The Internal Battle You Don't Realize You're Fighting

Why do you keep doing the things you hate… while struggling to do the things you know you need to do?

In this episode we'll unpack why you feel trapped in this repetitive cycle and discuss how you can begin to overcome this inner conflict so many people live with every day.

During this discussion, I'll share my personal process and show you how to learn from and even leverage your "dark side" in ways that benefit and not burden you further.

TRUTH...

Your value, consistency, progress and/or happiness does not need to disappear when frustration, anxiety, stubbornness, fear, or anger show up. 

Listen now to understand why this is possible and how to make this ability a reality.

Free Resource Here

Transcript

Treveal C.W. Lynch (00:07)
The things I want to do, I can't seem to do. And the things I don't want to do, I just keep finding a way to do it. That's Bible, that's scripture. But that's also a lot of us. We're in a space and a place in our lives where we can't figure out why we keep doing the things we don't want to do. And we can't

figure out why is it that I keep doing the things I have no interest in doing. If that's you, today's I Am The Possible podcast experience is definitely for you. We're going to be talking about two sides to the coin. The coin called you. We're going to be deep diving and we're going to be unpacking not only

the idea and the fact that there is two sides to us. But even more, more importantly, we're going to begin to practice appreciating both sides. So come on in. Welcome to the I Am The Possible podcast experience. The place where

Possibilities become perspective.

So welcome guys, welcome into this space, into this place. I'm so excited to be sharing with you something that I'm extremely passionate about. And that is the relationship that we have with ourselves in our society. It is so undervalued. It's not talked about. It's not something that we promote very much. We're quick to sell people programs.

10 steps to a better life, three steps to success. We're always trying to give someone a system or a program, but rarely do we talk about the foundation. The foundation to life itself, which is relationship. Without relationship, life doesn't happen. You and I, we are a product of a relationship, and everything in life is a product of relationship.

First communication, then relationship, then life. Without communication, there is no relationship, and without relationship, there is no life. And so today, I want to empower you by unpacking something in the area or under this umbrella, this topic of relating better to ourselves so that we can create better for ourselves, which is the...

the signature framework of I Am The Possible, this podcast and everything that I create. So today I wanna open up with this practical example. If you're watching me on the tube and you should be watching on the tube, then I'm holding up here a silver coin, a silver piece. So one ounce silver piece. And I recently got into

buying and collecting these silver pieces, quite honestly, when the market went up. I don't know if you guys have been paying attention to the market and ⁓ recently over the last couple of months, silver has been doing really good. And I remember back when I was young, I always liked the look of silver over gold. It was just a preference. ⁓ It helped me to have more jewelry, right? Because silver is cheaper than gold. But I honestly just liked the look and the feel of silver.

over gold. And so it's kind of in a way kind of brought me back to some of my my old childhood ⁓ behaviors, I guess, right, just collecting silver and just kind of interacting with with silver. But I hold up this coin because this coin has two sides. It's called the law of polarity. In life, everything has two sides. I first got introduced to this concept. ⁓

by a gentleman that was explaining it and he was teaching on it, but he used a slice of bread. He says, there is no such thing as a one-sided slice of bread. If you have a piece of bread, it's got two sides to it, right? And so it is with this coin. And so I want you to understand first and foremost, right out the gate, that you are a coin, right? We're using our imagination, all right? Stick with me. You're a coin. And so on one side of the coin, there's a Indian head.

So a picture of an Indian head. On the other side of the coin is a picture of a buffalo, right? So there's two sides to the same coin. The coin in and of itself is a one ounce silver coin, all right? It's worth about 80 bucks right now on the market. So this one coin has 80 bucks worth of value. On one side, there's a buffalo. On the other side, there's an Indian head.

If I was to look on the side of the Indian head, I would be able to describe certain attributes. If I was to flip it over and look on the buffalo side, I would be able to describe certain attributes. Same coin, but depending on the side of the coin that you're focusing on, that you're looking at, you're going to be able to describe different attributes, characteristics.

distinctions. And so it is with you and I, depending on the side of the coin that we're looking at, focusing on and understanding, becoming greater, ⁓ becoming more aware of, then that's going to determine what we're describing, what we're engaging with, what we're relating to at that given moment. But here's the thing.

