When Anger Takes Over: A Real Conversation for Men and Fathers

Most men do not explode because of one moment.

They explode because pressure has been building in silence.

In this episode of the iAMthepossible podcast, Treveal and CJ have a real, raw, and very necessary conversation about anger, stress in life, fatherhood, and the desire to “get back” when you feel disrespected.

What started as a frustrating moment involving a business flyer being torn down became a deeper conversation about what many men carry but rarely communicate: pressure, pain, pride, parenting challenges, friendship tension, feeling taken for granted, and the fear of being seen as weak.

This conversation is for men who are feeling like they're being overlooked, stepped on, disrespected, unheard, or pushed to the edge. It is especially for young fathers and men in general who are trying to become better without pretending they are perfect.

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Transcript

Treveal C.W. Lynch (00:00)
Let's get it. Let's do it. Welcome to the I Am the Possible Podcast Experience, the place where possibilities become perspective. And today, guys, we are talking about how men can learn to over.

The anger, the pissed offness, and how we can overcome and really come to grips with the desire to get back. Today, on this live episode, this live experience, I am joined by my main man, brother from another, my man CJ. And we're going to be talking some real talk, some real life experience, some real life occurrences. And we're just gonna be diving in, man, ⁓ because we want to.

on this platform bring to men and really bring to anyone that's tapping in because we all experience these things. But we just want to talk to men and meet men where they are. And so what we have found best to do is just use real life experiences. Things that we've gone through or are going through that other men can relate to, can feel, can understand, and then provide some real talk solutions. Nothing crazy over our heads, nothing that's

⁓ you know too esoteric or just too weird or just too out there or even too spiritual to be to be you know saying real with you just something that you can actually understand and you can apply. So yeah man yeah man thank you bro for for for joining me today man and and and thank you for in advance man for the transparency for just being being vulnerable because ⁓ a lot of times that's one of the biggest issues and

challenges that that men have to to be able to ⁓ say what's what's really going on, man. So before we jump into this, anything that you want to say to the folks, man, anything that you want to share from your heart.

CJ (01:54)
⁓ just I appreci I appreciate the opportunity. You know, I had I had to ⁓ reach out to you. ⁓ you know, you my mentor, you my big bro, so you know, I had these ⁓ had these issues and you know, I had to have to holler at you. You know what I'm saying? See see see if ⁓ there was something that I could do differently and ⁓ you know, just kinda kinda better myself at the end of the day.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (02:01)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. So yeah, man. So let's let's jump right into it, man. Let's let's let's go back to what we talking about, man. You can unpack it however you want to unpack it. Share from the heart, share what you were dealing with and how you felt. And and we can just take it from there. But let's start off with exactly why we're doing today's, you know, live and and and doing this episode, what brought this all about. ⁓ so yeah, man, just

CJ (02:29)
Mm-hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (02:49)
Just share the moment, share the experience, share the emotions, how you felt. Just yeah, roll with it.

CJ (02:52)
Yes. Yes.

So initially, you know, like I said, I I reached out to you ⁓ a few days few days ago. I have a I have a business, a retail business, and ⁓ you know, so I post you know flyers around Pasadena and stuff like that. ⁓ just to, you know, get a little flow, ⁓ get a little exposure. And ⁓ you know, so I

Treveal C.W. Lynch (03:03)
Mm-hmm.

CJ (03:20)
I took it to the to the gym that I go to and ⁓ I had it up there for you know it was up there for quite some time. ⁓ you know, I noticed that I had a little bit more traffic on my website and people messaging me and stuff like that. So I was like, okay, this is a good idea, you know. it's a it's a kind of a different way of like word of mouth. so you know, people just hit that QR code and bam, you in the website.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (03:50)
Mm-hmm.

CJ (03:50)
⁓

so cool. And ⁓ I noticed I didn't show up for a couple of days at the gym. usually when I when I have the kids and stuff like that and ⁓ suddenly it was just, you know, it was very little traffic. So I as soon as I got to the gym the the next opportunity, ⁓ I noticed noticed the the flyer, it was ⁓ it was on the ground. I'm like like okay, well maybe maybe it flew off, you know. Maybe

Treveal C.W. Lynch (04:12)
Okay.

Yeah.

CJ (04:19)
Something happened. Maybe a dog got to it. I don't know. But you know, something I'm thinking, okay, let me just give people the benefit of the doubt. And ⁓ you know, so I took it out after the went inside the gym and then came back. And ⁓ when I went to the car, I was like, you know what? I'm gonna post it back up on there. On the same spot. I was like, I'm gonna post it back on there. It it man, it shouldn't it that should tell the person if it was a person. ⁓ you know

Treveal C.W. Lynch (04:23)
Mm-hmm.

CJ (04:49)
Okay, I'ma leave it alone. He's trying to do his thing. You know, just something like that. So I was just like otherwise I felt like it was gonna be hate. So you know so I was just like, alright. So I I I have my glue already in the car. So I'm I'm putting glue all on it and stuck it back on there. And ⁓ it's just a little small wall. ⁓ it's in the parking lot, you know, it's not bothering nobody. It's just it's it's it's just

Treveal C.W. Lynch (04:58)
Right. Right.

Okay.

Okay.

CJ (05:18)
It's innocent, basically. It's an innocent flyer. And you know, I've seen previous people put stickers on there and put flyers on there and stuff like that. Like even like a I think it was like a scene of army like a ⁓ army or just like a recruiting ⁓ flyer. So I did that and ⁓ so I noticed that theirs wasn't their so I put it on there. ⁓ and then so the second time I did it, ⁓ came back to the gym like three days later and

Treveal C.W. Lynch (05:20)
Uh-huh. Right.

Okay. Okay.

Right. Okay.

CJ (05:48)
Again it was off. And they s it specifically left it on the ground. Again. And I'm like, okay, now you tryna tell me something. You know now now it's like you could have just threw it away. You could have just threw it away. You could there's a trash can right there, right down the stairs and you decided to just throw it on the ground. Like and leave it on there. So now I notice I noticed it was more traffic that day. I think it was like a Monday and ⁓

Treveal C.W. Lynch (05:57)
Right. Right.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

CJ (06:17)
I saw people just stepping all over it. I was I was sitting there just watching and and it kinda angered me. You know, and I was just like, so people's not even, you know, recognizing what they're stepping on. And, you know, to me it was like that's you stepping on me, you know, like and I I felt some type of way. So I did it again. I put it back on there and the third time that's when it I saw it again. Threw it on the ground and

Treveal C.W. Lynch (06:21)
Wow, right. Okay.

Hm. Okay.

CJ (06:47)
So I I went to the gym, try to try to cool off, and did about an hour, ⁓ twenty minutes, extra twenty minutes just to try to see see get rid of that that feeling and and then when I came back up I was like, you know what? Nah. Now I I'm pretty sure you you looking through my page now. So ⁓ I'm gonna go ahead and and say something. You know, so I was battling myself the whole time, driving home, trying to battle myself, make sure a I don't wanna post nothing, I don't wanna

Treveal C.W. Lynch (06:50)
Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

CJ (07:17)
sit here and you know, get out my lane and, you know, start flashing and getting all crazy, you know, I I don't wanna do that. You know, I didn't I didn't I didn't put up this this, you know, flyer for me to have any animosity or any f problem with issues with anybody. And ⁓ you know, I got to the house, I parked the car, and I just press record. I just yeah press record.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (07:19)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

CJ (07:47)
And I po I posted it actually to tell you the truth. I did the first video and that one that one was like a five minute rant. I was I was cussing up a storm. Mamas you know I was, you know, I was all on it. And but I recorded it the second time. I tried to calm down and ⁓ you know I got through it for the most part, but it was just I know it was out of my character.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (07:50)
Yeah.

Right. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

CJ (08:17)
especially, you know, the things how I what I'm trying to what I'm trying to do with my life. And it just kinda as soon as I posted it, it was like I was trying to force myself to say that it was a good idea.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (08:23)
Yeah.

Hm, okay.

CJ (08:35)
I was trying to force my my my mindset to say, you know, you did that. Yeah, yeah, that's cool. Let know. Let know what's happening. Let know what's up. You know. And if they got a problem we could we could we could solve that. You know, and it was just it was that was that anger. You know, I was so upset about it because, you know, that's my hard work and money that I I and I put effort into this, you know. ⁓

Treveal C.W. Lynch (08:46)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, man.

Yeah.

CJ (09:04)
I put a lot of time, money involved, and you know, I have I even have my kids involved in it, you know, trying to teach them how to get a business, you know, trying to teach them the start of of of how to do something. ⁓ you know, because I'm just a rookie to it and I'm just trying to do better. That's it. You know, so it felt like somebody was was stepping all over me. And that got me angry.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (09:14)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah man. You said a couple of things that I wanted to to really allow you to express more of because one thing I I know and notice, ⁓ you know, especially with anyone that's trying to do something, right? You you're expressing bettering yourself, starting a business, ⁓ doing things the right way. earlier you said

When you first started the story, I was just taking notes. I felt like when I saw people stepping on the flyer, I felt like they were stepping on me. And so one of the first things that I wanna want us to do as we as we provide solutions for other men that may be going through these same, these same things, feeling these same things. ⁓ it may not be a flyer, but there may be

men out there today that are feeling like their efforts are being stepped on. Their their their their progress is being stepped on or their goodwill is being stepped on. And that that really speaks to the way that we as humans, we whenever we experience something, we interpret something. And really the experience that we're having is based upon the interpretation.

