The value of your progress vs your goal

Hey lady, are you undervaluing your progress and overvaluing your goal?

In today's episode, I share the reason why focusing and overvaluing your progress is more important than your goal itself. 

I pray this episode blesses you!

Much love, 

Wendi

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P.S. ​If you enjoyed this podcast, I'd love to ask you to follow and leave a quick review. It only takes 30 seconds, but it makes a huge difference to my show. Click here to open Beyond the Military in Apple Podcasts to leave your review.

Join us in the Facebook Life + Career Coaching Community at bit.ly/beyondthemilitarygrp

More about coaching resources from me:

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Wendi: Hello ladies. You are listening to episode [00:01:00] 83 and welcome to another episode of beyond the military podcast. I am so happy that you are here. And I just want to give a quick shout out to everyone tuning in from different countries from not only the us from Canada, from France, from Denmark, from Switzerland. 

[00:01:18] Wendi: Thank you so much for supporting this podcast. I am so grateful that you are heater. We are ranking in all of these countries. So I want to thank you. It really means a lot to me that you are tuning in not only from the U S but also from all these other countries that I never imagined really, you know, being a part of, because I really didn't realize how much of an impact. 

[00:01:42] Wendi: You know, podcasting is, and I'm just so grateful. And I just feel so blessed that I have everyone support. And I really pray that this episode. Um, and really this podcast as a whole blesses, you not only through my podcast, solo podcast episodes that I host. But also through the woman that I'm bringing [00:02:00] on, that, you know, they encourage you that. 

[00:02:03] Wendi: They motivate you to, you know, take that step. Forward and possibly even consider the possibilities that are out there, you know, not only in the military, but also outside of the military. So thank you so much. We've been ranking in different countries and I just wanted to celebrate this podcast and also celebrate you for tuning in. And, you know, even if you may not be, you know, caught up with all 83 episodes, but. 

[00:02:29] Wendi: You know, maybe one of them did actually encourage you or, you know, change your perspective and maybe a small impact in your day-to-day life. And, you know, that's really the goal here and. Yeah, I just wanted to say that and start off by saying that I just feel really blessed and supported and thanks again, everyone. It's it really means a lot to me when I get my weekly. 

[00:02:51] Wendi: Um, what they call a like chart position, email. And they tell you, you know, where you rank and you know, how many [00:03:00] countries are following you. And it's just amazing. It really just gives me that extra oomph to keep going, because I'll tell you it's not, it's not as easy as it sounds, um, to, you know, record two episodes a week. And not only that, but really be intentional with what you're putting out there. 

[00:03:15] Wendi: And, you know, today's podcast episode as you. Um, probably noticed on the actual title of the episode. The value of your progress versus your goal. And I think that sometimes. We forget that we have goals. We forget that we have desires. We forget that we have. You know, objectives that we want to meet. And today I'm here to remind you that no matter where you are. 

[00:03:40] Wendi: In your life in, you know, the decisions that you've made for yourself for this year. Um, for this month for the month of March. You know, I'm here to remind you that anything is possible, especially when you know, you align your goals with guide our goal giver. And also, you know, being fully committed [00:04:00] into what that impact or that result will be. Right. I think that sometimes we forget that each goal has a why behind it. And each goal has an impact behind. 

[00:04:10] Wendi: What you are pursuing what you are going for. And so I hope that after this episode, You're not only encouraged and empowered and determined. To get after it, but also to really consider how important it is and how valuable your progress is. No matter how small it could be. Because when I tell you, we sometimes as humans, we forget that we do matter. We are a crucial piece of the puzzle of not only serving God's kingdom, but also. 

[00:04:42] Wendi: To, you know, be an impact with, uh, for the people around you. So, you know, I hope that after this episode, you really take the time. To really celebrate your progress and really be honest with yourself and really ask yourself, you know, where do I want to go with this? And, you know, [00:05:00] am I valuing the goal over. 

[00:05:02] Wendi: Um, over my progress. Or am I undervaluing my progress and overvaluing my goal, right. Because I think that we do that a lot and you know, I'm guilty of it. I used to before. When I just used to. You know, say that this is my goal. I'm going to run a half marathon, you know, by, by this date. That was the goal that I would say it. And Roy didn't really have a plan. 

