The 3 Words Men Are Terrified To Say But Keeps Them Stuck

Feeling stuck as a man can be heavy—especially when you’re trying to carry pressure, figure life out, and make progress without letting anyone know how much you’re struggling.

But what if getting unstuck doesn’t start with pretending to be stronger?

What if it starts with three words most men resist?

In this episode, I share the simple shift that helped me move from trauma, homelessness, shame, and survival into purpose, leadership, faith, and growth.

If you’re tired of doing life alone and ready for real change, this conversation may be the breakthrough you didn’t know you needed.

Your change is possible... with THIS practice!

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#MensGrowth #GetUnstuck #SelfImprovementForMen #ChristianMen #PersonalGrowth #MindsetShift #iAMthepossible

Transcript

Treveal C.W. Lynch (00:00)
Welcome, welcome, welcome. Come on in, welcome once again. This is the place, this is the space. You know what it is. Yes, yes, yes. This is the I am the possible podcast experience. Yes, this is the place where possibilities become.

Perspective. Guys, thank you so much for rocking with me once again. Thank you so much for taking the time to tap in. Today we are going to be talking about three words that are going to get you unstuck. If you feel stuck right now, you're not experiencing the progress. Life isn't moving forward. You aren't moving forward. Things aren't coming together. Something's keeping you stuck. Something's holding you back.

These three words, I think it's gonna help you. They're gonna help to open up a world of possibilities. So stick with me. I'm gonna be taking you through a portion of my own story, a little of my before and my after, because so many men reach out to me and they they say, Why or how am I able to stay so consistent?

How am I able to continue to grow to develop? How am I able to continue to show up? And it's not because I have a superpower. It's not because I'm special. It's not because I'm anointed. It's not because God loves me more. It's not because I've got some secret weapon or some secret you know, thing that I'm working with. It's these three words. As I look over my life, especially in the month of June, in a few weeks we're gonna be

Celebrating Father's Day. And it seems right around this time, every year, I find myself on this topic because I love to remind men specifically. This would work for women as well, but I love to remind men of the thing that I'm going to share today and how it changed my life, how it really helped to nurture and foster consistent growth, not just growth in the short term.

But I've been growing, developing, evolving, maturing for 26 years. And no, it is not a humble brag, but it's as we say, facts. Because I think it's time for me to begin to step into that, to walk in that, and to be okay with expressing it like that. By the grace of God, first and foremost, I am where I am. That's bottom line.

By the grace of God, the source, capital S, the source of my life, the source of my strength, a Christ-centered life. Christ is and was the catalyst for my transformation. Bottom line, let's let's bottom line that. However, in addition to that, in addition to the Christ, in addition to my faith and my centeredness in Christ.

I have used these three words that I'm about to share with you in a very specific way over the last 26 years to become a better leader, a better father, a better husband, a better man, a better humanitarian, a better co-worker, a better friend, a better just person. Wherever I am, I'm just better because of it. And so I just want you to understand.

That the the feeling of being stuck, the feeling of hopelessness, the feeling of things are never going to change for me, that's real talk. That's real talk. I feel you because I've been there. Yet as I reflect over my life, as I'm preparing tools and resources to empower and to equip men, specifically men in leadership.

Fathers, husbands, men who are under pressure. Like that's my right, that's my lane. But this is universally applicable. This is a thing that women can can use, children can use, anybody can use what I'm about to share. But I am looking into this virtual lens and I am looking for the the men out there who need to hear this, especially during Father's Day, especially during this month, where men are celebrated.

Where fathers are highlighted, I wanted to remind you of this principle. I wanted to remind you of the thing that I have done that has consistently blessed me, strengthened me, been been a blessing to me, and that has gotten me to where I am. Now, before I share, before I share what these three words are, let me share my screen and I want to just share with you really quick.

My before and my after. Now, this is an example of it.

From a presentation that I recently did for a university, kinda played with AI a little bit.

And so just wanted to try something different, see what AI could could create. I just use my before and after that I've always used. But I want you to see before I share this, because sometimes I think when we share something as simple as I'm about to share, it can be devalued. It could not be taken serious. Sometimes when it's too simple and it's not complex, it it doesn't require a whole lot of anything.

