Season 9 Episode #8 Unlearning to Become: A Conversation on Identity, Healing, and Letting Go with Ginny Priem

In this powerful episode of The Cultural Curriculum Chat Podcast™, Jebeh Edmunds sits down with Ginny Priem—keynote speaker, Master Certified Professional Life Coach, best-selling author, and host of the Unsubscribe Podcast.

Together, they explore what it truly means to “unsubscribe” from the beliefs, expectations, and identities that no longer serve us.

This conversation dives into identity, healing, cultural expectations, and the courage it takes to let go and rebuild.

 In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What it means to “unsubscribe” from limiting beliefs
• How identity and lived experiences shape our choices
• Why letting go is necessary for growth
• Practical steps to begin your healing journey

If you want to stay connected with Ginny, you can find her at:
🌐 ginnypriem.com
🎧 Listen to her podcast: Unsubscribe Podcast
📱 Instagram: @ginnypriem

Transcript

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Jebeh Edmunds 0:25

Welcome back to the Cultural Curriculum Chat podcast, the space where we explore identity, culture and the stories that shape who we are and how we show up in the world. I'm your host, Jebeh Edmunds, and today's conversation is one that's so many of us. Need, especially in a world where we're taught to hold on instead of let go. Today I'm joined by Ginny Priem, a keynote speaker, master certified professional life coach, bestselling author, and the host of the unsubscribe podcast. Ginny's work centers around helping people release what no longer serves them so they can step fully into who they are meant to be. And today, Ginny is diving into identity unlearning and what it really means to reclaim your voice. Ginny, welcome to the podcast.

Ginny Priem 1:22

Hi Jebeh. Thank you for having me.

Jebeh Edmunds 1:25

Oh, thank you for being here. Let's start where it all began. Your origin story, you know, what inspired you to journey into this work and was there a moment or experience that made you realize something needed to change?

Ginny Priem 1:42

Uh, there was a big moment, Jebeh and, uh, it's a juicy one, so I prepare yourself. Mm-hmm. Brace yourself, so. You know, here I was working my corporate job, uh, climbing the corporate ladder, loving life, being single, traveling a lot for my job, and then, you know, traveling a lot for fun too. It's like I love experiences and seeing new places and, you know, in my free time I'd spend time with my dogs and my friends, and then one day I was introduced to this guy, Chad. And I was not in interested in dating him because I just explained how good my life was, right? Like, why mess with a good thing? Um, but I also wasn't interested because he had two kids and that just wasn't territory that I wanted to venture into. Well, spoiler alert, I decided to date him and, uh, you know, kind of broke down, broke down my walls, and I fell in love. Then I met those two kids and I fell in love two more times. So I find myself in places that I never imagined, right? Like instead of stepping in, you know, on the beach in Greece, I am stepping on Legos in my house and I'm not even mad about it, right? I'm, instead of having lobster on the beach, I'm having popcorn for movie night on Fridays, and I have this instant family. They eventually move in here. Of course split time between us and, and their mom, who is wonderful and amazing. And, you know, I am finding myself in places I never met, like school pickup lines and drop off lines. I'm, you know, doing the laundry. I'm paying all the bills, making sure the house is clean, the lawn is mowed, doing the grocery shopping, still traveling and, and, you know, have this big job. And I actually loved it. I loved every bit of it, like having the sense of family. It was not a life I ever imagined for myself, but I was thriving in it and everything was good, like life is good. Until one day I was traveling home from a work trip and a friend reached out and wanted to urgently meet for cocktails at 10:00 PM on a Tuesday. And all day, I'm wondering. What is so big? Because this is not like a, like I like a cocktail or glass of wine, but not in the middle of the night on a Tuesday. And this was also not that kind of friendship. Like we would do coffee or workouts, you know, type of thing. So this was very unusual.

Jebeh Edmunds 4:13

Yeah. Like a red alert. Mm-hmm.

