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Speak For Change With Thomas Sage Pedersen
Welcome to Speak for Change with Thomas Sage Pedersen! Our mission is to inspire and promote positive and lasting change in our local & global communities.
Speak For Change With Thomas Sage Pedersen
Ep.149: Harnessing Curiosity: Kimberly Gomes on Creativity, Solo Travel, and Self-Discovery
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Curiosity isn't just a trait—it's a guiding force for a more fulfilling life. What if you could harness its power to transform your personal and creative endeavors? Join us as we sit down with the multi-talented Kimberly Gomes, who takes us through her inspiring evolution from a reserved child to a solo-traveling, poetry-writing, and world-exploring creative dynamo.
Kimberly's transformative graduation trip to Europe marks the beginning of her lifelong journey toward self-discovery and artistic expression. She opens up about her initial struggles with homesickness and how her father's solo travel adventures became a significant motivator for her independent pursuits.
Kimberly's story is about more than travel—it's a testament to the power of creativity as a tool for emotional processing and personal growth. She underscores the importance of viewing creativity as a personal necessity rather than a competitive endeavor.
Through her experiences, Kimberly illustrates the value of comparing oneself to past versions rather than others, thereby fostering a supportive community that celebrates collective success. In a heartfelt discussion, she delves into the impact of significant life changes, like ending a long-term relationship, and how such moments can lead to the discovery of new passions, such as music and songwriting.
Fear can paralyze, but it can also propel us toward greatness when managed with self-compassion. Kimberly shares valuable insights on navigating fear without settling, emphasizing the transformative realization of our agency over our lives. Practical advice on solo travel, particularly for women, underscores the importance of starting small and expanding one's comfort zone gradually.
The episode wraps up with a deep dive into astrology, where Kimberly shares how understanding her astrological chart has helped her balance pragmatism with trust. Tune in for a dose of inspiration, actionable tips, and a reminder that the journey of self-discovery is ongoing and ever-evolving.
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Hi, I'm your host, Thomas Sage Pedersen, and welcome to Speak for Change podcast, where we explore positive and lasting change in all areas of life. Our next guest is writer, creative and good friend kimberly gnomes kim. Welcome to speak for change podcast. Thank you, it's an honor to have you on I'm so excited to be here. This is totally the first time we've done this, yeah never, never had done this before Never had an interview that just got cut off because of a power outage. That didn't happen, not at all.
Speaker 2The last question but it was a great time.
Speaker 1It was a good time. I had fun.
Speaker 2I'm very excited to be back.
Speaker 1We are here again. So, kim Sorry, kim Sorry, that was my sound effect. Instead of oh oops, I mean oh God, this machine is amazing.
Speaker 2I'm excited about it, okay.
Speaker 1So we're just going to dive in here. Yeah, and you know your brand and your kind of life, it seems, has been really surrounded by creativity, adventure, being a badass, you know all the things. How did that happen? Have you always been an adventurous, creative badass who goes and looks for whales in a kayak and then paints watercolors the night before and puts poetry prompts up on their website?
Speaker 2Well, thank you for that hype message. That was nice.
Speaker 1And play guitar.
Speaker 2Yeah, I mean it definitely was a recent evolution, all those things I feel like I've always been not always, I think. When I started, when I was like 20, I got really interested in what the world was like beyond my immediate vicinity. So the horizon line was something that I felt a little vexed by and wondering like what else was out there and, um, felt like there was something else to explore. And when I first I saved up all my money during college and took myself on a graduation trip to Europe and that was when I first saw the world, um, from a more, a different cultural lens and also just saw that from traveling there's this accelerated growth that happens. That can kind of only happen when you're outside of your routine and you're outside of all your home comforts. Um, and once I saw that my world opened a lot, both of all different cultures and connections that happen there, but also just my inner world of seeing how fast things could expand. And then I kind of got obsessed with not obsessed, I got really drawn.
Speaker 1Immersed.
Speaker 2I love replacing the words obsessed with vexed by or immersed, immersed. So you'll probably hear a lot of synonyms. But yeah, I got really drawn to to finding different ways to explore that and I mean doing all the solo nature travel and that kind of stuff emerged from. I grew up camping and my dad was really nature-y and outdoors-y and he was the first one who showed me you could do it alone.
Speaker 2He was kind of the first person I saw traveling alone, and that was later in life, and I was like, hey, well, if he can do it, then I can do it If no one else is around to come. And I'm always down for an adventure. I love adventures, I like the light of my soul and, um, I always want to be doing them. And not everyone is available to do them. So just because people aren't free doesn't mean I don't want to go. So it kind of started. He planted the seed of it's possible and I just started. You know, the more you do it, the easier it gets. And and the creativity stuff has always been a thread, you know.
Speaker 1I.
Speaker 2I was a quiet kid and needed a lot of outlets just to feel like I had a voice, because I wasn't using my audio, my audible voice, very much. So, as a super quiet preteen, I took to poetry and drawing just as an outlet. And then, once I found my voice more, it just kind of I realized like, oh, this is kind of where I fear more at home in flow is with creativity. So I just kept following it and then it's like a little breadcrumb, you know yeah once you start one, you're like, oh, what's over there, what's over there?
Speaker 2and then you just the world becomes this giant zigzagged road. That gets very interesting.
Speaker 1So it's so when you were 20, you just kind of just started on this path of incorporating more solo trips and like creative projects, more focus. I guess Was there any kind of like aha moment or gradual thing going up. What were you like that in that time period before you know, growing into that?
