What the Podcast?
The show about anything and everything. By the end of an hour, we'll have you saying "WHAT THE P******?"
What the Podcast?
Ep. 295 - What the Walmart?!
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Well, let's get into it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, just talk loud. Well, well, well.
SPEAKER_05Hey, when you guys talk, like pop your heads in.
SPEAKER_00Well, well, well.
SPEAKER_05Hi, everybody. Welcome back to What the Podcast. I'm Ryan. I'm John. Together we are the first episode ever from Goldy. Goldie.
unknownWoo!
SPEAKER_05In the back seat, as always, my lovely wife, Kara Tefoya.
SPEAKER_01Well, normally I'm in the front seat.
SPEAKER_05Well, Katie's in the back seat. I'm on. Gotta make my mind out. Which seat can I take? Exactly. Joining us again this week, the lovely Anus Coast Government. Give it up for her.
SPEAKER_00This is my designated seat, and Goldie, thank you.
SPEAKER_05That is where you do be sitting. I do be sitting here.
SPEAKER_00And if people change my settings on my chair, I notice.
SPEAKER_05And you know what? And they don't. Just because they know. I do be noticing. She does be noticed.
SPEAKER_00John originally sat in the seat. I said, that's my chair. Janet, that's my chair.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, you gotta move. Honestly, I didn't think about it much. I should have pushed back harder, but she she told me to move. She said, okay, we're fine.
SPEAKER_00And that's the power of persuasion.
SPEAKER_05That's the power of persuasion. Guys, we are in the car, going very far because it is lip sync 2026. If you're seeing this after the fact, uh, yeah, that Slurpee one, that Slurpee run, it was to go get uh to go do the podcast, you know? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Sorry. Slurpee run. Well, yeah, at some point, look. We've been at the Albert since 10 a.m.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05So you gotta get you gotta get out. At some point, you do have to peel off and go get a Slurpee and record the podcast in the car. Um, but this is kind of fun, a little, you know, it just wasn't gonna happen for us. The full cams, the full mics, the full beat. Nah. Um we tried. We tried. But everyone. It's kind of a return to form for you, John, because we were just talking about this. How the carpool karaoke segments were just very a part of the early years of Lib Zing battle. They were just the easiest thing to do at the time. It was like, you know, back then it was pre-U like take helping heavily.
SPEAKER_03And so it was like I knew I could stick a camera up there, record for 10 minutes, and then and then chop it down and post it.
SPEAKER_05By the way, I don't actually know where I'm going.
SPEAKER_03Uh right. Okay.
SPEAKER_05It's it's kind of it was more of a a um a function rather than a form at this point. You know, it was more like just it's it was easier. But God, I love it. And you know, it was like big at the time. Was it Jimmy Fallon that was doing those or uh it was James Corden. James Corden. And he sold the rights to it, which is cool.
SPEAKER_00He sold the rights to carpal karaoke.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, it's like a show now on Apple TV. Okay. He doesn't do all of them. He he like they they have other people like driving and they just do like a Isn't he back in London?
SPEAKER_00We exiled him, right?
SPEAKER_05We didn't exile him. So thank god. Well, I guess maybe we'd exiled him. We extradited him. Social pressure, maybe. I don't know if you're we traded him for three POWs.
SPEAKER_02Videos of them doing carpal karaoke are crazy. I know he's not actually driving, he's being towed. Is that true?
SPEAKER_05I saw some of them. Some I guess some of them he's being towed, some of them he's not. They couldn't let him. I bet you the early ones they just shot in a car like this. Oh, yeah. I think he drove, and so I think it just depends. They they've been as the bids got more elaborate, I think they were worried about it.
SPEAKER_00Do you think he's a good driver?
SPEAKER_05James Colden.
SPEAKER_00Uh uh.
SPEAKER_05Well, for one, he's driving on the wrong side of the road.
SPEAKER_00On the wrong side of the road. And I don't trust it.
SPEAKER_05I don't trust the English.
SPEAKER_00Trust it. You're gonna go left up here.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00You know, it was just our 250th. I do not trust English.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00That's why we left them.
