Season 1, Episode 2: “Seeking Hott Lady Anthropologist w/ Ph.D. Primate Expert a Plus
Singers: Who’s walking down the street on her beat? Who’s volunteering because she’s so sweet? Doris Anderson, she’s the lezzie lady that you all want to meet. She’s sexy, she’s sapphic, she’s Doris Anderson, and she’s in heat.
Doris: I’m Doris Anderson and you’re listening to In Heat. A community service podcast for self-identified lesbians and anyone else out there who wants to support lesbian content. GBTQAI allies welcome.
[Instrumental theme music swells and fades out]
Doris: [00:00:52] You know what’s been on my mind lately? How there are so many sexy women out there.
And I have a particular soft spot for women with Ph.D.’s. There’s a seductive, tenacity radiating off of them that says, “I can isolate myself for 10-years in a library to research and write a dissertation – but when I’m done, I’ll be an animal in bed.”
And if their Ph.D. has anything at all to do with primates, well that really rings my bell.
Well, I’m not embarrassed to say I have a mad, fantasy crush on a one Dr. Patricia Patterson. I don’t even know if she’s into girls or not, I don’t even want to know if she is married! But honestly, do you know ANY serious anthropologist out there who isn’t kind of single?
And for my listeners, you may not recognize Penny’s name, but I’m sure you all know who Koko the Gorilla is. Most people know Koko because of her extremely popular YouTube videos. One of the more famous videos is of Koko meeting Mr. Rogers.
Look – here’s how brilliant Penny is: When she was a graduate student in 1971, she was doing a study on apes to find out if they had the capacity to learn American Sign Language – and if so – could they communicate with humans using ASL?
And, as luck would have it, a baby gorilla was born at the San Francisco Zoo! This baby gorilla was named Koko and Penny got permission from the zoo to work with Koko daily and teach her sign language.
Well, sure enough, that Koko learned more than one-thousand signs and had the vocabulary of a human toddler.
Koko eventually inspired The Gorilla Foundation, giving her a permanent home where she would be taken care of for the rest of her life.
My Lord, check out the foundation’s website at koko.org.
Well, Koko died about a year ago, at the age of 46. The news of her death made national headlines. I happened to pick up a copy of New York Metro News to read about the details.
And the news article went on and on about all the amazing things Koko did and learned throughout her life.
Then, at the end of this wonderful article there was a little caveat. It said, quote, “Another primate expert, Herbert Terrace, dismissed Penny’s work with Koko, claiming that Koko – and other primates like her – were only reacting to their human teachers.” End quote.
The second I read that, I put the paper down. When a sentence contains information about a “man” “dismissing” a “woman” alarms go off.
I thought, I’ll bet you the bank there’s something really wrong with this Herbert guy.
That noted, I picked up the paper to continue. I quote, “Terrace also added that Penny refused to recognize it because she was an ‘overzealous mother who is very proud of her surrogate children and tends to project meanings onto those children that may not be apparent to another observer.’” End of quote.
Can you believe that?
The statement Herbert Terrace should have made was, quote “I am blind with jealousy over Penny’s experiment, which was a success in countless ways, while my similar experiment was a disaster. P.S. I’m a misogynist.” End quote.
Let me tell you what I found out about Herbert. I googled the shit out of Herbert Terrace because I wanted to find out what made him so jealous of Penny.
And, here’s the scoop on Herbert: He’s a professor at Columbia University and in 1973, he headed up a study working with a with a newborn Chimpanzee, he wanted to challenge the idea that only humans have language. And this chimpanzee was named Nim Chimpsky.
Well, there is so much news out there about this experiment with Nim, and most of it is bad news.
There is article after article about all the tragic mistakes that were made during this so-called experiment. In fact, there’s even a documentary about it titled “Project Nim”. Talk about a tear jerker, it covers what a catastrophe the whole thing was.
And to top it all off, when Herbert was — oh, this is awful — “done” with Nim, he shipped Nim off to The Institute for Primate Studies in Oklahoma. Then, this institute sold Nim to a pharmaceutical animal testing laboratory. And, after Nim was tortured, Nim was finally purchased by Black Beauty Ranch so he could live out the rest of his life protected from anymore cruelty.
Thank you, Black Beauty Ranch, which, if my listeners don’t know, is an animal sanctuary.
I still can’t believe Herbert had the creepy audacity to “dismiss” Penny’s work.
Penny is a brilliant researcher and she’s a compassionate human being. And, she made sure Koko had a comfortable, safe and loving “forever” home. Thank you, Dr. Penny Patterson.
And the moral of this whole story is: Herbert Terrace is a BOZO.
[00:07:01] And now, a word from our sponsor.
We would like to thank our sponsor, but In Heat does not have a sponsor. However, since many of my listeners are animal people like myself, this would be a perfect opportunity for some organization – such as the Jane Goodall Institute to run a spot on this podcast!
Right, listeners? You all know Jane Goodall is famous for her work with Chimpanzees? And your donation to the institute helps protect the Chimpanzees.