Speaker 2Before. I mean ironically. I had a really hard time traveling when I was young, like we had a sleepaway camp in sixth grade and there was a. There was a cluster of us who, uh, struggled to be away from home and we were pretty much crying the whole time and we had a support group yeah, oh, they had a support group all. They just put us all together and like just hang out here and cry together, wasn't I mean? We felt we just drew and like did art therapy.
Speaker 2So that's how it was for me traveling before, that's how it was I I had such a hard time being away from home yeah um, I felt this like deep cavern in my chest that I still have that same feeling and now I tap into it and use it in different ways. But it was when you're a kid. You don't know what that feeling is and you're like, oh, this feels horrible, I feel, you know, you just feel untethered from everything, and so back then I hated traveling and we didn't do a lot of, we just did camping growing up like we didn't do much like big travel.
Speaker 2So, yeah, um, yeah, it was. I guess it really was that first trip that just opened the door to what was possible and and I also just lived from a person, I think once certain things happened in my early 20s like I started to realize life was really finite. You know, I saw people's lives change.
Speaker 2Just one day everything was different you know, Um and so, as as I started seeing more of that happen, like people randomly dying or like people I loved, like you know, losing their sight, and like all these, it was just these random occurrences that made me realize we don't have all this time to just save everything to when you're 65 and go live out your dreams, you know right so I started more imagining like, well, what if?
Speaker 2what if my life wraps up in a couple years unexpectedly like what are some places that I really want to make sure I see? Or what are some things I really want to make sure I do? And the more, as the older I've gotten, the more that's a question I ask every year. Oh, that's cool and that's kind of how I guide. Like at the beginning of the year I'm like, all right, well, what's the thing that you really want to make sure happens this year?
Speaker 2yeah so last year was Patagonia and year before that it was like getting to music and playing music publicly, and so it becomes these bucket list things. I'm a big bucket lister, bucket lister yeah, that's a I.
Speaker 1I don't think I've ever heard that term. I'm a. I'm a bucket lister. I mean you got, you have goals right like.
Speaker 2So you have like things you want to do before you die yeah, and I just keep adding to I mean this point like I've done a lot of the ones that were on the list originally so now, it's just you keep adding to it oh you, just you like, finish your list and you're like well, I overachieved on that, what? A surprise. Maybe you didn't dream as big oh, there we go, yeah, I think I was just keeping it small.
Speaker 1I'm like, all right, well, we wrote a book, now let's go on a book tour, you know, get it published, like it's like that, it's like 2.0 yeah, oh, man, in in your, in your travels and your kind of growing experience, have you come across like obstacles or discomfort, and how did you manage that? If so, or did you just like it was just the whole comfortable, happy experience the whole time?
Speaker 2In terms of the creative stuff or travel stuff.
Speaker 1I think both yeah.
Speaker 2I think let's start with creativity. I think creatively. Yeah. I mean I started as a journalist and I never did any creative writing other than poetry. Didn't really imagine poetry would be anything I shared publicly. It was always just for myself.
Speaker 1Right.
Speaker 2So just coming to the idea that I was using the word I'm a writer or I'm a poet took years of like abandoning the self-criticism you know. So I think stepping away into more of a place of confidence was a gradual place, that there was a lot of struggles along the way there, you know, even just sharing your poetry, sharing your art, doing open mics, doing those kind of things, I was terrified, you know, and years having gradually gotten more comfortable, that confidence begins to bloom more. But also there's just a ton of rejection.
Speaker 2In writing in the writing world as you get more serious with it, and that's something I continue to face all the time. You know, I get like, if I'm really going at it, like it's easy to rack up 100 rejections a year. And there's a joke like the MFA folks would say of like, oh, if you're not getting 100 rejections, you're not really trying. You know, I'm like that is a little masochistic but something we put ourselves through. But so to I mean, constantly get rejections for a project you put your heart and soul in and you keep getting no's, like that will really test a lot of things within you and bring up a lot of self-doubt and have to find all these creative ways how to keep going, you know, without giving up, because so many people just give up on a draft of a book because they keep getting no's and it's like all right, well, what's the next move, you know.
Speaker 2And so I'd say rejection is rejection and confidence is one that was big in the creativity world, um, and I think in the travels, like more of my own personal exploration, of of kind of being drawn to traveling, and some people necessarily are like why, why are you so into it? Like, why do you keep doing?
Speaker 1it.
Speaker 2I don't know why not, but I think um. I think one of the challenges was just um I had to leave.
Speaker 2I mean, I had to leave a whole giant relationship because I was drawn to this off the beaten path world. You know that I was drawn to this off the beaten path world. You know that I was in for like 10 years and and so you, in a lot of ways, that relationship was a microcosm of like the shape I thought I was supposed to fit in as a woman and as a person who, what society tells you to track towards in your late twenties, you know, and so that was a big struggle and something to work through, of embracing that my path is looks different than other people's yeah you know, um, as a 36 year old woman and solo, and have a beautiful, enriching life of relationships of all different kinds, um, but there's there's no house with a white picket fence, there's no kids, you know.