SPEAKER_03Right. I was waiting for this to come out from you, Anna. I I was waiting for your character to bring out the 250 thing.
SPEAKER_05It took a long time.
SPEAKER_00My character?
SPEAKER_05Well, you know, like your podcast uh personality.
SPEAKER_00My podcast personality. My Americana, if you will. Um, I don't know. I was re-watching last week's podcast. This is so, you know, inside of podcasts. But um, I there was a couple moments where you could tell I was holding back on my president knowledge. We were like talking about presents, and I'm like, it would cut.
SPEAKER_05You could see me go to say like she's grimacing, she's like, she's like, that's not true. That's not true.
SPEAKER_00I don't know you, but that's not birth!
SPEAKER_05Um, Annie, this is your moment to shine. Say whatever you want about the presidents. Or is yours?
SPEAKER_00I just think 250, we should be really proud. We didn't celebrate it enough. I think that, you know.
SPEAKER_05There was a freaking there was a boxing, or it was a it was a what is that, uh MMA? MMA big. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. South lawn. That didn't pan out, I don't think.
SPEAKER_00That wasn't good. Um, I don't get, you know, there's a lot of sports that I don't necessarily get, but unboxings one I really don't really get. Yeah, I was we were talking on the podcast recently about going to the public hangings.
SPEAKER_05Right, that was last week, huh?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, some for whatever reason, the beating up I don't get. But I would be back in the day, I'm sure I'd be at the public hanging.
SPEAKER_05Right. That's so wild. We should have, when we get back to the studio, we should have a board on the wall that's like, it's been zero weeks since Annie said that she's she would go to the public hanging. Yeah. And every week it's just zero again.
SPEAKER_00You know, we have that for me leaving the fridge open at my house.
SPEAKER_05Oh, dang. Yeah. You'd be leaving the fridge open at my house.
SPEAKER_00It's one of the ones where you really have to slam it closed. Because if you just push it, it like it like buckles against the other one so it looks closed, but it's ajar very slightly. And then it will beep. It like has this like kind of sing-songgy beep.
SPEAKER_05You know what's funny is Annie was like her roommate's out of town, and she's like, I'm really like glad, like, oh, my roommate's out of town, like I can finally like hang out in the kitchen. And it's like it's just so that people, you know, she's the only one telling her to shut the fridge. Now she's like, I can just go in the kitchen, nobody's telling me to shut the fridge. I can leave the fridge open, everything melts.
SPEAKER_04Perfect.
unknownWow.
SPEAKER_00Oh, there you go. I'm gonna leave the fridge open. I'm gonna leave the fridge open. We're not breaking out in song enough.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Yeah, go ahead, John. Um I do break out in songs.
SPEAKER_00You do break in songs.
SPEAKER_05You pointed that out to me to it. You turn right here. Um you pointed that out to me like a couple months ago, and now every time I I regularly I go. Oh, so I do do that. I pointed it out with love, I hope you know.
SPEAKER_00Isn't that so horrible when you feel like so seen like that? And you're like, oh, I've been being observed. That's right. Not even seen so much.
SPEAKER_05Any episode on this podcast, by the way. Sorry, guys. You're just so easily observed.
SPEAKER_01My favorite part was when we were in the jacuzzi the other day, and Annie brought up like, oh, my fingers are so wrinkly. Just from being in the pool and stuff all day. And I literally was like, that's that's why I keep my hands out in the water, and everyone went, that's why you do that. I just had Karen like talking with her hands, and like this. I never realized people noticed that I did that. But when I'm in a jacuzzi or a pool, just sitting somewhere for a long time, I keep my hands out of water because I don't have the feeling.
SPEAKER_05You'd be keeping your hands out. I know. I didn't what's funny is they both said that. They're like, oh yeah, you do do that. I didn't notice at all. I was like, what are you talking about?
SPEAKER_00I keep them like this. Keep your hands out. Like it's right. She likes she just like and it's not even necessarily like she talks with them. They're just kind of floating above the water. And I just thought I just I don't know. I just thought she liked it. And I guess she knows she just likes it.
SPEAKER_05To be known is to be loved, right?
