How Being a Mom Has Made Me a Better Creative Entrepreneur

This week, I'm going to be talking about the struggle and journey of  being a mom and a creative business owner and how being a mama has made me better in both of these roles! Stay tuned!

Transcript

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Welcome to design speaks the podcast that empowers you to stay inspired, be creative on demand and find your visual voice. I'm your host, Brandy C. Today. I wanted to talk a little bit about my personal journey. Struggle with being a mom and creative business owner. Stay tuned for that. Coming up later in the show. hello lovelies. Today. I wanted to talk a bit about the journey of being a mom. And creative business owner. If you didn't know, I am a mom of two kiddos and this whole thing of being a mom has been a huge, huge part of how I even ended up here. So I really want to tell you all about how that went and the things that that a lot of moms like me struggle with. So, but before I do that, I wanted to share some of my uncommon inspiration. So probably early in. September. I was invited to be, to take part in a role-playing game. You may have heard of it called Dungeons and dragons. Now I have to be honest, when I was first invited, I was kind of like, you know what? I do not have time for this because everybody that I've ever known. That's played this game generally spends at minimum, like two to four hours, but sometimes like up to eight hours on a game. And speaking of being a mom, like, I don't know any parents who have time to basically play a board game for an entire day. And so when I was invited, I was bit like, you know, to my husband. I don't think we have, I don't think we have time for this. When he clarified that it was only going to be once a week and it was going to be the same two hours every evening. After we put our kids to bed, I was like, okay, if we're playing this over the, like over virtual game stuff, and it's only going to be a couple of hours, I think we could probably sing that. It sounds like fun. The other couples that we're playing with are one of them has kids and the other one are adults and they have like normal jobs. And so. It was important to them also to not have the game go on forever. So decided to give it a try and something that I really was surprised by was one I've really grown to like it. I do enjoy it, but there's a ton of things that I actually have learned from it that has been really inspiring to me. So I wanted to just share those things with you. One of them is. It's getting me out of my comfort zone while I'm super comfortable in front of a camera for recording for these episodes or making reels or lives on Instagram. Anything like that? Tick talks are totally fine, but it's kind of like being an actor. And that really takes me out of my comfort zone. Having to basically understand how to get inside the mind of a character or persona who is not me in this case. My character that I created is a high elf sorcerer of noble blood. I know crazy, so silly, but kind of amazing. I've always wanted to be an alpha and this is my chance, but how Dungeons and dragons works is that you can't just play. Like you have to try to embody the character, which is. Interesting lesson to think about, especially in the realm of design, because we're constantly trying to think about the person we're designing for the person that we are appealing to our dream clients, our client's dream clients, all of those things require that you get inside the head of another person. And so that was really, really inspiring to me on a different approach to being able to do that. Also embracing how to tackle a goal collectively as a team. When each person has vastly different strengths and skills, almost every single person in our, what you call a party is what I have learned are completely different, like races. So we have like humans and ELFS and. All sorts of things that I can't even remember at the moment, but it's been a lot of fun to see what kinds of things I can learn from it. And what I will continue to learn is really exciting for me. So that's been my very, very uncommon inspiration for this week. And I guess we'll see how this whole Dungeons and dragons journey goes. In addition to my uncommon inspiration. I wanted to share my song with you for this week. The song that I have been loving lately is called sweater. Weather by a band called the neighborhood. While I'm recording this, it is smack dab in the middle of fall and fall is my absolute favorite. See. I'm actually currently wearing a sweater for those of you who can't see me watching on YouTube. All right. So here's the song and I'll come back and tell you why it's inspiring to me and just feminine. But I sent him my toes in the sand. He was asleep. I'm going to point out some of the lyrics that really inspire me. So one of them says let's have an adventure head in the clouds, but my gravity is centered. I've always really been drawn to this idea of being able to do the two things that Gary V talks about a lot with. Feed in the dirt and head in the clouds. It's like clouds and dirt. It's the dreams, but also understanding how important it is to do the work. So that really stuck