[00:05:25] Wendi: Or a very specific, um, Strategy to measure. My success measure my progress. Or even, you know, the, the obstacles or the bumps that I had along the way. So today, Since we are closing out the first quarter of 2022. We are at the end of March. And you know, it's the last week of another month I wanted to take the time. 

[00:05:51] Wendi: To really offer you. This idea. And this topic of the value of your [00:06:00] progress and, you know, I put versus your goal because we sometimes forget. That it's not the goal. That's smelly as valuable as the work that takes for us to get to the goal. Right. So I wanted to really go over this, but before we do that, I also wanted to take the time to give all the ladies a shout out that we're able to come on. 

[00:06:23] Wendi: On this, on this podcast and really share all the nuggets, all the wisdom, all the experiences. The. Recommendations. Um, the tips that they gave, you know, starting from February all the way until, you know, the, uh, this month of March. So thank you ladies. If you're listening. Thank you so much for. 

[00:06:47] Wendi: Being here and sharing what you know about either a coaching or something more specific like real estate, business, marketing, weight loss, and anything else that [00:07:00] is going to encourage women. Um, I know most recently we had Amanda talk about how she serving the younger military community or even the young women that are thinking about joining the military. 

[00:07:13] Wendi: Which by the way. Um, I'm going to give you a little spoiler alert. I did get interviewed by Amanda Huffman. This. This, uh, this week. And I am. Just super excited for everyone to not only hear my story, but the struggle that I did encounter as a, um, mother leader in the military, you know, with a 20 week miscarriage that. 

[00:07:38] Wendi: Unfortunately, I didn't know how to deal with, and I don't think anyone does. Um, but it was just very unfortunate that my relationship with God was not where I wish it would would be, but I really think that that's, um, you know, part of this journey, right. God wants us to get closer to him. And I think that that was one of the ways that he did that for me. And. 

[00:07:57] Wendi: Any who you'll hear more about that on. [00:08:00] Um, I think that will be actually published in may. So I'll definitely post it here for everyone to tune in as well. But, okay. So with that, let's talk about closing out the first quarter. Let's talk about how you are going to not only value your progress, but also. 

[00:08:20] Wendi: Make sure you take steps to continue to compound that progress, because if we don't, we're going to fall off and we're going to lose sight of what we're capable of doing even when life happens. Right. Even when there are obstacles, even when it's a different season or we're going. Do we do different seasons. So. 

[00:08:41] Wendi: I hope you're ready. Get your notebooks out, get your notes, whatever you use to keep you accountable. Or at least like for me, I remember nothing. Like my brain can only hold a very small amount. Before I get distracted of information. And so I write everything down. I put it on my calendar. As you guys know, I [00:09:00] use click up. I use those notes on there, so get ready. Um, and I want to start off by saying, you know, what are you valuing the most right now, if I were to ask you. 

[00:09:10] Wendi: You know, are you more focused on your goal or whatever that goal may be? And I'm going to use my example. Um, as I mentioned in the episode before that episode number 82. I am. For the most part on track with the goals that I have for this year. But there are some that are not, there are some that are, um, that I really can't measure either. Um, in a, in a sense where yes, I can measure, right. Like going out, um, and having date night with my husband, I can measure that, you know, 

[00:09:40] Wendi: My goal was to do at once a week. And I'm like, oh, we've only actually gone out, um, or went out on a date. By ourselves three times this year. So far, right then I'm like, okay, clearly it's not doing it once a week. So what needs to change, right? Like that those are, that's actually one of the goals that we're falling behind [00:10:00] on, but I will say. 

[00:10:02] Wendi: We don't. We have been having more lunch dates. I will say that, um, because it is. A lot easier. And then, um, I also haven't been feeling well, but I'll talk more about that later in the future episodes. And it's one of the things that we still, you know, find the time to be intimate and have conversations with one another. So, 

[00:10:22] Wendi: I'm going to talk more specifically about my podcasting goal. Um, because that, after I checked the numbers this morning, I'm like 150 downloads a way from where I want it to be. So. This is what I mean. Let's just say, and again, you can use any example, whatever your goal may be going to the promotion board, running a half marathon. 