We tend to devalue it. But the truth is it's the simple things that are most powerful, the simple things that are easiest to grasp and to consistently implement in a person's life. But before I share that, let me just share this here. This is my before on the left, or maybe it's your right, and my after on my on my right, maybe it's on your left on the screen. I just wanted to give you a snapshot because sometimes I think either to a new audience member or

They've never known my before and my after. And for s and for some of us who have been rocking with me for some time, I think sometimes we forget. Because sometimes when you watch someone online or you're just doing life with somebody, you forget their story. And I wanted you to understand where I've come from. I came from not having a mother and a father in the home. Though God, by God's grace, I have a great relationship with my father today. The truth is, as I was growing up, I didn't have my parents in the home. I was raised by my grandmother.

I was a latchkey kid. And so I saw a lot of abuse early on, a lot of domestic violence early on. And it began to shape what I felt about myself, what I felt about other people, what I felt about life. And there was a lot of trauma that I've had to work through. But I think that the way it manifested early in my life was I began to stutter. I began to pick up a lot of weight because when you experience that trauma.

It oftentimes buries itself in your body, and you start to embody the trauma. And so I began stuttering, picking up weight. I began to be abused by other people sexually, physically, emotionally. I was always bullied, made fun of, picked on, left out. As I got older as a teenager, I began to use drugs.

Alcohol, dropped out of college twice. I had two free rides to college, by the way, because we didn't make a certain amount of money. My grandmother was able to get me a free ride to college, but I dropped out because I was hooked on drugs and I was just doing my thing, which led to homelessness and selling drugs. And I became a a thief. That was my thing, just robbing folks and robbing houses and just doing my thing. And there became or not became, there was a point in my life where.

I had a gun to my head, to my temple. And I was in the backseat of a car. There was another gun that was pointed at me from the from the front seat. But I had a gun pointed to the side of my head. And I had a bag of weed on me. I had just bought a bag of weed, like a hundred bucks for the bag of weed. And the guy asked me three times, he kind of demanded three times that I give him this bag of weed. That's all he that that was all that he wanted.

Was the bag of weed. He didn't want me or my life or anything like that. But he had the gun in my head and he wanted the bag of weed. And I told him no three times. As we're wrestling and and fumbling, he's he's grabbing at it and I'm I'm pulling back. And and finally he just pulls the trigger. And by God's grace and purpose, or whatever else you want to chalk it up to, nothing came out. I would have been murdered, killed in the backseat of a car at twenty.

I would have been shot and killed in an alleyway on the west side of Toledo. I would have been a dead homie, a dead young man, another dead, another example of a of a of a young man, you know, as as we say, dying too soon. Because I thought so little of myself that I wasn't going to give up a bag of weed. A bag of weed, y'all. I used to smoke bags of weed ounces in a day.

I was willing to die. I was willing to have my head blown off at 20 years old in the backseat of a car for something that cost me less than $100. I could have given him that bag of weed and went and bought me another bag of weed. But that's how little I thought of myself. That I would fight and wrestle and tell this dude no, with a gun to my head. And he was crazy enough to pull the trigger. He was willing to kill me for the bag of weed.

So he was crazy enough to kill me. I'm crazy enough to die for it. And that's why I tell folks, man, I know, I know what it means to be, to feel, you know, hopeless. I I I like I often say, I teach, I preach self-value because I know what it means to not have any. I know what it means to not have any value. I know what it means to not see anything in myself. I've been there, I've done that. So I just wanted to share a little bit about.

Where I came from. The last one, Grand Theft. I I was guilty of sin. I did it. And I was caught. I was facing 15 years. And again, by the grace and miracle of God, things worked out. Things came together. I don't have time to break down the entire story, but I can tell you this by because of one of the men that I'm gonna mention in just a moment as it ties to the three words that I'm gonna share. ⁓

You know, everything got worked out. My record was expunged. I was set free and everything worked out. But it wasn't because I was so smart. It wasn't because I had it all together. It wasn't because of anything other than God's grace and mercy in that moment. And all I can do is share my story, right? That's how it that's how it panned out for me. But once I gave my life to Christ at twenty three, now you have the after.

And I won't go through all of these. I won't bore you with all of them, but the point is there's a transformation here. I became a pastor, a father, a husband, a speaker, a coach, an author multiple times over, certified personal trainer. I've done these things, been in corporate America 20 years, turned a two year contract into a 20 year career, a six figure income with no experience, no background, no education. Because of the three words that I'm about to share with you.

