91: Lorie Tesny - Sailing Through Life

As a two-time melanoma cancer survivor, Lorie knows the challenges of navigating the choppy waters of life all too well.

After her experience with cancer and recovery, Lorie set sail on a new voyage and became a certified mindfulness and meditation teacher, helping her clients build resilience through their own storms.

Speaking with us from her sailboat on the coast of Florida, Lorie is also host of the podcast “Sailing Through Life,” which is anchored in the stories of inspiring people who found hope on the other side of adversity.

Podcast: sailingthroughlifepodcast.com

Transcript

Cindy Thompson - A Resilience Project Podcast

Building Resilience Among Humans One Conversation At A Time

EP91: Lorie Tesny – Sailing Through Life

Cindy Thompson: Hello, friends. I am Cindy Thompson, and this is ‘A Resilience Project.’ This is a space where stories are shared and possibilities are discovered. I invite you to partner with me in cultivating resilience among humans, one conversation at a time.

Cindy Thompson: For those who have had the opportunity to experience sailing, it often involves a physical commitment, unpredictability, adaptability, and of course, if the wind is in your favour, times of smooth sailing. In fact, depending on the wind, you can be slow getting to your destination, and you may have to tack in a different direction to fill your sails. Sailing has often been used as an analogy for life. Despite our desire to prepare and anticipate adversities, we only need to trust ourselves and our ability to respond well to circumstances.   

 How are you at adapting and moving with unexpected events in your life? Do you ride the waves easily or find yourself fighting and resisting challenges?

 You may have heard the term getting your "sea legs" under you. There is a reason why it is vital to develop our sea legs. If we adjust and move with the waves, we experience less resistance and create the feeling of being one with the boat. With 6 years of sailing under my belt, this flat lander is still practicing at this. When on big seas and at the helm, I naturally want to brace myself and hold my body steady, feet wide, trying to center myself. This is more difficult and exhausting.  

 My guest this week has been riding the waves and adapting to circumstances in more ways than one. Speaking with us from her sailboat on the coast of Florida, Lorie is a certified mindfulness and meditation teacher and podcast host of Sailing Through Life. As a Two-time cancer survivor, Lorie has discovered that sometimes the small things become the big things.   Finding one small mole led to a series of decisions that changed her life.  

 Join us for a timely message from Lorie as she reminds us that small things can become big things. With summer approaching, this conversation could save a life. I am interviewing Lorie from her sailboat, so you will notice moments where the sound might have a few glitches.

 Here is my conversation with Lorie…

Cindy Thompson: Lorie, thank you so much for being here on "A Resilience Project" with me today.

Lorie Tesny: Thank you, Cindy, for having me, and I've been really looking forward to being on your show and sharing with your audience how it's possible to get through life and live it memorably, even when things don't look so good.

Cindy Thompson: Hmm. What a great mission for this conversation. I discovered you just by my listening to podcasts, and I feel like we have a lot in common. Not only do we have that resilience theme that is woven through your conversations with your guests and your episodes, but also a sailing theme. This is a first today- I've never interviewed somebody on a sailboat before. I think that makes it extra special.

Lorie Tesny: Thank you. Yes, it is. It's quite an adventure.

Cindy Thompson: That's probably a good word for it. I'm really honored to have you here and I think of it as twofold. As we walk through your story and your experiences in life, I'm also hoping that it might be a prevention and early intervention message for our listeners. Can we start with the fact that you are a two-time cancer survivor, and walk us through when you first discovered your cancer and what that looked like?

Lorie Tesny: That two times happened within less than 18 months. I had to learn a lot on the fly. The original diagnosis happened in August of 2017. I had a great summer on the water, 4th of July weekend, was gathered with the family doing our normal boating thing and my mom noticed there was a spot on my leg and I told her I had bumped it on the boat. There's all sorts of ways to get little, we call 'em boat kisses, when you turn around too fast and walk into things. There's a lot of things that can happen and I had bumped my leg and there was a mole there, but it was having a hard time healing.

 Being the retired nurse, she said, you need to go get that checked out. I made the appointment and it took till the end of August almost to get in to see the doctor. I knew when I walked into that office, my intuition kicked in and said, this is bad. They did a biopsy and said they would call me back as soon as they had the results, and I was at work. 

