S3 E10 - Call me Esther, Woman Evolve Conference 2023 Recap, Finding Purpose, Overcoming Burn-out, Personal Finances, RIP Mohbad 💔🕊

My AI co-host's description for this episode: Ever wondered how it feels to step out of your comfort zone, face your fears, and conquer new territories? Well, this episode is a testament to that! As your host, Tolulope 'Esther' Olukanmi , I take you through a captivating journey. I discuss my life's voyage, from growing up in Nigeria to making my mark in the American corporate world. Be prepared to share in my joys, hardships, and amusing anecdotes - like becoming a proud plant mom and an entrepreneur selling T-shirts. I delve into my enriching experiences at the Woman Evolve conference, highlighting the diversity, strength, and beauty of black women and also share an unusual Amazon order gaffe. In the concluding segment, I reflect on some of the most impactful aspects of my life. I talk about health, a necessary doctor's visit and time-off work to recover from burnout, travel, and my adventurous exploration of alternative ways to commute around the bustling city of New York. I also share my exhilarating experience of selling my first batch of NIS T-shirts and how it has influenced my finances. As we wrap up, I delve into the healing power of love, art, exploring how understanding the context behind an artist's work can transform our perception of it. It's an episode filled with raw emotions, candid discussions, and uplifting narratives. You wouldn't want to miss it!

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My description for this episode: What my AI Cohost said! Looool, she be doing tewww much tho' but for the most part, she told no lies! Also, I came across the trailer I used to introduce Season 1 of this podcast back in 2021 and decided to use it as the intro for this episode. And maybe going forward as well? We'd see! Anyway, as always, I hope you enjoy listening as much as I enjoyed recording! (Sneaking this in too, haha - Podcast feedback form).

Restful hugs,
Esther O.

P.S. - I also have a visual recap of the Woman Evolve 2023 conference here - 1 , 2 , 3, Bonus. Enjoy!

P.P.S. - Welcome to Fall 2023, officially! I'm also still wondering if to go for Adekunle Gold's concert next week or not, lol (insert hot tears!)... arrghh. Yeah. Okay, bye!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Oh our salvation's in one day. One day he will wander through the grave. One day, come. Come To the praises of the world, to the praises of the world, hallelujah. Hallelujah To the one day, one day. We're standing out in Jesus. We're standing out in Jesus. We're calling out Jesus, we're leading out Jesus. Thanks be to the name of the Lord Jesus. Last night we were in the name of Jesus.

Speaker 2: 0:54

Hi guys. Oh my God, welcome back to another episode. And oh wait, I'll be right back. Ask about me on the streets of Ithica. They will tell you I'm popular everywhere. I mean, I'm that new Nandera girl who just came here and has friends in all sects and factions of this university MBAs, graduate students, undergraduate students, phd students. Like girl, I'm popular, fuck. But yeah, welcome to the Nandera Student Podcast.

Speaker 3: 1:27

This is Podcast Work. If I can do it, you can do it too. Good morning, guys. Today is Saturday, september 23rd I think. But yeah, good morning, I plan to release this episode today. I just woke up not too long ago and I was like I feel like I should just record an episode, you know, when you just. I've just been thinking about it. Anyway, happy Saturday. How was your week? Well, you had a great week For me. I was bedridden this past week. I took days off work because I finally burnt out. But anyway, welcome back. If you're new here, welcome. My name is Tolu Ulukomi, tolu Ulukomi Ulukomi. Actually, in fact, my name is Tolu Ulukomi, esther Ulukomi, welcome. Welcome to my podcast.

Speaker 3: 2:19

Here I share my journey. I have been sharing my journey from living in Nigeria, coming to the US, schooling during schooling in Zoom University, you know, being online for virtually half of my program and now my journey in corporate America. So this is an experimental episode and I'll explain why. So this morning I just woke up. I wish you could be here with me. You know, I've also sort of been in video podcasts too, but it's just a lot of performing and stage prep. I'm like this takes away from what I'm trying to do At least that's what I tell myself. I might just be lying, I might just be hiding, I might just not be wanting to do more. I wish you could be here to see how a beautiful Saturday this is for me. I'm now officially a plant mom, so I have all my plants there in Nigeria. I have four plants, five. I have five live ones and five I won't fake one, so five. I have my pumpkin pecan candle burning. You know it's a beautiful Saturday. I see the raindrops on my window. You know, for a long time I've not liked to admit it, but I think I like rainy season. I like the rainy weather. It brings out the homebody in me. You know, actually I think I'm a homebody. Okay, okay, you know what. This is where we digress. Oh my God, happy Saturday.

