Perception, Creating or Barricading?

In the Podcast, we’ll explore two sides of Perception—your view of the world and the other’s view of you! Master the art of creating rather than barricading. It’s your choice which side of the mental equation you live. One leads to success, the other not so much!

ThriveWithNancy Podcast addresses the tough points of contention you face daily as a woman executive. Nancy Fredericks shares all the secrets she’s acquired as an experienced thought-leader. She’s Strategically Partnered with women executives for over 30+ years, sharing practical, workable solutions to tap into immediately on your way to achieving all of your career hopes and dreams.

If you’re an executive woman interested in gaining more insights, check out the Thrive Strategic Executive Edge Coaching Program—special going on right now!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

Thank you. I am so honored you downloaded the Thrive with Nancy podcast. My intention is to provide insights that will fast track your career as an executive woman. Our topic is perception creating or barricading. You'll fully grasp how powerful your mind is at both creating and barricading through this podcast. It's your choice which side of the mentality equation you live. Let me begin on wrapping what I mean. Recently I ran smack dab into an interpretation issue that changed my view in a nanosecond Picture this, I was sway on the swinging in the backyard, the sweet tranquility of the sun and the breeze put a satisfied smile on my face. All was right in my slice of the world until at first dimly and then with an increase in timber, I heard a sound that I couldn't quite identify. Oh, I reflected in recognition how delightful geese honking as they fly up river nature, adding song to my already pleasant afternoon thought I , after several moments of appreciation, I noticed the sound getting louder almost as though the geese were swooping down over my backyard. I looked around to appreciate the sight went through the fence, slats my eyes, noticed an old rusty three wheel bike pedaling noisily along the bike path. In an instant, nature's gift of geese honking turned into a very different experience. As my perception of the event spun on its axis, the joy of nature morphed into the nitty gritty, jarring sound of civilization. That's the power of perception. You believe you are right until you're not. This occasion was humorous and didn't impact my career or my life at all, but rarely are the ones you experience at work so innocuous. You see, the good part of perception is all part of developing a vision for your future or building up your confidence or has you bonding with a fellow executive based on belief in them or allows you to open-mindedly, discuss your approximating thoughts of an emerging marketplace or identifying major trends coming down the pike that will impact your career or that will impact your division or your company. Those that have learned to test their perceptions regarding people and business are more successful. Conversely, how often rather than being open are you listening or interpreting situation simply to confirm what you already know. You see when you compare the information you're receiving against what you currently believe. Well, with this mindset, you never give yourself a chance to learn anew, nor are you allowing fresh thoughts to penetrate your mind. Creating new game, changing ahas, are your perceptions and assumptions regarding work and people negatively impacting your career or are they supporting you? Are you actively working on identifying your biases and viewpoints that are holding your career from being all it could be? The reality is that perception and assumptions have a lot more to do with your career success than you might imagine. Time to look at where some of your misperceptions come from. I call this the the explanation gap and all those oxley alludes to this phenomenon. When he says there are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception. Our mind automatically fills any gap between the known and the unknown with what we believe to be so it goes like this. An interaction takes place and we have an expectation of a subsequent interaction occurring. If the second interaction never transpires or the outcome is different than expected and explanation gap ensues. The in-between is caused by unknowingness uncertainty or unexpectedness. As we encounter the explanation gap or vacuum of understanding, our minds quickly floods it with plausible reasoning. In reality, you are just guessing as a way to create a story that your mind accepts as a temporary reality until the real facts emerge. If you're self-confident, you're more likely to fill the gap with empowering thoughts. However, if your belief in self is diminished even a little bit and underdeveloped, you'll find yourself cramming that gap with negative stories that are disempowering and destructive to your career. Explanation gaps occur all day long. Think about yourself. What thoughts are you filling your gaps with ? Shift your internal dialogue. That's where change always takes place. First, start stuffing that insidious explanation gap of yours with dialogue that empowers you to stand front and center as the proud, powerful being that you truly are. And if you haven't heard me say this before, studies reveal that confidence often counts as a promotion factor in business more than your skills, not something I as a woman enjoy sharing, but confidence does influence the final decision. If you are filling your explanation gap with uninspiring thoughts, you definitely won't be exuding confidence. Ellen Langer, a professor of psychology at Harvard University highlights this point when she says, it is not our physical state that limits us. It is our mindset about our own limits, our perceptions that draws the line in the sand throughout history. It's through expanding the lines in the sand that breakthrough occurs. I woke up this morning remembering my own line in the sand moment so many years ago. I can't even name the year, but had I not said yes, I wouldn't be who you know me to be today. Elizabeth St . James was an older woman and well-versed much more so than I. Out of nowhere. She asked me to co-lead the job club, held weekly at the church, reverberating through my head