Ho' oponopono

Four short lines can sound like a cliché until you try them when your chest is tight, your mind is spinning, and your body is still carrying the charge of what happened. We sit down with the Ho'oponopono prayer, an ancient Hawaiian healing practice, and share how “I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you” becomes less about performing forgiveness and more about clearing the energy inside us. The goal is not shame. The goal is returning to love.

We talk about why spiritual tools hit in layers and why something you “didn’t get” years ago can suddenly feel like the missing key. Then we break down each phrase in a real-life way: acknowledging pain without self-attack, letting go of the story without denying it, using gratitude as a grounding practice, and building self-love as medicine. Ho'oponopono becomes a nervous system practice, a heart practice, and a pathway toward self-forgiveness when your inner critic is loud.

You’ll also hear a simple guided approach you can try immediately: pause, breathe, feel your feet, make contact with the person or situation or sensation, and repeat the prayer while noticing what shifts in your body. We get honest about what happens when you aim the prayer at someone who hurt you and your body says, “I don’t love you.” From there, we explore why starting with yourself, doing shadow work, and taking real accountability can open the door to authentic forgiveness, while still keeping strong boundaries and never excusing harm.

If you’re searching for emotional healing, forgiveness practices, self-compassion tools, or a grounded way to work with resentment and anxiety, this conversation is for you. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs a softer way back to themselves, and leave a review with the phrase that hits you the hardest.

Transcript

Welcome And Why It Returns

0:01

Hello, and welcome back to the Spiritual Shit Show. My name is Julie Nguyen, and I wanted to record a quick podcast regarding the Ho'oponopono prayer. I learned this, gosh, maybe 20 years ago, and it's just now coming back into my life and deeper, more like, "Oh, I finally get it." And with that being said, I wanna remind you that There have been many spiritual teachers that have come along my path, and sometimes I'm into them, and sometimes I'm not. There's so many books that I have purchased over the years, and when I get it, I'm just like, "I don't get it yet." But then 10 years later, I get the book and I'm like, "Oh, all of this makes sense." So just know that everything is layered. Everything is in divine timing, and sometimes you're going to understand something. Sometimes you're gonna revisit something 10 years later and you're like, "Oh, I get it." And sometimes you're not gonna resonate with it at all, like ever. and sometimes you're not gonna resonate with something just, right now. And sometimes you're gonna not resonate with the people who are saying it. So anyway, I just wanna give a little bit of grace and space to that and just acknowledge that.

What Ho'oponopono Means

1:11

But Ho'oponopono is an ancient Hawaiian healing practice centered around reconciliation, forgiveness, responsibility, and restoring harmony. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. And what I love so much about this practice and this prayer first, I have to be honest, 'cause when I first learned it, I was, like, forcing it. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. 'Cause I wanted that magic of restoring harmony. And now I'm able to sit with all of this in the remembrance that the prayer is not about shame. It's not about making

The Prayer Without Shame

1:52

yourself wrong, and it's not even necessarily about the other person. But it's about clearing the energy inside of you. It's about returning yourself back to love. It's a beautiful prayer to unhook shame and guilt. It's also a prayer that you can use to remind yourself that To let yourself off the hook. We can always go back and reflect and look at, "Oh, I coulda done that better," or, "I shouldn't have said that," or, "Whoa, I was really acting out of line." I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. Where I am now is, how can I increase my ability for self-love? And with self-love comes self-forgiveness. I'm sorry. I acknowledge the pain. I acknowledge the distortion. I acknowledge that something inside of me is asking to be healed. Please forgive me. It's an opening to release attachment, an opening to soften, an opening to stop gripping so tightly to the story. Thank you. This part always feels really powerful to me because gratitude is the attitude. Gratitude is the practice that offers us the key to really step into more an embodied loving frequency. And sometimes it's hard. Thank you for the lesson. Thank you for the awareness. Thank you for showing me what still needs love inside of me. And finally, I love you. And this is the space that has been so shockingly coming through for me. When I wake up in the morning, my mind goes straight to, "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you." When I'm working out on the Pilates machine, where my old self would be like, "Oh, gosh, Julie, you're not flexible enough. You're not strong enough. look at you," now it's like, "Oh, my gosh, I love you. I love you." Self-love is the medicine because love is the thing that restores. Love is the thing that reconnects us all. Love is the thing that dissolves separation. Love is the thing that reminds us that eventually all of it turns back into love. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.

Where And How To Use It

4:16

Ho'oponopono can be used in so many ways. You can use it towards another person. You can use it towards your own body. You can use it, body, self. You can use it towards yourself. You can use it towards fear, towards money, towards anxiety. You can use it towards old versions of yourself, and you can use it towards life itself. There have been many moments where I've literally sat there repeating, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you," over and over and over again, not because I intellectually understood what was happening, but because I could feel something softening inside of me, and that's the key. This is not a mind practice first. It's an energetic practice. It's a heart practice It's a nervous system practice. It's a, oh my gosh, can I hold myself so compassionately to this life experience? Can I hold you so compassionately to this life experience? Whoa. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.