Speaker 3: 3:40

Follow me on Instagram. Yesterday you know that I posted that I'm finally like. I've made some changes to this podcast, you know, which I also announced in the last episode anyway. But you know, now I'm putting out myself there, I'm sharing, I'm trying to share my t-shirts. You know I'm selling t-shirts now, you know, if you're interested, for who reached out and I sold the first four within the past week. So thank you, shout out to my friend, someone shout out to you to be seeing I'm going forward for buying for yourself and buying for someone else. She was like I want to give away one, I want you to give one away to someone. And you know, I found one of my loyal followers on Instagram and I was like someone sponsored the t-shirt for you, would you be interested? And she said yes, so thank you so much. I have another friend of mine who bought three shirts on the go. So thank you, and you know I'm looking to go into who. These two are Much more stationary because I love those things anyway. So I'm like, okay, maybe I should just believe in this brand as much as I should really believe in brand as much as I believe in myself, you know. So, yeah, thank you, thank you all. And, if you're interested as well, there are links in my Instagram bio and there are links in this podcast too. There's a link TraderD, bottom of this podcast. So thank you. So, yes, I'm finally coming out of hiding. You know, if you're a former sub, you also follow me on Instagram.

Speaker 3: 5:04

You know, the last week I was at Home and Evolve, or two weeks ago actually now it's been two weeks in Dallas, texas, well, arlington, texas, you know. So I still haven't found the word. You know, usually when I feel so many things like this about something, I usually have no words to express it, but it was life-changing. I'm happy. I was in the room, honestly Like, and we had been planning this since January. A friend reached out to me from high school who had gone for a wedding last year in June or two years ago now, and she was like I think we should all go for this. Also, we were like three initially. Then another friend who I met at the wedding knew I was going. I was like, can I join you guys? And then we all shared a studio room with a kitchen. It was like going for like redemption camp in Nigeria, but like a different vibe. You know we would go back. It was the time when I wanted to go back to our hotel. Some people went back. You know there was food. There was.

Speaker 3: 6:02

Like I said, because I don't have the right to express how I feel, I don't want to even talk about it, but it definitely. Till now I still feel Sarah Jakes' words like charging through my bloodstream and my bones. That's why I'm showing up today. You know I'm showing up because I am. I want to use everything that is within me to serve and to honor God. So, yes, that's why I'm showing up. Anyway, I hope you've been good. Now you guys can answer me every time I ask how are you? I've also included an anonymous feedback form in the podcast, in my link tree too. So please write to me, please just say hello, you don't have to say too much, but please let me know that they're actually before on the other end of this, thank you.

Speaker 3: 6:48

So I said this was an experimental episode because, you know, I mean I have started that episode with music before, but that was like way back in season one, you know, on Saturday, I don't know. Raise your hand if you're one of those people who, like, on Saturday, mornings were like Jesus girls and the afternoon we're like, okay, well, I still do Jesus girls, but, like you know, bible believing baddies, you know. So, like I like to play gospel music in the morning and then, if I need to pick me up in the evening, I'm like playing my Afro beats, you know, but the conversation of should Christians listen to secular music and gospel music has been an age-old debate so, but we won't do that here today. I'm also learning to look for gospel. Afro beats as well, you know, because I know all these things, even if I want to say God doesn't care, he still loves me, but I think it matters to God that I keep my spirit clean, you know, and all of that. Well, I actually don't. I'm not here to have that conversation today, but, you know, we all know these things, so I'll leave that to you. But, yeah, I hope your weekend is going great so far. Hopefully, by the time whenever you listen to this, I hope it's also a chill weekend for you, you know, or it's going to be a good week for you. So I just want you to come in here, just do a check-in, because the next time I'm going to have a guest might be next week, but I didn't want to wait till then. I just want you to come in and say hi, you know, just to hear about women involved, even though that wasn't exactly successful.