[00:10:46] Wendi: Uh, actually, you know, completing your two mile in a quicker time or your, whatever, the new physical tests may be within your branch. Um, maybe, you know, Getting all A's in currently in your semester. [00:11:00]Um, getting your master's degree this year, but you haven't signed up for classes. Whatever that goal may be, and it could be something as simple as, um, you know, getting out there and dating more and, you know, having a successful, um, dating. 

[00:11:15] Wendi: Um, adventure. Whatever you want to call it a dating. Um, Uh, consistent dating schedule consistent. Um, you know, relationship building, right? Whatever that may be. It could be something as simple as losing 10 pounds by one June. Whatever your goal is. I want you to think about that goal and I'm going to provide you with my goal. 

[00:11:38] Wendi: Just to kind of, um, give you this idea of what I mean, and for you to follow along on how I measure my progress and measure how, um, I'm going to get to my goal, because like I said, life is going to happen. Life happens. Um, and there are times where, you know, we just have to take a [00:12:00] step back. And lean into God and lean into what we do, know what we do have available the resources that we have available. 

[00:12:09] Wendi: And go from there. Right? We're human. We're not going to be perfect. And like I said earlier too, and episode 82. If you're meeting all your goals, then you are not setting big goals. You aren't setting big enough coals for you to achieve. Right. So if I would've said, you know, oh, by. March 31st, 2022. 

[00:12:30] Wendi: I'm going to have 2000 downloads. That's my goal for my podcast. If in December, December 31st, 2021. My downloads were. 1500. You know, why would I only give myself 500 downloads to pursue or to aim for. For three months, right. That makes no sense. So again, You know, and I'm going to talk about this here shortly. 

[00:12:57] Wendi: Um, but if you're [00:13:00] meeting all your goals, that's great, but now we need to set bigger goals for the next quarter or for the rest of the year. Um, it's scary. I know it's scary for me. And, you know, honestly, I'm very, very impressed and I'm very proud of, you know, the progress that I've made with this podcast alone. 

[00:13:16] Wendi: And so with that, Um, the goal that I set for myself for, um, the 31st of March is to hit. Um, 4,500. Downloads. 4,500 downloads total. As of today. And remember, I'm recording this a few days early or prior. I said early. A few days prior, really two days. So. I still have some time here. Right. But I'm literally looking at the downloads right now. And let me just refresh my page just to give me. 

[00:13:48] Wendi: You know, maybe another one or two additional downloads. Um, but I'm at 38 43. 38 43. I am. If I do the math and by the way, I forgot to warn [00:14:00] everybody. I'm going to be doing some math and I'm not the best math person. I'm not the best person to actually do math. So bear with me here. So my goal was 4,500. 

[00:14:11] Wendi: And right now I'm at 38 43. So that means I am at 657 downloads away and I have about five days left for March 31st. Actually four days. Again, you see, this is what I'm talking about. Not that good at math. Um, It's okay. Just love me. Um, so 657 downloads away. And to me. I'm like, oh my gosh. That's a lot better than I expected. I honestly. 

[00:14:41] Wendi: That was going to be a thousand downloads away. Again, I set the bar higher because I don't plan on, you know, not feeling this negative emotion, right. There's going to be negative emotions somewhere along the way either. Um, while I'm recording podcast, episodes are like, oh [00:15:00] man, I have to record three episodes this week because I'm going out of town or whatever it may be. 

[00:15:04] Wendi: Right. But at the end of the day, I rather feel encouraged. You know, to see how much progress have made. Versus, you know, lying to myself and. Really saying, well, I met my goal. We're at. You know, 3000, we exceeded by 800 episodes or downloads, I should say. Um, and that's not what I want. I really am pushing myself. I really am. 

[00:15:32] Wendi: Um, trying to make. Podcasts or my podcast, my mainstream. Of putting myself out there. Right. I think we all, as, um, business owners or, you know, whatever you're selling, whatever you're offering, you have to decide and pick, you know, how many ways you're going to market yourself. And like, for me, my biggest constraint or my biggest goal to constraint this year is to fully focus on [00:16:00] my podcast. 

[00:16:00] Wendi: Yes, I can be on Instagram. Yes, I can be on LinkedIn. Yes, I do email marketing as well, but my main focus, my main focus because our brains love to do everything and want to do everything. I am. Constraining my brain to only focus on podcasting and how I can make this. Um, not only a, um, impossible goal to meet. 

