How to Know What You Don't Know Yet

Discussing various techniques for discovering what you don't know you don't know and what to do after.

Transcript

How to Know What You Don't Yet Know

It's easy to get stuck on and even overwhelmed by knowing we don't know what we don't know. Our discomfort with the unknown is deeply rooted in our biology since our main ability to protect ourselves is with our big brains. We are in effect smart monkeys with anxiety which have to watch out at all times for the tornado/tiger/asteroid which might be our end if we're not able to respond in time.

However, this is cranked up a notch by our current culture which values knowing things (not necessarily having wisdom), learning things (but only if we can be expert in them), and being able to control whatever the situation requires even to the detriment of ourselves and others. Better to come up with an answer than admit we don't know, to be the solution rather than admit there's no problem to actually solve, and find your niche where you can excel in a world which only values the niche if there is excellence to be had/envied/torn down.

And then move things up to screeching levels of pressure because the world is in a moment of crises on various levels from social to national to environmental while everyone is empowered to both scream an opinion about...everything...while doing absolutely nothing constructive about anything.

It would be nice if we could use all this pressure to make non-conflict diamonds out of coal, but instead what we end up with is an aversion to and avoidance of engaging with situations where we don't know what we don't know. We become afraid to try anything which doesn't have a guaranteed result, which might lead to failure (however that's measured), or could lead to us being judged by others. It's not that we necessarily work to stay safe and in our own lane. Too often when we get even a glimpse of a place where we don't know what we don't know, we move instinctively away and so never become conscious of the avoidance choice(s) or action(s) we took.

When people talk to me about their discomfort, frustration, or anxiety around a subject where they don't know what they don't know, they want to know how to remedy the discomfort, frustration or anxiety. My personal opinion is this is because of all the "inspiration-porn" we are served up at this point. We are given hundreds upon hundreds of messages of how we should just get over ourselves and force ourselves past whatever it is we're feeling. I mean *pshaw* with your fears, right? Just believe, take a leap of faith, try something new and it will all work out fine. You're better than whatever you're feeling and if you just try harder, push through, and persevere you'll succeed!

*Sidenote: this messaging is often used by narcissists and abusers to get us to do things we shouldn't do and then hook us into shame and blame because we did the "whatever it was" to ourselves of our own free will. But as this isn't the point of today's email, I'll leave this discussion for another time.

When people ask me what to do with their "negative" emotions around what they don't know, the solution I point people towards is not controlling or even treating the emotions they are having. They are valid, on point, and very helpful so should be welcomed. 

Instead, I point people towards a skillset they had when they were young, which is to adventure.   Like language, which is use it or lose it, our ability to adventure is something we develop all through our early childhood.  It gets set aside naturally as we enter into pre-puberty and start learning how to interconnect with others and so becomes a memory rather than a tool in our arsenal of life skills.

Primary school and then higher education may prompt us to use some of it, but any adventuring we do is required to be focused on finding a career, a job, or a profession which can support and define us.  It becomes a survival skill rather than a means to expand us in unknown ways.  We tend to lose the joy in it and learn all the anxiety, fear, and discomfort which comes with the dangerous unknown.

So, solving the discomfort around not knowing what you don't know starts with remembering how to adventure again, but also updating those skills for the life of an adult. Which can sound intimidating until you put it in terms of choosing what ice cream you want in your ice cream cone or sundae at Baskin Robbins.  How do you know if you'll like a flavor or a combination?  You do a little taste test to find out.  You don't have to have faith or belief or trust in someone or something, just ask for a small taste and then physically try it to see.  If yes, then great, if no, then fine. 

Adventuring is in part remembering life is not all or nothing.  That learning is not about being perfect, getting it right the first time, or forcing yourself to follow through on something once you've started.  It's also not passively just allowing what will happen to happen.  An adventure is not a movie you sit and watch, it's something you do.  The more you participate, the more you get out of it. And it's not a scripted, hermitically controlled, goal to be achieved.  As the song by 38 Special goes: 

Just hold on loosely
 But don't let go
 If you cling too tightly
 You're gonna lose control

There are three exercises I recommend to my students when they are trying to relearn their ability to adventure.

First:  Get out of your head and into the world.  

When I was young my dad and I would go on adventures on a whim.  We would get in the car and drive somewhere just to see what was there or we would be coming home after a trip and I would say "I've never been down this road before" or "I've never headed in the other direction" and so off we'd go.  Now, my dad was a milk man.  Yes, that kind of milk man. The one's who delivered door to door back when this was actually how you got your milk/eggs/cheese.  He knew every nook and cranny of over half the state.  So, any newness in the venture was basically mine.  However, he rarely if ever got tired of just seeing the world, from cows in the field to the new crop a farmer was growing to who was building or renovating a house over there and so on. 

