The power of resilience | how to win your battles in life

Nicole knows a little something about resilience and how to come out victorious in the battles we face in life!

If you are someone in need of hope, inspiration and an example of what it means to hold on to your faith until God brings you through, i HIGHLY encourage you to watch this week's episode and get the motivation to keep on keeping on! You're going to make it, God is faithful!

Se8 | Ep154 | the iamthepossible podcast experience

Summary

In this episode of the I Am The Possible podcast, Treveal C.W. Lynch engages in a heartfelt conversation with Nicole Webb, a retired Army First Sergeant. 

Nicole shares her inspiring journey from a challenging childhood to a successful military career, highlighting the importance of faith, resilience, and motherhood. She discusses the trials she faced, including her experiences as a single mother and the impact of her faith in overcoming adversity. 

Nicole's story is a testament to the power of perseverance and the role of God in her life, offering hope and inspiration to listeners. In this heartfelt conversation, Nicole Webb shares her journey of faith, resilience, and the power of testimony. She discusses the importance of finding strength in God during difficult times, the role of divine intervention in her life, and the significance of unconditional love. 

Nicole reflects on her experiences in the military, the challenges of healing and reconciliation, and her aspirations for the future, including her desire to write and share her story with others. The conversation emphasizes the importance of community, faith, and the transformative power of love.

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Transcript

Treveal C.W. Lynch (00:02.703)
All right, well, let's just get right to it. Let's jump into this. Nicole, thank you so much for just sharing your life, sharing your experiences, your expertise, your background, just sharing the person that you are with us, those of us here in the I Am The Possible universe. We are people who want to be inspired. We want to be told that we can. And sometimes the greatest way to tell us that we can is to show us

Nicole Webb (00:08.599)
Thank you.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (00:31.387)
what you've already done, what you've gone through, sharing your life experiences, sharing your ups, your downs, and just being yourself and allowing us to witness that, allowing us to share in your journey and to share in your stories. So I'm just looking forward to this moment. I don't want to give you any particular intro.

I want you to introduce yourself as you desire. So tell us a little bit about yourself, who you are, where you're from, what you're up to in the world, and then we'll just flow from there.

Nicole Webb (01:05.538)
Sounds good. Thank you so much for having me today. So my name is Nicole Webb. I am a retired Army First Sergeant. I served almost 22 years for my country. I had joined the military when I was 17, originally in the National Guard, and then I switched to active duty. So I am two years retired, effective one February. So that's been quite the transition for me. I am a single mother of two amazing young men, God-fearing, God-seeking men.

So my oldest is 18 and he goes to the University of Tennessee, Knoxville as an engineer. He's in the engineering program. And then my youngest is 16 and he is a sophomore in high school and pursuing wrestling pretty in depth. He's very much into wrestling. So those are my joys. The job that I currently do, I help transitioning service members separating from the military, find meaningful employment before they get out of the military off of active duty.

from all the branches of service. And so it's super rewarding, very valuable. It's one of those jobs where you love what you do and you're happy to wake up every morning and serve your people, right? My veterans are my people. So that's just a little bit about me and kind of what I'm up to in my life a little bit. So.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (01:58.93)
care.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (02:09.304)
Absolutely.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (02:18.547)
Oh man, so okay, so I got questions and that's kind of how it goes. We just, we listened to the intro and just all of the curiosity just starts to kick in. You said you started at 17 in the military? Yeah.

Nicole Webb (02:34.562)
Yes, I joined at 17 as a junior in high school. So I went to basic training my junior year of high school, came back completed my senior year of high school and then I went to what's called AIT which is our advanced individual training where we learn our job and then right after that I went active duty.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (02:52.243)
So let me ask, because I'm, as you already know, because we've done some things together already, my son just shipped off in the Navy. And I know his, I think I know his motivation, right? Just a part of his motivation as to why he chose the military, why he chose the Navy and why he's choosing this path. But what was it for you? I mean, at 17, you're still young, you're still, you're in those formative years. Share with us.

What made you choose the military at 17 and what made you choose the specific branch that you chose?

Nicole Webb (03:28.778)
So for me at 17, I was pretty lost and of the world. I had to experience some pretty hard times in my life. I grew up without a mom. My dad was a single dad raised by my single dad. And life was very hard in the city that I was growing up in. And just faced a lot of challenges and it was time to go. So I knew something had to happen. And I had a great GPA and I was on track to go to college. And I just was like, so my dad was in the Navy. So I had always thought I would join the Navy.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (03:33.874)
Okay.

Nicole Webb (03:58.951)
I have a pretty good intellect and when I took the ASVAB they're like, yeah, we definitely went to the military. How about, so the first branch to come talk to me was the National Guard, which is the Army, but you know the part-time portion of that before you go, you know, active duty like I did. And so I had originally thought the Navy and then I chose the National Guard because they came and talked to me first.

And then, yeah, as soon as I went to basic training and AIT, I decided to go active duty. But for me, it was to get out of the situations I was in life and just to go out on my own and know that I can do something that people like me maybe don't always get opportunity to do.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (04:33.427)
Mm-hmm. Wow. Can you speak to, and we are a community, a platform that says as much as you want to share, as transparent, as open as you want to be. I know for myself, looking at the military, I never thought of it as an option when I was growing up, but I didn't think of it as an option.

Maybe just because of my surroundings and the hopelessness that I had, I just didn't think I was gonna do anything. But I heard you say challenges, and I heard you, and I don't know if you picked up on this, but we do wanna dive into as much as you would like to share about those challenges, because there may be people listening that can identify with those challenges and would need that hope and that inspiration to make it through their challenges. And then I wanna get into, you had like some hope.

you know, when you said people like me to get a chance to do something different, to do something that maybe otherwise I wouldn't be, you know, afforded the chance to do. And so I wanna know, you know, kind of where that hope came from and what it was that you hoped, you know, maybe to accomplish with your life through the military. But first, what were those challenges, as much as you wanna share, you know, as deep as you wanna go, but what were those specific challenges that you were facing that would...

that would cause you to kind of pick up and say, hey, I want to dive into a journey that's really the unknown. So yeah.

Nicole Webb (06:06.358)
So, like I said, I was raised without a mom. So I was raised like a guy most of my life, right? I was raised with my brothers and my dad. We grew up in the Kayamichi Mountains of Oklahoma. No running water, no electricity. We lived off the land and that was challenging but great. That was like, I can say, some of the happiest moments of my childhood, to be honest. But with that comes challenges. You don't know when your next meal is coming. You don't have medical care. My first time to the dentist was basic training.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (06:13.53)
Okay.

Nicole Webb (06:35.242)
So we grew up without a lot in poverty. And so eventually my dad had an opportunity to go to Illinois. We were kind of like tricked into it if you will, but we were kids, right? So you gotta follow what the parents say. And my aunt and uncle had came to Oklahoma for their vacation and asked us, did we wanna go on vacation? So we're like, we've never been on a vacation. This sounds awesome. But just prior to them arriving, we had just moved into our first home that had running water and electricity. So.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (06:47.913)
Right.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (06:52.615)
Okay.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (06:57.992)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (07:04.564)
Mm.

Nicole Webb (07:04.794)
It was great to experience that. So we're like, oh, what is vacation gonna be like? So we were told to pack three items of clothing, like three sets of clothing and one personal item. So that's all we got to pack that summer. And we left our house in Oklahoma and we never got to go back home. Because my dad got a job in Illinois and then life changed for us. He thought he could provide better for us and just different things like that. But we also didn't get to say bye to any friends, to our animals.

to our possessions, to anything, because all of that got, let's just say, forgotten. And so we never went back home. We never got to close any loops, none of that stuff. So in that time in Oklahoma, there was this very kind family, the Byrds. They would come and get my brothers and I to take us to church. My dad was not a believer. So that was really hard to deal with in my childhood. In fact, he oftentimes dealt with the opposite side of the spectrum.

