There is a depressingly relentless cycle of political strife and military conflict between peoples, nations, and religious cultures in our world. There is constant suspicion and segregation in our cities and communities between black and white, rich and poor, right-wing and left-wing. The list goes on. There is even tension between colleagues at work and cruelty and hurt in our homes. Is it possible for human beings to stop fighting? Can there ever be lasting peace within our communities and cultures? The answer is yes. There is a peace and unity that happens between people when they come to know Christ. He unifies us in the only way possible. There is no greater hope for peace!
There is a depressingly relentless cycle of political strife and military conflict between peoples, nations, and religious cultures in our world. There is constant suspicion and segregation in our cities and communities between black and white, rich and poor, right-wing and left-wing. The list goes on. There is even tension between colleagues at work and cruelty and hurt in our homes. Is it possible for human beings to stop fighting? Can there ever be lasting peace within our communities and cultures? The answer is yes. There is a peace and unity that happens between people when they come to know Christ. He unifies us in the only way possible. There is no greater hope for peace!
On a scale of thumbs up to thumbs down, how would you rate your conflict resolution skills? Thumbs up=You live to make peace between people, thumbs middle=You can do it but you’d rather avoid it, and thumbs down=You live to pour gasoline on the fire. How would you rate yourself? As much as I would like to be a “thumbs up” conflict resolver, if I’m being honest with myself, I trend much more toward avoidance rather than confrontation. It’s fair to say that all of us, from little on have been placed in conflict situations whether it’s over a Barbie, or how to finance your retirement, and often it feels like we only have two choices: Fight back by exerting your will or avoid it. The challenge for us of course is that we don’t have to go out of our way to find conflict. It’s everywhere. Click on any political social media post, and what you’ll find in the comment section, it’s not peace and harmony between people. Walk into the electronics section in Walmart, and you may hear a child or two and a parent or two arguing over a video game. Get on the Turnpike and experience what a world without peace and tranquility looks like. Of course, we aren’t simply casual third-party observers of conflict. It is Mother’s Day after all, as we thank God for mothers and for the positive female role models God placed in our lives, but such personal thoughts can’t help but bring to mind personal conflicts. It’s no secret that the family unit in America is hurting, and maybe that’s where your family is. There are these emotional walls between you and your loved ones. This hostility that’s said or left unsaid makes you feel separated, and you feel like there are two choices set before you: Avoiding the conflict or fighting to exert your will. Neither option seems too realistic in bringing true peace into your life. But what if there is a third choice?
In general, we as Americans struggle with conflict resolution. I’m not just talking about Capitol Hill or the debt ceiling but about the everyday level of life. Maybe you can remember a time when people didn’t have high walls separating yards. Maybe you can recall as a kid walking down any street in your neighborhood with the only rule being: “Be home by supper time.” Today is much different, yet it’s really much the same. It’s clear to see where most Americans stand when it comes to resolving conflict. People have so many platforms to express their views, but this expression often isn’t for the sake of beneficial conversation, but to find superficial affirmation. What our society sees as peace is letting every viewpoint have equal status, letting people be, and if we all stay in our lanes, if we all avoid talking about the disagreement, then we’ll have peace.
The Ephesians bought into this conflict avoidance strategy too. Now, if you went to one of their house churches, what you’d likely find are people smiling, engaging in small talk, and worshipping together. All good things! Except beneath the surface, there was a wall. In these churches, you had Jewish believers and Gentile (non-Jewish) believers, and whether they verbalized it or not, they saw a wall. When Paul talks about the “circumcision” verse the “uncircumcision,” that’s what he’s getting at. Many believers thought Jewish believers were in a way closer to God because of their ethnicity and history. In this tight-knit church family, which had been through a whole bunch of adversity, there was a conflict bubbling beneath the “smiling-face small-talk” surface. The temptation was there: Avoid talking about that wall of hostility and you’ll have peace.
I know this may be an intrusive question, and it may make you uncomfortable, but why else would we come to church but that God’s truth would expose the darkness and that he brings light and healing? Here’s the question: Are you underestimating, doubting, and minimizing what the peace of Jesus can do? I know this going to get personal, but we need to go there. Is Mother’s Day something you’d rather avoid? Is it that annual tradition for you to process yet again the pain of a mother figure in your life who’s either gone or who was gone from your life even before she died? Is Mother’s Day in your family that time when you all get together and you put your happy face on, when there are conflicts ready to burst any minute? There may be no more social awkwardness to the point of emotional pain than sitting in a room with people you’re supposed to be close with and avoiding the very wall that’s pushing you away. Can you see what the problem is? So often we settle for an “avoidance” kind of peace. As long as we can put on a happy face, and avoid the walls of hostility, then we experience tranquility and harmony, but that’s not how real peace works.
Peace requires the sacrifice of “coming near.” Peace doesn’t happen by avoiding, thinking less, creating more distance, and building more walls. Peace requires a first move. The peace of Jesus has overcome the infinite distance between us and God, yet we doubt and we minimize the reality that Jesus died not only to bring peace between us and God but between us and other people. When we avoid, distance, and separate, we are saying that God’s peace isn’t enough, isn’t effective, or would only make things worse. So what God needs to do for us today in his grace through his Word is to open our eyes again to the full extent of the peace only Jesus can give.