I had been working in a funeral home. Working in the office, but also working with families, dealing with a lot of trauma and drama. My day was just geared up to deal with all this stuff going around. The perception of a funeral home is very calm and collected and somber and in the background there's a lot going on because you don't have much time to prepare and get things organized. There's a lot of things happening. My day was busy, busy. 

About three o'clock in the afternoon my phone rang and it was the doctor's office and I answered the phone. I went in the other room and sat down and he said, "You have malignant melanoma." I don't even remember what kicked in, but I remember grabbing a pen and a little piece of scratch paper, and I still have it to this day, to remind myself of that moment. I wrote down what he was saying and it was gibberish. Whatever I could think about writing, I wrote. But in the back of my mind, my whole brain was screaming, you have cancer. All day long, all I saw on all these death certificates and about how people die, and a lot of times it was cancer.

 My mind was just honed right in on the fact that this is bad. This is really, really, really bad. I remember everybody saying it's nothing. You're gonna be fine. And right there, I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I buckled. I went down. I called my husband from work. I couldn't even talk on the phone because it just hit me so hard. I just tried to wrap my head around the fact that I have this new thing to face and it was bigger than anything I had ever faced before. I had no idea what I was going to be facing. I just knew I had to be in the right place, and it was really hard to fight that.

 The thoughts of what's gonna happen to my life? Where am I gonna end up? What am I not gonna be able to do? There was a mixed bag of emotions. There was sadness because my husband and I hadn't been married that long and we had just really wanted to start a new life and this was thrown into the mix.

 It was a lot. And I knew that even though I was in this really dark, intense place, I had to figure something out. I went for surgeries. I went for a year of treatment. Everything was perfect. Following the scan and getting a clear result, I got my port out. 

I was getting ready for work on January 7th and leaned against the counter, and I had a sore spot in my groin. I reached down and felt at the top of my thigh and felt the lump. Even though I had not felt a lump before, there's something about finding something that's wrong and knowing in your heart of hearts that something's wrong. It felt like the whole world got pulled out from under me. I thought I was victorious. I just finished all this stuff right before Christmas, and here I am, January 7th, calling my doctor to go in for a biopsy. I remember going in for that appointment and laying on that exam table while they were doing a needle biopsy and, I was shaking to the point, I couldn't even control it.

 The first round of treatment was this ground-breaking FDA approved drug that was gonna be the thing, and it failed. It failed me. We started all over with another surgery, removal of more lymph nodes and starting a whole 'nother year of treatment.

 It was a lot, it was a lot on my body. It was even more on my mind than that first year I went through this. I was feeling pretty good, victorious. I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna kick this butt and I'm going to get through this and show everybody how strong I am and the second time, it took a lot longer to recover because I'd just been through so much.

 My body didn't even have a chance to recoup, and so it took longer. I was trying to work full-time because my insurance coverage was through my employment. I had to keep working and I was trying to find that balance between how much can I work and how much can I heal? It was a lot.

 I finished the treatment in February of 2020. And we all know what happened the following month. COVID hit. I'm working now back at the funeral home and I'm still recovering from everything I had been through and now I'm dealing with a pandemic and the stress levels just shot through the roof. Between me trying to heal and everything that was going on in the world, it was just way too much.

Cindy Thompson: Hmm. There's just so much there that you've just unpacked for us.

Lorie Tesny: I know.

Cindy Thompson: What stands out for me, Lori, is how you would have been in such a heightened state of stress as you were trying to kick that first episode of cancer. People just are in that fight or flight mode for a long time. Just getting through the treatments, getting through each stage, and often it's later that people realize what they've just been through and they actually have time to almost grieve it and let it sink in. But you didn't really get time for that before you were in another sequence of treatments and having to accept this new diagnosis. It makes sense to me that you would be more tired the second time around. What would you say surprised you most looking back on that season of your life?

Lorie Tesny: If I would've been able to understand a little bit more how not to panic. That is easier said than done in the middle of all this. It was something that my doctor told me when this all reoccurred, that you cannot treat every scare as the final bomb. We'll figure out a game plan and get through it. It's easier said than done. 

