live the life you want, not the one you're stuck in

Are you living a life you actually like — or just getting through it?

On this episode of the iAMthepossible podcast, we unpack what it means to become a "champion" of your own life: not someone who necessarily "wins" everything, but more importantly, someone who has found something worth standing up for.

We address why so many high-functioning people settle for less than the life they want, how self-abandonment and people-pleasing quietly take over, and why extreme ownership — paired with faith — is the shift that moves you from surviving to actually leading your own life.

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Transcript

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Treveal C.W. Lynch (00:01)
Are you living the life you like? Or are you just simply existing, buying time, hanging out? Or are you even worse, maybe living someone else's life, or at least living the kind of life that is more concerned with anyone and everyone and everything except you?

If that's you today, then today's episode on the I Am the Possible Podcast experience, this live edition, then it's for you. Because today I want to talk about something that I don't think we talk about nearly enough, whether it's on social media, in media in general, at church, even within our homes. Living a life that we actually like. Like actually taking a step back, zooming out.

And really considering is the life that I'm living, the life that I'm leading, is it a life that I actually like? A life that I wake up to and I look forward to waking up to. I think there's something to be said about learning how to live and to lead a life that I actually enjoy. I think far too often we have been.

Trained and conditioned to settle for a lot less than the best that life has for us. Right. I think that sometimes there's so much more that life has for us, but we could we just kind of settle in. We just kind of settle and we allow maybe what's happened in the past or what's happening right now or what we project to happen in the future.

We sometimes allow those things to to dictate and to

really start to lead our lives more than we're leading our lives ourselves. And then, you know, our mind, our brain has a way of coming up with a story, coming up with a narrative that we tell ourselves, that we convince ourselves of. It's like, no, I'm good. I'm okay. It's all right.

But when you really zoom out, when you really pull back, when you quiet yourself and and steal yourself. And I think that's why a lot of people don't like

The quiet, the silence, the stillness. We shy away from it. Because if we can actually get away from the noise, the grind, the hustle, then we're left with that voice that's inside, that's crying out, that's that's trying to be heard, that's trying to be noticed, the voice that's within us, which is the best self, the real self, the true self.

It's like crying out from the depths of our soul, saying, Hey, when are we going to begin to live a life that we actually like? Not just one that gets us through, not just one that we can hang our hat on and say, Well, based upon the norm, based upon the way that life goes, the the way that the folks that I hang out with most, the way

that my that my you know people of influence that are in my life, the people that I look up to, as long as they're okay with my life, as long as they're signing off on my lifestyle, as long as they're saying that I'm doing good, then I'll settle for that. I must be doing good. And I just think that some of us, man, we need messages like the one I'm sharing today that really is crafted to in a way

spur you on, encourage you, inspire you, light a fire under you to give yourself permission to go after the kind of life that like wakes you up. The life where it's hard to sleep because you're looking forward to the next day. Now, I know for some of us, we're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, dude, I just need to pay my bills. I just need to get out of debt.

I just need for my relationship to be fixed. I just need for my child to come home. I just need to get through today. I just need to get out the hospital. Man, I get that. I get that. But today's episode, I don't have the time, nor and no, nor really is this the episode where I'm trying to dig into any specific one pain point other than the general pain point of.

Regardless of what you're going through, regardless of your current situation, regardless of your current circumstance, regardless of the current pain point, the current obstacle, challenge, because those things we can't control. Those things are going to be there. The living paycheck to paycheck, and I'm trying to start a business. Or I've been in ministry forever and I'm still not, I don't know, whatever, right? I I'm I'm I'm still not where I want to be. my relationship.

I'm going through problems with my girlfriend, my boyfriend, my wife, my husband, right? Like the drama and trauma of life, that's a part of life. Like they, like, like like that's going to be there, right? That that's going to be there. This isn't about eliminating problems. This isn't about eliminating challenges. Problems and challenges. That's part for the course. This is about understanding, and this is a new phrase that I'm going to begin to use. If we're going to become

Champions of our own lives. Champions of our own lives. And I'm gonna share why I use that phrase. If we're gonna become champions of our own lives, we're gonna have to be able to say, yo, I get that the drama and the trauma and the problems and the ups and the downs and the difficulties and the complexities, that's a par for course in anyone's life. But becoming a champion of your life, having the intestinal fortitude, having

worked enough within yourself to be able to say that that that I'm going to live this life in such a way that I am I am demanding of life that I that that that I enjoy it that I that I fully engage with it that I'm going to experience everything that I want to experience that I'm going to lay hold of life itself not of material things not of some sort of success

Those things are not bad. They they are what they are. But what I'm talking about is when you lay your head down at night, are you proud of the life that you're creating, the life that you're living? Because, see, this transcends temporary results. This transcends temporary stuff. What I'm talking about today is a life that matters to you.

And the thing about becoming a champion, the the reason that that I'm using and introducing this term champion is because I'm gonna begin to intentionally weave that into my branding and and just my messaging. Because what I've discovered about this word name word champion, it's it's taken from the origin of fighter in the field, a fighter that's in the field. I remember when I was first

when I first got into my relationship with my mindset coach many, many years ago. And I forgot exactly where this all started, but there was there was this idea of like the fighter in the arena, like the arena of life. No one wants to really sit up in the stands. We're all created, designed, and we all desire to be in the fight, to be in the middle of the fight. We want to be in the action.