out to me then part of the chorus. Because it's too cold for you here and now. So let me hold both your hands in the holes of my sweater. It's just sorta romantic. Like, let me keep you warm. It's very, very sweet. And the last line is sometimes the silence guides a mind to move to a place so far away. And that was really a good reminder to me too. Enjoy the silence, which is sometimes really difficult for me to do. I'm I'm constantly wanting input, whether it's podcasts or, you know, listening to a TV show while I work or always having music on there's such value in. Hearing nothing that the silence can be a great guide for our minds to move to places that it might not otherwise go. It's the reason that you think of things while you're in the shower and have sort of Epiphanes when you are away from technology. So a lot of things to be inspired by in this song. I hope you enjoy. You can find this song and all of the songs that I play here on design speaks podcast over on Spotify. I have a playlist called music from design speaks podcast. I hope you guys like this song and enjoy the sweater weather. All right. So let's talk about being. Mom preneur, right. Which is a very popular hashtag it's the whole mom boss movement. But something that I realized recently is even though I am a mom, I do not talk about this thing that I am right enough. So, like I said before, I have two. While I'm recording this podcast, the air currently eight, my son Cayden is eight and my daughter, Jasmine is 13. They have been a really. Interesting part of my journey. And I know that there are a lot of other creative mompreneurs mom, business owners, and also moms who just do creative work and they don't really feel like they're understood. They can sometimes be marginalized. You know, we are often as moms marginalized in our choices, whether we. Decide by choice or by necessity to put our kids into daycare or school when they're young, so that we can pursue our careers, whether we decide to stay home, because we are able to, we are financially supported by a partner and we choose to do that or any, any other of a number of things that could be on that spectrum of what we choose to do for fulfillment. In addition to being a mom is sometimes a really. Polarizing thing and something that it's hard for people to understand. So I wanted to talk a little bit about that. My daughter, Jasmine is really entrepreneurial. She has been designing fashions and makes jewelry since she was like seven years old and is always looking for a way to sell her things and to make money off of her creations, which I don't know where she gets that at all. And Kayden really loves to draw, but he also. Loves math and science and has wanted to be an astronaut since he knew what an astronaut even was, which is probably about age two. They, they make me a better human. They make me a better creative and, you know, right. Cue the sappy music. But I wanted to talk a little bit about how they make me a better creative and the impact that being a mom has had on me being a business. So to start, I've never really loved the idea personally, of having my number one box quote, unquote, be mom. I value being a mom. I absolutely adore my mother. She's hardworking. She's creative. She's athletic. She's brilliant and strong, but I've, I grew up around a lot of homeschool moms. My mom went not withstanding like her. She was, she was a different one, but a lot of the other moms that I grew up around that was their thing. Like they were just a mom quote unquote. Right. I keep saying that a lot, but in my mind, They raised their kids and that was their whole world, their whole life. And I, for a long time, didn't want kids because I didn't want that to be me. I didn't want to have to have children define who I was if you've been following me for any amount of time. When I say I don't, I didn't want that to be my number one box. I mean box is the things that people think about you or how they categorize what you do. I subscribe to the idea that we should create our own box. We should never leave people wondering what we stand for, because when we do that, they will put us in boxes that we do not want to be in. When we are able to define what that box is for ourselves, then we can tell people, this is what I stand for. This is what's important to me. And this is the box. What. I am, this is the box I want to fit in. And so in the context of my professional life, I've really always wanted to be seen as a creative professional first as someone who has skills and abilities that bring value to the world in some way. And I've often struggled with how people, society, family members sometimes. Perceive women who have kids, whether they work at home or work outside the home, like I said before, so I guess I felt like on some level, I figured that I wouldn't focus. My attention on making, being a mom, a part of my box, a part of my story, not even taking into consideration that how that would look once I did become a mom. So that's what I'm here to talk about today. I didn't want to be that mom who constantly talks about her kids, but in that I think it's valuable to share. Kids can add such an incredible layer to your life. And for me, I honestly, with