The REAL Reason you feel stuck: 4 FACTS you must know!

Feeling stuck and overwhelmed by a big decision? In this episode of the I Am The Possible Podcast Experience, Treveal helps you uncover the real reason you can’t pull the trigger—and shares 4 facts you MUST know and understand when it's time to decide! 

Get ready to shift from “paralysis by analysis” to clarity, confidence and finally, a choice!

👇 **What You’ll Learn**

* How to be honest with yourself: Are you really unsure… or just afraid?
* How caring too much about others can become a life paralyzing trap
* The power of shifting your focus from the “outcome” to the “in-go"
* 4 rock-solid reasons to give yourself the green light right, NOW!

✨ Are you tired of where you are?

✨Are you tired of trying your best to do better in life but feeling like there’s something you can’t quite figure out what that thing is thets holding you back? 

You’re one conversation away from clarity!

Schedule your 🆓 Clarity Call today!
👇
https://bit.ly/claritycallwithtreveal

Transcript

Treveal C.W. Lynch (00:01)
There's a decision that I need to make and I don't know what to do. I've been thinking about it, I've been stressing about it, I've been going back and forth, I've been considering every option and I just don't know what to do. The stress is building, the pressure is building, the confusion is starting to build. I'm just stuck.

How am I going to get through this one?

How am I ever gonna make this decision?

Is that you today?

Does that sound like the inner talk?

that inner chatter, that inner dialogue, or at least something like it. Well, if it is, in today's episode of the I Am The Possible podcast experience, we're gonna be addressing the root to your resistance, the real reason it's so difficult for you to make that decision. So if that's you, I wanna welcome you to lean in.

and to get ready to learn what's holding you back and why you should be able to move forward with just a few tweaks, a little clarity. Ready?

Come on in. Welcome to the I Am The Possible podcast experience. The place where

Possibilities become perspective. Guys, welcome once again into this space and into this place. I am your host, Treveal C. W. Lynch. Mr. What What. And in this space and in this place, we specialize in giving perspectives on life that give life to what's possible in life.

And today we're going to be talking about the possibility, what makes it possible for you to finally make that decision and to begin to move forward. So let's just dive right on in. The first thing guys that I want to do, the first way I want to kick this off is I want to ask you a question. You guys know I've taught many times and I'll continue to teach about the power of questions, the mind being hardwired.

in such a way that when you ask it questions, it looks for, seeks and finds and delivers back to you answers. So be careful what you ask yourself because you will give yourself an answer. So only ask yourself questions that you really want the answer to. So today I want to ask you a question.

Is it that you really don't know what to do? Or is it that you do know what to do? You're just afraid to do.

Sometimes it's not that we don't know what to do. Sometimes we're simply afraid to do it. More specifically, the reason that we're afraid to do it is not because we're a coward. It's actually because of something that is a good quality, an honorable quality.

Kudos to you because if it's a fear to simply do it, more times than not, it's because you actually care about how it's going to impact others. Think about it. Most of us, whenever there is a decision to be made, we project, we think about the out.

If I do this, then I anticipate, I expect, I project that he is going to respond this way. She is going to respond that way. They are going to receive what I did this way. They are going to receive what I did that way. The mind goes into chaos and confusion because it just cannot stand.

the projection of how your decision is going to influence and impact others. So actually, let me give you a round of applause. You have a great heart. You actually have a conscious. You actually care about what other people think and feel. And that can be healthy, but it can also become unhealthy.

Like in my case, when it turns into people pleasing, when it turns into this chronic need to do for others because you fear that you in and of yourself as you are, including your decision-making, isn't enough. It's not good enough. It's not acceptable. It's not valid. Right? And so like in my case, you know,

When I was growing up, and this may be your story as well, we are often trained to not trust in our own value, to not trust in our own inherent worth, to not trust that we are good enough. Life bullies us. Life torments us. Life takes us through series of micro traumas and major traumas, things people have done to us and said to us that have actually taught us, convinced us.

that we in and of ourselves are not good enough. Therefore, in order to fit in and to be good enough, in order to be accepted and to be acceptable in the eyes of others, we need to do something. We need to alter who we are. We need to change how we are. We need to conform. We need to comply. We need to do something to ourselves so that we become something that is acceptable in the eyes.

of others. And as a child, cognitively, we were not able to distinguish, to really pinpoint the fact that you're lying to me, life. You're lying to me, uncle. You're lying to me, auntie. You're lying to me, brother. You're lying to me, sister. You're lying to me, mom. You're lying to me, dad. I am good enough and I am acceptable. It's you and your issues.

but you're projecting on me your own brokenness and your own insecurities and you're doing things and saying things to me that make me feel some type of way. But honestly, it's you because it's been trickled down through the generations. But as a child, we don't have the cognitive skillsets. We haven't developed enough to be able to discern, this isn't a me problem, it's a they problem, but I'm too small and...

to immature to actually separate the two. So I'm going to go with what I feel. And what I feel when they said that, what I feel when they did that is I'm not good enough. They didn't maybe say the words, but that's what was communicated to me. I felt that way, right? And so as an adult, many times bigger body, but we're still living as the child.

