Maybe You're Not Lazy: What's Really Behind Procrastination, Burnout & Lack of Motivation

Have you ever looked at your unfinished dreams, growing to-do list, or half-finished projects and wondered, "Why can't I get it together?"

In this episode of Healing Her Halo, Patience Murray explores a powerful possibility: what if you're not lazy at all?

Drawing from her journey as a survivor, mother, entrepreneur, artist, and woman navigating healing, Patience unpacks what research says about procrastination, burnout, fear, and motivation. You'll learn why your brain may be trying to protect you, how trauma and stress affect your ability to take action, and practical ways to start moving forward without shaming yourself in the process.

If you've been feeling stuck, overwhelmed, exhausted, or discouraged, this episode is your reminder that healing and progress can coexist—and that small steps still count.

In this episode, you'll learn:
 ✨ Why procrastination is often emotional, not logistical
 ✨ The difference between burnout and laziness
 ✨ How fear can disguise itself as lack of motivation
 ✨ Why self-compassion creates more momentum than self-criticism
 ✨ A simple strategy to start making progress today

Maybe you're not lazy. Maybe you're carrying more than you realize.

#HealingHerHalo, #Procrastination, #BurnoutRecovery, #MentalHealthAwareness, #HealingJourney, #SelfGrowth, #PersonalDevelopment, #MotivationMonday, #MindsetShift, #OvercomingFear, #TraumaHealing, #WomenWhoHeal, #SelfCompassion, #EmotionalWellness, #BurnoutAwareness, #FaithOverFear, #ChristianWomen, #Resilience, #InnerHealing, #WomenEmpowerment, #HealingPodcast, #MentalHealthMatters, #NervousSystemHealing, #OvercomingTrauma, #ProductivityTips, #SelfImprovement, #PurposeDrivenLife, #HealingCommunity, #PodcastForWomen, #PersonalGrowthJourney, #MindsetMatters, #InspirationDaily, #MotivationalPodcast, #WomenSupportingWomen, #HealingThroughFaith, #StressManagement, #LifeAfterTrauma, #SurvivorStory, #GrowthMindset, #YouAreNotLazy,

