Ep 193: When They Pull Away (The Avoidant Strategy)

The Uncover YOU podcast

The Uncover YOU podcast
Ep 193: When They Pull Away (The Avoidant Strategy)
Feb 12, 2026
Eva Beronius

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I’m joined by my friend Pontus for an honest conversation about the pattern many people label “avoidant”—the push–pull between longing for connection and needing space. If you’re the one pulling away, or if you’re on the receiving end of someone creating distance, this episode offers a rare, compassionate look behind the curtain.

Pontus shares what it’s like when the body says no and the mind rushes in to build a case: “They’re not right,” “I’m broken,” “This will never work.” Together, we slow it down and uncover what’s underneath: the fear of an inner emotional experience—and the survival strategy of pulling away so you don’t have to feel it.

Related episodes:
EP 192: 5 Signs of Insecure Attachment (And How to Use Them to Heal)
EP 164: A different look at anxious and avoidant attachment

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Episode Artwork Ep 193: When They Pull Away (The Avoidant Strategy) 1:07:17 Episode Artwork Ep 192: 5 Signs Of Insecure Attachment (And How To Use Them To Heal) 47:43 Episode Artwork Ep 191: How To Heal Wounds At The Root (And Become Secure In Relationships) 31:19 Episode Artwork Ep 190: Should Love Feel Safe? (And Is Attraction Bad..?) 45:19 Episode Artwork Ep 189: When Asking For Safety Pushes Them Away (Is It Me or Them, Part 2) 32:36 Episode Artwork Ep 188: From “Why didn’t I learn this?” to “I’m here to lead” 24:37 Episode Artwork Ep 187: Jealousy as Wisdom 28:26 Episode Artwork Ep 186: From Self-Fixing to Self-Cultivation: A Mindset Revolution 22:53 Episode Artwork Ep 185: Training Your Heart to Lead Instead of Hide (and What I've Practiced Lately) 45:29 Episode Artwork Ep 184: THE Thing To Practice For Better Relationships 26:50 Episode Artwork Ep 183: My Crazy Episode - and What You Can Learn From It 44:28 Episode Artwork Ep 182: Welcome to the Relationship Revolution 27:19 Episode Artwork Ep 181: Tap into rebellion (to overcome old patterns) 21:58 Episode Artwork Ep 180: From anxious and obsessing to enjoying her relationship, with Kate 1:27:35 Episode Artwork Ep 179: How to safely move through conflict (for avoiders and instigators) 50:59 Episode Artwork Ep 178: The hidden piece under our reactions 49:07 Episode Artwork Ep 177: Unlocking hormonal super-powers with Dr Maria Tedim 1:21:10 Episode Artwork Ep 176: Six common mistakes when working on your relationship patterns 37:03 Episode Artwork Ep 175: What “healed” feels like - and how to get there in 2025 38:13 Episode Artwork Ep 174: Yuletide Tales: An Ode To My Nose 28:31 Episode Artwork Ep 173: Yuletide Tales: Thank You To The Man Who’s Making Me Feel Again 21:54 Episode Artwork Ep 172: Yuletide Tales: Legolas and Gimli 30:05 Episode Artwork Ep 171: Yuletide Tales: The Jigsaw Maker’s Daughter 23:50 Episode Artwork Ep 170: Yuletide Tales: This Year’s Love Better Last 14:12 Episode Artwork Ep 169: 3 things my successful clients have in common 49:21