor the truth and be validated, the warrior will stand witness. If it's to manipulate, the warrior will resist. If it's to hide a warrior will shine a bright light or perhaps just simply walk away. Sometimes the best response is simply not to respond at all.
It can seem like Warriors are the ones forced to make the hard choices. They repeatedly get stuck taking the high road, doing all the heavy lifting, taking on the work others refuse, and basically getting the short end of the stick. It can seem like they are constantly choosing the hard way instead of the easy way and everyone else is getting all the rewards. Yet part of each river a warrior confronts contains freedom and burden. The heavy lifting taken on in the crossing can be the means of freeing themselves from other's negativity and control. The high road can be the means by which they keep a situation from becoming a nuclear catastrophe. The short end of the stick might be more than enough when you look closely at the stick which is being offered. Who wants more of a stick made of Poison Oak or Sumac?
Each of these choices is not about whether they should be made. They are part of the path and we can't move forward until we make them. It's not about whether we should buy groceries or not. We should. It's about how we do so. Do we do it out of the perspective of a victim who has no other choice; do we do it as the hero sacrificing ourselves for the wellbeing of others, as a celebrity for the acclaim we'll receive in saving the day, or as a tyrant who will demand recompense from others for having done it at all? A warrior knows the need for groceries and seeks to find who can best acquire them without causing any of the above situations which may mean they do the buying, someone else buys them, or they get them another day and way. It's not an inconsequential choice nor is it consequential. It just is.
There is magic in listening to the river's voice, "Choose." Each time we ford the river we discover ourselves, are defined by our choices, creating wisdom and unfolding our potential. Each choice is spiritual participation in the injunction "Know Thyself" written on the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. When we are conscious about this, standing on the river bank as a warrior, choosing each time the best path forward, we prepare ourselves for those moments when we are faced with an opponent and required to go into battle. So when they arrive, we're ready.
Some of the most classic examples of this are the myths surrounding Cú Chulainn and his meetings with the Morrigan, goddess of warriors, right action, and relationship to the land. Time and time again he meets her at the crossroads or at the river and is confronted with his tendency to act as the Hero, the Celebrity and even the Tyrant. As he has the potential to be the greatest warrior of his age she challenges him to do the one thing which will fulfill his calling in this life...choose.
I have created a video meditation which explores these myths. I'll put a link to it in the podcast description so you can travel with Cú Chulainn as he attempts to cross the river and has his confrontations with The Morrigan.