No one really wants to sit up in the stands. We want to be down in the fight. We want to be a champion. But by definition, a champion is not one that avoids the hits, one that never gets knocked down. A champion is not one that that doesn't go through anything. In fact, get this a champion is not even one that necessarily wins the fight. A champion is not one that actually gains the prize necessarily.

Here's what a champion really is by word origin and definition. And this is why I wanted to have this conversation, this episode, exposure to this, introduce this idea to you today, because I don't think enough of us are championing our lives. We're not being champions of our lives. We're standing on the sideline of life. We're sideliners. We're watching the parade go by. We're watching the fight happen. And

If we really tapped into the deepest parts of ourselves, we want to be in the fight. We want to be a champion. Because here is the definition of a champion. Here is the definition of living a life that you like, a life that matters, a life that you love, a life that you look forward to waking up to every day. You ready? Here it is. A champion is one that has found something worth fighting for.

Someone that has found something worth standing up for. And even if you go down, you went down standing up for something. You went down standing up for something. And if you're not standing up for something, and you're not willing to go down standing up for something, then I know that there's a part of you.

That's like, yeah, I'm just hanging out. I'm just freaking hanging out. You may not give it those exact words. Sometimes it's just something that you feel. Sometimes it's just something that you feel. You, you, you, you haven't, you haven't been able to articulate it. You haven't been able to give it words. It's just what you feel. I'm just buying time. I'm just hanging out. I'm I'm average, ordinary.

Normal. I have subscribed to the normal. I I am settling for subpar, not results, not not attainments and achievements. No, no, no. Subpar experiences. I'm just waking up and I'm going through what they call it the hamster wheel of life. Just hamster wheeling it, man. Just hamster wheeling it. This is not.

An indictment on you. I'm not I'm not fussing and cussing at you. I'm passionate about this because of what I've gone through, where I've come from, the stories I have, the stories I used to tell myself. I have held myself back for so many years of doing the things that I wanted to do. To give myself permission to.

Feel the way I wanted to feel. I suppressed so many feelings. I avoided so many conflicts and confrontations. I avoided so many moments in my life, playing it safe. Yes, because of the trauma, because of the drama that I experienced as a child. And it trained me, it conditioned me, as it does so many of us, to play it safe.

If this person isn't happy with me, if that person isn't happy with me, if I'm not looking out for everybody else's needs and wants and opinions and desires, I I have to put my stuff on the back shelf. I have to, I have to self-suppress. I have to self-abandon. I have to self-neglect. I have to self-deny. Because obviously everyone else's agenda is more important. Everyone else's needs are more important.

This was my story, man. In ministry, in life, in every area of my life, to some degree, man, I played small. I shrunk back. I held back. I silenced myself. I locked myself down. I locked myself back. And I know some of you guys might be watching this and be thinking, what is he talking about? He's a pastor, he's the father, he's the leader, he's a mentor, he's a podcaster, he didn't write books, he preached. I seen him talk at different events, he's doing his thing.

Yeah, those are things that I've been doing. But here's the thing about doing the things that other people are watching. That doesn't necessarily mean that you're doing the thing that matters most.

I'm gonna let that sit, man. Just cause you're doing a lot of stuff don't mean you're doing what matters. It doesn't mean you're the fighter in the field, man. It doesn't mean that you're a champion of your own life. It doesn't mean that you're doing what actually matters. It means you're doing a lot of stuff. And I'm not saying that those things that I was doing was wrong. I still do them. I still write. I still podcast.

I still preach, I still teach, I still talk at events, I still coach, I still do all the things. But now, finally, man, finally, I'm starting to do it the way that I want to do it. I'm finally doing it the way that matters to me. And this is not about selfishness. My people of faith hear me and hear me good. I know we can get on, you know, life is not about what we want.

And we're supposed to sacrifice everything, and we're supposed to carry our cross and fall on our sword and give of ourselves and you know not really care too much about ourselves. Everything is for everyone else. I get it. I agree to a degree, but there is something to be said about living a life with a full cup. So that when you do pour out, you're pouring out.

From reserve. You're pouring out from having an abundance of just life flow. Not abundance of stuff. Again, stuff is not bad. I just want you to be clear about what I'm saying. I'm not against stuff. I'm not anti-stuff. Have the biggest house you want. Drive the fastest, fanciest car that you want. Do do do life as whatever, like do you, man. What I'm talking about though is the laying down of one's head at night.

And feeling good about the life that we're living. I'm talking about getting up in the morning and welcoming every day, feeling good about the life that you're leading. Hopefully you're leading, rather than life leading you and dragging you around and tossing you around like a ragdow, right? But this is about choosing yourself for once.

This is about choosing, and this is about prioritizing the things that matter to you. And if today's message is for you, you already know what it is. You've already been playing with it. You've already been suppressing it. You've already been acting like it don't matter, like it's not there, but it keeps coming up, it keeps itching at you, it keeps poking at you. Every time you get out the noise, you you pull back from the grind for half a second, something on the inside of you is like, yeah, buddy.