And so witnessing that as a child, a young girl, it was a little difficult. But before my mom did leave, because she left Thanksgiving Day of 1991, we did used to go to church together and she would sing. And one of her favorite songs was One Beneath My Wings. So I can't sing like my mom, but it was like one of my greater memories of her, right, before she left to go be with another man. And so the birds would take us to church and it was great. And so little seeds were planted.

but I didn't really know this whole God thing, right? Like I was taught a little bit about him, but my dad again, so church was like a privilege to get to go with the birds to church, but he would use it as a punishment for my brothers, but not so much me. So I went to church quite often as a young girl. And then from, by the time we got to Illinois, I didn't go to church again for many, many years. And so there was a big gap there, but lots of big things happened in my life during that time as well.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (08:36.957)
I was taught a little bit about him, but my dad again, the church was like a privilege to get to go with the person. Okay. Use it as a punishment for my brothers, but not so much me.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (08:57.567)
There's a big gap there, but lots of big things happened in my life.

Nicole Webb (09:02.278)
And so I would go with a friend here and there to like their church service and stuff, but I didn't know anything about denominations. I didn't really know a whole lot about anything. Right. So I was just going through the motions in life and again, lots of lots of big challenges. So in high school, I got kicked out and disowned for some big situation with my with my father. And in that situation, it broke me.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (09:12.687)
Right.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (09:17.275)
challenges so in high school.

Nicole Webb (09:32.53)
I didn't want to be around anymore. And so I survived through all of the challenges that brought. So in high school, my senior year was very, very rough. I didn't even think I was gonna make it through my senior year. So one of my guidance counselors kind of stepped in as a father figure to me. A family took me in and life changed, it got better. And I was like, oh, you know, I was saved in this situation. Well, my dad and I didn't speak from December 3rd of 2000.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (09:34.559)
Hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (09:40.888)
You're very, very rough.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (09:45.791)
and my parents counselors kind of stepped in as a father figure to me. A family took me in and life changed. It got better. And I was like, oh.

Nicole Webb (10:01.206)
to April 21st of 2001. And he had, when we lived in Oklahoma, he had got hit in the head with a tree. So he's had a brain aneurysm for all of these years. It was supposed to take him out a long time ago, but I'm gonna say, but God, even though my dad wasn't on that side of things, God definitely kept my dad. And so April 21st, I get a call from my little brother and he's like, hey, Nikki, we need you to come home. And I was like, oh my gosh, what happened, right? And he's like, dad's like seizing out. So I ran from the house I was staying at to get home to my dad.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (10:13.427)
even though my dad wasn't on that side of things. I definitely kept my dad. And so...

Treveal C.W. Lynch (10:24.467)
Mm-hmm. And he's like, dad's like seizing out. So I ran from the house I was staying at to get home to my dad. And he was like, I can forgive you, but I'll never forget. And I said, well, if that's what we have to do, then that's what we have to do. So then on April 21st, we decided to just be friends. And so since then, up until actually very recently, for the past several decades until very recently, he's been a friend to me, not a dad to me. So.

Nicole Webb (10:30.946)
And he's like, I can forgive you, but I'll never forget. And I said, well, if that's what we have to do, then that's what we have to do. So at that point on April 21st, we decided to just be friends. And so since then, up until actually very recently, for the past several decades until very recently, he's been a friend to me, not a dad to me. So it's kind of like I grew up without a mom and a dad. So I was just out here in the world flapping, trying to figure things out. So the military, since I joined at 17, my dad had signed my paperwork before I got kicked out of the zone.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (10:50.536)
So I was just.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (10:56.723)
paperwork before I got kicked on just now.

Nicole Webb (10:59.298)
I was like, well, this is going to be the direction that I need to go to do what's best for Nicole, to get out of the situation that I'm in and go live my own life and, you know, try to still help provide for my siblings because I have a lot of siblings. It was just my two brothers with my biological mom, but then more came about in various situations, some family blood and some, some not blood, but you know, family is what we want them to be, right? So, and in the military as well, you meet a lot of family. So I have a lot of army family too.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (11:10.408)
Oh.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (11:20.061)
is what we want them to be, right? And in the military, as well.

Nicole Webb (11:27.806)
And so yeah, that's kind of how I, why I pivoted into joining the military. But like I said, my dad was in the Navy. So after I joined the army, my older brother actually joined the Navy and my younger brother actually joined the Marine Corps. So at one point we were all three serving at the same time. And my dad was pretty proud Vietnam vet with all three of his kids serving at the same time. I'm the only one who retired and stayed in the longest. But yeah, so it was...

Treveal C.W. Lynch (11:28.231)
Hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (11:38.335)
Thank you.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (11:42.951)
Mm-hmm.

Vietnam vet with all three of these kids serving at the same time. I'm the only one who retired and stayed in the longest time. But yeah, so it was good in that aspect.

Nicole Webb (11:52.554)
It was good in that aspect as well. And then just service to my country. I've always felt called to be like a servant leader. And so, you know, I'm a retired first sergeant. I served my soldiers day in and day out. I would move any mountain that God would move with me for them. And so I'm a big mama bear when it comes to my soldiers and I'll do anything for them. Right. And if they're in the right, then I'm going to fight till the end. And if they're in the wrong, we're going to figure out how to fix it. Right. Own your mistakes and let's grow from there.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (11:57.427)
Hmm... Yeah...

Treveal C.W. Lynch (12:05.223)
Wow. Right.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (12:17.011)
Hmm.

Nicole Webb (12:21.706)
And so in the job that I do now, also I'm fed in that same manner. And it's like I'm a civilian first sergeant. I get to help them figure out things in life that they haven't experienced yet, but I have to help them navigate those challenges with transition and things. So I hope I met all of your questions that you were just asking, but I kind of started going and I'm like, oh, I forgot what he asked.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (12:26.47)
Mm-hmm.

they haven't experienced yet but I have. Mm-hmm. To help them navigate those challenges with trans...

Treveal C.W. Lynch (12:38.143)
Yeah. No, no, that's perfect. No, my goodness, my goodness. No, this is about you. This moment is about you. And I've been podcasting for a little while, but you never perfect it. But one thing that you definitely strive to do is to honor the guest. And I'm being more and more conscious of asking the question and shutting up.

Allowing you to shine right allowing you to shine because this is about you. This is your moment You know for some people this is even therapeutic and so I just want to serve you in this moment So, please don't hold back. Don't feel like you're answering it too long. There is no too long. Just just go with it Such resilience such resilience such passion such service

I see in your life, what can you contribute to the fact that you had gone through so much and yet in the military, and I've witnessed it, right? I've been a part of some of those cohorts and kind of witnessed you doing what you do. Where do you think that came from? How did you make a transition from, as you said, not even thinking that you really wanted to be around much longer, to showing up for your servicemen and you know...

service women to such a degree, like going from, I don't know if I even want to be here to if you're in a battle, I'm showing up for you. What do you think contributes to such transformation to such a transition in your life?

Nicole Webb (14:12.578)
Thank you.

Nicole Webb (14:23.386)
Well, I think part of the biggest part of that is never having anyone show for me. So that definitely contributes to it greatly. I don't want anybody to have to go through what I've been through. If I can prevent that from any human at any point, I will always do so. And then eventually as I was in my career, I became a single mom early on. And I was never supposed to be able to have a child. And I did. So, but God.

And so that was like a pivot point in my life. I never, I grew up without a mom. Didn't really know how to be a mom, but I had to be a mom since I was eight years old, courtesy of my mom. And kind of like a wife and a whole bunch of things all at the same time in a little eight year old body. And so I had been serving people literally my entire life. I've been in survival mode. Like a situation happened when I was a young girl before my mom left and then eight years old that happened. And so it's just been constant survival.

And so when I got pregnant with my first son, I was like, God, like you are the only way this could have happened. And so I knew I was going to be a single mom from the beginning. My my son's father was like, have an abortion or we can't be together. Well, I don't believe in abortions and nothing against anyone who does. But that's just my personal, my personal situation. I knew what I was doing when I did what I did. And so I owned that. And I'm very much a person of ownership. Right. And so.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (15:37.907)
Hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (15:41.651)
Yeah.

