The Fatherhood Formula: Become The Dad You Deserved As A Child

What happens when you decide to become the father you never had?

In this episode of the iAMthepossible podcast , I sit down with Michael Hulsey for a powerful conversation about fatherhood, healing from the pain of an absent dad, becoming a present father, and turning what you lacked into how you love.


About Micheal

Michael is a proud husband and father of five children and has three grandchildren. He currently resides in Montgomery Texas with his wife of 27 years.

He started a shoe and clothing line called Jacany Collection as a project with his children. He is the author of the book Thirty Second Hug. 

Michael loves to travel has an affinity for art and architecture and is a car enthusiast.

Find/Follow Michael...

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Buy His Book...

• click here

Michael shares how growing up without the fatherly presence he desired created an emptiness in him—but instead of allowing that pain to define him, he made a decision to show up differently for his children.

We talk about what it means to be a father, a husband, and a more intentional man. We also discuss the power of gratitude, journaling, emotional availability, faith, family, and leading your children by example.

If you are a father, husband, parent, or man who wants to heal from the past, build a stronger family, and show up with more love, presence, purpose, and authenticity, i encourage you watch.

Because sometimes the greatest gift you can give your children is becoming the person you needed when you were younger.

Your change is possible.... with PRACTICE!

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Transcript

Treveal C.W. Lynch (00:01)
Hey guys, welcome once again into the space, into the place. You know what it is, you know where you are. Yes, yes. It is the I am the possible podcast experience. Yes, the place where possibilities become perspective. Guys, I am so excited about today's episode. Today I get to sit down with

A dear brother that I met online. He is someone that I sincerely admire, respect, and I'm so excited about sharing him with you. He has made success, real success, extremely simple. And in our conversation today, he's gonna share his life, his background, his amazing relationship with his family.

And he's going to share some very simple yet powerful strategies for you to show up in your life in a more genuine, authentic, and a more present way. So if you're someone who's looking to be a better father, a better husband, better person in this world, you want to show up for those that you love and care for in a more genuine and a

more authentic way. If you're someone who just wants to do life with a greater level of gratitude and a greater awareness of what we can be thankful for, then today's episode is for you. He is a powerful example of what it is to be a man just on a mission to make this world, and I know it may sound cliche, but it's just

It's just real to make this world a better place. I want to read his bio and then I want to get right into the conversation

His name is Michael Hulsey. Michael is a proud husband and father of five children and his three grandchildren. He currently resides in Montgomery, Texas with his wife of 27 years. He started a shoe company and clothing line called Jakani Collection as a project with his children. He is the author of the book 30 Second Hugs.

Love that title by the way. Michael loves to travel and has an affinity for art and architecture and is a car enthusiast. Without further delay, let's get right into my conversation with Michael Halsey. Enjoy.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (02:59)
Well, first off, Mike, man, I I wanna just thank you so much for just giving giving me and giving us ⁓ a few, a few moments of your time. Time is so precious. Life is so precious. And I'm just looking forward to hearing your heart. I've been watching you as you've been watching me on Facebook. And I think that's where we first got connected and watching each other's content and kind of watching each other's journey and listening to each other's story. And

Michael Hulsey (03:01)
Happy.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (03:27)
There's a few things that I've noticed and I've been watching and admiring you for from afar that I wanna get into. ⁓ but I know that today's conversation, it kind of started ⁓ from a conversation online around believing in oneself. I think you have posted to believe in yourself and I I commented on it and I just thought it was a good moment, a good opportunity for us to.

Michael Hulsey (03:36)
Okay. Okay.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (03:55)
Just talk about

this thing called belief and why it's so important and how do we get to the point where we can believe in ourselves. But before we get into any of that, man, why don't you just share just who you are, where you're from, a little bit about your family, a little bit about your background. Just just kind of bring us up to speed in terms of just who you are.

Michael Hulsey (04:15)
All right, well, I just want to say, hey, I'm very grateful that our paths crossed as they did, even through social media. You know, I've never met you, never had dinner with you or anything, but I feel close. I feel close to you just by what you've shared online.

comments, interactions, things like that. So I really do appreciate you. Appreciate what you're doing. A little bit about me. I live in Montgomery, Texas. So people think Montgomery, they think of Alabama, but I'm here in Texas, just North Houston. If people don't know what Montgomery, Texas is, I have five children. One thing is they range from 35 years old to eight years old. So.

I do have an eight year old. is a true blessing, keeps me young and, and, know, it was orchestrated by God, of course, you know. ⁓ I do have three grandchildren. ⁓ My oldest son lives in San Antonio. He has a son, eight year, nine years old now. And then my daughter, she has two boys, nine and five, and she is pregnant. So she's, welcome another one in here. True blessing for her. ⁓

Treveal C.W. Lynch (05:09)
Yes.

⁓ Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (05:29)
in August, so I'm happy for that, yes sir. ⁓ And you know, younger, when I was younger, didn't have, I didn't believe, I didn't have a lot of belief, because all you heard was negative things. You can't do this, you can't do that. You're not worthy, you're not.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (05:31)
Congratulations, man.

Mm-hmm.

Michael Hulsey (05:56)
You know, you're worthless. That's kind of what was brought in, you know, by adult figures and parents and things like that. ⁓ But I know you wanted to know a little bit about myself. You know, as far as his work, I've done a little bit of everything. ⁓ Right now I do sales. So I'm in sales here. I've done multiple things. I was tasked to be a jester at one time, traveled a lot.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (06:16)
Okay.

Michael Hulsey (06:25)
done a little bit of insurance, ⁓ did retail, you know, I've been in the retail industry too as well and had a little real estate here and there, my own, ⁓ you know, authored a little book during the pandemic, just because we were sitting around doing nothing. So I had to get some things off, you know, off my chest and out there to, you know, help somebody if I could. And ⁓ we, my kids and I, we put a little... ⁓

Treveal C.W. Lynch (06:35)
Okay.