So if you're looking for that kind of life transformation, if you're looking for that kind of change, if you're looking for, man, I'm on the other side. I'm I'm I'm still in my before. And I would love to get some of that after, then let me share with you these three words. All right. So let me go back to my screen. Let me get back to my to my studio. Here's the three words. You ready? I need help.

That's it. I need help. Those three words will change your life. Now I know you already judging it. You already saying it can't be that simple. Come on, man. I thought you were gonna share something more powerful. Pump the brakes. Think of how powerful that is. The word power by definition.

Is the ability to move something from one place to another. When someone expresses they have power, they have power, they have authority, they have the ability, the resources, the wherewithal to move something, someone from one place to another.

The phrase, I need help, is able to move your life forward. It's able to move your life from the before to the after. It's able to move your life from being stuck to being successful. Here is why.

Stick with me. Lean in. Lean in.

We don't know as much as we think we know. Number two, we were created to do life and to succeed in partnership, relationship. There is no success outside of relationship, and there is no relationship outside of communication. The first

Point of communication that you need to infuse into your life and to get really comfortable with is communicating. I need help. Yeah. John Maxwell said this. He says, talking, that's getting out.

Communicating, that's getting through. To communicate, I need help means that you get through to someone that can help you. Here's what I mean. We don't know as much as we think we know about the areas of life that actually move us forward.

Here's what I want to share with you. This is what I've done for the last twenty six years of my life.

I asked for help from men who knew more than me in the most critical areas of my life. You feel me? Let's break it down. Number one, we all deal with finances. We all deal with finances. You know what I did early on, 20 plus years ago? I asked a man named Rusty Proctor.

For help. Now, the way we met, I won't go through all these stories, but the way we met, he approached me. Right? He approached me. It was a time when he was doing some recruiting for a company. Let me shout out to Primerica, by the way. the most awesome financial services company on the planet. They've changed our lives, transformed our lives, educated us, blessed many families. so shout out to

Primerica, but Rusty was working for Primerica and Rusty was out recruiting. He was looking for people to recruit into the company. And that's how we met. That's how we built our relationship. But what he did for me was above and beyond the recruitment of that company. See, over 20 years ago, Rusty sat down with my wife and I, back when we were living in Monrovia, and Rusty introduced us to something called a spreadsheet.

A spreadsheet. We were out here in California only a few years earlier getting evicted from our first apartment because we couldn't afford it, because we moved out here with like five thousand dollars to our name. That's a whole nother story for a whole nother time. But here's my point. We didn't even have a spreadsheet. We didn't have a budget. We didn't know anything about money. We didn't know how to budget. We didn't know anything about finances, life insurance, investments, savings, markets.

money markets, right? IRAs, saving for retirement. We had no idea. We had no idea. But Rusty had all the ideas. He understood this stuff. He was further along. So what did we do? Hey, Russ, help us out, man. I need help in finances. So he became my mentor. I recruited Rusty.

I made him my mentor. Rusty, you go mentor me, man. And he became my mentor. And he got our finances together. And we are so much better today than we ever would have been without his mentorship, without him helping us. To this day, we have that same spreadsheet, that same budget. To this day, we have investments. We have short-term, long term. basically, we're doing very well financially. We have all of our bases covered.

And we're continuing to do better. But it was because of the foundation that Rusty helped us to lay 20 years ago. Today, if you're struggling in your finances, why are you trying to do it on your own? Why are you trying to make decisions on your own? Right? It's like we have to get to a point, especially as men, because I know, I know we have been conditioned and trained to be all about the ego, do it on our own, live on an island, don't tell nobody about nothing.

Keep it all inside. Be secretive. Be about your business. Hold it down because of the very things I was talking about earlier. As a child, we were abused, made fun of, made to feel some type of way about ourselves because we were vulnerable, because we showed emotion and they shut it down. It was our dad, it was our big brother, it was our uncle. It was the dude around the corner. It was the big homie. Somebody shut it down. And we learned through that trauma.

That we bet not tell nobody nothing. We bet not feel no type of way. We bet not show no emotion. We bet not ask for help. That's garbage. That's trash. I can come up with some other names for it, but you know what it does? It keeps you stuck, bro. It keeps you stuck. Cause you don't ask for no help. And I'm not, again, I'm not saying that I'm super smart and I had this big epiphany. I don't know why. I don't know why I asked for help. But I did. That's my story.