Nicole Webb (15:48.722)
I said, okay, God, I'm pregnant, I'm having a baby, and I'm gonna trust you in this. And so I started going to church and I actually got saved a month before my son was born. It was a very hard moment. Sometimes when I talk about it with my church family, they're like, I'm so glad you didn't turn your back on the church. So people in my church, it was a very big church at Fort Bragg, now Fort Liberty.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (16:07.879)
Mmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (16:11.031)
Okay. Oh.

Nicole Webb (16:15.49)
They see my belly grow and I was always by myself, right? I was always by myself, always by myself. So my belly's growing, growing. April 21st of 2005, I say, yep, I'm gonna, okay, I'm feeling called, God, I hear you, right? And so I was like, I'm gonna do this. So I go down front and get prayed for and then they're like, go to a room in the back and somebody's gonna come talk to you about, you know, the choice you just made and kind of what that's gonna do for your life and all these different things. And I was like, okay, great. So I go back there.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (16:21.94)
Mm-hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (16:30.771)
So I was like, I'm gonna do this. So I go to my friends, get prayed for, and then they're like, go to a room in the back, and somebody's gonna come talk to you about, you know, choice you just made and kind of what that's gonna do for your life and all these different things. And I was like, okay, great. So I go back there.

Nicole Webb (16:45.238)
Pregnant as a house, mind you, I'm doing a month. And she's like, an older lady comes to me and she's like, ma'am, where's your husband? And I said, I don't have a husband. And she got up and she walked away from me and she did not return. So I sat in there for about 20 minutes.

And I'm like, I'm about to get up and just leave. I don't know what's supposed to be happening here. I'm feeling very uncomfortable. And so this gentleman comes in and he's like, ma'am, can I help you? And I was like, yeah, I just got saved down front. And they said, come sit in this room and someone would come talk to me. He's like, no one's been in here. And I was like, well, an older lady came in here. She asked where my husband was and I told her I didn't have one and she turned away from me and she never returned. And he said, I am so sorry for that happening to you. That should have never happened. It's not how this goes.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (17:11.209)
yeah

Treveal C.W. Lynch (17:21.959)
She turned away from me and she never returned. She said, I am so sorry.

Nicole Webb (17:29.59)
So we sat and we talked for about 20, 30 minutes about the decision I had just made. He was very apologetic for another human, which, you know, it's great when you get apologies from other humans, but it's not the same, right? And so that did make me feel a certain type of way for a period of time, because she certainly judged me in the church the day I got saved, because I was a single mom. She didn't know my story, she didn't know what happened, none of those things, nor did she care to find that out. And so that was like a very big pivotal moment in my relationship coming to Christ.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (17:36.814)
Yeah

Treveal C.W. Lynch (17:59.908)
Mm-hmm. And so. Mm-hmm.

Nicole Webb (18:00.158)
And so, and all of that continued with the army as a single mom. I had to leave my first son when he was four months old and deployed to Iraq. And so my first deployment was rough. So my dad, who mind you I told you was just a friend, insisted on keeping my son, although before my son was born he made a lot of very not great...

Treveal C.W. Lynch (18:20.607)
Hmm.

Nicole Webb (18:28.25)
remarks regarding my son's father and things like this. So I had to basically put him in his place and say, if you're going to continue to make comments like this, you will not ever see me again and you will never meet your grandson. So the moment he met his grandson, he melted. Like literally like melted. And so he asked while I was deployed, could he and my soon-to-be stepmom keep my son? And I was like, I don't know dad, you smoke, I don't want my kid around that stuff.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (18:31.711)
So I had to basically put him in his place and say, if you're going to continue to make comments like this, you will not ever see me again and you will never meet your grandson. So the moment he met his grandson, he melted. Like, literally, like...

Treveal C.W. Lynch (18:51.647)
Okay.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (18:57.972)
Thanks.

Nicole Webb (18:58.094)
And he's like, I'll stop smoking. I'm like, do what? And so he quit smoking cold turkey. And he'd been smoking since he was 12 years old. And so, yeah. So he and my soon-to-be stepmom. So my stepmom was supposed to get legally married. They had been together for years. But they were supposed to get legally married in May. So that would have been my son's first birthday. So that's when I was going to take my R&R leave to come home from my rec, so I could be there for my son's first birthday.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (19:06.863)
Wow.

Nicole Webb (19:27.686)
Well, that wasn't part of the plan. In January, while I'm talking to my dad about my son and just calling home to check in, my soon to be stepmom had some seizures. And so he had to get her to the hospital. So he wasn't really able to watch my son anymore. So the lady that took me in, when I did get kicked out of the zone, she took over my son. And the only way I got to come home from the army was because my dad and stepmom weren't married yet.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (19:34.259)
Check in. Right.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (19:38.815)
seizures. And so he had to get her to the hospital so he wasn't really able to watch my son anymore. The lady that took me in when I did get kicked out of the zone, she took over my son.

Nicole Webb (19:56.71)
was because she was on my documentation as my family care plan, which is the people who watch while you're deployed. Because I needed a new family care plan, that's the only reason I got to go home. I got home in January, and literally within 48 hours of me getting home, she passed away. That was very hard on everyone, her children, us, the situation with my son, just all the things.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (19:58.599)
as my family care plan, which is the people who watch, you know, while you're deployed. Right. Because I needed a new family care plan that's all I did when I got to go home. Wow. And I got home in January.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (20:12.703)
I spent 48 hours of me getting home, she passed away. Hmm. So that was very hard.

Nicole Webb (20:24.95)
The woman I call Mama Lynn, the lady who took me in when I got kicked down to the zone, her and my sister that I call my sister now, I've been in her life since she was seven, they took care of my kid while I was in Iraq the rest of the time, but my dad was, this was the best relationship he had ever been in. She was the most kindest, gentlest woman ever. And it was like amazing just to see his growth as a human, let alone a man and a father with her. And so after she left, he took it.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (20:34.845)
So they took care of my kid while I was in Iraq the rest of the time.

This was the best relationship he had ever been in. She was the most kindest, gentlest woman ever. And it was amazing just to see his growth as a human, alone a man and a mother. So after she left, he took it very, very hard. And he went to deep depression and being really bad.

Nicole Webb (20:53.63)
very, very hard. And he went to deep depression and drinking and really bad and just a lot of not great things. And just previous to the deployment, he lost his mom. And so that was the whole situation. So within six months, he lost his mom, which was my grandma, God rest her soul. She was an amazing woman. And then my stepmom, Jenny. So I didn't get to go home in May for my son's first birthday because I went home in January. And so I missed his first birthday, I missed.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (21:10.506)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (21:16.047)
for my son's first birthday because I went home in January. OK.

Nicole Webb (21:22.25)
I missed basically all of his firsts because 2003 technology wasn't the greatest. We did have Skype so I get to Skype in every once in a while but definitely not the same as being there with your child and watching them grow. Imagine being deployed, lots of things happening, some really big things happening back in 2003 for the mission set and just all kinds of things and then missing your child you never thought you were going to have, your mom you don't know how to be, you got taken away from your kid at four months old.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (21:23.611)
his first because 2003 technology wasn't the greatest. We did have Skype, so I guess I've been every once in a while. But definitely not the same as being there with your child and watching them grow. So imagine being deployed, lots of things happening, some really big things happening back in 2003. For the mission.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (21:50.76)
Wow.

Nicole Webb (21:51.658)
So you could serve your country and now you're missing out on the whole first year of their life. So so in Nicole, it was what kind of mom are you? Like, what kind of mom are you? You know, so a lot of a lot of mom guilt there and things to deal with. So I actually redeployed back to Germany because I was stationed in Germany. No, that was my first deployment. So this is 0506. I apologize for the date timeline.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (22:02.761)
Hmm. Mm-hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (22:10.179)
Okay.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (22:16.513)
Okay, okay, okay.