Michael Hulsey (06:53)
A little thing together, a little shoe thing together. So my daughter's name is Bethany. So I took the A-N-Y and my son's name is Jacob. I took the J-A-C and I made Jocani. So we put a little shoe game together, just playing around. We're not trying to be Nike or anything, but ⁓ just a little project to do something as a family. But that's...

pretty much all about me right there in a 30 second blurb there.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (07:27)
⁓ Yeah, man. No, it it it's really interesting. Like the number of things that you've done and the number of things that you're doing, you seem to be extremely family oriented. You seem to be extremely creative when it comes to the family structure. I know we've talked offline and you've shared with me a little bit more about your story and your background, and I certainly want you to share that with the audience today. But what do you think makes you such

Michael Hulsey (07:29)
.

Thank

Treveal C.W. Lynch (07:57)
A creative in the home. Like sometimes we see artists who paint, or you even spoke about writing a book, right? Writing is a form of art. Or we see musicians who play instruments or they sing and dance, and that's artistry. But as you were talking, what was coming to mind for me was you have a heart, you have a mind, you have a creative way of connecting ⁓ your family.

Michael Hulsey (08:02)
Mm-hmm.

In point.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (08:26)
And being involved within the family. And that might be something that someone needs to hear or someone needs to better understand. Because I don't know if we're very creative when it comes, you know, domestically within our home. Can you share more around maybe where that came from or why that's important to you or where that inspiration comes from?

Michael Hulsey (08:49)
Yeah, I sure will. And thank you for asking, making it easy for me. So ⁓ I would say, when I was younger, I didn't really have that father figure in my life. I was going to go into the military. My brother, he went into the military. He did 26 years. He retired. ⁓ And I was going in. I wanted to go in. I ⁓ met with the recruiters.

And then I found out that the lady, wasn't married, but the lady I was with, she was pregnant and my son would be coming right there when I was going to be in basic training. So I pulled out because I didn't have that father figure. And I told myself, I'm not going to be an absentee dad. I'm going to be there. I'm going to be involved. ⁓ And they, they told me, they said, well, if you don't go now, you'll never go.

and he was right, you know, because they know the statistics. You know, I just told him after after my son's born, then we'll reevaluate it, you know, and and I didn't go in, you know, and I don't regret it. ⁓ I was there for my son. And that was the main thing. I wanted to be a good father because I didn't have that, you know, I didn't have that father figure in my life. And I and I made a vow. I promised to myself that I'm to be the best, the greatest father that I could.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (09:55)
Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (10:16)
that I could be in. And, you know, we do the best we can. We fail. ⁓ You know, we fail, but we do the best that we can. And that's really where I got that and the creativity and everything. ⁓ I just I find things to do with my kids. We go out of our way to really ⁓ to really do it on them, really tell them that we love them, tell them that we're proud of them, tell them that they they do matter. They do mean.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (10:17)
Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (10:45)
a lot to us and you know we say ⁓ we would die for them you know we'd die for our child but then when they want to play ball or something we're like we don't have time you know how can we say that we would just give our life up for them but we don't have five minutes to throw the ball around play basketball my daughter she wants to play basketball she's terrible you know but we get out there we

Treveal C.W. Lynch (10:52)
Mm-hmm.

Michael Hulsey (11:12)
try to hoop it up a little bit. She wants to learn how to skate. And I'm just worried, you know, but you got to let them, you got to let them try it. You know, I tell her, hey, you're great at basketball, let's go play. You know, you want to, she wanted to run. I do a little exercise in the morning and ⁓ she wanted to run us. And I told her, no, let me just run. And I was thinking, you know, it's right after father's day. We went through father's day, a really, really awesome day for dads, right?

Treveal C.W. Lynch (11:12)
Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (11:40)
And she goes, Dad, just let me, you know, I said, well, take your scooter. And she's like, no, Dad, I want to run. OK, so I said, let's go. And we started running and we made it around the block. And she's like, Dad, you're right. You know, maybe I'll just stop back at the house. You know, and I told her and I said, I'm very proud of you for persevering, for for wanting to do it, you know, and being there because my son, he rode the bike and he was riding the bike. And I said, hey, if

Treveal C.W. Lynch (12:00)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (12:10)
But at some point she wants to come back, bring her back to the house. she was very adamant to go. And I'm glad that I didn't say, no, I just want to get my run over. No, it meant a lot to her. And so it meant a lot to me. we did that. We did ⁓ 0.48 of a mile. And I told her her stats. I said, you were doing about a 13 minute mile. That's really great for your age, your eight years old. ⁓

Treveal C.W. Lynch (12:13)
Yeah.

All right.

Michael Hulsey (12:40)
a program called Girls on the Run and they can start it at third grade. So she's going to look into that, you know, so she can run with me a little bit more. So I'm really happy that she wanted to do that. But so often ⁓ we deter our kids from doing something because maybe it's going to inconvenience us, you know. ⁓ And that's the thing like this morning she wants.

She wanted French toast. She loves French toast. And where I got the French toast from was my grandmother. And every time I make French toast, it reminds me of my grandmother. So I make it often. I love it. And we get the thick bread and I put the powdered sugar, I put the cinnamon on there and the good syrup and we go all out with that. But it's, we love doing that.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (13:19)
⁓ yeah.

Michael Hulsey (13:35)
⁓ One thing is, you know, we don't want to deter our kids from doing whatever they want because we might, I mean, I know that she's not going to be an all-star basketball player or is she, you know? ⁓ So we'll foster that, you know? And then if she goes, she wants to play soccer, we'll do soccer. She wants to do gymnastics or ballet. We'll move around and we'll navigate wherever she wants to be because she's eight years old. So we didn't know what we wanted to do at eight, you know?

