You Survived Because God Isn’t Finished With You Yet

In this deeply honest and empowering episode of Healing Her Halo, Patience Murray shares a heartfelt reminder for every woman navigating trauma, anxiety, heartbreak, grief, or emotional exhaustion: your survival was not accidental.

You survived because God isn’t finished with your story yet.

But survival is only the beginning. Healing requires learning how to gently move your mind and body out of constant “fight-or-flight” mode and back into the present moment. In this episode, Patience explores the emotional and physical effects of living in survival mode while offering practical, research-backed healing tools to help regulate your nervous system and reconnect with peace.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

✨ What “survival mode” actually does to the mind and body
✨ Why trauma can make it difficult to feel safe, rested, or emotionally present
✨ Reasons not to give up on your healing journey
✨ Practical grounding techniques to calm your nervous system
✨ How movement, breathwork, prayer, journaling, sunlight, and rest support healing
✨ Why your story still carries purpose — even after pain

Whether you’ve been feeling emotionally overwhelmed, constantly triggered, disconnected from yourself, or simply tired of carrying so much alone, this episode is here to remind you that healing is possible — slowly, gently, and one moment at a time.

You are not behind.
You are not broken.
And your story is still unfolding.

🎧 Subscribe to Healing Her Halo for more trauma-informed conversations, healing tools, faith-filled encouragement, and honest discussions for women learning how to heal while still showing up for life.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to another episode of Healing Her Halo, a women empowerment platform for women who've experienced trauma and the struggles of mental health. This is a safe space to gain guidance on how to navigate through the storms of life and how to stay present in the light when the sun shines again. Be sure to download, share, and subscribe so you can help heal another woman's halo. Now, here's your host, Patience Murray.

