Talk with God pt2 - #280

In this episode we continue our look at what it means to F.E.A.R. God. 

Prayer is much more than bringing God a list of requests. It's an ongoing conversation that deepens our relationship with Him and gradually shapes our hearts to desire what He desires. Today we're going to build on that foundation as we discover what Scripture teaches us to pray for—and why praying God's priorities changes everything. 

Transcript

 Welcome to The Point of Purity Podcast—a weekly Bible study designed to help you pursue lasting purity, spiritual integrity, and a deeper walk with Jesus Christ. I'm Steve Etner, and I'm so glad you've joined me today. Last week we began looking at Choice Number Five from Proverbs chapter 2: learning to talk to the God of the Word. We discovered that prayer is much more than bringing God a list of requests. It's an ongoing conversation that deepens our relationship with Him and gradually shapes our hearts to desire what He desires. Today we're going to build on that foundation as we discover what Scripture teaches us to pray for—and why praying God's priorities changes everything.

So, what should our prayers actually look like? Maybe you’ve wondered that before. Perhaps you’ve heard a pastor pray or listened to a mature believer use beautiful, flowing words, and quietly thought, “I could never pray like that.” Have you ever felt a little intimidated by prayer? I think many Christians do. We wonder whether we’re saying the right things. We worry that our words aren’t spiritual enough, polished enough, or impressive enough. Somewhere along the way, we may even begin imagining that God is grading our prayers like a teacher grading an essay.

But here’s the wonderful truth: God is not impressed by fancy language. He is interested in your heart. He isn’t asking you to impress Him. He is inviting you to draw near to Him. Genuine prayer flows from a heart that reveres God, trusts Him, and sincerely wants to know and follow His will. When you come to Him honestly, humbly, and openly, that kind of prayer honors Him far more than the most eloquent speech ever could.

Thankfully, Jesus did not leave us wondering how we are supposed to pray or approach God. He gave us a beautifully simple roadmap. He removed the pressure and showed us that prayer is not complicated, nor is it reserved for a select group of spiritually advanced believers. Listen carefully to what Jesus says in Matthew seven, verses seven and eight: “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.” Three beautifully simple words. Ask. Seek. Knock. Simple enough for a child to understand, yet deep enough for us to spend our entire lives learning how to live them out.

Let’s begin with that first word: ask. Jesus says, “Ask, and it will be given to you.” God wants you to come to Him and ask. He invites you to bring your needs, fears, anxieties, questions, doubts, struggles, concerns, desires, and longings directly to Him. Sometimes we hesitate because we think our request may be too small or too personal. We wonder whether it’s important enough to bother God with. But my friend, you are never bothering God when you pray. If something matters to you, it matters to your Heavenly Father. He already knows what is happening in your life, but He still invites you to talk with Him about it. Not because He needs information, but because He desires relationship.

Now there’s something fascinating about the word Jesus uses for “ask.” In the original language, it is written in the present tense, active voice, and imperative mood. Please don’t let those grammar terms scare you. They’re actually incredibly practical. The present tense means this is an ongoing action. Jesus is not saying, “Ask one time, and then move on.” He is saying, “Keep asking. Continue bringing your heart before your Father.” Prayer is not meant to be a one-time request. It is meant to be an ongoing conversation. We come back to God again and again. We continue bringing Him our needs, our questions, and everything weighing on our hearts. Prayer becomes less like a scheduled appointment and more like a continual conversation with the One who knows us best and loves us most.

The word “ask” is also written in the active voice. That simply means the action belongs to us. We are the ones who must choose to ask. Prayer is not passive. It is not sitting back and hoping everything somehow works itself out. It is intentionally stepping into the presence of God and laying our hearts before Him. God already knows your thoughts, but He still invites you to speak with Him. Every time you pray, you are actively choosing relationship. You are welcoming His presence and wisdom into whatever you are facing.

Then there is the imperative mood. That means Jesus is giving us a command. He isn’t saying, “You might want to consider praying if you have some extra time.” He is saying, “Ask!” And I find that incredibly encouraging. Jesus commands us to ask because He knows how desperately we need God. Prayer is not an optional addition to the Christian life. It is a normal and essential part of walking with Him. Just as we are commanded to love others, forgive those who hurt us, trust God, and obey His Word, we are also commanded to pray. Why? Because the Christian life was never meant to be lived in our own strength.