Speaker 2There's no dog, there's no husband and these things that, like my um, I just grew up thinking I was supposed to have.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2And and one day I'm sure all those things will unfold. But, like, getting to the place where you, for me, I could fully embrace my road and my story and not try and squeeze into it you know, not trying to force anything to go a certain way was a huge process, yeah. But once I finally got to a place of feeling acceptance of it and there's just, there's just so much like self-loving beauty that overflows from a place of just accepting that your road is a zigzag in it. And it's because, like because I follow my curiosity Really, the last 10 years of my life was finally learning how to give myself permission to follow curiosity, and it takes you in places you don't expect, which is why it doesn't look how everyone else's does, because I don't necessarily know where it's going.
Speaker 1A few years from now.
Speaker 2I don't plan it out, it's just like well, I'm really called to this. And then new opportunities unfold from that and now I could never imagine my life living any other way. I wouldn't want to live any other way because it's way more interesting this way and I just constantly get to evolve and grow in a different way and have struggles along the way. It's the whole human experience I feel like, lived very viscerally, is what I try for, you know.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2And, um, yeah, sometimes that's easy and smooth and sometimes it's not, but it's it's life full.
Speaker 1When you, when you're talking about in the creative sector and we'll, we'll touch on some, touch on some things in your adventure life, which is amazing, you know, but with self-criticism, like before you moved on. How did you, what are some strategies that you came up with with managing self-criticism? Because I think a lot of creatives go through self-criticism, and probably you still do, but um totally like what?
Speaker 2what is something that has helped you kind of move from that to being more confident in what you're doing yeah, one phrase that I try and circle back to a lot is like focusing on the gain versus the gap.
Discovering Self Through Curiosity
Speaker 2So they talk about the gap and the gain and, um, you're always going to be better than yourself, like a year or two ago, and so I think that's one thing I keep in mind of just remembering where I was and where I'm at that like, of course, there's always going to be, regardless of your medium, there's always going to be people who are like light years better than you, and removing the comparison is really it's not easy to do, but it's so important to keep going. So for me, I'm not interested in racing or competing against any other writer, any other folks Like I. I cheer and admire for the folks from like, oh damn, it's happening, like it's working for you. You got the book published, hell yeah. But not comparing myself to that, because all I'm trying to compare to is that I'm getting better. You know I can look at my last draft from a couple of years ago.
Speaker 2I'm like, oh, it's kind of, it's kind of crap. But I look at that as a good sign, because then it's like, oh, my present day self like has we've grown a lot you know. So I look at the gain in that sense and then also just remembering why I do it. You know, I don't create because I'm trying to get to a certain place, like I have goals that would be great and I would love to see happen, but I really just create because I need to, just as much as I need to exercise.
Speaker 2You know, like I need it like an exhale, because it's how I process feelings and I feel a lot. So I need different mediums for different things and um and so from that it's it makes it easier to create and keep going, cause it's I, when I'm if I am ever in the place where I'm in this editor's mind, where I'm feeling a little more like self-critical, I try and turn it off with. I tell myself, no one else is going to see this. You're just going to write right now for yourself, the next 20 minutes. This is just for you. We're never going to publish this, you're never going to show it to anyone. Go. And then I do a free write and from that all that's usually what births my my most honest yeah, stuff that I do end up turning into something and I will end up sharing it. But there's always a choice that I have of like you don't have to share this with anyone.
Speaker 2This is really just for you. So I think starting from the place of this is, for me, anything else after there is a bonus. And also just surrounding yourself with like a good hype squad, like I'm all about shine theory of like you give yourself, you give your friends shine on what they're doing and you and receiving that is just as important. You know, surrounding myself, I have amazing friends. Yeah, you're a big part of this. Honestly, and having your friends who, who help lift you when you're in your moments of doubt, it's so easy for us to see all the ways things could go wrong and and to have friends and be also the friend who's like do you see the door here? You could do, you know, you could do this like reminding each other how amazing we are, because it's hard to remind that to yourself all the time, you know.
Speaker 1Man, I feel that and you are a great friend too, I think a lot of people, I don't know, I can't speak for people, but I guess for me, when I've had the shift changes you're talking about coming from a big relationship and kind of moving into a different life and kind of realizing that you weren't the kind of conventional shape that you thought you had to be right and fitting into that mold, when you really weren't in that mold. You know, I'm wondering what, what kind of got you there into that awareness, like what awareness to be able to make action on that front, because I know for me like a lot of discomfort and a lot of things happened for me to actually get out and make change, and what really kind of propelled you to make those changes that you felt were necessary.
Speaker 2Like after the shifts.
Speaker 1Well, like, like, for instance, like getting out of a relationship with humongous deal a nine-year relationship is a big thing, you know. And like what propelled you to like start doing your thing, like going on your path from that, you know yeah, I mean it.
Speaker 2In the beginning it was just like bit by bit just trying to get my bearings again.
Speaker 2And so the question that really helped me do that was I just was, I would sit with myself and just ask like, who, who do you want to be two years out from now? Yeah, and for me, you know, I had to do so much self-discovery over the last six years because so much of my identity was tied to another person for all of my formative years and I didn't really realize the impact of that until I was out of it and I'm like, wow, I have so much to discover and learn about myself. And um, so asking that question was interesting of just like, what is what hobbies does she do?
Speaker 2like yeah what would she be proud of herself for doing? And that's how music came into the fold.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2And because the first answer that came out was well, I'd want to play guitar, and I didn't know how to play any music and I didn't really think I was particularly musically equipped you know, but I was like, well, I have a guitar from when I was like 16 that my uncle gave me and I was just like give it a go.
Speaker 2So I started taking lessons and I felt like I was not great, but slowly like I learned four chords and I could make a song together. And then I was like, oh well, what would it be like if I put one of my poems to these these melodies.
