Beyond the Military Podcast: Life Coach for Burned out Women, Military Transition Coach, Career and Productivity Coach for Military and Veteran Women,

The feeling you need to stay on track with your new goal!

January 03, 2022 Wendi Wray Episode 58
Beyond the Military Podcast: Life Coach for Burned out Women, Military Transition Coach, Career and Productivity Coach for Military and Veteran Women,
The feeling you need to stay on track with your new goal!
Show Notes Transcript

Happy Monday sister-friend, 

I hope you are ready for a new slate of possibilities. In today's episode, I share with you the feeling you want to pursue to help you stay on track with the new goals you've set for yourself. 

I pray this episode blesses you and empowers you to strive for intentional thought work!



P.S. If you've been feeling exhausted from endless expectations and working all the time - this program is for you. Join me in the Burnout to Balance Coaching Program.

P.P.S. โ€‹If you enjoyed this podcast, I'd love to ask you to follow and leave a quick review. It only takes 30 seconds, but it makes a huge difference to my show. Click here to open Beyond the Military in Apple Podcasts to leave your review.

Check out 2022 Dream Planner by Horacio Printing (for the ladies that love paper & pen๐Ÿ˜‰) 

Join us in the Facebook Faith-led Military Women Community at 

More about coaching resources from me:

Website  |  Instagram  |  Facebook  |  LinkedIn  | Schedule A Free Session 

Join me in the Burnout to Balance Coaching Program. 

P.S. โ€‹If you enjoyed this podcast, I'd love to ask you to follow and leave a quick review. It only takes 30 seconds, but it makes a huge difference to my show. Click here to open Beyond the Military in Apple Podcasts to leave your review.

Join us in the Facebook Life + Career Coaching Community at

More about coaching resources from me:

Website | LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook | Contact Me | Schedule Consult