Transcript

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Have you ever looked at your unfinished dreams, your growing to-do list, and countless full journals and wondered, why can't I get it together? Maybe there's a project you've been putting off, probably for years, a goal you keep on restarting, and a dream you keep saying you'll get to one day. That book, that song, that online course. Maybe having that baby. And maybe you even started calling yourself lazy. I know I have. But today, I want to explore a possibility that changed my life as a survivor of a mass shooting, doing the best I can to heal my nervous system after being shot twice and held hostage for three hours. As a toddler mom and wife doing the best I can to balance the hustle in home life, all while building a personal brand and business. So sometimes I need a break. And maybe you do too. So maybe you're not lazy. Maybe you're caring more than you realize. Welcome to Healing Her Halo. I'm your host, Pei Morae. And this podcast was designed for women who are building and rebuilding themselves after some of life's hardest moments. A place where we can learn together, learn how to activate resilience, build our faith, and renew our sparkle. In this episode, we're talking about what may actually be underneath your procrastination, lack of motivation and burnout, and how to start moving forward without beating yourself up in the process. So let's get into it. Everything I'm sharing with you are resources, tools, perspective shifts by credible sources that have actually made a noticeable difference for me in how I've been showing up lately, even while feeling low in energy. So I hope this helps you on your journey as well. And if so, hit that subscribe button. And if you're listening on podcasts, be sure to download this episode so platforms can see that it's valuable enough to share with someone else who needs a spark put back into their halo. Point number one, what if you're not lazy? What if motivation isn't the problem? I've thought about this for a while. Some of us think motivation comes first. We tell ourselves, when I feel ready to start, that's when I'll do it. But what if motivation isn't necessarily the thing that's gonna get it going? What if you have to be the thing to get it going? What if you in the action of making the movement, what if that actually creates the excitement, the fuel for you to continue on and persist in your journey? And maybe you've been waiting for motivation to actually create movement. Let me be honest. While writing my second book, especially with a two-year-old in the house, it was a challenge. It was an extreme challenge to do. And I did not feel like doing it at all. I didn't feel like writing, I didn't feel like doing the work to center my mind to make sure that it could get done. But the action steps of me actually getting up, and it took me getting up around 4:30, 5 o'clock every day in order to create that time and space for myself in order to take those action steps, even if it was just my MVP of showing up for 30 minutes. That was my minimum valuable push. And maybe yours could look like something different for you, depending on what your goal is. But for me, writing my book, it was a challenge. And for those of you that aren't aware, I have a book out right now called Survived and Live. That was my first ever book. It was much easier to write because I had so much to share, so much, so much to prove more so in myself, to know that I could do it, to know that I could articulate my story in such a way that it could move other people, that I could complete a project of that size, and I did it. It was even harder the second time because I started thinking about comparing it to the success of the first book and comparing it to the impact that the first book had and whether or not I would be able to say something interesting enough to recreate some of that success or momentum, so you will. The perspective shift for me that helped was adopting a service mindset. And that's actually the first, the first chapter of the book is talking about why it's important to adopt a service mindset, right? Because a lot of the times when we are so focused on ourselves and we're so focused on the outcome of what we want, that already kills motivation, that's already killing momentum because you're stopping yourself before you even get a chance to start. It's in the start that creates the static, that creates that spark, that reignites that fuel to get it going. So for me, just showing up, knowing that if I get up at this time every day, whether it be 4:30 or 5 a.m., I open my laptop, I sit there, I commit to that time. Just committing to the time of the space that I created helped me. Even when I didn't feel the motivation to move forward, it helped me. It helped me generate momentum. So maybe that will help you too. And maybe you're not writing a book. Maybe you are working on a new business idea, or maybe you have so many things on your to-do list and you just have not wanted to do it. Maybe you have to carve out that special time. So start by putting yourself in an environment that allows you to be productive, that allows you to be creative. So even if that means waking up earlier, even if that means staying up later, that's what you got to do. So research also tells us that our brains may be protecting us at times. And this is backed by research. It says chronic stress often affects the prefrontal cortex, which helps with focus, planning, and decision making. So stress doesn't just affect your emotion, it is it affects your ability to even think clearly. And I know this to be true because when we're overwhelmed and our brain starts shifting into survival mode and survival mode, and we start feeling the fear in our bodies and all the things that we've been carrying, the trauma, the grief, the financial pressure, the motherhood, caring for people, uncertainty, all the things just pent up in our bodies that once we're under stress, all those things start coming out. And I can speak personally for me. I've been balancing motherhood, hustling, healing, marriage, music, entrepreneurship, not even to mention the friendships and the relationship building, constant networking that you have to do to be able to create a healthy, sustainable life. It's so many hats. It's so many hats. So at points in times, my brain just wants to shut down so I can protect my energy. So I don't have to think and constantly be making decisions of whether I need to send