An Encounter with Mr. Not So Geared: Love Languages Vs Designer Labels

Have you ever been blindsided by a first date's self-absorbed behavior? That's what happened when I, your host Carmen Ramos, went out with Mr. Not So Geared. He seemed to miss the memo on the importance of first impressions and mutual respect in dating. Join me as I recount this bizarre experience and share the invaluable lessons I learned. 

Let's dive into the world of dating, where shopping trips can turn into a display of self-indulgence, leaving the other person feeling overlooked. This is the tale of my encounter with a man who was more interested in Gucci and sunglasses than getting to know who I was. I'll share how this stark contrast to past experiences opened my eyes to the importance of acknowledging love languages and staying true to your intuition. Together, we'll navigate this complex world of modern dating, learning along the way. Thank you for embarking on this journey with me.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hi everyone, welcome back. My name is Carmen Ramos and you're listening to my Cheek and Tuition. This is our new season, season 3, and I have a lot to recap. In this time off of dating, I took time for myself to evaluate my relationships with the people I had relationships with and either stay or leave, and a big part of me progressing and finding Mr Right is leaving Mr Big. I had a deep conversation with him. He came and visited me from Los Angeles and was, like you know, we have time to talk about things and really get to the point of where we're going, and we both came to the realization that we weren't going anywhere. So I had to let him go. And it helps me better in when I'm getting to know someone that I don't have him in the back of my head, thinking, oh, he could be the one and I'm just here, like you know, wasting time with you guys, when in reality I was just wasting my time thinking he was the one. You know when other guys are giving me their time and you know their energy and I'm not reciprocating that back. So now I have that openness and I'm ready. So, now that I've been ready, I've been dating and this story is going to show you guys just as much as is shocked me. We're going to call this man Mr Not so geared. Okay, you know where this is going.

Speaker 1: 1:36

So this man decides to write me on one of the apps and was like hey, I would love to get to know you. Let's go out to eat. And I'm like, okay, let's do it. He's like all right, let's do like a lunch and would you like to go to the Americana? I'm like, okay, I'm down. So he invited me to go there and he asked me what my love language was and I told him on, my love language is gift receiving and shared experiences. And he was like oh, okay, that's nice, because I love you know he loves doing acts of service. So I was like, oh, that's even like amazing, because I guess both our love languages like coincide, right. So he makes reservations and we're eating at this restaurant, right. But before that he texts me and goes a little shopping is in order. So in my head I'm thinking, oh, okay, we're going to go eat. And then I guess we're going to go shop a little, right. So he offers to pick me up and I say no, because usually like I just don't want to get in a man's car and when I'm meeting him I feel safer in an Uber because I feel like that's a company and you can trace someone. God forbid, something happened. So my first fret flag was when he's in an offer the Uber. But I offered to meet him there because it wasn't far from my house as well, but still it just didn't sit well with me, right? So then I get there and he's a minute late. And another red flag for me was when I was meeting him there. He texted me and he's like hey, I'm so sorry, I'm a catfish.

Speaker 1: 3:24

This then the third, and I was like what? Like it freaked me out. So it gave me a little bit of anxiety because I'm one that I'm very like guarded and I just don't know who I'm meeting. You know, like someone could present themselves online like this person and they're not. So it was just very weird, right, like now I'm just uncomfortable.

Speaker 1: 3:49

I sit myself down, right, and he walks in like maybe like five minutes late, and he's just like I'm so sorry, I'm late, whatever. So now we're enjoying our lunch, right, we're ordering everything we want and he seems to be like great at conversations and like I'm having a good time. So we end lunch and he was a gentleman and paid for lunch, and then he goes, okay, so do you want to walk around here now? And I'm thinking like, okay, why not, you know? So then we're walking around, he goes, let's go to the sunglass store. I'm like, okay, cool. So we go to the sunglass store and he picks out like maybe like eight or nine frames. Asked me how they look on him, and I gave him my honest opinion, because I'm very like you know, I'm very into fashion and I know what looks good on someone, I guess. And yeah, he picks eight and his total came out to maybe like three or $4,000.