CJ (10:41)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (11:00)
And the interpretation is built upon the meanings that we assign something. And for a lot of us, we didn't grow up learning about assignment of meanings and interpretations and emotional regulations and the nervous system and the way that the brain and the mind works and how we take in information. And so I think this is a great first thing or first subtopic for today.

CJ (11:05)
Mm-hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (11:28)
Because you assigned it a meaning without even really noticing it, maybe in that moment, because you were flared up in anger. So you associated, they're stepping on my flyer. This feels like they're stepping on me. And so in that moment, that was the let's just call it the reality or the space that you were operating from. this is they did something that is causing me to be stepped on.

So now I'm gonna act out, I'm gonna lash out, I'm gonna get back because the meaning that I'm giving this is you're stepping on me. Even though you're not physically, no one's physically stepping on you, but you feel like someone's literally stepping on your efforts. And so you begin to operate out of that interpretation and you begin to say things, think things, feel things, do things based upon that. And so take us through.

CJ (12:11)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (12:28)
more of what that felt like ⁓ as maybe you were picking it up off the ground, you were getting in your car. Is there anything else that you can recall that you were that you were feeling, that you were thinking that that was just coming up for you in that moment?

CJ (12:46)
⁓ well initially I was I was ⁓ I was thinking about going in the gym and then taking the mic, you know, 'cause they have a mic for the speakers, you know. And I was gonna say something. But you know, that was that was gonna be extra, of course. You know what I mean? I could have went to the possibility of getting arrested, you know, or having the police come by, you know, just going over there, just going in the front and grabbing the mic and just be like saying something. and then on top of that it's

Treveal C.W. Lynch (13:07)
Mm-hmm.

CJ (13:15)
the person's probably not even there. You know, I don't know when this happened. So that kind of like helped me calm down a little bit. But it was just I think it was just something that I wanted to I wanted to get back. You know, I wanted to I wanted to let them know that I ain't no punk. You know, I wanted to let them know that, you know, you affect them you affecting me now. Like you affecting my business and and what I'm trying to do.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (13:18)
Yeah. Hmm.

CJ (13:44)
And you don't even know me. You know, you ha you have n no slightest idea of who you doing this to. You know? And and the whole thing of it is is that I think the reason why another reason why I was so quick to to to get to this point and and post and and post this ⁓ this video was because the past thirty days I've been going through a whole bunch of stuff. You know.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (14:02)
Mm-hmm.

CJ (14:13)
⁓ dealing with court with my kids, ⁓ one of my kids and then my other kid I'm barely seeing. you know, so those the all that all that stuff that I was going through, you know, it kinda just built up. And that was like the last straw pretty much. You know, it was more of me kinda expressing to the world or expressing myself and I guess I felt bottled up and I didn't even know.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (14:15)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

CJ (14:41)
I didn't even know that. It was just more of like all I seen was red. You know, all I wanted to do was hit something. All I wanted to do was have a person sit there and say, I did it, and then you know, we get it on. Like win, lose, or draw. Like I just wanted to get it on at that moment. You know, so it was it was kinda like and I and I and like I said I forced myself, I forced myself to see that. I forced myself

Treveal C.W. Lynch (14:46)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

CJ (15:12)
Like I knew in the back of my mind, like maybe this is not a good idea. You know, and people that know me know that that's not I'm not the type of person to be like that. You know, so it was kinda like, nah, I I got something to say. And, you know, I i there was another thing too. I was going through with my couple of my friends, you know. I had had a little issues with them and it was just kinda like everything was just building up and I and I felt like

Treveal C.W. Lynch (15:15)
Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Okay.

CJ (15:41)
felt like people were taking my kindness for granted. You know, I felt like ⁓ I'm always I'm always the person to be like, okay, I'm I'm not gonna do nothing. I'm not gonna say nothing. You know, I'm gonna leave it alone. ⁓ you know, whether it's with my kids, with my friends, it it it just everything, you know, and it it felt like this is the business that I started from scratch.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (15:44)
Mm.

CJ (16:10)
I came up with this idea and, you know, it's been going well and for somebody to kinda like intrude in that in that space that I that I created it was it was like I felt like I had to defend it. You know, 'cause I could only defend certain things to an extent or to a point, you know, whether it would be my kids or family, ⁓ or friends, you know, it's

Treveal C.W. Lynch (16:11)
Hm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

CJ (16:40)
But with this it was kinda like, nah, I'm not I'm not taking this BS. I'm not I'm not I'm not finna take this. Like, no. And it just spiraled from there.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (16:45)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, man. Yeah. Use key words spiral. Yeah. Because as as I'm listening to you, ⁓ and I think this is what a lot of us, you know, deal with. I I know I've certainly dealt with it. You know, as we say, when it rains, it pours. ⁓ sort of that taking taking one thing that in a vacuum, maybe it's not that big of a deal. Like like say if if life was just life

CJ (16:56)
Yeah yeah.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (17:22)
As far as you know it, right? 'Cause because reality is happening on the inside, right? Like we we now understand through neuroscience that it's like we're not we're not really seeing life really as as it truly is, but it's more of a internal projection. And so as far as you understand, if life was going perfect, but your flyer was on the ground, maybe, and I'm just asking you, maybe.

your reaction wouldn't have been so dramatic. But as you said, as I took note of, this had been building up. Almost like pressure, right? It's is building up in a pipe. Like pressure in a pipe, steam in a pipe. It's building, it's building, it's building, it's building. And this is like, in a sense, your last straw. Like the the straw that breaks the right back, right? It's like this is the last straw. So I think that's important for us to understand.

CJ (17:52)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

It is Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (18:18)
That as we learn how to overcome anger, ⁓ and how we can overcome some of these emotions that cause us to just maybe do something that maybe we regret or we don't really, you know, wanna do, or we kind of look back and we reflect like you did, it's like it that's not really that that's not really true of my character. That was like a moment that I had, but it really wasn't who I am. as you stated earlier, because looking at what you what

What you were saying was I felt taken for granted by some of my friends, the other issues deal dealing with the kids in court, ⁓ feeling feeling like stepped on, like you were stepped on, feeling like there was an intrusion of your business. The you said earlier the business was going well. This person intruded. Now, as we add value to the to the listening audience, right? Those who are watching, those who are listening.

CJ (19:01)
Yeah.

Mm. Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (19:17)
I want to sort of insert some things in here as we continue with the story. ⁓ so if we take a step back, everything was feeling based. So one thing that we I mean, and I know that you know this, right? But this is something that we want to continue to remind brothers of is that emotions are what they are, but we then use the emotions.

To prompt whatever we're gonna prompt. So a emotion, anger, for example, we entitle this overcoming anger, but really anger is nothing to overcome. Anger in and of itself is neither good nor bad. It's just how you utilize it because every emotion is just an informant. It's informing you of something. So in this case, when we're triggered and we're feeling angry, one of the things that we can do, and I'm just sort of like

organically trying to bake in some of this solution and bake in some of these things that that brothers can take away from it is like w whenever we're experiencing an emotion, w whatever the emotion is, ⁓ understanding that it's pointing to something. So the emotion in and of itself is pointing CJ to take notice of something. I always say whenever you talk about emotions, think of them as informants. They're informing you of something deeper.

They're pointing to something deeper. And so it's taking the stance of curiosity. What is this pointing me to? What is this informing me of? What should I take notice of? One of the reasons why that's so important, man, is that when we become curious about discovering and understanding what the emotion is pointing to, it buys us time to not have to pop off.

And do something that maybe we regret or something that we look back on and say, Man, damn, I wish I wouldn't have done that. I wish I wouldn't have said that. I wish I wouldn't have took it there. Sometimes it's just a little gap of time. That's why ⁓ when people are all hype, they say, Hey, take 10 deep breaths. All that 10 deep, there's nothing magical about the 10 deep breaths. The only thing that the 10 deep breaths does is it gives you time. It buys you back time.

There are so many men that are locked up right now in prison, so many men that are dead in the grave because they didn't have any time between the emotion and the reaction. So even, and this is kind of going to the second point, and I want you to unpack that ⁓ some more for us. As you were getting in the car and you were driving home, you stated that you were wrestling with.

How am I gonna, right? Like you were like checking with yourself. How am I gonna deal with this? How am I gonna approach this? What is this gonna look like? What is this gonna be like? You actually had time. But maybe what what you weren't putting into practice at that time was the leveraging of the curiosity with the knowledge that yes, I am angry. I am right now, currently.