Ginny Priem 4:15

Yeah, like total red alert and I'm like all day wondering what is going on with her. That is so big and so important. That she needs to have cocktails with me at 10:00 PM on a Tuesday. So I'm like racking my brain going, you know, what is going on with her? Could it be this, could it be that? And how do I just show up and be a good supportive friend? I get to the restaurant, she's crying, empty drink, stack of papers in front of her, and I'm like, I've been so worried about you all day. What is going on? And she said, it's not about me, it's about you. And it's actually about Chad. The guy that was at home in my bed, in my house, she proceeds to display an arrangement of evidence about him, and turns out he was a complete monster and fraud in every single way imaginable. And that was the turning point for me. That was when my life imploded and, uh, you know, what inspired me to do the work that I do today and make a complete pivot, a complete, you know, reinvention, uh, of my life. It didn't happen immediately. It had happened over time.

Jebeh Edmunds 5:30

Wow. I'm just like. Just the fact that just visualizing you going there, meeting your friend and you're thinking, I'm here to support her. But the support was for you. Like she wanted to protect you to say, this is what you know is happening. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Wow. It was, that is was almost like

Ginny Priem 5:50

I walked in the restaurant, one woman with a certain life, and then I left that restaurant like facing a completely different life.

Jebeh Edmunds 5:58

Yes, a completely new reality. And again, like having to unlearn what you knew and how are you gonna pick up the pieces of what your truth was before you walked in. Wow. Wow. So that leads to, okay. Um, like you said, your life completely imploded. You had all these beliefs and patterns and expectations with this man and his children. Now let's talk about this unsubscribe like your podcast. You know, like how does, how did you unsubscribe from the life that you knew?

Ginny Priem 6:36

Yeah. So unsubscribe while letting go is the secret to getting ahead. That's my newest book. If you're interested in all the juicy details about Chad, that isn't my first book. You're my favorite. Okay. So that was kind of the, the start of everything. And I develop, I developed unsubscribe because it's. A filter, a system, tools that I wish I had at that point in my life when I was completely over-functioning. You know, I had the big fancy job and the title and you know, the salary and you know, all the benefits. But again, I was completely over-functioning and at the peak of it. I had abnormal precancerous skin lesions removed, my hair all broke off and fell out. I got shingles on my face in my thirties, which is not normal. So my body was screaming at me that something was wrong. And had I had the, you know, foundation of unsubscribe, I think it potentially could have. Um, you know, helped me or prevented me from that. So the, it's a filter to reclaim time, energy, and boundaries at work and in life. And it's built on the foundation of four pillars. And they're not necessarily silos. You can weave them in and out. You can use 'em at work, at life. I have people saying, we're ha-, I'm having conversations with this, with, you know, about this with my teenagers at the dinner table. And that just like makes my heart swell, you know, if we can, you know, I think there. There's a lot of ways that we can apply, uh, we can apply this. So I share in the book different stories, um, you know, my own realizations or ways that I think people will apply it, but the most rewarding part is when I'm doing my keynote speeches, how people. You know, like respond back to me and say, this is how I am applying it or how I will apply it. And it's so vast. It's such a universal principle and it that's been really, really rewarding.

Jebeh Edmunds 8:28

I love that Ginny, and like you said, we are over-functioning in some capacity. You know, in your job, your, your, your partnerships are, you know, and I'm the oldest daughter of like, you know, four daughters, so I'm just like, you know, there's a joke, like you're the family manager and then you have your own family and you're managing that, you know, and so I was so excited with this conversation about letting go, like, what are things in my own patterns in life and beliefs that I can let go of and, and. You know, unsubscribe to, because you're right. You know, there's so many expectations, especially as women, like, you have to get the job, you have to do this, you have, you know. And on the outside it looks like it's perfect and you got everything going on for you. And then, like you said, beneath the surface of it all, like your body is, you know, telling you something's off, something is not okay. And, and I feel like too, when you're talking about. You know, with your body screaming at you, a friend screaming at you in the sense of like, something's off, something's wrong. You need to go back to yourself and, and find that grounding thing of finding who you truly are, you know? That is so important. And what do you think too with your books that you've written? You know, why does letting go seem so difficult? You know, why are we still gripping onto what those expectations are when our body and friends are telling us this is not right?

