Why Military Women Need a Strong Civilian Network

Do you have a strong professional network outside the military?

Today we discuss the importance of building a professional network outside of the military, regardless of how much time you have left in service or if you're planning to transition out soon. Wendi emphasizes the need to think ahead and start developing connections that will support you in your post-military career.

Full Show notes: https://wendiwray.com/232

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Transcript

Wendi: [00:00:00] Hey sis, welcome to Beyond the Military Podcast, where faith led military women overcome burnout and create more balance. Just imagine having enough time to focus on your faith, family, and have more fun while still serving as a woman leader. In this podcast, you will walk away with the tools to help you navigate the busy life of a military woman, organize your mind, overcome overwhelm, create a prioritization playbook, and a balanced blueprint for integrating faith, family, and career.

Yeses in that order. Hi, I'm Wendi Wray woman of God, wife, mama of two, army veteran, and certified life coach. And I'm here to help you create a life of meaning outside of the military, a life of laughter, joy, and intentional free time. If you are ready to overcome burnout and create balance as a faith led military woman, sis, this podcast is for you.

So loosen up your laces and grab your coffee because it's time to step into freedom and peace.

Hello, and welcome to episode 232. [00:01:00] How are you doing today? I hope you don't want to. Well, I hope you're doing amazing. And listen, if you're not it's completely okay. And I just want to remind you that if you need to take a knee, if you need a rest, please do so we need to take care of each other and you need to care of yourself. 

Just as much as I need to take care of myself to be here, show up for you and for you to show up for others, for you to show up for your family for the people around you, your friends. So if you get anything out of this episode today, Is to remind you to stay in the fight. Listen, life is happening in the background, in the military, outside of the military with kids, without kids, with a husband, without a husband, with friends, life is going to happen and that there's people out here ready and willing to support you if needed. All right I want to talk today about building a professional network. Outside of the military. Regardless of how much time you have left in the military, or if you're getting out or not getting [00:02:00] out. In the next three years, I want you to consider this. 

I want you to start thinking about the professional network that you have outside of the military. Not just in the military because listen, I get it. I was sucked in my day to day. All the hours, all the goals that I had, the mission that we needed to be accomplished. But if there's one thing that I learned and I continue to see this in the military community now is that we forget that we are going to get out one day. And the unfortunate part of this is that sometimes it's with a timeline that is given to us, meaning something happened, medically administratively. And now it's our time to go time to move on. Family happens. 

Right. And so I want you to really take a moment today. To focus on how you can begin to build your network, your professional network, outside the military. And one of the things that I love to do, and I [00:03:00] get a lot of like knowledge and wisdom from is listened to podcasts, of course . This is why I have my own podcast. But one of the things that stood out to me, and this was based on a conversation at Cal Fussman had on a podcast and he talked about building a community. And how , our actions and our results are based off the people that we hang out with like our immediate five close friends or immediate group of people that we hang out, that's how we continue to show up. That's what we continue to stay engaged, continue to create those results. I'm like, oh, this is perfect timing. It got me thinking, you know, how would my military transition into the civilian sector have changed if I would have had more professional mentors. Professional entrepreneurs professional women that were outside of the military doing things. 

And I could have had access to. How much of my success, also timeline would have been [00:04:00] impacted because of that resource, because of that mentorship and so today I want to share with you three advantages of having. A professional network outside of the military, meaning that you're not only relying on your military community. And I get it. 

Yes. I love our military community. It is key. We have a group where we feel that we belong and where we have this comradery. I get it. Yes. But also as you as a mom, as a wife, as a woman, outside of the military. Maybe you want to be a teacher when you get out, do you have other women teachers that you can connect with or are connected with now and say, Hey, I would love to get your insight what that looks like now, do you have other professionals that are in that profession? That you can contact today and ask a question. If the answer is no. Then this [00:05:00] episode is for you. And I want you to keep in mind that it doesn't matter when you think you have this timeline or when your time is going to be when you get out of the military. I want to offer you to just take a moment today. And ask yourself who were the first five people that you can contact that are not in the military and that are going to help you to be successful when you get out. Or to help mentor you as you are getting out of the military. And if you're somebody that you're already in the transition and you're like, oh my gosh, I have no one. 

