The benefit of FEELING bored

Hey lady,

What do you do when you're feeling bored? 

When I ask my clients this question most of the time they respond with "nothing" in other words

they simply have other things going on to even consider FEELING bored... not intentionally at least. 

Many of us don't allow ourselves to FEEL bored even when we get an opportunity to. 

And the truth is. It can be scary because we are so used to untentionally distracting ourselves with so many things to completely avoid feeling bored. 

But what if feeling bored is beneficial and even necessary. 

So in today's episode, I share with you WHY feeling bored is a good thing and how it can benefit you. 

I pray this episode blesses you!

Have a beautiful rest of your week!

Much love, 

Wendi

P.S. If you've been feeling exhausted from endless expectations and working all the time - this program is for you. Join me in the Burnout to Balance Group Coaching Program coming soon. 

P.P.S. ​If you enjoyed this podcast, I'd love to ask you to follow and leave a quick review. It only takes 30 seconds, but it makes a huge difference to my show. Click here to open Beyond the Military in Apple Podcasts to leave your review.

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P.S. ​If you enjoyed this podcast, I'd love to ask you to follow and leave a quick review. It only takes 30 seconds, but it makes a huge difference to my show. Click here to open Beyond the Military in Apple Podcasts to leave your review.

Transcript

0:56

Hello ladies. And welcome to episode 73. I hope that you are ready for today's episode. Because today is all about feeling bored. And I know you're like, okay, why are we talking about this? And how is this even important to me? And why should I even consider feeling bored, Wendy? I'm just trying to. Not feel bored and that's not the way I want to live my life. And I get it. I hear you. But at the same time, I've noticed that when we bring up the word bored or feeling bored or boredom, anything to do with that feeling. As humans living in 2022, we don't want to experience that. We actually intentionally set things up in our lives to not feel boredom, to not feel bored. But today I want to offer you to consider just for a moment. That boredom can actually serve you that be in board. Is actually possibly something that's necessary in your life. Not because I don't want you to. Go out and live your life and, you know, do the things that you have to get done. I'm not saying, you know, go away from your normal tasks or desires. But really what I'm offering here is to consider. That feeling bored. Is something that is going to help you. And I know I've said this previously in one of the episodes, which by the way, I can not remember. Um, because I think it was during the, um, the, the Christmas break. It was possibly even towards the beginning of the year. And as you know, if you've been tuning into these episodes, I've been interviewing. Amazing beautiful women that are going beyond the military. Um, not only throughout the month of February, but also, um, did interviews that are going to be published here. Through the, throughout the month of March. So stay tuned for those. If you have been tuning in, I pray that these women have blessed you with their wisdom, that they have blessed you with their tips, with some of their. Experiences and struggles and obstacles, because when I tell you that ladies that are coming up to our amazing. And they are, they are doing it. Y'all like these ladies are either selected duty. Um, have transitioned, but are still a military spouse have kids. They are not only also grown in their faith, but they are caring and still serving others. So I hope that you continue to tune in and hang in. Um, with us because it's just going to get better. And again, I'm all about encouraging other women. Not because I think that we are better or, you know, women. Um, you know, to. Uh, things better or anything like that. But most importantly, because I want to encourage you, especially if you're tuning in right now and you're a woman or you're active duty, or you're thinking about the transition, or you're thinking about getting married, thinking about becoming a mom, thinking about, you know, pursuing this business, pursuing this desire, this calling that God has given you, um, this purpose and you're feeling stuck. You're feeling overwhelmed. You're feeling as if there's just so much going on. I want to encourage you. And I want to use this platform to help you, to guide you possibly even, you know, to the word, to guide you into prayer, because that is what it's all about. Honestly, you know, when it comes to being here behind the mic with you, either, you know, in your car or in the office or in your home, or just somewhere at the grocery store, regardless of where you're at, I want to be able to. Tune in and your earbuds and help you and encourage you in a way that we aren't used to. And I think that the more we can do that together and the more we can encourage one another, the better this world is going to be, but also. The the more we can continue. To glorify God's kingdom. The more that we can continue to. Uh, really hone in into what it means to be here on this earth as servants of God, of Jesus Christ. So again, I hope that you continue to tune in, and I hope that you really enjoyed this topic today and they. You really take some time to just intentionally feel bored. And so with that, I also want to kind of take a step back before I go into the topic. I want to let you know that next week there will always, there will be two back to back interviews. So there will be an interview on Monday and there will be an interview on Wednesday. So I actually, won't be here behind the mic tuning in with you until the following Monday, which will be March 7th. So I know I kind of feel already as, um, it's going to