[00:16:24] Wendi: But also a way for me to get better at. So with that, let's just say again, whatever your goal may be is running. Um, let's say you want to cut off four minutes off your run. And now it's, um, we're at the end of the March. And you're like, oh man, I only, you know, cut 30 seconds off. So, what I want you to focus on is on the progress and valuing the progress even more than your valuing the goal. 

[00:16:52] Wendi: So in this moment, Um, valuing the progress that I've made. Since December [00:17:00] to March 31st. Or March 30th, because the day this publishes it's going to be March 30th. But. What's going to happen on Thursday, March 31st. Actually on Friday, April 1st. I'm going to take accountability of where I am at. Let's say I'm at 4,000 on one April. So I know that the Delta is 500. I'm just trying to make math easy here for myself. 

[00:17:26] Wendi: So let's say it's 500. I am not going to. Under value. The 4,000 downloads. And overvalue the 500 downloads that I missed, because that was my goal. Right. 4,500. That's not what I'm going to do. What I'm going to do is guide my brain, direct my mind to the progress that I've made. Which has been over 1500 downloads since last year. 

[00:17:57] Wendi: So, what I want you to do [00:18:00] is the same thing. If let's say you wanted a cut four minutes off your actual runtime. And you're not looking into the first quarter and you're like, okay, I'm never going to, um, you know, cut the whole four minutes. And my PT test is in may. Now I'm just going to give up and I'm just going to eat and I'm just going to not run and do sprints and do all the other things that require that you have been doing. 

[00:18:24] Wendi: To get you to lose those 30 seconds off your time. So I want you to focus and value your progress more. Today. And really ask yourself, okay, how do I, how can I. Continue to compound this progress, regardless of what day it is, regardless of how much time you have left. Like, listen, I have four days left. 

[00:18:48] Wendi: And I'm not here stressing out about, oh my gosh. You know, I only have two days left. And I may only get 100 downloads and that's gonna put me at 3,900. Or, you know, whatever the number may be. [00:19:00] No, I'm not doing that. And I don't want you to do the same thing for your goal for your progress. I want you to overvalue your progress. 

[00:19:09] Wendi: Because when I tell you that. The goal. Yes. Is valuable. It's important, but the progress and the work that you, that you go through is more valuable. Because that is. What's changing. In how the, how your impact or the impact that you're going to make is going to actually, um, Differentiate you from the person you were on December 31st to the person you are now. 

[00:19:45] Wendi: So focusing on. Your progress in valuing it more. Then the actual end goal. You know, whatever that may be for you. I'm using the running example and I'm using my podcast here as an [00:20:00] example. For me. The 4,500 is not more valuable. Then all the work that I've done. To get to the number that I am at now, which is. 

[00:20:12] Wendi: 3,843. I am not going to devalue and undervalue the progress that I've made. I mean, The same thing for you, right? Like you lost or not lost, but you cut 30 seconds off your run. Or whatever that may be. I'm just throwing numbers at here at you. So now what do you need to do to compound at 30 seconds? Okay. 

[00:20:35] Wendi: Maybe instead of sprinting for 15 seconds, I want you to sprint for 20 seconds. Maybe there's something in my diet that I can change. Maybe I need to add more vegetables, more protein, whatever that may be. Right. I am not a nutritionist here. Highly recommend that you go back to my, um, my episodes with, uh, Lizzie, Mary and Ashley. They are. 

[00:20:59] Wendi: This is [00:21:00] their jam. And, you know, really understanding that you are making progress. So that's a great thing. You're like, Hey, I am. Making progress. And this is where I'm at. I might not be making the progress that I want, but I I'm making progress. And that's what matters. And not only that. This is what I always offer my clients. 

[00:21:26] Wendi: So as you guys remember, and if you, if this is the first episode that you're tuning into, you may need to go back to a couple of episodes on where I talk about the coaching model. So when. We are in a place. Right? So for example, I'm going to use my example again, I'm at 38 43 downloads. I want to know how I'm feeling about that number. 