Speaker 2And then that's how I started songwriting and, um, so in the beginning, yeah, it was just asking myself, like who do I want to become? And then, from that question, it's like that's when this little curiosity part gets to come out and it's like, oh well, this is what I'm curious about. It's not necessarily like I wasn't thinking I'm going to be a musician, that's towards the world or anything. It was just like I'm curious about music. Okay, we're going anything. It was just like I'm curious about music, okay, we're gonna follow that path. And then it's similar link. Another one was like I was really, uh, vexed by. I was really vexed by van life and I got obsessed with this.
Speaker 2Okay, I was obsessed. I was obsessed with this world. I like wrote a whole novel about a woman on the road in her van and um, I was, I was following all these women on social media before it was like hip to do van life. This was like way earlier, and on these YouTube rabbit holes of like converting your car and um, and so I was like, well, that's a strong curiosity. It seems like we got to follow that. So then I followed that and I, you know, converted my SUV and lived out of it for three months Cause because I was, just because I needed to see what this curiosity was about. I look at the curiosity as an indicator of what is this little soul calls, and then it's just my responsibility to follow them and figure out how to follow them, even if they don't necessarily make logical sense all the time to anyone else. I'm just like I got to do it.
Speaker 1It's Colin I don't know, I'm just like I got to do it. It's Colin, I don't know. Yeah, what is? I'm curious, cause I'm curious.
Embracing Curiosity and Overcoming Fear
Speaker 2Uh, what is? What is curiosity to you? Um, I I feel like the curiosity is like there's something that is is untapped in terms of my experience with it, so I haven't experienced it fully in a particular way. That's calling me, and I want to learn how. It's actually usually paired with learning, like I usually have to learn something, whether it's a skill or some courage or something, to get myself to the place to do it. So there's always this talk about gap and gain. You know, there's always a gap that I see of like where I'm at and where I know there's always a gap that I see of like where I'm at and where I I think there's a heightened version of me that could be yeah if I follow this curiosity, um, and so that is becomes this guide to to follow whatever it is, and the journey is always the best part.
Speaker 2You know, I've one thing I have learned and thankfully I'm glad I've learned this by now is before I always be like, okay, well, when I get like this byline and this newspaper, or when, like I go on this trip, like all these things of when I get this, I'm going to feel it's going to be fulfilled, like I'm going to have all the pieces together.
Speaker 2But I've since learned, like you, just it's all an illusion, you know, like the mountain is like sand and you'll just you'll find a new mountain once you're at the top of it yeah and so since learned that it's like okay, now I know the juice is really in the process and that's where, like so much life and expansion and new connections, you meet so many good people when you, when you are, explore new routes, you know yeah especially creatively.
Speaker 2Like doing more creative stuff has led me to more creative people who live such interesting lives and and when we get to collaborate and and I think, like the collaboration and connection is the best part of life, because I feel like community is is really what life's all about um, so when we can do all this kind of work together, I mean that's magic you know it's so fun, like it's just so fun so what I guess?
Speaker 1uh, have you always been a curious person or is this something? It sounds like it's been evolving? Your curiosity has been like through experience, but at the root of that, have you been kind of a curious person who follows their curiosity, or is that something that kind of came later on?
Speaker 2I think it was acted on later on.
Speaker 1Okay.
Speaker 2I think I've always been a very observant. I've always been like a good listener and like kind of in the backdrop and just observing things, and I think when you're in that position you can kind of connect dots in some ways.
Speaker 2Like you're seeing things and you're like, well, if this is like connected to this, know, you start just forming things in your mind. So I think I was always connecting dots just as a quiet person. But as I started just to see what agency like that, we have a lot of agency over our lives and then I started to realize that I could I could do more with that curiosity than just think about it.
Speaker 1And yeah, I mean, one of our shirts is stay curious right For speak for change. And curiosity is such a powerful like sensation, right, like it feels like I don't know, for me I have to. I tend to always want to like, uh, do the thing right. So it's like the curiosity is like the initial step and then like fall, actually acting on it.
Speaker 1I don't know if acting on it is just part of curiosity or if it's just like a two-step process, but you know, I think acting on it has been like a little it a lot more things come up, right, like you know you're talking about like rejection, even with writing and all these stuff, when you're acting on your curiosity. And I'm wondering what like propels you to act on your curiosity instead of just being like, oh, I'm curious, what, that is okay, whatever. Moving on, it seems like when you're curious about something, you go after it, like guitar right, like I I can't say how many people I've met who've been like I'm not musical, I'm not really this, and they they will not pick up a guitar. They may be curious about it, but they won't do it because they have this narrative in their head. It sounds like you had a similar narrative and I'm wondering like how did you overcome that?
Living Without Settling
Speaker 2I think it's. It's a lot of. In some ways it's driven by fear, but not necessarily, and I think how we usually think about fear. I think one of my biggest fears is having a life that's has uncapped potential or, yeah, I mean, one of my biggest fears is feeling like I'm settling in any capacity. I hate the feeling of settling it. Yeah, it'll drive me. It drives a lot of action for me and you know so. If I feel like in any aspect of my life, I'm starting to feel like not comfort is different from settling. You can be comfortable, but you can feel comfortable and you can deepen into something and you can have deeper connections and that can feel really easeful and good on the nervous system.