Treveal C.W. Lynch (13:48)
Yeah.

That is so powerful, man. That is so powerful. The idea that we will say, we will we often profess with our mouths, you know, we will die for our children. And I guess we believe that. But it was so powerful what you said. But yet we will not find time to do the things that they wanna, that they wanna do. We don't find time to do the things that will inconvenience us. But what would be more

Like like how can you imagine anything more inconvenient than dying? But the simple things we won't we won't do. W Okay, I'm gonna ask you to share what you share with me about your father, because I think that's important for us to hear and to understand. But before you do that.

Michael Hulsey (14:43)
Yes.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (15:00)
Where did that example come from? Or where did the seed get sown in you? I don't think a man just shows up in the world and runs with his daughter and literally takes time to say, we ran.4 and you were on a 13-minute mile track, and this is I mean, that's details. That's intention. That's that's presence. That's

Michael Hulsey (15:08)
.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (15:29)
Value and care and showing up for your child. I don't I mean, at least I at least I don't believe that it happens just by chance or it just kind of comes out of nowhere. Can you share? Did someone say something to you at some point? Did someone instill something in you? Did you read a book? Was there a principle that you came across? What do you think contributes to you showing up in that way? Because many times we can be as fathers.

Michael Hulsey (15:37)
Okay.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (15:58)
physically present in the home. But what I'm hearing from you is you're not only physically present, but you're emotionally available. And I think that's a huge, huge difference. ⁓ so how how did that happen for you? How how did you become that that kind of father?

Michael Hulsey (16:07)
Yeah.

Well, so there was an emptiness is what that's the best way I can explain it is when I was younger there was an emptiness ⁓ in me so I You know, we I was in a small town We if you whatever sport you play you kind of played them all because there was not a lot, you know And I wasn't good at many of them

And I just long for somebody to be there. I long for somebody to cheer me on. I long for somebody to call my name and say, hey, that's my boy. And I didn't have that, you know? And that affected me. And like I said earlier, I made a vow and I said, I'm going to be that father that I never had. And we're in a small town. My dad, he...

At one point, he lived across the street from my grandmother. And I could see him and he could see me, but there was no interaction. There was no, you know, and I went to his mom, my mamaw, which I really loved her. I adored her. ⁓ I'd go over there and spend the night. And my uncle, my dad's brother from, you know, it's a half brother, but my uncle was only a couple of years older.

So he was almost like a cousin. We didn't call him uncle. He was like my cousin, you know? And we hung out with him. We had a good time. Saturday morning, we watched cartoons and, you know, we had, he was almost like a father figure to me, I guess. ⁓ He was there for me. ⁓ My mom had, she married a couple, you know, she married another gentleman and I had a brother. have a half brother. And his dad kind of, you know, took me under his wing. And I remember,

Treveal C.W. Lynch (17:37)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Michael Hulsey (18:04)
you know, the good times with him. He did buy me a bicycle and you know, that might be insignificant for most people, but it was the world to me because that's the first time a father figure, some man got me something and said, here, this is yours. This is all yours. Just a simple thing as a bike. But it didn't last long. The marriage didn't last long. That was in Chicago. So I was, you know, a couple of years in Chicago when I was younger.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (18:11)
⁓

Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (18:34)
We moved back to Texas and just had that emptiness. When it was like my daughter at school, you have the day when you have open house. You go and you see everything they've done and the art and everything and all that stuff. And we didn't go to that. I didn't have anybody to go to that. It was missing. I just wanted somebody to see, look.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (18:46)
Mm-hmm.

Right. Yep.

Mm.

Michael Hulsey (19:01)
My painting is ugly, but look at it. You know, it's just acknowledge me and I just wanted somebody to acknowledge me. I just wanted somebody to say that, you know, good job. Just a simple word. You know, this is even before somebody says I love you. You know, I just wanted somebody to acknowledge me. ⁓ And, you know, the teacher would say, you're dead. You know, back then it was, they didn't really send anything home.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (19:14)
Well

Michael Hulsey (19:30)
with you, they just said, hey, tonight's open house. You tonight is art. know, tonight is this, tonight is that. And you would just tell your parents, you know, now I don't miss anything. If they have something, I'm there, you know. And we had spoke, you know, before about the Watchdog program. You know, it's DOGS, that's dads of great students. And that's a...

Treveal C.W. Lynch (19:30)
Right.

Well.

Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (19:56)
program, check it out. know, if you're a dad and you have children, check it out because it's a place where you can volunteer and you can be that male figure in the in the lives of the children. You don't correct them. You don't do anything. You're just there. They see you. You you read to them. You help them read. You help them work on things. You're in small groups and you're not a teacher.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (20:19)
Mm-hmm.

Michael Hulsey (20:24)
You know, you're just a dad, you know? And then what we do is we also, we check the perimeter. We go outside of the school because you know what's going on with the schools these days. And we'll check the perimeter of the school, make sure it's locked down. We'll come back in and we'll go to the next class. The teachers, they line your day out. The first class, you're with your child. The second class, you're usually with your child.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (20:31)
No I mean.

Mm-hmm.

Michael Hulsey (20:53)
and ⁓ you have ⁓ recess with your child. You might even do PE, but then there's other classes you'll go to. Your child's not in that class, but they see you. And the cool part is when they see you in public, these kids come up to you. You know, they're high-fiving you. They're like, you know, my last name is Holsey. Mr. Holsey, how you doing? ⁓ you know, that's Leah's dad. That's Leah's dad. He's the watchdog, you know?

Treveal C.W. Lynch (20:58)
Hm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (21:22)
And you're

like this little hero to the kids and it gives them, you know, they also open it up for a big brother as long as they're over 18, an uncle, ⁓ a stepdad, ⁓ you know, and it does make an impact on these kids. You can see the change in these kids. You can see the impact that you're having on these kids. And I love that and I've done it. The two older kids, I didn't even know about it.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (21:34)
Hmm. Wow.