If you think your family conflict, maybe even the disconnect with your mom is impossible to reconnect, God wants you to know the power of his peace. As the Ephesian Christians were struggling with conflict avoidance, Paul walks into a potentially awkward conversation, not to mention the awkwardness of circumcision being at the center of it, but he needed to bring Jesus into that conversation. So much for “don’t talk about religion or politics!” But before he does, he gives them a reality check, because to truly treasure Jesus who himself is our peace, the Ephesians just like us needed to realize just how disconnected we once were from God. He says, “You were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world.” In other words, sin created a wall between God and humanity. To be in God’s family, to experience God’s peace, we couldn’t come close to it. In fact, what does Paul say? We were without hope and without God. The wall was there and in our sin, we couldn’t care less. God could’ve rightfully avoided us, but look at what he did instead, “But now in Christ Jesus, you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.” Jesus made the first move to create true, lasting, life-changing, eternal-life-giving, wall-busting peace with God, by shedding his own blood. The blood that tore down the hostility of sin that kept us from his loving presence.
For all the times we’ve avoided conflict, underestimated God’s peace, or desired to simply force people to agree with us, Jesus shed his blood, tore down the wall, and gave us peace. Do you know what peace is? Look at what Paul says, “Jesus himself is our peace.” He broke down the barrier between us and God and not only did he reconcile us to God, but what else does Paul say? “His purpose was to create in himself one person out of the two, thus making peace, and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility.” Jesus shed blood so we could have access to the Father. He shed blood so we could be at peace with one another.
You and I who were so far away now aren’t aliens or strangers to God, but “members of God’s household.” Members of God’s family, just like we’re celebrating Duane, James, and Gemma becoming baptized children of God. Children of God who hear Jesus preach “peace to those who are far and those who are near” through the Bible. Jesus crossed the greatest distance ever from heaven to earth because there was something between you and him, there was a wall keeping him from you. Your sin made it impossible to be in God’s presence, so Jesus took on our skin, followed everything God said to a T, and then even as we still pushed him away, he went to the cross and made right all the things sin had made wrong between us and God. Do you see why this peace is personal not only for you but for Jesus?
This peace point is something I cannot thank my own mom enough for. My mom is without a doubt the person who made the biggest impact on me growing up. Of course, just like for all of us, not all of that impact was perfect, but there is one thing she would always say that I will never be able to thank her enough for. No, it wasn’t “don’t get your undies in a bundle” when I was upset, which is really good advice don’t get me wrong! She would say, “Remember Jonny, nothing is bigger than Jesus.” That’s peace. Real peace. Conflict resolving peace. If we were to define true biblical peace, it would be this: “Intentional Nearness of Jesus.” Intentional in that he willed it to happen in our lives, and how we long to be intentional about finding our peace only in being near to Jesus. CS Lewis put it this way: “God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.”
So, if Jesus could resolve the sin-death-evil hostility between us and God, what does that tell you about the conflict going on in your family right now? If Jesus was willing to come so near to you that he became one of us and died for you, what does that tell you about the intentional nearness of Jesus in your life? He doesn’t run away from conflict. He stands through it all. When we have a conflict with God himself, and maybe that’s how you’ve felt for a long time because you didn’t have the mom you needed or the family to support you and you can’t help but blame God when we have a conflict with him, he doesn’t go away from us. He keeps listening and responds to us through the Bible. If Jesus shed his own blood to bring reconciliation between you and him, do you really think his peace doesn’t have the capability of bringing peace between you and your family members?
He can and he does. Jesus’ cross didn’t just knock down the wall between you and God, it knocks every wall we place between us and others. Remember you’re in God’s family, a family built on Jesus and his peace, a foundation set by the prophets and apostles, the Word of God that endures forever, do you see how amazing and life-changing God’s peace is? It’s constant, it’s secure, and it’s never-failing. His peace dwells within you. His peace makes you a peacemaker. God’s peace doesn’t avoid, it heals. I can say that because I’ve seen it. In the last church I served at, I got a call one Monday morning from a member who could barely get the words out, she was so choked up, she said, “Pastor Jonny, our daughter told us she’s a lesbian.” She talked about how her daughter told her that if her mom wouldn’t approve, she’d never talk to her again. I remember sitting with them in a classroom in our church, the awkwardness and disconnect were so thick. After we had talked for a while, the mom said, “Pastor, I need to pray.” And she did. She talked about Jesus bringing peace, bringing hope, bringing his grace. For the next 3 months, it was hard, there were more tears, but those parents clung to the peace of Jesus. They connected their daughter with a Christian counselor over an hour and a half away, drove her there for weeks, prayed with her, moved her into a new school, and I’ll never forget them coming to church and seeing mom and daughter arm in arm smiling as they sang hymns together. That’s the peace of God.
That’s the peace that is within you that inspires you not to avoid conflict but approach it knowing what God’s peace can do. It’s conflict resolution option three: Trusting in the peace of Jesus. If you’re in God’s family, what is seriously the worst that can happen? The God who came near to you will always stay near to you, that’s peace. So here’s the opportunity before you: Think about the tension between you and someone you love. Remember the hope you have in Jesus, the peace that transcends all understanding that guards your heart and your mind, and reach out to that person. Not to exert your will but simply to say, “I want us to be connected. I want real peace between us. I know it’s nothing we can make happen on our own, but I know Jesus can do that. Can we pray about it together?” Let’s join together as a church family, not avoiding conflict, but approaching it as we are led by the peace of God, Jesus, who is our peace.
As you continue to live and breathe in the communities God has placed you in, your family, your neighborhood, your hang-out spots, your workplace, this church family you know conflict will come, but never forget who can tear down every last human-made wall we try to construct. Remember who approached you even as you and I ran away from him in our hopeless chasing of the world? Jesus, our peace, shed his own blood so you could experience what peace is. What we have is something better than everyone staying in their lane. We have a hope that is guarded by God’s peace, a family that will always be there, and a Father in heaven who promises you can always go to him. That’s peace. And all God’s people said. Amen.