Hey sis, welcome to beyond the military podcast. Where faith led military women overcome burnout and create more ballots. Just imagine having enough time to focus on your faith family and have more fun while still serving as a woman leader in this podcast, you will walk away with the tools to help you navigate the busy life of a military woman. Organized rind, overcome overwhelm. Create a prioritization playbook in balanced blueprint for integrating. Family and career yeses in that order. Hi, I'm Wendi Wray a woman of God life mama of two army veteran and certified life coach, and I'm here to help you create a life of meaning outside of the military, a life of laughter joy and attentional free time. If you're ready to overcome burnout and create balance as a faith led military woman, since this podcast is for you. So loosen up your laces and grab your coffee because it's time separate to freedom. Hello ladies. And welcome to episode number 58 and happy new year happy Monday. It's the first Monday of 2022. I'm super excited to be here behind the mic and also tuning in with you from wherever you are, either from your car, from your home, from France, from Canada. Lithuania from all over the U S where ever you're tuning in. Thank you so much for joining me. I'm so happy that you're here and I just hope that you are as excited as I am for the new year. If you listened to the previous episode, you know that I love new beginnings. I love Mondays. I just love everything about having this opportunity to have a fresh start and. That is you as well. I'm pretty sure you're super excited for the new year, because with that comes possibly a new planner, a new journal, just a new slate, a new opportunity for you to just get creative on the possibilities that are available to you on the things that you want to grow in on the adventures that you want to go into either locally, um, around you or possibly just even, um, Experiencing different, um, desires of where you want to be or what you want to pursue, because I think that's also very important for us to do every now and then to just sit down and really see what is possible for you. Within the next week, within the next month, within the next three months within the next quarter or within the next year. And I think that most of us to this at the very beginning of the years, I hope that you continue to do this throughout the year. And I will make note of this as I am speaking to really focus on an episode where I talked to continue to do this, not only at the beginning of the year, but to do this throughout the year, because it's so important for us women to safe, not only focused on others, but also on how we can also. Help others by focusing on our growth, focusing on what we can improve on focusing on how can we be better humans, better women, better moms, better wives. And I think it begins with focusing and taking the time to investing in us. So, which brings me into this episode of how do we keep focused on. The goals that we have set for ourselves, how do we continue to maintain and, um, have this feeling that we need to get us to take action and give us the result that we want. Right. And before I do that, I just want to share that, like I said earlier, we get, you know, new planners and journals, certain book. We just, you know, there's, it's time for a new beginning, even though. I still have two books that I didn't finish. Um, because I was reading like literally four books at the same time, but, and I finished two, um, which by the way, when, I mean reading two, I mean also listening through audible. Um, but there are still two, um, that I want to finish, which I'm really close to finishing. And one of them is. Give and take, and that one was pretty lengthy. And I will say I'm like, yeah, I'm just going to finish it in January. No, need it to read or listen to the book for, you know, the last eight hours of the year. Um, again, it's something that I like to do is to have something that I can roll over. Most of them are my goals that, um, or the things that I want to do within the next three years, I have a full list of, you know, the things that. I want to get done in the next two years and kind of annotating what got done and what rolls over to 20 22, 23 and so on and so forth. Um, but I just wanted to share if any of you are looking for a really good planner, um, I got this one from her racial printing and by the way, I'm not getting, you know, I'm not affiliated with them or anything like that. I am honestly sharing it because it's. It's working for me so far, and I know we're in day three of the new year, but what I mean by this is I love paper, you know, writing on paper and everything. And I'm also big on having an electronic version. So what I'm doing, and this is for all of you, ladies that are focused on writing things down and want to physically be able to touch a piece of paper and, you know, organize yourself and plan out your. Plan out your month. This is, this planet is going to be for you, but I like to do everything else electronically. So I like to put everything that I have coming up, my tasks, all of the weekly routines. What I like to call my battle rhythm is electronically, unclick up. But what I'm using this journal for is specifically for like my time with Jesus, my time with God during prayer, the verses that are meditating on, because it's just so much easier for. To have it organized because I typically have it in a journal or I just have it in different journals that I bind. So then when it comes time to kind of look back and reflect on, you know, what I studied during a certain season, what I studied or what I prayed about. You know, a certain, um, month, or like I said, a certain season that I was possibly, you know, struggling with. I can now look back on a calendar where I kind of just wrote out what I'm meditating on. Right. So for example, Um, what verses are meditating on in the Bible? So for example, I, I have here, um, written down the verses that I want to meditate on for the week. And it's just so much easier to, to help me early in the mornings to, um, read and be focused in organized because I have something readily available for me. So I wanted to share that with you all. And, you know, in case you haven't bought a journal, In case you're possibly wondering, you know, how do I get, you know, even, um, dedicated and committed and encouraged to, you know, start this daily prayer routine or start this journaling routine, or just meditating on the word. I highly recommended that you get a planner. It doesn't have to be this one, but again, I got this one from her racial printing. Um, I'll add the link in the show notes as well, but it's such a useful planner because it really helps you, um, look at the days of the month. And then it also gives you a little chart here on what you need to get done. I will use that as my kind of like reward and. Side of the sheet, but it also gives you Bible verses. So it's a faith led journal and it also helps you plan out your year, um, and kind of asks you right. Questions, you know, like, who am I encouraging and praying for this season, right? It's not only about us, it's about other people and you know how we are of service. So I highly encourage that you get a planner again, it doesn't have to be this one, but I just wanted to share this one with you all in case you are looking for a good. And I now can go into that persona. And I'm sorry for kind of going off on a tangent here, but I just felt it in my heart to share that with you all in case you're looking for a good planner. And so now let's talk about. How we are going to continue to keep this