I think my history of traumatic events in my past kicked me into autopilot in a lot of ways of survival mode. I didn't have that good platform to start from. I was already on a shaky platform. I didn't have a whole lot to go on when this happened again. It was a learning experience and I think the best thing I got out of it was, I got through it. I got through it, and I still keep fighting and I still have hope. I still have determination, I still have drive to keep going.

Cindy Thompson: Hmm. I suspect that's a big part of the secret to hope, is to know that I'm going to hang on to the possibilities of being well, living a full long life. I can hear in those early stages, you were already going to worst case scenario. Newly married, and I have this whole life ahead of me, and imagining worst case, which isn't unusual. I think that would be what most people might worry about in those initial stages. 

Many of us have moles. I've got lots of moles in my family, and I think about the potential risks that any of them could hold if we aren't regularly checking them. I'm curious what advice you'd give to people, because it's just such a simple little thing that people might have but not recognize the importance of getting it checked.

Lorie Tesny: I think on average, if you have anything, if you're paying attention to your body and if you have anything you notice that's new or has changed, that is a big signal to get that checked out. Make sure you go at least once a year to a dermatologist who has the tools to detect what is different or if there is something that you don't even see. You can't see your back, you can't see your scalp. There's so many things that we're limited on and we do need another person to check those things out. 

Absolutely pay attention to your body like anything else. Your skin, your gut health, your mindset. They're all things we need to check in with. We need to repeatedly take stock in where we're at and what's going on and follow those signals and pay attention.

 If you have had anything and have a family history, that would be a big signal to be on top of it and be more proactive. It wasn't immediate family. There were some distant relatives that have had a cancer diagnosis, but I was the first one in my family and multiple family members have now had skin cancer and melanoma issues.

 I've watched how this is all unraveled and unfortunately, I went through it to the point where I was stage three. I set the good example of how bad it could be and made it more important for people to be more proactive and take stock in where they're at and what they're doing.

Cindy Thompson: Hmm. It sounds like you've been able to help several family members detect it early. I wanted to dive a little deeper, Lori, into your second cancer, because that has been quite extensive, what you've had to go through. Would you tell us more about what kind of cancer that is and what that meant to you?

Lorie Tesny: It was a recurrence of the melanoma. You have a sense of power when you feel victorious and when that power is taken away because your body had other plans, it's very discouraging. It's a mind game that you play of, I don't have control over this anymore. I thought I did, but now I don't. My body's gonna do what it's gonna do, and now it's just gonna be a matter of keeping up through treatments and whatever else.

 I can tell you, getting that second diagnosis when you thought you had the best of the best causes you to scramble a little bit with second opinions, to find doctors with some other ideas. I actually had my current oncologist talk to another doctor that I was getting a second opinion from to see if they could hash something out because they're both very well known in their departments at separate hospitals just to find out what is my best course because, again, I still had to work and so I had to consider quality of life. If it was an extreme treatment, I would be out. I would be out of it for months, if not longer, recovering because of the side effects. The side effects would be long-term, possibly for the rest of my life. I had to consider those factors. When I decided the second form of treatment that allowed me to keep working, but I noticed how much it had changed me. 

Immunotherapy works different than chemotherapy. There are side effects to that, too, where your body would potentially start attacking something that is healthy, like other organs. They have to check blood work and they continue to check scans to make sure that something else isn't overdoing. I lost hair. My hair grew back white. I was almost like a Guinea pig going back to back with these two different treatments. 

Nobody really knew what was going on or couldn't answer really questions that I had about what was going on. I did a lot of research myself. That's when I started understanding how important advocating for yourself is and doing your own research is because doctors are doing the best they can, but you know yourself better and you have to voice those concerns. 

I was a pickle about it. I can tell you right now, they didn't wanna hear about the white hair anymore. They were just like, be thankful you're still here, and I get that. But I was trying to understand if this wasn't supposed to be a side effect, what was going on with me, because again, I'm still in that fight or flight mode. I'm still trying to figure things out. 

Eventually, when I met with my current oncologist, he said, " I've had other patients that have been in hospice and I've given them a course of medication and they've lost all the color in their skin because melanoma is pigment based. The drugs they're giving you is attacking the pigment. So if it's taking the pigment outta your skin, that means it's working at that level." I can tell you for years I didn't understand what the sign was or how good it was. It's not vanity, but when you start physically seeing how sick you are, it's really hard to stay ahead of that thought.