To ask is to bring your heart honestly before God. It means talking with Him about your needs, struggles, hopes, fears, joys, temptations, disappointments, and the things keeping you awake at night. You don’t have to pretend that you have everything together. You don’t have to polish your words. You don’t have to perform. You simply come as you are. And asking reveals something important about your heart: it reveals dependence. When you genuinely ask God for help, you are admitting that you don’t have everything under control. You are acknowledging that your wisdom, strength, and resources have limits.

And listen carefully—needing God is not a weakness. Spiritually speaking, that is where genuine strength begins. King Me says, “I’ve got this.” A heart that fears God says, “Lord, I need You. I can’t do this on my own.” Those are two completely different ways to live. Every time you ask God for help, guidance, wisdom, or provision, you are making a choice. You are choosing  dependence instead of self-reliance. Trust instead of control. Faith instead of fear. You are saying, “God, I believe You care about this. I believe You hear me. And I trust that whether Your answer is yes, no, or wait, You know what is best.” Asking is an act of faith.

Over time, prayer stops being something you do only when life falls apart. It becomes a regular way of living. You talk with God about your decisions. You bring Him your worries. You thank Him for His blessings. You ask for wisdom when you don’t know what to do. And the more you practice this kind of honest asking, the more you realize that prayer is not merely a way to receive things from God. It is a way to walk closely with God.

Now Jesus doesn’t just tell us to ask. He also attaches a promise: “Ask, and it will be given to you”. Most of us naturally hear that and think, “If I ask God for something, He will give me exactly what I requested.” Sometimes He does. God absolutely answers prayer. But we need to understand this promise in light of everything Scripture teaches us about God’s goodness.

Psalm eighty four verse eleven says, “The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.” Psalm eighty five, twelve says, “The LORD will indeed give what is good.” And Romans eight, verse twenty eight reminds us that God causes all things to work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Those passages help us understand the promise of Matthew seven. Jesus is not promising that we will receive everything we ask for exactly as we imagine it. He is promising that our good Heavenly Father will always give what is truly good. And sometimes what God calls good looks very different from what we originally had in mind.

We often approach God with what could be called a wish list. We pray for better health. Success at work. A repaired relationship. Less stress. A solution to a difficult problem. An open door. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with bringing those requests to Him. Jesus said in John sixteen, twenty four, “Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete.” James chapter four verse two reminds us, “You do not have because you do not ask God.” God invites us to ask.

But what feels good to us in the moment is not always what is best for us in the long run. We often want the quickest solution, the easiest path, or the most comfortable answer. God sees what we cannot see. He knows what will shape our character, deepen our faith, draw us closer to Him, and ultimately bring Him the greatest glory.

Prayer slowly begins reshaping our desires. Instead of asking only, “God, will You give me what I want?” we begin asking, “Father, will You give me what is truly good?” That is a major shift in spiritual perspective. Instead of clutching our plans tightly, we begin holding them with open hands. We learn humility. We develop patience. And we begin trusting that God’s wisdom is infinitely greater than our limited understanding. Sometimes God answers exactly as we hoped. Other times His answer looks very different. Sometimes, rather than removing the difficulty, He gives us strength to endure it. Instead of changing the situation immediately, He begins changing us right in the middle of it. And when our hearts are aligned with Him, we can receive His answers with peace instead of frustration.

Without that surrender, we measure God’s goodness by how closely He follows our plans. But when our hearts are yielded to Him, prayer moves us from trying to control the outcome to cooperating with what God is doing. At the center of all of this is one truth we must never forget: God gives what is good because God Himself is good. Jesus said in Mark ten, eighteen, “No one is good except God alone.” Psalm thirty four verse eight says, “Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!” And Psalm one hundred seven, one, declares, “Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!”

When you pray, you are not approaching someone who is reluctant, stingy, distracted, or indifferent. You are coming to your loving and gracious Heavenly Father, whose very nature is goodness. God will always give what is truly good because everything He does flows from His perfect wisdom, His unfailing love, and His absolute goodness. So ask. Keep asking. Come honestly. Come humbly. Come dependently. And trust the goodness of the Father to whom you are praying. But Jesus doesn’t stop there. He says, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find.” And that next word—seek—takes us even deeper.

That raises an important question. What exactly are we supposed to be seeking? Are we seeking an answer to our prayer? A solution to our problem? Relief from the pressure? Are we seeking direction, healing, freedom, or some kind of breakthrough? There is nothing wrong with seeking God’s help in any of those areas. He invites us to bring every part of our lives before Him. But Scripture consistently points us toward something greater than merely seeking answers from God. We are to seek God Himself.