And so many times we grow up and it's time for us to make big boy decisions or big girl decisions. And yet we're still attempting to make those decisions as an adult acknowledged by society because of our age. But on the inside where the decisions are being made, we're still a child. So we're making childish or childlike decisions, but the world

sees us as an adult. And so when we make the decision or we have the inability to make a quality decision, we're judged and criticized and the cycle continues.

See how that works.

So maybe, maybe you know what to do. Because instinctfully, right, you know what to do. Perhaps the minute that decision was presented to you, situation, problem, I need to make a decision. As soon as it came your way, perhaps you already knew what to do. It came to you instantly, like it does for me. It just springs up, boom, it's there. But then we talk ourselves out of it. Why? Because we begin to look at the outcome.

If I do that, they're not going to be happy with me. If I do that, they're not going to be pleased with me. If I do that, they're going to punish me. If I do that, they're going to stop being my friend. If I do that, they're not going to hang around me anymore. If I do that, I'm going to lose this. I'm going to lose that. We're projecting, we're anticipating, we're writing a story and we're like pushing it out into the future and the future hasn't even happened yet. But now we're in this moment frozen.

Right? What they say, paralysis by analysis. We're like all locked up and frozen, not being able to make a quality decision because we're looking at what might happen or what could happen. And it's limiting our ability to make that decision, to be confident in that decision and to really own our ability to make this decision. So today, I've...

I've got some notes I want to teach a little bit today. All right. So I'm gonna put my glasses on if you're watching on the tube and you should be watching on the tube. And if you haven't subscribed to this podcast on YouTube, please head over to YouTube and type in, am the possible look me up. I am the possible podcast right there on YouTube. Please subscribe, hit that notification bell so that you get all the notifications.

that come out each and every week when I drop new content. Please do that for your boy, please do that. All right, so let's get into this, man. Let me give you some solutions. First thing is first. All right, you know I love wordplay, right? I love getting into the words, I love breaking down words. So this came to me, this was a revelation. All right, let me give you this revelation. ⁓ So you know how we are always looking at the outcome, right? The word outcome, it's something

like out there, something separate from us coming our way. If I make this decision, because the issue that you're dealing with is not really the inability to like know what to do. Instinctfully, you have an inner compass that has probably already given you the answer. You know what to do. The logical thing is the best thing to do in this situation is probably the thing that has already come to you. But if this is

You know, what's true for you, what you're really dealing with the root cause to your resistance, the real reason that you're not making the decision. The real reason that you're not, you know, really moving forward is not because you don't know what to do is because you're afraid to do what you know to do because you're afraid of how it's going to impact other people. All right. So we've got that laid out. So it's this outcome. If I do this, then out there, them people, life, whatever it is, they're going to send something my way. So it's out there.

Stuff out there, it's gonna come my way. I'm gonna suffer. I'm gonna feel some negative impact. I'm gonna feel some negative energy. I'm gonna be negatively impacted in some way. Something out there is gonna come my way. That's an outcome. And we fear those. We fear the worst. We're wired in our society to fear the worst. I won't go.

down that tangent, I won't go down that road, that's another show for another time, but we fear the outcome. Here's what I want you to do, and this is the revelation God gave me when I was thinking about this. Instead of fearing the outcome, I want you to focus on the in-going.

not the out come, but the in going, the in go of the in you know, right? That was pretty smooth, right? Focus on what's inside going out, giving that instinct, giving that Holy Spirit, giving that ⁓ intuition, giving that inner knower.

giving that whatever you name it, right? That anchor, that inner compass, that inner light, whatever little name you gave it, ⁓ that North Star, whatever name you gave it, that little voice on the inside that gives you what you know you need to do. You want to give that the green light. Stop.

Defearing the outcome start focusing on the in go and You may say wow, those smooth little wordplay or wow that makes a lot of sense But yeah, I'm still scared. Okay Let me let me let me preference the four things that I'm about to share with you because I got four reasons To give yourself the green light But at the end of the day

I can't make you do anything. At the end of the day, the best I can do, the best anybody can do, the best therapists in the world, the greatest gurus, all the Tony Robbins and all these other guys you see on television, YouTube, whatever, the best they can do is provide you the information you need to take the proper steps. But at the end of the day, it's going to come down to, you hurting enough?