Speaker 3: 8:18

Another reason why I emphasized my full name was because I want to tell you guys a weird story. You see, this is why Christians don't really I'm not afraid. Okay, I shouldn't say Christians. Let me not speak for everybody. I beg, let me speak for myself. This is why sometimes I'm afraid to carry Jesus on my head in public, you know, because I don't want anybody to minimize my story or make me feel like, you know, I'm yawning dust or okay, let me break that down, that's the end of my balance, or like I'm just saying things to get like or like clickbait. You know, I had and I've. I can't I'm going to share this public, this story publicly, because privacy is underrated anyway and I shouldn't be saying that I'm working privacy, but those that understand what I'm saying. Anyway, this is the story.

Speaker 3: 9:05

So there's this necklace I ordered from Amazon. You know, my cousin was here with me over the summer, so she's, she's Gen Z, she's, she's very much on TikTok, you know, so she's one that puts me on all of these cool fad stuff, you know. And she, she ordered a necklace, a three layered necklace, right, and I was like, oh, I want one too. Like where did you get this particular chain one? I want it. And she asked me to order this set on Amazon. So there was no T, my first name is T right?

Speaker 3: 9:36

And I was like, okay, let me buy L, let me buy the one that is L, short for Lulu. That's my pseudonym for when I write Miss Lulu. Well, not really, but I like to think it's my pseudonym. My medium is misslulucom. So I was like okay, let me get L short for Lulu. Lulu is short for Tolu. And so we ordered the. We placed the order for L and then my package comes and the order that is there is E. Ah, ah, I'm like which way Amazon. We went back, we checked, I was like did you mistakenly order Because she has primers? I was like okay, I ordered it through your account. I was like okay, did you mistakenly put L? And then we checked no, it was E. I was like okay. So I was just like thank God, my name is Esther, is that is not even I actually use the name. You know some of my passports anyway. So I go for woman evolve conference.

Speaker 3: 10:22

Now, like a month later, and the opening message, the text was taken from the book of Esther and how Esther was prepared for such a time as this. You know, like when she was and I think this story too is about Sarah I feel like during that whole conference, I feel like even the conference was for her. She keeps talking about how this whole thing is God showing her, how is such a big step of faith for her Like God is showing her that her ministry is much bigger than she expected, you know. So in her story we could, everyone could, see themselves, you know. And that conference also made me realize, first, that black women are beautiful.

Speaker 3: 10:57

Like I feel like people don't say enough and this is never me trying to be racist or anything Like this is me just owning the superiority of the black complexion. Okay, now she don't say that, not the superiority, but the classicness. I shouldn't say, oh my God, not the superiority, but like the beauty of the black skin, oh my God, if you're not black hair, please don't be offended by the name of God. This is probably, this is just a superiority complex. You know, and I feel like these things come from. You know, when you're being told consistently you're not fine, black is not beautiful, when you finally realize it, it's like, oh my God, we're the finest.

Speaker 3: 11:31

You know, that's how I also used to feel when I was, when I gained a lot of weight. You know or let me never speak for myself you know how all these women now is like my body, my beauty, my body, my, you know like there's a word is called body positivity. I feel like white people are taking it to the extreme where it's like, oh, free the bras, free the nipples. You know, I feel it's because they've been told so long that they have to dress more theirs, dress this way. So now, when it's like, when you finally realize, oh, I can do this without it being so bad, they now overdo it, you know. So I feel like that's what I'm trying to do when I say black women are so beautiful. You know, there were different hairstyles, different fashion dresses, fashion styles. I remember someone was there loved her bracelet so much I took a picture of it and put the picture in Amazon so I could search for it. That's how pretty people wear that I was like I have to steal some of their style ideas, you know. So black women are beautiful and I think black people in this country and now, you know, before I came to this country, I was Nigeria and I was never dressed as black Come in here and see what African Americans have gone through.

Speaker 3: 12:41

She would just be talking about her experience, or maybe how it is for single moms to be suffering, how it is to come from an abusive home, you know, or like people who have been sexually abused or have addiction in their family. You know they deal with that and you just hear people screaming in the hall. It's like what she's saying is piercing through their bones oh my God. And it's like chills everywhere, like you could see that God was really there to set people free, you know, and for the fact that they believe in generational causes, you know, that's something I definitely believe in because I've experienced it. You know they believe in setting people free. They speak in tongues, you know, which is not common in all the churches I've been to in the US. So it really felt like being back in Nigeria, you know, where people actually worship. Praise God, you cry.