SPEAKER_00I mean, I, my subordinate at work, uh is having her last day.
SPEAKER_04You gotta stop calling it. You gotta stop calling your own. Don't worry, it was her last day.
SPEAKER_00It's her last day. Don't worry, she quit. Um, and she left me, she wrote me a handbook for the next person, a guide to sharing an office with Annie Scopeman.
SPEAKER_03Oh, probably hurtful, huh?
SPEAKER_00Oh, no, it was his own. Probably hurtful. There were certain things that I didn't realize she really clocked.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And it was like, okay, if she says this, she's probably meaning this. And if she's one was like, okay, sometimes she'll talk. It's not always to you.
SPEAKER_03Oh, right, of course. She's gonna throw a lot of hypotheticals at you, like you can either die or I hit him with I hit him with this one.
SPEAKER_05You have to be ready for the hypothetical.
SPEAKER_00John, get ready for this. You have seven fingers, which seven are you keeping?
SPEAKER_05Uh between your two. My right pinky, and then probably my left pinky and ring finger. Well, actually the ring finger is important, I guess.
SPEAKER_00Uh yeah, yeah. Okay. As a single person, not important to me, anyway.
SPEAKER_05The ring finger. Maybe I'd get rid of my pointer and my pinky on my left hand. Because then it would be like this.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Oh.
SPEAKER_05Then I have still have grab here, and then this is obviously basically normal. You know, each other.
SPEAKER_00Like this? Yeah.
SPEAKER_05I decided on I decided on four fingers on this, my left hand. Your whole for guitar reasoning. And then three fingers on my right hand. Your whole left hand.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, one hand is a thumb.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, and then I'm gonna get rid of it. I don't want to. I'm gonna get rid of all three fingers on one hand. Yeah. Crazy. Actually, I'm gonna keep old writing. Where are we going? Uh this is a this is a new podcast idea. It's called Finding Parking in this Godforsaken Walmart parking lot. Um, yeah, so this is definitely yeah, inside of lip sync for sure, but we are at Walmart. At Walmart.
SPEAKER_00Walmart. We've talked about an on the go podcast for mini moons, and this is our first fruition.
SPEAKER_05Kara, how you how you feeling over there?
SPEAKER_01It's hot out here. It's hot as hell. It's like pop flank.
SPEAKER_05So basically, let me just give you a rundown of what's going on. We talk about it every year. Lifting battle. Okay, it's the biggest show of the year. And John's parents' backyard. Okay. And we've been there since 10 a.m. At the moment. We've been there since 10 a.m. And we're basically now we're peeling off. We'll do some errands, we gotta pick up some power strips, we gotta pick up maybe some stacks. And uh, yeah, so that's just like what it's all about. We're running cables, we're setting up big projector screens. The show doesn't go down until oh, what do you think? Down like 8 30. Yeah, 8 30. It's gotta be dark for the projector. It's gonna be dark.
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna run into that.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, that's I I gotta like it though here.
SPEAKER_03That'd be so funny if you have all the heads in the camera.
SPEAKER_00I cracked my head open in the Walmart.
SPEAKER_05That'd be so funny. Really pushing the limits of what a podcast is, you know.
SPEAKER_00How many people do you think die to Walmart every year?
SPEAKER_03Oh, um, by the way.
SPEAKER_05I think it's like Disneyland where they don't like they rushed you off the property.
SPEAKER_01I said no, you didn't die in Walmart. You died in the parking lot. Not inside the Walmart. We don't own the parking lot, it's city.
SPEAKER_05So we're beelining towards uh lining towards random.
SPEAKER_00Power strips. Oh well.
SPEAKER_05This is like P.O.D. You're at Walmart. That's really what this is.
SPEAKER_00It's like when you go to like the di like the to like different restaurants and they just have on the screen you walking through those places. Yeah, because it was a guy. We had a Thai food restaurant too. That's right. It is the same guy, but two different places. Hi.
SPEAKER_05Um, hi. You are really gunning for the win this year for lipstick bottle. Is that correct? Okay. Oh, you've never won. And this is the last one. If you could still I still think I'm cursed though. You think you're cursed? You think you have a shot tonight? What do you think?
