EVERYTHING CHANGED

What happens when a man who was homeless and planning to end his life gets stopped by a stranger at a bus stop? This week on Midweek Motivation, Jess sits down with Ben and Monica Morrow, a married couple at Westside who carry two very different stories of pain, transformation, and the kind of change that only God can produce. If you've ever wondered whether people can actually change, this conversation might convince you.

Discover:

• How a stranger's prayer at a bus stop became the turning point in Ben's life
• Why it took 10 years after that moment for Ben to call himself a Christian
• Monica's journey of searching for healing in all the wrong places before finding God
• What Men's Alliance and Women's Alliance at Westside have done for their growth
• Why they believe change isn't a destination but a daily, active choice

Transformation isn't instant, and it's rarely clean. Ben and Monica are honest about that. But what God has built in them, in their marriage, in their family, and in their daily choices is evidence that real change doesn't require you to have it all together first. Sometimes it starts with one prayer you didn't expect.

Key Takeaways:

• Change is inevitable. The question is what direction you'll change in.
• God doesn't waste your pain. He makes purpose out of it.
• Community accelerates transformation. You weren't meant to do this alone.
• You don't have to fix yourself before God can start working.
• Saying yes once can set an entire life on a different trajectory.

Question for you to think about:

What if the change you've given up on is closer than you think, and the only thing standing between you and it is one decision to lean in?

If this encouraged you, share it with someone who needs to hear it this week. Drop a comment with your story. And make sure you subscribe so you never miss a Midweek Motivation.

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Transcript

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SPEAKER_01 0:00

I've dried my tears. I sat there and I just was contemplating, you know, what what am I going to do? How am I going to do it? And uh. And this lady walks by, goes into Safeway, comes back, and then comes around the corner again. And she stops and asks me if I'm okay.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Welcome to the Midweek Motivation Podcast, where we bring practical help for your faith and life. Here's today's episode.

SPEAKER_03 0:26

Hey guys. Welcome to this week's Midweek Motivation. My name is Jess, and I've got a couple of great guests here, Ben and Monica Morrow, and we're jumping into the conversation that we're talking about right now is the healing that we receive from God and how that changes us. And we're we're answering the question can God actually change us? And when I started to think about this, Ben and Monica, you guys came up. Um, we've had a couple of conversations just over the years about God's healing and God's transformation in your guys' life. So you came to mind for that reason. Um, and so first, would you guys introduce yourselves? How long you've been at Westside? What do you want us to know about you?

SPEAKER_04 1:13

Sure. Yeah, I'm Monica Morrow. Um, we've been at Westside for probably three years now. Um we're married, we've been married for two years now, and we have Daisy. I don't know if you anybody of you, I'm sure you've seen Daisy Jess um running around. Cutie, yeah. And um, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

And I'm uh Ben Marrow. Uh in Men's Alliance, they call me Rocket. Uh and uh I don't know. I I this is fake. That's Fay. Um and you know, I've seen so many blessings through uh the people out of uh West Side and just learning so much uh from the pastors and and the the community itself and uh I've done um you know a little bit of volunteering there, uh mostly in the background. Uh yeah. But yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:25

Oh yeah, I guess I should say too, like yeah, I'm on in Women's Alliance, that's a new thing uh at West Side, and it's it's oh done wonders. And um my have a call sign and it's Ren, because it's a bird and I love singing. Um and I serve on the on the worship team as well.

SPEAKER_03 2:41

Awesome, awesome. Okay, very cool. All right, well, um we I like I said, I've we've had conversations here and there um about you know just uh how God has grabbed a hold of you guys. And so um I'd love it if you'd share a little bit about your story, like um how you f found Jesus, um, whatever you feel comfortable talking about as as far as that healing um process goes. Do you want to share a little bit about your your faith story?

SPEAKER_01 3:12

I guess I'll go first on this one.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

Um in my youth, I will say that I grew up in a home that wasn't very religious. Um, in fact, quite the opposite. It it wasn't atheist, but it was, you know, they kind of idolize things.