Are you not happy enough? Are you not satisfied enough? Is your current state, is your current situation, is your current circumstances, you know, where you are in life? Are you tired enough? Because if you're struggling with this decision, you've probably struggled with other decisions. So it's just a matter of, listen, when are you gonna get tired of being the little child in a big body?

When are you gonna get tired of this? Right? Because at the end of the day, it's just about you making a decision for yourself. This is time to make a decision for you. This is learning how to value you. The world has taught you through lies. They've deceived you. They deceived me. When I was fat and overweight, stuttering, didn't have a mom.

didn't have a dad in the home at the time. Mom was on drugs. I'm being abused. I'm being bullied and picked on. I'm being cheated on, backstabbed. Life is just running me through the wringer. ⁓ All of my testimony, all of my story, right? All of that stuff, was trying to teach me the lesson called you.

should not be trusted. You shouldn't trust yourself. You shouldn't value yourself. You shouldn't take yourself serious because you are life's ragdoll, right? I was on a podcast interview the other day and I was letting them know that sometimes when I do a speaking engagement or preach, I take the little raggedy and doll with me and I show them like, this is what life made me feel like, like a ragdoll, just throwing me all around, man. Like, it was like life was saying,

Our MO is to make Travail feel as low as possible, like total crap. Make him just completely detach and disassociate himself from himself. That's what it felt like for me. And so I know a little something about being beat down by life and coming to a point where you don't trust yourself or value yourself.

which trickles into your decision-making. You don't trust your decisions. You don't value your decisions. You put everyone else before you. And that's why I said earlier, it could be healthy, like consideration of others, but then it comes to a point, like for me, where it becomes chronic and it becomes a disease where I have to try to please other people and I sacrifice myself. But I've come to a point in my life

At 48, I've come to a point in my life where I can't take that anymore. I can't do that anymore. My voice has to matter. What I desire has to matter. What I decide on has to matter. If it's not gonna matter to anyone else, it's gonna matter to me. If it's not gonna matter to anybody else, it's going to matter to me. It starts with me. What I desire has to matter to me. What I see has to matter to me. What matters to me?

has to start to matter to me because if I'm waiting for it to matter to anybody else, I might be waiting until Jesus comes. I need to start now because I don't know how long I have. I don't know if tomorrow I'll be here. We say live like there is no tomorrow. We say that tomorrow is not promised, but many of us, don't live like it. And I'm tired of not living like it. And maybe you're tired of not living like it.

So at some point, what matters to you has to matter to you. Okay? All right, so man, I just got on my whatever that was, right? Somebody needed to hear it. So let me give you these four reasons why you should give yourself the green light. All right? Put my glasses on here so I can remember what I'm saying. So my four reasons here, let me put my glasses on. All right. All right.

So got my four reasons. Here we go. Number one, people are too busy to really care. That's the first thing. We'd be like, no, I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna make the decision because, you know, I'm worrying about what they're gonna think about me. I'm worried about what they're gonna say, you know, to me. And the truth is, ⁓ yeah, people are extremely busy. I don't know if you've noticed, but people ain't really checking for you like that.

even your closest friends, even your loved ones, it's like, go ahead and make that decision because half of them ain't really all that worried about it anyway. And those that do worry about it, they gonna be distracted by something else in like five minutes. So listen, you're worrying too much. People are way too busy to really care. ⁓ And that's not to say that they don't care about you.

but you're making this decision so big in your own mind. I promise you it's not as big as that in their mind. Number two, people bounce back and move on very quickly in this world. I don't know if you noticed it, but people are resilient. People have been through some tragedies this year, some very, very horrible, horrible things. We all went through COVID, right? Those of us who survived COVID, I mean, and we all bounced back. So trust the resilience of others.

Don't think that your decision is so big that it's just gonna destroy someone's life. ⁓ either way you go, whatever decision you make, trust and believe people are gonna bounce back pretty fast. Number three, people can't be pleased. I know you've heard that one before, right? But the truth is you can't please them anyway. Some are gonna be happy with whatever decision you make. The other half are not gonna be happy with whatever decision you make. It doesn't matter what decision you make.

You will please some and you will disappoint others. So again, when is what you think matters gonna start to matter to you? All right, so you can't please them anyway. So might as well do you, And ⁓ then the last one, right? I'm kind of burning through these pretty fast, but they're just pretty, you know, it's like, yep, yep. Sometimes you just need to like hear these things and it just clicks.

