WEBVTT 00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:24.532 I'll talk about and this is not a tall negative, but if you looked at the title that I've written, I would call it darkness and light and I've been thinking an awful lot, probably being the oldest in the room on the outside, but maybe the youngest on the inside, because I'm on the nine. 00:00:24.800 --> 00:00:34.167 I've been thinking a lot about how we journey through life and I like to learn from people of the past as well as people of today. 00:00:34.167 --> 00:00:36.679 And there was a man called Brendan. 00:00:36.679 --> 00:00:42.732 He was born in 484, and he was an Irish saint. 00:00:42.732 --> 00:00:49.168 And one day he went on a journey, and I don't know, this just held me. 00:00:49.168 --> 00:00:56.250 Brendan and his people left where they were and they were very encouraged by the word spoken to them. 00:00:56.250 --> 00:01:01.332 May the God of our salvation grant you a safe journey. 00:01:01.332 --> 00:01:30.846 After traveling 40 days, they were covered in a great darkness that was so thick they could hardly see each other, and they came to understand that those who fear the darkness the darkness that had covered them, that was so thick they could hardly see each other, and they came to realize that those who fear the darkness will never be able to venture far or come into the fullness of night. 00:01:30.846 --> 00:01:41.250 You see, darkness is like the cloud that hides the glory of God, and it is a pity that it's just. 00:01:41.250 --> 00:01:46.989 This is where I'm at in this journey through life, so I hope you understand where I'm coming from. 00:01:46.989 --> 00:01:54.986 It is a pity that so many of us can be put off by the cloud, for it's often close to the glory. 00:01:56.900 --> 00:02:06.341 There was a man called David Adam, who used to be a pastor of a church on an island in England called Holy Island, and he said this. 00:02:06.341 --> 00:02:10.652 He said this not long ago before he passed on. 00:02:10.652 --> 00:02:20.587 It is our journey through the world, even its darkness, that prepares us for the wonders and delights of the world to come. 00:02:20.587 --> 00:02:23.687 For me on this journey. 00:02:23.687 --> 00:02:25.772 I'm not trying to make God come. 00:02:25.772 --> 00:02:35.098 We need to know that he is deep inside every one of us and that he's actually here. 00:02:35.098 --> 00:02:39.706 His presence is here. 00:02:39.706 --> 00:02:46.562 I wonder if we realise that even the ground we're standing on is holy ground. 00:02:46.562 --> 00:02:58.223 This is Advent and I was thinking about remember our Christmas story of the shepherds on the hills at Bethlehem. 00:02:58.223 --> 00:03:10.818 They were keeping watch at night when the angels came, but I believe there was even a greater understanding that came to them and that was the light was never far away. 00:03:10.818 --> 00:03:20.462 God, as our Father, is in His world and he wants to reveal Himself to us in times of darkness. 00:03:20.462 --> 00:03:32.419 And I wonder if sometimes we feel we've lost the ability to see, and I think it's really important to understand that God lives in us. 00:03:32.419 --> 00:03:43.800 But we also need to come to realise these words have changed my life so much that in Him we live and move and have our being. 00:03:45.050 --> 00:03:55.741 In Colossians it says that he is before all things and in Him all things hold together, even creation itself. 00:03:55.741 --> 00:04:06.340 There was a mystic long ago called St Anthony and he came from Portugal and he was a patron saint of lost things. 00:04:06.340 --> 00:04:09.237 He was a patron saint of the poor. 00:04:09.237 --> 00:04:20.769 He was a patron saint of animals, of elderly people and many other things, and he was asked how did he manage without books? 00:04:20.769 --> 00:04:25.240 And he said this please, I want you to get this. 00:04:25.240 --> 00:04:36.322 He said my book is the nature of created things and, as I often, I have a mind to read the word of God there at my hand. 00:04:36.322 --> 00:04:38.954 But the beauty of nature. 