every ounce of my being know that I would not even be sitting here talking to you right now on this podcast, talking to you on this YouTube channel, if it wasn't for becoming a mom. So let me back up. I graduated college in 2007. Eight months pregnant with my daughter fully anticipated my husband at the time being the one to stay home and take care of our daughter. And I was going to go be the breadwinner. And that was always what I wanted. I was going to be the career woman. As soon as she was born, all of a sudden, I just wanted to stay home with her, the dreams that I had for my, my creative work I wanted at that point, like my biggest dream was to be an art and creative director. And that was still there. But once I saw this little human, I thought, my gosh, how can I leave her to, you know, anyone else, even her dad, it was just one of those things that I wanted. Be with her, a bunch of life stuff happened that I will not go into here, but I ended up needing to be the one to work. And my husband was staying home with her. And when after about three and a half ish years, four years of working in the creative field as a creative and art director and doing other things, realizing that I wanted to stay home with her more. Was a big eyeopener for me when I was pregnant with my son. And after I had him, I had quit working and kind of came to this place where I realized that I really do want to stay home with my kids, but how do I, how do I do that? And still pursue my, my creative passions. And that was where I realized that the only way to do that was to become a business owner. And so quite literally, the only reason I really started my business, full-time the way I am potentially essentially, essentially doing it now is because I had a desire to be able to stay home and raise my kids and also build. And build up my kids. And so that was like really eye-opening to look back and think about the fact that I wouldn't even have this business the way it is today. If I hadn't made that choice to stay home with my kids. And so from 2008, when I had my daughter and kind of really realized that having a child changes your mindset to 2013, when I was thinking. I can still do this. I don't have to be employed by somebody and take my kids to daycare in order to achieve my creative dreams. Another thing is that they really make me want to be better. They in changing my mindset, I now realize that like, they look up to me that I am a living breathing example of the kind of person that I want. Them to see is, you know, good and what a mom can look like that you can be a successful creative business owner as a woman and be an attentive and amazing mom. I've been so inspired by them and the things that they love. And a lot of my uncommon inspiration, many times has come from going to the library with them and finding books, taking them to the zoo, going on trips where. I am, whether it's by choice or by force, you know, needing to see things from their perspective, trying to. Literally getting down at their level. Sometimes when they're looking at something or trying to show them something is a good exercise and changing perspective. So that's like another really amazing thing that I have found has contributed a lot to my journey and being able to see the world through somebody else's eyes much like the whole D and D thing. I also think that part of this journey has been. Recognizing the hardship of reconciling the picture of what being a mom. Has to look like what I think it has to look like and what it actually can look like. And that I have control over that what my life looks like as a mom, doesn't have to look like my mom's life did, or like my friend who is also a mom and business owner, or, you know, my cousin or people I see on the internet. None of that has to be me. And so seeing that I can use my strengths to. Build up my business and build up my kids as their mom is really incredible. You know, I'm not the kind of mom that wears sweats and leggings all day, or basically ever unless I'm exercising. But that doesn't mean that a mom that is building a business doing that is bad or doing something wrong that we all are on our own journey. And that my journey looks. Showing my kids that you can treat a home business like a real business, because it is you get up every day, you shower, you put on makeup, you put on tennis shoes, even if you are not going to leave the house. And that practice is really something that I'm not sure that I would have been super motivated to do, except that I want to show my kids. What it means to be a professional, whether you are going into work every day at an office or staying at home, the give and take is really hard. That's something else that has been a part of my journey is that I have to acknowledge that there's never really going to be a true balance. The idea that there should be, or is. This fictional dream called work-life balance is something that I discovered probably not soon enough, but has been a game changer in how I operate my entire creative professional business and my home life. It's the idea that. You really can't give 50, 50. I'm not 50% of creative business owner and 50%. Oh, Y a mom and wife. I am 100% all of it all