Cindy Thompson: That's a really good point because it's happening inside of you. You know that they're trying to treat you, but now you've got more outward signs of the treatment' s side effects. It's a bit of a shock and maybe another level of acceptance about what's actually happening and the severity of it. What a learning curve. I can't imagine how much you'd have to study up on your own, learn from them, and not just trust them, but to learn as much as you could so that you could advocate for yourself.

Lorie Tesny: Mm-hmm. I can tell you, if it would've been a breast cancer diagnosis, I think I would've been much more secure with reaching out to different groups, because there's a lot of support groups, a lot of organizations. Melanoma, it's a pretty rare skin cancer. Half the people I talk to have never even heard of it before. People have this misconception that it's skin cancer. Don't you just go to the dermatologist, they zap it, they cut it out, you're good to go. You go on your way and everything's fine. Melanoma, it attacks organs in your body. It's main focus is to get to your brain.

 They're always trying to prevent anything to that level. Getting those scans and being proactive to make sure nothing else is going askew is where I'm at right now and trying to stay ahead of it. I'm hopeful. This has been just five years since the original diagnosis, but it's only been three years since I've gotten the all clear. There's that weird phase that we go through of when do you start lessening your hyper attention to it? When can you start moving outside of it? When can you not be just your cancer diagnosis? That has been a longstanding evolution for me.

Cindy Thompson: Hmm. Just the extent that you continue to hold your breath, because I feel like you are regularly just waiting for the other shoe to drop, not knowing whether the next scan might be clear.

Lorie Tesny: Originally it was a year out. When everything was good, it was a year out, and then it was something's, maybe something's, cooking. We're gonna keep an eye on it. So, six months, and then last year I ended up with an emergency appendix surgery. I went in for a regular scan and told him my abdomen was a little bit tender.

 I had just done a lot of walking and climbing stairs and I have lymphedema because of the surgeries, which my body holds all that fluid in my left leg and my abdomen. I thought maybe if something got stirred up with that. As we were leaving the appointment, they told me to turn around and come back and to check into urgent care because they saw something on my scan and it was my appendix.

 I went from a year to six months to three months. That does a little number on you, too. I'm supposed to be getting longer between, not shorter. The last scan I got back up to, "See you in six months," and I was happy with that. I'm going in the right direction.

Cindy Thompson: I'm trying to imagine what it's like when you're getting ready, maybe a week out until your next appointment? 

Lorie Tesny: I think you replay all the disappointing moments as you've gone through it. I think it's definitely something I go to the mindfulness side of what I've been dealing with lately and what I've been working on lately. Adjusting that mindset and not getting sucked into the anxiety that kicks in about the what ifs and the shoulds and trying to not do that to myself because it doesn't do any good. You get yourself so worked up into such a worry that it takes away from those days leading up. I know it's been a hard thing for me in the past. I've gradually improved how I've approached that, to the point where I have it on my calendar, I know it's there, but I keep everything moving right before, that it keeps me distracted in a way. Definitely the mindset piece is really important with trying to not get so sucked into the drama of it.

Cindy Thompson: Hmm. I bet that's a challenge. And I really respect that because I'm a full believer that how we think, how we approach life, our gratefulness, our gratitude, our way of just looking at life through a positive psychology lens, makes a big difference in what we feel in our bodies.

 When you're fighting something that could be happening in your body, I can appreciate taking that perspective that I want to be positive, I want to send good vibes and get myself into a good place where I am not fostering or creating more negativity. 

Lorie Tesny: Stress is so destructive to your body and it's destructive to your immune system. Everything I've been through, even leading up to that cancer diagnosis, there has been a lot of operating in survival mode, and it's been a long process to come out of that mindset. It's been a long process to get out of that automatic response. That hiccup that happened last June with that emergency surgery forced me to go back and think about what's really important because I was really surprised by how much it affected me. I actually went and got certified as a mindfulness teacher because I wanted to teach myself how to handle these things in the future. I wanted to understand what control I had over the situation. I know you cannot control everything, but you can control how you think and when you think something, you feel it and when you feel it, it affects how you decide things. It's getting back to that core of how do I control my mind?

Cindy Thompson: I love the proactive way in which you really leaned into that element. Tell us more about what that's been bringing you and how it's been of benefit.