Or I have one person. And not sure if I can contact, him or her because of, you know, their schedule or haven't contacted them in a minute. I want you to take advantage of the network that is out there for you. Because listen, people want to help people want to give back and especially serve the military community. [00:06:00]

So I don't want you to be shy. I don't want you to think that they don't want to help you. And I want you to be open to being vulnerable because here's the thing, here's one of the challenges that happened for me. When I was getting out. I didn't want to ask for help. I was one stubborn. I'm like, I got this. 

I've a master's degree. Who doesn't want me to work for them. Right. Who doesn't want this high performing officer working for them? Like seriously, that was my way of thinking my mentality. And I'm like, I don't need any help. I got this. I'll make my own resume and how to communicate for an interview. 

I got this. And so I needed help, but that was one of the challenges that I had. And I don't want you to go through the same thing I went through or even had other clients where they're struggling and they're like, listen. 

Okay. I definitely need help now I'm three weeks out or I transitioned out a year ago. And now here I am still stuck. And so I want you to be open to networking, building those [00:07:00] relationships now, even if you're going to get out in 15 years, even if you think you're going to get out in the next 10 years, things change, life happens. And so I want to offer you today to think about these three things, the first reason or the advantage. Is that you will be informed. The second one. Is that you'll stay connected, meaning that you're not going to be feeling alone. and three, it's going to help you build confidence. So the first one. You're going to stay informed, meaning you're going to have someone that will possibly even mentor you and provide you with real-time information of what's happening in that field, in that industry, within that job role. Someone that will possibly hold your hand and say, Wendi, this is what you need to know. And here are some tips. 

Here are some recommendations. Here's my advice. So now you have someone that is willing to not only [00:08:00] walk you through what's happening real time in that industry. In that profession. But is also willing to give you tips and possibly even resources. And that my friend is when you want that you want to be equipped as much as possible because when the time comes. Most of the time you're going to have to be dealing with how you handle your emotions, because it's going to be. A rollercoaster of emotions. 

Like you're excited to get out and you're like, oh my gosh, I'm going to miss it. Then you're excited again. And they're like, oh, I'm going to miss this. And then you're excited again. And you're like, what if I fail? You're excited again with all the freedom to come, but then you're like, okay, what's next? 

Am I really going to fulfill my career? My goal, my ambition, and continue to stay driven. And so again, When you're actually transitioning, you're constantly just focused on the rollercoaster of emotions. And getting by on. Every thing that comes at you [00:09:00] for, from work, from you being active from your family and from your future. 

Right? So you're constantly like, oh, here am, here's the gap. And here's where I'm going. And so it's, it's a cycle and it's like a rollercoaster, so you're not going to want to network. And trust me, that's what happened to me. I did not want to network. I didn't want to tell anyone that I was not prepared because I wasn't prepared. But I felt shame. 

And so I don't want this for you. And so that's number one, right? You'll be informed. Number two stay connected. You won't feel as if you're alone. You're going to have people. In your circle in now, you're going to feel like you belong with the group. Versus just being an outsider. 

Right. So you'll have someone or others to help you. Feel as if you are now a part of that community too, they might invite you to events. They might invite you to other conversations. And that's the key here. We want to be able to connect with other humans that are doing the things that we want to do possibly in the next five years in the next two years. 

And the next [00:10:00] six months, whatever it may be. So I want to encourage you to connect. So that you are now feeling connected, right? It makes sense. And then number three, you build confidence. 'cause now. I'm like, okay, now I know this, your brain is telling you that you are now knowledgeable of something. 

