
The iAMthepossible Podcast
the iAMthepossible® podcast is the place where possibilities become perspective! Our mission is to share perspectives on life, that give life, to what's possible in life!
The iAMthepossible Podcast
How to be Confident in Yourself (as a Christian)
Build confidence, create confidence, cultivate confidence, develop self-confidence — that’s what this message is all about. Are you ready to build confidence in yourself and create confidence in every area of your life?
In this episode, Treveal C.W. Lynch breaks down the real meaning of confidence, revealing that you already possess it — you just need to correct how you relate to yourself.
You’ll learn:
- How confidence is actually trust in yourself
- Why your “lack of confidence” is often a misalignment, not a missing quality
- A simple, actionable 21-day strategy to cultivate confidence starting today
- How to transition from negative input to empowering insight
- How shifting your self-concept changes everything you think, say, and do
If you’ve ever said “I want more confidence,” or searched for how to build confidence, create more confidence, boost self-confidence fast, or confidence building tips, this video was made for you.
Did you enjoy this episode?
Want more helpful tips and tools from Treveal?
Get them here: https://www.youtube.com/@iamthepossible
Treveal C.W. Lynch (00:01)
Hey, what's going on guys? Welcome to the, am the possible podcast experience the place where possibilities become perspective guys. Welcome into the space and into the place today, guys, we're talking about self-confidence and how to create self-confidence, how to cultivate it, how to possess it, how to have confidence.
where it matters most in yourself. You know, as a coach, self-confidence is the number one request I get from clients. I want to build more confidence. I want to be a confident person. For as many years as I've known, confidence is always something that we desire, that we want more of, that we desire to express.
and to possess in our lives. And today I want to approach it as always from a different perspective. Rather than confidence being something that you don't possess and that you're trying to attain, that you're trying to get a hold of, I wanna break confidence down and I also want to make you acutely aware that
Your problem is not a lack of confidence. It's more likely if you desire confidence in your life, if you're someone looking for more confidence, if you're someone who desires to be a more confident person, I want to make you acutely aware that confidence is something that you already possess. It's something that you already have. It's always been there and it will always be there. It's never going to go away.
The only difference is what you have confidence in and how you approach expressing your confidence. So let me break this down. Confidence by definition is trust. You, if you desire confidence in yourself, I want you to know that you already possess confidence because you already trust yourself.
The expression of it just may not be the way that you want to express it. You may have confidence in your inability to keep your word to yourself. You may have confidence in yourself in a way that says to yourself, I'm going to fail. I'm going to let myself down. See confidence by definition is trust.
So trust can either be in a positive way or a negative way. It can be in a aligned way or a misaligned way. When people say I want more confidence, what they're really saying is I want a kind of confidence that affects me in a positive way, a kind of confidence that is aligned with what I desire, my values.
my belief systems, what I find to be ⁓ worthy of my time and my attention, right? The priorities of my life. And so today I want to unpack this a little bit, share a little bit out of my own personal life, and then really give you a very simple strategy, a very simple tool that you can use right away.
to begin to cultivate the kind of confidence that you desire in your life. So, a little bit about me. And many of you guys have maybe already heard this, but I grew up in a environment, circumstances, situations, experiences, elements, that pretty much trained me to question myself, to doubt myself, to doubt whether or not
I had worth to doubt whether or not my voice had any value to doubt whether or not I had any value in and of myself to doubt whether or not I was effective to doubt whether or not my life meant anything, whether or not I even mattered, whether or not anyone would miss me if I was gone, whether or not my life had any meaning or purpose beyond being someone's punching bag or rag doll or ⁓ focus of abuse.
And that is not to say that my entire childhood was trash. I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is, is that when you have been abused as much as I have been, that sort of dictates the perspective or the worldview that you have until you can acquire more information. So I grew up
⁓ having things said to me, having things done to me that made me grow confident that I had no value. I was confident that my life didn't matter. I was confident that I was worthless. You know, I always say I preach self-value because I know what it means to not have any. I was certain.
I had a great deal of trust in my worthlessness, if that makes any sense. It wasn't until
my relationship with Christ, and we moved to Southern California.
where my self-concept, the way I saw myself, the way I thought about myself, the way I felt about myself began to improve. I still had a long way to go. Still had a lot of trauma and drama and junk to unpack. And I'm still unpacking it to this day. It was that much. ⁓ Had a rough, background.
rough, rough background, abused mentally, physically, sexually, psychologically, seen a lot of violence, a lot of drug use, a lot of abandonment, a lot of betrayal. And so, yeah, man, I had a very poor self-concept. And so it wasn't until I moved here to Southern California and there was a pastor at our church.