Michael Hulsey (21:51)
It actually started in 1998, so it really wasn't there. But the last three children I have, I've done it ⁓ every year. ⁓ And the funny thing is they went to the same school, elementary school that my wife did, you know, 50 years ago. Don't want to give her age away, ⁓ yeah, so school is still there. It's still thriving. ⁓ So I think... ⁓

Treveal C.W. Lynch (21:59)
Mm-hmm.

Okay. Yeah, no, we wanna age right. ⁓

Michael Hulsey (22:20)
Just that emptiness in me drove me to do that. And then somebody just not saying, hey, way to go, nice job. That's what it was. I just needed that. And then I promised, hey, I'm going to do that for my kids. I'm going to do that. And I do it to the strangers. I tell my daughter, you know.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (22:45)
Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (22:48)
If you smile at the world, the world smiles back. So I teach my daughter and all my kids, you say what you want, like if you see somebody and you like their outfit, their fingernail, their hair, say it, hey, I love your hair. I love your fingernail. Give them, I tell them that because when you smile at the world, it smiles back. And I say, if they give you a compliment, I said, don't just say something, but

Treveal C.W. Lynch (22:51)
Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (23:17)
Give them a true compliment back, know, reciprocate that, you know, and they see that and people say, wow, you have great kids, you know, and that's the, gets me right here. You know, when somebody really says, hey, you have some great children, some awesome, well-behaved, ⁓ you know, and I don't spoil them, you know, I mean, to a certain degree, of course, but, ⁓

Treveal C.W. Lynch (23:28)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, man.

Yeah. ⁓

Michael Hulsey (23:47)
You know, they do their part. They do their part. They're very respectful. I feel that I raised them right. That's all we can do is just do our best. And one thing that I really liked, just ⁓ one thing I really liked that you had, you had another podcast and it was about men and it was three words that we don't

Treveal C.W. Lynch (23:54)
Mm.

Michael Hulsey (24:16)
we don't say. And you know, and guess what? I was like, ⁓ man, this is easy. This is easy. it's a spoiler alert, okay? But if you don't mind, I was like, ⁓ the three words, it's I love you. We don't say I love you, but you know what? That wasn't it. And I kept watching and I was like, ⁓ he's coming to it. It's gonna be, please forgive me, you three words. And then he kept going and I'm like, what, that ain't it either?

Treveal C.W. Lynch (24:26)
Right. No, please.

Yeah yeah.

Michael Hulsey (24:46)
And then, you know, when you said it, when you said it, it touched me, you know? And I thought about those people that helped me. And some aren't here anymore and others are. I reached out to, you know, I sent them a text or a call and just said, hey, thank you. And I don't know if you want me to spoil it or maybe some people.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (25:03)
Mm-hmm.

No, please. Yeah, you know you. Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (25:15)
we'll see it, but the three

words, I need help.

I need help. And ⁓ we don't ask that a lot. We don't. We don't. ⁓ We don't. We're too, we're macho, you know. We're like, I don't need no help. What are you talking about? No, we do. We do need help. Occasionally we need help. And you know what? Occasionally we're helpers too. And we have to, and we encourage those people to ask us for help as well.

because I realized when I was younger, I needed help, but I didn't know who to turn to. I didn't know who to ask because I didn't have that person there. And then they started coming into my life, whether it's a pastor, like you said, that became a great friend to me ⁓ and just different family members. There wasn't a lot there. I didn't have a lot of family members that were positive. ⁓

Treveal C.W. Lynch (26:04)
Yeah, uh-huh.

Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (26:19)
but there was other people out there that ⁓ I did ask for help, you know? And they were right there, they helped me. And that's one thing that it doesn't hurt. ⁓ You're less of a man, less of a person to reach out and say, need help. And I really love that one. It really impacted me. And thank you, thank you for sharing that because yeah, I was thinking, yeah, it's

Treveal C.W. Lynch (26:27)
⁓

Right. Nope.

Yeah.

Mm.

Michael Hulsey (26:47)
Three words, I love you. We don't say it enough. You know, we're so manchurian, we don't say I love you or please forgive me. know, please forgive me is hard one to say too, because then what you're saying is, hey, I was wrong. I did something. ⁓ I'm guilty. You know, please forgive me. But hey, I need help. That's a strong one too. And I appreciate you for that one.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (26:49)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

⁓

man, wow. Yeah, that that really blesses me, man. You never know who needs what. You never know what's gonna land, what's gonna stick. You just know that, or at least my philosophy is if I need it, someone else needs it. If it if it matters to me, then it probably matters to someone else.

Michael Hulsey (27:32)
Mm-hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (27:37)
If I'm going through it, then probably someone else is going through it. And so you create and you put it out there and you just want to contribute to just to humanity's improvement, betterment, encouragement. ⁓ so I that just means a lot to me that you remembered it.

Michael Hulsey (27:48)
Thank you.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (28:05)
When someone remembers something, it's ⁓ it's pretty powerful and it's pretty meaningful. And ⁓ one thing that I remember from you, which is really my next question.

Michael Hulsey (28:12)
you

Treveal C.W. Lynch (28:22)
I have watched so many, I don't think I've seen many videos, maybe one or two videos, but I've certainly seen still shot photos and things that you've said or just posted between you and your daughter. And you have a a precious daughter, by the way. Just beautiful, precious soul. Every e every time I see her, she's like she could light up the room. And not even

Michael Hulsey (28:35)
Thank you.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (28:50)
Could but I know that she does light up the room w when she smiles, man. And seeing your relationship with her and you letting us into that and ⁓ showing that example, being that example, is just such a beautiful thing. And I I I just wanted to ask you

Michael Hulsey (28:52)
That's good. Thank you.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (29:15)
It's one thing to do what you do in the privacy of your own home, in the privacy of your own life. And that would be more than sufficient. Like totally sufficient. You just being dad, being the husband, being the father, being the the guy in the community, and just doing what you do. But you take the time to let us into it.