Jesus said in Matthew six, thirty three, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.” Isaiah fifty five, six says, “Seek the LORD while he may be found; call upon him while he is near.” David expressed that same wholehearted desire in Psalm sixty three, verse one, when he cried out, “O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you.” And in Jeremiah twenty nine, thirteen, God gives us this wonderful promise: “You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” Do you see the common thread running through those passages? The primary purpose of prayer is not simply to find answers. It is to find God.

If we are not careful, our prayer life can slowly drift in the wrong direction. We can become so focused on the gift that we lose sight of the Giver. We spend all our energy asking for solutions, open doors, healing, direction, relief, or victory. Before long, our prayers can become more about what God can do for us than about who God is. Without even realizing it, prayer can begin feeling like an attempt to negotiate results. “God, if I do this, will You do that?” “Lord, if I pray hard enough, will You give me what I want?” “Father, if I promise to change, will You remove this problem?” But prayer was never meant to be a negotiation. Prayer is an invitation into relationship. It is how we draw near to God. It is how we come to know Him more personally. It is how we worship Him, listen to Him, and align our hearts with His will.

Prayer is not just a tool for fixing our circumstances. Prayer is fellowship with God. And when we begin to understand that, the way we pray starts to change. Instead of merely chasing what God might give us, we begin valuing His presence more than His presents. I really want you to think about that. Do you desire the presence of God more than the presents from God? Do you want His face more than His hand? Do you want to know Him, or do you simply want Him to make your life easier? Those can be uncomfortable questions. But they are important ones, because they reveal what is truly motivating our prayers.

There is nothing wrong with wanting God to act. There is nothing wrong with praying for healing, provision, protection, direction, or deliverance. God repeatedly invites us to bring those requests to Him. But the greatest blessing of prayer is not merely receiving something from God. The greatest blessing is drawing near to God Himself. The greatest answer to prayer is relationship with your Heavenly Father.

Now, just like the word “ask,” the word “seek” in Matthew 7:7 is written in the present tense, active voice, and imperative mood. We have already talked about what those terms mean, so let me put it simply. Jesus is commanding you to actively and continually seek God. Not occasionally. Not only when life falls apart. Not only when you need a quick answer. Keep seeking Him. Seeking God is not a one-time event. It is not something we do once, check off our spiritual list, and move on. It is meant to become the ongoing direction of our hearts. A heart that fears God continually turns toward Him. It seeks Him in the morning. It looks for Him in His Word. It talks with Him throughout the day. It searches for His wisdom when decisions must be made. It looks for His hand when life becomes confusing. And it longs for His glory in every circumstance.

The more you seek God, the more you begin noticing Him. You start seeing evidence of His faithfulness that you may have overlooked before. You become more aware of His presence in the ordinary details of your day. Your trust deepens. Your thoughts begin changing. Your desires slowly start lining up with His. Seeking God becomes less like an occasional spiritual activity and more like a way of life. And Jesus uses the active voice because seeking requires our personal involvement. You cannot outsource your pursuit of God. Your pastor cannot seek God for you. Your spouse cannot seek God for you. Your parents cannot seek God for you.

Listening to a podcast can encourage you. Reading a good book can challenge you. Going to church can strengthen you. But no one else can develop your personal relationship with God on your behalf. You must seek Him. You must open His Word. You must come to Him in prayer. You must turn your heart toward Him. God is always present. He is always working. But He invites you to actively participate in your relationship with Him. That means showing up. It means bringing your questions. Bringing your struggles. Bringing your doubts. Opening your Bible. Leaning in. Listening. And choosing to pursue Him again and again.

This is where we once again see the difference between King Me and a heart that fears God. King Me seeks whatever will satisfy King Me. Comfort. Pleasure. Recognition. Control. Success. But a heart that fears God says, “Lord, more than anything else, I want You.” David expressed that desire beautifully in Psalm twenty seven four, “One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD.” Did you hear the focus in David’s prayer? “One thing.” David certainly had problems. He had enemies. He faced uncertainty, danger, betrayal, heartache, and fear. There were plenty of things he could have asked God to change. But beneath all those requests was one consuming desire. He wanted God. He longed for the presence of God. He wanted to gaze upon God’s beauty. He wanted his life centered on the Lord. Let me ask you something personal. What is the “one thing” you are seeking? What occupies your thoughts? What captures your attention? What do you believe you absolutely must have in order to be satisfied? Is it success? Approval? Sexual pleasure? Comfort? A relationship? Financial security? Or can you honestly say, “Lord, above everything else, I want to know You”?