Pastor Eric Brown, God rest his soul, know he's with Jesus now. Pastor Eric at one point had invited me to share a 15 minute message at a men's group in our fellowship hall here in Pasadena. And I shared the message. And when the message was over, Pastor Eric came up to me, put a hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eye. And it was one of those
It was one of those surreal moments. felt like I was looking at Jesus, to be honest. It was one of those most loving, most warm and welcoming, yet masculine, yet ⁓ safe, like looks that I had ever received from an individual. He looked me in the eyes and he said, Treville, you are a teacher.
And he smiled. I wrote about this in my book, What Is Enough. Kind of opened up with it and kind of dedicated the book to Eric. Because Eric, although I had had many mentors and many men in my life who had built me up, edified me, you know, confirmed some things that God was doing in my life, Eric was the first one to tell me what I was, right? Many times I opened up
the show with, you I is your host, Mr. What What, right? And so that's where that whole What What started. Well, actually, the What What started from a Facebook Live. was on a Facebook Live ⁓ with individual named Aaron. ⁓ He was the first one to call me Mr. What What. But the whole what, the whole emphasis on what we are, not who we are and why we are, but the what we are, the missing piece to the puzzle.
Eric was the first one to feel that piece of the puzzle in for me. He told me what I was and It was through learning what I was that I learned that I had value That what we are is what we contribute what we are is what we operate as Right. It is what we are in the earth. It's what we are in the world. It's where we draw value It's where we where we draw some of our identity. It's where we draw ⁓
the truth that our lives matter. And so Eric introduced me to my spiritual gifting as a teacher, as an educator, as an articulate individual that I guess was and continued to become. Someone that could transfer information, someone that could share information, facilitate the thought process, could ask questions.
could share ideas and concepts in a way that most find complicating or complicated, but share those complicated ⁓ concepts in a way that is easy to understand. I don't know how many times I've had people tell me, you made that make sense. Or how many times people have come up to me and said, man, until you shared it that way or the way you put it.
just made it make sense, right? You made it so clear. That's not about me being cocky or anything. That's me acknowledging the gift that God's given me, just as God's given you a gift. And so ⁓ I share that story because my view of myself began to change. The confidence began...
That was the catalyst to my confidence beginning to shift from, you know, I'm worthless, I'm no good, I'm not enough to I'm a teacher, I'm an educator, I'm a communicator. I'm someone who has something to offer, something to contribute, something to give, something that other people need, something that other people are depending on, right? You know how many people are afraid of public speaking?
yet it's a very needed skill, not even necessarily on a stage, but just in a room full of people. Like you need people that are able to get up front, provide a presentation, keynote speech, or just facilitate a meeting. That's a skill set that I didn't give myself. That's God given.
So that means that I came into the world with a purpose. I came into the world with a gift. I came into the world with a contribution and as a contribution. And you are the exact same. You have a gift from God. You have a purpose. You came into this life with a purpose, on purpose, for a purpose. Maybe you don't know what it is yet. Maybe you don't know what your gift is yet. But just because you don't know what it is doesn't mean that it's not there.
And so if you are today, like I was many years ago, questioning your value, questioning your worth, questioning whether or not your life matters, I can tell you with great confidence, yes, absolutely it does. Your existence is the evidence that you matter. I'll say that again for the people in the back. Your very existence is the evidence that you matter, that your life is absolutely necessary.
in this world, right? And so that's how things began to shift for me. And that's where my confidence, my new kind of confidence began to shift. And so I want you to know that in this world, you have something called input, and then you have something called insight. Input is what the uninformed individuals around you may call you.
or may say to you, or may ⁓ label you as. Because growing up, I had people label me all kinds of things, horrible names, scandal, right? I mean, they told lies on me. People set me up for the fall so many times, backstabbed and betrayed so many times. So there were so many things that people said, their input, their opinion of me.
their perspective of me. That was just input. Just like you input information into a computer, you just put information in. Well, the person that's inputting it, they determine what they put in. And it can be right, it can be wrong, it can be evil, it can be good, it can be whatever it is. And so me growing up, people were inputting some very negative things into my life. And now Eric comes into my life at this new age and stage of my life.
And now we shift from input to insight. See, when Eric said, Travell, you are a teacher, that wasn't Eric's opinion. That wasn't Eric's, you know, perspective. That wasn't how he just felt about me. When he said, Travell, you are a teacher, he was providing insight. He was speaking into my life from
within my life. He was able to see something in me that I didn't first see in myself. Insight is really confirmation of what's already there. It's someone's ability to observe you, see something in you, and call it out and say, hey, you are a fill in the blank. In my former life, you are a and all bad. It was all bad. Now in this new
place and space in my life, it's you are a teacher, you are a pastor, you are a leader, you are a father, you are a husband, you are a good things, positive things, edifying things, things that built me up. Can you see the shifting?