Lorie Tesny: It's been bringing me a lot more insight and wisdom and peace. I am not so knee-jerk reaction to things. I can take a moment and understand that time will go as fast or as slow as I need it to based on what I'm doing, how I prioritize my time, what I focus on, what's important. When I stay focused on those things, life goes a little smoother. My favorite quote, "You can't control the wind, but you can adjust your sails." I've learned as things come at me, I can't control what's coming at me. I can only control how I move forward through it.

Cindy Thompson: Hmm. I really appreciate the sailing metaphor. I think it would be really interesting for the listeners to hear, at what point did you quit the funeral home and make a big move in your life to end up living on a sailboat? 

Lorie Tesny: I went through that, third phase, I call it, of making the decision to change when the pandemic hit and I was isolated. I still had to go to work every day. I didn't have the luxury of working from home. They isolated me in another part and I had no contact with human beings. People would drop things off at the door and I would bring things into the room and close the door and be secluded. I think that alone time really caused me to think, what am I doing? I am so stressed out trying to deal with everything that's going on and everything I just went through.

 The opportunity came up to start making some changes in life and I had some new opportunities to live potentially a different life. It was a matter of three months from the time the official decision was made to the time that everything was sold, jobs were quit, the move was made, the boat was purchased. In three months, all that had taken place. 

 That tells you the power of your mind. When I set my mind to that, it happened. There was a lot of nerves and unsurety and crying fits because you have no idea what you're doing, but yet beyond a shadow of a doubt, it's something you need to do.

 I had started the podcast. I knew that I was still able to connect with other people, even on the boat. The plan was to shift gears to move so we could do this full-time and make a different life. I could still do what I had passion for, where I could still connect with people, where I could still influence people and share with them how to empower themselves because that's what it pretty much comes down to, is you.

Cindy Thompson: Yeah, I hear a message of staying true to you. You would not have thrived working by yourself with the door shut and not interacting with people. You were meant to lean into and support and help others. I can hear that gives you life. I often wonder, when people go through really hard things, when they face a major life-threatening experience, it does often change how they want to live their life, what's important to them. Do I hear that life is short, you don't know what's around the corner, how can you live it to the fullest right now?

Lorie Tesny: Yeah, my life was threatened multiple times. When you have that type of experience, you realize how quickly things can change, and how long do you wanna postpone and continue to suffer or struggle where you're at? That is the decision you have to make, and once you've made that decision that you no longer wanna be there. I'm not saying what I'm doing right now is absolutely flawless, perfect, by any means, but I can tell you it's a hundred percent better than where I was when this all started. 

I can sense when I'm starting to feel anxious and catch it as opposed to previous, where I would start that ball rolling and then it would just grow and grow and I would start shutting down. You just go into self-preservation mode because you're only doing what you can. It's whatever you can do is all you can focus on. You don't have any way of looking into the future or looking big picture because you're so closed off to just doing what you need to do to survive.

Growing through this and understanding that all these changes happen for a reason, and I know that's a hard one for people to understand. You don't wanna wish this on anybody, but I have found something that came out of it because of it. I bettered myself. I've learned how to reach out to other people to share that message. I have tried to do the best I can with what I've had and then do better. It's been a constant learning process

Cindy Thompson: That's resilience.

Lorie Tesny: That's resilience.

Cindy Thompson: I would like you to tell the listeners about your podcast and what inspired you to start it?

Lorie Tesny: I think when I was going through my diagnosis, I had a hard time finding people who could understand where I was at. I think you're just scrambling to take whatever somebody's giving you and then you just feel like, okay, is that it?

 I didn't feel the full medical support, I felt the treatments and everything that was going on medically, but it was the mental side of this that I needed. I'm not saying there wasn't stuff out there, there weren't groups out there, it just wasn't what I needed at the time.

 I thought, you know what? I've been through this. I'm gonna share this with somebody else. Maybe this will make a difference for someone else. That's why I started this show was so that I could share what I've been through and that there is hope. There is hope through all of it. You just have to get through it. Even, in the worst case scenario, I thought this was the end of my life, I still wanted to push through. It gave me a mission to keep pushing through, and that energy is what got me through a lot of it.

