Ep. 2: Boundaries with Connection

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
Ep. 2: Boundaries with Connection
Dec 04, 2020 Season 1 Episode 2
Robyn Gobbel

Brain-based parenting with connection and coregulation doesn’t mean boundary-less parenting. In fact, if you are parenting a child who is a little delayed with regard to developing self-regulation, this type of parenting actually means MORE boundaries.

But boundaries aren’t consequences or punishments.

Boundaries are the supports your child needs to be successful.

It’s a little like toddler proofing. Toddlers aren’t untrustworthy, misbehaving, or sneaky because they explored the stairs and then fell down. Toddlers are just doing their toddler thing with their toddler brain. It’s our job as the adults to provide the boundaries and co-regulation they need to support their developmental task (exploration) without getting hurt!

So we provide lots of supervision and baby-gates. And we support their safe exploration of the stairs- holding their hands as they go up and down, or sitting one step below them while they play.

If we remember a few important tenets of brain-based parenting:

  • Connection is a biological imperative
  • Behavior is an externalization of inner experience
  • Regulated, Connected, Kids who Feel Safe Behave Well

Then we can feel confident that when our kids are struggling (lying, stealing, manipulation, opposition, etc.) that they need more support.

Read my blog article about Boundaries with Connection here: Boundaries with Connection

Watch the original Facebook Live video on Boundaries with Connection: Facebook LIVES

If you are new to the the relational neurosciences or this approach to parenting, you'll want to watch my FREE 45-minute video series on Regulation, Connection, and Felt Safety.  You can w

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HUGE announcement! The Baffling Behavior Training Institute's {NEW!} is now accepting applications for the 2026 cohorts of the Professional Training Program (formerly Being With). 

In 2026 we will have a second cohort that meets in the evening, eastern time- which is the morning in Asia and Australia!

You must be on the waiting list to apply! RobynGobbel.com/Immersion

Join me for Presence in Practice- an experiential retreat style workshop for professionals into the neurobiology of how change happens. July 14-16 in Rockford, MI (just north of Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/PresenceinPractice

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Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

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Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)