Ginny Priem 9:58

Well, I think you nailed a lot of it. I, you know, in what you just said, societal pressures of what women especially think we should be doing. I think that there's a lot of outdated systems and expectations of what success looks like that have completely changed, and I really want to. Tossed that on its head with this whole unsubscribe movement because you know, we stay in jobs too long. We stay in relationships too long. I think, you know, one of the things that came up in a keynote a couple weeks ago, the person that introduced me, I had no idea. She was like, I'm like a longtime fan. I listened to Ginny's podcast and here's how I've been talking about unsubscribing. She shared this story about comparison. She had done this project, it was uh, Valentine's Day and her and her daughter sat down. They did the Valentine's Day box, you know, to do the Valentine's Day exchange. And they brought it in and, you know, they did all the stickers and whatever and were so excited and brought it in. And then they saw a different girl's Valentine's Day box that was. Better than theirs. And so she started to have like the mom guilt, like, oh, well maybe I should have tried harder and comparing herself and whatever. And she literally was like, I quickly was able to know I needed to unsubscribe from that comparison and find the lesson in the story was. The gift of the time that I got to spend with my daughter doing the project, right? Sometimes we attach ourselves to outcomes versus processes or you know, the end result versus the experience. And so there's a lot of different ways that we can apply this. The things that we tell ourselves, you know, all or nothing mentality. Um, you know, outgrowing. Outgrowing, you know, outdated versions of ourselves and that's all okay. But I think we do put pressure on ourselves and there's like the societal pressure of like, oh my gosh, what are people gonna think? Right? If I end this friendship or if I end this relationship, or if I leave this job, we would never do anything if, if that's all we were, you know, we would just be stuck in this cycle of not doing things. If we're constantly worried about what other people think and nobody knows better, what's better for you than you.

Jebeh Edmunds 12:05

Yes. That's so true.

Ginny Priem 12:06

So I think a lot of it comes back to self-trust. Um, knowing and trusting ourselves, especially as high performing women.

Jebeh Edmunds 12:13

Yeah. And that's the thing because. Just like you said, the societal pressures, I feel like it's been pressured to the nth degree. 'Cause we have so many apps out there, and like you said, with that mother daughter walking in and thinking it wasn't good enough. I mean, when we were kids, we were so excited with that, you know, cleaned out ice cream bucket, you know, for our Valentine, like, you know, put a couple stickers on there and it was like, yes, we got it. We have our bucket, you know, we're ready to go. But you see apps out there that they go to the nth degree and you gotta have this special thing, and it's got, you know, the balloons have to look right and you just, mm-hmm. You do get in that spiral, Ginny. That is so true. But to trust ourself is, it feels like it's the last resort, but that's the whole, the whole time of, you know, working with your child to create this project together. And you, you nailed it with the outcomes. Like, we have to have this perfect thing to make sure that we're up, you know, we're up to snuff with everybody else, and that just wastes so much time and so much energy. Now let's talk about. You know, this is great experiences like, um, with our own experiences, you know, that shape our work today. Can you give us an example of like cultural expectations and how people don't show up in their lives fully? You know, you talk about how we do show up and have that, that guise, that veil, but how about when we don't show up fully in our full selves?

Ginny Priem 14:49

Oh my gosh, that's a, that's a loaded one. Jebeh. I think that, you know, I think if you're not fully, uh, if you're not, one of the things that I always say is I think it's kind of a red flag when everybody likes someone.

Jebeh Edmunds 15:01

Yes.

Ginny Priem 15:02

Because I think you're not being fully authentic. Like I fully know that there are people that don't like me and I'm fully okay with that.

Jebeh Edmunds 15:14

Same.

Ginny Priem 15:14

Yes, I'm not for everybody, right? Like I always like to say I'm not everybody's cup of tea because I'm champagne darling. Right? But. You know, if you, if you aren't showing up fully as yourself, what are you even doing? Nobody can be you better than you, right? Like we kind of just talked about nobody knows what's best for you, better than you, and we've gotta get to this place of trusting ourselves. But, the precursor to that is getting to know yourself, and that requires discomfort of. Sitting with yourself, being with yourself, doing things with yourself. Not just being alone, but actually doing things with yourself. Knowing what brings you joy, happiness, peace, enlightenment, what you don't like, what you do like, you know. And so, it's kind of this whole journey and paying attention to who you're surrounding yourself with. Uh, that's been a big part of unsubscribe for me is like people. I had to really evaluate who I had around me, and it's part of my, you know, family of origin and the patterns and behaviors, which is why I picked Chad as I call him. Yeah. Um, so it's, there's a lot that goes that goes into that. And I think, you know, when you, when I think back to what you were saying of like that whole comparison thing, we have to keep in mind what we see on social media is what people want us to see. It's not real. It's not reality. Yes, you're maybe getting a little piece of reality, but it's also not a full picture. So one of my favorite spreads in, uh, my new book, unsubscribe, is I think it's page 1 0 7. It's in the swap pillar, and I give you all of these different ideas of ways and things that we can swap. And so one of the things that I think is really important that we need to unsubscribe from is comparison. But if you can swap that for inspiration. That can be a really powerful, it's, it's small, right? Like that's a small, not everything has to be burning things to the ground and you know, completely starting over. But if we can take all of our experiences and, you know, unsubscribe from the things that aren't serving us anymore to welcome in more of the good, it kind of creates space for that. So that, I love the swap pillar because there's so many little tweaks that we can make. It doesn't have to be overwhelming or this complete overhaul.