Michael Hulsey (29:16)
Okay.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (29:46)
You post. You don't have to like social media is a choice. And I've remembered moments and times when you would be in different places and you would just seem like you just kind of cut the camera on and you just spoke. And what I've admired about you over the years is that you don't wait until you're polished and perfect, and the lighting is well and the audio is perfect.

Michael Hulsey (29:47)
You

Treveal C.W. Lynch (30:15)
And you got it all together and and you you've taken courses on public speaking, you're just you're just sharing your your your yourself and your life. What is it that you want others to know? If there's one thing you want that stranger to know, that person that's scrolling through Facebook and they just come across your post, like what is it that you want

Michael Hulsey (30:21)
Okay.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (30:43)
Others, the world, humanity, what is it that you want others to know, to understand, to be aware of? Because you're choosing to let us into something that's that's beautiful. And you don't have to do that, but you're choosing to do it. And I just wanted to know if you can just unpack that for us. What do you envision

Michael Hulsey (30:45)
Okay.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (31:04)
for the life of those that would come across your content?

Michael Hulsey (31:08)
Well, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You were playing softball. You're just lobbing them up. I love that. I love it. You know, really, it's authenticity. You know, I don't I don't want to go and, know, like you said, I don't want to wait for the right time and the right light and and the and then the polished and go and edit and redo and let's do another take and all that. I just do it.

Because that's real, that's raw, that's real, and that's what life is. ⁓ Social media, we see a lot of things and it's, we believe certain things, but that's really not real life. if I want, what I say on there is I'm usually first talking to myself because there's something in me that just clicked and it said, hey.

You're not enough and then I go in and go in and say hey you are enough. You are awesome. You are amazing. You're beautiful, you know? ⁓ And I'll say that on there and I'm talking to myself and then that next person like you said, ⁓ you know, it really inspires you that somebody would remember something that you did and we're just trying to we're talking to ourselves, but we're trying to help just one person, ourself and one person and pass it on and let that one person help one person.

It expands, right? And with the kids, know, one thing is, it's one thing to tell your kid, like my daughter, say, just, I want you to finish everything on your plate. Eat your vegetables. You gotta do this. I don't do that. What I do is say, one thing, one rule is you have to try everything. You have to try everything. But then I'm like, hey, I'll eat all of my vegetables. I'll set the example, you know?

Treveal C.W. Lynch (32:29)
Mm. Mm.

Right.

Come on. Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (32:56)
If I'm going to do something, I'm going to set the example for her first.

⁓ I'm going to show her how to do it. I'm going to say, hey, ⁓ let's do this together. Let's try this together. And I'll just set the example. then sometimes she'll chime in and she wants to do, let me do a little video, And she did one for the teachers. It was National Teachers Day. And we don't do a second take.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (33:20)
Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (33:26)
You know, there's one where she she gets on there and she's talking and she drops the camera or the phone. It's like, oops, ⁓ there you are. And she starts talking again. And we never it never crossed our mind to like, let's let's redo that. You know, that's that's real life. ⁓ And that's that's where we experience in this real life. And and I don't want her to to think that, ⁓ you know, she has to make anything up or or.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (33:28)
Yeah.

Ha ha ha.

Yeah, man.

Mm-hmm.

Michael Hulsey (33:54)
or say, you know, do something that she has to redo it because it's not good enough. You know, your best, you put your best effort, that's good enough for me. If it's good enough for you, it's good enough for me. And when people, the people will criticize you and say, look, you know, you're not, you know, you're not this or that, you know, but who are those people? know, ⁓ they're,

Treveal C.W. Lynch (33:58)
no.

Wow.

Michael Hulsey (34:21)
Maybe there's like a mirror, know? In the reflection of the mirror, you know, I tell my daughter, like, if you look in the mirror and your bow is out of whack or your hair is messed up or something, you don't change the mirror, you change yourself. You know, you really, ⁓ if you see something in somebody else that's lacking, it's really something that's within you. And then you have to address that first, you know?

Treveal C.W. Lynch (34:24)
Uh-huh.

Michael Hulsey (34:50)
So I try to teach by example. I really do everything that I do, really try to show and do it by example.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (35:05)
Wow, man. Wow, that's powerful. That that's that's that's ⁓ that's you know, it is the simplicity that I have seen over the years, because I've been in this public speaking, this coaching training space for 20 plus years, and boy, boy, boy, we can certainly complicate everything and that simplicity of it's just if it's good enough for me.

Michael Hulsey (35:19)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (35:35)
You know, if it's good enough for you, it it's it's it's good enough. It's that's not reality when we're when we're putting on the show and and and we're doing different things. It it's it's it's you've taken the complexity out of it. And that's something that I really admire about you. Cause we've had those talks where, you know, you've talked about me having some of this technical stuff and all of this. ⁓ and it has its purposes and it serves its purposes, but you've got the real gold, man.

Michael Hulsey (35:45)
Okay.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (36:04)
Like you've got the real gold, a genuine heart, a heart that's willing to share, a heart that's willing to say and show what others might call flaws or failures or ⁓ imperfect, you know, being being being imperfect is is just an amazing quality that I see why when I speak to you and I see you, there's a genuine ⁓

Michael Hulsey (36:09)
Thank

You

Treveal C.W. Lynch (36:34)
I don't know if it's joy or or or or peace or calm, but it's not where it's being manufactured by something that's outstanding. And that's always been my heart for people to be okay within themselves and not be dependent on anything outside themselves to be genuinely okay. I mean, we all go through ups and downs. We all go through trauma and drama. We we all life has got those things just baked into the that's just life.