00:04:38.954 --> 00:04:41.560 He created a world for us to live in. 00:04:41.879 --> 00:04:50.689 Before he created us there was a German theologian called Master Eckert, born in 1260. 00:04:50.689 --> 00:04:54.701 And he said apprehend God in all things. 00:04:54.701 --> 00:05:00.502 Every single creature is full of God, and it's a book about God. 00:05:00.502 --> 00:05:12.358 Every creature is a word of God, and I'm coming also to understand that creation itself was communion with the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. 00:05:12.358 --> 00:05:30.023 Everything speaks of His presence and I came to understand in a deeper way, even during the lockdown, that we see without eyes, but, more importantly, we can see through the eyes of our heart. 00:05:30.023 --> 00:05:43.721 And I started to research this and I discovered in the Bible there are over 96 references to the heart, and this refers to the very core of our being. 00:05:43.721 --> 00:05:48.769 We're so busy trying to get everything here you understand me, don't you? 00:05:48.769 --> 00:05:53.021 But when we get it here, it changes everything. 00:05:53.021 --> 00:06:03.959 Because I'm finding that greater than our love for God listen to this greater than our love for God is His love for us. 00:06:03.959 --> 00:06:12.322 And as we journey in this love, we find we are in the very heart of God Himself. 00:06:12.322 --> 00:06:21.382 The Bible says nothing, nothing can separate us from the love that God in Christ Jesus, nothing. 00:06:21.382 --> 00:06:29.723 And it is this that allows us to even go on dangerous and troubled seas. 00:06:29.723 --> 00:06:33.959 You see, when God is in our boat, there's nothing to fear. 00:06:33.959 --> 00:06:41.221 Remember the story of Jesus in the boat, asleep even while the storm was raging. 00:06:41.221 --> 00:06:51.182 But when we come to living in the knowledge and understanding of God's love, we're not afraid to go anywhere. 00:06:53.870 --> 00:07:00.103 When I was eight years of age, I had a desire I want to go to Pakistan. 00:07:00.103 --> 00:07:01.833 I was only eight. 00:07:01.833 --> 00:07:03.156 Why Pakistan? 00:07:03.156 --> 00:07:04.279 I have no idea. 00:07:04.279 --> 00:07:11.442 I waited 75, 76 years and last year I went to Pakistan. 00:07:11.442 --> 00:07:16.661 And the reason for me saying this we're not afraid to go anywhere. 00:07:16.661 --> 00:07:22.642 Everybody said you can't go to Pakistan and began to tell me all the reasons why. 00:07:22.642 --> 00:07:27.081 But you see, when God is in our boat, there's nothing to fear. 00:07:27.081 --> 00:07:34.483 And my reason also for saying that is whatever dream you have inside of you, don't let go of it. 00:07:34.483 --> 00:07:41.541 I never, ever, thought after 75, 76 years, I would actually make it. 00:07:42.970 --> 00:07:53.389 I'm being driven up with Andy and Gunala up the hills and I started to cry as we're going up the hills. 00:07:53.389 --> 00:08:09.447 There was no edge to the road, it just dropped down and I saw the hills, and behind the hills with the hills, and behind the hills with the hills, and I started crying and there were tears of absolute joy. 00:08:09.447 --> 00:08:11.846 And Andy says why are you crying? 00:08:11.846 --> 00:08:14.067 I says you don't understand. 00:08:14.067 --> 00:08:16.067 It's the beauty of what I'm seeing. 00:08:16.067 --> 00:08:19.187 I waited all these years to see it. 00:08:20.319 --> 00:08:26.367 So when you live in this revelation of love, you're not afraid to go anywhere. 00:08:28.100 --> 00:08:34.448 You can get lost at sea, but we can know deep in our heart that we are not lost eternally. 00:08:34.448 --> 00:08:38.950 Our heart is what makes us who we are. 00:08:38.950 --> 00:08:42.100 It is the very core of our being. 00:08:42.100 --> 00:08:50.212 You see, our relationship with God is an affair of the heart, of the very center of our being. 00:08:50.212 --> 00:09:03.095 We really need to become more and more aware to the real truth that we are in Him and our hearts need to rest in Him if we're to have peace. 