Choosing A Father, Not A Fantasy

Transcript

Setting The Scene: Ready For Motherhood

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hi my intuitives, welcome back to my chic intuition, the podcast where the lighting is soft, the mindset is disciplined, the water intake is high, and the standards are even higher. And today's episode, this is not a casual episode, this is the episode because we are talking about the time in my life where I was not just dating, I was preparing to become a mother. And we're calling him Mr. Big because we are healed, private, and also he doesn't get free promotion. And this is a story of how I almost built a whole life with someone who was only consistent in theory. Let me take you into that version of me. This was my I wake up early, I journal, I'm drinking my water, I'm taking my vitamins, I have my life together. I was romanticizing grocery shopping, Sunday resets, soft music in the kitchen. I had glass containers, glass. That's when you know a woman is serious about her future. I wasn't playing house, I was preparing for life. I had prenatals on my nightstand for a man who emotionally needed a nap every three days. Mr. Big did not come in chaotic. Let's be clear. He came in calm, intentional, future talking. You would be such an amazing mom. Our child would be beautiful. I want that kind of life. And if you're in a woman in your 30s who has done the healing, who has a vision, who has the heart, those words don't sound like manipulation. They sound like alignment. So now in my notes, I uh was putting down baby names. And in my Pinterest, I had neutral nurseries, and in my head, there were stroller walks and matching pajamas. Meanwhile, in real life, he's still figuring out what day of the week it is. Now let's talk about this part because this is sacred. This was not a fantasy for me. This was learning my cycle, tracking my body, understanding ovulation, timing my life. I was stepping into a biological and emotional readiness that women do not talk about enough. That moment where you realize I'm ready to nurture life, that changes you. You move differently, you think differently, you date differently. And I allowed someone into that space who had not proven he was stable enough to hold it. That is a lesson. Why did I have a baby budget spreadsheet, saved cribs, research strollers for a man who cannot confirm dinner plans before 8 p.m.? I was drinking raspberry leaf tea like I was preparing for a royal pregnancy. And he is replying, hey, sorry, I fell asleep. Sir, you're not tired. You're inconsistent, and inconsistency is not a co-parenting style. The red flags is never something dramatic, it's confusion. You start saying he's just busy, busy doing what? Because men who are ready for fatherhood are not emotionally part-time, they are not disappearing during your ovulation window. Biology does not pause for mixed signals, and my body started feeling it because your body knows before your mind accepts it. I stopped feeling soft, I started feeling anxious, checking my phone, overthinking tone. That is not the energy that creates life. And there was a moment where I sat with myself and said, My child deserves peace, my pregnancy deserves calm, my motherhood deserves partnership, I'm not choosing a man, I'm choosing a father for my future child, and potential is not parenting a plan. So, to that version of me who believed him, you were not naive, you were ready, you were open, you were loving, you were stepping into your next evolution, and now we add discernment to the desire. Now we don't plan life based on words, we plan life based on patterns. So if you are your intentional motherhood era, protect your peace more than your timeline. Do not audition men for the role of the father. They either show up with the emotional stability, consistency, and clarity, or they do not get access to your future. Your fertility journey is not a group project. Mr. Big was not my ending. He was my clarity. Because now I know the next time I prepare my body, my heart, and my life for a child, it will be with someone who is already prepared for us, not someone who likes the idea of us. This is my chic intuition, where we evolve, we tell the truth, we look good while healing, and we do not ovulate for inconsistency. I love you, my intuitives.