Speaker 3: 13:26

It's been a while since I nailed down in front of God in any public space. The last time I ever did, I was probably when I was in Covenant, you know, and I found myself on my knees during one of the worship sessions. I was like, god, I'm so happy I was here today. Okay, let me not break into tears, but anyway. So I get my necklace and my necklace is E. And then I'm like, okay, yes, I was talking about so, yeah, we found that there is E.

Speaker 3: 13:48

And then, a month after, I'm at this conference and she preaches from the book of Esther and I feel like God was reminding me to own my name, like whatever it is that she preached was for me, you know, she even said some things. Me, I'm not one of these people that when a pastor is preaching, they will be standing up and shouting Preach, preach, preach. I'm not, it's not right now. I go to a black church. I love them, but sometimes I'm like, please, can you let me hear what the pastor is saying to the end of his sentence, you know. So I want to say that I will sit down in the miracle, like until the pastor finishes saying what he's saying. Like I'm not, I'm not good to jump because I actually want to hear everything that he's saying, no-transcript.

Speaker 3: 14:29

But when she was preaching from that book of Esther, I didn't even know. When I stood up, hey, I said it's like what they are saying is moving your body, but you don't know how to respond. And then you stand. I was like, wait, what am I up? And then I felt embarrassed for a moment because I'm like, oh my God, I'm like these other women that are standing up, and even before the conference, I jokingly said, when we're all the four girls that were there, we're like what are we all expecting from the conference? We're just discussing our expectations and I talked about how I'm here to discover purpose to fulfill, like I once got to.

Speaker 3: 14:59

Let me know, you know, what is the plan, because I've come to find that a couple of America can't just be it. You know, okay, yes, I left my country. Yes, I'm here now. Okay, why am I really here? If you have a hand in why I'm here, what else am I supposed to be doing? You know how else, if I was still in Nigeria, if nothing changed, what purpose was I supposed to fulfill all along, whether or not I'm in a different country, you know.

Speaker 3: 15:23

So I really wanted and I was also joking telling them that I need forcibly, I want to fall under the anointing. You know, when you go for and Holy Spirit, please, I'm sorry, I'm sorry to offend you, but you know, when people like go for things and they really feel the spirit and they fall, I'm like I want the wind to carry me anywhere. You know, I want to feel it. You know, but some people say, yes, you don't have to, you don't have to fall under that for you to feel God is there. And actually I didn't fall. You know, no wind pushed me, but I still felt God and, like I said, I still feel it. Sometimes I wake up and I'm still remembering some of those messages. You know, I even wish that I recorded them some of the people doing it but you know, I was like it did not cut me anyway. Anyway, okay, I think I'm finally able to talk about it.

Speaker 3: 16:07

My other so, when she read from the book of Esther, god reminded me of the necklace story and I was like God, it has been a while since I've had that kind of random. It's not really a miracle, but you know, god does speak to us in like the most random and weirdest ways. It's been a while since God spoke to me that way and at first I was like, should I call the Amazon company? Because if I call them, they will probably just tell me okay, we'll send you the L. You know we're sorry, we'll send you the L, but I'm like this mistake doesn't just seem like a packaging mistake, because they could have sent me any other freaking letter, like, even though T was missing, they could have sent me a, b, c, d, f, g, but they sent me a mistake. He sent me an e.

Speaker 3: 16:46

I'm me that normally I'm somebody who is always angry when. That's why I don't like eating out, because they never get my order, or maybe it's because I always expect them to fail, so they always fail. So, like I'm, I'm very hard to please when it comes to certain things, you know. So I was like I'm going to call them, I'm going to give them a customer satisfaction survey of zero that they misplace my order. But I felt like I just took it because I was like well, is my name? And now I don't know the point of this story, but is the is? I just feel like, and I didn't even plan to share this, but I'm just, I feel like God spoke to me in that way.