Nicole Webb (22:17.886)
So Jayden, this is my second deployment that I'm on with Jayden, but my first one as a mother. And so, 05, 06, I come back. What month did we get back? It was after his birthday. And yeah, a lot of big things had happened. And I was still at Fort Bragg. Now mind you, while I told you that my son's father had said abortion or we can't be together, that was very simple thing for me to choose.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (22:30.103)
after his birthday.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (22:44.08)
Right. Geez. Right.

Nicole Webb (22:48.558)
In that time, I had met my second son's father. And so he was super supportive, so I thought, and our story, so I thought was great. And in reality, it wasn't as great as I thought it was. And so I was being deceived to some degree, not that I don't hold my own responsibilities for accepting the things I accepted. But I came back, had my son, and I was off and on with the other individual, my second son's father.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (22:57.243)
Mmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (23:03.989)
Mm.

Nicole Webb (23:16.466)
back and forth through all of that, right? And in 2007, I got pregnant with my second son. And he did not want to have a child, but he did participate much more than the non-existent father. So I became a single mom of a two and a half year old and a newborn baby. And so life didn't go the way that I thought it was gonna go. And here I am. So now it's time for my now third deployment.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (23:18.195)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (23:33.607)
Yeah.

a two and a half year old and a newborn baby. Wow.

Nicole Webb (23:46.698)
And I had to leave my now newborn at three and a half months old because there was a training exercise I had to complete before I deployed for that deployment. And that 0809 deployment was my worst deployment of all three of them for lots of reasons. And in that deployment, God literally saved my life more than once in some very hard, hard situations. There is no other explanation. And so, yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (24:04.434)
Wow.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (24:09.252)
There is no other explanation. And so, yeah. So lots of kids. And so, yeah.

Nicole Webb (24:12.254)
Single mom, two kids, left one at four months, left one at three and a half months, but here we are. I have an 18 year old and a 16 year old, super resilient, God fearing, God seeking young men who are thriving in life and I couldn't be more proud and they love their mama and they love God and here we are on the other side of that, right? It was very, very hard to go through, but here we are, so.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (24:19.263)
Thanks for watching!

Treveal C.W. Lynch (24:27.455)
Yes, you're right.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (24:32.423)
Right, oh my goodness, wow, wow. I mean, yeah, oh my goodness. So much is stirring up in me because, for so many reasons, wow. Yeah, I mean, it puts it in perspective of how much we take for granted, how much, and I'm, you know, what they say, when you're pointing out.

pointing to someone else, you got like three to four fingers pointing back at yourself. Like I'm thinking for me, the stuff you can complain about, the stuff you can get irritated with. And to know that there are situations that will, and this is really my next question, but that there are situations that will put you in a position where you have to trust God.

Nicole Webb (25:06.7)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (25:31.891)
consciously trust God on a daily basis. Like it's one thing to wake up, oh, thank you Lord. You know, even today, I mean, I got up, you know, you do your thing, get up. Thank you Lord for this. Thank you Lord for that. Bless this, bless that. Thank you Lord, let's have a great day. But there are those that are, while you're doing that, and it's, you know, all calm on the front, you know, in someone else's life, it's, I'm...

trusting you to survive today.

Yeah, I can't even put that into words, but it just, that was powerful. That was, yeah, I'm gonna have to take that in. I'm gonna have to take that in Nicole, my goodness. And I'm holding back my little tears. Man, yeah.

Nicole Webb (26:22.45)
I tried to hold my back too, sorry if you guys heard a little.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (26:25.315)
Yeah, it's all right. But that's why we do this, because lives matter.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (26:36.091)
How did you continue, because I know I've had my moments where I've said, God, man, I know I believe, but you ain't around right now. This ain't happening on your watch, is it? God, you're really letting this happen. What was that like for you? How did your relationship with God?

How did you maintain it? What was he saying to you? What was he showing you? What were you saying to God? Like, take us through some of that in terms of how did you keep the faith? Because I know a lot of my listeners are Christian. I'm a man of faith. So, how did you keep the faith in a reality, in a world with such chaos and such pain? How did you keep thinking that God was real and God...

like loved you and like he was still present. How? How did you keep?

Nicole Webb (27:36.562)
I mean, so it wasn't easy. Again, lots and lots of challenges. That 0809 deployment, that one was the worst one. A lot of things happened that God just showed up so many times. And the only reason that there is 1000% no way that I would be sitting here if there wasn't God. There's no way.

But I know several times in my life that is the case, not only from that deployment, a few before and now even some after, right? And so knowing that there is no logical explanation, because as you know, the God we serve, He operates outside of what we can actually even interpret, right? Like, so He's bigger than us, way bigger than us. He's our creator. So like when we try to rationalize or think, how could this or why would this and all of these things,

Sometimes we just have to sit still and we have to say, I'm gonna be Nicole and you're God and I'm gonna let you be God. And when we do that, that was a big revelation for me last year when I went through my divorce after 10 years. Lots of not great things happened in that situation. Post-retirement, lots of big things. And so in a recent situation I'm currently going through right now. And sometimes I'm like,

Treveal C.W. Lynch (28:39.583)
Hmm.

Nicole Webb (29:01.418)
Lord, I've been through a lot. How much more do you want me to take? You know, like how much more can I take? But I know, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am not standing on my own strength, but I'm standing on God's. So I've just specifically over the past, about nine months, 12 months, I've grown so much closer to God in all.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (29:03.325)
How much more do you want me to take? Like how much more can I take? But I know, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I'm...

Treveal C.W. Lynch (29:14.999)
So I just specifically over the past about nine

Treveal C.W. Lynch (29:22.591)
closer to God in so many ways. Like I'm in my prayer corner, which is a sobering area. Right.

Nicole Webb (29:25.226)
in so many ways. Like I'm in my prayer corner, which is my war room area, and I'm on my knees, and I'm intercessing, and I wake up in the middle of the night, even last night. Like I wake up in the middle of the night and I just say, okay, Holy Spirit, just tell me who I'm supposed to be praying for right now. What am I supposed to be doing? And I'm going through my own personal situation right now. I just got out of, in a very surprising manner, five weeks ago, the best relationship I had ever been in my whole life. So I'm 41.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (29:36.051)
Okay, Holy Spirit, just tell me what am I supposed to be doing?

Treveal C.W. Lynch (29:48.636)
I have ever been in my whole life. So everyone, I truly thought I was coming out of the wilderness into the promised land.

Nicole Webb (29:51.474)
I truly thought I was coming out of the wilderness into the promised land. And out of the blue, the individual I was with who we talked marriage, we talked to baby, we talked all the things. So this was going to be my first opportunity, having a child with a man who actually wanted to have a kid and raise it together and be my husband and chase after God, because that was my number one boundary after my divorce. If you're not chasing after God, we can be friends, but that's it. Like I know.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (30:09.147)
together and be my husband and chase after God because that was my number one boundary. If you're not chasing after God, we can be friends, but that's it. I know my next husband has to chase after God with me, period. And so in that, he was doing that. And I watched his prayer life grow. He got saved with me. Just no much powerful stuff happened. And then...

Nicole Webb (30:19.57)
My next husband has to chase after God with me, period. Period. And so in that, he was doing that. And I watched his prayer life grow. He got saved with me. Just so much powerful stuff happened. And then he was a new believer. He got saved December 1st on one of our date nights. And within weeks, the enemy took him back to what his familiar was. Back to the life of, you know, the streets.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (30:35.783)
saved December 1st on one of our date nights. And within weeks, that enemy took him back to what his familiar was.

Nicole Webb (30:46.346)
the life of the world, what you're comfortable in, and things like that. And I went through a severe devastation because it came out of nowhere. So right now I still have lots and lots of conversations with God about why that would happen because I was in the best relationship I've ever been in. I was actually with a man who chased after God and I witnessed it with me. Now for that now five weeks ago to have just completely like disappeared. So.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (30:49.102)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (31:06.096)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (31:12.119)
disappear. So, did a lot of praying, did a lot of crying out, did a lot of things, right? And one thing I'd like to encourage everybody on, even when we feel lonely, we're never alone. Right? God is with us. God is with us. Right here, tattooed on my collarbone, Psalms 46.5. God is with him or she will not fail.