CJ (22:18)
Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (22:43)
Pissed off. You become a observer of the emotion. Yep, I am CJ. I am pissed. And now what does that mean? Buying that time. It doesn't make the thing go away. But what it does is it gives you time to begin to maybe analyze a little better and have a better conversation with yourself, a a more quality conversation with yourself before continuing to to react. So take us through that ride home.

CJ (23:10)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (23:14)
What was the ride home in terms of why do you think you were able to leave from the gym, get all the way home, and still record the video?

CJ (23:26)
think it was just

I think it was just more me trying to prove a point. ⁓ I wanted I wanted to prove a point to somebody and I I thought about the consequences. I thought about what was going w how I was gonna look. because, you know, I most most days I'm posting scriptures, I'm posting positivity on my on my page and I thought about that.

And I was like, I don't care. Like, you know, I was just like, nah, we we not today. We we not posting that today. And it was just like I was battling that within myself. ⁓ I was even thinking like, I know I know for a fact that I'm gonna be on here cussing. I'm gonna be on here mad as hell and

My mama followed me. Sorry mom. I didn't mean to cuss, but you know, it was just it was just like it was it over it I let it overcome me. ⁓ you know and I I invited that because that's at that time that's what I wanted. And it it's it it didn't overpower, it was more like the I I invited it. I invited the the anger to to to feel it.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (24:31)
Yeah. Right.

Mm-hmm.

CJ (24:59)
I invited I invited it to to take over and to and to you know prove a point. And at at the end of the day it was like I didn't prove no point to nobody. I it's I saw that at the end. But during that car ride it was like, ⁓ yeah, somebody finna get it today. Somebody somebody finna feel it today. You know? Like I I was ready. I was ready.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (25:07)
Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yeah, man. Yeah. Well, listen, man, like I said, ⁓ and maybe we should have set this up a little better in the beginning, but hey man, we living, we learning. ⁓ so one of the things for anyone who's watching, anyone who's listening, one of the things that we want to do with this with this platform, 'cause me and CJ are gonna be doing this a lot more and a lot more often.

is we basically want to have these conversations where we bake in coaching, right? So I'm a certified ⁓ life coach, but I've refined that to be more of a leadership capacity coach. And ⁓ I've been mentoring CJ for for years. and so we have this relationship. I mean, he's truly my brother, ⁓ but in respect to how he sees me as a mentor, we've had this relationship dynamic for quite some time. And so we just thought it would be a good idea for us to

begin podcasting together and just having these kinds of conversations where I can in a sense coach live. ⁓ he's not my client by by by by any means. ⁓ but just the dynamics, we thought it would be pretty cool to begin to have conversations where coaching can get baked in. And so you'll see me at times kind of coach him up a little bit, but it's really he's benefiting from it in real time, but it's also to provide content as coaching content for any men

out there that may be going through the same thing. So that that's really the dynamic that we're that we're creating here. And so as we go through this, ⁓ we'll just kind of pause and we'll have kind of some little coaching tips here and there, but we'll continue on with the story. because it's through our stories, it's through our struggles and through our suffering that we connect with one another and men can understand that there's other men who understand. So that's really what we're doing here. So wanted to

really put that out there and we'll do a better job going forward with kind of level setting when we start the podcast to let you guys know that's what we're doing. ⁓ so going back man, going back to what you were saying about ⁓ just wanting to let ⁓ to let them know ⁓ and and and to kind of get your get back. And you said something interesting. You say, you know, that's I'm not posting that today. You know, more of that positivity stuff. And

What I think is important for us to kind of pause and really call out for men is that, and I want to hear from you on this, is that many times we will let's let's call it break character. Normally, six days a week, we're posting scripture, positive affirmations, quotes from other famous people that have said positive things. But today, nah, get that out of here.

Today I'm pissed. Today we about to do this. Today, somebody gonna know I ain't the one to mess with. Today we're gonna pause on the positivity and we're gonna do this thing, right? ⁓ without without, and this is not my intention, right? With without giving men permission, I don't have to we don't have to give you permission. You you're you're a man, you're gonna do whatever you're gonna do anyway. But without, in a sense, the intention of giving you permission to wild out and do your thing.

CJ (28:26)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (28:46)
I think it is something that should be noted that there is no character to break. Like there is no I'm this person. So if I do something that I deem not good, not positive, something I'm ashamed of, like, I guess what what I'm saying is is that it's good for us as men to understand that you're

not bound to this walk of perfection and walk of a particular character, that when you sidestep that character or you step out of that character, that that all of a sudden now makes you this bad person, makes you this sinful person for our faith community. You're not backsliding. You haven't disappointed God. You haven't, you haven't become some bad dude now.

That needs to be self-condemned, and now you need to, in a sense, win back your place with God or win back your place just in society. And sometimes you just want to dump on yourself forever. I think it's worthy of saying one of the best ways that we can begin to overcome these emotions that we don't really like, and how we can begin to, you know, deal with this this whole.

you know, feeling of regret when we're attempting to get back at somebody is by understanding that you are very much a human, which means that you are very much subject to the emotional roller coaster that we all ride, and that the only label and definition that you have to endure is the one that you place on yourself.

Like I I got this cup of coffee right here. And I got this when I went to Hawaii. This Kai coffee. There's a label on here. I can't scratch that label off. I can't get that label off. It's permanent. Some of you brothers out there, and I want to hear your take on this, CJ. Some of you brothers out here, you've put a label on yourself in silence, in secrecy.

No one else knows about it. But you've, like this says Kai Coffee, if we were to look at your internal concept of who you believe you are, you've done something or said something at some point in your life, and now you've labeled yourself internally, permanently, whatever. You fill in the blank, bro. Whatever that is for you, bro, you fill in the blank. But you've labeled yourself something that's less than who God created you to be. And now you're.

Stuck with that label. I didn't give it to you. CJ didn't give it to you. Your mama and them didn't give it to you. You gave it to yourself because of the way you felt about what you did at one point in your life. And now you've been locked up in this self-induced prison because you've labeled yourself this. And all we're saying to you is that label is up to you. Anytime you want to peel that label off, you can. Anytime you want to do away with that label, you can.

You're the only one that can put it on there. You're the only one that can take it off. We're all going to make mistakes. We're all going to miss the mark. We're all going to, for our faith community that's listening, we're all going to sin. We're all going to fall short of the glory of God. However you name it and frame it. We're all going to do that, bro. But you're the only one that can let yourself out that cage, man. Because ain't nobody else put you in it. And ain't nobody else responsible for taking you out of it. So I just want to hear from you, man. What

What did you feel? Because you already alluded to it. I was taking notes. Once you did it, once you posted it, because take us through this. Because you made one video you said, cussing up a storm, like a five minute video you said. But then something must have happened within you, bro. Something must have happened for you to then record a second one. Because God knows social media loves that, loves that smoke.

CJ (33:06)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (33:06)
Social media

loves that smoke. You probably would have went viral off that one, right? But something in you said, No, let me record a more dialed down version. Take us through that process, man.

CJ (33:09)
Ha ha ha.

⁓

well it was just ⁓ the way after going on and on, it was just like I I stopped it and then I was about to post it and then I was just like, nah that's that's too long and you know, I'm just I'm just going a hundred miles an hour at this point. You know, so I was just I recognized that, so that's why I was just like, Okay, hold on. Like let's make it make sense.

If you gon this, like let's let's make it make sense and and kinda put some humor towards it a little bit because honestly, that's I was kinda reaching towards the humor part ⁓ of of the whole little I thought it was funny, to be honest. I thought it was funny, but everybody like messaged me after the fact it was like, Are you okay? Like, is somebody messing with you? Like, you know, like I was just like, wait, what? Like

So it was just kind of when I did the five minute video, I was just like, you know what, scratch that. I need to make a point. And I need them to understand where I'm coming from. You know, so that's when I I made it a a priority to say, okay, look, like this is my business. It's you're affecting my business. And like you don't even know me. And you and you're hating.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (34:41)
Mm-hmm.

Anyway.

CJ (34:44)
Like h how is that possible?

You know, it it's it's mind-boggling to me how people can sit there and not not even know you and just can't wait to to hate on you, can't wait to be negative with you, and it's like that's crazy to me, you know. So I felt like I had to put them in their place. I felt like they had to look in the mirror and say, Man, yeah, I look stupid.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (35:06)
Mm.

CJ (35:12)
You know, I wanted to I wanted to make sure that I reached them and say, Look how stupid you look. For you to do this. Like it took a one second emotion wh whi whatever you were going through. You just decided like this was a good idea for you to just rip my my stuff off and and just throw it on the ground. Like you thought it was a good idea. And so

Treveal C.W. Lynch (35:18)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

CJ (35:39)
I'm I'm here to let you know that it wasn't. And you know, if you I wanted to fix the problem. I wanted to fix his issue. You know? And and it could have been it could have been a little kid playing. It could have been it could have been a woman.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (35:43)
Mm-hmm.

Right. Right.