Speaker 2And it's different when you feel like you want more or you there is more, but you're you're settling for something, and so that's usually what drives the action part, because I can't let myself stay in that, because I just from the lens of like, if I'm, if something happens with my life in it and I don't live till I'm 65 or 75 and it goes a bit sooner, my life in it and I don't live till I'm 65 or 75 and it goes a bit sooner, I would be pissed if I was on my deathbed and there were things I really wanted to make happen or I wanted to explore and I didn't do it out of fear.
Speaker 2Yeah, you know that drives me nuts.
Speaker 1Same. I like this, um, the settling concept, right, this idea that settling is when you're, when you decide to I mean, I even think of, like the literal settlers right Like when you, when you settle somewhere where you've, like you've now committed to staying in this place, despite any kind of push or pull to move or to travel or to do anything right, you're like kind of blocking off that curiosity, so to speak, to be in one place and figure out what to do in that space, which is an interesting perspective, and I think a lot of our society kind of promotes that. A little bit like we a lot of.
Speaker 1I think a lot of people want that, you know. Yeah to, but I don't know. I don't think that's good, I think that that's uh. Settling is the enemy. That's my new book. Um, instead of comfort is the enemy.
Speaker 2Yeah, because of you, thank you um before that, I think that's a good sentence, you're like, I approve.
Speaker 1So yeah, I mean, that's wonderful. And I guess, before we move on to the question round, I kind of just want to give you a chance to, if any advice you can give, people who really want to look at your life right. And they're like, wow, she's like traveling to South America, all these places, and I swear every time I see her. She's like traveling to south america all these places and I swear every time I see her. She's like, you know, she's playing guitar for like open mics and shows and we're having poetry and talking about the book she's writing and you know, uh, like this morning you're out on the fucking ocean looking for whales. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2Like You're making me sound real cool.
Speaker 1You're the one who did it. You're the one who's doing this, you know, you know. You were in Tahoe last weekend with like an awesome friend or something, I don't know. That looks really cool, but you know what? What advice would you give someone who's just like man? I wish I could live this cool, adventurous life that Kim is living. Like this looks amazing. What do I do? Where do I even start?
Speaker 2I mean I would start with what, what you're curious about. Where's the curiosity point that you want to start from? So, whether that's an art form that you've always wanted to do, that you've wanted to do more of, start building that habit into your life, little bit by bit and not having much pressure around it Every week. Dabbling on the piano or learning a couple chords and following the fun, following the joy of it, all of our life is just, I feel like it's just meant to be a channel for joy and depth and all the things. But if you're following something from a playful perspective, you're going to want to do it more. So I would start with what you're curious about and then, from the curiosity, learning from a place of playfulness and joy.
Speaker 2And in the travel side, I mean I got a whole book of advice for women who, particularly women, are just people who are afraid to travel alone. Um, it's not for everyone, you know, and like if you can find a buddy that wants to go, even better. But for how I started with that was just dosing myself closer to bigger things. So I started with solo hikes and just got comfortable being alone in nature with no one around and like, okay, there's some edges there. Then I went to California road trips, did those alone, okay. Then I went to another States alone, then from there that's, and then after I traveled with some folks internationally, got my bearings a little bit, then I was like, okay, let's try one alone, but I, I would curate the experience where I knew I was going to be with people. So I would, you know, I'd do like a yoga, I would go around like along the coast in costa rica, where there's a bunch of yoga towns yeah and I would hit up the yoga towns, knowing I could meet people.
Speaker 2So you know, you could have certain experiences where you're going there alone but there are a bunch of people who will be there at a retreat or whatever. So I don't think we need to take these grand leaps where it's like I'm just going to catapult my nervous system into terror, but like dosing yourself up to it. And everything I do and have done has been from that perspective getting bit by bit, we get a little more comfortable, like the open mics. The poetry used to be terrified of it, but I found, you know, every time I went up, my heart got a little quieter, wasn't as loud in my ears, I could hear myself, you know, speak a little more confidently. And then same thing with the music.
Speaker 2You know, I still get nervous, of course, but it's like it gets easier every time you do it. And so I just look at it. Look at it. It's just like an, it's a numbers game, like the more you do, one thing you know, you get more comfortable. Your synapses build, you know, get that myelin going, and things get a little smoother, you know. So.
Speaker 1I love that. All right, so here we go for the question around.
Speaker 2I love that.
Speaker 1Sorry, that was just, I just had to do that perfect time.
Speaker 2Yeah, great use of that sound you're welcome.
Speaker 1You're welcome anytime.
Speaker 2I feel like I just entered a magical fairy we are in a magical fairyland now.
Speaker 1Uh, do you have any quotes that you live by or think of often?
Speaker 2Yes, One. It's in my house, I look at it as I do my dishes and it's, I think, the precursor to the start of the line is what if I fall and the part that I have is oh, but darling. What if you fly? And I have it on a shirt that I wear and I just love that because it's so easy for me particularly, it's so easy to imagine all things that can go wrong yeah, you know I'm like really skilled at that.
Speaker 2I've my south node in Virgo so I can find all the holes. But it's really asking that question and seeing that question it's. You allow yourself to dream for a little bit, and even just that one moment that you let yourself dream it's like dang, what if it could happen? And even if it was, if it doesn't, even you don't get. You allow yourself to dream for a little bit and even just that one moment that you let yourself dream it's like dang, what if it could happen? And even if it was, if it doesn't, even if you don't get there, there's a process along the way that is going to expand you, and so I think it's just so important to ask ourselves that question and to ask our friends that question, you know and be that vulnerable too.