SPEAKER_03 3:33

Pretty pagan.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

Pretty pagan. Um and you know, my stepdad, though, I will say he came from a Catholic background, and so he did have like a little bit of that, you know. Uh anyways, uh but I would go to Iwanas in my youth, and it was mostly for you know to go play dodgeball. Um we did do a little Bible study, which was cool. So there was introductions to uh God in my life, but nothing grabbed a hold um until my late twenties. Um or mid-twenties, sorry. Mid-twenties. Um and I uh was homeless for a period of time, and uh I had just got a place to live, and then uh due to uh the black cloud that was basically over my head because I just had so much trauma and and garbage just piled in my life, um, bad decisions, um, you know, addiction problems that that were like not super extreme, but definitely got into it. Um and I I was trying to leave that world. Um, but I felt like I couldn't get away. Not everything was like holding me back. And uh and especially myself. Um but in that dark cloud I had got to a point where I was like, I basically wanna, you know, go jump off a bridge. Um and uh and so that day that I decided that, funny enough, is that the day that um they kicked me out and uh and I was already kind of it was like uh pre-planned it was like it's like here, let's go really low here and then kick you some more. Kind of like a rock bottom moment. Yeah, definitely a rock bottom moment. And uh and I mean I didn't blame God, I blame my choices. I blame myself um for everything that that I went through. Uh all of it was my choice in the end. Um it's how it felt. Um I know there are some circumstances that that I couldn't control, obviously. That's that's I mean, that's life. Um but uh once I got to the bus stop, I had already been, you know, kind of bawling my eyes out a little bit quietly, you know, as their my friend's sister dropped me off at the bus stop. I dried my tears, I sat there and I just was contemplating, you know, what what am I gonna do? How am I gonna do it? And uh and this lady walks by, goes in the safe way, comes back, and then comes around the corner again, and she stops and asks me if I'm okay. And uh I was like I mean I'm fine. She's like, well, I I get the sense that that you're not feeling okay. And uh and I was like, I was like, yeah, I mean sure, I'm I'm not you know, I don't I don't know what's going on, you know, and I don't really fully remember the whole conversation, but that's kind of where she ended up she was like, Can I sit next to you and uh pray with you? And I was like, Yeah, sure, what is it gonna hurt? You know, and so she starts praying with me and then she asks me if I would uh be willing to accept Jesus Christ into my heart. And that prayer that uh Gabe does at the end of every service uh see if I can remember it, is uh no. I mean be what you're I know it's I know it's something along the lines of uh God, I believe in your life, your death, and your resurrection. Um and and I accept you in my heart. And uh after that moment, something came over me. It was there there was actually a warmth to that situation. Um and actually I would say I still felt kind of like a dark cloud, but it wasn't so looming. It was just kind of more inner turmoil than than actual, you know, somebody ran in on my parade. And uh and so I uh I uh got on the bus and and on the way to Portland, because I was planning on uh going and jumping off uh the bridge uh onto in Portland uh on the rails, um something came over me. I I suddenly shifted my mind to you know what, there's something I can try here. Even though I wasn't good with my my dad or really, you know, anybody back home necessarily, especially due to my own anger um and fear um they ended up accepting my offer, which was I asked if I could uh work for a roof and food in in my stomach, you know, a roof over my head and food in my stomach. Uh and I did that for a few months and and then eventually I moved out of there, and ten it took ten years really to call myself a Christian after that moment. Um But it was that moment, it was a pivotal moment of like God was like, I ain't done with you yet.

SPEAKER_04 9:49

You know, and the amount of changes it it's been like a whirlwind, I feel like, in his life since that moment.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

I brought the storm to her, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04 10:03

No, I mean just uh from from what I see, the changes that I see in him is like astronomical. You know, I knew him I think six years before we even started dating. Uh or a few years. It was a few years before we started dating.

SPEAKER_02 10:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 10:22

Yeah. And um and from that person to the person that he is today is a completely different person. So you ask like if people can change, then my my answer is absolutely yes. I see the evidence of that in front of me on a daily basis. Um that that question though, however, has like some some caveats because I think that people can change, but it's it's not a destination, right? It's not like, okay, I'm changed, so everything's good now. You know, it's kind of it's something that's very active that you have to continue to work on every single day. Um I jokingly call him the the king of try because he he does that every single day, where he is working towards it every single day, but he has that strength of God behind him now where he didn't have that before. And so that that's been really like help helping carry him. So that's that's what I see in him.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

And I'm gonna say that that God being behind me has brought a whole new uh, I think, vigor. Uh, where I'm feel a little more bold. Um I I'm definitely getting I've always been an ambitious person after after my mind changed after that shift. Um but like now it's like not just ambitious, but but like I'm actually getting things done. You know? And and and I wouldn't even say necessarily done, but like God, God just helped you focus.