Nicole Webb (31:14.646)
Did a lot of praying, did a lot of crying out, did a lot of things, right? And one thing I'd like to encourage everybody on, even when we feel lonely, we're never alone, right? God is with us, God is with us. Right here, tattooed on my collarbone, Psalms 46.5, God is within her, she will not fail. I know that is true, like I know that is true. Some people love tattoos, some don't. I obviously love them, I got lots of things, and they glorify God, right? It's my stained glass window. And so...

Treveal C.W. Lynch (31:35.68)
When people love tattoos, they don't. I obviously love them. I already have tattoos. They glorify God. That's right. They make glass windows. Yep.

Nicole Webb (31:45.014)
I represent God in everything that I do. And so in that, lots of struggles, trying to understand in my human mind, in my heart, in my feelings, why this could or would happen. And if my only purpose in the entire situation was to bring him to God, to at least plant those seeds and get him to sacrifice, you know, to give his life to God, right? To make that choice on his own free will, then I'll take that as much pain as that caused me, right? Because we are here.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (32:00.311)
to sacrifice, you know, to give his life to God, right? And that choice on his own free will. That's right. Then I'll take that as much pain as that cost me, right? And if you are.

Nicole Webb (32:14.614)
to live our lives, yes, but our lives are testimonies for others. Like, just because I go through something doesn't mean it was to punish me. It doesn't mean it was, you know, anything along those lines. It was, okay, now Nicole's been through this, now she can give a testimony to the next person. Now she can give a testimony to the next person. And so, I do value that. Again, I'm still very much in the thick of it. Five weeks in.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (32:20.381)
Hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (32:26.674)
Mm-hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (32:40.745)
Yeah.

Nicole Webb (32:41.606)
But even in this most recent situation and even back in being a single mom, my deployments, making it home, the way my career went, just all these things, they're trivial. I know that there's no other logical explanation. If it wasn't for God, I would not be here. One scenario where I was deployed, I was supposed to be in an exact location.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (32:48.255)
Yeah.

Nicole Webb (33:05.514)
where there was a shooting where four people died, two civilians, two military. I was supposed to be there at that exact same time, but I wasn't. Why? Because I felt called to go to the chapel. So I went and talked to the chaplain. They were calling me to figure out where I'm at. And again, this is my roughest deployment. And at that exact same time, I was supposed to be there. Just so many different scenarios similar to that are like life changing and life affecting. Yeah. I've...

Treveal C.W. Lynch (33:09.081)
Oh my god. Oh my goodness.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (33:16.461)
Mmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (33:22.687)
Mm-hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (33:29.084)
different scenarios. Mm-hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (33:34.161)
Mm-hmm.

Nicole Webb (33:36.37)
I'm human. I have had situations and bouts of anger that maybe I didn't handle the most righteous manner. Through that situation, from that deployment, I wanted to inflict bodily harm on another individual. And I was moments from doing that because of what that person had did in this deployment, in this situation, hurting myself and many, many others. So I.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (33:38.332)
I have had, you know, situations and bouts of anger that maybe I didn't handle the most righteous manner-

Treveal C.W. Lynch (33:47.159)
I wanted to inflict bodily harm on another individual. And I was moments from doing that because of what that person had did in this deployment, in this situation. Hurting myself and many, many others. So I wanted to eliminate the direct assessor, we're trained to do it. And I highly consider...

Nicole Webb (34:03.142)
I wanted to eliminate the threat because that's what we're trained to do as soldiers, right? And I highly considered and was moments away from taking matters into my own hands and I literally put my head down and prayed like three times in a row. And I was within arm's reach of eliminating the threat. And God took control and said, no, Nicole. No, Nicole. So I, I.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (34:17.108)
I was within arm's reach of eliminating the threat.

Nicole Webb (34:28.174)
I stepped away from the situation and I'm glad that I didn't do it, right? I'm glad that I didn't take matters into my own hands, but it's just time and time again. Although I've grown a lot, like I said, in the past probably 12 months, my relationship with God has grown exponentially. Those moments, even back then when I wasn't as close with Him as I am, I'm just so grateful for them, even though there were so many challenges associated with each and every one of them.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (34:29.761)
Hmm. Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (34:41.47)
Hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (34:49.723)
Even though there were so many challenges associated with each and every one of them. And again, I sit here today because there is no logical explanation that could explain to you why I can even...

Nicole Webb (34:53.442)
And again, I sit here today because there is no logical explanation that could explain to you why I can even have this conversation with you. But God, period. And that I'm confident in.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (35:03.935)
and, wow. Wow, it's a butt, butt guy. Yeah, that's been a theme. Butt guy, right? That might be your next tattoo. If you don't already have it. Yeah, butt, butt guy. Cause you, we were maybe like a few minutes in and it was a butt guy. Wow, yeah, yeah. He's, God is like that. God is like that. Defining or defying logic and the odds.

Nicole Webb (35:10.545)
But God.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (35:33.319)
I forgot, I recently heard a quote, like a saying, if God is on your side, you're always in the majority or something like that. But basically it's the idea that you just can't lose with God.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (35:48.583)
During that time that you were, you know, you were trained to eliminate the threat. And from the outside looking in, my, you know, those who have not been in the military, through movies, media, conversations with those that are in the military, we form a perception of what the military is, what it involves.

My son's in the military, like I said earlier. You've obviously been in the military for a great deal of time. My wife and I, we have military family in our, you know, in our family line. And one common theme that I've always seen when having conversations with people in the military, and I give all due respect to that, I'm not trying to challenge that at all, is this idea.

that there are certain things we don't talk about. It's they train me or they shared X, Y, and Z information and I am not ever going to tell you, even if you're my closest, you know, I've got a step brother that we know has been around the world, let's just say, and there are some things he has never shared and I know he never will. He was a part of the whole 9-11 and he was...

you know, at ground zero, he's never shared with us anything about that moment. I'm sure you've gone through some things. I'm sure that my young son is starting to explore and be exposed to some things. My question is, is you said that you were trained, and that's one of the perceptions that we have. Military people are, you go into the military, they train you to do certain things, and you become this soldier, you become this person.

that's able to do things that us civilians, we don't really have the mindset to be able to do. So you were trained on how to take out the threat, and you said that you prayed. And what my question is is...

Treveal C.W. Lynch (38:03.763)
Though you were trained, though you were in a situation that you felt legitimately, hey man, this person has caused me harm, others harm, I'm legit in wanting to do X, Y, and Z, and I've been trained to execute on this thing, what was it that God, and you don't have to tell us everything, but maybe what was the summary or what was the essence of what God communicated to your heart?

that would override the training, override the disciplines, override the mindset to say, this person did this and I'm going to take these actions. In that prayer time, was there a theme or was there a revelation or was there an idea? Because the way I'm looking at it is, is that something overrode. There was an overriding of what you wanted to do, but God shares something else.

that became more powerful in that moment for you to make a better decision and to probably save yourself a lot of heartbreak and additional heartache by choosing to do what you instinctfully and what you had been trained to do. What was it that changed your heart?

Nicole Webb (39:20.843)
Stop!

So I mean, in this situation, obviously, not gonna give like super a lot of details because like you said, there are things. So veterans, we talk to veterans. So we can share things about life and experiences with each other. It's much harder to do with civilians, right? Number one, we feel like they're not gonna understand and they can't relate because they haven't been through similar situations and things like that. So I'm gonna go backwards just a little bit. So the situation with my recent heartbreak five weeks ago,

Treveal C.W. Lynch (39:28.467)
Totally, totally.

Nicole Webb (39:52.646)
with a man who was chasing after God with me, that is the only other human than my therapist that knows everything that happened on that deployment. So I felt safe for the first time in my entire life, entire life, I felt safe to be able to share. He's a veteran as well. And so that is also a piece of me that he took with him because I now allowed myself to feel safe with you and now I can't anymore. And so we do...

at some point find our people that we can share certain things with. So other people who went, you know, through the experience of ground zero on 9-11, your family member can share with them because they know where they're coming from, how they felt and different things like that. If they so choose, sometimes we hold it in and it kind of eats us alive. And the specific scenario that I spoke of, we're also not supposed to take matters into our own hands, right?

