MVP: How to stay committed on the goal you set for yourself no matter what...

 I'm drawn to the profound connections we've fostered and the community we've built. Your thoughts resonate deeply, and I invite you to share them, to shape the journey ahead. Let's continue to weave this tapestry of faith, family, and career together, nurturing the very essence of our shared experiences. So, until our tales entwine once more in the digital realm, I leave you with a heart full of thanks and a reminder to navigate your unique path with conviction and grace.

More about coaching resources from me:

Website  |  LinkedIn |  Instagram  |  Facebook | Contact Me | Schedule Consult

P.S. ​If you enjoyed this podcast, I'd love to ask you to follow and leave a quick review. It only takes 30 seconds, but it makes a huge difference to my show. Click here to open Beyond the Military in Apple Podcasts to leave your review.

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

Overcoming Grief and Setting Goals

Speaker 1 0:00

Haces , welcome to Beyond the Military podcast , where faith-led military women overcome burnout and create more balance . Just imagine having enough time to focus on your faith , family and have more fun while still serving as a woman leader . In this podcast , you will walk away with the tools to help you navigate the busy life of a military woman , organize your mind , overcome overwhelm and create a privatization playbook and a balanced blueprint for integrating faith , family and career . Haces , in that order . Hi , I'm Wendy Ray , woman of God , wife , mama of two , army veteran and certified life coach , and I'm here to help you create a life of meaning outside of the military , a life of laughter , joy and intentional free time . If you are ready to overcome burnout and create balance as a faith-led military woman , assist this podcastist for you . So loosen up your laces and grab your coffee , because it's time to step into freedom and peace . Hello , hello , lady , and a welcome to episode 147 .

Speaker 1 1:01

Happy New Year . I am so excited to be behind the microphone in 2023 . I am just so ready to share so many great topics with you this year . I've already done my entire thought download on all the topics and really points that I want to discuss with you , at least for Q1 . And I'm just really excited and I hope that you are as well Especially for this episode . Today I'm going to be talking on how you can stay committed on your goal that you set for yourself , no matter what , and before I do that , I want to share an update on my life , what's going on over here with the Ray family and how we're doing . And so , as you guys may know , and if you've been following me from the very beginning , you know that last year was a very , very tough year for me , not only mentally , emotionally , but also physically . But I'm grateful , I'm really grateful . God is good . You know there are challenges that we go through , there are struggles that we are that we could possibly go through , but , no matter what , god is always providing and he's always there , and for that I'm grateful and thankful . And I just want to share with you that , yes , I am still going through the grieving process . I lost my little sister last year in August through cancer .

Speaker 1 2:20

Looking at more specifically , and you know it was really hard again , it was the hardest thing that I'm still navigating , and one of the things that I have really considered and thought about is everything that I've been , not only teaching my clients on how to allow emotions , but also how I've allowed the negative emotions , especially through these moments , through these days and months and weeks that I've felt as if there's just this hole that I can't seem to really get out of , and so I just want to share that . You know it's an ongoing thing and , yes , there's no timeline , and yes , there's different ways to cope and deal with grief , but I also want to encourage you that if you are going through a loss , it could either , you know , be a beloved one , or even through a relationship , right . You may be going through a divorce , you may be going through this , you know , moving on , or this transition from any relationship , right , and so I just want to offer that , at the end of the day , there's nothing that you can do to get you out of it , unless it's you just allowing and feeling the negative emotion . And it's something that I constantly have to force myself to do , because I , most of the time , want to escape it . I'm like , I don't want to think about it , I don't want to go down that hole , grab it whole , and I just don't want to be crying all day , and so I'm learning to be okay with just breaking down anywhere . I could be in the car , I could be in the bathroom , I could be just on the couch while I'm holding my baby and something comes up and I just allow myself to just cry about it .

Speaker 1 4:15

When I'm on the phone with my mom , when I'm on the phone with my dad , it's something that I'm constantly reminding myself that it's okay not to be okay , and so I just want to say that we're doing well , we are pushing through it every single day . It's different every day . We have good , we have bad , we have in the middle . In between . We we're just going with the flow here and really just staying grounded in the word , grounded in you know , knowing that the Holy Spirit is with us and no matter what , I can always go to God , it doesn't matter what time , and so I just want to encourage everyone to stay close , not only in the word meditate on his word but also close to him , and so with that , of course , we also have the joy of our baby girl , and Jaila Marie is now two months old and she's just the most loving and happy baby that we know , because she's just just just a joy .