emotion that we need to help us not only follow through, um, and take an action, but also really keeping this kind of like, um, quote unquote consistency. And if you've heard my episodes and you've been tuning in with me before, you know that I have talked about this similar concept before, and I've called it the motivators. So if you go back to episode number 18, it's which motivator do veterans use to get after it? So what emotion, what feeling is going to propel you to. Actually take action from a place that is going to serve you. That is going to be genuine and not necessarily from a feeling of obligation. Or even as I mentioned in that specific episode from a place of hustle, right. Which by the way, I'll give you the, the motivators right now, but I still highly recommend that you go back and you listen to the episode because it's really going to help you kind of understand each motivator. Go, um, individually and talk about each one of them. And these are the common ones. Obviously there are more right. And I think I'm going to make another episode about that part too, and kind of add a more that I've, um, heard for my clients specifically on what is holding them back and what really kind of keeps them stuck. So the four that I talked about before are the big one or the one that is most common is the fear of missing. Not wanting to miss out on something hustle. They want to do more instead of focusing on how can you, um, really constrain on one thing and doing less is not necessarily a bad thing. Um, and then the other two are service and. And I'm going to talk more specifically here about the service concept, the service part, the service motivated that really is going to, um, try bus in to take an action that we need from a place of not only surveys, but also. Commitment and dedication because when we can see that we are helping our brain is going to accept that and actually tolerate that even more. So if it's something that you need to do, right. So the same thing with desire. If you want to do something, if you're really focused on mainly, um, Truly wanting it versus needing to do it or obligated to do it. You're going to be, um, more trimming to do that one thing. Right? So that's what I want to focus on here. I want to focus on why you want to not only focus on the school that you've made for yourself, that you have set for yourself to do it from a place of service and desire, because. When we don't do it from a place again of want, then we can easily not only fall off whatever, battered them, you've set whatever plan you've set for yourself and really along this journey. Right. Because it's difficult. It's. Difficult to stay committed. It's difficult to stay consistent. It's difficult to honestly, just continue to follow through on the things that you want. So I'm here to help you. I'm here encourage you. I'm here to give you the tools. By the way I also want to emphasize, if you haven't listened to my episodes of this is your first time, you possibly will not understand, like the model that I'm speaking about. I highly recommend that you go back to episode number 18 to kind of, um, understand what I'm talking about here. And the coaching model is pretty much the model that I use to not only, um, self coach myself, um, the model that I use, um, for my clients, some are used to. Encourage everyone to kind of see what is going on in their mind. Right? Because that is the root, the cause of where all of the drama begins, it's in our minds. And that's where we can begin to not only, um, problem solve, but also kind of see what is happening so that we can then find a solution for it. Right. So when I talk about. You know, what feeling do we need to feel to get us in, to take an action? I mean, that, there's always a feeling that. It's happening in her body that is happening, that we are feeling because our mind or our thoughts create our feelings and our feelings, driver actions and our actions create our results. So depending on the circumstance, everyone's going to have different thoughts about a certain circumstance, right? So your goal on going to the gym every day. Is going to be different for someone else, if that circumstance or to be for, for them. Right. If that's their goal, they may be like, oh, that's too easy. I can do that every day. Right. I mean, especially if you're active duty, you're probably like, yeah. I mean, I do that every day. It's kinda like what I do for work. Right. But if you were to ask someone else that possibly isn't in the military, that'd be like, oh my God, I that's my goal to, you know, wake up and go to the gym every morning or three times a week, whatever it may be. And it's the same thing when it comes to like food, right? Like this whole. Quote-unquote dieting. I really don't like to call it dieting. I realize called something different, um, depending on what it is, right? So for January, I like to do a cleanse and I just like to fast as a new beginning, I want to, you know, cleanse my body. I want to be able to just dedicate more time to everything else besides just eating or focusing on what I'm gonna eat for breakfast. Again, everyone's going to have different thoughts about it. So that's what I mean about the coaching model and how, how it works. So many of us are gonna have different thoughts, different beliefs, about a certain circumstance situation. So whatever it is for you, whatever your goal may be. So let's just say. I want to, um, spend more time in the word. I'm just gonna give you my example. Right? So the concept that I use is service because when we can commit to others and it's just a moral obligation to contribute to those who need you. So for example, for me, it's how can I. Get closer to God. How can I dedicate more time to God and Jesus so that I can be more of service to others because that's the only way that I can get clarity. That's the only way that I can get encouraged, that I can find peace, that I can really just be encouraged to use my gifts, to give to others, to, you know, have more patients that I can be a better mom. Right. So like that's the only way. I want to, um, be able to get that done. Right. Like that is where I start. So for me, I have to really dig deep. Right. Like really understand, you know, why am I doing this? Right. So it's kind of like my why of why I want to dig deeper into the word, why I want to meditate more on the word more than I was before, because I get it. We all have different journeys. We're all in different seasons. You know, you may be starting off reading the Bible once a week, um, or you know, every other day, whatever it may be. But for me, I want it to be. Something that I just is so common kind of like breathing, right? Like, I don't even want to think about, um, what verse I'm reading. I just want to get right to it. I want to be hungry for it. How about that? That's the way that I want to be. Right. Like, I don't want to be like, oh my gosh, I have to read this. Or, oh, I forgot to journal and then feel bad about it. Right. Because I mean, that's what we do, right. I'll raise my hand right now. And I'm the first one to feel guilty. I'm the first one to be like, oh my gosh, I should've paid longer. Like, why did I only play 10 minutes? Or why did I only journal for X amount of time? Right. Or, you know, my prayer, my prayers, aren't the best, you know, all these things that we do. And instead of doing that, I just want it to be very genuine and not having to work a whole extra, you know, time to get myself to come to God, because it shouldn't be that way. Right. So that's. Biggest focus for this year, which by the way, I know some of you have a word and you know, all these other things, but for me focusing this year, last year, it was patients this year is listening, like actually listening to people around me and not having to say something right away, because come on, let's face it. We all have a problem with listening. Um, So, yeah. So what I want to share with you all too, now that I'm literally looking at my planner here, and that is, um, Hebrews 12, 11, what is really helping me stay, stay focused and this one and committed. And it talks about discipline here. And again, it's Romans 12, verse 11. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. I love this for so much because it really it's the truth, right? Like, wait. I don't want anything to be difficult or hard, but the truth is it is going to be difficult and hard. If you have a goal, if you have something you want to do this week, this month, this year, and in order to do that in order to follow through, you want to really understand, you know, why you're doing it, right. Like I said earlier, what's your compelling reason why we're doing this. And when you can do it from a place of service and desire, I promise you. You're going to follow through even more versus wanting to do this at a fear and hustle. Right. Which are the two main common ones that, um, people do things or don't do things. So I encourage you today to really focus on the service part. Like, what is it that you're doing? You know, how can you. Be of service with this one thing, right? Like for example, for me, it's, I'm fasting and focusing on cleansing this month. How was that going to serve others around me? And when I think about that, I think about my kids, right? Like I'm gonna, you know, not be as tired, I'm going to have more energy. I'm going to be, that's going to produce now more patients. Right. Um, I am going to be healthier, you know, or I'm going to, you know, move towards being healthier. And just focusing on that really helps me to stay focused on the plan. Right. Every single day, because it's hard. I mean, let's face it. I don't care who you are. Of course we're all addicted to sugar here, but I love being able to judge. Can I get my workout, get into my breakfast and my coffee, of course. And it's done. Right. But he gets difficult when you are introducing different things when you're introducing fasting and oh, by the way, um, I can't, you know, drink certain amounts of other liquids in water, so it kind of gets challenging and I want to offer you that it's okay. That it's going to be challenging. It's okay. That it is challenging, but I also want you to focus on. How you are going to be of service when you stay committed to the skull, which by the way, I know I need to make an episode on commitment to, because it's very important that you say committed is one of the things that will keep you staying consistent and just focused on the result. But with that, you know, focusing on. How you are going to be of service and playing, planning it out, right. Being organized about this. If your goal is to go to the gym every single day, um, or, you know, lose a couple pounds or go through this cleanse, go through this fast. I mean, if you don't have it set on paper or somewhere that you can see it. There is a less chance that you will actually follow through. So again, highly recommend that you get you a planner or a journal somewhere where you can actually keep yourself accountable, because it's going to only help you. And again, helping you from a place when you set yourself to have to do this out of a place of service. So whatever it may be, what ever your goal is. Okay. I want to offer due to just focus on that one thing that it's possibly the big thing, right? Maybe you haven't ran in a couple of months or you haven't, um, gone to the gym in a couple of months or, you know, it's finances, right? You haven't saved money in a long time, whatever it may be when you can think about that goal. When you think about this new beginning, this new slate of opportunities of things that you want to get done. Doing it from a place of service. How is this going to not only serve you, but also others around you? How is this going to impact you in the next three months? What effect is this going to have in the next year? By the end of the year? Right? Like really getting into that. Um, mentality. And another thing, the last final thing that I want to emphasize is remembering, especially if you're a woman of faith, especially if are you are already close to God and you have a relationship with him having this conversation with him first praying about it, getting into the word, understanding that. The word, the Bible is there to guide us, to help us in a way to learn more about him or more about God, so that we can not only stay on track and stay focused on what he desires for us. That is my last takeaway from that. And I hope that this episode is going to help you and really get you motivated for not only this, um, this, um, call that you have, but also for the rest of the week for the rest of the weeks that are coming up. And again, it's Monday, it's an a beginning, so why not? Right. And I just want to encourage you and. For you to be able to continue to do this all again, highly recommend that you go to episode number 18 and listen to that one. And if you're new here, I highly recommend that you just start bridging on all the episodes as well. And listen, if you are a military woman, a female veteran that is feeling burnt out and he just want to create this balance between your family and your career, then I want to invite. To join me on a burnout to balance six week group coaching program, where you'll be joining me and other military women like yourself to help you organize your mind, prioritize what truly matters, build intentional boundaries and just show up with more time and more presence for God for your family and your personal life without sacrificing your growth in your career. What I know, and I promise you by the end of this program, you'll be able to finally feel better and just walk away with a strategy that will help you. Not only stay organized, but also stay consistent. And the things that you plan in the batter rhythm that you want to create for yourself, not only to help you create this balance between your personal life and your career, and here's the best part you won't do this alone. You'll be empowered in surrounded by other military women, just like you and not to mention the power of accountability. And community, which basically means you're going to do the work, right? So if this is something that resonates with you and you'd know, this is something that you need at the very beginning of the year to help you, not only say focus and to help you began creating these boundaries that, you know, you need to make to help you continue to be of service of what God wants you to do on this earth. Then you have to join us. All you have to do is head over to And it's also in the show notes. And I also want to emphasize it are only four slots available. For you to join us and it all begins January 10th. All right, lady. I hope to see you inside. Have a beautiful rest of your Monday. Talk to you soon. Bye. Hey lady. If this podcast helped you challenge you or inspired you in some way, please leave me a written review for the show on apple podcast and share it with another military sister, helping you integrate balance prioritization in a growth in your relationship with God is my ultimate. I'm so blessed that you were here and please join us in the faith led military woman community on Facebook at hope to see you there and I'll meet you back here next week. Bye.