be a minute, but. Trust me, these women are going to share amazing, amazing things, which by the way, Again, if you haven't subscribed. Or followed on the platform that you listen to or enjoy. Please do so. All right. So let's get back to that episode and let's talk all about boredom. All right. So. This is what I mean about feeling bored about actually setting some time. Intentionally to feel bored, but here's why I always like to give you the why I always want to kind of give you. The idea of considering. The importance of this, right. And this is the truth. You want to be able to. Separate yourself, separate your mind from everything else that is going on. Currently. And also. What you have intentionally distracted yourself with right. So for example, When we're feeling bored. Let me give you just the most recent example that has happened. When I went to go check out my tires. Um, at the tire shop tire shop. So my air wasn't running a little low, uh, kept, um, putting air in it. And again, the light would have come on. And so after like the third time that it did that, Um, consecutively. I figured I'd take it back to the tire shop where I had recently. But the tires. And so I planned. To only be there no more than 30 minutes. Right. And of course, anytime you take your car, To the car shop, to the tire shop, whatever it may be that it may need. Sometimes even the car wash, it's going to take longer than expected. And so for me, I always like to have something handy to do when I go to an appointment when I don't know that I'm going to be sitting in line. And when I go pick up my kids, I always have something that I'm going to either read, listen to, or engage in, in other words, social media as well. Um, I set that time apart to do only that, or catch up on text messages or call this person, make an appointment, reschedule, whatever I need to do. And so that day I really didn't have anything that was going to, um, you know, keep me distracted while I was waiting. Besides the TV that they have in that area, the waiting area. So long story short, the guy tells me it's going to be a little longer. And after, you know, the 20 minute mark, I asked, you know, if it, how long it was going to take that, I need to call my husband to come pick me up. You know, I'm already getting impatient and wanting to know what's next and making sure too that they didn't forget about me. And that they're taking care of my tires. So he's like, oh no, it's going to be a little longer. And you know, it may take up to. 30. 30 minutes. So this is additional, right? So almost an hour. So I immediately, so I was already scrolling. I can't remember where exactly if it was LinkedIn or Facebook or Instagram. And I remember going back cause I'm sitting down. And I'm like, um, there's nothing on TV because the TV was actually off. Thank goodness. There was no one there. It was just me. And the guy at the front. And 40 split. Second, I considered. Um, listen to some, listening to one of the books that I'm listening on. Audible. But then I'm like, no, I'm just going to sit here because this is something that I had recently also talked to one of my clients that I was coaching. And I had asked her. You know, what does it feel like being bored? And she was like, I don't know. I'm like, what do you mean? You don't know? And she answered that way. Um, because she said after that, she was like, I don't think of I've been bored lately. I just have a lot going on. I'm at work. Doing this. And, um, you know, Just doing other things. Right. So then that's when it hit me. And I was like, oh my gosh. Like I, I get why you're saying that. Because we intentionally distract ourselves with other things. Now, I'm not saying we're distracting ourselves with work or we're distracting ourselves with, you know, an activity like maybe going to dance class or maybe, you know, just spending time with your kids. That's not what I mean. I mean, The, the buffering part, right? The things that you to unconsciously, because you've done it so long, so many times. And so often. That now your mind is just wired to do things, right? So for me, it's like grabbing my phone, grabbing my phone. It's like second nature. Now it's it's as if my hand is just doing its own thing without my own awareness. And. I've gotten so much better at this, but there's always. Um, work that needs to be made, right? Like there's always room for progress and improvement. And I think that in this moment, even I sometimes catch myself and I'm like, whoa. I was not supposed to check my email. I was not supposed to check. LinkedIn. I was not supposed to check my text messages. But I've gotten a lot better, right? But what I've also haven't practiced enough. Is feeling bored. And so then after kind of reminding myself of that conversation that I had, uh, during one of my coaching sessions with my client, I realized, okay, I'm going to try this out and I'm just going to sit here and feel bored. And then I can really be honest. And really ask myself, how does it feel? Right. So here's the thing. This is why it's important because you are then. Only left with your thoughts. And most of those thoughts are going to be the things that you need to get done. So as I was sitting there. The first thing that came to mind was what am I doing immediately after. Once I get home because I still had plenty of time. This was like early in the morning. After I dropped off the kids. So again, It was a moment of being intentional. And really ask myself like, What do I really want to do? When I'm filling this. Right. So first experiencing, you know, what it feels like. And I, and I honestly just felt, um, kind of like antsy. I just wanted it to do the next thing. Right. I kind of. Wanted to think about the next thing and, oh, this other thing that I haven't done. Which by the way. I've recently learned that the reason our minds. Go