00:09:05.207 --> 00:09:32.693 I've also come to realize that within us now this is really important for me and I wouldn't be surprised, for many of us here maybe not everybody, but I've come to realize that within us there is a kind of desert of loneliness and no matter what we try and put in this desert place, we can still suffer from feeling dry and have a longing to satisfy our thirst. 00:09:32.693 --> 00:09:45.835 I even found out on the news recently that loneliness is gripping the hearts of people all over the world, especially with COVID and everything else. 00:09:45.835 --> 00:09:55.720 And I spoke to James Jordan years ago because he's spoken loneliness and it was my struggle and I said do you think we'll ever be free of loneliness? 00:09:55.720 --> 00:09:58.019 He says not in this lifetime. 00:09:58.019 --> 00:10:02.879 But to give you hope, my loneliness is not what it was. 00:10:02.879 --> 00:10:08.932 I feel I'm beginning to feel more and more at home, because he created this world for us to live in. 00:10:12.485 --> 00:10:16.716 He created a home for us before he created mankind. 00:10:16.716 --> 00:10:23.879 This desert and emptiness within us needs filling, and we can fill it with all sorts of things. 00:10:23.879 --> 00:10:27.918 There's too much food with too much wine, but I like it. 00:10:27.918 --> 00:10:29.482 But can I? 00:10:29.563 --> 00:10:42.559 also show you in a different way there's also a desert in us that is a kind of place of crossing over if you are to get to the other side. 00:10:42.559 --> 00:10:48.750 Before the Promised Land spoken of in the Bible could be reached, there were deserts to cross. 00:10:48.750 --> 00:10:56.971 So interesting to find that Jacob had a dream of God's presence when he was in the desert. 00:10:56.971 --> 00:11:05.600 Moses, looking after the sheep in the wilderness, found the ground was holy when he saw the burning bush. 00:11:05.600 --> 00:11:11.716 I still question that and I said to God was the ground not holy before? 00:11:11.716 --> 00:11:16.519 He's not answered me so I'm still trying to ponder that one. 00:11:16.879 --> 00:11:20.256 But he found the ground was holy when he saw the burning bush. 00:11:22.125 --> 00:11:25.240 You see, our journey is a journey of the desert. 00:11:25.240 --> 00:11:30.269 A journey from slavery to freedom often involves crossing the desert. 00:11:30.269 --> 00:11:36.582 In the New Testament, the wise men crossed the desert to find Jesus. 00:11:36.582 --> 00:11:41.687 John the Baptist chose the desert at the beginning of his ministry. 00:11:41.687 --> 00:11:49.831 Mark's Gospel tells us of Jesus that the Spirit drove him into the wilderness for 40 days. 00:11:49.831 --> 00:11:54.030 It was the Spirit who led Jesus into the desert. 00:11:54.030 --> 00:12:03.668 So the desert can be a positive place because there can be space for us to face what's going on inside of us. 00:12:06.181 --> 00:12:27.783 I am becoming very aware, even more so, especially in the season that we're living in, that dryness is entering the hearts and souls of people even today, and I'm realising, if we don't allow ourselves to be emptied, it's often because we're afraid of the growing emptiness within. 00:12:27.783 --> 00:12:44.958 We are called to love the Lord, our God, with all our heart, with all our soul, with all our mind, but we live in an age, all of us here, where we're not sure if His presence is really with us. 00:12:44.958 --> 00:12:52.024 People often seem, like today, like orphans in the lost world. 00:12:52.024 --> 00:12:58.719 People often feel lonely in this world and don't know how to go forward. 00:12:58.719 --> 00:13:07.139 It seems, in this century that we're living in, that so many have lost relationship with God as a father. 00:13:07.139 --> 00:13:10.692 This is why I'm so grateful to James Jordan. 00:13:10.692 --> 00:13:15.304 I want to honour him until I meet him in eternity. 00:13:15.304 --> 00:13:17.948 He's still on earth, but I do meet him. 00:13:17.948 --> 00:13:24.779 But I don't know where I'd be if I'd never began to come into this relationship with God as a father. 