Because of this I learned everything has a history and one which can be known from something other than a book. That each place is its own thing living its own life including buildings and cliffs. And there is plenty to discover in any city just by walking around instead of hurrying to a destination.

To know what you don't know, start by getting outside and walking around.  Pretty much any small to middle-sized city has some kind of historical guidebook or historical society pamphlet which will tell you a ton about where you live. I've enjoyed The Portland Red Guide by Michael Munk especially since I was living near quite a number of the mentioned buildings at the time. Also, Portland Hill Walks: 24 Explorations in Parks and Neighborhoods by Laura Foster which gives you details about the history of absolutely every historical house, street, and stairway you're walking by or on so you can be immersed more fully in the life which is manifesting all around you in the moment.  *Be careful to look where you're walking because reading and walking in public is just as dangerous as texting for some reason. :)*

Walk around your neighborhood if you've never done it before.  Find out what is there.  I live in an area where entire neighborhoods are tucked away on small private streets because they are million-dollar homes with river views and access. It's fun to find these hidden gems.  In your area there may be small parks, greenways, bike trails, art, and much more you didn't know you didn't know.  Until you adventure out...and then you do.

Second:  Follow the Breadcrumbs

People often ask me how I know what I know.  Often, it's because I let myself go down one more rabbit hole to see what was there.  If I'm confronted with something I know nothing about, but I feel I should, maybe something I didn't even know existed until two seconds ago, I start an adventure.

Most of the adventures look like this:

*Wikipedia - if there's an article there then I skim through it to see what it's talking about, stopping to read things I find interesting. I might actually read the entire thing, but this is like the intro. It tells me an outline of the basics.

*Wikipedia Sources - at the bottom of each Wikipedia article are usually notes which cite where the author(s) got their information. There might also be a "To learn more" book list. I start rooting through there to find things which give me more info. I can look them up on Amazon, the Library, or Goodreads. Often, I look the books up on Amazon and if I decide I want to read them I start looking at the different Libraries I have access to and have them sent to me.

*Google - You have to sort through things here and basically I ignore most of what I'm given if it's from a random person's blog (sorry random people), a business basically advertising their product, or some organization with an agenda. I want info and not propaganda. But there's plenty of info to be had and sometimes these websites and articles lead to more books, resources, journals and so on. Even better when they are all pointing you towards the same resource, so you've got a bit of confirmation this is where you want to go.

*Google Scholar - If you want to dig deep on a thing, this is where the experts publish their work and where others are commenting on the work. It's not uncommon for articles there to be behind a paywall, but Libraries subscribe to these articles and provide access. So, if you want to read an article you can go to your Library and ask if they can give you access or often they provide links on their websites so you can sign in and read it directly through them.

What I don't do is just start with Google or YouTube. Google is full of everything, much of which is not useful or can lead you in the wrong direction. As for YouTube I find it valuable for adventuring only if you're wanting to learn a DIY thing such as how to fix your dryer or make a miniature couch for your dollhouse.

The Third exercise I recommend to my clients is: Get into the Akashics

If what you don't know you don't know is about you personally or a situation you're connected to, then the easiest way to start your adventure is in your Akashic room. Each item, piece of furniture, window and wall color is about and for you. Your room is a full representation of your life as it exists in this moment and everything connected to it. 

I have my students start by entering the room, then immediately turning left. Whatever is there, they are to examine it, not to make meaning, to do a quick survey, or try to wrap their mind around it. Instead, they are to explore it with all of their senses. Sit on the furniture, touch objects, lay down on the bed, listen to the fire in the fireplace and so on. The message, complex meaning, context and possibilities in each item or setting will be imparted by their interactions so the more they do, the more they get.

Since the point is you don't know what you don't know, your brain needs to go into observe and experience mode rather than trying to control things. Like a scientist or an explorer, be open to what is there rather than having expectations or assumptions.

If you want to learn more about the universe beyond you, then there are a multitude of options. You can go to the far door of your room and ask to explore somewhere new. You might end up in the hedge maze, on the beach next to the lake, somewhere in the Akashic City, or in a temple on the side of a mountain. These spaces aren't specifically for you nor are they a lesson, but a means by which you can adventure to find out what you don't know you don't know, which ends up being both about aspects of the universe, but also about yourself. Because any adventure unfolds more of us as we experience and participate in them.

You can also go to the Temple of Life where examples of practically everything are available much like the Smithsonian. Or you can go to your own Temple and talk with the beings who meet you there. You can go through the Akashic Library and out into the Akashic City to explore or ask to be taken to the home of your primary Totem where you'll see behind the curtain to how they live when not embodied.

-----

Engaging in any or all of these things not only allows you to know what you don't know while pointing you towards how you can begin to know more, but it reminds you how to add this type of adventuring into your life from the macro to the micro. Once you've reacquired this skill, realizing you don't know something is no longer overwhelming or somewhere you get stuck. It's just a sign along the way saying, "Adventure ahead, next right 2 miles."