Episode 212 - The Right Side of 40 - Your Best Years Start Now - Dr. Deborah Heiser

Men Rising From Divorce - A Rising Phoenix Podcast

Men Rising From Divorce - A Rising Phoenix Podcast
Episode 212 - The Right Side of 40 - Your Best Years Start Now - Dr. Deborah Heiser
Feb 17, 2026 Episode 212
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"I’m 40+, divorced, and starting over. Is this it?"

If you have asked yourself that question, this episode is your answer. Society tells us that midlife is a decline—an "inverted V" where our physical and mental abilities peak and then drop off. But Developmental Psychologist Dr. Deborah Heiser says the science proves otherwise.

In this episode, Dr. Heiser argues that while our physical graph may flatten, our emotional trajectory actually skyrockets as we age. We discuss why the "Midlife Crisis" is actually a "Midlife Awakening"—a time when we finally have the bandwidth to stop checking society's boxes and start building our own legacy.

If you feel like you’ve lost your identity along with your marriage, this conversation will show you how to find a new one that is stronger, deeper, and more resilient than the one you left behind.

In this episode, we cover:

  • The "Right Side of 40": Why we actually get happier and more confident as we age.
  • Success vs. Significance: Moving from "Extrinsic" validation (titles, money) to "Intrinsic" purpose (impact, connection).
  • Mentorship as Medicine: How giving back—even in small ways—cures the feeling of irrelevance and loneliness.
  • The "Legacy Tree": A new way to visualize your impact on the world, separate from your job or marital status.
  • The Gender Trap: A candid look at how rigid roles for "Mom" and "Dad" set marriages up for friction, and how to break that cycle in your next chapter.

Guest Bio: Dr. Deborah Heiser is an Applied Developmental Psychologist, a TEDx speaker, and the author of The Mentorship Edge. She is the founder of The Mentor Project and currently leads "My Legacy Tree," helping individuals track the impact they make on the world.

Resources:

  • Website: DeborahHeiser.com 
  • Book: The Mentorship Edge (Available on Amazon) 

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Episode Artwork Episode 212 - The Right Side of 40 - Your Best Years Start Now - Dr. Deborah Heiser 37:08 Episode Artwork Episode 211 - Just Love Yourself? - Solo 17:49 Episode Artwork Episode 210 - Dating Chronicles - Part 4 - Solo 22:10 Episode Artwork Episode 209 - Dating Chronicles - Part 3 - Solo 30:54 Episode Artwork Episode 208 - Dating Chronicles - Part 2 - Solo 29:48 Episode Artwork Episode 207 - Dating Chronicles - Part 1 - Solo 27:42 Episode Artwork Episode 206 - Modern Dating is Broken? - Dr. Greg Matos 51:58 Episode Artwork Episode 205 - Does It Matter What She Thinks? - Solo 16:44 Episode Artwork Episode 204 - Why You Stay Stuck: Moving Divorce Trauma Out of the Body - Greg Vorst and Michael Nolan 58:16 Episode Artwork Episode 203 - 5th Anniversary Special Roundtable - From The Beginning To The Present 1:42:13 Episode Artwork Episode 202 - The Truth About Healthy Masculinity - Professor Neil Shyminsky 1:05:23 Episode Artwork Episode 201 - When Good Memories Hurt - Solo 25:58 Episode Artwork Episode 200 - High-Conflict Co-Parent & Parental Alienation - Author Lisa Johnson 1:08:04 Episode Artwork Episode 199 - There Are No Shortcuts - Solo 30:19 Episode Artwork Episode 198 - Managing Depression and Anxiety - Noah May 27:34 Episode Artwork Episode 197 - Don't Go It Alone - Solo 27:45 Episode Artwork Episode 196 - Navigating Custody - Attorney Kirk Stange 59:00 Episode Artwork Episode 195 - Victims Never Heal - Solo 29:12 Episode Artwork Episode 194 - When Feelings Resurface - Solo 20:23 Episode Artwork Episode 193 - Masculinity Researcher - Steph McFarland 41:00 Episode Artwork Episode 192 - Still Healing, Still Forgiving - Solo 29:22 Episode Artwork Episode 191 - Healing From Trauma - Combat Veteran Cole Grace 38:03 Episode Artwork Episode 190 - Back At It - Solo 20:03 Episode Artwork Episode 189 - Break Time - Solo 9:01 Episode Artwork Episode 188 - Men’s Sexual Health - Matt Cook 26:25