Cindy Thompson: Yeah, I hear community in that. You are not alone in it. You are almost building your own support group, but at the same time helping others by sharing your message. It's like an online support group that people can show up and listen and feel like you get what they might be going through.

 Since doing the podcast and hearing other stories, what have you been discovering that maybe has been a surprise for you?

Lorie Tesny: It's been interesting. When I started the show and I decided it was going to be "Sailing Through Life." It came to me in a moment that I was just so focused on wanting to do something, and it all started evolving. It's like a metaphor for getting through life, not around it. It's all about that journey and not so much the destination. It all was very relative. It was all interwoven with this adventure I was on to find a better life. 

Overcoming adversity has been a really big part of the show as far as understanding mindset and learning when other people have been knocked down, they've been able to get back up. That is what I've gotten out of it is, you're not alone. When something like this happens to you there is something better for you.

 I love the fact that even though it's been hard, even though I've struggled, even though I've cried my eyes out, even though I've had terrible, terrible moments. Right now I've talked to so many people from all over the world who have those inspiring stories, who inspire me, who empower other people, and that is so uplifting for me. To give people that whole insight to what is possible. That's where the tagline came for the show, is "stories of hope through the storms of life." There's always something that comes through it. You can go through those absolute worst times, but what happens after the storm, the sun comes back out. The storm can't last forever. You have a way to think about things differently to help you support you through this. 

Cindy Thompson: Yes, so true. I love the mission behind it. What's resonating for me, as I've met people and hear their stories of resilience, there are a couple themes that you're mentioning have come out quite consistently. One is community, not becoming isolated, but reaching out and letting others help you not feeling like you have to do it alone.

 The other message that I'm hearing is about helping others. Getting out of your own experience and actually giving to others and doing something for someone else. I hear the podcast serving both of those for you.

Lorie Tesny: Yeah. It's all purpose. You're dealing with not only mindset, but wellness and growth and staying focused. What am I telling myself about my future? What is it that's going on in that internal dialogue really affects what we decide to do. When you start paying attention to it, you start making different decisions, then you end up in different places you would've never imagined. 

If you told me a year before we did this whole adventure that this was what I was gonna be doing, I would've said no way. No way. Once the momentum started picking up and that motivation to do it. The fact that this happened in three months was a clear sign to me that there's a lot out there that we can tap into and there's a lot more potential.

Cindy Thompson: I can tell you trust that. When things come together that easily, you believe that things are working for a purpose for you. Now you're living in Florida on your sailboat. Even though, like you said, it may not be always beautiful and great as we might romanticize it. A big wave could come along at any moment and knock your desk over. I really respect that you have found a way to make life good right now, to live your best life no matter what.

 It's a beautiful message to any of us, no matter what we're going through. Even if things are going well and we're sailing along smoothly, we can be asking ourselves that very question. Where do I really need to be? Is this making me happy? Is this bringing me a sense of wellbeing? What are some other resilience practices that might be that you have come to rely on?

Lorie Tesny: Yes, I actually have been working with a holistic nutritionist to help understand my body even more to a different degree. Yoga has been a constant part of my life. Even just 15, 20 minutes has made a world of difference in what I do throughout the day. 

I've incorporated mindfulness into the podcast with meditations, and especially because I've been in situations where some other people are facing potentially that anxiety or stress. What's a simple thing you can do to shift that? What is a, simple way to relieve that anxiety from there, or help you understand it to a different level and let it go through you instead of being stuck. 

 I think just the overall watching what you eat, sleeping better. Getting dehydrated is one of the most impactful things that can throw you off, and it doesn't take much. Especially being in a warmer climate, you really have to make sure you stay hydrated, but it's deceiving even if you're in a cold climate. You still have to stay hydrated because you're in an environment that the heat's running and it's very dry air and it can dry you out. So staying hydrated is just a simple thing you can do just in itself.

Cindy Thompson: Mm-hmm. All of that helps you cope more effectively. Yeah. Some of my best sleeps have been on the boat, I have to say. 

Lorie Tesny: You'd be sleeping good right now.

Cindy Thompson: Lots of waves happening there today. When I step off our boat after we've been on for a few days, you get that movement where your inner ear makes you feel like you're still on the water. 