Speaker 1 5:24

I don't even know how to explain and describe the feeling , but I will say that I'm adapting to everything . I'm adapting to her , I'm adapting to my new routine , I'm adapting to the sleep rhythm , sleep schedule . I'm adapting to not being able to just get up and go to the grocery store like I used to , or go anywhere that I wanted it , without having to get the baby diaper ready , get her ready , make sure that everything gets taken care of that needs to be taken care of before we head out . And so it's just been , you know , like really great things that have been happening along with the grieving process . So I just wanted to update you guys on that and really just share how grateful I am for those of you that have reached out to me , either through social media , through a DM , through a text message Some of my past clients have , you know , reached out and just say how you know grateful they are to not only have me talk about what's going on now , but also , you know , things that they've learned , and so that's really what is has helped me encourage myself with , you know , coming up with new episodes and coming up with what goals I have for this year , because , I'm not going to lie , it's been hard .

Speaker 1 6:43

It's kind of like , where do I start ? Like , where do I continue ? Because I stopped , you know , doing my weekly emails , I stopped recording new episodes , I've stopped , you know , doing the things that I used to do before the baby , before the grieving process . And so I just am so grateful and blessed to have , you know , old coworkers , current coworkers , family , friends , people that I haven't talked to in years , that have reached out and just say that they are with me , that they're supporting me and they're showing me so much love , and so for that I'm grateful and I'm blessed . And so I wanted to talk today about one of the goals that I had for last year and how it's all going to continue to go into this year as well , into 2023 .

Navigating Challenges and Staying Committed

Speaker 1 7:35

And so the reason I wanted to record this podcast episode is not only to also share you know , obviously , you know how you want to stay committed with your goal , but also to share with you all the amazing things that this podcast has brought . And so , as you guys remember , if you've been following me , I started with this podcast as a veteran's gastric , and the reason I did that is because I was really tiptoeing around the fact that I wanted to show up as this woman of faith , a Christian woman , and I was very indecisive in doing that Because , in my mind , I thought that I wasn't going to get the same level of attention or people actually tuning in and getting the valuable information that I had . But then , after prayer and after , you know , getting a coach , a Christian coach that I was like , hey , if you are , if you have this in your heart and you've prayed about it and you're ready to really share with the world where you are in your faith and how you can help them , you need to do this . And so we did that . In September of 2021 , launched Beyond the Military podcast , and here we are . And so the beginning of 2022 , I was like , okay , I need to go all in , no matter what , and stay committed to this platform . This is the only platform I want to use to not only provide value , but also to be able to share what I know , either through my past clients or through myself , my own personal experience . And so I'm like how do I do that ? I need to set a goal that I think is not going to be as achievable as I think , right ? So I said 10,000 downloads is what I need by 2022 . And so in my mind I'm thinking , oh , I'm definitely going to meet it . Or a part of me was like I don't know if I'm going to meet it , I may go down to 5,000 downloads . And the other part of me was like , no , we're going to surpass it , 10,000 . And this was like at the very beginning of 2022 .

Speaker 1 9:38

And so then everything in my life starts to pretty much change , right ? Things that I never thought , never in my mind , never , never even considered happening , was happening . So one it was my husband . I started talking about having another baby . We were like what , why are we doing this ? We're not 30s now . We have two kids , a boy and a girl . They're 10 and eight . Why are we doing this ? And then you know my mom . She's out to me and she tells me that my little sister has been diagnosed with leukemia , and I'm like what ? What is happening here ?

Speaker 1 10:14

And so there were other things that I planned , goals that I set for myself for that year , and one of them . One of them was launching a program for group coaching for military women , and the other thing was for me to go all in on my coaching , and so for a minute I was like , okay , I think I can do this . This was like around February . I've just gotten the news that my little sister was diagnosed . I didn't know that I was expecting yet . So then I'm like , okay , maybe I can do this . I just , you know , I have to stay hopeful , stay positive , continue to pray , continue to do what I'm doing and not allow myself to get distracted .