Speaker 3: 17:21

So now I have to really go back and really figure out this book of Esther. I mean, I have read it before because I'm like oh, it's my name, I need to know what it means. Although, when I asked my mom why I was named Esther, she said it was because I was born on a good Friday. I was born during Easter, so they named me Esther. You guys, yeah, my mouth is open too. I was like, oh, so you didn't name me Esther because you thought I was a beautiful baby or because you thought I was going to be queen, but anyway. So, yeah, that's, that's the most random story. And you know, I thank God, I'm like God. There's no other person who could have allowed them, make that kind of mistake in air quotes, you know. And send me that necklace chain E. So I feel like God is reminding me of you. Know, yes, your parents might just have named you Esther because it commemorates you to Easter, but I have a bigger meaning for you about it, you know. So, story of my life. So that's what happened two weeks ago. And then last week I came back.

Speaker 3: 18:16

On Sunday I stopped by in Houston to see my friends, for, as most of you know, I always say here, I love to travel to people, damn places. So of course, I tried to see all the people I could see in Dallas and shout out to all my friends who also made an effort to come see me, even though it was far. You know I love you all. Thank you guys so much. Even for Pell, I feel like shout out to UP, we saw each other, for, like, I saw her at 12 midnight. We got to Houston late. Then, mainly, we got home. We slept around like 2pm. We woke up around 10am and by 3pm I was gone. So I feel like we only saw each other for 5 hours. We didn't even really like, just we watched TV. We're just like how are you? It was like we lived in the same city and I just stopped by to say hi, you know, I was like well, that's what happens when you don't have your friends actually nearby, so you have to go see them. So thank you for driving. You know the 2 hour distance and, girl, I'm going to see you again in about 2 weeks. So you guys, stay tuned. We're going to Mexico, mexico. Bye, bye, this is me twerking, okay.

Speaker 3: 19:18

Okay, back to the podcast, but I am looking forward to it and I actually feel offended when people always tell me that's why you're sick, because it will not rest. Is it you? Is it your travel attenuary? Please leave me alone. Uh-uh Like, am I a baby, don't? I know that I'm supposed to be resting, but what has to be done has to be done. These trips have been planned, but then I say, because I feel sick, I should cancel it. Beggo, please, everybody just day their day. But anyway, okay, that was unexpected, but oh my god, I was quite pissed when someone told me that.

Speaker 3: 19:52

But anyway, so I took a week off. I fell ill on Monday, as expected, and I went to see the doctor again on Tuesday and she was like I can't see anything in your blood results, in your blood tests, besides the fact that you have low blood levels, of course, low energy, which is common in a lot of women, blah, blah, blah, but that she recommends that I should just take off the rest of the week and rest that I've been going, you know, I moved apartments, I traveled again, so I finally listened to the doctor, even though my manager had been telling me, and I finally, like I've been out sick now this month for about four days or five days, and so I finally I feel better. Honestly, actually, I think I feel better at least. So, hopefully. That's why I don't want to also push myself too much this weekend. Although I was invited to a party this evening, am I still going, since there's possibly a ride, because commuting in this New York it adds to the stress level, to be honest. So I'm happy that you know.

Speaker 3: 20:49

Let me even tell you guys a funny story. I remember when I was doing therapy earlier this year and the guy asked me to write. My therapist asked me to talk about one of my major stressors and I told him the subway and he told me to rate it over 100. And I said 90. I think he could not believe it. That's, how can a particular commute? And he told me that he wants me to challenge myself and go through like the things that make me want to avoid. I think he was teaching me how to avoid, avoid, dance, you know like to face all my fear. And I told him, sir, that's where this therapy will end. And I said this, of course, in Copspeak, I'm polite. I was like I'm sorry, mr Michael, this is where it's going to end, because then I'll rather change my therapy episode, because I cannot put myself.

Speaker 3: 21:34

I'm afraid of going through this therapy Like I fear for my life, even though I'm exaggerating. I'm serious. Whether or not I'm exaggerating, that's how I feel you can be asking me. He says that he told me that I would encourage you to go through it one or two times to overcome the fear. I said so this is not something to be overcome. Just get me out. If you cannot get me out of this city, then don't ask me to go to the subway. That's how bad he was, but Anyway.

Speaker 3: 21:59

So now, these days, I've started finding other ways to avoid it by like not going out who buried begging my friends? Please, if you're driving, please pick me up. Or like I mean, I still take the subway, but I like to take it up my terms, like when I don't feel paranoid about it, you know. Anyway, anyway, you guys, please be praying for me that somehow I'm able to be delivered from this New York City. Oh God, well, it's funny and not funny, but anyway, that's about it. But yes, like I was saying, I'm so excited that I've sold like about six t-shirts already and I'm happy, thank you guys.