CJ (35:58)
It could have been it could have been the city cleaning up the parking lot. It could have been it it was just a multiple multiple

Treveal C.W. Lynch (35:58)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

CJ (36:11)
options that that was there that I was just like, okay, I need to kind of maneuver this a bit different. But it was still the anger that was just like, nah, it was somebody. It was somebody that was hating. That's that was in my mind. It was somebody that was hating. For them to do this three times. So it was like, okay, nah, I need to let them know what's what's going on. So

Treveal C.W. Lynch (36:16)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

CJ (36:39)
Yeah, at the end of it it was just kinda like I did I did regret it but it was like at the same time it's like whatever.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (36:46)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. So let me ask you this cause this you you brought up two excellent points that we coach about. The first one was ⁓

You mentioned, which I think is excellent. It could have been the city. It could have been a kid. It could have been a woman. It could have been. It could have been. One of the things that's so important when it comes to overcoming high levels of, you know, you know, high high charged ⁓ emotions, the desire for payback and get back. Just when we're worked up, when we're really riled up and and and and we're

We're on the brink of doing something that we might regret. Is considering what else could this mean? Like that's a power question. Like there is psychology behind that. That that is a power question. Literally, when I was being certified as a coach, that was literally one of the qu what else could this mean? How many words is that? What else could this mean? Okay, five words. We're gonna have to coin that. Five words that can

CJ (37:42)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (38:02)
Settle your butt down. I don't know. We're gonna come up with something, right? We we're gonna make that a whole method right there. The five minute calm down method. What else could this mean? That's powerful because you actually practiced it. That's what we actually coach. What else could this mean? The reason being is because you don't know.

CJ (38:10)
Move. Yeah. It is.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (38:25)
Like lean into that. You don't know. It could have been the wind. You don't know. You know how powerful that revelation is? I'm mad, I'm angry, I'm pissed, I'm gonna let somebody know. Homie, you don't know. Now, when you know you know, as we say in the culture, if you know you know.

CJ (38:49)
Yeah. Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (38:54)
But in this

context, you don't know. So it's almost like, dude, how dare you get to a level 10 emotionally? We ain't judging you, but it's like a self like a self-assessment. How dare I get to a 10 on the anger scale when I'm missing a major part of the puzzle? A piece of the puzzle is missing. It's like going into a court case, and you're gonna.

CJ (38:58)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (39:24)
Persecute someone without evidence. Well, I I just feel he's guilty. Well, why do you think he's guilty? he was the first person I looked at. Really? Really? That's what we're doing? Just the first person you look at. You're making a case in your mind with no evidence. A judge would laugh you out of court.

CJ (39:42)
Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (39:52)
Because the first question they're gonna ask you is, how come you charging this person with it? Well, Your Honor, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That that's that's lawyer talk one on one. Why are you trying to put this person behind bars? You need evidence. So what if we as men looked at our internal state of being as a court case, a courtroom? And the very first thing we gotta ask ourselves is do I have evidence? Where's my evidence?

CJ (39:56)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (40:21)
I'm about to go off and make a pissed off video for five minutes and rant. And I'm not talking down on you, I'm just keeping it in the context. I'ma go, I'ma go rant for five minutes being someone I don't really want to be based upon little to no evidence.

CJ (40:28)
No, no, no.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (40:43)
And in hindsight, when it all makes sense, it always makes sense after the fact.

CJ (40:47)
Yeah, so do ⁓

Treveal C.W. Lynch (40:49)
It it it could been the wind, it could have been the girl, it could

have been a child, it could have been a city, it could have been ⁓ a well let's re let's let's reverse engineer that. How powerful of a man will you be when it becomes a natural practice for you that when you get angered the next time, that the first thing you do is you say, Where's my evidence? And then the next thing you do is what else could this be?

CJ (40:55)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (41:18)
And then the next thing you do is, how else could I approach this? And the next thing you do is, what's the next meaning that I could assign this without it being someone stepping on me and someone's intruding my business and someone's doing something to me? How could I flip that and make something that I assign as a meaning work for me and not against me? How how can I leverage this moment to do something that's gonna benefit me versus break me further down?

Because you were already going through it with the courts and with the kids and with the other stuff and with the friends. You were already going through it. How can I leverage this in a way that's gonna make me feel better and do better and look better to me? Cause the way other people look at you don't don't mean nothing. But how can you paint a better picture of yourself through the very problem that you're facing? So that's another thing that we can do. ⁓

CJ (42:05)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (42:16)
Let me ask you about this. You said somebody, taking my notes. Speak more about this concept. You needed to correct them. You you needed to I'm trying to find the right words. somebody ⁓ I had to put them in their place. That's what it was. Okay. Speak to that as as a man. Wha why why do you think men typically most sum.

CJ (42:38)
Mm-hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (42:45)
men, I 'cause I hate general terms 'cause all men don't do this, but why do you think some of us as men feel we need to put people in their in their place? Who where do you think that comes from?

CJ (43:03)
I would have to say pride you know just the pride in yourself you felt I I felt like you know I was being taken advantage of I felt like you know like I wasn't being listened to I wasn't being heard and it was like I I wanted to take control of it you know I wanted to sit there and and make a make a point make an example out of it

and you know not to touch my stuff, you know, not to mind your business. You know, and i it was it was pride. It was it was total pride in me. I was just I let that pride get get angered. Get that get that control and I guess it was just more of being masculine being like

just kinda like a barbaric like I don't care, I'm just gonna rip up everything and I'm just whoever it is, I'm gonna rip them up and you know, show that you know, not to touch my stuff no more. You know, it was just it was it was yeah, I would have to say it was major pride.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (44:24)
Do you feel or think that there's been times in your life where someone has taken advantage of you, touch let's let's touch your stuff, done you wrong, ⁓ yeah.

CJ (44:47)
Absolutely.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (44:48)
Can

you can you share? You ain't gotta go super deep or whatever, but just can you share as much as comf as much as you're comfortable, can you share either a childhood moment or a younger moment where this this kind of played out in your life where it's like, yeah, man, someone touched my stuff. Someone, someone intruded, someone, someone.

did something to me that I I felt like I didn't at that time have the ability to

CJ (45:21)
Hmm. Yeah, I'll have to

Treveal C.W. Lynch (45:21)
Fill in the blank.

CJ (45:26)
for that. I would have to say I think what recently you know went on with ⁓ my good friends, you know, ⁓ taking advantage of my kindness. ⁓ you know, I'm always I'm the type of person that's always there for people. You know, when someone calls me, family member, friend, I'm dropping everything.

You know, or I'm tryna if you give me a moment, I'm there for you. You know, so without without no hesitation. I'm not, you know, looking for anything in return. I'm not looking for validation. I'm not looking for your friendship. I'm not I I'm I'm just it's just natural that I wanna be there to help. you know, so it was just

Treveal C.W. Lynch (46:15)
Mm-hmm.

CJ (46:23)
the things that I was doing for them throughout and it and it just it panned out in my mind like throughout all these years I've shown my worth. I shown I show my work to this friendship. I show my work to this relationship and you so quick to just forget about me. You so quick to just like he don't mind it's okay I

Treveal C.W. Lynch (46:44)
Mm-hmm.

CJ (46:51)
You know, I've done it before. I'm it's it's fine. He's cool with it. You know, because I never said anything. And I just kept doing it, kept doing it, kept being there. Okay, I guess. And I s you know, I obviously I started getting tired of it. But it was just more like, hey, you know, these are my peoples. You know, let me let me I I I'm a lookout for You know, I'm you know, I'm be there for

Treveal C.W. Lynch (46:59)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Hmm.

CJ (47:21)
You know, and so I started when I s when I got to that point, you know, like this past thirty days, it was just like it was all like coming at once and it was just like, Okay, well I feel like if I if I let this person who I don't even know, I'm letting them know my feelings. But I can't even let my own friends know, or I can't let my own family know what I'm feeling, you know.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (47:25)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

CJ (47:49)
how how it's being reciprocated and how it's being in a a return. Not that I wanted something in exchange. I didn't want, I didn't want anything in exchange. I just wanted like acknowledgement of what I'm doing. You know, an understanding of what I'm doing. ⁓ So it was just like, so I that's where I felt like, okay, well you know what? Now I need to let my friends know what I'm feeling.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (47:58)
Yeah.

CJ (48:16)
And I took it to that point where, you know, I reached out to them and I told you know, what what took place. Because they knew I was distant. They felt it. Cause I I stopped texting. I stopped answering the calls. I stopped y I went that whole time, like two or three weeks, and they didn't hear from me. So they knew something was wrong. You know, so when I had that opportunity, you know, I approached them, but I approached it a different way.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (48:23)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

CJ (48:46)
I didn't approach it the same way that I was on this rant, you know, because obviously I care about these people. Obviously they they they family, you know. I grew up with them, so it was just kinda like I had to I had to sit there and, you know, just come come to grips and say, Hey, I need to speak up for myself. I need I need to ha help help them understand where I'm coming from too. You know, it's not it's not just

Treveal C.W. Lynch (48:55)
Yeah.