SPEAKER_00I don't think you have so.
SPEAKER_01What the exciting dentistry work is.
SPEAKER_06What the heck?
SPEAKER_03I don't know where we're running, I'll be honest.
SPEAKER_05I just assumed it was over here. What are we looking for?
SPEAKER_03Extension cords, power cords.
SPEAKER_05Extension cords, power strips.
SPEAKER_03You gotta be close, right?
SPEAKER_05This is your first uh mobile podcast, man. This is awesome. I'm really focused on it. How are you feeling about the weekend?
SPEAKER_03Oh, it's okay, sorry.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Extension cords.
SPEAKER_05Background. Every year for John's birthday, for the past ten years, he's thrown this lip sync panel. Um, and this is supposedly the last one.
SPEAKER_00Supposedly.
SPEAKER_05No, I definitely think it is. And I think it definitely is because we keep talking about how it's the last one. And it's actually like a big part of a lot of our lip sync performances tonight.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god. Yeah, we are oxygen boosts. I love this stuff.
SPEAKER_05What the heck? Oxygen boost.
SPEAKER_00I get this sometimes when I have migraines and John John clowns on me. It's just like pure oxygen. Yeah, it's oxygen. It's like extra, it's like an extra pump. They give it to you, catch a breath. Especially like two if you're um like in high altitudes. Yeah. That's why it's so light.
SPEAKER_05I feel like that has to be like an over-the-counter thing. Okay, stop doing that. Stop doing that.
SPEAKER_00Stop doing, stop doing that. Wait, Brian, we need pepper spray. Sure, we figure out your ones. Tupac. Mine expired. I've never had it. The one that I just risked. I figure if it's my time, it's my time.
SPEAKER_05Alright. She'd be saying stuff like that all the time. Yeah. Um, so let's go find John. He's around here somewhere. We fully lost him. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00Take it by a boy. Guys, the FIFA World Cup is happening. And it's down to Spain, the Argentina. Isn't it today?
SPEAKER_05That's a big matchup, and I think it's tonight. I think the final's tonight.
SPEAKER_00It's gonna be a big deal. And who do you guys want to win? Oh, I'm Espana. Espana.
SPEAKER_05I'm for sure about Spain because I heard Viva Espana. I heard, I don't know if this is true, and I'm gonna lower my voice when I say this. Argentina might be cheating.
unknownCheating.
SPEAKER_00There's already been like embezzlement.
SPEAKER_05There's been a conspiracy that like they're paying off the refs, and so they're like making calls that they wouldn't normally.
SPEAKER_00Is it because it's messy's last year?
SPEAKER_05It's getting a little messy for sure.
SPEAKER_00It is indeed.
SPEAKER_05There you go.
SPEAKER_00Oh, there he is.
SPEAKER_05Oh. Walk right past him. Deal the deal. We did, huh? Well, you know, what can you do?
SPEAKER_03What can you do?
SPEAKER_05POV UR John at Walmart. This is the podcast sweet. This is really the podcast we've seen.
SPEAKER_03We've really seen it.
SPEAKER_05I mean, it's it's we're jumping the chart for sure, but not everyone can be a winner. But there is one every week at the point.
SPEAKER_03At one point, right?
SPEAKER_05We had a serious conversation about this last night with the one Bethany Swanka. And she was like, yeah, just don't do it this week.
SPEAKER_03Just like whatever.
SPEAKER_05I'm like, oh, okay, yeah. 295 episodes and then just stop. Okay, for sure. I don't know if this qualifies, but you know, you never know.
SPEAKER_03I would qualify for qualified. I know that's a problem because we've built the attention. We've been over so long, executively. Yeah. How do you like when do you break?
SPEAKER_05At some point we're just kinda stop. I guess that'd be ridiculous. That's kind of your thing. It's like it has to just be a certain amount of episodes or years, if you will. And then it just ends forever.
SPEAKER_03No, not the podcast. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Definitely with lip sync, for sure.
SPEAKER_03Do you think that?