Committing to Making a Difference

Speaker 1 10:59

Long story short , march comes along the way , in the beginning of March , and I find out that I'm pregnant and I'm like , okay , now I really have to be honest with myself . Am I really going to commit to this program and am I really going to commit to going on in my coaching ? And at first I was like I can do this , I know I can do this . And then I really had to humble myself and really ask myself are you really going to do this without jeopardizing time with your family , without jeopardizing the intentionality behind everything else that I had to get done right as a wife , as a mom , as a friend , as a daughter , as a sister ? And the answer was no . So I immediately had to refocus and ask myself what is it that I'm going to commit to ? And that one thing was a podcast . I'm like I have to continue , and I want to continue to provide this value to everyone that may be going through something .

Speaker 1 11:58

At the same time , I had clients that already had coaching from 2021 , all the way through 2022 . And so I really had to decide on what was important , and so for me , it was staying focused to the 10,000 . 10,000 downloads for my podcast , and so , in order for me to stay committed , I really asked myself is this going to make a difference ? And the answer to that was yes . Am I making a difference through podcasting ? And the answer is yes . How did I know that ? Because my numbers were increasing .

Speaker 1 12:40

It went from like 2000 or 4000 in like a couple of months , and so , because I was looking at this data , I was looking at these numbers , I was like , okay , how do I continue to show up ? Because you have to keep in mind , here I'm already working my nine to five , I'm already dedicating time to my husband and to my kids , and again , coaching on the side for that and volunteering and all these other things that already had good content . And I was like , okay , how do I continue to do this ? How do I continue , especially in August ? Because then I had I was doing two podcast episodes a week . I'm like , how do I continue to stay committed and not drop this into the back burner , because this is the only thing I have committed to this year ? And that was that platform podcasting . How do I continue to do this ? I'm like , okay , I'm going to continue to do this podcast . And that was that platform podcasting . How do I continue to share what I know , what I've learned through this platform ? And it was through understanding that I was making a difference , that this was the platform on how people not only were finding coaching , but also how they're improving to be more intentional with their time , with the people that they love , with their future , like how they start planning for after the military . So , with that in mind , I was like , okay , this is something that I know I can do because I am 100% in . I'm always excited , I'm ready to record a podcast episode .

Speaker 1 14:25

But then everything else happened right . My little sister passed away . Then I'm like , okay , I'm going to have a baby . I can't really record episodes anymore . I can barely breathe without having to take a huge pause before my next breath . I have no energy . All I want to do is sleep . So how do I continue to do this ? And the answer was very simple . I mean , yeah , the answer , the response that I had , was very simple , and it was through this question Do I want to continue to make a difference in this world ? And the answer was yes . And so I know , at first I was like , okay , wendy , you're not really making a huge difference , only the people that are listening to the podcast .

Speaker 1 15:10

But then it really became real to me because , again , these numbers kept growing and growing and different countries are listening . I mean countries that I never thought , that I never thought would listen to my podcast . And so then I'm like , okay , how do I do this ? How do I stay committed when I don't have the energy ? I'm not as excited anymore . I have so many things going on in my mind , so many things that I have to worry about before the baby gets here or even when the baby gets here , and so for me , it was just staying focused on making a difference . Making a difference through my unique talent that I have , through the influence that I have , the gift that God has given me exhortation . I love doing this and also really just understanding that everything that I had in that moment , that small amount of strength , that small amount of learning that I have in my mind , that I can , the tools that I can share with you , is by also being thankful to God that it has been provided to me , by him , understanding and trusting that he has given me this opportunity to do this through this platform . And so that's what I want to ask you .

Speaker 1 16:29

You know , is the goal that you have , that you want to commit to something that you know that you need to be doing ? Right ? Let's just say it's losing weight . Let's just say it's losing weight . It doesn't necessarily have to be about you , but it could be about others , right ? How are you going to be healthier or go on this healthier journey ? Because it's not about you for the most part , but about others , right ? Are you a mom ? Do you want to do it because you want to be a better mom for this , for your kids , in this moment ? Are you a wife ? Do you want to be healthier so that you can be and show up for your husband in a way that you know you want to ? Right , and I'm just talking about losing weight here , because losing weight is like the number one thing that people do at the very beginning of the year as their resolution their goals . I want to lose 30 pounds , and listen , I'm speaking on my behalf here as well , because you best believe I am .

