Establishing Influence at Work with Kristen Zavo

Questions we discuss:

• What should you ask yourself?
• What do you need to invest in?
• What are the fears of success?
• Are you stuck in the shoulds?
• How do you maximize your influence?
• Where do you want to be in your work and life?

Kristen Zavo is a career coach, keynote speaker, and author of the international best-seller Job Joy: Your Guide to Success, Meaning, and Happiness in Your Career. In her coaching practice, she works to help high-achieving professionals land jobs, launch businesses, and build careers they love. 

 After nearly two decades working in top Fortune 500 companies, Kristen found herself having checked all the career boxes but feeling the unhappiest she had ever felt. 

 She bravely quit her finance job in New York City and within six months she landed a job and promotion in an entirely new sector. Colleagues and professionals in her network took note and began turning to her for help to do the same.   

 What began as a career coaching side hustle turned into her most fulfilling pivot to help thousands secure fulfilling jobs. Currently, Kristen helps corporate-climbing professional clients define success on their own terms, land their dream job, and build a career they love through her 9-month live coaching and mentorship program Find Your Job Joy.

 She is also recognized as a thought leader in her industry having been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Business Insider, Yahoo News, Real Simple, and CBS News, among others.   

 Beyond bringing clients job joy, Kristen loves to create her own joy which frees her up to travel, take on adrenaline-pumping adventures like skydiving (bungee jumping is next!), and trying new recipes.

I think you will enjoy this as much as I did recording it!

Thank you for joining me ~ here are some other resources for you!

JJ's new book Seeking: https://www.amazon.com/Seeking-Findings-Energy-Sidestep-Self-Doubts/dp/B0BKQCWJ62

Join me live in my energy community: https://www.togetherweseek.online/

Visit my website for retreats and free resources: https://jjdigeronimo.com/

My energy podcast Together We Seek: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1923001

Transcript

JJ Kristen

[00:00:00] JJ DiGeronimo: Hello. It's JJ DiGeronimo and I am thrilled to be here with another episode of Career Strategies for Women that work. And today I have a fantastic guest. She's one of us. She's been in male dominated careers, and she's achieved great career success, but she didn't find the joy and she felt like she might have been missing a little something.

[00:00:21] She has gone on to create an amazing. Business and impact with so many professionals and high achievers who too felt stuck and are now aligned to jobs that bring them joy. She's the author of Job Joy, Your Guide to Success, Meaning and Happiness in Your Career. Kristin Zavo thank you so much for joining us.

[00:00:41] Kristen Zavo: JJ, thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited for this conversation.

[00:00:46] JJ DiGeronimo: Oh, me too. Because I often talk about influence and impact because it doesn't really matter what role you work in. Many women at many events and many conferences that I tend often want more influence and impact than they have today. So before we jump into a little bit about more about your work, let's level set, what does influence mean to you specifically for women at work.

[00:01:08] Kristen Zavo: Yeah, So absolutely when I think of influence, I think about someone's ability to motivate, to inspire, , others, no matter their title or no matter their direct. Words, but it's really, you know, what is the ripple effect that one person can have and to your point earlier and the impact, the positive impact they can have.

[00:01:28] JJ Digeronimo: And I know just having different careers, and different titles, It's not always easy to create impact, especially when you might be the only woman at the table or you're in a new job, and so influence could be a little tricky at times. So, you know, how would someone go about really tactically establishing ways to create influence at work,

[00:01:54] Kristen Zavo: Yeah, I've got a lot to say on this. So this would be the time to take notes if anyone, is really into this topic. But first off, before, taking any action is to really get clarity on. Who am I? What is the type of, person I wanna be at work? What is the type of influence I wanna have?

[00:02:13] And why? Why is just as important, if not more than the what we wanna connect with our personal why. There might be a personal perspective here, as well as the why for the company and the growth and the impact. And so once we come from that place of clarity, Then we can take the steps, the more outward, tangible steps of number one, really getting a good understanding of the culture, of the politics, of the environment, of let's be real, the game, the corporate game at your company, right?

[00:02:41] That would be number one. Number two is to really invest in relationships. So mentors, advocates, partners, right? That will really help you move your agenda forward. And then also it's the mindset and it's the spirit of partnership, right? Versus you telling someone what to do. It's the spirit of collaboration.

[00:03:00] It's. The spirit of win-win. It's the spirit of bringing people in as you're working on whatever this new project is, so they feel like they're a part of it as well. It's not just the old paradigm of the person with the most powered influences, the person at the top who can tell people what to do and threaten them, you know, with losing their job.

[00:03:18] Right? This is completely different, not only for where we're headed in terms of leadership, but for, you know, the way most women, certainly the ones I work with, Wanna show up and wanna lead and wanna impact, which is not from a place of brute force, but from a place of inspiring others. So those are some key things that you wanna keep in mind.

[00:03:35] JJ DiGeronimo: Those are all super great. You know, why do you want it? What relationships do you have to invest in? And then the partnership mindset, and I think so many women are intimidated sometimes to step forward, or as we talked about it in a previous episode, they have. Essentially soft self-talk that prevents them from stepping in or stepping up.

[00:03:59] And so do you feel like this is instrumental for women to really get a handle on, especially if they have desires to have more impact?

[00:04:08] Kristen Zavo: Ah, absolutely. And the self-talk is a great place to start. And, you know, we, before we press record, you had asked me do I work with energy? And I am a very holistic coach, even though I am an executive coach but we do a lot of inner work and so, Hearing that voice in your head, Oh, don't say that.