Speaker 1You know, it's like I think it's easy to prepare for the worst, you know. And to kind of think that something's going to turn out bad. It's a lot harder to let yourself like feel that joy and excitement for something turning out.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1Like positive. What is something you believe that other people think is crazy?
Speaker 2um, that winter is better spent in south america or latin america, which, um, I don't think. I mean, I know plenty of my family and friends are like what you can do this again, you know. But, um, I love spending part of winter in the sun and I love that I can have found a way to make it part of my lifestyle and like all these flyer free, flyer points you can get, and there's so many systems you can hack, you know. So I feel like I'm I'm all about that and I know it's weird and I know like it's. Not many folks do it, but when you go out there, you meet the other people who also live the same way and then you, you have your little winter experience Winter birds.
Speaker 1Yeah, you have Christmas in the sun.
Speaker 2No, I don't do the whole winter because I can't afford that, but I just go away for one month.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2And one month is enough. I get a little sun, get out of that seasonal depression.
Speaker 1And you're like, I leave between December 7th and January 2nd.
Speaker 2My birthday. I will be there for your birthday. Of course I'm going to go in February. By that point, I will be there for your birthday. Of course I'm going to go in February. That seems like. By that point, I'll probably be like okay, this rain.
Speaker 1Isn't your birthday in February?
Speaker 2January.
Speaker 1January. Oh yeah, Good memory, it's late January. Hey now.
Speaker 2Hey now, now I'm going to be here for my birthday. I'm really excited about that, yeah.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2What new belief, behavior or habit has most improved your life? New belief or behavior? Oh yeah, that, um, resting is is just as important as productivity. Um, yeah, I, as someone who's just like super productive and as I've placed a lot of value on my identity, on my output, and it's something I've recognized in the last few years and I've been trying to check a little more because I think there's some room for a little more compassion there.
Speaker 2So, resting, having just like five days of like really solid rest a month where I intentionally kind of sync my productivity and my social life with my cycle and for all the women out there, reading the book in the flow was a great place to start for that, and it's changed my life really and I've tapped so much more into my feminine energy and my intuition during that time and, um, I just rest, you know, and I slow down, and it's so nice to have periods where you remember that you're a human being and like focusing on the being part yeah and then, when I come out of that rest, I just have a little more calibration where, um, I feel intentional about what I'm putting my energy towards.
Speaker 2And, yeah, I think I went on a sabbatical for a few months last year and, having that time to slow down, I realized like, oh man, I've been doing a lot but and I'm kind of stressed but'm this is all self-induced. So, paring down, simplifying and creating a lot of time for rest, um, in tandem with, you know, creating is is important.
Speaker 1Love that. When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do?
Speaker 2when you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do? I do a lot of walking in the mountains. Walking, oh, walking.
Speaker 1Just do some walking.
Finding Success Through Love and Movement
Speaker 2I really. I think for me, you know, being outside amidst no one, it's important for me to find a place where there's no people around and I just walk to tire my mind out. Really, I have a very active mind and I gotta get that little cyclone down to the ground. So if I tire her out, it works. And then that's step one. And then there's usually you know, sometimes I don't always have access to that so that's where the creativity comes. That's why I feel like I create so much, because if I'm feeling ungrounded or I'm feeling really emotionally full, singing is so helpful for me. It just taps into something that's just much more soul connected and I can't be in my head if I'm singing. So that's been really helpful. Dancing such a good therapy. I love dancing and I've learned to find ways to make sure I'm doing it every week um and also just from a therapeutic perspective.
Speaker 2I have my little playlist where I shake shit out, you know, and like move energy I and write, like dancing after I write is essential, I've learned yeah, and so learning like what I need, somatic practices are just essential. So pretty much it's all about moving for me, like finding ways where I'm moving my body so I'm less in my mind and then I can get more like a heart centered place, you know.
Speaker 1If you had to gift only one book to somebody, what would that book be?
Speaker 2Um, you know, I think before I I would say like maybe a self-help book or something like power Now. But that was. I'm going to say a different one for different reasons.
Speaker 1This is how you sneakily recommend two books in a sentence. Caveats.
Speaker 2I would normally recommend the Power Now by Eckhart Tolle, but this time around I'm going to recommend I think memoirs are one of the most beautiful ways to give access to different life experiences and give us more empathy for each other.
Speaker 2In self-help books I think you're going to reach different people at different times, but Javier Zamora's Solito is a beautiful memoir that I think a lot of people in the US should read, because I don't think we often hear about the immigrant experience in a super detailed way, and he wrote it from the perspective of him as a nine-year-old boy crossing the border twice and all the details that come with that, and I had never read a story that closely um of that journey and I think if we all had a little more closest to it, there'd just be a lot more empathy. And I think it's hard to look at immigration the same way um before and after that book, you know yeah, memoirs are crazy in general, Like right, you know, I've been reading them for writing you know, to just kind of get some ideas or something, and for one they're like super intimate.
Speaker 1Usually they're very like you know, you're just like in this person's life. You know, you feel like you're like in the room with these people. And then, secondly, you realize, like you know, maybe you should be a good person to people, because someday they may write a memoir and you're going to be a central cast member, everything's material and you're like oh man, I am glad I'm not that guy's brother, you know, like whatever you know, it's been actually really enlightening memoirs.
Speaker 1I need to read that one because it's someone. I'll buy that today because yeah it's good.