00:13:24.779 --> 00:13:38.861 I really do believe it's important in this day and hour to come to know that God is our Father and my prayer is that it's not lost through confusion in our present world. 00:13:40.309 --> 00:13:43.884 Jesus talked of this situation and his story of the prodigal son. 00:13:43.884 --> 00:13:50.465 It was not that the Father wouldn't give to His Son, it was not that the Father moved away. 00:13:50.465 --> 00:13:55.519 It was the Son who was not at home in the present moment. 00:13:55.519 --> 00:13:59.485 The Son wanted to make Himself the centre of His world. 00:13:59.485 --> 00:14:03.725 He had come of an age and he thought I don't need a father. 00:14:03.725 --> 00:14:14.256 But I wonder if we need to realise that when this relationship with God as our Father is broken, all other relationships break down as well. 00:14:14.256 --> 00:14:22.721 The prodigal Son learned that you cannot buy love. 00:14:22.721 --> 00:14:23.705 It must be freely given. 00:14:23.705 --> 00:14:28.897 And I'm also coming to understand. 00:14:28.897 --> 00:14:34.945 It is no use in possessing things If you're empty on the inside. 00:14:34.945 --> 00:14:36.393 You know I'm being the oldest here. 00:14:40.216 --> 00:14:42.024 I've got a lovely little modern flat, a one bedroom. 00:14:42.024 --> 00:14:42.225 I love it. 00:14:42.225 --> 00:14:46.985 But I've noticed something happening with me. 00:14:46.985 --> 00:14:54.539 I'm going through my bookcase and I take a book, I start reading it and I give it away and I look at something in my cupboard. 00:14:54.539 --> 00:14:56.933 I've not used that, so I give it away. 00:14:56.933 --> 00:15:00.061 And I've got a friend Mark who's a friend of mine. 00:15:00.061 --> 00:15:03.914 I've got a friend Mark who was one of the leaders in my mum. 00:15:03.914 --> 00:15:06.033 He says Helena, I've noticed something. 00:15:06.033 --> 00:15:10.375 Every time you give something away, god does something inside of you. 00:15:10.375 --> 00:15:23.200 It's like I'm getting rid of junk and but I'm also coming to understand that there's no use possessing things if you're empty on the inside. 00:15:23.200 --> 00:15:28.985 When the Son returns home, all he wants is a relationship with His Father. 00:15:28.985 --> 00:15:36.384 A relationship even amongst this group here isn't gained by duty, or is it worked for? 00:15:36.384 --> 00:15:40.537 Although I think somebody's worked very hard here, aww. 00:15:40.537 --> 00:15:42.322 But it is of the heart. 00:15:43.486 --> 00:15:46.173 She's done this because she wants us here. 00:15:46.173 --> 00:15:52.404 I don't know why. 00:15:52.404 --> 00:16:02.850 I don't know why, but his love is becoming more real to me as I live in this, and I really want our soul to begin to live in this love. 00:16:02.850 --> 00:16:05.729 It changes absolutely everything. 00:16:05.729 --> 00:16:08.889 I believe it even changes the atmosphere. 00:16:10.523 --> 00:16:14.291 See, the Bible tells us that God is not a God without feelings. 00:16:14.291 --> 00:16:18.690 He is not a God who made this world and then left it. 00:16:18.690 --> 00:16:21.947 He is at home in it and he cares for it. 00:16:21.947 --> 00:16:23.864 God loves this world. 00:16:23.864 --> 00:16:29.370 In fact, he loves the world so much that he gave himself for it. 00:16:29.370 --> 00:16:37.841 And the amazing thing is it's not just for us as human beings, but his love is for the whole world. 00:16:40.539 --> 00:16:50.551 I'm also coming to understand that the whole world belongs to God, and this, I believe, opens up us up to a world of discovery. 00:16:50.551 --> 00:17:04.030 We really are part of something far greater than we can ever possibly imagine, and as we become aware of this, we find that all things work together for good. 00:17:04.030 --> 00:17:17.347 God, as our Father, wants us to make ourselves at home in this world, because it's His world that we are living in in the present moment. 