SPEAKER_00 0:25

Hi, I'm your host, Patience, Patience Murray, and I'm so glad to be here with you. And the title of this episode is for a woman who survived, but she's not sure if she still has purpose, if she still has meaning, if she still has value in this earth. And right now I want to remind you that you are, that you are worthy, you are valuable, and you survived because God is not finished with your story yet. So I hope this video encourages you and gives you the message that you need at the right time. Well, starting off, community is so important. Especially when you have survived, especially when you have gone through something extremely traumatic. It's so important to surround yourself with the right community of people who can encourage you, uplift you, pour into you when you cannot carry yourself. That's rule number one for surviving and beginning this journey and remembering that God has more in store for you. You've got to have people around you also that are reminding you that you are made for more and that your your story doesn't end at the point of your survival. That's a mere part of the experience of you. That's a mere part of your relatability and your ability to put yourself and place yourself in other people's shoes. And we hear this a lot, you know, talk to the self that you were five years ago. When you're a survivor, especially when you're a survivor, there are people who've gone through challenging things that you probably understand. And there is a way that you've overcome it. There is a way that you were able to pull yourself up out of those dark pits. And that story, that testimony is exactly what God needs from you right now in this season more than ever. So you survived because God is still writing your story, not just for you, but for the other people that are going to be connected to you, inspired by your story. So your story really isn't for you. It's for it, it's for everybody that's going to be inspired, motivated to keep going because, because of how you articulate your journey. So that alone should be enough to encourage you to keep going when you feel like quitting, when you feel like throwing in the towel, when you feel like this is too heavy, it's too much, where it feels like your actual body. And trauma carries in the body. And this is backed by research. There's so many books on this, like Body Keeps the Score. There's so many books on this, where it's clear that trauma remains in your body, and you have to do your very best with exercises and somatic therapy for you to get that trauma out of your body. And that's why community and support is so important because that's how you discover new things that are working for other people that are being able to get the trauma out of their own body. So that's why sharing our stories are so important. So when we need help, we know what's working for other people. And you could be that person that helps someone else knows that they can keep going too. Okay. And I don't want you to beat yourself up. There's a tendency for us as survivors to want to jump right into our purpose-driven activities after going through a traumatic experience. We automatically want to jump right into service, and just in the mere fact of us surviving and being willing to share is a blessing in itself. A hundred percent a blessing in itself, and that alone needs to be celebrated. Just the fact that you did, you know, make it through. But don't put too much on yourself too early on. That's something that I definitely did, and I didn't baby step my way into my advocacy work. I didn't give myself enough time to heal, and because of that, I burnt out really quick. And it it took me a long time to really recover from that. So, what I what I encourage you to do is think about what God may be wanting from you now that you have survived. Now that you have survived, start asking those questions of what did this do for me? Because in the beginning, we can get stuck in that why a lot. Why things happen? Why did this have to be this way? Why did it have to be me who survived anything? I know for me early on, I I was so angry in my situation because I I survived a post-nightclub shooting that took place on June 12, 2016. I was shot twice and held hostage for three hours. Someone that I attended the club with that night didn't make it. And I remember feeling angry. Like, why did this have to happen? Why did I have to be in that moment? Why did I have to experience that and overcome that? Why did this have to be a part of my story? And sometimes when you feel like you're being hit with complex traumas, not only from your childhood, now you're getting things in your young adulthood and in your adulthood, there are things that you're experiencing as well. And I remember feeling recently as well, even that that inkling of, I'm I'm tired of another story. I'm tired of another story. And sometimes when you are per a per a person that's called to purpose-driven work, sometimes you go through things so you can relate to people. And it's for you to go through it, come out of it, get the lesson, and share it because of the way that you can articulate what you've gone through and what worked for you. And it's so important to get this because if not, you'll stay stuck in the fact that it happened. Try and understand why it happened instead of understanding what it was doing for you, what it did for you in the fact that you were able to make it through, in the deliverance that God was able to do for you, in the moving forward, what it was able to produce on the inside of you, that's what you gotta focus on. And it's it's so easy to get stuck in that that why loop. So, but just remember that you survive because God has a purpose for you, and get busy with understanding that purpose instead of understanding the why. Understanding the purpose instead of understanding the why. That's gonna free you, that's gonna allow you to be happier and just release the need to understand why everything happened, to surrender into the plan that is being unfolded from you. And it's being unfolded from you because what happened to you happened to you and for you. But what's unfolding from you is a result of the fruit that's produced from your resilience, from your ability to not give up, from your bounce back, from your testimony, and that impact, that ripple effect is going to translate into the world. And start with small, consistent actions, right? It's not gonna be a jump from zero to one hundred, especially if you've just survived something terribly horrible and egregious. But even if it's been 10 years and you are still dealing with that trauma in your body, in your soul, in your heart, in your chest, and