You just hanging out, man. You just hanging out. You're not living your best life, as we say. You you're not you're not authentic with it as we say. Like whatever whatever words you use to describe it, and for some of you, you haven't been a like you haven't like like actually like let me slow down. You you actually haven't used words. It's just an internal gut feeling. Guys, becoming a champion.

Of our lives. That's what I wanted to introduce to you today. How do you become a champion of your life? Listen, I put a link in the description of this video. If you're on YouTube, if you're on Facebook, wherever you are, later on I'm gonna convert this into today's podcast episode and push it out to all of my podcast platforms. but listen, wherever you're watching, wherever you're listening, however you're tuning in, tapping in, there's a link in in this

Shows description. Go ahead and click that link. I created a self-assessment. It's a number of questions. I'll provide some other information and some other links and some other goodies in there as well. But primarily, it's about asking questions, quality questions of yourself. It's a it's a self-assessment, won't take you very long, but it introduces you to some information that maybe you've never been privy to. There's some language that maybe you've never that you've never learned, right?

And one thing that I one thing that I've learned is that we can only live a life that is of the level of our language. Some of us we've been going through so much in life. Life has been so hard. And it's a lot of it is because we find ourselves stuck and not being able to move forward because we don't have the language in which to improve our lives with.

If you look like me, I'ma just be honest, like this brown skin, like your skin look like mine. You come from the hoods I've come from. For a lot of us, not all of us, but for a lot of us, we've never been given the language. We've never been given the language. We don't have we don't have the internal dictionary. We don't have the language. We don't have the internal tools.

To navigate the challenges and the trauma that we have endured and are currently enduring. And so we settle for less of a life that we're worthy of living. We settle for less than a life that we desire to live. We settle for less than a life that God has made possible for us to live. And I just have it in my heart, my passion, man, my my.

My thing, man, my my my purpose, man, is to pass on what I've I've learned. To show up, serve, and support your success through sharing with you what I've learned. That's the best I can do, man. I've been through a lot, I can share that. I've learned a lot, I can share that. For whoever wants it, for whoever wants to use it, because that's been the pattern of my life.

People have come along at different ages and stages, and they've offered to me what they had, and I chose to do something with it. That's all it was. I am here today because of the information that I have been exposed to, and I chose to act on it. And if this is hitting home for you, if this showed up in your feed or

However, it got to you. Do something with what I'm sharing. Do something with what I'm sharing. If this is for you, do something with what I'm sharing. We're really no different. There's no magic trick. There's no secret sauce. It's just folks that get information and take action on this information. And then we get better over time. Little increments better over time. But that's it, man. Excuse me. That's it. Click the link in this description.

Take the assessment, learn some new language so you can learn to live a new life. A life that you actually like. That word like is don't don't don't don't sleep on the word like. You know how you like your favorite whatever? I like this kind of coffee or I like this kind of meal or I like this kind of movie. I like this kind of. Don't sleep on that. Because the things that you like, huh?

You engage in the things that you like, you spend a lot of time with. You spend money on. You invest yourself in. Yeah. Why not do the same thing for your own life? Become a champion of your life. Learn to like it. And the only way that you learn to like your life is by starting to do things that matter to you. Giving yourself permission to do what matters to you. You've been doing what matters to everyone else.

I know you have. I know you have. You've been bending so others don't break. You've been showing up for everybody else. You've been saying yes when in your heart you wanted to say no. I know. I get it. I get it. But you don't have to. You've been choosing to, just like I was choosing to. No one's making us do anything. No one's forcing us to do anything.

Let's do or let's practice what they call extreme ownership. It just means saying I'm not going to blame and point fingers at anybody else. People are living their lives, doing their thing. They're not out to get me. They're not harming me. They're not the, they're not the reason. They're not the cause ultimately. Not that people don't hurt you or offend you, but ultimately they're not holding you back, holding you back. You're not stuck because of them. Take extreme ownership, which says I'm going to self-inpost.

Power by saying my life is a reflection of what I have resolved to do or not to do. That's the driver's seat. And then you can submit that under the Lordship, the Godship, the under the divine ship of God, and say, okay, God.

What have you blessed me with? What have you given me? What are those visions? Remind me of those gifts. Remind me of those visions. Remind me of the ministry. Remind me of the stuff that that you've called me to do. And I'm no longer going to continue to put me and my life on hold or on the back burner because I'm becoming a champion of my own life. I'm becoming a fighter in the field. I'm getting in the middle of that arena.

I'm coming off the sideline. I'm coming out of the stands. And I'm participating in life. The way I've always desired to. Take the assessment. Click the link in this description. Take that assessment. Download it. Get it. Ask yourself these most important questions. Begin to face it, man. Like a champion does. I encourage you, do that for yourself. You've been showing up for everybody else. Time to show up for you.

It's time to show up for you. That's it. Had to make this a short one. I love you guys. I'm praying for you guys. I'm believing in you guys. Let's become champions, man. Champions in and champions of our own lives.