CJ (49:15)
I can't just let it keep taking advantage of, being taken advantage of. So and, you know, by the grace of God it was

It was accepted.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (49:27)
Hm. Yeah.

CJ (49:29)
I was surprised, you know, that that that happened. The the return that I got, the information that I got, the the response that I got, it was I didn't expect it. I expected us to get into an argument or I expected us to keep fighting or something like that, you know? to the point where it was just gonna be like, alright, just drop it. Just forget it. But it was it was it was awakening for me.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (49:31)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, man.

Mm.

Yeah.

CJ (49:59)
'Cause you know, I was able to be heard and it felt good. I mean there was it was a wrong way how I said it of course, ⁓ in certain ways, you know, because we're still trying to prove a point. But

I still felt like like it just needed to be said, you know. And I just hope that they understood that it wasn't bad bad intentions towards towards the feeling or or what I felt. It was just this is the honest way of how I felt.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (50:22)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mhm. Y you said something interesting there. you you you stated, you know, feel like I was heard. ⁓

Talk to that a little bit more. Have you in the past felt like you haven't been heard or like your voice hasn't been taken serious or like you had no voice? Has that ever come up for you in the past where you either felt like you didn't have a voice, you felt like what you were saying wasn't being taken serious, or like you just didn't have an ability to voice something that would create change?

CJ (51:19)
Yeah, I I didn't I didn't have confidence in it. I didn't have no confidence in in the things that I that I you know, thought about. the issues that I that I have with people. ⁓ I like we were talking about earlier before we got on the mic, w I I wanna my best to avoid confrontation. Because when I get into confrontation

Treveal C.W. Lynch (51:23)
Okay.

CJ (51:50)
Anger gets it's over. You know, I blackout, I'm upset, ⁓ you know, you no longer my friend. It's it's just seeing red, you know? and it it you turn it to the point where you don't care about people. You don't care about yourself, you don't care who you hurt, you know, you don't care all you know is that you wanna you wanna end this, you know. So it was that's

Treveal C.W. Lynch (51:59)
Yeah.

Yeah.

CJ (52:21)
I I try my best to avoid the confrontation. ⁓ so that's the reason why I don't say so something. That's the reason why I don't I don't speak my mind. Because I feel like the way that I say things sometimes it could interpret as in like, hold on, who you talking to? You know, like I I don't when I get angry, I talk to people a different way and they gon' they're gonna feel the anger. You know, so it's it's kinda it's ⁓

Treveal C.W. Lynch (52:24)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

CJ (52:52)
I rather avoid that so I keep it to myself.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (52:54)
Mm-hmm.

So even through the because that makes sense. Let me just first validate that. That makes sense. Like you, you're it's a protection mechanism. It's I'm protecting them from, in a sense, feeling my wrath. And I'm protecting myself from what comes from them feeling my wrath. Like if I lash out, they they they take it as I'm coming off crazy.

CJ (53:10)
Mm-hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (53:24)
they're gonna respond or the relationship's gonna end or like whatever the the reaction from my reaction is, I wanna go ahead and avoid that because I don't want to experience that. And so it makes total sense that it's more of a protective mechanism. And so what what I would ask you is why do you think so right now your current way of

CJ (53:37)
Yeah. Yep.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (53:53)
Addressing anger is I know myself well enough to know that when I get to that point, it's it's gonna be all red. Nothing's good is gonna come of that. So that's so that's a level of self-awareness. Now the next level of self-awareness is being aware of why anger has that kind of control over you.

Because if we go back to what we were talking about earlier, right? Emotions are not good nor bad. They are what they are until we charge them with energy. So the anger in and of itself, anger is not a bad thing, anger is not a good thing. Anger becomes whatever you desire it to be because of other contributing factors. So the next level of awareness is

CJ (54:32)
Yes.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (54:48)
What do you think is at the root of why your anger is in a sense either, you know, something that you can't control or something that you try to avoid at all costs rather than anger being something that you partner with, that you embrace, that you as I was taught during coaching, right? We don't eliminate

We integrate. So anger is something that right now you're currently, anger for you is I eliminate it because I know what it can cause me to do, say, and think. But how can we begin to integrate the anger into your life so that it's not something that you avoid and it's not something that you continue to try to sidestep because the the very thing that you look to avoid and sidestep is the very thing that you're going continue to find yourself wrapped up in.

Because whenever we're trying to avoid something, we're actually promoting its importance within our own lives. So the less and less you try to avoid it, and the more and more you see it as something that naturally occurs and that's extremely controllable based on the way you approach it. Currently, what are you thinking is ⁓ almost like the energy be behind the anger? Like, like what do you think?

What areas in your life or things that you feel like within yourself you may need to consider addressing that's that's making the anger something that you can't control right now.

CJ (56:31)
so I think it's as men, you know, we tend to I mean a lot of times we don't we don't think about what's gonna happen once we flip out and stuff like that but as men we have this we have this thing where it's like I'ma chill for a second you know I'm I'm a I'ma chill for a second but then it's it's it's boiling up and we hold it in.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (56:36)
Mm-hmm.

CJ (57:01)
And we and we think about it day and night. It goes through day and night of thinking about it. Thinking about it. Then another problem comes. Now you thinking about that pro okay, I'm gonna chill. Thinking about it day and night, day and night. It just it just it all boils up. It all boils up and we're not we're not talking to nobody. We're not reaching out to nobody, we just keeping it all inside and not saying nothing to nobody until it's till it pops off.

You popping off on somebody. Till till something happens, you know, and then then it's uncontrollable. Then it's everywhere. Then it's because of this, because of that, and this and this and this and then and then you you all over the place. You know, so and then people like, what are you talking about? You know, everybody's looking at you like you crazy. Because we tend as men, we don't wanna we don't want the confrontation. Like

Treveal C.W. Lynch (57:39)
Mm-hmm.

Yep.

Mm-hmm.

CJ (58:01)
Most men sit there and say, you know, I ain't gonna start it, but I'll finish it. You know, y that's that's that's pretty much what what we are and we try to sit here and and hide those things. We try to sit there and say, like, okay, we'll we'll get over it, you know, we'll we'll let it pass. It'll be cool. And ⁓ and the and you don't even know in the back of your mind it's still there. And that's that's what I recognize like once I started talking to everybody, once I started letting it out.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (58:04)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

CJ (58:31)
And I started, you know, looking into myself, I was like, like, I sounded crazy to in my perspective, my own perspective. not to anybody else. I mean, they all gonna have their opinions, but you know, to me it was like, damn, I I was looking crazy this whole time when I could have just sat there and reached out to somebody and, you know, kinda ex explained where I was coming from. ⁓

You know, or even if I would have had those conversations with my friends before this happened, I probably would have never made that video. Because that the instances with my friends was like it was more heartbreaking to me. You know, and it it it affected me a lot. And I just didn't know how to say it. I just didn't know how to communicate it to them. And it was I just let it boil it up all inside. So I think it was I think the

Treveal C.W. Lynch (59:14)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

CJ (59:29)
The communication that men need to have is is key. It's key. And you know, to like you said, the question What could this mean? You know, what could this possibly what is the other options that this could mean for me? ⁓ that I need to work on. And after all that happened,

Treveal C.W. Lynch (59:31)
Mm.

Mm-hmm.

CJ (59:58)
The next day. Even that same day. That same day I came I came in the house. I started working. And I turned on Darius Daniels. Turned on Darius Daniels. And he was doing a Bible study for Wednesday. And I was ⁓ I was listening to it and he just like I had to pause it, I had to turn it off because he was talking to me. And I was like, I can't, yeah, like this this this is God right here.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:00:23)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

CJ (1:00:28)
You know, and he gave me he gave me this business to do and here I am getting mad over somebody that I don't even know. And I'm trying to give you a business and help you expand. And you're tripping off these little things that you could have went about it a totally different way.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:00:41)
Hmm.

Mm.

CJ (1:00:51)
and I'm trying to give you mu more but you can't even be a manager of this little. You can't even manage the things that you have that's that's you haven't even started. You you're you're barely starting this. And you already ranting and raving all on the internet and doing all this extra stuff. Imagine if you had five thousand people and then ten thousand people or a hundred thousand people and

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:01:05)
Mm.

CJ (1:01:19)
You go from this person to the totally flip. Like they gonna condemn you. They're gonna sit there and your name gonna get bad and all this other stuff. Like it turns out, you know, to be worse for over a little, little small problem. That you could have gone about it a totally different way. And right now it's like I have a whole thing that I could have said differently.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:01:34)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

CJ (1:01:49)
I could have went about it differently. And that's why I thank God the the the people that I do have in my life, the the mentors that I have in my life, you know, ⁓ the things that I seek out for myself to try to better myself. you know, the i we always we'll look on YouTube, we'll look on YouTube to to better our golf swing. We'll look on YouTube to better our basketball shot.