I don't know why. I'm done trying to worry about why. I'm more concerned with helping you. I'm more concerned with telling my story. I'm more concerned with getting this word out so other brothers can see me as an example. I've already shared with you where I've been. And again, I don't know why I was asking for help, but I was and I got the help. And maybe for you, this podcast, this episode, this video right now, this recording, if you're listening right now.

It's going to be the reason that you're going to start asking for help. Let's not worry about how we got there. Let's just worry about getting there. Right? You have to really ask yourself the question am I more concerned about being prideful, about how I get to where I need to go, or do I care more about just getting to where I need to go? We we can get stuck on the how to, or we can just get about getting there and and being where we want to be. All right, so here we go. It's something called mentorship, bro.

Mentorship. You can call it coaching. I'm a coach, right? I can coach you. If you reach out to me, you can hire me as your one on one coach. Group sessions, one on one sessions, I coach. But you can call it a coach. You can call it a mentor. You can call it a big brother. You can call it whatever you want to call it. It's asking for help from someone who's further along and more knowledgeable than you in a specific area.

Right now, in training, in personal training, there's this thing called the law of specificity. In short, I'm gonna summarize it, but I think that it's applicable here. In personal training, the law of specificity, it basically says if you want to achieve a specific kind of adaptation in your physical body, if you want to achieve a specific adaptation, then you must train in a specific manner. For example,

If I wanted my muscles to grow and to get larger, that's called hypertrophy training. You don't do a whole lot of cardio training or a whole lot of I mean, you still need to get your stability and mobility training in, but you get my point. You don't train like a runner to get bigger muscles, and vice versa. You don't focus on lifting a ton of weights.

For shorter reps ⁓ reps and shorter rest periods, trying to get leaner. You apply this law, this rule, this principle of specificity. If you desire a sp a specific outcome, train in a specific manner. I'm gonna say that one more time. If you want a specific outcome, you train in a specific manner. It's called a modality in physical training.

All I did was apply this to my life. And all I'm encouraging you to do is to apply this to your life. If you are struggling financially, I need help. Communicate that to a person who is further along, who is doing well in that area, who is time tested in that area, steadfast, consistent. They're demonstrating the kind of life in that area.

That you want to demonstrate and you recruit them. Sometimes you need to pay for them, sometimes you don't. But you reach out and you say, I need help. Those three words are powerful because they will move you from being stuck to being successful in a given area. Now, again, I only got so much time on the podcast. If you're saying, ⁓

Well, I've done that before in my life and it didn't work. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay, cool. Like I always tell you guys, I am the possible dot com. I have a link up at the top. It's called connect. Right? It's called reach out. It's called email me. It's called leave a question. There's a button in this podcast, if on any podcast platform that you're watching this on or that you're listening to this on, there is a button that says ask questions.

It is anonymous. I don't have your information. I don't know your name. I don't know your date of birth. I ain't got your social security number. It's just submit the question, man. And I will answer the question. Again, communicate. Get through to me. Get through to somebody. Ask the freaking question. Because if you are tired of being stuck, if you are tired of the same old, same old garbage, bro, you got to get somebody else in your life.

That knows more than you do. I get it. I've I've lived it. I don't want to ask nobody. I don't want to share with nobody. I don't want them in my business. I don't want them knowing what I'm going through. Bro, been there, done that, got the t shirt, got the hat, whatever, whatever else I need to have. But I found a way. Maybe it was because I gave more of a damn about my wife.

Than than my pride. Maybe it was because I gave more of a damn about my kids than my pride. Maybe it was because I gave more of a damn about the Lord than my pride. Maybe it was because I cared more about becoming who I believe God created me to become than my pride. I don't know, bro. But here's what I do know. I found something that I care more about than my pride and my shame, because that is so temporary.

People don't care, especially today. People ain't checking for you like that. They're not sitting up at night thinking, ho ho, he he asked for help. Ha ha ha ha. Ain't nobody caring about you ask for no help. Ask for the help. Get the help and move on. Because people don't care nothing about you asking for help. And those that care that you're asking for help that would clown you, look at where they are. Look at where their life is. Why do you care so much about what they say? Are you serious? There's seven, eight.