Speaker 3: 22:38

I've also and I'm covering my eyes while saying this I've put some episodes behind payment walls because I feel like I think this is something some people would subscribe, pay to listen to. So, please, it's just three dollars a month. And I say just because I know all of you are very well to do or will soon become very well to do. You know, the prosperity is going around Jesus name. So, yes, I think I've gisted, you guys. I've kept you updated. This is just a life checking for the past two weeks.

Speaker 3: 23:09

I also plan to post on IG about my woman evolve, but you guys heard it here first. I also went for a sense shopping like pumpkin candle and burning right now. It reminds me, I want to say it reminds me of home, but which home? Maybe it reminds me of Itica, because that's when I found pumpkin scents when I was in Itica. So, yeah, reminds me of being upstate New York. I also want to do an episode on personal finances. I found out that since I moved I've had I'm struggling a bit with we keeping my finances because now I had to pay more. So I'm like even when I saw my first electricity bill was almost a hundred dollars and my last apartment like me and my roommate to split it, I signed up like maybe what? $30 or $40. I'm like I had to take some of my friends also losing this building.

Speaker 3: 23:57

I'm like is this your electricity bill? Living alone is so ghetto, oh my God. But yeah, so so I feel like I've had to. I'm now using world front. I mean, people have told me about ally high use savings account, blah, blah, blah. So I finally tapped into it, even though I had like money market funds and like stocks. You know so by. So now that I've lost some money from stocks.

Speaker 3: 24:22

So I'm like, okay, maybe I should just take all these lessons and just share Me. I'm not going to be one of those people Me I follow. I follow all these personal finance experts with my chest, with my life, so I really don't know anything. But I'm just going to talk from my perspective for people like, if you might be living paycheck to paycheck kind of not really, but like you also end paychecks, I can. I feel like if I share my experiences, maybe we'll all be able to learn 18 or two.

Speaker 3: 24:48

So for the first time this month, I'm paying my rent two times. You know, before I used to pay once, but now I've had to like split it between my paychecks. I've had to learn how to do that without incurring like a late fee, even my credit card. Now I'm learning not to max it out to like use below, excuse me to use below 30%. You know like so I could pay it off month by month. And I know, yes, people say, get as many credit cards as you can. I do not have that. In fact, my limit is less than 5K. Like I'm not on a list of what I have because I actually don't trust myself. Like people say that they have multiple and they use below for each of them.

Speaker 3: 25:26

Like I hate when money is scattered everywhere. I don't like, I don't. I've never, I don't like it. So I'm like God, how can I overcome that fear to be able to grow my finance? Because that's one reason that you know, that's one thing that held me back from moving my savings from a savings account into high yield account, because I'm like I don't want to put my money in a separate place. Like for one K is separate from five. It just felt so scattered to me. I'm like who's going to be monitoring all of this? So I feel like now I found like a system, a working system for me, and Worldfront allows me to use. Like is an app I just downloaded.

Speaker 3: 25:59

Someone referred, referred them to me and I use her referral link and the interest rate is like 5.3% compared to a regular person like is like 4.8, 4.2. So I'm not going to use it. And then I could connect my like bank account to connect my four one K to it and I say everything that a glass it even gives you. It even estimates your network at age 65. And guys, I don't know if I don't know if it's looking good or not, but I think if your network is in millions by six is something, then that's, that's a good catch. It gives me some form of hope. But yeah, so if you also want to refer a link, so if I give you, if you're referred, you get 5.3 annual percentage yield. Well, if you just download the, only get 4.8. So if you want to, you can DM me on Instagram and I can send you my referral link. And I promise you this is not an ad. I really wish it was, but it is not. It's just me to you sharing, as usual. So, yeah, and today I'm happy.

Speaker 3: 26:57

This morning I also spoke to my family. I find that every time I call my family I feel happy. So I try to do more of phone, even though this days is not like before, when I first moved, that you know how, when you call your parents, everything is still just very annoying. They just want to annoy you. Or is that today your cheeks are getting big? Oh, you know. But now I feel like everybody now still respecting themselves. But I think it's also because now I'm working, so this is not as much again.