another email or whether I need to send a text, or maybe I need to call a friend, or maybe I need to call my family, or maybe I need to check in with this person, maybe I need to check in with that person. And all these constant decisions that we're making, we're never really getting a chance to breathe. And what was a really helpful reframe for me was thinking that my brain isn't broken, it's just protecting me. So when my body feels so much fear in it because I'm experiencing something new, something unfamiliar, it's just a little confused, right? Because sometimes the trauma that's still living in our body is sending signals to our brain when we're in scenarios that are triggering that trauma and it's making us think that we need to take a step back, or some sometimes that fear it can feel paralyzing, even. So it's it's good to know that our brain works in this way. Our brain loves us so much, right? And our brain loves us so much and it just wants to protect us. So even when we are stressed out and we want to press through and push on, and for some reason we're just not feeling it, that's probably our brain intervening, letting us know that we need to take a second to number one create a safe space for ourselves to take a breath, say a prayer, drink some water, and get that time, that time in to even be in a conducive environment to be able to create any sort of momentum. So if we don't give ourselves a break, our brain definitely will. Okay, point number three. Sometimes procrastination is fear. Hmm, I know that all too well, and I'm sure if you're watching this episode, you know that too. But researchers have actually found procrastination is linked to emotional regulation issues, not poor time management. That was a big aha moment for me. And it's so sad. We think we're lazy, we we think we're incapable, we think we're not able to do the things that God called us to do, and we rule ourselves out. But it's so much under that. It's so many layers. It's the fear of failure, it's the fear of judgment, it's the feelings that we've been avoiding for years that's coming up, and it's creating this paralyzation, and if that's even a word, but it's creating that moment where we're stopping ourselves from really fully trying. It's the fear of disappointment, it's the fear of success, the fear of finding out we're not as good as we had hoped. So, what if the task isn't even the problem? What if it's the emotions connected to the task? So, what if you're not avoiding doing the thing or avoiding the project or avoiding the book or avoiding making the song or avoiding starting the business? What if you're avoiding the feeling that we think is gonna happen if we do the thing? If we're not as good as we had hoped, if we do fail, if people don't give us the response that we're looking for, if we end up reaffirming all the insecurities that we had as a child, whatever it is. Maybe it's not the fact that you're lazy, maybe it's not the fact that you don't have the motivation, maybe it's not the fact that you are incapable. What if it's just the fear of feeling that disappointment and sadness if it doesn't work out? And that's a very different place to look at yourself from. One, or you can look at yourself with more love and self-compassion. Even at times when I'm extremely overwhelmed, especially if I'm doing something creative like writing a song or writing my book, have patience. Sometimes I just need to give myself a hug. Literally hug myself like this, and rub my arms. Now I'm sure this is connected to some somatic therapy, some, you know, some exercises when it comes to healing the nervous system. I'm very sure it is. There was even so. I'm actually I'm gonna have some announcements very soon, but I'm actually gonna be working with a trauma recovery organization. And one of the exercises that one of the organizers shared with me was this butterfly tap of doing like this. And if you're listening on podcast, you can't see me doing this, but I'm taking my hands and I'm crossing them at the thumbs like a butterfly, and I'm fluttering my fingers like butterfly wings against my chest. And the very feeling of that pattering is allowing my nervous system to settle. So that is an instant way that you can calm yourself in the moment when you feel overwhelmed or rifled with emotions and rifled with things that are triggering you from your childhood or your adulthood, your youth, whatever the case may be, that's a good instant, instant thing that you can use to get yourself back on track. So you do not keep avoiding the thing that you really, really want to do and the thing that you know God has placed you here to get moving on. Point number four: burnout and laziness are not the same thing. The World Health Organization describes burnout as exhaustion, increased mental distance from work, and reduced effectiveness. Now, here's the key difference. Lazy people don't usually feel guilty about resting, but burned out people feel guilty all the time. So if you've been beating yourself up because you haven't been able to move forward with the energy and gusto that you really want, ask yourself, are you really lazy or are you just exhausted? Those are two different things. As a mom who is balancing a healing journey, hustling, and figuring out how to build this personal brand and business that connects with people, it's a lot to manage all at one time. And it's easy to want to beat yourself up for all the ways that for all the balls that you feel like you're dropping in the midst of you trying to keep everything afloat. I get it, I totally understand, but you cannot shame yourself into having more energy. That actually doesn't help, and that actually leads me to my next point. Point number five: the way you talk to yourself matters. We have to speak to ourselves with love, and sometimes we have to be the cheerleader that we wish we had in our corner. And some of us may be lucky to have those people in our corner cheering us on, reminding us of how special and wonderful we are. But for those of us who do not have that, it's so much more important for you to create again the time and the space for you to be able to speak life into yourself, whether it's through mirror work, whether it's through writing your own affirmations, whether it be utilizing AI tools like Claude or ChatGPT to be able to, or perplexity, right, to be able to ask questions relevant to what you're going through, whether it be give me scriptures related to feelings of burnout and what does God's