SPEAKER_04 12:07

I think keep the focus.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

Yeah. He grounded me in reality, is a lot of the time what I say. Um when when when I lost myself, like I mean, I went on a barefoot walk to Sandy, Oregon from 185th and TV Highway because I had lost myself. I lost everything. I didn't know up from down and left from right. So I just I was like, what do I do? And and God definitely answered that, which is you know, uh just keep your eye on on better things, because there are so many more better things that you can keep your eye on.

SPEAKER_04 12:48

Like uh incredible. Like you I I tell myself I make this joke also. I'm a I'm a jokester. Um, but I make this joke all the time. Like, who would have thought that I would have married a homeless man?

SPEAKER_02 12:59

You know.

SPEAKER_04 13:02

But it's so it's incredible to think that like where he came from to who he is today. Like, we have this incredible home, we have this incredible family, we have this incredible community in our church. Um, he's got a wonderful career, um, just so many, so many blessings. And it's all just kind of spiraled out of control after that moment, you know. So I do love being spiraled out of control. Exactly. Exactly. It's just it's been incredible to see it. Um, because you know, I I have my own journey and I have my own things, but like I'm seeing his from it, you know, from a different perspective. And um, so that's that's really been really, really cool.

SPEAKER_01 13:52

I like saying there's been so many blessings I forgot to count.

SPEAKER_03 13:57

That's awesome. Well, Monica, Monica, you can you have your story too. Do you want to to share a little bit about that?

SPEAKER_04 14:05

Yeah. Yeah. Um, so mine's a mine's a little different. We've um we're we're very different people, but we're very much meant for each other. Um, so my story is um I had a very cookie-cutter upbringing, you would say. Um, you know, mom, dad, brother, beautiful house. Um I was never homeless. Um, but I I went through my own traumas. I was um sexually abused by somebody that I'm very close to. Um, I was very close to then. I'm still currently very close to them now. Um, but that did that did a lot of damage to me. Um and see where I've had to do, um, I went through like a huge journey of trying to find uh kind of like a man to trust or like a fatherly figure to trust because this person I had trusted so much had betrayed that trust so greatly. Um so then I kind of went on this like this party girl phase and this like dating phase. I was a serial monogamist, you know, where I was just kind of like just in a relationship, you know, and it was they were like long-term relationships, but they were, I just kind of wasn't, I couldn't be single because I was just trying to find that love. And um, so then there was a portion where I was finally, I finally had enough. I had felt so just like gross. I felt like every single time I dated somebody, um, you know, a little piece of me was going away, you know. Um and so finally I'm like on this journey now of like rediscovering those or like getting those pieces back because now I do have a man that I really do trust with every fiber of my being. Um and so it like creates this safe space for me to be able to do that repairing um that I wasn't able to do. I was just kind of masking it. Um I've always my mom has done a really good job of always trying to keep God in my life. I had gone to church when I was a teenager, um, but then kind of you know fell away when I went into like my party girl phase. Um and then it was when the it was that moment when I had felt like I had just had enough of just trying to mask everything. I just felt so heavy and just gross that I was like, I need something more. I need, and and my my soul always kept searching too. You know, I was like, oh, maybe these essential oils can help me, or oh, maybe these, this one um necklace will help me. I wasn't quite like a crystal girl, but I would I wore crystals to to kind of like try to bring good energy. Um, but it all felt incomplete and um it didn't, it just didn't quench that thirst that I had. I had I was wanting something more. And then we started going to I started going to church with my mom again, and um and she and then we couldn't really find find a good home church. And then like Ben and I had got together, and um, we had tried a church or two together. Um, and then we had got this house, and this house is so close to Westside, and that's how we found Westside. Um, but through all of that, I had, you know, found a relationship with God again. And in that relationship with God, I have, you know, gotten closer to my husband, which is then helping me heal. You know, so it's it's all of these things that are kind of intertwined. Brain, uh, Ben says that um my my brain is like spaghetti because everything is intertwined, but it really is, and I really couldn't start the healing process um until getting that relationship with God.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

Um I I I stole that from a book though, just to be clear.

SPEAKER_03 18:46

Yeah, yeah. I read that book.

