Manifesting Your Best Life Rather Than a Role.

Discuss how spiritual practices should first be the means by which you live your path, not just a product you grind through for others.

Transcript

Manifesting Your Best Life Rather Than a Role

Something I get asked on a regular basis is: "I've learned to do _Insert Spiritual Practice Here_. Now what do I do with it to make a business/practice/career?" To which I respond with the appropriate version of "But how much of this are you being?"

Before any of us get started trying to provide a spiritual service out into the world we need to remember we each are a piece of divinity. We are a unique light which brings the universe into being. We are responsible for caring for our own light and this is our primary responsibility since we are the only ones who can, and this care doesn't need to be earned. We deserve it because we are breathing. Because we are here. And every single being is better for their being here with us. 

This can be a very difficult message for some people, especially women, to take in completely because the messaging we're steeped in tells us the contrary. Either we're marketed to in a way which makes us feel broken, less than, and inadequate, which is meant to encourage us to buy products which will make us whole. Or we are told our spiritual path is in part to take care of everyone and everything else because this is the way we will earn the right to be loved, cared for, and supported in our turn. Just one more means for us to purchase what is ours by right of our existence.

Unfortunately, spiritual community has taken in this message as well. It shows most readily when it comes to the message around Ego. All religions, spiritualities, and even philosophies teach us to be careful of having too much ego, to step out of our ego, to make sure we aren't being ruled by ego or behave in an egotistical manner. These messages have come to be taught as universal wisdom for all human beings regardless of situation or context.

But context very much matters in this case, as in so many things. These wisdom teachings which have come down to us were never intended for a general audience. Most people who would have had access to such writings, teachers, and teachings would have been exclusively empowered males of some level of privilege. They would have been land or business owners, educated elites, political or ruling class families or those with enough power to have gained access to these arenas. From Hinduism to Buddhism, Islam to Judaism, ancient Greeks to Romans, these lessons were aimed at those who tended to overuse or abuse power. Those who were more likely to forget they were/are their brother's keeper, and they are meant to support their community by being of and a part of it, not above or beyond it. Hence the injunction to step out of ego and into service.

Which, as a side note, is why the teachings of Jesus were so very radical in their day.  He included the poor, women, slaves, minorities, criminals, and those thought to be beneath notice in his audience.  He was one of the few in oral or written history who truly taught to anyone and treated them as equal.

Spiritual teachings about staying out of your ego and focusing on service as a means to walk a spiritual path were never meant for those who had no power or whose life was defined by service and servitude such as women, slaves, animals and others who were considered property.  How much more service can you do when your entire life is about doing for others?  How ironic is it to be told not to covet what others have when you are never allowed the freedom to covet anything other than freedom? 

Going back to Christianity, what if the sins enumerated in the Bible, the sins of being too much in your own ego, weren't universal, but instead were formulated to describe a masculine perspective?  If so then they would describe the negative aspects of men, not necessarily of women. In fact, if you look at the seven deadly sins you'll see, in general, male empowerment run amok, then look at the seven virtues which are meant to be their remedy and you can see women's service work made to seem saintly rather than a sacrifice of sovereignty.

I've found this concept fascinating for decades because it points to something I have found in my work, that women don't tend towards the same sins as men, but are told they do and so work to redeem themselves from something they aren't doing.

I think Dr. Valerie Saiving describes it best in her article "The Human Situation: A Feminine View", Womanspirit Rising: A Feminist Reader in Religion:

"It is my contention that there are significant differences between masculine and feminine experience and that feminine experience reveals in a more emphatic fashion certain aspects of the human situation which are present but less obvious in the experience of men.  Contemporary theological doctrines of love have, I believe, been constructed primarily upon the basis of masculine experience and thus view the human situation from the male standpoint. Consequently, these doctrines do not provide an adequate interpretation of the situation of women — nor, for that matter, of men...

...The temptations of woman as woman are not the same as the temptations of man as man, and the specifically feminine forms of sin...have a quality which can never be encompassed by such terms as 'pride' and 'will to power.' They are better suggested by such terms as triviality, distractibility, and diffuseness; lack of an organizing center or focus, dependence on others for one's self-definition; tolerance at the expense of standards of excellence...In short, underdevelopment or negation of the self."

The most recent iteration of this in spiritual community is the commodification of spiritual gifts and practices.  I recently worked with a client who had just learned the basics of Reiki I & II and wanted to know what to do with them as a career.  I stopped for a moment and then said, "You know Reiki is a spiritual path, right?"  This confused the client because to her mind Reiki was a means to an end.  Like a car or a can opener, it is a tool to get a thing done.  I agreed Reiki can be used this way, just as a scalpel can be used by a medical practitioner.  However, I believe everyone would prefer the person wielding it was fully trained in their specific medical profession, not just in which end of the scalpel to hold against our skin.

Spiritual practices exist first and foremost for ourselves. They are meant to support, nurture and unfold our own divinity. Whether these practices are concerned with healing, manifesting, interconnecting with the world here and what's beyond it, or opening up to universal wisdom, they are a spiritual path which offers us a means to BE during this embodiment. Reiki is a spiritual path which teaches how we can be more fully integrated with the world at an energetic, emotional and spirit level. We can imbue everything we touch with its energy including our clothes, furniture, food, and even our phone therefore all connections are radiating positively. We can use it to open our awareness to the suchness of things all around us. It can help us pick the best fruit at the market, sense changes in the weather, know when it's best to reach out to someone or hold on until later and so much more. Some of the most ancient wisdom and practices were informed by use and affinity with what we now know as Reiki. 

If someone is living Reiki in this and even deeper ways, then the options for how to utilize Reiki to form a career become endless and any manifestation project in this direction flows with ease. Rather than being a scalpel to use, Reiki becomes a warm ocean supporting us in our life and our efforts.

Attempting to manifest spiritual practices as a mission, calling, or profession before we have fully mastered them or incorporated them into our lives is a bit like trying to be a Yoga teacher without knowing more than the individual poses. It's doable, but the experience for everyone is dissatisfying at best and it's highly unlikely we'll achieve our goals or even maintain an interest in yoga for very long.

While it's true we can come to know a thing best by teaching it, spiritual paths are like languages. We need to be fluent in them in order to hold space so others can learn and receive the benefits of our wisdom and talents. If we're struggling to find the right words, put things together the right way, or make ourselves understood, then we have little to no energy or focus to give to those who come for help.

But how can we know if we need to focus on ourselves or should heed a calling to provide service out in the world? Well, I find the easiest rule of thumb to follow is the airline mask rule. The crew reminds us "In the case of a sudden decrease in cabin pressure, a mask will descend in front of you. Please make sure to put your mask on first before attempting to help anyone who may be travelling with you." What they are putting in a positive light could be also stated this way "If you sacrifice yourself for the person you're with, you'll die. Not only does this mean you'll no longer be able to help them, you'll actually be a hindrance to the rest of us because you will be a corpse. You'll be in the way and others will be obstructed from helping because of your rotting hulk." (I sometimes wish they would pantomime this while we're waiting on the runway, but I have a sarcastic sense of humor which isn't always family friendly.)

What this means is, if you have incorporated your spiritual practice into your life in such a way that it feels natural to you and you can't see living without it, if the new spiritual path you're on is more than just a product being put out into the world, and you feel comfortable you can both take care of yourself and your own life while providing this service to others, then you've already put on your own mask. You're good to go. If not, then the path ahead starts, not with service, but with valuing yourself, nurturing your divinity through these new skills, and putting your own mask on by becoming fluent in them.