Speaker 1: 4:56

And not once did he ask me did I want anything? Not that I was like looking for it, but if you know, that's my love language, like receiving gifts and I'm helping you out and you tell me and tax me, shopping is in order. I'm thinking you're going to get me something, right? So then after that he goes do you want to go to Gucci? And I'm like, all right, whatever. So we go to Gucci and he's like asking me a whole bunch of like opinions, like, oh, what do you think about this, what do you think about that.

Speaker 1: 5:32

So I felt like very weird because it was polar opposites from what I'm used to. Like I can't. I hate comparing him to my ex. Like my ex on our first date like actually took me shopping and had people help me and was like hey, whatever you want pick out is yours. So it was like totally like opposites. So I'm there thinking in my head this is wow, this is such a big difference and this person is so self-centered to make me the person he's interested in, have interest in what he looks like and what looks good on him, and not once asked me if I even wanted to like perfume something. You know what I mean. And I was just in total like disbelief. I was like I cannot believe this. So he texted me well, actually, let's go back to it.

Speaker 1: 6:33

So after Gucci he spent like maybe like $10,000 there, right, and after Gucci he was like hey, you want me to drive your dear car? I'm like, no, no, I'm okay, thank you. So in my head I'm just thinking like Ew, what the fuck was that? So I literally was like no, I got to go whatever. So I get into my car and I call one of my girls and I'm literally like sitting there crying to her and I'm like I don't know how to take this. And she's like no, it's okay, it's like a him problem. Like who does that? Like what? Like that's so rude and so disrespectful. Like the lunch could have been just fine, which I totally agree, like you don't have to be like oh, we have shopping is an order, you know. And make me think all this and and you taking me to see how much money you're spending, like I don't care. I was in total disbelief, I felt disrespected and she's like no, it's fine. Like that was a douche thing for him to do.

Speaker 1: 7:45

And then he texted me when he got home and let me read you what he wrote Okay, so he goes. Hope you got home safe. It was really nice meeting you. Thanks for a lovely day. I enjoyed your company. I'm probably going to be home tonight after he puts his kids to sleep, if you want to hang. So then I wrote hey, enjoyed lunch. Thanks very much.

Speaker 1: 8:17

Did I understand why I was tagging along on your shopping spree? I felt very unnecessary for a first date, especially knowing my love language. It made me feel rejected and not acknowledged in any way. But thanks again for lunch, then he goes. Oh no, I'm really sorry, that's the last thing I wanted to make you feel. Do you think it would have been appropriate me asking you whether you wanted something on a first date? What I did do, though, was observe you like so I could do something nice for you, had our vibe and chemistry continue to grow.

Speaker 1: 8:48

Okay, first of all, I think that's insane. You think it was appropriate to take me shopping to see what you're shopping for on our first date Like that's where the like, where it was inappropriate in the first place, and then to announce before lunch, shopping is an order. You could have just went, literally, to lunch with me and said, hey, I had a great time and called it, and not make this whole announcement, spent a whole bunch of money, make you look like a clown. I didn't get that, but I'm happy. I stood my ground and never spoke to him again. He actually reached out and apologized again and was like honestly, let me make up for it whatever, but for me, first impressions are everything, and if you're not going to nail it the first time, you won't nail it the second. So I'm happy I'm moving along and literally like just when there's a red flag I run, so he was definitely not geared up like Mr Richard Gear and Pretty Woman, because that's what I'm looking for.

Speaker 1: 9:57

I just want to thank everybody for always listening and tuning in. I know this episode was really a shocker, and it was a shock to me just as much as it was a shock to you, and I always want to thank everyone for listening and tuning in and always giving me your feedback. I always am so receptive to it and enjoy when people are coming along this journey with me, because it means a lot to me. So I just want to thank you. My name is Carmen Ramos and you're listening to my Chic Intuition Kick off. I'm gonna be a little better. I'm gonna be a little better. I'm gonna be a little better. I'm gonna be a little better. I'm gonna be a little better. I'm gonna be a little better. I'm gonna be a little better. I'm gonna be a little better. I'm gonna be a little better. I'm gonna be a little better.