It's one coin. So it's still valuable. It's $80 worth of value, no matter what side of the coin that you're looking on. And so I use that illustration to say to you first and foremost that you have inherent value, regardless of the side of the coin that's showing up in the moment. See, for many of us, the reason that we keep doing the things that we don't want to do, we can't find a way to do the things

that we do want to do is because there's a relationship with one side of us that if that side shows up, we're happy, we're excited, we're thriving, we're moving forward. But then there's another side to us that if that side shows up, we want to reject ourselves. We want to judge ourselves, criticize ourselves, shrink back.

from the moment, shrink back from the activities that we're doing. In other words, there's two sides to you. Both sides are profitable. Both sides have value. Both sides have purpose. And both sides make up and form who you are collectively as a person. But if you only value one side of you and only when that side shows up, do you move forward. Do you believe in yourself? Do you take action in the right direction?

then there's only 50 % of you that you're utilizing, that you're appreciating, that you're activating in your life. So you're leaving half of you on the table because you don't really respect or accept the side of you that doesn't make you really feel good inside and the side that you don't really want showing up. That's the side that other people have nitpicked at. That's the side of you that other people have.

talked about, that's the side of you that you've learned to reject and to push off. And today I want to help you to integrate and not eliminate, right? I want you to explore, not ignore, both sides of you because all of you has to be taken into account, has to be appreciated.

has to be honored, respected, accepted, utilized. If you want to eliminate that inner conflict, if you wanna eliminate those patterns and those cycles of inconsistency, those cycles of anxiety, those cycles of frustration, those cycles of wanting to do something in life but never being able to do it.

or being dominated by these life-dominating things that you wanna break free from, but you just can't seem to do so. I believe that it's directly tied to you becoming aware of both sides of you and learning how to take advantage of both sides of you. So let me share with you a little bit of my life. One thing I love to do, I'm extremely passionate about doing,

is self-assessments. Man, that's my soapbox. If you're not aware of something, then how can you appreciate it? How can you accept it? How can you take advantage of it? And this is, again, talking about both sides. And so many times I talk with...

My Christian brothers and sisters, and I say, hey man, what's your spiritual gift? Do you know what your spiritual gift is? Have you ever taken a spiritual gift test? And so many of them are like, no, I never took one before. I don't know what my gifts are. I don't know what my purpose is. There's so much to us that we're not aware of, that we're leaving on the table. And it just sets us up to be so frustrated in life. It sets us up to be, you know, just underdeveloped from a spiritual perspective.

from a financial perspective, from a physical perspective. Like there are so many different things and so many areas of your life that you could be moving forward in, that you could be thriving in, that you could be growing and maturing in, but the lack of understanding of oneself, that inner conflict that keeps just driving you crazy, right? That emotional overwhelm.

that just keeps showing up in your life because you don't know how you work. You don't understand what's happening within you that's causing you to do things that you don't wanna do and preventing you from doing the very things that you so desperately desire and deserve to be doing. This is what it's all about.

learning to relate better to ourselves so that we can create better for ourselves and for those around us, those that we love so dearly. So let me share something with you out of one of my assessments. I'm gonna share my screen and I'm gonna share with you some results, Some results, a little bit of my results. Go ahead and share this right here. ⁓ Right, so this is from a recent assessment that I had.

It was like a personality test. And there's millions of them. There are so many personality tests that are available today. Many of them absolutely free. And it just gives you a different level of awareness about who you are and just how you operate. And I'm telling y'all, man, this is my bread and butter. This is what has gotten me to where I am today. This is, man, I haven't shared my before and after in so long, but I promise you, man, this is...

This is what I've done for the last 25 plus years that has kept me growing. They talk about the growth mindset. This is the foundation of my growth mindset, assessing myself, evaluating myself, learning myself, because God has given you a life that you can live to the full. But how can you live a life to the full if you don't understand how your life has been designed, how it's been formed, right?

I can almost kind of hear like a analogy or something kind of forming in my head. Understanding how your life is formed allows you to live your life to the full, right? Something like that, right? But it's like understanding your formation kind of leads to this revelation of this ability, man, to do, have, and be everything that God's created you for. So on one side, I'm showing my strengths, right?