00:17:17.347 --> 00:17:24.035 And just to let you know one thing, I found something a few months ago. 00:17:24.035 --> 00:17:26.363 That had me absolutely laughing. 00:17:26.363 --> 00:17:33.913 It says in Isaiah 46, even in your old age and gray hairs, I am he. 00:17:33.913 --> 00:17:36.607 I am he who will sustain you. 00:17:37.180 --> 00:17:41.550 I have made you and I will sustain you and I will rescue you. 00:17:41.550 --> 00:17:47.244 I went hysterical when I read that he's mentioning me in the Bible. 00:17:47.244 --> 00:17:58.367 There really is a danger in the time in which we're living in, where we're encouraged to chase after too many things. 00:17:58.367 --> 00:18:12.807 By seeking to possess things, we can often be possessed by them, things like our appetite is never satisfied. 00:18:12.807 --> 00:18:23.327 I never realised, like I said earlier, that having the need to possess lots of things is often a sign of poverty within. 00:18:23.327 --> 00:18:42.506 We can be surrounded by worldly things and still feel poor and unsatisfied within, and we seem, in this day and hour, to measure people by their success or what they've gained or by the position they hold. 00:18:42.506 --> 00:18:52.653 But listen to this we really do need to see again and again with fresh eyes that Jesus came as the Son of God. 00:18:52.653 --> 00:18:54.605 But do you know what I'm saying? 00:18:54.605 --> 00:18:54.946 Do you know? 00:18:54.946 --> 00:18:56.748 He was a carpenter's son. 00:18:56.748 --> 00:19:13.711 He was born at a stable and in Matthew 13, we read the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful perils, and when he found one pearl of great price, he sold everything and bought it. 00:19:13.711 --> 00:19:23.944 And I believe that the peril that we are seeking for today is the presence, the divine presence, that will never, never, leave us. 00:19:23.944 --> 00:19:30.810 John said this that the darkest hour is just before the dawn. 00:19:30.810 --> 00:19:35.929 And I want to finish with one little thing. 00:19:37.740 --> 00:19:40.001 Anybody heard of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. 00:19:40.001 --> 00:19:48.088 He was a German and Copa the Nazis, and he was not long before he was hung because of his faith. 00:19:48.088 --> 00:19:52.808 He said this, and I read this often and often and often. 00:19:52.808 --> 00:19:56.867 And he says what will Christ mean in the future? 00:19:56.867 --> 00:20:04.111 We need a new form of Christianity when the time of this world is come of age. 00:20:04.111 --> 00:20:15.605 There's only one purpose for religion in this modern world, when people must share each other's suffering and the suffering of God. 00:20:15.605 --> 00:20:21.039 In this godless world, we need more than religion in the former sense. 00:20:21.039 --> 00:20:24.759 We need a faith and Jesus Christ at the centre. 00:20:24.759 --> 00:20:29.960 Real Christianity means sharing each other's pain. 00:20:29.960 --> 00:20:40.779 He goes on to say it's not for us to prophesy when men will once more ask God, when will the world be changed and renewed. 00:20:40.779 --> 00:20:48.656 But when that day arrives, there will be a new language, a non-religious language. 00:20:48.656 --> 00:20:53.980 It will be liberating and redeeming as Jesus' language. 00:20:53.980 --> 00:20:56.155 It will shock people. 00:20:56.155 --> 00:20:58.738 It will shock them by its power. 00:20:58.738 --> 00:21:03.659 It will be a new truth proclaiming God's peace with man. 00:21:05.891 --> 00:21:08.917 And I'd just like to finish with a prayer that I found. 00:21:08.917 --> 00:21:14.633 Somebody wrote one day and I really like it yeah, I can pray, but I don't know. 00:21:14.633 --> 00:21:19.451 I just kind of drink from this Father. 00:21:19.451 --> 00:21:24.617 At the beginning of creation, you calm the troubles of the world. 00:21:24.617 --> 00:21:33.097 Be present now to those of us in this room whose lives are filled with troubles. 00:21:33.097 --> 00:21:37.999 Grant them the grace of calm in the midst of confusion. 