Treveal C.W. Lynch (40:46.555)
take matters into our own hands. Oh, OK. So we take off.

Nicole Webb (40:49.61)
So we take all commands from the tower. And in that specific situation, I was prepared to take matters into my own hands because I knew that would help a lot of people, not just me. Cause that individual was not a good human, did some very severe, intense, disgusting, inhumane things, and they affected more than just me, but they affected my life very greatly.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (41:01.479)
Mm-hmm.

Nicole Webb (41:18.278)
So in Nicole's mind, because I had been a soldier since I was 17, right? I'm a soldier for life. Eliminating the threat was a very real possibility. So God intervened only in that. I wasn't planning on putting my head down and praying, but I felt like I needed to put my head down and pray. I had what I needed out and ready to go to eliminate the threat, and I prayed again. And then I put that up.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (41:22.631)
Yeah, right.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (41:36.755)
Huh.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (41:40.287)
ready to go to eliminate the threats. And I prayed again. And then I put that up and I, basically my communication was no more. Hmm.

Nicole Webb (41:46.466)
And I basically my communication was nonical. Nonical. And so we don't always like being told no. Happens to be my first word. My first word was actually no. But God said nonical. So I put my weapon away and I rode the rest of that ride in Iraq with the enemy sitting within arms reach. And I continued.

doing what I was on mission to do, which was very, very hard, because the human in me really wanted to protect myself and my people, because survival mode, that's what people who come up like me, that's what we're in. I've literally been in it since I was three, but I shared with you guys since I was eight, as far as my mom leaving, but there was some significant stuff that happened to me when I was three, and should never happen to a child, and so since then, really.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (42:17.494)
Hmm.

Nicole Webb (42:42.906)
But from three to eight, I think life was kind of okay. And then after that life wasn't again, and hasn't been really since. There's been moments, right? God has blessed me beyond measure with my children and just with the people that aren't blood that are family. And with my dad actually in the situation I just spoke of that recently happened with my five weeks ago, ending of my heartbreak, my dad is now my dad. I had a dad for the first time in this situation in decades.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (42:51.231)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (43:09.235)
Hmm.

Nicole Webb (43:12.426)
Like he consoled me like a father should a daughter and things like that. So that's been very big in our relationship. So him to tell me he loves me more than he used to ever and just different things like that. So there's been a lot of growth in that. And like I said in the beginning, my dad operates on the other side of things, but he knows God is there and he knows, and he even said to me, Nicole, just trust your faith. Like trust your God. And that's big. That's big to come from my dad being my dad and who he is and where he comes from and the things that I know about my own dad.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (43:12.479)
Wow.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (43:15.827)
things like that. So that's been very big in our relationship. So he loves me more than he used to ever. And just different things like that. So there's been a lot of things in that. And like I said, in the beginning, you know, my dad operates on the other side of things. But he knows God is there. And he knows and he even said to me, Nicole, just trust your faith. Trust your God.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (43:41.535)
Yeah.

Nicole Webb (43:41.962)
So I see God working in his life too. And his health isn't the greatest and I've been praying for him for a very long time. And a few years back, he actually, Nikki, I need you to stop praying for me. I'm like, that's not gonna happen, you know, cause he was just ready to go. And that's not gonna happen. And so, just God has showed up in so many ways, sometimes expected, sometimes not expected. I don't know why a lot of the things have happened the way that they did, but I do know that each and every time I've gotten on the other side of them, there's been just a strong.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (43:48.063)
And a few years back, he actually, Nikki, I need you to stop praying for me. I'm like, that's not gonna happen. Yeah. Because he was just ready to go. Oh. And that's not gonna happen. And so, just God has showed up in so many ways, sometimes expected, sometimes not.

things have happened the way that they did. But I do know that each and every time I've gotten on the other side of them, there's been just a strong, like, there's been the ability to help someone else not have to do it the same way. You know, even if they just make the same decision.

Nicole Webb (44:11.346)
Like, there's been the ability to help someone else not have to do it the same way. Even if they don't choose to make the same decisions I made, to help them know that, hey, there's light at the other end of this thing, even though everything seems so dark right now. And just a few weeks ago, I was in a very, very dark place. But God, I'm telling you, like, it just made no logical sense, literally one night where...

Treveal C.W. Lynch (44:25.995)
you

Treveal C.W. Lynch (44:33.285)
But God.

Nicole Webb (44:37.878)
talking about the future, having a baby, talking about the wedding, and the very next day you walk out of our life and our everything. The enemy is real, spiritual warfare is real, and it can do some things. And so if the person, the other person isn't equipped, right, even though myself, men's group, everyone was like, no, you gotta put on your armor and fight, you gotta put on your armor and fight. Again, a new believer is not always equipped to do that, right, they're not always in the head space to be able to trust God in all of those things, so.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (44:50.75)
Hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (45:01.816)
Right. Nope.

Nicole Webb (45:06.938)
an addiction, right? Any kind of addiction. It takes a lot of things to get back away from that. So I am, I'm tired of surviving. So I'm trying to thrive in life. Like I've been in survival mode my, almost my whole life, right? So, so his, his comfortability in the world that he came from is very real. So he went back to what's comfortable. But, but.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (45:08.996)
That's right. Mm-hmm. That's right.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (45:20.905)
Hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (45:27.313)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (45:31.195)
Yep.

Nicole Webb (45:33.142)
But God showed him some things with me. And so if that was my only role in this, then great. And if it's not, and God has a future for us in the future, that's also great. Because unconditional love, the word love, that's something I've been, it's been, obviously Valentine's Day just happened, right? But that's like, that's a societal thing. That's nothing like, that's, and people misuse the word love so much. Love in the Bible is very, very different than the word love that comes out of people's mouth, right? And when I can sit here and tell the world, and I told the world,

Treveal C.W. Lynch (45:41.151)
so great because unconditional love, love is something I've been. Hmm. Obviously, Valentine's Day just happened. Right, right, right. Mm hmm. And people misuse the word love so much. Totally. Very, very different than the word love that comes up people's mouth. That's right.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (46:03.647)
Hmm

Nicole Webb (46:03.706)
I love this man unconditionally. There's nothing that changes my love for him, even what he did to me and the way he walked out and all of those things. And so, knowing that God's unconditional love for us, everybody doesn't love that way. They misuse the word love. And so, showing him this is true unconditional love. God, our Father, loves us unconditionally. And we are to be His hands and feet. And we are to do things.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (46:10.083)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (46:17.992)
Hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (46:28.535)
hands and feet and we are to do things as Christ-like as possible we are to strive every day to be as much like as we can right that's right that should be our goal when we wake up in the morning Lord use me as your hands and feet believe and I will follow yes so loving this man unconditionally has caused me a lot of pain a lot of yeah

Nicole Webb (46:30.45)
as Christ-like as possible. We are to strive every day to be as much like Jesus as we can, right? Every day, that should be our goal. When we wake up in the morning, Lord, use me as your hands and feet. You lead and I will follow. And that's what I say very consistently. So loving this man unconditionally has caused me a lot of pain, a lot of human pain, right? But I know I'm doing what God has called me to do. And I'm walking with grace through this entire situation. I haven't called him out of his name. I haven't...

Like none of those things, I'm not gonna act of the world in this situation. And either these things that I show him are going to be seeds planted to help him to want to turn back to God, or they're not. But we can't make that decision for the people that we love, right? He's got to choose that for himself. And so that's the hardest part, right? Like, I can't save you, nor do I want to be your savior, but I can show you who the savior is, and this is what he's done for me. So.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (46:59.583)
Right.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (47:03.995)
And either these things that I show him, are going to be seeds planted to help him want to turn back the grass, or they're not. But we can't make that decision for the people that we love, right? And so that's the hardest part, right? Like, I can't save you, nor do I want to be your savior.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (47:27.875)
That's right. That testimony that you talked about earlier. That's right. Our job is simple, but yet hard. Just because something's simple doesn't mean that it's not hard. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. You know, your desire, which, you know, I'm watching a theme in everything that you share and it always, and I don't know sometimes as you're sharing if you're hearing yourself or if you're picking up on it, but your desire to be God's hands and feet.