Jebeh Edmunds 17:31

Yeah, I love that and and like you said, swap it from comparison to inspiration. Like what is something in that that moved you to be a better person, higher self, you know, just it just so amazing. And also too, what I also heard you say, Ginny, is. When you're doing this unsubscribing, so many of us, we feel like we have to hang on because of what will people say? But I love how you change that mindset to unsubscribe. Like, yeah, I, they don't need an explanation why I am unsubscribing them. They don't need an explanation of that friend. I'm letting go. It's for you, for yourself and like, what are you doing for yourself? I love that. So when we have that friend, or even ourself, 'cause I know our listeners, some of us feel stuck, overwhelmed. You know, the weather is not helping in Minnesota, you know, everything's so gray and they don't know where to begin. Can you give us like one of those four pillars you were talking about that we can use to make that change today to help unsubscribe?

Ginny Priem 18:33

Hmm. I love what you kind of said in terms of. Worrying about what other people are going to think, um, and hanging onto things for longer than we should. So there's the whole, because there are two things I wanna say about that. There's the whole idea of the sunk cost fallacy, right? You invest in something for so long, so then you think you need to keep investing in it. But it's, you know, that's literally the definition of insanity. If you expect it to change and you keep doing the same thing, that's insane. Yeah. Um, but. On the topic of other people's opinions, people are going to have an opinion no matter what, so you might as well do what makes you happy and makes you you, and let them judge you for that.

Jebeh Edmunds 19:19

Yes.

Ginny Priem 19:20

So unsubscribe from guilt. I mean, there's so many things. One of the activities I do in my keynotes is I make an unsubscribe wall and I give everybody, I put post-it notes out on the tables before, and then when something comes up or resonates that we're talking about, they go and put it up on the wall. And sometimes it's fun because, uh, you know, I see a lot of themes like guilt, shame. Other people's opinions. I'm gonna unsubscribe from comparison judgment, you know, all a lot of the things that we've talked about already. And then sometimes I'll get people that'll have like a laundry list. I'm like, how did you fit all those things on this one little Post-it note? And those are my people. I was like, oh my gosh. Like I love that you're really taking this and going, okay, here's all of the ways that I'm going to apply this. But there's a lot of small tweaks that we can make. Again, if we use the swap idea, you know, it applies to life work, you know, think about. Women having this all or nothing mentality? Yes. Right. Oh my gosh. Well, I don't have 60 minutes to work out today, so I am, you know, I might as well not do anything at all. Can you do 10?

Jebeh Edmunds 20:21

Exactly, yeah.

Ginny Priem 20:22

Or if you're a runner and you can't run, can you walk? Can you swap it for a walk or something more gentle like yoga, there's a, there's so many ways that we can apply this where it is these small shifts that eventually make a big difference.