SPEAKER_05Oh, with lip sync battle. Should we do that? How many, what's the equivalent of 10 lip syncs? How many podcast episodes is that? Um anyways, we're just goofing gap and around episode. How many so like in terms of effort? In terms of effort, how many episodes of the podcast equals one lip sync battle?
SPEAKER_03Um I mean it's a lot because I feel like the podcast is so dialed now. Like I really do. We have it down to a time, so would you agree?
SPEAKER_05I would say so. I mean, just look at the science right now.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_05I don't think I got enough to try it.
SPEAKER_01Walmart doesn't take.
SPEAKER_05What's that? Four or two?
SPEAKER_00Walmart doesn't take.
SPEAKER_05Two, three. Wait.
SPEAKER_03Oh, that's cool. I gotta scan that one.
SPEAKER_00You two.
SPEAKER_03Come on, you guys come on. This is interesting.
SPEAKER_00I'm like feeling a strong smoothie. I got V.
SPEAKER_03What if we got two of these? I thought I grabbed two of these.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_05POB. John at Womberg.
SPEAKER_03Ugh.
SPEAKER_00And we're gonna go get smoothies?
SPEAKER_05Okay. Okay.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Is that where we're going? Are we going back to the house on smoothies or?
SPEAKER_05It is three o'clock. Do you want to go get smoothies and then go back to the house?
SPEAKER_00Oh, we've finished this podcast.
SPEAKER_05Well, yes, of course. We've got about we're back.
SPEAKER_00John's saying he doesn't want to get smoothies because it's three o'clock and he feels like we need to get back.
SPEAKER_03We have virtually three hours before the masters start really showing up.
SPEAKER_05Like, like I know it says seven, but like a lot of those jokers are gonna say like six. Do we have time for an iced coffee? Yeah, of course. Anything that's drive-throughable, I would say. Oh, really? You guys are peeling off. I have to go.
SPEAKER_00Well, I have to peel off to finish my surprise anyway.
SPEAKER_05Oh, you guys go do your perfect.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_05Okay.
SPEAKER_01You're already bailing on Smoothie.
SPEAKER_05You're either peeling, we're going back to the house. I'm bailing on Smoothie, personally. Ryan with the city. That's what I'm saying. Don't punish Ryan. Punish me if you're gonna punish it. I'm saying I want to make everybody happy, and that's my decision.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna punish Ryan with a Starbucks iced coffee.
SPEAKER_05Whoa. I'll take what I can get, I guess. It's lip sync week. It's up your year.
SPEAKER_04Take what you can get.
SPEAKER_05Let's zoom out a little bit. Go ahead. Okay, let's talk about just life after this week. What's the rest of the summer look like for us? What are we having to look forward to? We are in just about the heat of the summer. Um Jackie's birthday's coming up. Pretty excited for that. Little cutie. I don't know what's on your what's on your radar. What's on your agenda? Jack's my wife's birthday is Monday. So there's just a lot of birthdays, honestly. It is birthday time, huh?
SPEAKER_01Birthday time.
SPEAKER_03Um, and then I'd like to go to the beach a couple times.
SPEAKER_05Haven't been yet, unfortunately. Yeah, gosh, I'd love to I'd love to be in on that beach action with you. Beach day, beach day, it'll be fun. And then yeah, and then I'm guessing I'm ready for fall, I suppose. Oh, already? It's just that simple, really. I mean, like, that's how it comes together. You guys are big summer people though.
SPEAKER_03I I'm a I'm a medium summer person. I like summer. Fall is like fall here, though. But you love fall and winter.
SPEAKER_00Fall is summer pump. Yes, exactly.
SPEAKER_05Well, yeah, of course it is. Uh it's always been that version of fall for me. And I wouldn't even know when it falls here, our baby comes. So think about that. That sounds exciting.
SPEAKER_03Baby, baby.
SPEAKER_05Annie?
SPEAKER_00That was a guttural.
SPEAKER_05That was instinctual right there. Okay.
SPEAKER_00Boo boo.
SPEAKER_05Okay, thank you. Boo-boo.
SPEAKER_00Jack's getting big. Now he looks like a child now.
SPEAKER_05I know, he's no longer a baby, he's a child.