you feel that tenseness, give yourself a break, especially if you don't understand all the things about behavioral psychology, right? But small repeated actions are actually more sustainable, and we talk about this in the show a few episodes back called NVP. What's your minimum viable progress? What's the minimum viable push you can do in a day to help you move towards your healing journey to help you cast a vote, as James Clear would say, into the version of yourself that you're becoming? What does that look like for you today? And that might not be starting a foundation today, that may not be starting a foundation 10 years after whatever you've gone through and whatever you whatever you survived. Sometimes it takes decades to overcome fully heal through and work through some of that trauma that's existing in your body and living in your brain. Give yourself some grace to not have to do everything in one night and some dramatic overall of a transformation that you're trying to produce while allowing your actual body the time it needs to get better, and you will get better. It may take some consistency through your changing of your routine. For me, I have gone through a really challenging past week, and it was challenging in showing up, it was challenging in performing, it was challenging in being the mom, being the wife, being, you know, the the businesswoman, being the encourager, being the advocate, putting on every hat imaginable. But the things that helped me when I felt like it was too much, when I felt like I could not go on journaling. Journaling helped me. And it started just from that pure place of needing to get it on paper. And sometimes all you can do is start from that pure place of getting it on paper. And that's where it started for me. Picking up a pen, an actual journal, and writing. On the show, we talk a lot about the healing power of writing and creative writing as well. Writing in general, it's a therapeutic process and it's free to you. I remember being younger, and I went through a lot of things in my childhood as well, of dealing with abandonment, of not having my mom in my life since I was two years old, and I remember feeling very lone as a child, and I needed a way to express myself and get my emotions out. Writing was that for me. Even if I didn't have paper, I would get a napkin and I would write something because I needed to express myself. So even now, at my big age, I still write as that saving grace for me. Because I believe at many times writing is a gift that that comes to us to remind us that it's there, that we can get it out on paper, that we can express what's in our hearts, so we don't have to carry it by ourselves, and in a way we can hand that over to God who already knows what's on our hearts anyway. But maybe we we're not in a space or place where we can pray. But writing, writing your prayers, even, is a very, very helpful process, no matter where you are, if you're in a room full of people, and you just need to get something out so you don't crash out. That's something you can absolutely do. And also breath work. And breath work sounds like a fancy way of just saying breathing intentionally, deeply, very aware of your breaths, and when things get overwhelming for me, when I feel the trauma bubbling in my spirit, and I gotta calm myself, regulate my nervous system. Breathing intentionally works for me. And I remember going to well, I was actually going to this event. I was actually speaking at this women's business event. Um, I believe it was in Miramar. Yeah. So I was speaking at this event, and they had a healer there, and she was a healer, she was a meditation specialist, and she worked walked us all through a breathwork exercise. And we had to breathe in for eight counts, hold for eight counts, and breathe out slowly for eight counts. And this past week I remember feeling so intensely full of stress, pain. I felt extremely triggered this past week. But you know what I did? Not only did I journal, but I breathed in for eight counts, held for eight counts, and I breathed out for eight counts, and it helped, and I know it'll help you too. Not only that, but encouraging other people. Now, when I'm going through, you are gonna see the most motivational, inspirational, aspirational version of me because it almost feels like I'm kicking off into this hyper boost mode. Because now that I feel down, I feel like I must share what I'm going through and encourage someone else who who's going through the same thing. Because that's almost a signal to me that if I'm going through it, it must be somebody out there that's also going through who may not be able to get back up again. Like I know that I can. So let me encourage someone else. So whenever you're feeling down and out, whenever you're feeling like you just can't do it, whenever you're feeling like you, life is just lifing right now. You know, that's what the kids say. Life is lifing. Whenever that happens, be of courage, be of good cheer, be a blessing. Go out and help somebody else. And that may not be actually physically doing something for someone else. Maybe it's just picking up your phone and sharing an encouraging message with a friend or checking in on a friend to make sure that they're okay. But do something to encourage someone else when you're going through. And I remember Joyce Meyer saying something like, if you need hope, give some away. That's what that is. When you need healing, give some healing encouragement to someone else. So that was helpful for me as well. And going outside. Now, this is science-backed, right? This is science backed, but going outside, getting some sun, breathing in the fresh air, taking a walk are so important to your mental health and healing. Now, this is May, May. May is mental health awareness month. But I want you to take this for what it is and apply it to your life every day. Because every day needs to be mental health awareness month, okay? We need to take that seriously, okay. Now, another thing that helped me is stretching. Now, this may not be a full-on yoga session where you can play your healing music and your your piano instrumentals and really get into the groove of it and stretch full out. Maybe it's just you standing up from your chair, holding your arm over your chest, each side. Maybe it's putting your hand over your head, or whatever it is, get moving. Movement helps. Now, these are small habits, small things that you can do and take action on immediately to help you calm your nervous system to be able to get a moment of clarity, and maybe it's not a few minutes, maybe it's not a couple hours, maybe you don't have that. Maybe all you have are a couple moments that