But I'm but but I'm talking about that day to day when I can wake up and say I'm

Michael Hulsey (37:04)
Yes.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (37:08)
okay, it's I'm okay because I'm okay within myself. Can you can you share anything that you do? Cause oftentimes when we do podcasts, people want to take away things, right? Tips and tricks and how tos and three steps to this and three steps to that. So as I'm thinking about how simple you've made it and how much I just admire the simplicity, I admire

Michael Hulsey (37:19)
Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (37:33)
your genuine take, your ability to be imperfect and to be okay with being imperfect. Is there anything that you can share with the audience, those who are watching, those who are listening, if they're in their heart and mind saying, Man, I want to be more like Mike. I want to be more like Michael. I never even asked you, do you prefer Michael or do you prefer Mike? 'Cause I don't want to call you anything that you don't prefer. Okay, I alright, cause I okay, yeah, 'cause you know how to

Michael Hulsey (37:55)
Whatever you want to call me. It doesn't matter to me, yes sir.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (38:04)
In the black community, man, we are always trying to mess with somebody's name, man. So I'm all so we always want to twist up somebody's name, short, shorten it, or give you a nickname or something like that. But if you prefer Michael, I'll certainly call you Michael. ⁓ but yeah, but if someone's listening and and watching and they're saying, man, I want to be, I want to be more like Mike, right? I don't know if you remember back the old campaigns, I want to be like Mike, I want to be like Mike, right? Michael Jordan. Somebody is watching right now.

Michael Hulsey (38:27)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (38:34)
Someone's listening and they want to be more like Mike. You, Mike, you. They want to be more like you. Is there anything that you do, anything that you practice? Morning routines, nightly routines, some kind of prayer that you pray, some sort of ⁓ activity that you involve yourself in? Is there anything that you do that you say this contributes to?

Michael Hulsey (38:34)
Hmm

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (39:03)
to the way I show up in the world that someone else might be able to replicate or they may be able to consider ⁓ installing in into their daily routine.

Michael Hulsey (39:15)
Well, thank you. I appreciate that you're asking the like I said, the easy questions, because ⁓ one thing is I just I mean, the whole goal is really to evolve, to continue to evolve, to be, you know, become your best version of you. I'm sure people have said that before. I'm just trying to get one just that little bit better each and every day. and and ⁓ I know you spoke about planning your morning.

And I've done this for a long time. I used to wake up really early, like 3.30, 4, 4.30, you know, cause the guru said, Hey, the earlier you wake up, you know, the more productive you are during the day, you know? But, but after, you know, with my daughter, yeah, I have to wake up and then there are certain things that I have to do, right? I can't wake up and go for a run and, know, do little things like that, that where she's not here. If my wife goes to work or I go to work. So one thing that I do,

Treveal C.W. Lynch (39:49)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (40:11)
⁓ is when I do wake up first before I even hit, you know, get out of bed, I at least acknowledge 10 things that I'm grateful for. this morning, one thing was you, you know, I'm grateful for Trudy L ⁓ and ⁓ for this podcast and for the opportunity to speak and for just us knowing each other and.

and just ⁓ the opportunity to share something with somebody that might ⁓ impact their life. That's the first thing. I'll at least do 10. And then I'll write down, I'll write as many as I can because when you look around, when you look around, you see, we take for granted a lot of things. ⁓ When you're like, ⁓ man, look at my shoes. My shoes are, I need new shoes. Some people don't even have feet.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (40:58)
Mm-hmm.

Michael Hulsey (41:07)
So be thankful for your shoes, for your feet, for your socks. I just do like a little gratitude rampage. I just speak it out and then I try to write it and I'll write it out. And then I'll kind of plan out my day. I write in a journal every day. I use an example. So I write it and I say, I ask my daughter when she gets up, where's your journal? Write it twice a day.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (41:07)
Yeah.

Mm.

Mm.

No.

Michael Hulsey (41:36)
force her to do it, I just suggest it. And then she sees me writing in mine, then she gets hers. She asked for her birthday, was just May 26th. She wanted a journal with a lock on it so she can do her private stuff in there. So she has her regular journal, then she has her little, it's kind of like a diary thing, whatever. And I respect that. I'm not gonna ever open it and read it unless she asks me to. You know, she's eight years old. What could she write in there that's bad, right? ⁓

Treveal C.W. Lynch (41:55)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (42:06)
So

that's one thing that I do. of course, you know, I'm a believer. I thank God. I'll sit there five, six, 10 minutes, depending on how long it is, and I'll just close my eyes and I'll just thank God. I'll just thank you for this. Thank you for that. It's the same thing with gratitude, you know. I'm grateful for this. I'm grateful for that. But just thanking God, connecting, just thanking for, you know.

from ⁓ healthy children for my health, for great eyesight. And I'll just go through the things that you never even think of like, hey, thank you that I seen a blue jay today. It reminded me of my grandma. Thank you for the Cardinal, the red bird that they're bringing joy to my life. And I'll just do, that's really what I do in the morning. I'm kind ⁓ of far away from a gym and then there's a lot of things going on.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (42:36)
Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, no.

Michael Hulsey (43:01)
I know you like to go early. get you do a little run and gym and stuff. the days I'm off, I do take a I do a jog run. You know, I'm not an endurance runner. Although I say thank you, God, that I'm a marathon runner, even though I'm not. I always say that because I know that, you know, I'm old, right? I'm getting older. So I don't think I'm going to run one. But when I thank God that I am one, he'll give me the strength to at least do three miles.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (43:06)
Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

⁓ yeah. ⁓

Rumm.

Michael Hulsey (43:31)
And then, I'll do two, three, four miles, whatever I feel like, come back in and just love all my family. ⁓ If I'm going to work, I do all that except for the run. I'll go on to work. Sometimes I'll run when I get home. But I do a little exercise, but I do more mental exercise, spiritual exercise than I do physical. But I think when I do the...