We'll look on YouTube to try to start a business or how to start a business. But we won't look on YouTube to how to keep our marriage. We won't look on YouTube to how to how to be a better person. You know, we don't look on YouTube for those things. You know, the how to keep a relationship, how to be respectful to people. But we don't we don't because you know, if they ain't respectful to me, I ain't gonna be respectful to them.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:02:25)
Yeah.

Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

CJ (1:02:50)
How does that go? How does that work out? So it was just more me like, okay, I need in order for me to better myself, I have to do the job too. I have to do the work. I can't just wait for it to come to me. You know, so that's the reason why I reached out to you. I reached out to you and I was like, I need you to look at this. I don't know if you looked at it, but I need you to look at this and we need to talk, you know?

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:02:53)
Right. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah. Right. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean I I I know your character, so I I know, you know, I I I saw it and I said I'm not I'm not gonna like it. I'm not gonna comment, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna interact with it because I don't want because if you do anything to it, that creates interpretation. Any action creates interpretation. So I said, I'm gonna not touch it at all.

CJ (1:03:32)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:03:49)
And I'm gonna see where this goes for him. So as a man that loves you, I know you didn't do something that was gonna like it wasn't life defining, if I can put it that way. Like, so I didn't see it as something like, okay, I gotta reach out because he's about to go to jail, or let me reach out because he's about to get killed. Like it wasn't like that.

CJ (1:04:02)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:04:15)
So I said,

okay, this falls into the category of let's see how he deals with it. And so when you reached out, I was like, yeah, I've got my two cents, but my two cents is gonna always be redeeming. Because, like I told you when I first reached out, it's like the very things that we sometimes condemn ourselves for are the very things that we can then utilize to do the most good with.

Like we're having this conversation. I'm looking at the timer. We've been talking about this for an hour. Somebody's being positively influenced because you made a mistake. If that's what you call it. I'm not calling it a mistake. I'm just calling it something CJ did. So it's like if you what like however you label it, bro, the reason we're talking today is because you did that. So someone's benefiting from what you did.

CJ (1:04:53)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:05:12)
⁓ we always have that redemptive power, authority. We can either do something that we're not proud of and leave it as it is, or we can do something that we're not proud of and then we can leverage it to be of service to others. We always got that option, you know.

CJ (1:05:34)
Yeah. Yeah. And that's that's

what I felt that's what I felt that I needed to do. You know, make it as a leverage to to better not only myself, but maybe somebody who who's in a similar position, you know, and that that kinda like I was vul vulnerable and kinda second guessing this, ⁓ you know, doing it like this, but it was I just felt like it needed it.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:05:57)
Mm-hmm.

CJ (1:06:02)
it it needed to be addressed like this. because I can put these things and post these things on my Instagram about positivity and all this other stuff and then I get on here and I snap. People are looking at me like, I guess you're not this I guess you not this golly man that you say you are. But that's the point. That's the point. I I

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:06:26)
Mm-hmm.

CJ (1:06:32)
I make mistakes. I'm not perfect. I'm not perfect and I'm not trying to be perfect. That's the point. I'm I'm not trying to be perfect. I'm not I'm not that I'm not that guy. You just not I'm I make mistakes. But that's that's the reason of me posting these things, these positive things, but not be not to I mean it is helpful to help people. I I that's always been my dream and my goal. But mainly these posts is to

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:06:33)
Yes.

Mm-hmm.

CJ (1:07:01)
is what I'm feeling. Is what I what I'm looking to be. Is what I'm looking to think. These these these posts are for me. Like it it's it's to to train my mind to see this. So then when these issues come about, I'm already I'm already strapped. I'm I'm already equipped. You know, I'm already I I see this problem coming so let me

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:07:06)
Mm. Yeah. ⁓

Yeah. Yeah.

CJ (1:07:31)
Let me maneuver this way. I remember what was said like, okay, I I remember I went through this conversation with my big bro. You know, I I remember okay, now let me I can maneuver this way this time.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:07:39)
Mm-hmm.

CJ (1:07:46)
And that's that's that's what I saw.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:07:49)
Yeah man. Yep. Yeah. There there's a lot of you've come a long, long, long way, man. Come a long way. As as we all have. That tone should not be I'm big bro and I'm guru and I'm noticing all of these qualities in you. So now I'm, you know, I'm I'm I'm here to enlighten you that you have grown.

CJ (1:08:03)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:08:18)
No, bro. It it's we're we're all on our journey, right? But it's but but it is a call out, it is a compliment to say that because I have been, you know, we've we've been on this journey for some time now, I can see where you've come from. Right. So when my mentors tell me that, that makes me feel good. 'Cause I'm like, you know, when they say, Hey man, I see you growing, yeah. So it should never be taken as the guru on high giving you s no, but it's like, bro

CJ (1:08:21)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:08:48)
I just on some real talk, man, you you you you sound different, you look different, you move different. ⁓ and so to anybody out there, man, to any any brother that's listening, watching live or on the replay, ⁓ I've seen this brother grow. I've seen this brother grow. This conversation that we're having today, we wouldn't be having 10 years ago. ⁓ but it it's it's is he's putting in the work, as we say. I mean, he and I both, I don't know.

CJ (1:08:56)
Yeah.

It's

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:09:17)
Is your favorite player Kobe? Okay, yeah. So so we even got that in common. Favorite player of all time. Our GOAT is is is is Kobe Bean Bryant. ⁓ and he he's he's famous for saying, man, it's like putting in the work, man. You know, I was I was bro, I was just watching a video of of him yesterday. Cause I'll I'll literally go on YouTube like you're talking about going on YouTube. I'll I'll I'll just look up Kobe, you know, because people make like

CJ (1:09:19)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:09:45)
like motivational inspirational videos of of of just like little clips. And dude, he got a million Jews, man. Just a million Jews. Where he just, and all of them almost sound the same. If you lazy, get the get the hell away from me. If you ain't gonna put the work in, get out the gym. If you ain't gonna show up at 3 a.m. just don't even talk to me. Like I love he wanted to win. And for men

CJ (1:09:46)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:10:13)
the game of life. Like we want to win, but we also have to put the work in. And the work that we are taught many times is the work of bossing people around, ⁓ controlling everything, manipulating everything, cutthroat, getting what we want at any cost, get rich or die trying. I wish he never made that album. He he has some he has some tracks or or whatever the kids call it nowadays. Like he has some bars, but

CJ (1:10:16)
Yeah. Yep.

Yes. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:10:43)
That title, man, dang it. That that's just the wrong mentality because too often he escaped it, but there are sadly too many brothers who are literally dying, actually in the freaking grave, trying to get rich. But that that's for a different show. ⁓ but no, man, it's like we've been taught that the work that we need to put in is this weird manipulative.

CJ (1:10:46)
Yeah.

Yep. Yep.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:11:10)
Manipulative, control based, ⁓ go at it hard, ⁓ you know, dominate everything. And it's like, dude, no, the real work is what you've been doing. The introspection, the self-talk, the who am I for real? The what what do I stand for? What am I doing in this world? What legacy am I leaving? What contribution will I make? That's the work that I see you doing. That's the work that inspires.

CJ (1:11:14)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:11:41)
You know, and and so, you know, just going back to the Kobe thing, it's like that's what he sounded crazy. Well, I mean not crazy, but he he sounded heartless when he was saying it. Right? It was like, damn, did did do this guy care about anybody but himself? Yeah, he actually did. It took that level of intensity to get through the challenges that were before him.

CJ (1:11:51)
Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:12:06)
So he just understood something that the rest of us just didn't understand at that time. But ultimately, look who continues to eat off of his hard work. You feel me? There's a lot of folks that's eating off the plate that he fixed. Like he he went to the buffet line and filled up the plate. And then he, as we say, died too soon, but everybody else is still eating. So ⁓ yeah, man, you're you're you're putting in the work.

CJ (1:12:18)
Yeah, yeah. Yep. Yep.

Mm-hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:12:36)
So I I can see that in you, man. Yeah. Yep. I wanted ⁓ I wanted to break down just two more things before we wrap this one up, man. ⁓ earlier you talked about, or I asked you the question about like what what things do you think you should take notice of kind of within yourself to address the the anger ⁓ issue. ⁓ one thing that I noticed

CJ (1:12:37)
Yeah.

Okay.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:13:05)
or picked up as you were talking was

We typically call them soft skills. Anything that's in the mental, anything that's not done with the hands, we call them soft skills. So thinking, decision making, ⁓ cognitive skills. One thing that I heard in that as you were explaining it, sort of the word underneath the word, is perhaps men don't have or at least men that fall into this context, or just

Let's just say mini men, because we have to have a term that we that at least for myself, I can stop trying to explain. Just so for us in general as men, maybe we're not taught ⁓ like decision making skills, like actually how to make quality decisions. And so we're kind of we're kind of left to kind of figure it out. Cause pops didn't know how to make no decisions.

CJ (1:13:58)
Mm-hmm. Yep.