you can get to yourself to gather yourself so you don't crash out, so you don't let the trauma disrupt everything that God is trying to do in your life. You survive for a purpose. God needs you here, sharing your story. Now, sometimes that means you need to drink some more water. Drinking water helps me when I feel really overwhelmed and my nervous system is out of whack and I feel like I can't regain my stance, or when it feels like my feet aren't planted on the ground, where it feels like I'm floating and I'm lost, where it feels like I can't see my pathway forward. Guess what? Sometimes drinking water helps. Sometimes the cool activation of that water is just the things that my system needs to signal to myself that I am still here, that I am not in that same place that I was before, that I'm not still on that bathroom floor impulse, that I can feel safe, that I can create a new experience in my life right now. And our brain needs that support. Now, there's mental health and there's behavioral health. Both things are important. Mental health is definitely about the ideologies and the thoughts of how your brain is processing information and understanding and your thoughts, your patterns of thinking, your identity when it comes to that. But behavioral health is equally as important because it's about how you're showing up as a result of that. It's your actual behaviors, it's the things that you're doing that's influenced by your thoughts. We need to prioritize both. Now, for me, also being creative helps. Now, I'm also giving you the behaviors that you could do and take action on immediately when you feel overwhelmed and stressed about the why, and you and you get stuck in that warp of trying to figure out and understand why everything happened. Sometimes you just need to take a beat, sometimes you need to get a little creative, and for you that could be painting. I love to do this with my family. Whenever we have our family down here in Florida, we'll paint. We'll get some canvases, we'll get some paint brushes, we'll get little paint sets, and we'll paint as a family. And so much beautiful art has come out of that. And maybe it's not painting for you, maybe it's singing. Maybe it's not singing to be, you know, a number one billboard charting recording artist. Maybe it's just singing praise to God that delivered you in the privacy of your own home, in the privacy of the own bathroom that you're at if you're at work and you just need to get a little praise session in. Maybe it's writing a poem. Maybe it's watching a luxury home video to stimulate your mind in a different way. Whatever it is, get creative. Because there is actually science behind this. And as the show goes on and I get better, so bear with me. This is a learning curve for me. I have been healing my own halo for over for most of my life, really. And I haven't really figured out all the things that I need to do and with the purposes God has for me, but I'm making steps towards it. And I'm I pray that I'm being a living example for other survivor women out there who are trying their best and doing their best with a nervous system that may not feel like the best, right? But you're pushing through anyway. So with that being said. I hope that my story, that what I'm sharing with you, I hope it's helpful. I hope it's benefiting you. And I hope, I hope, I hope that it's something that you needed to hear today. Okay. And I want this to be a safe place for you. A safe place because I'm a survivor too. I know what it's like to be in a bunch of trauma-informed spaces that don't feel so trauma-informed. I know what it's like to be at women empowerment events that don't feel so friendly and don't consider the fact that there are women who need a tender approach to engaging with each other. And I want to be that space for you. I want Healing Her Halo to be that space for you. But this alone may not be everything you need. So I would encourage you to go to therapy. If you need extra support, I encourage you to utilize the resources that are available to you. And it's a beautiful thing about technology now that is that everything is so much more accessible for you. So if you need help, it's it's at the tip of your fingertips that you can go and get the help you need. And there are more resources available now than there were 10 years ago when I first survived the post-nightclip shooting, or years ago from that, when I was a kid in Philadelphia, wishing I had someone to talk to. Now they're chatbots that can talk to you, clinically trained chatbots and virtual assistants that can help guide you, move you away from the pattern of thinking that you may be stuck in that's hurting you and causing you to want to hurt yourself. Use the tools that you have available and use it all. I do believe that you survived because God isn't finished with you yet. God isn't finished with your story. And in order for you to be able to stick around and understand what that purpose is, you got to get moving and you can't stay stuck in where you are. And in order for you to get unstuck, you have to take these small, consistent actions every day. Again, getting sunlight, taking a walk, prayer, journaling, drinking water, going to therapy, listening to music, maybe writing music or being creative, getting your nervous system out of that panic mode and into the life that God has for you. So I hope this was helpful. I hope that this episode helped put a spark back into your Halo today. And I'll know by if you downloaded it that it was helpful, that let that's a signal that lets me know that you you found this helpful. Find me on social media. Let me know what you want me to talk about. Let me know what you're dealing with, what you're struggling with. I need to know because this is not just for me, it's for us. It's for us survivor women who've been through it time and time again, who are fighting for their next chapter, who are fighting to undo the loops that were created by trauma. And I believe and I declare that the survival mode is ending and that we're going into thriving mode, right? Where we're truly living and enjoying our lives, and that is possible, that is obtainable, and it is already done. I hope this episode put a spark back in your halo today. As always, wishing you the best rest of your week, and please, please, please subscribe to our YouTube channel, download the episode, share it with someone that you know needs a little help putting your spark back into their halo today. Talk soon.

SPEAKER_01 25:58

Thank you for listening. Please follow our social media at Healing Her Halo for more updates. Also, be sure to share with a friend who needs a little spark put back in her halo today.