I don’t know if the Jane Goodall Institute knows this, but they could really have all the lesbians wrapped around their little pinky if Jane Goodall herself did the commercial.
Even though Jane is probably about 85 years old now, she is such a heart throb in a sort of Ann Bancroft/Mrs. Robinson, sexy anthropological kind of way.
Gals – I am sure you have seen videos of Jane on YouTube, or images from her organization of her all buttoned up to the neck in camouflage denim that says: “You’ll never get a look at THIS!”
You know, I never see pictures of her smiling. EXCEPT for photos or video footage where a chimpanzee is climbing all over her. I mean, have you EVER seen that woman smile when she’s not with a chimp? It’s like she’s saying, “YOU can’t have me, but ALL the chimpanzees can – ALL of them.
Jane do you know how many thousands and thousands of women who volunteer at animal shelters look up to you? Of course you do! That’s why you’re always asking for donations for The Jane Goodall Institute! You know we are going to bleed out our bank accounts every time you show a picture with a monkey wrapped around you.
God, Jane, you don’t need to remind me one more time that I’ll never make you smile like a monkey does.
Excuse me.
I just want to remind the Jane Goodall Institute, that not only lesbians, but all of their G/B/T/Q/A/I allies who listen to this program are often animal lovers and would be thrilled to donate to help the Institute continue with their research and conservation work.
Anyway, that’s been a word from our not-sponsor.
And now, back to our program.
[Instrumental theme music swells in and out.]
[00:09:28] Welcome back to our program. We were talking about the late Koko the Gorilla who was in a study focused on communicating with humans using and how some people, with their heads up their asses, criticized the validity of this study.
Well, I do have some good and recent primate related news to report. Radio host, Terry Gross, interviewed a fellow named Frans de Waal on the NPR program Fresh Air.
That Terry Gross. Mmmm. We’ve all heard her sexy voice, but have you seen her? God, she is adorable! I’d love to give her a roll in the hay and see if I could bring out her sexual fluidity.
Anyway, Frans is the director of the Living Links Center at the Yerkes National Primate Research Center, published a book in 2019 titled “Mama’s Last Hug: Animal Emotions and What They Tell Us About Ourselves”.
In this book, Frans maintains that animals have emotions, and, a wide range of emotions just like we do.
Any cat rescuer can tell you that.
And, he has coined the word Anthropodenialism – which means we are in denial if we don’t think animals are like us in so many, many ways.
And, the scientific community is slowly starting to get on board with Frans.
But may I point out, for DECADE’s Penny has been saying the very same thing on how we have so much in common, especially emotionally, with animals – only she has been “accused” of anthropomorphism – like she was committing a crime!
Oh my God – Penny is an incredible ground breaking scientist!
And there are so many more women out there who go overlooked –
What about mathematician Katherine Johnson she – God – She helped put a “man” on the moon!
And ARTISTS like Alice Guy-Blanche, who wrote movies, directed movies, produced movies – She did one-thousand movies!!! And she lived until 1968 – and we’ve never heard about her.
Look, I could just go on and on and on… about the long list of names we never hear!
Anyway, hat’s off to Penny. I wonder what Penny is doing these days since the death of Koko. I hope she is doing something wonderful for herself. Penny, if you’re out there, I’d love to chat with you over a cup of coffee. Lord knows I’ll never get Jane to return any of my calls.
Well, that’s the end of our show. and speaking of Anthropodenialism it’s time for out Pet of the Week.
[00:12:29] The Pet of the Week is brought to you by the Alphabet City Cat Rescue & Shelter where we’re always looking for volunteers to help our furry friends.
[Instrumental theme music swells and fades]
We usually don’t get things like this, but I’m looking for a home for a hamster—who is LOADED with personality. In fact, have you ever noticed how a rodent’s eyes look like they’re bugging out of their head? That’s because their frontal lobe is so stuffed with emotions it’s practically pushing their eyeballs out of their sockets.
Take that, Herbert.
Anyway, this little hamster got dropped off on the doorstep of the shelter in a cardboard box with a little blue receiving blanket in it – and this little fur baby is a female Syrian hamster with gorgeous markings. She has a little gray in the fur around her mouth leading us to believe she is about 2-years old. Hamsters only live to be about 2 years old, so this would be ideal for a little kid begging their parents for a pet, but who you know will lose their enthusiasm for it in about four weeks. Timing is everything.
Interested parties should get in touch with me, Doris Anderson at Doris@In-Heat.com. That’s Doris, the @ sign, In, the dash sign, heat, dot com. And I will connect you with the Alphabet City Cat Rescue and Shelter.
[Instrumental theme music vamps pianissimo]
That’s all for today folks! I’m your host, Doris Anderson, and you’ve been listening to IN HEAT. Please “LIKE” us on Facebook, or pay a visit to our website, www In dash Heat dot com. And please join us next week for a new episode of In Heat.
[Instrumental theme music crescendos and vocalists sing]
Singers: She’s sexy, she’s sapphic, she Doris Anderson, and she’s in heat!
END