Treveal C.W. Lynch (43:40)
Yeah. Hmm.

Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (43:59)
The spiritual, he gives me the physical, right? He makes me healthy. He keeps me healthy. I really do believe that if I just thank him for all the things I have, more things will come. And I just don't take them for granted, because it's easy to take things for granted. I mean, I'm on a podcast with you. What more could I ask for?

Treveal C.W. Lynch (44:08)
Yeah.

yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hm, yeah. Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (44:28)
You know, I have a roof over my head here.

have a beautiful wife and children, a phone that I can communicate with you. So there's just so many things to be thankful for. And that's really my routine. I do it every day, seven days a week. I'll write in my journal seven days a week. I'll do a gratitude, I have an attitude of gratitude, if you want to call it that.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (44:37)
That's right.

Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (44:55)
⁓ I'll write them down and sometimes I'll do like a whole week and in the morning I'll write 10 things and in the evening I'll write 10 things. And then the next day, the second day I'll write 20 and 20 all the way to the seventh day I'll write 70 and 70. And if you think you can't think of 70 things, you can. If you really, really dig deep and when you start digging deep and you start looking around,

Treveal C.W. Lynch (45:18)
Mm.

Michael Hulsey (45:25)
at what you have opposed to what other people have, ⁓ then it really, does have an impact on you. really, it'll change you. It'll change you. If you work your way up for seven days and you do 10 in the morning, 10 at night, ⁓ when you get to day four, you're gonna be searching. And then it's like the reticular activating system in your mind. You're starting to look for things that you're thankful for.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (45:38)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Michael Hulsey (45:54)
And then it makes a difference, believe me, it does make a difference.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (46:01)
Man. Wow. No, that's that's super powerful, man. You got into a little psychology there, man. That that that you're you're I don't know if you've ever heard that that saying, that quote, that we don't rise to the occasion but we fall to the level of our training. And sometimes people don't understand what that's referring to, but it's referring to the training of the mind. It's it's referring to the training of the nervous system.

Michael Hulsey (46:24)
of

Treveal C.W. Lynch (46:27)
And what you just explained was so powerful. You've been training, and I don't know if you're aware of it. It sounds like you are aware of it, but you're literally training a greater awareness around gratitude. And whatever we train, right? We talked about running and going to the gym. And it's like whatever we train gets stronger, right? Just like a muscle growing. You're you're you're training it, you're putting in your reps, you're going from 10 up to 70.

Michael Hulsey (46:34)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (46:56)
Man, that's powerful, man. And again, you've simplified the process, right? It it's a such a simple process, but yet it's so powerful. And I think for me that's the takeaway because I'm a person who

Sees how certain industries, because I'm a part of them, how they complicate things to keep the carrot dangling in front of you, and you and you never arrive, you never achieve where you want to go because they're always adding on a complexity, right? It's up, you got these three, these three things done. Okay, now you need these three. Okay, you got those three done. Now you now three more. Okay, you got those done.

Michael Hulsey (47:19)
Right.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (47:42)
And what I'm hearing you explain is that there is something that we can do on a very simple level that can prime us to have a very productive day, a productive outlook, a perspective that works for us and not against us. ⁓ there's a lot of meat on that on that bone, man. So I I just want to say thank you for sharing that very practical but powerful practice.

Michael Hulsey (48:04)
You ⁓

Treveal C.W. Lynch (48:11)
And it is a principle, right? The attitude of gratitude. You train your attitude. ⁓ so that's that's that's just amazing, man. Thank you for for sharing that. That's something I mean, I literally just well you you can't see it over here, but in this little cabinet, I've got my journals, and I literally just went to the store yesterday to buy another journal because I I reached the final page of another one. And my daughter, yeah, and my daughter and I we've got this little kind of running joke where

Michael Hulsey (48:14)
Yeah.

You

It's filled up.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (48:41)
When whenever we buy a journal, we'll show each other, like, yep, got another one, got another one, got another. Because we literally write every single page out. But I'm just doing that for various reasons. It's not a a training routine. And maybe I'm benefiting from just getting things out. But what you just shared is something that I certainly wanna I certainly want to put to practice, man. I wanna, I wanna try that out myself and just see how that goes for me and just see how that.

Michael Hulsey (48:41)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm hmm. Okay.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (49:09)
See how that works for me. ⁓ yeah. So that that's

extremely valuable. Yeah, man. Thank you for sharing that. ⁓ we're we're starting to get around that around that time. We want to start wrapping it up, man. Time flies when you're enjoying yourself. I have enjoyed this. And ⁓ man, we might need to make a part two, part three, or something. Cause conversations with Mike or something, man. I don't know. We might have to create something here.

Michael Hulsey (49:17)
Yeah.

It does, Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (49:38)
'Cause I I I really enjoy spending this time with you. I I enjoy your presence, even though it's virtual. ⁓ but as we wrap it up, man, can you can share

Michael Hulsey (49:39)
All right.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (49:51)
I always ask this question of of of every guess. Want you to paint this picture in your mind. You got a microphone. And that microphone is attached to a sound system. And that sound system is a global sound system. Which means anything you say in this mic, no one has a choice.

Michael Hulsey (49:52)
Keep.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (50:21)
Is going to be heard globally. Wherever there is a human being breathing, they're going to hear your words. It's just like a loud speaker that just goes out and just it's in the atmosphere and no one gets to say, I don't want to hear that. No, no, no, no, no chance, no option. You will hear what Mike has to say. If that mic was put in front of you right now and you knew that you had one shot.

Michael Hulsey (50:32)
You

Mm-mm.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (50:50)
To say something that everyone would hear, what would it be?