Speaker 3: 27:23

But yeah, I spoke to my mom, my dad, you know, and I realized that I now I remember why this is me shading my sister, one of my sister that I will not specify who I'm with. She grew up, she used to like to fall sick and I hated that thing and I think that's why it took me nine months to finally break out, break down, because I'm someone who never used to admit that I was feeling ill or sick, because it's like to me, sickness is something that gets in the way of me doing what I need to do, you know. So it's like just ignore it, you know. But this is my sister, because my father, every time, if any of us are sick, anytime we have, you know, for girls, like every period pain, my father would just stop, even if you're on duty. So I come from a family of five girls. We used to have roosters, people working in the kitchen, people cleaning the bathroom today, cleaning staircase. You know my father would just. If he, if you just taking a seat, ah, then my tummy is paining me. He'll just say stop it, stop it, stop it.

Speaker 3: 28:16

Go and call Tolu, and you know, I'm the first born, it's always me that needs to trap. You're gonna call me Tolu. Come and finish what your sister is doing. In short, put water on the fire. Make Milo for her.

Speaker 3: 28:25

So my house, milo too, was a thing you know was, and it was a medicaid. It was a aid, was a cure to every form of headache or holics. Make tea for her and go and give her upstairs or green tea or anything. So that thing used to pepper me so much because I knew that she used to fake it. Okay, she, I used to think she used to fake it. Well, now I've come to realize that it wasn't fake, but I think she used to over dramatize it so that and me, I didn't even have it in me to dramatize my sickness. Even when I was still in my period, they asked me to watch the bathroom and wash it, because to me it's like anyway, I like the way I wash the bathroom anyway, so I'm just going to do it, you know. So, wait, why did I get in now? Okay, yeah.

Speaker 3: 29:05

So I called my dad when I was sick too, because I wanted that daddy love, you know. So, one of those. They're just sitting me before my dad and if I tell him I'm sick, he will really pump me, even from Nigeria, you know. So he was like, ah, my daughter. He stopped what he was doing, he was on. His father, was like oh, driver, driver 22 of 22 of my daughter in America is calling me. She's not feeling fine. Oh, my god, yeah, I love, I love my parents. And then he now said I hope you're feeling okay, he's, my mom died. Every change you end with prayer. My father didn't pray for me. He was just like okay, what are you doing now? Please go and lie down, please eat. You know the way was it would do it.

Speaker 3: 29:44

I'm like, yeah, nobody cuz in this quote. Oh, I have good friends here. I haven't had a friend who offered to come see me, who even came to see me when I was weak three weeks, sick three weeks ago, you know. So I'm so low. This is, this is a shout out to my family and my parents. Actually I think that's the point of saying that now. You know he texted me. He now sends me all these what's up videos about muscle pain and maybe you're not drinking enough water that you should raise your leg. I say thank you, thank you, thank you, daddy, it's okay, I've got him what I wanted from the call. But yeah, I was really cute, it was my mom, so she checked in. So, yes, I guess love, love can heal you too, you know. So, you guys, I'm praying for love from you. I personally love those.

Speaker 3: 30:25

Also doesn't always come from a the opposite sex or the what they call it. Now I have to be respectful to everybody the opposite sex or it doesn't always come from a partner or a sexual partner. I'm not gonna say rubbish now, but you get, you know it could come from like, but Platonic friendships come from your family and it come from our Lord Jesus Christ. So thank you, god, for all the love that's available today. So thank you, guys. Again, thank you for your support, as always. And oh my god, yes, I also want to. I Cannot any spot cast without also Lending my voice or my form of my emotions to move bad. If you're Nigerian, you know that all of us. Everyone seems to be angry about his unjust death. You know, I believe even the podcast.

Speaker 3: 31:18

I also follow a lot of creators. I follow social media too. They've all been talking about it. Like I'm funny enough, I never knew the face of mobile until he died, but his songs I know that I used to like to listen to his songs. Hmm, and I'm saying this on my podcast because I mean, yeah, I don't think, hopefully I cannot be sued or canceled, but because I feel like I have a trustful community.