That's the side of the coin, right? Air quotes coin that we love. And some of us are not even aware of what our strengths are. We're just operating in them because the word of God says that the gifts that God gives us, are without repentance. So God's not gonna take them back. However you choose to use your gifts, they're not gonna be taken away. Gifts and strengths and talents. And I'll get more into breaking down what each of those means in a different episode. But right now we're talking about

just your personality strengths. So for me, they're listing these three on the left side, right? Your strengths, a sense of focus, emotional intelligence, openness to new things, right? And this is the other thing that I'll say. When you do assessments, man, so much clarity is created because so many things begin to align. Like many times you're doing something, you're being who you are, you're being how you are.

without the understanding of why and how you are, but you're just kind of doing life. When you begin to do assessments, you begin to connect the dots. The puzzle pieces begin to get put in place and the picture becomes clearer, right? You know how you buy a puzzle and on the box is this beautiful picture, but then you dump out a million pieces and then you got to work to put all the pieces together before you can see that picture again. Well, that's what assessments does.

assessments, evaluations, tests that reveal your personality, reveal what God has entrusted to you. That's going to help you to put your puzzle pieces in place and your picture to come alive and to be made clear. So ⁓ I love doing them because it's like, man, that's why I think that way. ⁓ man, that's why I'm always doing that thing. Right? So for me,

And again, this is one of a thousand assessments that I've taken. Okay. ⁓ and so there's so much more to unpack, but just to give you something to chew on. Right. So sense of focus, right. You're unwavering and committed to reaching the goals you set for your creative projects. So that's a strength that I have. it's.

It's easy for me to do the podcast. It's easy for me to write the next sermon. It's easy for me to teach, preach and speak in front of a live audience. It's a part of my gifting, right? So I have this ability to be extremely focused and to really achieve my goals in the creative space that God's given me. But on the flip side, look at this, right? Because that's only one side of the coin, right? Now, when I flip the coin over, I want you to parallel. I want you to look on the other side.

Now let's look at my weakness, stubbornness. You may believe your opinion is the only right one with no room for other viewpoints. So that's a weakness. So when that side shows up, right, and again, keep it in the framework of you're unaware of this, right? Pretend like I didn't have this assessment. And so...

On Monday, I wake up and I'm in my creative space. Ooh, I'm loving life. I'm loving life. I'm loving life. I'm doing my thing in my creative space. And then at some point throughout the day, my stubborn side shows up, but I'm not aware of it, right? I don't know that I have that side to me. So now I'm just like, ⁓ I'm all in my, you know, my, my, my thing, right? My way, my way or the highway, right? Whatever that may or however that may play out throughout the day. So I'm stuck in doing it my way. So that's just.

I'm trying to make up something in the moment. Let's say concerning my podcast, they come out with a new way of recording this podcast. Let's just say for example, right? And they push the update to the software that I use overnight. And then I wake up, I'm in my creative space, I'm creating my next podcast episode, and then I go to record and oops, I find out, well, there's a new way to do this.

I have a tendency, I have the ability through my stubbornness to sit and obsess, get angry, get pissed off, kill time, procrastinate. Because wait a minute, I expected it to go this way and now you guys have changed it. The way it was was the best way. Now we have to do it this way. I can't believe that. This is ridiculous. It was fine the way it was.

Guys, I'm just kind of making up something to try in the moment, because I like to just be in the moment, to illustrate how that could sabotage me, how that could make things go south. Now, let me show you how this works for me, because my stubbornness in a positive way, in a positive context, because I'm stubborn, that means I have tenacity. That means I have determination.

that actually helps me, the stubbornness, which is a weakness, air quotes, in one context, actually works for my good in another context. Because when I am writing the next message, the next speech, the next podcast episode, my stubbornness works out so that I am determined to get across the finish line. I am resilient, I am resourceful. You see how that goes? But when it comes to

a change that I didn't expect or someone to do something that I didn't want them to do, then my stubbornness can show up as not moving forward, obsessing over the change, being angry and frustrated with the change rather than quickly accepting the change, integrating the change and moving forward. Now, with my personality, I love change in one area. I love dreaming for the possibility. I love creativity. I love innovation.

in certain areas. But when it comes to my routine, my morning daily routine, I don't want you to interrupt that. When it comes to my podcasting, I don't want you to interrupt that because I have a certain flow, a certain cadence. I want to get this thing done because I really enjoy doing it. So my stubbornness can show up and say, my way was the best way, right?