Billion people on the planet. It might be more than that by now. And you getting caught up because one or two people that you know might clown you for showing that you need some help. Man, please. Squash that, kill that noise. Dude, there are so many people in this world that will help you. There are so many people in this world that will that will hear what you need and will be there to serve and to support you. I'm

A living witness. Okay. Now let me run down the line. Let's break this down, dude. Let's break this down. All right. Should have put my chapstick on this morning. Let me break this down for you, man. Rusty was finances. Shout out to Pastor Kerwin L. Manning, Pasadena Church, Church with No Limits. Senior Pastor. Head coach. Shout out to PK. He was the one when I was in jail, when I was getting caught up.

About to get a case, about to catch a case. He was the one that showed up with his buddy from college and came to my rescue. And he's been my spiritual father and spiritual mentor ever since. He was further along. I remember him taking me out to breakfast, opening up the Bible, and saying, Ask me questions. And I did. I took him up on it. So I had my spiritual mentor. Shout out to Kanichi Yoshida.

Who is still my spiritual sensei, all right? That's my man, right? I'm like the karate kid, baby. He's my sensei. but shout out to Kanichi, man. I meet with him on a monthly basis to this day. Go out to breakfast, and he mentors me, man, because he's further along in the journey than I am. Shout out to Dwayne Cantrell, Pastor Dr. Dwayne Cantrell, Victory Church out there in ⁓

Kern County out there in Bakersfield, man. Shout out to Mr. Cantrell. He was the one that was mentoring me for a season. And he was the one that helped me to become a pastor. Because when I was pushing back from being a pastor, I didn't want, I ain't want nothing to do with being no pastor, man, because I don't like the title. I don't like the the way it flows. I'm gonna do me. He said, Trevil, a pastor is a shepherd. And you are unique. You are uniquely shaped to be the shepherd that you are meant to be.

He was the one that told me that. He was the one that opened up that door for me. You see how this is working? It was men in my life. Maybe some women along the way, but I'm giving shout outs to men. Salute to men, to men, to brothers. I'm showing love to the brothers. You know what I'm saying? To the men in my life that has shown up for me, man, over these years. Shout out to Damon Lee. Early on, man. First church of God, baby.

Out there in Toledo, baby. when I first became a Christian, Brother Damon showed me how to be a real man, a man's man. Not that macho BS, not that foolishness, not that prideful nonsense, but how to be a man of integrity, a man of of of of valor, a man of of discipline. And we still connect on IG, man, to this day. These are men that have been in my life. Shout out to Roos Rudy Carrasco.

My man Rudy Carrasco, Harambe, Pasadena, California, man. I remember working for Harambe over the summertime. And Rudy was the first one to take me in the hood and like buy me some tacos and just sit me down and show me what it meant to love the community, to be a part of the community. Rudy lived in the community. He he ran harambe that was in the hood, and he had a house right down the street in the hood.

So it wasn't like he was coming to Harambe from eight to five and then running home back to his, you know, nice area, nice neighborhood. No, he had roots right there in the hood, man. So he showed me what it meant to be like boots to the ground and to like do community. These are men, man. Men over the years. Shout out to Tony Johnson. Physical training. My man worked at Bally's, Gold's.

⁓ I don't think LA Fitness, but it's been a manager, regional manager, ⁓ just continuing to like blow up in that area. But I remember when I was first getting into the church, and a brother came up to me and you know, on some real talk, he shared, hey man, you picked up some weight, you're getting kind of big, and that was like a wake-up call. And I remember connecting with Tony, man, and Tony was like, Yo, you

Do this thing for me. I won't, I won't put his business out there, but it's like you do this for me, help me in this area, and I'll help you in this area, this physical training thing. And for a year, for a year, we met five in the morning, Pasadena, Old Town. There was a Bally's out there. And he would get me in every morning and work me out, train me, man. I dropped 75 pounds in a year.

And I got from like two, I'm trying to do the math, like 245 or whatever. excuse me. But I got down to 172 with him. I kept running, gotten into running, and I got all the way down to 170. That was my that was my primo weight right there, baby. My primo weight. so but my point is: Tony knew physical training. I did not. Tony, I need help. Rudy, I need help.