Commit to Goals, Make a Difference

Speaker 1 17:32

That is one of the things on my goals for this year . Yes , I'm talking about after the baby . The baby weight needs to come off , and so what is it right ? So it's no longer about me . I'm all in because I want to be as productive , I want to show up as that mother , a healthy , a healthy mom . I want to be able to continue to run around with my kids , right , like , I want to be that parent . And so how am I going to make a difference with that ? By being more intentional with my kids , by actually choosing out meals that are healthier for everyone . Right , doing things , staying active , being more intentional with my family , with myself , and it could be as simple as that , like , why is it that you want to go all in on this goal ? And so , to kind of go back to the podcast downloads on the goal , right , 10,000 downloads for my podcast .

Speaker 1 18:33

I pulled the numbers on December 31st , which , by the way , I pulled the numbers when because I , if you know me , I go to sleep at like 8 pm before the baby , I'm like in bed by no letter than eight and I'm like asleep by like no letter than 830 . But now , with the baby , there really isn't a set time for me to go to bed besides me still being in bed by eight . But sometimes I go to bed at 10 because she's still not completely down , or she'll go to sleep for like 30 minutes and then wake up again at 11 . And so for New Year's Eve , I want to sleep early . I think we want to sleep at like nine , nine-ish , and so when I woke up to feed her , that's when I'm like okay , let me pull the numbers , because now it was one January , so it was still like I think 2 am for January 1st , but as of December 31st , we had 9,194 downloads .

Speaker 1 19:33

So now , what does this mean ? It means that , no , I did not meet my goal . That's what it means . Right , looking at numbers stating the facts I did not meet my 10K download goal for 2022 . But here's what it also means it means that we made a tremendous progress over 5,000 downloads in less than a year , and to me that was everything , because I reached more than 5,000 people downloads in a very short period of time . So now , again , what does that mean I'm making a difference . People are listening to this podcast , they're tuning in each and every single time there's a new podcast episode .

Speaker 1 20:16

And so now , what does that mean with ? Or what does that mean with when it comes to the consistency and the progress and everything right ? It means that , no matter what happened yes , I was discouraged , yes , I even , you know , felt as if I wasn't excited anymore to record these episodes . But what it really means is this is something that I committed to and I went all in , no matter what , even if I didn't meet my goal . And this is really just making an impact outside of me , outside of myself , outside of what I even started with , like intention , intentionally . So meaning that there are people in different countries that are learning about things that they could be doing after the military how to manage their mind , how to manage their emotions , and so , with that , when it was right before the holidays , I was like , okay , I can't do this anymore , like I've already recorded and now I don't want to record anymore . I'm like I just need some time .

Speaker 1 21:23

If I would have , if I wasn't as committed as I wanted to be or as I intended to be , I wouldn't have thought of like okay , maybe I could put out most valuable podcast episodes , valuable episodes that people keep listening on repeat . These are episodes that had hundreds of downloads because of how many or how many times people had downloaded it . So I immediately went into okay , what can I do to continue to share valuable information without me recording an episode ? And it was to repurpose those episodes , and that's what I did . I did a video with most valuable podcast episodes , which , by the way , I'm going to do a video . One of my coaches she did this with her podcast , I think a year ago , and so that's where I kind of like got that idea from , but it was more so of okay , it's coming to the end of the year , how do I continue to share the episodes that are valuable , that people have found valuable ? So I'm like , okay , I remembered that my previous coach had done that before , so I'm like okay , I can do this too . And so it's been amazing , because those podcast episodes have also shown a tremendous amount of love .

Speaker 1 22:43

One of the episodes , I believe it , was self-doubt . Again , it was like 700 episodes within that first week . It was out . It was crazy . And again , it just shows that , no matter what it is that you are committing to and you find different ways , no matter what way it is . If it's a way that you're like , okay , I'm gonna make it work , it's going to work , people are going to find it it's . You need to have the willingness to make it work Right .