Mm-hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:14:08)
And for some of us, Pops just went now for you, like Pops was there. For me, like Pops wasn't even in the picture until 23. But for a a lot of us as men, Pops isn't there to teach us how to make quality decisions. Or Pops is there, but he was never taught how to make quality decisions. And so we're we hit 18, 21, we're considered adults in America. And now America expects us as men.

CJ (1:14:15)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:14:38)
To go about this thing called life, making quality decisions, being good citizens, but we were never taught to do that. ⁓ how does that land for you? Just just kind of speak to to your own experience or or just speak to that in general, ⁓ how however that comes up for you. But do you think the soft skill of just men knowing how to make quality decisions, do you think that that's contributing to some of these challenges where it

where our emotional states and just our ability to kinda, you know, want want that get back is concerned.

CJ (1:15:11)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I think ⁓

For the most part, like we we as men, we're

We have this we have this thing where it's just like

We let it control us. We let it control us to the point where we're just not thinking. And

The the decision making skills that we acquired was vision.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:15:54)
Mm.

CJ (1:15:55)
it was it was looked upon. We we saw it. But as far as it being spoken to us, as far as it being broken down as to the decisions that you're gonna make and the dis the mistakes that you're gonna make, it was never like explained to to help us win.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:15:58)
Mm-hmm.

CJ (1:16:17)
We only saw the examples of what not to do through our eyes and

That's all we saw though. We didn't see the right. We didn't see the right path that people went. We didn't see that in our neighborhoods. We didn't see that in our communities. We saw most of the time the things of what to do wrong. And we would sit there and say to ourselves, like, okay, we're not gonna do that, but then when you get put in that position, you black out. And you're gonna do what you saw.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:16:37)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm.

CJ (1:16:56)
So in that case, you doing the thing that you're not supposed to do. And that's that's the toughness that I've I've I've had to deal with myself because at a younger age I made so many mistakes. So many mistakes. And I should have been in jail right now. I should have been dead. You know, but I'm not.

And I have to take this time to set and take advantage. And the mistakes that I made, I'm still I'm still finding it hard to forgive myself. I know I'm supposed to forgive myself. I know that I'm not bigger than God and I've hurt you know those things like if God can forgive you, how come you can't forgive yourself? Yeah, but you're not you're not in this position. You not you you didn't you didn't make the the the choices that I made.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:17:23)
⁓

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

CJ (1:17:52)
You know, the choices that I made.

It it devastated people. A lot of people. It it it affected so many people. And out of all the people, it affected me the worst. You know, because I'm still finding it hard to forgive myself. Still to this day of the mistakes that I made. And I I I'm trying to now have this relationship with God.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:18:01)
Mm-hmm.

CJ (1:18:27)
where you know the the the praying is is is more involved. I'm taking initiative to seek out prayer because prayer is now like me talking to God. And I'm not sitting there saying, Dear God, thank you for this day. Thank you for everything that you given me. Thank you. I we're not we're not having that type of conversation no more. I'm not I'm not this is the

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:18:53)
Mm-hmm.

CJ (1:18:56)
this is how it's supposed to be. No. I'm I'm talking to him. Hey man, I need your help. Hey, I I I messed up here. ⁓ hey I'm thinking about doing this. What do you think? I'm I'm having conversations and you know time spent to to to help my growth and it's it and I'm trying to show an example for others. My son

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:19:01)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

CJ (1:19:26)
My daughter, you know, they're still young and ⁓ I wanna set an example to be like, Hey, like this this man has changed, this man has you know, he's he's bettering himself, he's he's taking these these steps to be a better person, to be a better man, to be a better father. And you know, when when people don't when people don't accept that from you, especially like people from your past, ⁓ they don't they don't see that or they don't

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:19:31)
Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

CJ (1:19:54)
recognize it or they don't want to recognize it at all. They want to keep you in this bubble of no, you were an asshole. No, you you you were an idiot to me. You know, you you're this. You were that, you were this. Like when they put you when they still see you as that and it's expressed, it's it's tough. It's tough because, you know, it's like, okay, well if you don't see me changed then F you.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:20:01)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

CJ (1:20:23)
You know, like, okay, well then I I'll show you that. I'll you want me to be that person, I'll be that person. You know, like and that's the kind of mindset that we visioned and we saw from other men in our community and we just took after it. We're not w nobody's giving men any solutions as far as to how to go about their lives, how to make simple decisions. That's the re part of the reason why men can't even figure out what they want to eat.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:20:23)
Yeah.

Mm.

CJ (1:20:53)
They can't even make a decision like, you know, I I had that I had that time when I was with my girlfriend and you know, I sat there and said, I don't know what to eat. I can't even make a decision about what I want to eat. You know, it's it's simple things like that we can't make decisions about and we need to take more initiative in ourselves to to trust ourselves as men and and be open to like

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:21:05)
Mm.

Yeah.

CJ (1:21:22)
It's okay to speak up. It's okay to to to make mistakes. It's okay. It's okay. Just don't make the the the the huge mistakes is is where you know you kinda you have to have to have discernment. You have to have discernment with those things. You know better. You you know damn well. You know damn well that you you have a wife at home and you shouldn't be over here doing this. You know damn well.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:21:27)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

CJ (1:21:51)
You know, like stuff like that. It's it's it's those things that like come on bruh.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:21:57)
Mm-hmm.

CJ (1:21:59)
But we so caught up in, you know, these lives that we see on TV, these visions that we saw in the community. Sad.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:22:09)
Yeah.

You brought up a very powerful point that I wanted to call out and I think we're gonna maybe use this on the next on the next episode or at least in future episodes. we saw more of the things that we weren't supposed to do and we were conditioned by what we aren't supposed to do.

Don't do this, don't do that, don't do this, don't do that. And our environments gave us ample examples and experiences of the things that we weren't supposed to do. However, to your point.

When it came time for us to make decisions, we did the very things that we weren't supposed to do and the very things that we were told not to do. That's a very powerful observation. I don't know what it's called. I'll have to look it up. But there's something to the fact that we don't do what we're supposed to do. We do what we see done most.

Like we have more examples of what not to do. And we were told, hey, look, those things don't do those things. But yet we found ourselves doing those things. We were exposed the environments, the experiences, the emotions, the energy that we were around. It was really a form of education. We were, we were educated in.

CJ (1:23:52)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:23:54)
What not to do, which actually taught us to do what we weren't supposed to do. If we were brought up in an environment with experiences and emotions and energy and education in what we should do, not doing what we shouldn't do wouldn't be a problem. We would just do what we should do.

CJ (1:24:00)
Yeah.

Yeah. Yep. Yep, absolutely. Absolutely.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:24:21)
Kind of a revelation, huh?

And where do we find our people? Wh where's our

people? In trench entrenched in environments and engaged in experiences of what we shouldn't be doing, who we shouldn't be being, what we shouldn't be thinking.

CJ (1:24:32)
Well.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:24:46)
Yeah. It i it's it's super interesting. It's like we don't we don't we don't have to we don't have to keep anyway, th I'm about to go down a whole nother trail. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. We'll save we'll we'll save all of our conspiracy theories and American culture and a black man i in America. We we'll save all that for later. We'll we'll w we got time to get on those things. But it's no it's no mystery that we are where we where we are. It was

CJ (1:24:55)
Ha ha ha.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:25:14)
Cer s certainly by design. Certainly by design. Yeah. But here's the good news. With

CJ (1:25:14)
right. Exactly. Exactly.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:25:22)
awareness, we can we can change that for ourselves. Yep. Yeah, man. So listen, man, ⁓ we've been at it for ⁓ about an hour and twenty-five. We want to start wrapping it up. Any any any closing thoughts, ideas, just anything, man, ⁓ as we

CJ (1:25:27)
Yep, exactly.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:25:42)
as we kinda close this up and then I wanna just do a quick little recap and then we wanna go ahead and just let folks know where to where to find us. But anything that that you wanna end out with anything left on your heart concerning this topic that you wanna express.

CJ (1:25:51)
Yeah.

⁓ I would say just that you know, you're gonna come across things that that's out of your control. and the only thing you control is is your voice, your reaction. and you know, the mistakes that you make, everybody makes mistakes. Everybody. There's not one person on this planet that doesn't. And the I think the point of it is is to

to fix it, to get it right. and for my daughter to even see that post. she liked the post. And it was kinda like it was a it was a moment that that I looked at it like, okay, now I have to fix this. You know, 'cause she saw this part. So now I have to find a way to fix this and to explain to her that

This this was the way that I went about it is not okay. I have to be better with that. And to show her where where I went.

the the outcome of it was not was it it wasn't worth it at the end of the day it wasn't worth it so you know just to be able to take a step back and look and ask that question that you've given me what could this mean what what what could this there's something else that this could mean and if I would have if I would have asked that question to myself man

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:27:18)
Mm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Hmm.

Mm-hmm.