of the time. And so when I am working on my business, I'm working on my business 100% for that time period. When I am homeschooling my kids or spending time with my kids or cooking or cleaning or doing any number of mom related activities, I am 100% momming in those moments. And. That was very much a realization that I don't think that I would have come to as easily if I didn't have kids. I think it would have been a much bigger challenge to understand that there's no way that any human can split themselves 50 50 to anything. You give 100% of yourself to what you are doing in that moment. And that is how you really find fulfillment. The ability to do that and understand that as humans. We are always 100% us in whatever thing that we're doing. And the last thing that has really impacted my journey as a mom and business owner, by being a mom is to really take advantage of. All of the moments I call them the spare moments, whether that is, you know, when your kids are super young and you are just pulling your hair out because you're not sleeping because they're not sleeping or they're throwing temper tantrums or they're ignoring you and being disrespectful, whatever the case may be. Sometimes you just have to take the little minutes to do something for your business. So for me, early on. I've constantly had to drop off my kids and pick them up from school. I've never been a hundred percent of homeschool moms. So when I was dropping them off at school on the days that they would go, I would take the opportunity to use the time while I was waiting in the pickup line to write a blog post or type up some ideas that I have for this podcast or. Put together a Instagram post. Now I sometimes do that for reels or do a little bit of research on someone I'm going to have on the show. Any number of things to feel like you are still investing a little bit in your business, even on the days where maybe it's a full 100% mom day, and you really don't have time to set aside to work on your business, which often happens. It's. And it will make you feel really good. And I know that it makes me feel good to know that I like just did something to contribute to the growth of my business. And so remembering that time is precious. So when you're, when I'm with my family, I'm with my family, but when I have those spare moments to spend understanding that using those is okay, but also understanding that taking time to rest is super valuable because. Nobody in my humble, experienced opinion, nobody has as much on their plate as a mom or dad who is trying to run a business and raise their kids and be a good influence on them and be a good husband or wife. Good partner to your spouse is, is really hard. And so. Going easy on yourself and understanding that this is not a sprint as a business owner. Oftentimes we're not going to see results from the work that we do right away. And. I think that the, the other, I guess the really last thing for me is remembering to look at other people's journeys, especially in the world that we live in and looking online at other people that are seemingly achieving a lot more than me and taking a step back and going, you know what? Those people are either single and, or they just don't have kids. And more often than not. The fact that they don't have kids just gives them a lot more time and a lot more opportunity to be able to invest in their business much more than we all generally can. And so having that understanding and remembering that comparing yourself to someone who is on a completely different journey than us is, is really kind of a sanity saver for me, especially, and I hope it is for you. So I hope this was helpful, and I know that there are so many other. And there's so many mamas out there and daddy's out there building businesses and working at jobs, you know, that they are so passionate about and doing that on your own in your home and, and doing that together does not mean that you love your kids less. If you are super passionate and very invested in your work, as long as you're a member to make sure to set aside some time. For also investing in your, your family and your kids. So if you ever want to see lots more of my family and see me and my like personal side with my kids outside of business, I share my everyday adventures on my Instagram account at me. Brandy. See? And so. All, and I hope it was encouraging for you to hear a little bit about my journey and all of the amazing things that I have because of being a mom and being a business. All right, lovelies. So that is our episode for today. Please be sure to leave me a review over on iTunes, and you can always send a note to Instagram. At design speaks podcast. You can find show notes and past episodes at design speaks, podcast.com as well as lots more. And downloads and blog posts and all sorts of things@mywebsitefornbc.com. Design speaks is produced by Kenneth Kniffin and Dakota cook. Shout out to Colin from Vesper team for our incredible theme music design speaks podcast is a project of Brandy C design co, and is recorded in the shadow of the watermelon. Sandia mountains near Albuquerque, New Mexico. I'm Brandy C reminding you that you can take control of your creativity. Thanks for listening.