Speaker 1 23:16

If you're like , oh my gosh , I wanna lose weight but I don't have time to come up with meals and what's healthy and carbs and everything else , right . Or I don't have time to go to the gym and so on and so forth , you don't need the gym . You don't need a specific meal plan in place . All you can really do is take out sugar and flour . If you know bread doesn't help your body , take it out of your menu , take it out of your diet . If you know that doing 100 burpees is going to help you it's gonna help you not only stay in shape then do it . You'll need the gym , right .

Speaker 1 23:51

So again , whatever that goal may be , if your goal for this year is to transition out of the military , how do you stay committed without giving in that ? Oh , I wanna stay in because of this insecurity , or insecurity or this fear ? You want to ask yourself how is this transition going to make a difference when I do transition , and it could be by having your family stable . It could be by now I'm going to sleep better , my health is going to improve . Whatever it is for you , whatever the reason may be , in order for you to stay committed on the goal that you set for yourself , no matter what you be in , all in is by really asking yourself how is this going to make a difference ? And , whatever the response is , staying focused on that and , of course , praying about every single challenge and obstacle that may be coming up , because there will always be challenges , there will always be obstacles . And guess what ? We're not alone . We have the Holy Spirit , we have God , especially if you are in the journey of partnering with God . You have the God-given gifts , strengths , characteristics , learnings , influence that makes you who you are , and that's why you have chosen this goal and that's why you will continue to stay committed . And this is how you continue to stay committed and I will continue to stay committed to this podcast , no matter what , which .

Speaker 1 25:32

By the way , if I haven't said this already , I've already have a whole page on my ClickUp , on my Word document , of topics that I will be talking within the first quarter on this podcast and I cannot wait to share with you all more on what's coming . But for now , I'm gonna continue to keep my head down , because I know that $10,000 downloads are coming , and to be even more or go further down this line of goals . My goal for this year is 25K . I want to be at 25,000 downloads by the end of this year , and again , it may not happen , right , but guess what ? I'm gonna continue to keep going . I'm not gonna let the timeline dictate if I will meet my goal or not . It's gonna come . I'm gonna continue to stay here behind this mic . I'm committed , I'm all in to continue to share with you the tools , the resources and much more that's coming , because this is what I know God wants for me to do , because it's something that I've had .

Speaker 1 26:41

Someone told me before that I was going to be a host of a radio show when I was little and I was like , really , because that's actually something that I want to do and keep in mind . I was like maybe 10 , 11 years old and now here I am as an adult and I'm like , oh my gosh . I remember when this one guy told me that I could be , I sounded like someone as a radio host . And so now here I am right , and I just love sharing different things for free , like it's just for you . I want to be able to do this every single day , even when podcasting is outdated .

Speaker 1 27:15

I'm gonna be the only one podcasting , but , seriously , in order for you to stay committed on the goal that you have set for yourself , no matter what , it begins with asking yourself do I want to continue to make a difference ? Do I want to make a difference ? Is this going to help me make a difference , not only for you , but for others around you ? You want to take a moment , take a step back , and if the answer is yes , and you know how you're gonna do it , I promise you this is going to keep you encouraged every single moment , no matter what , even when you don't feel like doing it . You're gonna find other ways , other means to get this done . All right , ladies , that's all that I have for you . I hope and pray that this episode blessed you and that you continue to stay focused , especially because it's the beginning of the new year . All right , I'll talk to you soon . Have a great rest of your week . Bye , hey , lady

Podcast Promotes Review and Community Engagement

Speaker 1 28:16

.

Speaker 1 28:16

If this podcast helped you , challenged you or inspired you in some way . Please leave me a written review for the show on Apple Podcasts and share it with another military sister . Helping you integrate balance , prioritization and growth in your relationship with God is my ultimate comment . I'm so blessed that you are here . Please join us in the Faith-Leveled Military Woman community on Facebook at Bitly Before Slash Beyond the Military GRP . Again , it is Bitly Beyond the Military GRP . All right , talk to you soon . Bye .