SPEAKER_00I'm gonna need you guys every time one of them grows up, I'm gonna need you to turn out another one, okay? Okay.
SPEAKER_03Your what hurts?
SPEAKER_00My what hurts?
SPEAKER_02Turn out another one.
SPEAKER_05That's good. If I don't want to respond to something or I don't hear something. That's a good. I'm gonna do that. I stole it from a guy who has work. He's really funny about doing it. He's really funny about doing it. I'm just gonna say something that you guys all know, and I'm just gonna say it just because I have to say it. The people that I'm driving near and around, the people that are directly behind me, the people that are to my sides and in front of me, are driving crazy. Everyone in ST right now is driving like crazy people. I've almost been re-randed a few times just during this podcast. Yeah. Um, and I don't appreciate that. I don't appreciate it either. I just I can't stand it. It's okay. It'll be okay. You will survive. What's on our to-do list for the rest of the afternoon?
SPEAKER_03Honestly, it's just like, oh, we gotta go by the interaction.
SPEAKER_05So you gotta go here and then we'll go left. Instead of going right down to the back of the mouse, go left. Gotta go by this intersection. Yeah. Okay, so we're gonna put it in. Oh, is coffee covered? No, not this one. This one only opens till 10 a.m. Really? I know. They've apparently done some sort of like the owner's like, oh, it's the only profitable times or whatever.
SPEAKER_01That's the excuse of I want to be done early.
SPEAKER_05That's what a little house coffee does. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_01Because in the heat of the day like this, your coffee shop should be open. For sure.
SPEAKER_05I agree. I'm with you.
SPEAKER_03I mean, it's hard because it's like right next to my work, so it's uh I we always like like once a quarter, we're like, oh, let's go to coffee. They're like, oh wait, I can't because the freaking place is closed. I don't really get it.
SPEAKER_05I think I think you should be open. I think he should be open instead of being closed. I kinda get the sense that they're big amount of moneymakers in the town center. Yeah. And his son runs that one, so I think maybe some of it is that. Like, and he's like, I don't really need to be open. Which I can respect, I suppose. But personally, I would love to have a little coffee midday. You know, I'm a midday coffee person. You are a midday coffee person. I do not have a little sipper a little sip up here, right? Not this one.
SPEAKER_03Up here on the left.
SPEAKER_05Come on. That sounds pretty good right now. Midday zipper. Okay, let's wrap this up. We've talked long enough. We've been through the Walmart. Yes. Yes. What the podcast, episode 295. A real. It's crazy. I'll tell you. We're we're pushing the boundaries of what a podcast could be.
SPEAKER_03And what we think.
SPEAKER_05Right. Um, guys, this is brought to you by Patreon. Okay. Head on down to the link in the bio. We got a post show. Post show. We gotta do the post show, of course.
SPEAKER_03Yes. How could I forget?
SPEAKER_05Of course. For just $4 a month. Maybe the post should support this show.
SPEAKER_03And our computer is working on it.
SPEAKER_05Maybe it's just whatever lip sync stuff. We'll just pull something together and that'll be the post show. Yeah. Some some BTS. That's her word. I'm going for this tone. Annie, you got anything you want to sign off with?
SPEAKER_00I'ma leave the fridge open.
SPEAKER_05I'ma leave the fridge open. She can't wait to get home.
SPEAKER_02It sounds wrong every time you say it.
SPEAKER_05It sounds right, actually. It sounds more right than the actual lyrics. It actually does sound right. I'ma leave the fridge open. There's the guy who has relative fitch. I'm gonna back you every time. Okay, thank you, Sean. Appreciate that.
SPEAKER_04Where are you going, man?
SPEAKER_05I'm going to the place to pick up some more stuff. Oh, we're more stuff. Guys, listeners, viewers, we love you. Shout out to Phil. My boy PJ Jr. Love y'all. In the car, as always, Kara Tefoya, Annie the Scopes Government. I'm Ryan. And I'm John. And we'll see you next week on What the Podcast! Yeah. Hey. We were in the Walmart. First podcast in the Walmart.
SPEAKER_02Maybe the last. Maybe the last two.
SPEAKER_05Maybe the last two.