Lorie Tesny: Yes. There's something to always moving all the time and adapting, it can tire you out. That's another parallel to life. If you keep moving, keep moving, keep moving, it's good 'cuz you're making progress, but at times you have to stop and slow down. Take a moment, be still. And let it all settle.

I've learned a lot being in this atmosphere of how it affects me. That feeling when you get off, that's a clear sign, it's time to get back on land and maybe settle out some of those feelings. Yeah, it's been definitely a learning process to be in this lifestyle.

Cindy Thompson: Hmm. Lorie, is there anything I haven't asked you that you think you would like to share with the listeners in this particular conversation?

Lorie Tesny: Absolutely. I have a special series that I started doing last year. May is Skin Cancer Awareness Month. I stepped out in faith and asked a couple of people if they would be a part of it. I had a, skincare sunscreen company. I had a protective clothing company. I had my sister, who is my biggest fan, as a survivor. 

 It has h ad such a great response that it's not going to be just in May. It's actually starting in early April and going through June. All the guests have either gone through melanoma or skin cancer diagnosis. They are part of an organization that helps people understand their diagnosis. They are companies that create some protective products to help people stay safe in the sun. It's all geared around that safety aspect and bringing awareness to that is the whole highlight of that series.

 That is something I'm really looking forward to. I've been able to reach out to people who have, been an inspiration to me from the beginning of my cancer journey. It has come full circle and it actually chokes me up. I will actually be able to talk to these people one-on-one. I'm very, very grateful for this.

Cindy Thompson: It sounds like a gift to you, but also a gift to those that are going to learn from that series. I really respect that perhaps this conversation will stand out for somebody. Maybe they've had something on their skin or a mole, or their family member has. They might say, you know, I listened to this episode and I think we should get that checked. Our job will be done. 

Lorie Tesny: Yes, absolutely. Even if you're not sure, definitely stay on it. Be proactive. Check yourself once a month. Go to the dermatologist once a year, and even more so if you have a family history of anything. 

Cindy Thompson: Mm. Together, I feel like we are both on this journey to grow resilience around the world. I really appreciate your partnering with me today, being a guest and being in a great conversation to hopefully leave this world just a little better.

Lorie Tesny: Thank you, Cindy. Thank you very, very much for having me.

Cindy Thompson: It's my pleasure. Thanks so much, Lorie.

Cindy Thompson: I want to thank Lorie for sharing her story with us. It is a powerful message of prevention, early intervention, and resilience through the storms.  

 I appreciate hearing from guests about the wisdom, insights and learnings they have discovered from their experiences. This is key to realizing our strengths. It is not lost on me that Lorie's boat is called Endeavour. It is a fair reflection of the adventure she has been on. As she suggested, Lorie can’t change the winds, but she can adjust her sails.  

 Here are some of the resilience practices I have captured from our conversation…

 -         Lori reminds us that developing our resilience skills is about getting THROUGH life, not around it.  

-         Attempting to maintain a strong platform, to begin with, allows you a reserve of energy and the clarity to respond from a place of strength. When we are in a chronic state of stress, we are more vulnerable when further challenges come our way.

-         Focus on what you can control. For example, how you prioritize your time, what you focus on, and assessing what is most important. 

-         Find your purpose. In starting the podcast, Lorie identified what she needed then, and it has benefited her in so many ways.  

-         Remember, the storm doesn’t last forever, and when something happens to you, there is something better for you. Even though you may not see it at the time.

-         Mindfulness helps us manage our stress. The power of the mind will be one of your most helpful tools. Our inner dialogue affects what we decide to do, like a chain of events. When you start paying attention to it, you make different decisions which will help you end up in a different place than you had imagined.  

-         Watch what you eat, get enough sleep, and stay hydrated.

Some of the Adversity in our lives comes out of the blue and blindsides us, while other challenges might arise from our decisions. Either way, resilience isn't just about getting stronger but getting smarter.  

 I want to send a big hug out to Lorie, and she continues to go for regular scans and keeps a close eye on her health. Please check out her podcast, Sailing Through Life with Lorie, as she shares stories of hope through the storms of life.

 As we wrap up this episode, I want to leave you with two questions and a quote.

 What is the story you are telling yourself about your future? And…

If you were to take a more optimistic outlook on your current situation, how might this affect decisions you are making today?