You may be in a space and a place right now where you are dealing with a lot of input, people's opinions and perspectives of you, uninformed by the way. As I like to say, people don't really know you like that, man. They're talking bad on you, lying on you, calling you names, know, ⁓ just horrible, horrible stuff.
It's not true.
For whatever reason, it's what they wanna say. It's for whatever reason, it's what they feel like they gotta do to you and say to you, but that's input. They're just sharing what's in them. They're not revealing what's in you the way Eric did. And so as you understand and you become greatly aware and acutely aware that you're gonna always deal with input and you're gonna always deal with insight,
⁓ then it is going to be ⁓ your ability to be consistent in acknowledging that those two exist and being able to discern which is which and choosing for yourself which one you will accept and which one you will reject. And that's a part of ⁓ the building and the creating of your confidence as well.
So let's get into this, right? Now that I've kinda shared my life and shared the whole process and kinda shared some of the things that you'll have to deal with, if you are a person who wants more confidence in you, let's go back to that definition. Confidence is trust. Up until this point, you have trained to not trust yourself, or rather, let me put it this way, because remember, confidence is something that you already have.
We're just going to tweak it. We're just going to improve it. We're going to align it. Okay. We're going to correct it. ⁓
Your confidence doesn't need creating, it just needs correcting. Okay? Your confidence does not need creating, it just needs correcting. Confidence is something that you already have, it just may not be aligned, and it just may not be expressed in a way that you desire for it to be. Okay? So, with that being said,
Right now, you may be in a space and a place in your life where you have great confidence in your ability and likelihood to fail. In your likelihood, in your ability to not keep promises to yourself, to break promises that you've made to yourself, to not keep your word, to renege
on the things that you said that you were committed to, et cetera, et cetera. You name it, you frame it, you put it into your context, you know what it is for you. So like me, maybe you grew up in an environment that caused you to doubt and to mistrust and to not like yourself very much. And because of that, the result was you just kept finding ways to fail.
You kept finding ways to lie to yourself. You kept finding ways to let yourself down. Fine. Acknowledge that. That's who you are today. That's not who you're going to become. Okay. That's not who you're going to become. That's not who you are becoming. So here's how we correct the confidence, right? This is the confident shift right here, right? What we're going to do is we're going to start because the key is
training trust in new things, the things that you want to see happen in your life. And so here's how we're going to do it. You're gonna start with a very small task, something that requires you to do something, but it's going to be extremely simple, small, and something that you can do.
for at least 21 days in a row. For example, setting an alarm and when the alarm goes off, not hitting the snooze button and getting out of the bed immediately, 21 days. For example, before you go to bed at night, fixing your whatever.
whatever you need for the next day. Maybe you wanna set your clothes out. Maybe you wanna prepare your gym bag like me. 21 days before you go to bed, you're gonna set yourself up for the next day. Maybe it's reading a Bible verse every morning at six o'clock for 10 minutes. You're gonna set an alarm at six o'clock.
Alarm goes off, you got your Bible app, you're gonna read the Bible for 10 minutes. I'm giving you very simple examples, but I want it to be something that you desire for you, something that's meaningful to you, but something that it's within your normal flow of life, but you've been maybe inconsistent in doing it. It needs to be something small. It needs to be something that you can do in under 10 minutes.
It needs to be something that's not going to wreck your day if you don't do it. Like it needs to be something where it's not going to require other people's involvement. can't depend on other people because that's too inconsistent. don't, don't, don't do something like I'm going to meet my friend for coffee for the next 21 days because your friend may cancel. So don't, don't even set yourself up like that. Don't do anything that's going to depend on the weather.
Don't do anything that's gonna depend on anyone outside of you. You need to be able to do it with your eyes closed. It has to be so small and so simple that the only way you don't do it, the only way you don't do it is that either, God forbid, you're dead, so it ain't gonna matter anyway, like you're no longer here.
Right? Or, or, ⁓ I mean, something catastrophic. mean, literally like, and again, I don't want to be morbid or sound crazy, but like an earthquake or a tsunami or something happens and tears your whole house down and now you're displaced or something like that. Like something just ridiculously life altering, but it can't be, ⁓ I just overslept or ⁓ I just didn't feel like it or ⁓
someone said something to me and I felt some type of way so I was no longer in the mood. Like that's a part of this thing, that whole creating confidence. You have to be doubting enough to get that small win each day for 21 days. Now, why 21 days? I'm being honest with you, man. Some things in life don't make a lot of sense, but they just work. And 21 days for me has been the habit maker, right? Or habit breaker, right? I started
messing with the 21 days to be completely transparent. Back when ⁓ I first, you know, became a Christian early on in my walk, we were doing a lot of fasting, right? So you would do the Daniel fast, 21 days of no meats and no sweets, right? And so that's kind of what my introduction was, right? The whole Daniel fast. But then you started reading it in the Bible and you see different examples where 21 days was utilized. And so just over time.
just 21 days kind of began to be something of significance. I think I read it also in a couple of books ⁓ on dieting and nutrition, but it began when I started fasting for 21 days. Even when I became a pastor, it was coming off of a 21 day fast. I went on a 21 day fast, water only, and fasted and prayed for 21 days. And on that 21st day, I was led to Isaiah 5 55.