Don’t answer that too quickly. Because what you seek reveals what you treasure. And what you treasure reveals what you worship. Jesus not only commands us to seek. He also attaches a remarkable promise to it. “Seek, and you will find.” So what will we find? Jeremiah chapter twenty nine, verse thirteen answers that question clearly. God says, “You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” The promise is not merely that you will find answers, solutions, or even the specific outcome you originally wanted. The promise is that you will find God Himself.

Now, Jeremiah is not describing a casual interest in God. He is not talking about giving God a few distracted minutes whenever it is convenient. God says, “You will find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.” There is wholeheartedness there. Sincerity. Focus. An undivided desire to know Him. God is essentially saying, “When you genuinely come after Me—when you sincerely want to know Me—you will find Me.” What an incredible promise. God is not hiding from you. He is not playing some kind of spiritual game in which He keeps moving farther away while you desperately try to locate Him. He wants to be known. The God who created the heavens and the earth has made Himself available to you.

Let that settle into your heart for a moment. The holy, sovereign, majestic Creator of the universe invites you to seek Him—and promises that when you seek Him wholeheartedly, you will find Him. Not maybe. Not if you are fortunate. Not if you are educated enough, talented enough, or spiritually impressive enough. “You will find Me.” Knowing God is not reserved for pastors, theologians, missionaries, or people who appear to have everything spiritually together. You do not have to be extraordinary to find God. You simply have to seek Him sincerely.

The greatest barrier is not God’s unwillingness to be known. More often, it is our divided attention. We say we want God, but we also want the world. We want His will, but we also want our way. We want His presence, but we are unwilling to release the distractions that keep pulling our hearts away from Him. We want God—but we also want King Me to remain on the throne. And God says, “Seek Me with all your heart.”

So let me gently ask you: Is your heart divided? Are you seeking God wholeheartedly, or are you giving Him whatever attention remains after everything else has taken its share? My friend, the God who created everything wants you to know Him. And when you genuinely seek Him, you will discover that He is not distant. He is not cold. He is not uninterested in you. He is near. He is faithful. He is gracious. He is worthy of your complete devotion. Finding God does not mean suddenly having every question answered or every problem resolved. It means discovering the One who will walk with you through every unanswered question and every unresolved problem. You may not find the explanation you wanted. But you will find the God whose wisdom can be trusted. You may not find immediate relief. But you will find the God whose grace is sufficient. You may not find the path becoming easy. But you will find the God who promises never to leave or forsake you.

That is the incredible promise behind the words of Jesus: “Seek, and you will find.” Ask expresses dependence. Seek expresses desire. And now Jesus gives us one more word. A word that teaches us persistence, confidence, and the incredible access we have to our Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ. He says, “Knock, and it will be opened to you.” Do you see the progression? First we ask because we recognize our need. Then we seek because we've discovered that what we need most is God Himself. Now we knock because we have confidence that our Heavenly Father is inviting us into His presence.

Once again, just like "ask" and "seek," the word "knock" is written in the present tense, active voice, and imperative mood. In other words, Jesus isn't saying, "Knock once and then walk away." He's saying, "Keep knocking." Keep coming. Keep pursuing. Keep drawing near. Prayer is not a one-time conversation. It is the continual privilege of entering the presence of God.

I love the picture Jesus paints here. Jesus is teaching us to pray with confidence. Not confidence in ourselves. Confidence in God. Hebrews four, sixteen says, "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Think about that. God doesn't tell us to timidly peek through the window. He doesn't tell us to stand outside wondering if we're welcome. He doesn't tell us to wait until we've cleaned ourselves up enough to deserve an invitation. He says, "Come." Come boldly. Come confidently. Come because you know the One on the other side of the door.

Now, boldness should never be confused with arrogance. We don't march into God's presence demanding that He give us everything on our wish list. We don't treat Him like a vending machine where we insert a prayer and expect Him to dispense exactly what we ordered. Our confidence isn't based on our worthiness. Our confidence is based entirely on His grace. The reason we can knock with confidence is because Jesus has already opened the way. Hebrews ten nineteen says, "Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus..." And Paul echoes that same truth in Ephesians chapter three verse twelve, reminding us that "in Christ Jesus our Lord... we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in him."

