Season 7 Episode #30 The Art of Difficult Conversations: Navigating Cultural Differences

Having hard conversations about culture, equity, and identity isn’t easy—but it’s essential. In this episode of The Cultural Curriculum Chat, I break down a practical, 4-step framework to help you navigate cross-cultural conversations with courage and empathy.

🌍 You’ll learn how to:

• Pause before reacting and ground yourself
• Listen deeply to others’ lived experiences
• Name the cultural tensions instead of avoiding them
• Shift from “winning” the conversation to finding solutions

Whether you’re leading a workplace team, guiding a classroom discussion, or navigating family dynamics, these tools will help you turn discomfort into growth.

✨ Tune in today to learn how difficult conversations can become powerful bridges to understanding.

👉 Ready to take this further? Explore my coaching sessions and workshops at www.jebehedmunds.com

COME SAY Hey!!

Instagram: @cultrallyjebeh_

Facebook: @JebehCulturalConsulting

Pinterest: @Jebeh Cultural Consulting

LinkedIn: @Jebeh Cultural Consulting

Leave a Review on our Podcast! We value your feedback!

Buy My New Book the Orange Blossom: www.jebehedmunds.com/book

Follow our Blog

Enroll In Our Mini Courses
Buy My eBook: Empowering Your BIPOC Students

Enroll In My Digital Course: How To Be A Culturally Competent Leader

Buy My K-12 Lesson Plans

Sign Up For Our Newsletter

Enjoy the Cultural Curriculum Chat podcast? Share the love! Refer a friend to Buzzsprout and both you and your friend will enjoy exclusive benefits. Click ...