Like the light bulb comes on, right? But obviously you can always go back, replay this, listen to each one and meditate on it, think on it, contemplate on it. You're right. But I'm not going to like expound on this and just make it a super long episode. I'm just going to just burn through them. the last one, people can't repay you enough for the sacrifice. And what I mean by this is take it from a people pleaser. Many times the psychology is

I'm going to go out of my way. I'm going to continue to bend so that others don't break. I'm going to continue to go above and beyond for others. In other words, I'm going to make this decision with them in mind. Here's the problem. You're going to make that decision with them in mind, and then you're going to expect, right, whether you're conscious to it or not, you're going to expect some sort of payback. You're going to expect them to thank you a lot or give you a hug and a kiss or send you a gift or

just give you so many kudos for choosing to do the right thing for them. ⁓ And no, it's not, it's not going to happen. No, no, no, no. Why? Because of the first three. Number one, they're too busy. So they're going to like appreciate it, but then they're going to move on. And then the bounce back is like people just move on. Life is fast. They're just going to continue to push, push forward. And then you couldn't please them anyway. So your efforts and you're looking for some sort of payback, it's, it's not happening.

They're not going to pay you back enough. It's never going to be satisfying enough. I've played that game for so many years. They're never going to pay you back enough to satisfy what you believe you've sacrificed. They're going to kiss you and hug you and thank you and rah rah. But at the end of the day, you're going to go somewhere and be off to yourself and you're going to still be disappointed. You're going to still be less than satisfied because

You need so much validation. You need so much gravitas. You need so much celebration. You need so much, you know, pom-poms and people just ain't gonna give it to you. That's the truth.

So, let me end with this. A lot of what I said, this is not new news, right? This is not new news. But what I've discovered is sometimes it's the right news at the right time. Have you ever been in that situation where maybe if you've got children, you've told them something a million times and it's just one ear, not the other? Or how I like to say, it just never even gets into the first ear ever.

right on its own, like it just never actually gets into the first year. ⁓ But then an uncle says the same thing or a teacher or a coach or a best friend says the exact same thing. And then all of a sudden, boom, great epiphany, the aha moment, the light bulb comes on all of a sudden. And they come back and they tell you what the other person told them. But it's like, you're scratching your head like, well, I told you that two years ago. Or even in your life, right? Someone has told you something at one point and you just

You just weren't ready to hear it. But then someone told you the same thing later on, or you were watching a YouTube video, or you were listening to a podcast, and someone said the exact same thing, and now all of a sudden you get it. How come? Because it was the right time. Life is played out in seasons. And sometimes you're not in the right season to receive the seed. So sometimes it's just the right seed

in the right season.

things begin to grow. So no, this is not new news. The whole people pleasing thing, the whole you can't please people, that's not new news. But perhaps it's the right news at the right time for you. Yeah, I hope so. All right, guys, that is it. That is the episode. That is the experience. I hope and pray that it has added value. I hope and pray that it has been a blessing to you. A few things before I get up out of here that I'm getting used to announcing. The first thing is within these show notes,

There is a new link guys called the text me, text me your questions guys. If you have questions, show ideas, topics that you want me to cover, click that link and text me directly. All right. Take you a few seconds. I would love to hear from you. I would love to hear your ideas. I would love to hear what you want me to cover topics that you want me to dive into. I'm all about equipping, empowering, encouraging. So

text me any questions or any topics that you would love for me to get into. ⁓ Number two, ⁓ support. There is now a new link within these show notes as well. If you would like to support this show, the work that I'm doing, right? It costs money, right? All of this technology, the lights and the cameras and the computer and the uploads and downloads and all the software and everything that goes into it, this thing costs money, right? So listen, if you would like to support

the I am the possible podcast. There is a link now at the bottom of these show notes. You can click that link and you can become a supporter of the show. You can choose your amount. Nothing is too big. Nothing is too small. ⁓ And you can become a one-time donor, one-time supporter, ⁓ or you can set it up to where you can give on a monthly basis, whatever that might look like for you. Anything that you would love to contribute, I would love to receive.

And it will all be going toward this work, this mission of just, again, empowering people, equipping people, encouraging people in these perspectives about life that give life to what is possible in life. This is what I do. ⁓ And so I just wanted to offer you the opportunity to invest and to partner with me in the production of this show. It would be a blessing to me. It would be a great support to me. And it would just be a way for you to partner up.

and for you to be a part of the work and the mission and the ministry and the message that is I am the possible. And lastly, I mentioned it earlier, but I'll mention it one more time. If you're not watching on YouTube, but you do watch YouTube, I will love your subscription on YouTube. I will love your subscription on any podcast platform that you're watching this show on. So if you are on any platform regularly,

Go ahead and subscribe so that you get that little notification when I come out with a new episode. I would love to continue to serve you and show up for you in this way. All right. That is it. Love you guys. Praying for you guys. Believing in you guys. Until next time, this is Treveal CW Lynch. Mr. What What. And this is the I Am The Possible Podcast Experience. The place where possibilities become.

perspective. Yes, guys have an amazing week. God bless you.