Help Dwayne, I need help. Kenichi, I need help. Pastor Kerwin, I need help. Dwayne, I need help. Damon, I need help. And the list goes on and on and on. Another one that comes to mind shout out to Vince Wiggins. Yes, man. V dug. Toledo, Ohio, first church. We had small groups, and Vince Wiggins was over one of the small groups.

And he was one of the men that would meet with me on Saturdays and we'd open up that Bible. And he showed me what it meant to be a man who knew how to cry, who was okay with shedding a tear and being vulnerable and being real and being honest. Right? He had a family, a wife and kids. And yeah, man. Like I could sit here all day. But I think you get my point. I think you get my point. Every area of my life that mattered, I got a mentor.

⁓ shout out to a few more brothers that's coming to mind. Brad Arnold, Pastor Dina Church. Chris Heel, Pastor Dina Church. Herlin Redman, Pastor Dina Church. Some of these men have moved on, they got their own churches and and and stuff now. But just men that are coming to mind, man. So many men. I know I'm still forgetting people. So if you see this and I failed to say your name, charge it to

Man, just charge it to my to my heart, to my head. I forgot how the old saying goes, charge it to something. But listen, man, ⁓ yeah, I apologize if I forgot you. But if you're watching, if you're listening, see what I'm saying? I have somebody for every area of my life. Does it always work out that way? No. But here's what I do know. If you stay at it, if you become resilient, determined, if you see value in this enough.

You'll get it done. It may not look the same way for you that it looked for me, but if you keep saying those three words, I need help to enough people, the right people will reveal themselves. And this is not without flaw or failure or complication, but it works. Being humble enough to say I need help.

Again, I just wanted to put this out there because I've been asked so many times how I've been able to stay consistent, how my life has been able to transform, how am I able to continue to show up? It's because I've continued to ask for help. These three powerful words, I need help to specific people that have specific skill sets that you don't have.

In specific areas, asking them to mentor you, to coach you, to show up for you. And some will, some won't. Stay at it. It's a numbers game. If the first one don't bite, ask another. And again, some of these folks you gotta pay for because they're professionals and they charge. But there are also many of you.

In my church community, my church audience, there are men in your church, men in your community, men at the gym that you go to, men at the coffee shop that you attend, men that are just in the neighborhood, men on your job. When you put this in your awareness, I'm looking for men to help me out in a particular area, and you begin to talk about it, and you begin to think about it, and you begin to meditate on it, life will follow your lead.

Give your life something to be led by. Life is, it's like life wakes up every morning and says, okay, where are we going? Where are you leading me? And you have to give life something to be led by. Be led by the humility, the honesty, the transparency, the realness that you need help. That you need help. I needed help. You need help. We all need help. We were not.

Created to do life on our own. Nothing in life lives apart from relationship. Nothing in life lives apart from relationship, partnership. Everything succeeds because of relationship. Relationship from me to another, and what I preach and teach: relationship between you and yourself. Self-leadership, right?

Intrapersonal connection, intrapersonal communication, intrapersonal cultivation, which allows you to then have a greater interpersonal relationship that will lead you from being stuck to being successful. I know this was valuable. I don't have to ask, does this make sense? I know it does. I don't have to ask you, did this you know add value? I know it did.

All I'm asking you to do and all that I'm encouraging you to do is to apply it. Search your soul and identify whatever is gonna hold you back from asking for help, for from asking for help and address it head on. Interrogate that thing and decide. Are you gonna hold on to the pride? Are you gonna hold on to the perceived possibility of shame? Are you gonna hold on to the perceived possibility of embarrassment?

Or are you going to take a freaking step forward and put it out there that I need help from a specific person who's really good at a specific thing that you're not so good at? Get that help, get that information, then apply it consistently. That was the other piece to the puzzle. When I would inquire of these people.

And they share their knowledge, they share their wisdom, they share the strategies. I applied it 26 years of application, expanding my awareness and application, putting to work quickly the information that I receive. That's the blueprint. That's the success story. That's my before and my after. That's how I got.

To where I am. And that's why I'm going to get to where I'm going. Because I'm going to cultivate and connect with the right relationships that are gonna get me there. And the same is true for you. All right. Love you guys, praying for you guys, believing in you guys. That is it. This is the I Am the Possible Podcast experience, the place where possibilities become.

Perspective, please remember your change is possible, possible through this practice.