00:21:37.999 --> 00:21:43.640 You have always shown us the way from darkness into the light. 00:21:43.640 --> 00:21:51.920 For those struggling now to see the light, we ask that you shine it a bit brighter in our world. 00:21:51.920 --> 00:21:58.753 Grant us all the grace to see a way forward through the present darkness. 00:21:58.753 --> 00:22:00.878 In Jesus' name. 00:22:00.878 --> 00:22:10.323 I see we're all on a journey. 00:22:11.631 --> 00:22:15.276 We really are and we need one another on this journey. 00:22:15.276 --> 00:22:20.618 You know when I feel flat, and we will do. 00:22:20.618 --> 00:22:23.255 And I want to finish with one thing. 00:22:23.255 --> 00:22:29.740 I've probably said before that Hildegard of Bingen have taught me something so profound. 00:22:29.740 --> 00:22:39.477 Hildegard of Bingen says there's something inside us that wants to fly, and that's what James Jordan always says something in us that wants to fly. 00:22:39.477 --> 00:22:44.641 But she says this in order to fly like an eagle. 00:22:45.490 --> 00:22:53.115 And I discovered in the Bible that there are over 30 references to an eagle and I thought why is this? 00:22:53.115 --> 00:23:16.425 And I discovered that an eagle One type of eagle lives 40 years, goes into hibernation, picks all its feathers off, waits five and a half months for new feathers to grow in and then begins to fly till it's about 70 years. 00:23:16.425 --> 00:23:18.261 I thought an eagle does that. 00:23:18.261 --> 00:23:21.825 So I thought a lot about what James says. 00:23:21.825 --> 00:23:24.019 Something in us wants to fly. 00:23:24.019 --> 00:23:28.123 I discovered Hildegard of Bingen. 00:23:28.202 --> 00:23:38.884 Some of you know this, but Hildegard of Bingen said there's something in us that wants to fly, and she says that in order to fly, you need two wings. 00:23:38.884 --> 00:23:46.605 You need the wing of the awareness of beauty, but you also need the wing of the awareness of pain and suffering. 00:23:46.605 --> 00:23:50.444 If you only focus on the beauty, you can't fly. 00:23:50.444 --> 00:23:54.414 But if you only focus on the pain and suffering, you can't fly. 00:23:54.414 --> 00:23:57.984 We need both wings of awareness. 00:23:59.919 --> 00:24:10.065 So when troubles come in our lives and they will come it's good to look at the beauty, but it's also to be aware of the pain and suffering. 00:24:10.065 --> 00:24:21.324 So may each one of us and I speak into myself spend time to look at the beauty, but also to be aware of the pain and suffering. 00:24:21.324 --> 00:24:27.182 There's the law of gravity if I fall down, I'll fall down, I won't fall up the wing. 00:24:27.182 --> 00:24:34.462 So with pain and suffering, we need to be aware of, but also be aware of the beauty. 00:24:34.462 --> 00:24:46.166 So for me, back home on my own after the lockdown was over, I thought do you know, I focus so much on the suffering? 00:24:46.166 --> 00:24:48.142 I've not focused on the beauty. 00:24:48.142 --> 00:24:57.374 So I decided to go a walk down to the park and I thought to myself five hugs a day prevent wrinkles. 00:24:59.441 --> 00:25:03.682 I've not been allowed to see anybody, so I thought well, there's a tree. 00:25:03.682 --> 00:25:05.798 So I looked about. 00:25:05.798 --> 00:25:18.259 I looked about and there was nobody near me, so I put my arm around the tree in front of them, but it was when Hildegard had been when she said that. 00:25:18.259 --> 00:25:25.242 I thought I understand that we have to be aware of pain and suffering, but we also have to be aware of beauty. 00:25:25.242 --> 00:25:28.681 And there's a beauty in you, young man. 00:25:28.681 --> 00:25:32.060 You're a beautiful boy. 00:25:32.060 --> 00:25:35.474 Do you believe me? 00:25:35.474 --> 00:25:36.538 Yeah. 00:25:39.036 --> 00:25:42.846 But it's true, we need to have two wings of awareness. 00:25:42.846 --> 00:25:52.819 So go into beauty and feel your spirit sewer, but also be aware that if you trip over a stone you're going to fall down. 00:25:52.819 --> 00:25:55.083 So I just wish you. 00:25:55.083 --> 00:26:03.221 Thank you, thank you.