to things that we have outstanding is because we haven't closed the loop on. Right. So like, you know how it feels really good to. Check off the block can have, Phil's go to, to, you know, cross things off because you're getting things done or accomplishing things. It gives us a dopamine hit. Right? So when we don't close that loop on that one thing, it's going to be constantly running in the back of our minds. So for me, that's what was left for me. Right. I was sitting there listening to the chatter that was going on in my mind. So I'm like, okay. When I am. Doing this when I am just sitting here, literally put my phone away. Ensured that I made no eye contact. With the guy at the front, because if not, he would have asked me something or I would have asked him something even. And. Took a moment to just close my eyes. Like I literally just closed my eyes because I wanted it to like kind of stop the chatter that I was having in my head. But then after I kind of, you know, just realize that it was going to be okay. I was just going to sit there and then just be with my, my own thoughts. Right. I then discovered. That. There were other things that I wanted to think about and consider right. There were other things that I wanted to be intentional about, and that was prayer. Because right now, I'm in the book club that, um, I share with my close friends and their close friends. I, so anyways, I have this book club. And we're. And we're talking about prayer. We're reading about prayer and. Um, We're just going all in on creating a strategy or being more strategic. About our prayers instead of just. You know, out there just praying, right. So for me, it was a moment to really ask myself. You know, why do I want to not only pray more? But also be intentional with my prayer. And after, you know, five, 10 minutes. I was really just kind of, you know, judging myself already about how I prayed and you know, am I doing it right? Am I not doing it right? And it allowed me to just be with the thoughts and the ideas that were coming up. So. Being able to just sit there. Kind of like at ease, just sitting there. With no agenda sitting there. Just analyzing things in my mind that were happening or that I was thinking, it allowed me to really be honest and true to myself on, you know, why I wanted to pray and how I thought that prayer was going to serve me. Not necessarily because of, you know, the things that I want. But more because of my relationship with God, right? Like how can I be more motivated, encouraged to pray? And I think that sometimes. You know, regardless of what it could be, you know, like sometimes we just don't take a moment. To really ask ourselves, like, what is it that we want? What is it that we want out of this one thing that we've been yearning that we've been trying to attain. And when we don't do that. We then allow our minds to get distracted on what we've trained it to get distracted on. And so when you get a moment to just. Allow yourself to be bored. Get your phone. Out of sight. Don't talk to anyone. And then just sitting there with boredom. Just sitting there with not having an agenda. Not having to think of the things that you have to do, but instead asking yourself. What is it? That I want, what is it that I want to change? What is it that I desire in doing? How do I want to live my life? Is there something that I need to change? Is there something that I am. Running away from. And on top of that, possibly even running away. I mean running from it, with things to do with adding more things on your plate. So the reason again, I'm offering you to feel. Bored. And allow yourself to just sit there with boredom. Is because it's going to allow you to be with yourself, allow you to be with the thoughts. The possibly. Aren't serving you. And even, you know, on the flip side, possibly discover. The beliefs and the ideas that you have, right. Because when I tell you, after I got my car, After the guy literally called my name, which by the way, it literally took almost 40 minutes. Um, and I didn't even realize that it had been that long because I was just kind of like thinking about, okay, this is why I want to pray. And, you know, I need to now go into the Bible app and, um, Look for other verses that are going to encourage me to pray, right. To kind of just set this, um, kind of strategy for me to consider in the future. Right. So, Allowing myself to just feel bored, helped me to consider something different in new. In that moment. And in case you didn't know this, our minds love something different and new. Our minds. I always want the new thing. Our minds are always seeking. To be interested. And so when we can do that in a way that it's intentional, that it's on purpose, that is something that is going to serve you and you doing out of service. Is definitely worth it. Trust me. Because as soon as I got my car, you know, the guy explained to me that one of the tires, you know, was the air was leaking through. And they fixed it and, you know, yada, yada, yada, they gave him my stuff and I, and I immediately got him a car. I looked at the verses. Uh, well, I literally searched in the Bible app and kind of saved some verses. Got in the car. And I just felt this relief of not feeling overwhelmed, not feeling anxious, not feeling as if I needed to hustle to get to my next task that I needed to complete. I just for soul. Clear and at peace. As soon as I get in the garden, got in my car. And so with that, I want to offer to that. When you're able to do that, it really gets you into also, um, this mode of commitment, right? Because I was honestly committed. I'm like, okay. I am going to do my best to not only continue to lean in, to guide, but also to lean into his word. To meditate on his word and help me and encourage me to pray. Because it's hard. I mean, it's hard to, um, sometimes just take a moment and listen