along with the wave of shyness that held me back for years with my preference of being an introvert and so many reasons why my perception of myself were screaming no. As I uncertainly said yes, I took the first step of moving past my line in the sand to generate a future to today that is filled with fulfillment and passion and supporting others to increase their possibilities. Are you thinking I'm an anomaly? It couldn't possibly work for you. Think again. Have any of you heard about George Danzig ? He was a doctoral candidate at the University of California Berkeley. I hadn't heard of him either until I heard his story. One day he came running into class late, noticed two math problems written on the blackboard, which he assumed was homework. It was a daunting assignment and took several days to complete. He even apologized to his professor as he turned in his homework thinking he should have gotten it done much faster. A few days later, he and his wife were awakened by lad knocking on the door. It was his professor excitedly saying, I've just written an introduction to one of your papers. Read it so I can send it out right away for publication. Yes, you got it. What Danzig had assumed was homework problems on the blackboard that he had to work on were in fact two famous unsolved problems in statistics which he had just solved. Wow. If he'd heard that they were unsolvable, as did his classmates, I doubt Dan Zig would ever have unlocked the code, but he unknowingly stepped across a line in the sand when he assumed it could be done and breakthrough occurred. Now it's time to examine the other side of perception, not you looking at yourself, but the view others have of you because what you're thinking and believing, whether right or wrong, it's reality to them and it can harm your career if you don't do something about it. I often believe stories open the door to illumination, so let me share how perception negatively impacted a client of mine. Morgan was recruited away from a company for a position that both challenged her and was in an area of her passions. After six months, she was still thrilled but concerned. She was hired to get a critical off track international endeavor back on track . It required a ton of global travel. The project was going well, but after a couple of months, Morgan was hearing some unsettling comments from her interim boss. He brought up her travel several times. From her point of view it was evident the projects continued improvement, dependent on her face-to-face interactions with the various stakeholders. Morgan knew at the same time her company was restricting expenses including travel, so provided her interim boss with the facts , figures, and statistics validating the travel expenses. Yet the topic repeatedly came up in conversation with her interim boss and in meetings with her peers and even through the administrative assistance , persistent questioning, it showed up in direct comments, disturbing subtle jabs, and at other times small, insignificant, jealous quips. The nitpicking was driving her crazy and had her thinking she'd made a wrong career decision. I suggested to Morgan that somehow her interim boss and others in her new organization had gained an impression that she thrived on travel. They perhaps perceived she was squeezing out every opportunity to increase her time on the road. I advised you're going to have to water drop comments about how there is much more travel in this position than anticipated, not as a wine, but just as a fact or the need has been challenging for this much travel, for she and her family or muse out loud about ideas and ways of getting the job done through non-travel options or solicit ideas for getting the same improvement stats. While cutting down on travel, she started water dropping madly. An amazing shift occurred. Her interim boss stopped bugging her and started encouraging her to see people face to face a wrong perception that was harming her, transformed through these water drops. The challenge is that you are responsible for turning around misperceptions as soon as you recognize them. After all, it is your career. They're harming and along the pathway of others understanding you better, you may gain insights about them. In Morgan's case, she was able to shift the opinion others had of her and while doing so, she came to accept the interim boss's need to walk a thin line. He wanted to be named boss for real, so aligning himself with the company's tightened budget was essential and he wanted the project to be successful. Morgan learned to partner with a boss for both of them to thrive in their positions. Let's conclude this discussion with a simple experiment of Ellen Langer. You know, the psychologist out of Harvard University mentioned earlier, this shift in perception demonstrates how a shift in your perception improves the results you produce. It reveals how easily we allow our brain to hold us smaller than we were ever, ever created to be. Let me set the stage. Envision going into your eye doctor for an examination. Your doctor runs you through a myriad of tests and then up pops the eye chart and you're asked How far down can you read? Langer showed that merely by inverting the eye chart so that the large E is on the bottom. People couldn't read letters they couldn't before because the standard eye chart gets progressively smaller. She says, it tells you soon you are not going to be able to see what e can you turn upside down in your career so that your perceptions will have you being all that you were created to be. Your mind is far more powerful than you ever credit. What unsolvable problem will you now crack? Are you ready to convert your explanation gap with supportive assumptions rather than negative ones? Are you ready to cross that line in the sand? How are you going to take responsibility for being seen and experienced as you truly are? Because I hope you understand this is your duty. Start right away making a difference because that is something that will give you the foundation for success today and into the future. Thanks for listening with an open mind. If you enjoyed this, please tell others about Thrive with Nancy Podcasts and check out my other episodes. For additional resources, visit thrive with nancy.com. A powerful resource for women executives. Much success.