Speaker 2Yeah, Also ocean bongs. Now we're um Arthur. Briefly, gorgeous, beautiful.
Speaker 1Perfect, uh, what do you think of when you hear the word successful?
Speaker 2Um, you know, I feel like there. For me, there isn't like one person that I've seen that's like. This is what this?
Speaker 1is success.
Speaker 2This is what I'm reaching for and it's something that I've tried to find for a while. So I think I would say my grandma is someone who success in the sense of she always lived from a very heart-centered place, even when life was very hard, and, you know, I mean from a more easy place. She had my grandpa and her with like the pinnacle of love I had never seen.
Speaker 2There's still the bar of the way they would look each other when they talk and holding hands on the table all the time and know, hollering like honey and sweetheart all over the house. It's just adorable and so like they were so in love and to me like having a love-filled life in every aspect is is kind of successful. But I think what really why I would say that about her is, um, when she was 75 she got brutally attacked, um, and went blind and immobile and her whole life changed. And before that she was a world traveler, she was like ukulele club, I mean, she's very active and so. But even after that shift she had so many reasons to be angry, to be sad, to just shut down and, um, she still came from a place of love, you know, and she didn't even really harp on what happened as much as she could have. Like I would visit her and she would still find ways to crack jokes when they'd bring in her little medicine box or you know.
Navigating Fear and Self-Compassion
Speaker 2Or she'd still every day, every time I saw her talk about my grandpa and like she was just still coming from a place of love, even when she didn't have many reasons to, and I think that's successful, like when life, when you cannot be knocked down by life yeah is successful and you can still come from a place of love what advice would you give yourself 10 years ago? Poor 26 year old kim. Give her a big hug. You give yourself 10 years ago. Poor 26-year-old Kim. Give her a big hug. It's going to be all good they're like.
Speaker 1I do not trust that. I know you.
Speaker 2It's going to be great. I tell her to let go. Try not to fit in these shapes you know that aren't yours and um, and get comfortable following your intuition, cultivate your relationship with your intuition, cause it's going to be the roadmap for everything that's worthwhile, you know, and and yeah, essentially following my intuition and just having some more self-compassion along the way, I'd probably also say pick up the guitar, like maybe stop going to the bars as much and go to the open mics Very practical thing that I think it's just so healing.
Speaker 2Like while I'm on the subject, thing that I think is just so healing.
Speaker 1While I'm on the subject, maybe don't do that one thing. Don't go there Just that day. Don't do it. And you know that, guy A little four chord progression.
Speaker 2Instead I could write a song You're going to love it. You're going to love it.
Speaker 1They're just like who are you? What is something people often get wrong about you?
Speaker 2I think many people think, because I do all these solo trips, that I just have no fear when I go out there, and that is absolutely not true. I usually have like a month where I am pretty terrified and I have a whole so many rituals to help me get through those moments, and so I, you know, make all these extensive lists of like everything that could go wrong and then I map towards a solution for it. And that's how I get myself prepared to like go on a big trip alone and to feel confident that, no matter what happens, like I kind of have an idea what to do. So, just because you know, people are out like traveling, so it doesn't mean they're just doing it on a whim. Some of us are very pragmatically planning so we can feel comfortable.
Speaker 1Yeah, tim Ferriss, someone who I really admire, has this thing called fear setting, where it's like, instead of goal setting, he writes down all his fears and he tries to go after each of them.
Speaker 2It's a great idea.
Speaker 1Yeah, it's a whole thing. It reminded me a lot of that. He's a very meticulous dude. He has notebooks of his every. He's a fitness dude as well, so he just has all these notebooks about how to get into certain physiques, like each notebook is like his time of, like changing his body. He's just so crazy detail oriented.
Speaker 2Yeah, his book for our work week like very much changed my work life. Yeah, me too.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah. You should read Tools for Titans Anybody who. Some of these questions are from that. So if you could put anything you wanted on a billboard, what would it say?
Speaker 2Um, I think I would have it say there's a quote that I have in my, in my house, that I also think I would put in, and it's um pretty much the extent of what would you do if you knew you couldn't fail yeah um, and that one.
Speaker 2I think it's kind of the same thing as what would you fly, but I like asking that question to people. I had it on my dating app for a while, not because people engage with it, but just because I think this is a good thing for everyone to think about.
Speaker 1Everyone's like next. Hopefully that's something positive. Bye. What if you could have? Oh my.
Speaker 2God, next she's going to make me grow. Goddamn. But, yeah, that question. I just love asking that to myself. I look at it, it's on my mirror.
Speaker 1Yeah, and I think we should from that question.
Speaker 2I just love asking that to myself. I look at it, it's on my mirror. Yeah, um, and I think we should from that question, even just conversations you and I have had like there's been certain things I wouldn't have done because I was like, ah, that's probably not going to work out, but if, like, what would you do if you wouldn't fail? And then you get your intuition gets a little more chimed in, like, hey, I do this thing. Can we just try it a little bit?
Speaker 1Yeah. What does positive change in yourself and the world look like?
Speaker 2to you. I think positive change for me starts with more with like of having a very self-compassionate, warm connection with all these different aspects of myself. So I I really into parts work and internal family systems and the more I have access and self-understanding to like when I'm getting triggered by something, what part of me is that? You know what? How old is she Like? What memory is linked to that, that gives me so much more information to realize like, oh, it's not the person in front of me who's saying this thing that's triggering me, it's like 15 year old me, you know. And so if I can reconcile with those parts of myself, I can have way better relationships with whoever's in front of me, regardless of if it's at work or at life or talking about politics or whatever it is. So I think when we can be more compassionate within ourselves, we can be more compassionate with each other, and then there'd be so much less conflict and, you know, unnecessary harm if we can just come from that place within ourselves first, you know I love that.