to yourself and listen to the thoughts that you're having. Um, and then, you know, how do I do that through prayer? How do I do that through building this relationship with God? When I have so much going on, right. Not to mention scrolling on social media. Texting someone just because you feel you need to be distracted. Or searching the web, whatever it may be playing this game on your phone doing, um, something that, you know, isn't really going to surfing, right. Because. The reason you are. You know, scrolling on Facebook or in other words, I like to call buffering when you are just distracting yourself on this one thing. It's because you are. Running away from the boredom. You don't want to feel bored. You're like, Ooh, no, it feels scary. I don't want to be thinking about things that don't. Bring me any good or don't serve me when it comes to like filling. You know, stressed out or frustrated or anxious. Paul. What if. There is something that you want to work on. What if there's something that you've considered that you want to improve on? That you've considered that you want to, um, get better at or even consider right. Because you could also do a prayer. That could also be something that you could do, right. I could've in that moment, done a prayer. But what I've realized was that. I didn't want to continue to add. Two. The things that already had in mind that I needed to do. So I didn't want to have an agenda for it. I just wanted it to be, I wanted it to just sit there. I feel as if I had nothing to do. But just. Be with the thoughts that were coming in in my mind. And not in a way where, you know, I was beating myself up or I'm thinking about. You know, the things that I've sucked at doing, or my weaknesses or, you know, the discourage mint. Uh, the moments that I've been discouraged or feeling discouraged, but honestly, just to kind of see what I wanted to explore. Right. What was going to come up for me. And for me, it was, I want to get better at prayer. I want to get better at really doing. What I have said I want to do and need to do. And so for me at that moment, it was considering, you know, how do I become. Someone that really entirely just wants to pray. And so for me again, it was taking me into this space of okay. This is running to improve. And this is why I want to do it. Because I want to pull this relationship and I want to continue to be with God and spend time with him. Because when I tell you that. Me being in this bubble. Have, you know, Not realizing how important prayer is. Um, and could have been in my life and in the hard moments. It really brings me to. You know, um, Really just having grace for myself back. In those moments and now. Knowing that I know better knowing that I have. And I am. In God's word. I know. And I truly believe that prayer is everything. No matter what you're going through. No matter what season of your life you're in. Prayer is so important, not only to you, but most importantly, for you to continue to grow your relationship with our heavenly father. So with that. You know, I encourage you. I encourage you to intentionally feel bored. Twin tension. Feel boredom. Regardless of what you're doing or what you have going on, how many things you need to get done. I want to encourage you. To embrace Portland and embrace feeling bored. On purpose. Because. The last thing you want to do. Is to run away from boredom. And just continue to add things to do and continue to be busy and busy and busy and busy and not give yourself that space. That time to really be honest with yourself and really be with your thoughts and really be with the true desires in possibly even where you need to improve. Right. Because remember we're not perfect. We are on this broken world. In perfectly. Perfect. That's the best way I can put it. So that's what I want to offer you today. I would love for you to consider this and send me an email, send me an email or, um, follow me, connect with me on, on social media, on Instagram, on LinkedIn, on Facebook. Send me a message. And let me know if you try this, let me know if this is something that you did, even if it was for five minutes. Even if it was for two minutes, right? Like set a timer on your phone. Put it away somewhere. Put the volume on high so that you can hear when the two minutes went by. And after that small amount of time, Write down what went through your mind? Right? Was it something that you were probably thinking in the back of your mind or you had in the back of your mind, and now you were thinking about it? Let me know if this was helpful to you, because when I tell you. I'm implementing this now, even more, especially early in the mornings, because that's really, when my mind wants me to check my email check, social media. Check my text messages, check my, I mean, Check anything, right? Like just my mind wants me to do everything. At five in the morning. When the only thing you need to be doing is praying. And sitting with God. So with that, let me know. I really look forward to hearing from you and listen. If you haven't left me a review I want to ask you for a favor. I would love for you to leave me a review on apple iTunes. So all you have to do is go to iTunes or apple podcasts, I should say. And scroll down to the very bottom of this podcast. FA hit the follow button and also rate the podcast and leave me a review. It literally will take you less than a minute. To just tell me one sentence. One short message What you've enjoyed from this podcast, from these episodes. And tell me what you want to hear more about that would love to hear from you. And thank you so much ahead of time for leaving me a review. All right, ladies, that's all that I have for you today. I pray that this episode has resonated with you and that it blesses you and also encourages you to feel bored. All right have a beautiful rest of your week Bye.