Nicole Webb (47:35.923)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (47:58.695)
It's almost as if, and I want to be careful with how I say it, and I hope that you and that the listeners hear what I'm trying to convey. Because sometimes we don't have the right words, but it's just kind of in our hearts. Your unyielding desire to be used to God's glory, it's so authentic, it's so genuine that it—

almost feels like you have to, in a sense, suffer in ways like Christ. And again, I'm trying to be so careful with what I'm saying, but it's like when you read the Scriptures, Jesus was a man that knew suffering. Like, he experienced every kind of

heartbreaking, heart-wrenching, heart-ripping experience that we do. And then the cross. The cross is a separate experience. The loss of people, the betrayal, the hatred, the… I mean, you know the Scriptures. And so it's almost like your deep passion to be as Christ, like…

qualifies you on one hand to suffer as him, yet to be upheld as him. It's so honorable. It's so beautiful and so humbling to witness. So I just thank you for sharing and I just thank you for being that God chaser that you talked about earlier. Chasing.

And that's a standard, Nicole. That's a standard. I was just watching like a Tony Robbins video the other day and he was talking something about motivation and stuff, but he put the word standard. It's like what you will not stand for and what you will stand for. And I forgot what he was tying it into, but he was basically saying, you have to up your standards.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (50:21.523)
for this particular context. But what I'm hearing you say is you have a standard in Christ and a standard in your life that, you know, a lot of people are not ready or willing to sign up for because of what comes with it. But it's still worthy and worthwhile. It's still an honorable and a much needed pursuit, you know? So it's not to discourage you, but it's to encourage you.

And I hope and pray that as you've shared and anything else that you'll share today, that that's what will be the result, or at least a part of it, is that we would walk away inspired to be the hands and the feet, because we see that it's possible. And we know now someone who is still waking up each day saying, but God. So thank you for that.

Thank you for that. We're getting around the time that we wanna start to kind of wrap it up. I wanna give the floor back to you again, because again, I've talked enough here. Where is Nicole? Where is Nicole in terms of what you think, what you know, what you anticipate as your next stage in life? What are you looking forward to? What are you looking forward to working on?

working through anything that you want to share with the audience to say, you know, this is my opportunity to share something with someone to those that are listening, literally around the world. I have listeners literally around the world, not just the United States, but for those that are listening, those that are watching, what would you say to them? What would you share with them? Yeah, the floor is yours. Anything that just comes front of mind for you.

Nicole Webb (52:23.038)
So for me, where am I? I mean, currently I'm going to continue in this season of my life to work for the nonprofit I work for and continue doing the job that I do serving, you know, veterans and helping them through all life's challenges. And that's great. And that is the season that I'm in right now. And I do feel that that's where I'm supposed to be and what I'm supposed to be doing. And that will continue at least until my youngest graduates high school. And then

Treveal C.W. Lynch (52:32.306)
Okay.

Nicole Webb (52:52.062)
You know, I'm going to continue to just trust God in where am I supposed to go next? What am I supposed to do? Where do you want me? I've always dreamed of going on a mission trip after my retirement. When you're in, it's not always the easiest thing to do for different reasons. But now I can do that. And missions don't have to be overseas. Obviously, I'm all about going overseas and doing that too. But I would literally pick up.

If my son graduated high school today, I would literally, if God said tomorrow, I need you to go to wherever, right? Zimbabwe and go on this mission trip. Okay, where am I going? What am I doing? What do you need me to do? And that's the mission I'm gonna execute. And whenever I come home is when I come home and that is that, and I'm in the position of life to do that. Now I am hopeful, full transparency, to not have to continue to do that by myself. I don't know whether it's God's plan to...

Treveal C.W. Lynch (53:25.628)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (53:30.171)
Yes.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (53:35.755)
I'm not in the position in life to do that. Now I am hopeful, full transparency, to not have to continue to do that by myself. Yeah.

Nicole Webb (53:46.87)
to repair what has just happened and that individual to give his life over to God and chase after what God has for him. And that's my future and that's my husband and we'll do kingdom work that way together. And if it's not him, then whoever it is, if I'm supposed to do that kingdom work with someone else, then I will. And then if I'm supposed to just do it by myself, with God's help of course, at the forefront of it all, then I'll do that as well. And so that's just kind of where I'm at with that.

God has always given me one of my talents, if you will, one of my gifts is writing. And so even as a young girl, that's always been something that I've done, both poetry and short stories and all the things. So many years ago, it was planted in me to write some books. And so before what just happened, I had three books in mind and how I was gonna do it. And now after this travesty, I just experienced this tribulation, if you will.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (54:18.919)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (54:31.811)
Okay, cool.

Nicole Webb (54:44.322)
Definitely there's a fourth book coming just from that scenario because what I went through a lot of people can relate to. I see it all over social media, a lot of things like that. Maybe not the social media perspective hasn't really shown on the spiritual warfare aspect of it because that's certainly what it is. Like that has been revealed to me. But I can use the things that the people of the world have seen and also bring God into it and glorify it, right? Like this is where we're at, this is what happened, and this is what we're doing.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (54:52.036)
on social media, a lot of things like that. Maybe not.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (55:00.301)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (55:10.899)
Mm-hmm.

Nicole Webb (55:14.118)
And so actually he got me a laptop for Christmas so I could start writing my books again. And so that was the thing that I was gonna get started. So there will be some books in the future. I don't know how far out in the future that's gonna be. Obviously it's great that you're an author. So I'll be picking your brain about that as well a little bit once I get more pen to paper. Getting through really hard parts of my story.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (55:19.191)
Okay.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (55:26.767)
Cool. All right. Yeah. Please, anytime. Yeah.

Nicole Webb (55:41.706)
What happened to me when I was three years old, little girl, my innocence was stolen and it wasn't, it wasn't anyone's to take from me, but they did. And so getting through that part of the story was really, really hard. And it gave me like a writer's block for many years. So after I finally got that to paper, like last year, I just paused because my kid was going to college. I'm single mom again. I had to give him my laptop so he could use it for his engineering program. And I was like, well.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (55:57.253)
That's right.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (56:05.823)
Okay.

Nicole Webb (56:07.37)
You know, again, a sacrifice, right? Like we gotta do what we gotta do to take care of those that we love. So I didn't have a laptop anymore, so I was like, well, I guess I'm not supposed to write anymore. So now I don't have any excuses. I have a laptop I just got for Christmas and I'm definitely going to start delving into getting my thoughts, my books, my experience to paper and then seeing where that kind of takes me. So in the future, the bits and pieces you heard of my testimony will be in much more detail with the things that I.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (56:10.165)
That's right.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (56:29.468)
Yeah, all right. Cool. Mm.

Nicole Webb (56:36.542)
obviously can share, you know, for the world to read and to see, you know, God's grace through trials and tribulations. Like, that's, yeah, it's going to be good, it's going to be powerful. Just in conversation, you know, with the people that God has placed into my life when I say, you know, Lord, give me the words to say. It's like things to be out of my mouth. I'm like, oh, I didn't know that was coming up, but okay, great, you know? And so just being, you know, a total...

Treveal C.W. Lynch (56:43.767)
Mm-hmm.

Nicole Webb (57:05.898)
give total surrender and just allow him to use us the way that he needs to use us in whatever capacity that looks like. It's not an easy feat by any means. There's a lot of challenges that come with that, especially being a human, right? Like it's like, man, my heart hurts. Man, my brain hurts. Like how could this happen? Why did this happen? You know, all of these things, but we can have an inquisitive human mind asked to why, but questioning the why, that's like...

Treveal C.W. Lynch (57:18.165)
Oh, yes, absolutely. Yes.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (57:29.184)
No.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (57:32.7)
Yeah.