Speaker 1all right, so here are the times for the two silly questions, but since the first one, we know that you know things about astrology we're going to go a little bit deeper in this category.
Speaker 2I love how your eyes are so serious.
Speaker 1So Kim what are? Your top three astrology signs and just anything you can remember about your chart.
Speaker 2Okay, top three of what mine are. I am Aquarius, sun, gemini Moon and Cancer Rising, and then my South nodes in Virgo and North nodes in Pisces.
Speaker 1So can you tell me about what that means to you? What that means to me, like which ones I identify with or like yeah, like in general, I think astrology, when done right or done with the individual, can actually help us understand ourselves better.
Speaker 2Right yeah.
Speaker 1So does any of those elements help you understand yourself better?
Speaker 2I think the north and south node are big things. I use a lot. Use a lot, um, my South nodes in Virgo, which for me means like I've came to this world with some strengths and routine and a little more organization and that's helped me a lot in my professional life. Um, but it also holds me back in some ways because I can get really wrapped up in in the pragmatism. So the North node is definitely my edge and it's something I've been actively trying to lean more into this year, which is leading us to trust, leaning, to flow, uh, more of this, these things that I can't force, I can't steer Um, and for me that's finding ways where I can like tap into more of this harmonious thing and just trust that there's kind of something bigger out there that's also supporting me, which is a lifelong journey as a recovering catholic.
Speaker 1So oh, goodness you're not gonna get into that. That could be a whole episode itself um okay, and then what is your power animal? Let's hope the power doesn't go out this time. I'm gonna say a whale.
Speaker 2I'm gonna say a whale, oh wow, okay, yeah, all right, kim, you're like?
Speaker 1this morning I've been looking for whales. It was so amazing. And now tell me why. Why a whale?
Speaker 2I mean whales for me, I think, on from an from their perspective. I like that they're. They can be very solo and they can be on their own road, but they also are in pods and they have all these beautiful things that they do in pods, like humpbacks can sing like 20 miles from each other, and they have all these. You know, each pod usually has their own song and there's just so many interesting facts about them. But they're also just the strongest, most gentle animal out there.
Speaker 2Like no one really messes with the whales, unless it's a baby whale, you know. But they also don't mess with anything else, like they're just doing their thing. They're just in their little families, jumping out, having some fun and and eating along the way and like getting their little sun bath, and it sounds pretty great to me. But then also, just, I've had a lot of powerful moments with whales, um, where I've looked at them as signs of some kind of divine connection that, like something else is supporting me, and so, yeah, when I think, when I see whales, it's not just like, oh, I saw a whale it's like, oh, a big message is coming through and I'm really grateful for it I love that um.
Speaker 1Whales are the big ones, right blue are the biggest. Yeah, yeah I heard their tongues weigh the same as an elephant. Wow, isn't that crazy?
Speaker 2yeah, I mean, they're big, they're very big and their heart is the size of like a sedan it's the weight of a sedan, jesus and their veins are wide enough where you could swim. Humans could swim down them, supposedly. Yeah, once I started learning these facts, I started getting obsessed with them. They're just so.
Speaker 1Yeah, we can't even fathom. Well, Kim, it's been a great time.
Speaker 2Yeah, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1So can you tell our guests this is your shameless self-promotion time? Or sitting in the chair talking wisdom to everybody, armchair expert style. So this is your time. Just go for it and let me know when you're done. Of just sharing whatever you want.
Speaker 2Well, I would say, for those who are interested in connecting more to their creativity and they're looking to do that with some support, I have a monthly membership kind of connection thing where they could participate in that with me. So that's called Words and Wings and it's something I just launched this year and I'm super excited about it. And so tier one is where I send my own art, so I'll send writing prompts to get you going, but then I also send personal essays and any poetry that I create that month and I also create a little podcast for the members related to creativity. But it's also kind of like this little hype woman who sends you a little message every month of just like trying with the intention of getting removing the blocks that are usually around creativity and also blocks that come with life and personal development and creativity are kind of my, my two main jams. So, um, the podcast speaks to both of those. And then there's a tier two for those who want a little more community. They want a little more, um, extra support, live, there's tier two with called the wings, and that one, um, we have a live zoom creativity class where we do live writing prompts. We set goals around like what you want to achieve and it's kind of becomes the community, is this accountability um cohort to help us get there.
Speaker 2So tier one is through sub stack. Usually you can find me there, you can just find on um my Instagram. Both of these are connected. And then tier two is through Patreon, so it's like five bucks or 15, whatever you. Those are the two tiers. And write on Kim is my Instagram, so it's right on, like the verb to write a book. Write on underscore Kim and then in my bio both of those links are there. So that's how you could, if you wanted, to tap more into your creativity and also just get a little more connected to the travel solo female world. All of my personal essays are about my travel life, so you get that in your inbox and maybe you get inspiration for doing more of it yourself too.
Speaker 1Great Well, kim. Thank you so much for coming on. Speak for Change.
Speaker 2Thank you, yeah, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1This has been Speak for Change podcast. I'm your host, thomas Sage Pedersen. Thank you, have a wonderful day.