Jebeh Edmunds 20:35

I love that. And you know, even to unsubscribe to that mean girl in your head too, you know, 'cause that's the one, like, you didn't get your 60 minutes in, you're a failure. You're this, you're that. And you're like, no, I can swap it for my 10 minutes. I can do 10 minutes. I could do a walk. You know, I could read maybe 10 pages and not the whole, you know, two chapters that I was gonna keep up with book club. You know, so those are the types of things that I just love that, of letting go and swapping. I love that. And it, it's such a simple, I. And. Not so overwhelming task. And I feel like when people want to do a big mindset shift, they feel like there's this huge mountain that they have to, you know, conquer before they do it. But like you said, those little simple tweaks, Ginny, is what makes you step one foot full, you know, further in front of the other. Oh my goodness. And here's one, I have a couple questions before we leave. 'Cause this is, I'm just like soaking in everything you're saying, Ginny, because so many of us at this time, you know, we're gonna have this go live, you know, in June. So halfway through the year and people are already having their New Year's resolution. We're doing this new year, new me, and when they get to June they're like, oh dang, I didn't even. Start, you know, this new year, new me. So we get this guilt halfway through the year going, oh my gosh, you know, how am I gonna unsubscribe? And I love this. How can we, you know, continue to keep that momentum going with our friends that, you know, when we're in January and then now it's June and we're like, dang, I haven't even touched the surface of what I wanted to do. What is your, your motivational, like, quick thing to kind of get them out of their head space and just keep going.

Ginny Priem 22:19

Well, first of all, I unsubscribe from New Year's resolutions, and if you know anyone that that part is still like on track in June, I mean, if they're on track. Past like January 15th. Bravo. I mean, I think that's, you know, I think that's one of the things that I, you know, I definitely unsubscribe from. Um, you know, I think that it's, you know, what to inspire people to keep going is kind of this constant evaluation, like unsubscribe. I love that you said it's simple. Yeah. Simple. Not necessarily easy. It's simple to apply. It's simple to remember and so that's why I like, that's why I have four pillars, because they can all weave in and out of. One another. It's also actionable. It's not just this flippant ignoring things or walking away from them. Right? You know, a lot of times I'm like, what do you wanna unsubscribe from? And people are like, taxes. And I'm like, okay, let's be realistic. You know, there, there are certain things we can't unsubscribe from and that's why there's the manage pillar, right? So there's certain things that we can't just completely block and remove even if we would like. So maybe we need to manage it and we need to think about. You know, say it as a, a relationship. You brought up friends. How do we keep, you know, friendships going? Well, I always say pay attention to your emotional bank account. unsubscribe helps you start treating your time and energy as the valuable assets they are. Treat them as valuable as of assets as you do your money.

Jebeh Edmunds 23:41

Yes.

Ginny Priem 23:41

And it will make a big difference in your life. And so sometimes we need to manage the relationships in our lives by how much time we're spending with them, how frequently we are, or the type of interaction that we're having. So it kind of depends on where you're at or what challenges you're facing, but there's a way that you can, there's a way that one of these pillars can help you address it one way or another. I love that. So it's kind of like, oh, I love that. Revisiting it. And there's workbooks revisiting, there's workbook sections too to kind of help you stay on track and stay accountable.

Jebeh Edmunds 24:12

I love that and I love that you have those reflective tools too. So when it comes to mind, you can write it down within your book and, and keep moving forward. Oh, this is awesome. Ginny girlfriend, I could talk to you all day. This has been such an enlightening conversation and you really having me thinking of your four pillars look like, okay, what can I. Swap. What do I need to manage? You know, and again, I have unsubscribed to those New Year's resolutions because it's like I'm not setting myself up to fail. I just wanna have some tweaks to keep this movement going and, and stay consistent. And I love how your. unsubscribed method is sustainable. You know, you can apply it to multiple facets of your life, not just one silo. And then that's it. And that's why I love how you weave it into multiple things in your life. So Miss Ginny, where can we find you on this journey? We wanna get your book. We wanna get all things Ginny Priem. Where can we find your work?

Ginny Priem 25:14

Well, Jebeh, I like to keep things simple, so everything of mine is my name. So my website is ginnypriem.com. If you're looking for a keynote speaker, um, you can find my books there, um, and everything, all my socials, all my socials are Ginny Priem, my YouTube channel, LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, all of it.

Jebeh Edmunds 25:31

Love it. Love it. And I will definitely have that in the show notes. Oh, Ginny, thank you so much for being a guest today and just talking about how letting go and unsubscribing to things that no longer serve you. And listeners, please share this episode with that friend or even with yourself and others that want to learn more about Ginny's work and how you can unsubscribe to things that no longer serve you. Oh, Ginny, thank you so much for being a guest and until next time, keep showing up, keep growing and keep honoring your story and you know, unsubscribe to things that don't serve you anymore. 'Cause who's got time? Who's got time? Oh, thank you Ginny, so much. And see you all here. Same time next week. Bye-Bye.