word say about that? Or maybe you or your person that you need scientific research, you can also ask these AI tools to give you evidence, scientific-backed evidence to give you reasons to not feel like you want to shame yourself or beat yourself up. These are all things that you can do and take immediate action on today. And many of us think being hard on ourselves creates discipline, but it's actually pushing ourselves further away from actually doing the thing because we're actually discouraging ourselves. So treating yourself like someone worth helping is gonna help you. And I really love this. I love this question because it really helps me a lot of times. Like if you're you had a friend that was going through exactly what you're going through and feeling the way you were feeling, what would you say to them? And Brene Brown actually says that we need to talk to ourselves like people we actually love. Okay, growth grows better with encouragement than condemnation. And if you are a Christian, you know that God does not give the spirit of condemnation. Not the case. Point number six small wins change everything. Now, this is backed by research. So behavioral science consistently shows that small wins build confidence and momentum. Sometimes we do end up making our goals a little too big. We want to write the whole book tonight, we want to lose all the weight by tomorrow, we want to build the whole business in a month, and we want to heal completely in two days, right? But that usually doesn't happen. Okay? It starts with one page, one workout, one phone call, one prayer, one application, one act of courage. And for me, it took several months to even walk again after surviving the Pulse Nightclub shooting, to walk again on my own without needing crutches, without needing a wheelchair, and without really needing extra support on my legs. So, for those of you that don't know, I was shot twice in my legs, and the bullet that entered my right thigh actually shattered my femur. So there's this long metal rod and screws that I have in my leg today. In the beginning, it was excruciating. And when I tell you, I did not have the motivation or the energy to want to do physical therapy. I did not want to do it. So, of course, there were moments where I wanted to beat myself up and talk negatively about the fact that I even had to do this. I was stuck in this why loop of why me, why this had to happen. And it really drained my momentum of even starting and even having the mindset going into the physical therapy sessions with an open mind to be able to get some progress done. But you have to look at it like this it's either you want to stay where you are, or you want to at least try to get to where you want to go. And for me, I knew I wanted to be back in heels, and I wanted to be back in heels by my 21st birthday. So pulse actually happened when I was 20. And I knew that for my 21st birthday, I wanted to live it up. Okay. I wanted to have heels on, and I did not want to be wearing crutches while walking, okay, and looking cute. So for some people, that may work for them, but I had a personal goal, and that personal goal really drove me to finding the momentum to move forward because I envisioned myself having my heels on and having a great time. Okay. And I didn't start by walking the mile in one day. That's not what happened. It took one exercise over and over again until I perfected it and to move on to the next one. That consistent repetition over and over again until I actually had some breakthroughs and enough of them to where I actually was able to get my cast removes from my legs. It was like wearing this thing where I had to wear to keep my leg together so it didn't, you know, go all over the place, right? And from that to actually walking on my own by my goal. But again, it took one exercise at a time. It didn't happen overnight. And it took a lot of tears, and it took a lot of pressing through when I didn't want to, but it got done. For those of you that have been following the show and listen to the show, I always talk about the MVP. What's your MVP? What's your minimum viable push that you can do today to build some momentum to keep moving forward? And we have to change the way that we're talking to ourselves because if we're looking at ourselves as a person that's lazy, that's trying to do a thing, it's never going to happen. But if we're looking at ourselves from a champion lens of somebody who's been through many things, who survived many things, who's overcome many things, and maybe need to take a break here or there, but we're going to get back up and get going, that's a different perspective. Big transformations are built on small promises that we keep to ourselves. So what we really need to get in the practice of is keeping the promises that we make to ourselves in private, because only we know the dreams that we have truly and how big they really are. And only we know if we're keeping our word to ourselves. So maybe you're not lazy. Maybe you're just overwhelmed, maybe you're burned out, maybe you're grieving, maybe you're even afraid, maybe you're healing. And if that's true, the solution isn't more shame. The solution is understanding what you're carrying and taking the next small step forward. So, if this episode helped you in any way, let me know in the comments. Let me know, reach out to me, talk to me. I want to know if this impacted you. And it also lets the algorithm know if this podcast, if what I'm saying is actually making a difference at all in anybody's lives. Unfortunately, that's the game. We actually have to have these engagement metrics in order for it to make a difference. So let me know in the comments what you think. And as always, if this blessed you, share this with someone, someone else, who actually needs the support as well. And I'm building a community here. It's I've had this podcast for a couple years now, but I haven't really taken the extra step of building the community online and being present in that way because I was healing my own halo. Hello? But now I'm at that point where I want to transition from healing to sparkling, and I want to take as many women with me on that journey. Okay. If anything at all helped you today, subscribe to the podcast on YouTube, like this video, share it with someone you love, and also if you're listening on podcasts, download the episode, leave a review, let me know what you're thinking, and as always, I hope today, I hope this episode put a spark back into your Halo.