CJ (1:27:43)
that

that post would have never happened. That's for that's for damn sure. That post would have never happened. So, you know, I I appreciate the help. I appreciate this opportunity for you to give me to you know just kinda ask for forgiveness in a way. and to kinda you know ⁓ be able to

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:27:46)
Wow. Look at that. Mm-hmm.

CJ (1:28:11)
To to take this opportunity to better myself. Yeah. I would say that. Like it it's it only made me better. And that's that's the way that I'ma see it. I'm not gonna see it as a effort. I'm not gonna see it as a as a mistake. I'ma see it as a opportunity for me to grow. And that's where I'm I'm now I'm forcing my mind to see that.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:28:13)
Hmm. Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

That's right.

Powerful, man. Powerful. Yeah, funny thing, I was thinking too. ⁓ if the person if there was a particular person that actually did pull it down and they were going through your feed as we begin to promo this this episode, ⁓ you know, that they'll they'll have an opportunity, man, to to see the other side. And you just never know what that might what that might lead to. So just just the mysteries of life, man. Just

CJ (1:29:04)
Yeah. Yes.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:29:07)
Just doing the right thing when you have an opportunity to. So, all right, man. Let me let me do a quick recap, man. ⁓ if you're just now ⁓ joining on on the live, or if you're catching this on the replay, if you're watching on YouTube, LinkedIn, or if you're listening on the podcast platform in and of itself, there are two things that we talked about. We talked about a lot. This was a rich conversation.

CJ (1:29:16)
Yes, sir. Yes sir.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:29:36)
very edifying conversation, a very redemptive conversation. But in recapping, I don't want to try to hit everything that we said. Go back, listen to the episode. There's a lot that was shared. But there were two main themes that we that we talked about, two main takeaways. The first one is understanding emotions. And we're going to unpack this more and more as CJ and I continue to to link up on these things. Cause I think there's a handful of things, man, that

We as men, if we can just get a better understanding of them and how they work within us, we're gonna just be better equipped as men to make those decisions that we need to be making. So the first one is emotions. Just as a recap, we're dealing with the emotion today of anger, but this goes for all emotions. Emotions in and of themselves, the easiest definition is informant. Think of it like in terms of cops, right? Is

Cops have informants. They they leak information. They, they, they point to the crying boss or whatever you're kind of, you know, dealing with within the show or in even in like real life. But think of them as informants. They are informing you of something about yourself. They're pointing to something that you need to take notice of, that you need to consider, that you need to address. They're

The emotion in and of itself is only a reflection of something greater that's happening within you, something deeper that is within your ability to address. It's going to take the work that we talked about earlier, but it is within your ability to address. And you can learn to address those things with the proper coaching, mentorship, and supportive community. All right. So emotions are informants. They're just pointing you to something. The practice that we want you to take away.

All right, we're giving you real life solutions and tools. Do not under, do not underestimate the power of these techniques, even though they're super simple. All right. So the first thing is whenever you feel a high emotion, consider curiosity before reacting. What are you telling me? What are you showing me? What are you pointing to? What do I need to take notice of?

By asking yourself those quality questions, you can begin to at least do a deep dive within yourself, which works like a breath technique. Remember that 10 count, 10 deep breaths, it just calms you down. Well, by you asking yourself, what are you showing me? What are you pointing me to? What what what is it that I need to take notice of? You're in a sense taking 10 deep breaths. You're calming your nervous system down. Cause when you're high emotion,

Your logic is low, right? High emotion, logic is low. So when you begin to ask yourself these questions, you're regulating your emotional system. Your emotion, you know, you you you are regulating yourself emotionally, which puts you in a much better position and internal state to make a better decision. Much better state to respond in a responsible way.

All right. Number two, we talked about those five words. What else could this mean? Powerful. Super simple, but powerful. What else could this mean? Many times when we are triggered, we become angry and we want to get back. I'ma teach them a lesson. I'ma show them that I ain't no joke. I'ma show them what's up. I'ma let them know how this thing is going down. All of that stuff that we been pumped with over all of our years by

So called mentors, big brothers, uncles, the neighborhood, dope boys, the movies, the the music, the culture, all of that garbage that's been pumped into us and then we suffer for, we go to jail for, we lose our lives for, all of that nonsense that looks super cool on the surface, but we suffering underneath all of that garbage. What else could this mean when we are high on I'm about to, I'm about to, I'm about to just ask yourself that question.

What else could this mean? And it could mean an opportunity for you to leverage it for your good and for the good of others. It could mean that you just don't have enough evidence to make a quality decision and you just need to calm down and just let it go. It could mean a lot of different things. But again, the technique is giving yourself an opportunity to bring it down and to think with a level head so that you can put yourself in a position to make the best decision.

Possible. Those two things will change your life. I'ma just be real with you. I'm I'm I'm I'm so freaking tired of downplaying these techniques like this. This is life changing. Like, bro, me and you, we could do a whole seminar off of just them two ideas. In fact, we will. Hell, we will. We we come into a city near you. We're gonna just take two ideas and change the world. Like if men think about this if if men knew them two techniques, bro.

CJ (1:34:41)
Yeah.

Ooh.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:34:56)
Do you know how many arguments would be solved? How many people wouldn't get shot? How many people wouldn't die tonight? How many people wouldn't be going to jail tomorrow? How many marriages wouldn't be ending in divorce? How many kids wouldn't have deadbeat dads? If we just had them two techniques. But we overlook ⁓ because they're not sexy. They're not they're not marketable. They're not glamorous. We want more men caves.

CJ (1:34:59)
Man. For real. Yep.

Yeah, yeah, I think.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:35:25)
We want more muscles. We want more

grinding. We want more super stuff. No, dude. Control your mind. You have everything you want in life. But what's being marketed to us is take on more control. Muscle up. Grind a little harder. Control everyone. Dominate everything. Be a macho man. That's foolishness. That's garbage.

CJ (1:35:37)
Yes.

Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:35:55)
That's what got you suffering. Take it from us. We know. That's why we say it with such clarity and confidence because we know. And you know too. So that's the recap. how do you get in contact with us? A couple of things I want to share before we shut it down. Number one, you got questions. Super dope. If you're on a podcast platform, super dope. There's a little button up at the top that says questions. Got questions. Click the link, man.

CJ (1:35:57)
Yes. Yep.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:36:25)
It is anonymous. I won't, we won't know who you are. We don't know your mom and them name. We ain't got no address. We don't even got your phone number. It's an anonymous question. Drop the question if you're l if you're listening on a podcast platform. Okay. There's a little link. Just hit that button. Ask away. We will actually address your questions in the next episode. All right. So we will take those questions seriously. Submit your questions. All right. We will answer them on the next episode.

CJ (1:36:52)
Please.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:36:55)
If you are interested in working with us in any capacity, okay, I am the possible dot com. There's links in the show notes, links in the description. But you're going to go to IamThePossible.com or click the link, and there's a coaching ⁓ section and there's a ⁓ email section. Just reach out. There's all kinds of links within there for clarity calls and discovery calls and all that good stuff. There's a million different ways to get into contact with us.

We would love to serve and support your success in that way. If you are a nonprofit, if you are a faith-informed organization, if you are a church, if you are a brotherhood, a mentorship program, if you're anyone that at least respects the idea that there's a God, that there's something greater than us going on, and you would like us to come in, do talks, workshops, coaching sessions, mentorship programs, if you want us to come and serve you in any capacity.

We would love to work with you. So again, all of that information is in the link. Just hit that link. Let's connect. Lastly, if you want to support this effort, there's also another link. Everything, everything is in that link, all right? but if you want to financially support this platform, if you like the things we're talking about, if you like the things that we're doing and you want to support us, all of this technology costs, okay? Right now we're fitting a bill because this is what we do. This is our business, this is our profession, this is our passion.

But if you want to partner with us, if you want to financially contribute to supporting this platform, you can do so. Click the link. You can set up a monthly contribute a monthly contribution to support this ⁓ platform. It can go from as little as a dollar up to how much ever you want to contribute on a regular basis and you can cancel anytime. All right. ⁓ that's it, man. That's it, dude. Thank you so much, bro, for for for

CJ (1:38:47)
Thank you.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:38:48)
For rocking out, man. I think this is good stuff. We just getting started. man, the best is always yet to come, man. So, ⁓ yeah, man. ⁓ anything else before we before we shut it down, man.

CJ (1:38:52)
Yeah.

Mm.

Nah.

I appreciate you, man. Appreciate the opportunity, brother. That's all I can say.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (1:39:04)
Yeah. Likewise, bro. Likewise. All

right, guys. That's it. Another episode done down here in the I Am the Possible universe here on the I Am the Possible podcast. Experience if you are watching on the tube and you should be watching on the tube. Please leave a comment. Let us know what hit home. You can ask questions there as well, but let us know what what ⁓ hit home. Please like, share, and subscribe. That helps to elevate.

The message. We want to get this message out to as many men as possible. When you see us on social media, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, Twitter, X, whatever you want to call it, wherever we are. If you see us, share this, repost this, put it on your story. Let men know we are better together. All right.

CJ (1:39:35)
Yes.