The way it was, you know, the way I did it, the way I was setting it up before, that was the best way. Now these guys want to come in and change things and make things a different way. Now I'm frustrated. And what can happen is going back to the earlier point, doing what I don't want to do and not doing what I want to do. This can then show up as an inner conflict within myself. See, man, here we go again. This thing threw me off. I'm not going to record today.

And now here I am feeling bad about myself, getting down on myself. See, you go for a little while and then you give up. You go for a little while, then you quit. Then you start procrastinating, trying to perfect things, right? All of that inner dialogue, all that inner conflict can get in the way, but it doesn't get in the way as much as it used to. Why? Because I continue to learn myself. And that's what I wanted to share in that moment. All right, I'm gonna go ahead and stop sharing.

I keep learning myself guys, and that's what I want to encourage you to do to keep learning yourself, your two sides. Two sides, bam, to the same coin. You never lose value depending on, let me pause. It doesn't matter what side of the coin you're currently looking at. You're the same coin, same value.

same use, same contribution, same image of God, same extension of God, same expression of God, same idea of God, same creativity of God, same contributor of God's love. That's who you are. That's what you will always be. And it's your responsibility to

to make the decision to begin to look at yourself as something that is always good, always useful, always.

Always. You're just always, So when you're developing this kind of perspective, when you can look at both sides, when it comes up, because now it's in your awareness, when it comes up, ⁓ I'm about to get frustrated because things aren't going my way. I'm just staying on the example that I gave earlier. Okay, wait a minute. I have a tendency to be stubborn. Okay, that's showing up right now. Okay, that's all right. That's showing up.

Okay, that's not gonna stop me. That's not gonna sabotage me. That's not gonna derail me. Why? Because I'm aware of it. Now, how do I leverage my stubbornness? How do I leverage my ability to be opinionated? Well, now I can sit with myself and this goes back to my overarching framework, right? Concept, conversation, capacity, consistency, change.

Right? The kind of change that you want. So now the concept I have of myself is I am a two-sided coin. The law of polarity applies to me. So I see myself as a coin with two sides, same value, no matter what side you're looking at. With that healthy perspective of myself, I can then have the conversation with myself. Right? Because the concept is what you see in yourself.

Right? Or see of yourself. The conversation is what you say to yourself. Now I'm able to have a different conversation with myself. Travelle, okay, pump the brakes. This is not about to be a moment of inconsistency. This is not about to be a moment where you spiral out. It's not about to be a moment where you get all up in your feelings. You have the ability to be stubborn and to fold your arms and cry like a baby. You have that ability.

But what we're going to do right now is we're going to acknowledge that ability and we're going to use that and leverage that for our good. Because that same stubborn tendency could stop me from doing the things I want to do, or it could be leveraged to actually help me to do the things that I want to do. See how this is starting to work? Now you have to name it, you have to frame it, you have to put it into your own context. I'm just trying to off the cuff, use an example from my own assessment, right? I don't try to...

pre-plan these things. I try to just live in the moment with you guys as if I was talking to you in person, right? And so now I'm going to use that stubbornness to speak to myself in a way that says, we getting across this finish line today. we about to create this podcast today. they upgraded how we do it. They changed how we do it. Good. must be some somehow, some way this must be playing out for my good somehow, some way, because I'm still the coin.

I'm still the same value. I'm still God's man. I'm still living on purpose. I'm still created, right, for God's glory, for God's use, for God's contribution. ain't nothing about me changed. So, if they change the programming, then it's not my time to be stubborn, but it's my time to leverage my stubbornness to get me even further. So, now I'm determined to learn whatever I need to learn so that I can continue to move forward.