 Quote:   

"To realize the worth of the anchor, we need to feel the stress of the storm."  Corrie Ten Boom

 If you have enjoyed this podcast, I would like to ask a favour. If you can rate and comment on your preferred podcast platform, you will be helping us on our mission to cultivate radical resilience around the world, one conversation at a time.  

 And remember, friends, Adversity is inevitable while resilience is a practice.

Cindy Thompson: Thank you for listening to this episode of ‘A Resilience Project.’ We would not be doing this podcast without you. If you or someone you know has an inspirational story or is helping to build resilience in their community, please e-mail me at cindy@aresilienceproject.com. In fact, e-mail me either way. I would love to hear from you. My hope is to feature an episode periodically on your letters of resilience. I'm very interested in hearing your story of how you have tackled hard things and what worked for you. With your permission, I hope to share some of these stories along the way with our listeners. Also, check out my website, aresilienceproject.com to learn more about our amazing guests.  

Your presence here is important because together we are cultivating a village of resilient individuals. You are creating a space for their stories to be shared and a sacred space for learning to occur. I also have a favor - I would love for you to go to your preferred podcast platform, rate and review the podcast so that we will know how we're doing. I also would like to express my gratitude to the amazing team of volunteers that have jumped on board to support this project. You will find each of those beautiful people on my website on the team page.  

As you go about this week, I invite you to think about one way that you can continue to grow your resilient muscle. What is one thing you can start with today? See you next week.

 HELPFUL RESILIENCE INFORMATION

Definition of Resilience

Capacity to cope with and recover quickly from setbacks, difficulties, and toughness; to adapt well to change; and keep going in the face of adversity.

Types of Resilience - how the body deals with change and recovers from physical demands, illnesses, and injuries. 

Physical Resilience how the body deals with change and recovers from physical demands, illnesses and injuries.  

Mental Resilience ability to adapt to change and uncertainty.  

Emotional Resilience ability to regulate emotions during times of stress. 

Social Resilience community resilience – ability of groups to recover from difficult situations.

Areas of Life or Situations That Require A High Level of Resilience:

·      Resilience in Adoption

·       Resilience in Adults

·       Resilience in Anxiety - Depression

·       Resilience in Body Image – Eating Disorders

·       Resilience in Change

·       Resilience in Children

·       Resilience in Chronic Illness

·       Resilience in Death & Dying

·       Resilience in Divorce

·       Resilience in Immigration

·       Resilience in Non-Profits

·       Resilience in Marriage

·       Resilience in Parenting

·       Resilience in Post Secondary Education

·       Resilience in Pregnancy

·       Resilience in Racism

·       Resilience in Relationships

·       Resilience in Suicide

·       Resilience in Teens

·       Resilience in Trauma 

·       Resilience in War

·       Resilience in the Workplace

 Traits, Qualities and Characteristics That People with Resilience Possess:

·         They are authentic

·         They adapt to change and see it not as a challenge, but an opportunity

·         They make commitments and keeps them

·         They feel in control – strong internal locus of control

·         They have close and secure attachment to others

·         They set personal or collective goals

·         They become stronger with the effect of stress

·         They learn from past successes and mistakes

·         They view themselves as survivors – Survivor mentality

·         They have a good self-image

·         They are confidence in ability to make good decisions

·         They have a sense of humor

·         They have an action-oriented approach to life

·         They have patience around people

·         They have optimism in face of uncertainty

·         The have Faith or some belief in a higher power

Ways to build Resilience in People

·       Create more purpose and meaning in all that you do

·       Develop a good support system – supportive network circle that they can engage for help

·       Maintaining positive relationships

·       Work towards developing good communication skills.

·       Develop the capacity to make realistic plans and to carry them out

·       Maintain a well-balanced routine lifestyle of diet and exercise

·       Practice emotional regulation to manage your feelings, impulses and emotions 

·       Practice good problem-solving skills to rationally develop solutions

·       Find ways to help others

·       Set time aside for journaling

·       Develop new skills to respond differently to situations. ... 

·       Turn setbacks into opportunities for growth. ... 

·       Maintain a healthy perspective. ... 

·       Maintain Proper sleeping habits

·       Practice meditation

Organizations that promote and support Resilience

Resilience Quotes

Resilience Books

Resilience Courses