[00:21:48] Wendi: Right now I am feeling actually pretty proud of where I'm at because I actually thought it was going to be somewhere in the, in the, um, in the lower, like 3,500. Um, [00:22:00] numbers. But I'm at 38. So I'm like really, I'm proud of where I met. So the reason I'm feeling proud is because I'm actually impressed that I went over 3,500. Right. So that's my thought. 

[00:22:14] Wendi: So that's my thought feeling proud. What am I going to do? I'm going to continue to evaluate, how can I get, or how did I get to this number? You know, unexpectedly. Honestly, like not even unexpectedly, but I didn't really think that it was possible to exceed the 3,500. By the 31st, but then again, I set my impossible goal to be four to 500. Right. 

[00:22:40] Wendi: So, you know, what am I going to do? I'm going to really see what possibly helped me. I'm going to go back and I'm going to see what actual episodes. Um, have been heard of the most. Um, the countries that are listening in. The emails that I've sent that have supported the episodes. You know, I'm going to go [00:23:00] back and evaluate what I'm doing. 

[00:23:02] Wendi: Right. What is working for me? And then. After I get that number or that information. And really kind of see what you guys are listening to. I'm now going to adjust. And I'm going to serve you by creating more of that content. So for you, right? Like what has the word you're like, oh man, like I'm feeling more energized because I'm, I'm eating, you know, certain amount of protein by this time. So I know that that's working. 

[00:23:34] Wendi: And oh, I'm feeling great because you know, the water intake that I'm taking in is helping me. With, um, my runtime or the location that I'm running the Hills and the, you know, the gravel and, you know, the new shoes that I got, it's really helping. Okay, so now how do we continue? To do that in April and in may. 

[00:23:57] Wendi: And so on and so forth. How do we [00:24:00] compound the progress that you've made? That's what I want you to focus on. I want you to value the progress that you're making even more so than the goal itself. That's what this is about. So. If I were to give you any steps and I haven't actually written down the steps here, but as I'm thinking, and I mean, as I'm speaking, I'm thinking about. 

[00:24:22] Wendi: What steps you could take in the first step I would recommend. For you to do is to really see the progress that you've made. So write down what progress you've made. Okay. I cut 30 seconds off my run. Great. Step number two. How did you get there? What steps did you take? To get to cutting 30 seconds after run. 

[00:24:44] Wendi: You woke up earlier, you went to sleep earlier, you ate better. You portion out your vegetables, you drank more water, you picked the better route. You stayed consistent with the number of days of the week that you are running or spreading, whatever you're doing. [00:25:00] So when you write that down now, I want you to compound that. 

[00:25:05] Wendi: And by that, I mean, Being more consistent and actually, you know, possibly picking one or two things, doubling on water or doubling on the number of seconds that you're going to sprint without taking a break or whatever you need to do. Again, I'm not the expert about how to cut. 30 seconds off the run, but based on the experience that I had to do, my cutting time off my run, especially after postpartum. 

[00:25:31] Wendi: Was by sprinting in drinking more water, honestly, that's literally all I did. I sprinted shrunk. water. Less ate junk. And I cut a lot of time off, but again, I'm not the expert here. And then step number three. I want you to use that information. To compound, um, how you're going to continue to make that progress. 

[00:25:53] Wendi: So that you can get to your goal based on the timeline that you have given yourself. Now, [00:26:00]let's just say that. You know, for example, for me, this was, this was it right? I'm like, okay, it's March 31st. I didn't make my, um, 40, 4500 downloads. And this is all the time that I had. Let's just say, this is, this is, this was it. 

[00:26:18] Wendi: What do I do now? Okay. Then I can still start all over again. Right. For example, you're taking the PD test or any test or you're taking the exam, you're going to the promotion board, you know, any thing that is. That you can only do that one time until the next year or the next time it comes around. Right. So if you're like, I'm going to the board and. 

[00:26:39] Wendi: My goal was to get the best evaluation, the top evaluation. It didn't happen. Okay. So what now? Okay. Here come. The negative emotions right here comes the disappointed, discouraged. The feeling of a failure, the feeling that you are. Possibly not where you [00:27:00] expected or, um, you know, where you thought you could be. 