SPEAKER_01 18:48

Yeah, it's a good book.

SPEAKER_04 18:52

Um so yeah, I've absolutely changed. Change is inevitable, I think. Um it's where what direction are you going to change? And with God in your corner, it changes you in the direction that He meant for you. And I I'm like I'm I'm a sh a completely different person than I was 10 years ago, than I was five years ago, you know. Um, I'm a I'm a mom now too. Like that's a change. But I'm so much of a better mom now because of my relationship with God, also, because I want her to be rooted deeply into you know the faith and like have encounters with God and um and so it just it's changed me drastically. And I think, you know, how it just is so how it's changed our household, even.

SPEAKER_01 19:57

Um I'm gonna say also that it that not I I learned this actually because of going to Men's Alliance is that uh it's not that everything has purpose, but that uh God can make purpose out of those things. I don't know if I'm saying that correctly, but it's close enough. Um and and so pain being one of those things is that uh we both experienced uh traumatic amount of pain. Um and and it it gives us perspective and it gives us the opportunity to grow. And and I think God has used that uh to encourage not only us, but allow us to encourage others to not live in that pain, but to grow from it, and uh and you know, basically painting a new picture. Uh you know, dirt isn't the prettiest brown in the world, but it can certainly make some green grass. Oh no.

SPEAKER_04 21:07

Pretty good.

SPEAKER_03 21:08

Stop. That's really good. I like it. Well, so how how do you so if somebody was watching right now and they're they're like in a place where they're like, no, I like I've given up. There isn't a a possibility for change in this area of my my life. How would you encourage them? Um what would what next step would you encourage them to take, do you think?

SPEAKER_01 21:40

I honestly don't have a profound way of saying it. It's just don't give up. It is it is kind of uh, you know, a lot of the time if you wait long enough, you and give it a chance, you know, give give change like because change is gonna happen. Happen, right? So by just giving up, you're not even giving change a chance, and let alone God's change. You know, it's it's hugely different.

SPEAKER_04 22:14

Um yeah, change is right around the corner. Um, and people told me this all the time because I was like, because me being the serial monogamous and I'm I was single and I was like, oh, I'm just gonna be single forever. I'm never gonna find my love. Um, and and people would just be like, Monica, just you know, the the moment you stop looking is the moment that he's gonna come into your life. And my dad would tell me all the time, Monica, you're gonna find somebody that wants to be loved just as much as you want to be loved. And I mean, here he is a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

And for me, six years of not trying.

SPEAKER_04 22:53

So, but so it's I know it's cliche and it's hard to hear it to say, hey, change is right around the corner. Just don't give up because it's literally right there. Just wait a little bit longer. But it is so true because I have personally, I've seen it. It's it's happened in my life. And I look back and I'm like, wow, there were some times where I was so hopeless. I was like, I'm gonna be, you know, I'm gonna be a spinster, I'm gonna be, I'm just gonna be single forever and never have kids. And then here I am living my best life, living the life that I always dreamed I would live. Um it's not perfect by any means. Like I am still on my journey, still on that healing journey. Um, there are still pains, there are still turmoils, there are still, you know, things that I'm learning about myself. He's learning about himself, we're learning about each other. Um, but yeah, I guess yeah, not in a profound way, but just don't give up, as cliche as that sounds, um, because change is right around the corner. And what's worked for us is community. So Men's Alliance specifically has done wonders for this man. Just being able to be around other men and share feelings with these other men.

SPEAKER_01 24:15

Emulate what what it is to be a godly man, honestly.

SPEAKER_04 24:20

Yeah, and to to be hearing these devotions and and then now me being a part of women's alliance, um, it's it's giving me a community that I actually never knew that I needed. Um, I I'm like, holy smokes, I really needed to talk to some girls about God, or I needed to hear that other women are going through struggles, or uh, you know, and then also just exercising with them because you get to struggle along with them. That's kind of it feels nice.

SPEAKER_02 24:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:52

Um, yeah. So community. So a practical tool that I would say is get a community, like surround yourself with some, some like-minded individuals, people that will help elevate you, you know, um into you know, see somebody that you want to be like, and then start hanging out with those those people. Um, because absolutely it changes right around the corner.