Michael Hulsey (50:56)
Well, thank you for the opportunity to share it. That's a good one. That would be that's a that's a little bit harder question there because you really want to make an impact. But I think I would say that you are loved. You are enough. You are blessed beyond measure. You do count. You mean something. You're special to someone.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (51:00)
Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (51:25)
all those things is talking to them, talking to their heart, to what they feel that they're not enough. And I just want to say they are enough. You are enough. ⁓ You are loved. There's someone that loves you. There's someone ⁓ that's out there for you. ⁓ You could

I mean, I know there's people that there's children that are ⁓ born and they're left in a trash can, you know, and it's sad to hear that and see that. But there's somebody for them. Somebody does love them. They are enough. are. They're they're more powerful than they can believe because they're alive and they persevered and God is watching out for them and God will connect them.

to that one person that does love them because sometimes we're protected. We think, man, look what happened to me. No, God protected you from what was gonna happen. And it changed your life to something better. Look at my life. For so long, I said, woe is me, I was the victim. I didn't have this, I didn't have that until I made...

Treveal C.W. Lynch (52:30)
Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Michael Hulsey (52:51)
the mental shift and said, you know what? I didn't have it, but I'm gonna give it. I ⁓ didn't have that, I missed that, I wanted that, but I gotta stop whining about it. And I gotta show up and be what I wanted at that time, what I missed, what I missed out on. And that's what I hopefully have instilled in my children, that they had a dad that...

Treveal C.W. Lynch (52:57)
Mm-hmm.

Michael Hulsey (53:20)
that cared, they had a dad that was there for them. And, you know, like I said, my son is 35 years old. My daughter's 33 right now. I have a 22 year old, I have an 18 year old and an eight year old. And they know they can depend on me no matter what, no matter what it is. I'm here for them. They mean the world to me, you know. And that's...

Treveal C.W. Lynch (53:21)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Mm.

Michael Hulsey (53:49)
Basically, if I was talking to someone, they're loved, they're enough, they're worthy. ⁓ Somebody is there that cares about them.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (54:03)
Say it beautifully, man. Say it beautifully. Well, I won't do you like many have done me. Not gonna add to that. What you said is enough. So I just want to thank you, Mike, for the last few minutes that we've spent together. This moment is precious. for me, it has been a blessing, a a ⁓ well-invested.

Michael Hulsey (54:08)
Hmph.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (54:32)
Portion of my life. And I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful for you allowing me to have this conversation. Grateful for you showing up today, not knowing a whole bunch about podcasting, but saying so what? Not knowing what questions I would ask you because I wouldn't give them to you beforehand. And you said, so what?

Michael Hulsey (54:53)
you.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (55:01)
To me, it means that you care so much, man, that you refuse to let all of these little technical things and these little not knowings get in the way. So I I truly thank you and truly honor you and celebrate you as a father, as a man, as a humanitarian.

As God's image and extension. thank you, man. Thank you, thank you so much. My prayer is that this moment is expressed as far and as wide as God would have it to be. I'm gonna do all I can to ensure that it gets as far a reach as possible. And you know how we believe, man, we do our part, God's gonna do the rest. You know.

Michael Hulsey (55:42)
Thank you.

⁓ yes. Yes.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (55:57)
So we're good to go with that, man. So ⁓ yeah, man. I just again wanna thank you and ⁓

Say how much I I I truly value you. Truly value you just a it's just an amazing thing that we can meet someone miles away, hundreds, thousands of miles away, ⁓ and be able to have a moment like this. ⁓ in in closing, if you just wanna take another minute or two, if there's just anything else that you wanna share, ⁓ that you just wanna make sure that you got, you know, said as a part of this episode and

Michael Hulsey (56:10)
but thank you.

Hmm

Treveal C.W. Lynch (56:36)
⁓ and then we'll just we'll just wrap it up from there, man. But just wanna let your voice be the last voice that's heard.

Michael Hulsey (56:41)
Well, thank you. I mean, I'm, you know, of course I was anxious, you know, but I was very excited and I was very thankful that I had the opportunity that you would even consider me and ask me and I appreciate that. I appreciate you and what you're doing and your your impact and people whether they know it or not, you know, they they run across you and they see that but they're going to remember something just like I remembered your your podcast and.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (57:03)
Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (57:11)
And you got great content all the way across multiple things. I wish I lived closer. I'd buy you a cup of coffee or dinner or something, lunch or hang out with me for a minute. I really do appreciate that. And one thing I would say is, I challenge people to do a little gratitude journal and do that for seven days. You'll be thinking of me on day four in the evening.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (57:17)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Michael Hulsey (57:39)
And I encourage you not to repeat the same thing twice. And that's where it's gonna get, it's gonna get difficult, but ⁓ it's freeing. It's freeing. It frees you because then you start digging deep with inside you. And then you realize what is all around you that you've been taken for granted. And you know.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (58:09)
Mm-hmm.

Michael Hulsey (58:09)
This

phone stand, I'm grateful for the phone stand. It's holding my phone up because I'd have to hold it with my hand or lean it against something. ⁓ So I'm grateful for this light and electricity and this chair and this desk. And you can just go on and on and on. then you'll realize that ⁓ after you do it for seven days and you do it every day,

Treveal C.W. Lynch (58:14)
Yeah.

Mm.

Michael Hulsey (58:37)
10 things a day is easy. Once you do it for seven days, then it opens up a whole new world. And you're like, oh wow. It'll change your life. That simplest little thing. And thank you again. I appreciate you. It felt like five minutes. I know it's probably longer. It felt like five minutes. And hopefully I was looking at the camera because there's me and then there's you.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (58:47)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yep. Yeah. Yeah.

Right. Yeah, no, you're fine, yep.

Michael Hulsey (59:07)
some of my head's going around back and forth. But

thank you so much. I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with and looking forward to watching it and see how you ⁓ do your thing. Thank you.

Treveal C.W. Lynch (59:18)
Cool. Awesome.

Thank you.