And when you're knowledgeable of something, then you feel empowered or determined or even confident. So you, then you do what you take action. And when you take action, you get a result. It may be the result that you want or may not be, but you can at least adjust and you keep going. Right. And so it helps you, the advantage is that it provides you with building confidence and that's sometimes all that we need is when we are doing something that we have no idea what it would look like or what it's going to result in all you need. 

Sometimes it's just a little push and a little bit of progress to help you boost that confidence to help you boost your self confidence. And so my takeaway and what I want [00:11:00] you to do today after this episode, I want you to connect. Either through a text message through a phone call through an email through LinkedIn connection. I mean, whatever works best for you, if you're like an introvert and you're like, okay, I really don't feel like doing small talk. And this is not my thing. It's because you're also feeling vulnerable. 

Let's face it. You don't want to feel like you're asking for help that's not something that you want to do right. You don't want to go into that negative emotion and I get, listen, we all go through that. But I want you to at least have an open mind on getting started. Again, which ever form works best for you. 

A text message for all. My introverts are like, Hey, I'm just going to text. And let it be or send an email and let it be that's fine. Start there. Ask another veteran that got out. Literally, it could be another veteran. That transitioned five years ago. And you're like, I haven't talked to this one person. 

I have yet to talk to Wendi after she left the military five years [00:12:00] ago, I'm sure Wendi is going to be excited to share with you all of her wins all of the things that she struggled with. So that it can help you. 

And then you take some of those learning lessons and apply it to your transition. And here's another thing. Or kind of like the last thing that I want to leave you with, if you're overthinking it. Or if you're not sure that this is something that you need to do. Don't overthink it. I don't want you to overthink this networking experience, which by the way, I have a video link in the show notes that I posted on LinkedIn a couple months back now. Where I talk about it, doesn't have to be perfect and it doesn't have to be over complicated. 

It just needs to be simple. You could start with this one question. And that is how did you get into this role? That's it like that's one question you can ask me that question. If you want to connect with me on LinkedIn, send me a message and ask me, how did you get into this role? How did you get into what you're doing now? You simply just have to ask that question. 

It's [00:13:00] that simple. You don't have to be ready to answer any questions. You don't have to tell them why you want to leave the military while you're not sure if you're gonna leave the military, let them do the talking. Let them tell you about their experience. That's all you need. Sometimes you just need to listen. And so I want to encourage you and I want to help you. Start building your professional network because listen, it's key when you're getting out. It's going to be key to introducing you to other people that have gone through what you've gone through to other opportunities, and this is something that you want to take full advantage of because listen, time is super valuable. And this is going to help you save time. And it's going to help you maybe the opportunity that you never considered. 

You're like, oh, I had no idea. That was something that we could do in the outside of the military. So again, I want to encourage you to start building a professional network. And do it as soon as you can. 

And that may be today. So again, if [00:14:00] there's anything that you're like, I really don't feel sure. Or if, you know, you're like, I don't know where to begin. Send me a connection on LinkedIn. And all of that in the show notes as well. You can connect with me under my name Wendi Wray and I'm happy to connect with you and answer that question or ask depending on where you're at in your transition or your consideration about getting out. And I also want to invite you to, if you haven't already register for an upcoming event, I have. Where I will teach you how to communicate. Your military experience to civilian employers. And this is going to be on August 28th. That is a Wednesday at 1:00 PM. Eastern standard time. And you'll learn the techniques that I've used and also teach my clients on how to communicate your military experience. 

I look forward to seeing you there have a great rest of your day. Bye

Hey lady, if this podcast helped you, challenged you or inspired you in some way, please leave me a written review for the show on Apple Podcasts and share it with another military [00:15:00] sister. Helping you integrate balance, prioritization and growth in your relationship with God is my ultimate calling. I'm so blessed that you are here and please join us in the faith led military women community on Facebook at bit.

ly forward slash beyond the military GRP. Again, it is. Bitly beyond the military GRP. All right. Talk to you soon. Bye