SPEAKER_01 25:19

And that struggle isn't unique for anyone. It it's it's you know, something that we all do. And it doesn't matter where you're at or what you're struggling through, everybody has something that they have to get through. So it's not, you know, by opening up about your struggle, you might be able to find somebody to relate to and and grow with. You know, and and I'm doing that with her, and I'm doing that with my community at West Side. Um, you know, and especially with somebody who has a habit of isolating, you know. I I I even sometimes isolate from her not intentionally, it just kind of happens. I I get kind of I kind of drown myself in work and and my ambitions, and she or a video game. Sometimes sometimes it's that that used that's kind of the old that's one of the big changes that happen. Um occasionally still get there, but uh for the most part, I'd say uh her and God kind of draw me back every time.

SPEAKER_03 26:26

So that's awesome. I I I think one thing that really stands out to me about um what you guys have shared is the fact that um that we have a choice, that change happens regardless, but the direction that we want to change in is something that we get to participate in. And both of you um have that thing in common where you're you both were like, there's gotta be something different than this. And and um and that uh the change started to come about when you engaged with God, right? So so there's there's those engagement choices that we have to make where where when God's uh provides an invitation, we say yes and step into it, right? And when community provides an invitation or doesn't, and you just decide that you need to go find it, right? But there's a participation in it that I that I see in both of you actively, just in conversation on a regular basis, you know, when when we pass each other and and and chat, I can see that in you guys constantly making a choice to step into those things.

SPEAKER_04 27:39

So yeah, like lean into it. Like he told the lady that prayed for him on the side of the road, you know, like what can it hurt? You know, there's there's literally nothing bad that can happen from leaning into it, so lean into it.

SPEAKER_01 27:57

She didn't expect anything back, you know. I know it's something that seems super simple, um, and that's you know the beauty of it. Sometimes the simplest things are are uh the things that we need to grab onto instead of overcomplicating everything. Yeah, you know, paint that. And and just simply something praying. Um he's like, hey, by the way, you know, you don't need to get all extra.

SPEAKER_04 28:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

Take a deep breath. That's the truth. Talk to me. Yeah, what's up?

SPEAKER_04 28:31

And like she could have been in your spot at one point, and now she's praying for you, and now you can be that person that's you know, praying for somebody randomly on the side of the road and completely like changing their lives too. So, like those little changes.

SPEAKER_01 28:48

You saying that reminded me that she I I I normally mention this, but I I didn't know if I wanted to mention it, but I'm gonna mention it now, which is she also gave me a Bible, and I I ended up taking that Bible and carrying it with me everywhere for a long while, uh, at least a year, and then I ended up running into somebody when I had the Bible who was struggling a lot. Uh, who was struggling a lot and and you know, dealing with addiction, and I was like, you know what? Maybe that's why I was carrying this is for this moment, you know, is is okay. I'm gonna give this this same Bible that helped me, you know, help this person. You know, and and so I I passed it on, you know, and awesome. Uh I also gave him a little a little rock, which later I learned about these crosses from uh uh Cody Rizzo. Uh he he uh he gave me one because I told him about that rock that I would just I carried with me everywhere and just kind of rubbed whenever I was feeling anxiety at Warry Stone and he gave me a Warry Cross, which was cool, um, which I did carry with me for a while, but uh one of the biggest changes, uh I've been relatively anxiety free since I accepted Christ and and uh truly accepted Christ, like where I was like for real, I'm I got baptized, you know, and ever since that moment, I get I get small spells, um, but normally that's just my own worry and forgetting to give it to God. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:29

Incredible. That's that's awesome. Well, you guys, thank you so much for being willing to share your story. I think um that we can just see that whole like the whole mountain range with you guys just like saying yes to Jesus and then getting into community and then getting on mission and serving God and other people and and it's a blessing to know you guys, and it's a blessing just for to be able to hear your story and be encouraged by you. So thanks so much for being willing to share. I really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_04 30:57

Yeah, thank you for having us, and thank you for yeah, for thinking of us. And yeah, we've got we've got a lot. We're we're a bunch of talkers, we've got a lot to talk about.

SPEAKER_03 31:04

So maybe we'll have you on again. Okay, sounds good. All righty. You guys catch us next week um on Midweek Motivation.

SPEAKER_00 31:17

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Midweek Motivation. To make sure you don't miss any content in the future, please subscribe, share, and if you enjoyed this, give us a like and consider popping by a Westside service some weekend. You can find out more at Westside Community Church.com.