Think about what that means. The holy, sovereign Creator of the universe is not tolerating your presence. He welcomes it. He isn't irritated every time you pray. He delights in hearing the voice of His children. That ought to change the way we think about prayer. So many believers approach God almost apologetically. "Lord... I'm sorry to bother You." "I'm sure You're busy." "I know there are more important things going on." Can I lovingly remind you of something? Your Heavenly Father never says, "Not now." He never rolls His eyes because you've come to Him again. He never gets tired of hearing His children call His name. He invites you to come. Again...And again...And again. Even on your worst day. Even after you've failed. Even when you feel ashamed. Even when your faith feels weak. Even when your prayers seem clumsy and inadequate. Because your acceptance before God has never been based on how well you pray. It's based on what Jesus has already accomplished for you.

That's why prayer isn't an intrusion. It's an invitation. Prayer isn't interrupting God. Prayer is responding to His invitation to come near. And here's something I don't want you to miss. When Jesus says, "Knock, and it will be opened to you," He's talking about far more than receiving answers. He's talking about relationship. Every time you knock, you're choosing fellowship over independence. Dependence over self-sufficiency. Faith over fear. You're saying, "Father, I'd rather spend time with You than try to figure life out by myself."

That's what the fear of the Lord produces. It produces hearts that continually come back to God. Not because they have to. Because they want to. As we've looked at these three words—ask... seek... knock—I hope you've noticed something. Prayer isn't becoming more complicated. It's becoming more relational. We ask because we're dependent. We seek because we desire God. We knock because we know we're welcome. And when those three become the rhythm of your life, prayer stops feeling like a religious obligation. It becomes one of the greatest joys of your relationship with your Heavenly Father.

That, my friend, is exactly why Proverbs two tells us to "call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding." People who fear God don't merely know about Him. They talk with Him. Regularly. Honestly. Humbly. Confidently. Because they know the door has already been opened through Jesus Christ.

As we wrap up today's episode, let me leave you with one simple question. How is your conversation with God? Not your church attendance...not your Bible knowledge...not your ability to say the right spiritual words. I'm asking about your relationship with your Heavenly Father. Are you asking? Are you seeking? Are you knocking? Those three simple words from Jesus describe a lifestyle—a heart that continually depends on God, pursues God, and confidently draws near to God. That's the kind of relationship the fear of the Lord produces.

Now, next week we're going to move on to the sixth and final choice found in Proverbs chapter two. We've received God's Word. We've treasured it. We've listened to it. We've meditated on it. We've learned to talk with the God of the Word. But there is one final choice that ties all of these together, and honestly, I think it may be the most practical one of the entire series. I hope you'll join me as we discover what it means to search for God's wisdom like hidden treasure and why that pursuit changes everything.

Before we go, I'd like to remind you of a resource that I think could really encourage you if you're serious about growing in your walk with Christ. It's my book, Living Free: Victory through Surrender, available now on Amazon. You see, everything we've talked about over these last two episodes points to one simple truth: real freedom isn't found in merely talking to God—it's found in surrendering to Him. Prayer isn't about convincing God to bless our plans. It's about allowing Him to reshape our hearts until His desires become our desires. That's exactly what this book is all about. Together we'll walk through the ongoing battle of the heart. We'll explore worship, temptation, surrender, and what it really means to follow Jesus from the inside out. You'll discover why so many believers remain trapped in the same struggles—and more importantly, how God leads us into genuine, lasting freedom. Perhaps the most important lesson you'll discover is this: lasting victory over sin doesn't come from trying harder. It comes from surrendering more completely to the One who knows you best and loves you most. So, if today's study has encouraged you to become a person who doesn't simply talk at God but genuinely walks with Him, I'd encourage you to head over to Amazon today. Search for Living Free: Victory through Surrender, or simply search for my name, Steve Etner, and pick up your copy.

Before we close, could I ask you a personal favor? If this series on the fear of God has encouraged you, challenged you, or deepened your walk with Christ, I'd really love to hear from you. What has God been teaching you? How has He been using these episodes in your life? Would you take just a minute and send me an email? You can reach me at steve@thepuritycoach.com. Again, that's steve@thepuritycoach.com. I read every email personally, and it would be a genuine privilege to hear your story. I'd also count it an honor to pray for you.

And if you haven't already subscribed to The Point of Purity Podcast, I'd encourage you to do that today so you won't miss next week's episode as we conclude our study of Proverbs chapter 2 and discover the sixth and final choice that leads us to understanding the fear of the Lord. Until then, this is Steve Etner reminding you that if you're going to glorify God in your everyday living... He must first be glorified in your every moment thinking.