A Simple Guided Practice

5:24

So I'm gonna walk you through a really simple way to work with it today. So when you're ready, just pause, take a deep breath, feel your feet on the ground, and allow your awareness to move towards that person, situation, feeling, tension, or towards self. But whatever's been possibly sitting heavy in your physical body or on your heart, and just compassionately make contact with that. Don't force anything. And just notice that as you make contact with it, just what naturally arises. And as you make contact, with that person or situation or feeling, or hand on heart making contact with self, and as you breathe into your ability to courageously make contact with this sensation, just softly inside allow your heart to speak, I love you. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you." And just notice what happens in your body. Notice if something softens. Notice if your breath deepens. Notice if maybe there's less resistance.

When You Cannot Forgive Yet

6:49

I will share that when I was practicing and using this towards other people, I love you, immediately my body is like, "I don't love you. I hate you. You hurt me." I'm sorry. "I'm not sorry. You hurt me. I'm still in pain." Please forgive me. "Uh, please forgive me? I didn't do anything wrong. You're the one who should be saying, sorry to me." I love you. "Oh, I do love you, but you've caused me so much pain." So I just wanna share that my experience with the Ho'oponopono prayer when I was really in the depths of my healing and still holding on to such anger and resentment, the prayer would work for me when I actually turned it to myself first. Hand on heart, Julie, I love you. I love you. I am so sorry. I am so sorry this happened to you. I am so sorry that you feel this way. I am so sorry that you are carrying this weight. Please forgive me. Please forgive me for the times that I've abandoned you. Please forgive me for allowing us to stay in that situation for too long. Please forgive me for allowing you to be treated that way. Please forgive me for abandoning you. Please forgive me for not seeing your worth and your gifts. Just please forgive me and thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. So just know that as you are practicing I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, and if you do use it towards a person that hurt you, maybe... So the goal here is to soften, right? So maybe the softening then just starts with you. I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, to yourself first. And then when the charge within yourself has softened, then you can begin to practice I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, to the other person.

Shadow Work And Self Accountability

8:43

And with that also, you know, I will say, this journey of my spiritual shitshow has been 10 years, and for so long I was really dancing with the anger and the resentment and, cursing the entire family line and cursing life and cursing myself. Why did I choose this? Like, all of it. And there are two sides to the coin, and I hated this concept when I was in the throes of the this was done to me, I am so angry, I did not deserve that, and fuck them, and fuck that whole situation. When I was in that part, that stage, normal stage, when I was in that stage, I did not want somebody to tell me, "You have to love them more," or, "You have to forgive them," or, "You have to let it go," or, "You have to, just move on and bury the past." I- that's not the stage that I was in. And I definitely didn't love it when people say, "You have to take accountability for what you manifested." "You have to take accountability for it, too." I was like, "What?" Again, no. and through the healing and the ability to go down layer by layer by layer by layer by layer by layer, the hardest part was the shadow work, and that shadow work, which I now believe is just karma. That's what karma is, is realizing the role that you did play in it, and the opportunity in the shadow work is the space to practice and to know What self-forgiveness is. I think learning how to forgive yourself is the hardest thing, the hardest thing, the hardest thing. 'Cause you can forgive somebody else and just move on with your life, but you're with yourself all the time. You have to learn how to forgive yourself, and it is... For me, it was treacherous. When I was in a meditation and it was like, "Okay, we have heard you," is what the guide said, "Now we're gonna show you the part that you played," my... I was just like, "Fuck, fuck, fuck," because I knew it was all true. I knew it was all true. I had to see the part that I played in what was eventually the catalyst of my breakdown and the beginning of my spiritual shit show. That was hard stuff. I love you, I am sorry, please forgive me. Thank you. And it wasn't until I held the shadowy part, the hard look at where I was withholding love, where I was being an ass, where I was being arrogant, where I was not giving somebody the benefit of the doubt, where I was pushing somebody else down so I can get ahead, where I was resisting love, where I thought I was a know-it-all. Who wants to look at that? Nobody. But it wasn't until I was able to look at that within myself and forgive myself, then could I actually use this prayer on the other person. Then I could actually authentically say, "I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you," because I'm able to acknowledge the role that I did. So I'm just putting that there, 'cause that is what came up for me, and that might resonate for you, too, if you're using this to help in the process of forgiveness. For me, what I have found, again, is that I had to really... I had to do the shadowy work on myself and to see the role that I played in it. I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, to myself. And then, again, I could really send that prayer for harmony to the other person.

Boundaries Plus A Closing Blessing

12:34

With that being said, I wanna say that forgiveness does not mean allowing harmful behavior, and forgiveness does not mean bypassing boundaries, and it doesn't mean pretending that the pain didn't happen. It's just creating a space for it to not live inside your body anymore. So this week, maybe the practice is simple. Maybe instead of overthinking everything, you pause, you breathe, and you return yourself back to love. Hand on heart. Hand on heart. I love you. Ugh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry all the times that I didn't believe in you. I'm so sorry for the times I've abandoned you. I'm sorry for the times that I, ah, I forgot. I forgot the power that lies within. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Please forgive me. And thank you. Thank you to self for continuously showing up for self and for life. Thank you for holding all the burdens. Thank you for the pain. Thank you for the space and the courage to heal. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. And may this Hoʻoponopono prayer help maybe give you a key on your spiritual key ring to support you if you ever need a little bit of self-compassion, self-forgiveness, a dose of self-love. Thank you for being here. I love you. Please forgive me. Thank you. Sorry. Till next time.