I'm not going to defeat myself. I'm going to determine my path. I'm going to move forward with determination, with resiliency, with resourcefulness. I'm going to see myself in a way that says, they changed it. Fine. I can learn to change. I can learn to do it differently because the greater thing, the mission, the work that I'm doing, the ministry that God's given me, that is so important. It's so

It's so desperately needed in the world because I understand my purpose, work that I've done before that's already working within me because I know I have a purpose. I know that God is going to use me to do and continue to use me to do great things. I'm going to be stubborn about plowing through any kind of change, any kind of detour, any type of hurdle and challenge in my life to continue on the path of doing the things.

that God has made possible for me to do. Man, I hope and pray that that makes sense. I hope and pray that that makes sense. You are a coin, two different sides, same value. So when the side of you that you don't really like shows up, now you can begin to have a new conversation with yourself. See, again, it's always about relating to yourself so that you can create with yourself and create for yourself and create for those that are.

around you. It keeps going back to this because this is my soapbox. This is my work. This is my mission. I want to help you to develop a better relationship with yourself. When you can have a great relationship with you, everything else opens up. Everything else opens up. How do we connect the dots? It's something called intrapersonal communication. Intrapersonal soft skills, right? It's you intra, meaning inside you.

building and developing a greater relationship with yourself, becoming healthy within yourself, loving, accepting yourself, becoming extremely confident in yourself as you have been confident in Christ, right? It just changes everything. Changes our prayer life, it changes the way that we live for God, it just revolutionizes everything, right? Because now, just side note, for those of us that are in prayer,

our prayers get transformed from God do it to God you've done it. So I take great pleasure in participating in what you've already done, what's already working within me. Now I take great confidence in my ability to contribute to the betterment of this world because of what you've already done. That mean I don't ask God for anything, but it does mean that more times than not,

I'm going to God saying, whoo, thank you God. I'm a participant. am a partner with you. I am being used by you to do and to express the blessings of God that have already been made possible through me because of what you've already done. Right? It just changes. It changes the game. That's why I'm so passionate about you learning yourself. It changes the game. When you know yourself, everything changes.

But again, going back to the earlier part, I'm doing what I don't wanna do. I don't do what I wanna do. The reason for that is because you don't know yourself as good as you could, as good as you could. So as always in the description of this episode, I'm gonna be putting links for assessments. Take assessments, spend time with yourself.

Spend time, ask. You don't even need the assessments that I provide. You can just sit in silence or go for a walk somewhere and just talk to yourself in a way that's loving and that's welcoming. Hey, self. Hey, self. How are you, How are you shaped? How did God shape you? Or you can pray and ask God, God, how did you shape me? What did you shape me for? What did you create me for? What are my gifts? What are my talents?

Help me to become aware of what I've always been doing and now how I can consciously begin to use what I've always done to begin to create the things that I've always desired. Right? But it's going to start with a relationship with yourself. That's where it's going to start. Share my screen one more time here. I've got some things that I want to share, then we're going to ahead and wrap it up. All right? I don't want to forget to share these things.

Da da da da da da.

Let's see, here we go. Share my screen here. All righty, and we're go here. All right, presentation. All right, check it out, guys. Check it, check it out. Because I've freestyled enough today, I wanna share with you some things that I've learned. A lot of people have a poor relationship with themselves because they only know how to appreciate themselves when they're functioning at their.

best, but a real relationship is not built on only liking yourself when you're polished, productive, patient, disciplined, calm, or confident. No, a real relationship with yourself grows when you learn, and here comes the key part, my goodness, a real relationship with yourself grows when you learn how to stay present.

You don't run away from it. You don't cop out. You don't make excuses, but you stay present with yourself even when the side of you that you don't like shows up. That's what I've been talking about. There's a side that you don't like. That's it. It's just a side that you don't like. It doesn't mean that the side is bad. It doesn't mean that the side is wrong or that it's evil or that it's sabotaging you. No.

It's just another side of you. And that side you can grow in your appreciation of, you can grow in your acceptance of, you can grow in your use of.

You can move from it controlling you to you controlling it. Self-governance. Autonomy.

free will choice. However you name it or frame it, whatever you're comfortable with, right? But God has given us the ability to govern ourselves under His government.

Like, love God with everything you got, love your neighbor. Boom, man. Live your life. Right? Jesus said, I've come not to do away with the law, but to summarize the law.

Guys, this is it right here, man.

size.

two sides. And the more familiar you can become with both sides, understanding your tendencies, understanding, you know, what's happening within you.

the better you can become at identifying it quickly, as we say, course correcting. And what I really love about it is it's not about eliminating it. It's not about this evil dark side. Some people call it the shadow self, the shadow side. I don't want to get rid of my shadow. Can you imagine walking down the street and the sun shining and you have no shadow? Like, nah, I want my shadow.