Speaker 3: 31:41

But so before I used to call myself in Malia, ah, I used to say I'm a secret Malia. I love, I love, like this song, that M so, p so like those songs and the things to just inject, you know, divide, but just is to like it After announced, or somebody counsel Naira Malia and that particular guy that can't shoot Naira Malia. I'm never his fan because he talks too much. You know, let me not mention body snips, let me just respect myself. But this one actually spoke to me because I actually realized that, ha, if this Naira Malia is actually involved in this guy's debt, it's not before Nio, if he's actually this type of person. You know, like people already canceled him that he's from Peckham, he's from a very ghetto place in London, the UK.

Speaker 3: 32:21

I was like, uh-uh, please, his art is all that matters. You know, I'm all. I'm one of those people that even Trump, kanye West, I don't. Yeah, there's a cancel, people like that, you know. I mean, please, let's focus on the art that you gave us. Everybody has personality issues. They're still working on right. You want this? Put that throw Stones at all these people's. You know, they say don't throw stones if you live in a glass house. You know, I mean, I don't throw stones at any of this because, yeah, I even watched another documentary on Kanye West recently on HBO Max about, and the documentary actually showed us Kim's side of the story and Kanye's side of the story. Ha, at first I was ready on Kanye's side, you know, but I was like, ha, now that I'm hearing Kim's story, ah, he doesn't balance. So maybe Kanye, too, was out of line, you know. So, yeah, it's right, I wish I was watching what I'm listening to, this song at the beginning of this episode, is what has been a replay right now, and then this song, yolo by Fields, has been a replay too for me.

Speaker 3: 33:19

Um, for shows. I'm watching Barry because my Netflix is not working anymore. I used to share Netflix with a friend, but they are finally they're really forcing us to pay for a new account, so I haven't really been on Netflix but I've been watching this series, barry and, of course, money show. Season three is out. But you know, anyway, I said all this to say that I went to one quickly.

Speaker 3: 33:39

There was an episode on, there was an, a post on instagram where I went to go and delete it, where I said I'm a man and I said a beg, go, go, please me. I don't support courtesan, courtism and the way this guy died. You know, even now, self, any time I hear any song that sounds like my life, I don't want to listen again. You know, before people have been saying all these things that are even my, our face, like David O, but a boy, that all this part part of court. But you know, I don't need to believe it because it's how they also sold us the Aussie's part of the limnati, you know, and jz, and I'm like a beg, a beg. But now I'm like please, wait for this thing. So I really go that beg, go, please, please. So now I'm really trying to, I'm really, really good.

Speaker 3: 34:17

God says I'm really trying to let go. It's like we draw our letting go of not being able to play some secular songs now If, honestly, if it's like, it's like I'm fighting for my life when I see them on my playlist. But, yeah, we do everything to please, please, god. You know the christen, so I really want God to know where my heart is. So, but, yeah, I repeat my bad like your songs, that that song KPK, opp, like I still use it when I talk to people. That is like a verb now when you tell somebody is plenty KPK, like you gave us that. So I can't like you shouldn't be forgotten in a hurry.

Speaker 3: 34:55

So I hope you're so resting peace. I mean, the real Tolu would pray that your soul actually avenges, avenges for yourself, but I know that and vengeance is of God. Honestly, I don't think you can avenge for them the way God should avenge for them. But but they also say God's a loving God. So you know, I have so many questions these days about our religion.

Speaker 3: 35:19

But yes, um, but yes, I do hope I and I pray for respite for your, for your wife and for your son. I pray that your son doesn't grow up angry doesn't grow up. Touch ups doesn't grow up feeling, you know. Yeah, apparently I see that growing up in a single home actually does more harm than good, because there's a there's a lot. I wish I could say, there's so much, you know. I wish I could say but. But yeah, you know times we live in. But, yeah, okay, I hope, I hope I haven't ruined your weekend by by any form and I hope you enjoy the g-stream. And this is not all the gist I gave. I didn't expect to give it, but, yeah, this is why we do what we do anyway. So have a lovely rest of your weekend.

Speaker 3: 36:03

I guess I'll see you in the next episode or on instagram, wherever you do usually see me. Please leave me a feedback note, please. I would appreciate it. I really do appreciate it. It would be nice to know that I'm not the only one here and, like I said, this is an experimental episode. So if you notice anything different, let me know, if you like it or not, if you like the change or not. And, yeah, I'll see you in the next episode. And thank you if you wished me well while I was sick. Thank you so much. I feel so much better now. I feel ready to jump back into the game, you know. So. Thank you all and Bye guys.