And yeah, man. Oh, I'm sorry. Isaiah 55, five. And or was I just Isaiah five, 55? I don't know. Just some fives right now. Don't don't worry about it. Just kind of slipping my mind right now. But I know it was three fives. And I remember a sister when I shared it with her, she said, oh, that's the number of grace. Five is the number of grace. Right. And so she kind of went off. But yeah, man, I was I was I was led to Isaiah and
And I felt like God was saying to me in that moment, yes, I've called you my shepherd, my pastor. So that's how it all was confirmed. But I don't remember the exact address. It's been some time. So I have to look back in there and remember that. But 21, 21 days works for some reason. It's just a magical number.
and it either makes a habit or breaks a habit. So something for 21 days. What you're doing is you are training, just like if you go to the gym and you train, you train one day, the muscle probably isn't going to change. If you train for one day, you're not going to lose very much weight. But if you train 21 days consistently, right, something's going to change. Something's going to change. Like physically, there's going to be something that changes.
consistency over time, but keep it super small, super simple, and to be optimal, something that you can do before the day starts, like before you head out for the day. Because as the day gets going, we just have a way to find excuses. We have a way to talk ourselves out of stuff. So if it's something that you can do at home, super simple before you even get started, that would be the best case scenario. All right? ⁓ So you're training.
trust. And as you train trust, you're simultaneously training confidence because the more trust you can build in you being a person of character, integrity, showing up for yourself, doing what you say, saying what you do, then you're going to start to see yourself differently. You're going to start to build that self, not only self confidence, but you're going to rebuild and reconstruct yourself concept. Remember I talked about the self concept earlier, the way you see yourself.
You're going to build yourself talk, what you say to yourself, right? Those are the two most important things in the world, right? Remember the two most important thing in the world, two most important things in the world, what you say to yourself, what you see in yourself, those are the foundations of life. They dictate and project almost everything else that you do in this, in this, in this world. And so you're building that up. You're edifying that you're improving that you're empowering that.
through this process. So you do it, start small, and then you build on your wins. ⁓ Obviously, there's much more I can say many more things I can share, but let's just keep it simple for now. I've got some assessments down below in the description. You can take those assessments to start learning more about yourself. You can hit me up, drop questions down below if you're watching on the tube, and you should be watching on the tube. If you're not watching on YouTube, you've not
yet subscribe to the YouTube channel, please do so. Head over to YouTube, type in, am the possible, no space, one word, I am the possible and subscribe, hit the little bell so that you are notified each and every time I drop a new video, which is pretty often once or twice a week. And I would love to have your subscription and I would love to continue to ⁓ share and minister and, you know, just help to build you up.
All right. Each and every week. if you're not subscribed there, please do so if you're listening on a podcast episode or podcast platform right now. But yeah, man, drop comments, drop questions. If you have any questions, you can head over to my website. Iamthepossible.com. If you have any questions that you want to email me on, please do so. If you're listening on a podcast platform, I would love your review, your thoughts. What did you think about this episode? What stood out? ⁓
What, you know, did you have any aha moments? Did anything catch you by surprise? You didn't expect that. ⁓ Anything, man. Any feedback is good feedback because I learned from it and I use that feedback to further improve this experience and this platform. All right. So that's it guys. ⁓ Remember input, insight. These assessments down below will help you to gain insight.
to what God has already hooked you up with, already embedded within you and already desires to use ⁓ in you and through you as a contribution to better this world, okay? And in that you will find value, right? That's your what, what, right? You're more than just a man, you're more than just a woman, you're more than just, you know, ⁓ a human. You are a contribution, you are God's idea.
created in the mind of your creator, in the imagination of God you were first formed. right? Wonderfully, powerfully, masterfully created and brought into this world, all right, to do some great things. So that's it, man. I love you guys. I'm praying for you guys. I'm believing in you guys. Until next time, this is Trevail CW Lynch. Mister, what, what? Telling you, man, to...
Please value your self. And until next time, let's continue to love ourselves, love our creator, and love those that are around you.