Even if I don't understand completely what the purpose of it is or what, but that's my shadow. You got a shadow, right? You ain't getting rid of yours. I want my shadow, right? But that's a whole other topic. But my point is, me, I digress. Let me bring it back. Let me bring it back before I get all off topic. ⁓ No, man, it's like...

What I love most about it is that the more you learn yourself, the more you appreciate this law of polarity being at work, the more you appreciate that you have these two sides, that there's parts of you that maybe you don't really like as much, but you can grow in integrating them and not eliminating them because they have, as I've been taught, utility value, even your dark side.

even your shadow, it has value. I explained it earlier. It's just you knowing what they are, knowing what the other side is, knowing how it operates, and then you being able to, in your mind consciously, go back to the framework, always go back to the framework. Okay, what's my concept? I am created of God. I am a contribution of God.

I am an expression, extension of God, right? We're gonna start off with that. I'm God's idea. I'm God's imagination. I ⁓ was created in the image and the likeness of God through God's imagination. I am the beloved of God, right? I'm participating in a grand purpose, right? That extends beyond this moment. So we start with that concept. We're rooted in that concept.

Now from that concept, we have a really healthy conversation, a really mature conversation with ourselves in the midst of the side of us showing up that we don't really care for. That's going to help to regulate you. That's going to help to manage you. ⁓ Well, that's really what regulation is. It's going to help you to manage yourself from an emotional position much better. It's going to...

help you to stay more focused, it's going to help you to stay more consistent. You're going to experience less internal conflict. You're going to start to enjoy the inner voice, the inner dialogue, instead of, in a sense, feeling like you're trapped in your mind or trapped in this inner stuff and it's just making you feel icky. You're going to start to appreciate the inner dialogue. You're going to begin to welcome it. You're going to begin to seek it out. You're going to wake up every morning, pray, and love having conversations with yourself.

about how God's going to use you greatly in this world and how you're going to fulfill your purpose and do great things and be great things and experience great things. Because those conversations are available when you're rooted in a concept that's working for you, not against you. Your conversations become ones that work for you and not against you. Thus, your capacity to create consistency in doing the things you want to do.

and not doing the things that you don't want to so that you can then create the kind of change in your life that you desire. I hope and pray that that all made sense. ⁓ Let me give you a CTA, a call to action. First and foremost, you know what, let me scrap the other one that I was thinking of. First and foremost, click the links in this description, begin taking assessments. Just begin to take one.

Just get the ball rolling. Don't overthink it, don't overdo it. Just start with one. It's gonna open up a whole new world. The more, I mean, if you just learned one new thing about yourself a day, if you just learned one new thing about yourself a week, heck, a month, that's 12 new things that you know about yourself in 2026. And it's in April right now, so let's say the next eight months, you learned one new thing. That's eight new things about you that you learned.

that's going to help you to better manage your life. Man, that's life changing right there. All right. But that's the number one thing. But secondly, just as a practice, the next time a side of you shows up that you don't like, maybe you get a little angry, maybe you get a little anxious, whatever it might be for you, the next time that side of you shows up, instead of trying to ignore it and push it away and act like it's not there, right? Because how's that working for you?

And instead of trying to eliminate it, right? Trying to just say, ⁓ I cast you out in the name of Jesus, you know, trying to get spiritual with it or something like that. No. Welcome it. Don't eliminate. Integrate. Don't ignore. Explore. Bring it closer. What are you showing me? What are you telling me? How can I use you for my good and not my destruction? How can you help me?

instead of sabotage me. Talk to it. Talk to that other side of you. Right, Mr. Jekyll, right? What are they called? Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, whatever the name is. Come on with Jekyll. Talk to Hyde, man, and vice versa. Talk, communicate, speak. Talk to yourself. Begin to be curious. Not condemning. Hey, you're showing up again. Anxiety. Hey, anger.

You're showing up again. What are you informing me of? What are you trying to show me? What are you saying? What am I not aware of? What do I need to pay attention to?

It's worked for me. It has changed my life. And if you want that same kind of change, I really welcome you to do this. I really encourage you to do this. All right? Love you guys, praying for you guys, believing in you guys.