[00:27:04] Wendi: Let's just say that that's that's it right there. I want you to really ask yourself, you know, how much you've changed. Or how much you've grown as an individual. I want you to value that. Because listen. There will be times where you don't make, you know, the, the top or you're not, you know, you don't have the top evaluation. 

[00:27:28] Wendi: Maybe, you know, the, your, um, senior Raider, your Raider couldn't give you that because of their profile or whatever, maybe. Maybe, you know, you didn't get an a or all A's on, you know, for your GPA when you graduated. 

[00:27:45] Wendi: What I want you to focus on is not necessarily the actual outcome, but I want you to focus on the person you've become. On the changes you made. Because you wanted. To get to that goal. And [00:28:00] I'm not saying I want you to use this to distract you from the negative emotion. Yes, of course. Allow your negative emotion to be there? Yes. Be disappointed. Yes. Feel discouraged for a couple of minutes. 

[00:28:10] Wendi: But then immediately after I want you to focus on the person that you've become. I want you to focus on the person that. The, the growth that you have made that you have done. And that's honestly what I'm doing now. Right now. I'm a little disappointed. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to sit here and be like, oh, well, you know, I'm still very happy that I exceeded the 3,500. 

[00:28:28] Wendi: Now I'm a little disappointed. I could have done something differently. But I'm not going to sit here and beat myself up every single day. And not allow my negative emotion. Yeah. I'm a little disappointed. Right. And I'm actually not fully disappointed yet. Because it's not the 31st, but. When it will be, I'm gonna be like, okay, Wendy, let's be honest with yourself. You did not meet your goal for the first quarter. 

[00:28:48] Wendi: You're gonna be a little disappointed. But I want to also focus and value the progress that I've made in the person that I've become. I did eight interviews, eight interviews, the first quarter of [00:29:00] 2022. That I coordinated a well in advance. In which, by the way, these women are phenomenal. I not only loved the experience. 

[00:29:09] Wendi: And what I've learned about, you know, myself as a podcast, host as a leader, as someone that wants to share and continue to empower other women. But I've also realized that. Yes, I am now. You know, in a different place than where I was at the beginning of the year with, you know, being really nervous and not knowing how it was going to turn out and, you know, really feeling as if I needed to have everything so perfect in order for this to work out. And that wasn't the case. 

[00:29:41] Wendi: And I'm still learning. Right. But I am so proud of myself for going out of my comfort zone, reaching out to these women that I barely knew from for the most part. And asking them. For an hour of their time. And not only that, but for them to trust me. That I [00:30:00] would deliver on what I had asked them to do. 

[00:30:03] Wendi: Right. So, yes. I want you to focus on valuing where you are now in all the work and all the obstacles that you have to overcome and all the things that you didn't want to do, but you still did. That's what I want you to focus on. I want you to focus on who you are now, who you've become the progress that you've made. 

[00:30:23] Wendi: Not necessarily saying to undervalue the goal. But to overvalue your progress over your goal. Because the goal. Is just the goal. And also to focus on the gold giver, right. The only reason you possibly desire this goal you wanted this goal is because God has given that to you. God's like, you know what, Wendy, I want you to interview these women. I want you to learn from these women. I want you to offer what these women have to. 

[00:30:51] Wendi: Um, what they have to other women. That was the goal that I had. So I want you to focus on the [00:31:00] progress. That you have done that have made. All right, ladies, that's all that I have for you this week. Thank you so much for tuning in and listen. If you really enjoyed this episode, you enjoy listening to this podcast. I want to ask you for a huge favor. 

[00:31:16] Wendi: To please leave me a review on apple podcasts. All you gotta do is go to my podcast show. Scroll to the very bottom. And. Rate this podcast and leave me a comment or. A review actually is what it's called and review on how this podcast is helping you, how it's impacting you, how you are enjoying and what is it exactly so that I can continue to deliver an offer. You. 

[00:31:40] Wendi: More on what you are learning or what you're enjoying, and what's really making an impact in your life. All right, ladies, have a beautiful rest of the week and a goal hard in, close out. Get after it. With a bang, because when I tell you that we need you. We really need more inspiration from more women like yourself, more military [00:32:00] women to get out there and do more of the things that God wants you to do. 

[00:32:05] Wendi: Not because it's comfortable. Not because it's easy, but because it's worth it. All right have a beautiful rest of your day bye