Transcript

0:36

Welcome back to the Cultural Curriculum Chat. I'm Jebeh Edmunds and today we're diving into a topic that every leader, educator, and parent needs, how to have difficult conversations across cultural differences. We've all been there sitting across from a colleague, student, or even a family member, knowing we need to say the hard thing, but feeling the weight of misunderstanding, discomfort, or fear of offense. So my question to you is, why does it matter in the terms of strengthening our courageous muscle and having those difficult conversations? It matters because when we ignore difficult conversation, it only fuels inequities and even resentment. So here's some things I want you to think about when it comes to having difficult conversations. A lot of us feel that depending on the relationship with that other person, if you feel that you might get retaliated against if it's at work or reprimanded. I have this really simple framework for success. It's four parts. Pause, listen with empathy. Name the tension. Seek solutions, not winners. Okay? You're going to have defenses up. That's just a natural quick reaction when it comes to stuff, when you have to call out. Offensive statement. You're going to have that person who said it feel very shame, and very defensive. Maybe it could be the opposite. Very angry, and why you are picking on them. They take it very, very personally. So with this framework, I want you to think about this example. I love doing case studies with my clients, and we go over these scenarios of what would you do in this situation? How would you pause, listen with empathy, name the tension, and seek solutions. And so here's an example I want you to try with me. The example is a workplace discussion about microaggressions. Or a classroom parent teacher conference about equity in curriculum or even a boardroom conversation on representation. So let's start with the first one, a workplace discussion about microaggressions. Here's an example. One person might say, Ugh, why do we have to go through this all the time? I don't see color. I see you jba. I just see you. I don't see color. So they're giving me a microaggression about microaggressions. So. I would pause before reacting, don't let my emotions lead the conversation, and I would just say, you know what? I heard you say that you don't see color. Why do you have a reaction to the word color or race? I would start there. Oh, I just see everybody as the same. I understand that, but the. The deciphering thing to really see everybody is not as the same or as equals in that sense, but the fact that we are all different and our differences are our strengths, there's nothing wrong with being different and looking different. So I would pause, then I would listen with empathy, you know, really hear their lived experience. And then share your own lived experience. Well, you might see me as Jebba, the individual, the colleague, but I also take pride in being a black woman and also understanding that there comes a opportunity and a cost when it comes to being a black woman in our society. Not everybody knows me as you know me at work. But I have to show up in this world. Being a black woman and how people perceive me as a black woman is a lot different than how you would perceive me. And I take being a black woman as a badge of honor, not as a hindrance or. Something that should be shameful or being embarrassed of. So that's me listening and, hearing maybe her lived experience was they were taught in their generation not to see people by the color of their skin, by the content of their character. Paraphrasing Dr. Martin Luther King. But what. The context behind that speech is to see me as that human being in front of you, because so many of our bodies at that time were getting lynched and oppressed and in danger. So that's why he wrote that speech at that time. So now in this time that we're living in. Learning from that person's lived experiences say that was then and now as we evolve as a society, this is how I want you to see me in the world as a whole person and as a whole person. I am a woman of color. Name the tension. Acknowledge that cultural differences only. I understand that you have your opinion and I have mine, but we also need to understand that this is how I would like to be. Recognized, you know, that is something you can name. That is something where, you know what? That statement that you said, I don't see color. I see jba. That really made me feel uncomfortable and let me share why that made me uncomfortable. Now with this name, the tension, when things have happened, especially in my own lived experience, it takes me a while to process how I wanna thoughtfully respond. To situations like this. So when I'm having a difficult conversation with a colleague or with a parent, I have to really rehearse and think about how I'm going to approach this situation. And that's something I really want you to take heart in this framework. It might not all happen all in one sitting. You might get that. Microaggression, you might get that macroaggression, and sometimes you have to think about, okay. How am I going to respond? I can't control how people react towards me, but I can control how I respond. And so naming the tension, that statement still does not sit well with me or I feel a certain type of way when someone says, I don't see color, or what's the big deal? I feel like it's minimizing my. Identity in front of you, and they might say, oh, I'm so sorry I didn't intend for that to happen. And you can say, I appreciate that apology, but your intentions outweigh the impact of your statements. And that's something a lot of us tend to clam up on and be afraid to even share that. And trust me, I'm in this experience with you all too, and it's hooked me a lot of courage to rehearse. Those statements that statement made me feel a certain kind of way. Your impact outweighs your intention. And how we can flip that perspective of making those, um, conversations. And yes, you're gonna have the sweaty palms. You're gonna feel so uncomfortable. You're gonna be like, jab, this would've been way better as an email. Why are you making me do this? But I feel so many of us hide behind our keyboards, nothing. And we know in today's world, nothing can get fully solved and resolved without that human person to person connection. That's why we're here. That's why we have civil discourse, right? And that is a part of it. You might not be in situations where you check all four of these things and it isn't a success for you. You might go, man, that really stunk, Jeb. Thank you, but no thank you. Right? But it comes with practice and being consistent and standing in your own, actively listening to what's going on to the situation. Actively asking those around you to. Share in that and to say, can we make this a teachable moment for all of us so we don't repeat the harm that has been done? How do we repair this harm to move forward? Another example, if you're having a parent teacher conference, right? And you've got this parent that comes to you and, oh, they're mad. Why are we doing this ethnic holiday in your lesson plan? Raise my hand. I've had that before. Right? There's gonna be times where you have to pause and say, okay, well, when we talk about historical events, we need to know that not just one group of people we're affected by this event. So we are learning in our timeline of the people and the places, and. Who was missing in that narrative? We treat our students to be critical thinkers, and you might think it's something extra or an extra pile on to make you or your feelings hurt, but that's not the case. I always tell my students that we need to learn our history. We need to learn these significant events and significant holidays so we can. Understand where people's voices and perspectives are coming from. So I would listen with empathy in the sense of hearing that family member or that parent share their feelings. And then I would say, I hear your frustration, but I would do the best that I can, that everybody is represented. When it comes to an event in our situation, and if you have any further frustrations, please take it up with my supervisor or here's the curriculum specialist phone number if you would like to voice your concerns. But as a part of my job, I have to. Teach the curriculum that is in front of me and so that part, you can listen that part you can listen with empathy and hear their lived experience, but you also have to back up your. Objectives and your expectations as you are the teacher in that practice, in that classroom. You can also name the tension. I see you're getting really frustrated, or I understand why you might be feeling some kind of way. I see that, I understand that feeling for your lived experience, but my job is to show the uncomfortableness of things. That's what we have to do. And then I'm gonna seek a solution. I would say, and if you would like some further notes of what we're gonna be talking about and discussing, here's a little sheet of the books or the resources. That you can go home and watch yourself, so you have a better understanding of what your student is going to be learning from. And so that is the solution that I would give in that situation. So again, there's all kinds of examples, but I want you to think about when things happen to pause. Before reacting. Don't let your emotions get in the way. I know we are all, I'm very passionate too, but I have to pause. I need to process, listen with empathy, and of course, name the tension, acknowledge cultural differences openly. I understand your lived experience, but here's a lived experience of this subject that we're learning. Here's a lived experience of, how I feel when that statement is said. And then the solutions. I'm not here to say Booya, I got you two points for Jeb. No, I want us all to have that common ground to say, yes, it was uncomfortable, but I said and spoke my piece. And you spoke your piece, and we can move further from that. So. Taking these difficult conversations. They're not roadblocks, but they're bridges to growth. That's how we have these conversations. Um, it will feel difficult and it is difficult, but it's also something that I know in your heart, if you were to walk away, you would've said. Mm, I wish I would've said something or, oh, if I could go back again and redo what I learned, I would love to know how that person would've reacted to me. Continue to practice. Those four steps, I'll have those four steps in the show notes so you've got it to go back for a reference. If your organization is ready to move past surface level, de and I work and lean into real transformation. I offer direct coaching and custom workshops. Head over to my website and book a confidential coaching session with me today at jebehedmunds.com. Remember, courageous conversations. Change the culture. Start small, stay consistent, and watch your workplace, classroom, or community transform. That's all I have for you today. I can't wait for you to share this episode with someone who feels stuck in knowing how to conduct a professional. Conversation that is difficult but needs to be done. I'll see you here same time next week. Bye-bye.