Nicole Webb (57:32.734)
We just have to trust God and sometimes that's the hardest part to do. So when you can get on your knees and surrender and say, all right, God, I trust you. I know you have something in front of me, right? Like that it exponentially moves mountains for you. God is moving those mountains you didn't even necessarily see, right? They maybe you didn't even see them, but they're there. And he's moving them out the way so that you can do what it is he needs you to do here on Earth. And so.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (57:36.847)
Yep.

That's right. Yes, that's right. That's right.

Nicole Webb (57:59.478)
That's what Nicole's gonna continue to do. I'm gonna continue to strive to do it his way to the best of my ability, right? With his strength, not mine. And I'm gonna continue to grow out of survival mode because that's the kind of season I'm in. I'm back to self-love and self-care. I didn't get away from it necessarily when I was with the relationship that just ended. But I did realize...

Treveal C.W. Lynch (58:05.474)
Yes.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (58:09.738)
Thank you.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (58:18.317)
I didn't get away from it necessarily. When I was with my, you know, the relationship that...

Nicole Webb (58:27.57)
that I was loving him so well and not loving myself as well. So we have to get to a point where we can love ourself like God loves us, like the unconditional love I give to others that I've given to everyone I've ever loved, right, because that's what love actually is. I need to love myself unconditionally too. And the enemy does try to creep in certainly and make us think those thoughts, because initially when he just walked out the door, it's like, I'm a...

Treveal C.W. Lynch (58:33.715)
get to a point where we can love ourselves like God loves us. Like, the unconditional love I give to others that I've given to everyone I've ever loved, right? Because that's what love actually is.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (58:50.052)
Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Nicole Webb (58:54.19)
I'm unlovable, I'm not chosen, I'm not worthy, I'm, you know, all of these things, but that's the enemy, you know, trying to get us convinced, you know, that hey, this is the direction you should go, these are the thoughts you should have, these are the things you should do, but God, period, like, but God and period, like, he will get us through every single time, no matter how hard it is, no matter how many nights we cry, no matter all of it, he's there.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (58:57.37)
Mmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (59:10.651)
Yeah. Bud God. Hmm.

Nicole Webb (59:23.114)
We may feel lonely, but he can give us this peace that's so unexplainable. And I'm currently experiencing that right now. Like there's still some hard days, absolutely. Again, only five weeks in right now, but yeah, that we're never alone. And just knowing and acknowledging that, it provides this sense of peace and comfort that can't be explained.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (59:29.787)
Wow. Oh yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (59:35.367)
that we're never alone.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (59:45.82)
Wow, wow, wow. I'm over here, I don't know if you're picking up on it. Cause sometimes, you know, obviously we're recording this and so you can always go back and watch it, but sometimes things are hitting so home. I always keep a little pen and a pad over here and I can like kind of like scribble because some things I need right now. And you were saying some things I need today.

Because you know, once we're done recording, you know, you got the you got things that you need to do throughout the day But I need to I need that now and I was just scribbling some things down some mountains moved Wow Wow, you said a lot of things that I want to just go back through really quickly just to highlight and just let you know That I am in prayer with you and for you Partnering with you. That's one of the joys that I get to do

As you were saying about the story earlier, you told Pops, you don't get to tell me not to pray. And that's what I love about prayer, Nicole, is that no one has to give you permission and no one can stop you. So I'm going to be praying for you about continuing in your veteran service. I've already witnessed some of that firsthand, but I want to continue to pray for you on that, your missions trip. Looking forward to hearing you say, hey, I'm shipping off to so-and-so.

When that comes to pass, future relationships, whatever that looks like, whatever the Lord has for you in terms of chasing God with a spouse, and then these four books that are stirring up and that will emerge forth from you. And I am definitely here to help you in any way I can when it comes to that. I even got some resources if you choose the self-publishing route.

that I can share with you that's gonna free you up financially that you wouldn't even have to pay for normally you have to pay for them but I was blessed enough to purchase a bulk of these particular assets that have to go with self-publishing and so I would love to share those with you and just to save you some dollars along that along that path something else really this is just me take it for what it's worth take it for what it's worth

Treveal C.W. Lynch (01:02:08.231)
And I can definitely email these things to you as well. But as you were talking, because I consider myself a visionary voice to the world, right, I'm always thinking about the possibilities, what could happen next, what could happen next. So as you were talking, just some titles started popping up for me. Number one, if you haven't started to name these books and put some titles to them, because one thing I've learned when I was writing is that I start with the title, because that title continues to inspire me

to get to the finish line. It's like, man, I named it this because that thing matters so much that I gotta finish. So I heard the title, But God, that's the first one, But God, I don't know if you would consider that. I also heard, oh, But God, God's grace, God's grace through the trials and the tribulations. I heard growing from survival mode, that's some kind of play with some of that.

And then mountains moved, just kind of heard some of that. So anyway, I was just doodling and just thinking and just vision casting with you because you got me all excited about what's next because God's not done with you and God certainly didn't bring you through all that he's brought you through to drop you off here. All of that was a investment in the contribution that you were created to be in this world. So I'm more excited than I've ever been.

to continue our friendship, our relationship in whatever capacity that looks like and just to be a support and to be a cheerleader, to be someone in your corner and to be a prayer partner with you. So I would be honored to be that. I appreciate that. Yeah, thank you so, so much. All right, so we are at our time. Thank you so, so much for being so transparent, so open, for being such a light in dark places.

Nicole Webb (01:03:49.662)
and definitely appreciate that.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (01:04:03.651)
And just for the military also, I didn't want to kind of forget that you have, you know, whenever we write or create, we usually have like a niche community or a group of people that can really benefit from what we're doing. And so I just thank God that you're so connected and so vested in the military because I know that these books and these testimonies, and I pray even that this podcast recording

would reach those in the military and would be a place of encouragement, a place of inspiration, a place of therapy to help someone to make it through one more day and to keep their heads up as they're going through what they're going through. So any last words before we wrap it up? Yeah, thank you so much. Any last words before we wrap it up?

Nicole Webb (01:04:51.634)
Amen.

Nicole Webb (01:04:57.134)
Just thanks for having me. Thanks for letting me share and yeah, I'm excited to see what the future holds and what God's gonna use me to do and Hopefully, you know we reconnect in the in the future regarding, you know, what's the progress on all the things? Love the titles that you're pulling out. We'll talk offline about that a little bit But yes, some of that is already part of part of it to you. I've already like yeah so I'm super excited and thank you for offering to support in

Treveal C.W. Lynch (01:05:11.727)
Yeah. Sure, yes.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (01:05:19.867)
All right.

Nicole Webb (01:05:25.518)
with the self-publishing, because I've definitely considered that as well. So I just thank you for your friendship and yes, I'm so grateful that you help with our veteran community and how you help for our huddles and things like that. Discovering the direction of their life is super powerful. I love that you created that just for them and that you're adapting it and you're doing all these great things. So we just appreciate you too, the veterans on my side of the house. So just yeah, thanks for the friendship.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (01:05:27.787)
Oh, yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (01:05:50.024)
Thank you.

Nicole Webb (01:05:54.834)
our continued relationship working together. And I definitely appreciate the prayers. And yeah, thank you for having me today.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (01:05:58.143)
Thanks for watching!

Treveal C.W. Lynch (01:06:02.019)
Awesome. Thank you. Thank you so much. All right, ladies and gentlemen, that has been a another episode another Experience of the I am the possible podcast experience the place where possibilities become Perspective I want to thank you guys so much for sharing in this moment for plugging in To this space and to this place of inspiration motivation

edification, regulation, and elevation of your life. I hope and pray that these stories, these examples, everything that Nicole has shared today, that it has been a blessing to you, a encouragement to you, and I encourage you to share. Share this out with individuals that may be going through the hard seasons, the hard times of life. There's so much suffering in our world, and one of the blessings that we get to be is

Someone or something that can encourage someone to get them through another day So you never know the bridge that you can literally be by simply sharing out content like this not just mine, but any positive content that's going to Call someone to think better about themselves and about their lives So thank you so much for all that you guys are to me and to this platform Until next time let's continue to regulate

Let's continue to elevate. God bless you.