[00:04:27] Or, That was stupid, or You better not speak up, or they have a better idea, or, This has already been done before. Right? That inner critic, that can be a great window into seeing what , our old stories are and our old woundings and things that are really holding us back because. You know that self-talk is there for a reason.

[00:04:44] It's there to protect you, right? And protect is in quotes. If we were doing this in vid on video, right? I would be putting those air quotes up because it was developed to keep you safe. And now where you're at in your career, where you're at as a professional right now, it's holding you back. And so we get to look at that and say, Look underneath it, what is it?

[00:05:02] Protecting me? Right. Is it protecting me from being rejected? Is it protecting me from getting too successful? Right? A lot of women I work with, you know, they really want the success and they want the influence, and they want the impact. But there are negatives to it or fears, right? Oh my goodness, what if I'm more successful than my partner

[00:05:20] Or what if I get successful then I can't handle it and I can't live up to it, right? What if, , I get, , too big for my britches, more, more air? There. Right? And so we get to look at what are these fears and then where are they actually coming from? Right? Is it even our own voice? Is it coming from, , likely many of these things are rooted in childhood, right?

[00:05:41] That one time you were called out in class and you were totally mortified and you said, I'm never gonna speak up again until I've had 10 hours to prepare. And I know exactly what I'm gonna say and it's perfectly scripted out, right? So to your point, taking the negative self-talk are the things that are holding us back.

[00:05:56] As an invitation to do some inner work and some healing so that when we do go out in the world and take action, it's from a whole place, Not from, you know, quite frankly, a scared little girl place.

[00:06:07] JJ DiGeronimo: Hmm. I love this because I'm getting ready to release my third book and Thank you. And Seeking is the title, and it really is about raising our energy, sidestepping ourself, doubt, and aligning with our life's work. And so much of it is about digging through those stories. I have chapters on your relationship with money and chapters with your relationship with your mother, and how many panels have you sat on.

[00:06:32] A woman would say, , I'm sitting here today because of my father. So it's like all of these relationships that define how we feel about ourselves and then what action we take because of it.

[00:06:44] Kristen Zavo: Absolutely. It makes such a difference and really, Putting our sights on it and making it, go from unconscious to conscious is, it's the first step. We're just shining a light on it, right? Why do we do what we do, right? What is really fueling our behavior and we're not making ourselves wrong for it.

[00:07:01] we're looking at it with compassion, seeing how it did serve a purpose in the past, how it did protect us and keep us safe and now. Now that we're ready, right? If you're listening to this podcast, you're ready right?  you're hearing this message for a reason. Now. You have the tools, you have the emotional maturity, you have the experience to look at it directly, and let go of , the habits and the thoughts and the actions that are no longer serving you so that you can step into the woman in the professional that you wanna be.

[00:07:28] JJ DiGeronimo: I love that and it's really, really contains the information of why it's so important, that women. Get coaches at really big intersections in their career or their desire to have that intersection because so many of us try to do it alone. And I always, you know, when I'm speaking at different events, I often come to a section in many of my talks where I talk about career catalyst.

[00:07:54] Like, what career catalyst do you have right now? And which ones do you need for where you wanna have impact and influence next? And when I ask about how many of you have hired a career coach? Daunting how few women have actually done that. And I feel like I'm a huge advocate for coaches because I've hired so many in my career because I've needed somebody that I could sort through the stories, sort through the desires, and sort through the corporate or team dynamics.

[00:08:24] Kristen Zavo: Yes. It's, it's so important because when we're in the middle of it, it can be harder to see. I was on a client call this morning and she's like, Kristen, you know, we were, she was talking about, you know, she's taken on a lot more responsibility and she's like, Kristen, I don't know if I should have the conversation that I should make more money because of these responsibilities, or if I should say, No, this isn't, Part of the job and I said to her, Do you like these responsibilities?

[00:08:46] Do you wanna do them knowing full well that the last job, she left was to get out of these? And she's like, No. And I said, Well, would more money make this, make it more doable, make you enjoy it more? And she's like, No. And I said, Well, you know your answer. And she's like, Well, when you say it, it's so clear.

[00:09:01] And it's like, I'm just asking the questions. And then she said to me, You know, I just coached someone, a friend on this earlier today. Why can't I see it for myself? And it's because we need. Someone outside of us, right, to put up the mirror. And it can bring so much clarity when things are hard to see when they're personal and when we're stuck in the shoulds.

[00:09:19] Right? She was very stuck in the should a good, good person. A good worker would take on more responsibility, would help the team, you know? And I said to her, You're not helping the team if it's taking away your energy, if you don't wanna be doing. If it's putting you in a bad mood, right? That's not helping the team

[00:09:36] And yet as women we're so used to taking on so much and doing it like a martyr and not complaining until we break, right? And so all of this to say, when you work with a coach, it helps you take your blinders off and it helps you get where you wanna go with more speed and more ease. and quite honestly, with more self-compassion, the women I work with are so hard on themselves.

[00:09:59] JJ DiGeronimo: Mm-hmm. . I can relate. I can relate for sure. And I feel like now the work environment is different and even though it gives women more flexibility, I feel like it's a little bit harder to establish the influence at work that we're talking about.

[00:10:17] Kristen Zavo: Mm-hmm.

[00:10:19] JJ DiGeronimo: So are women having to do things differently? I mean, if we're only showing up on Zoom calls, or maybe we're going into the office one day a week, how do you enhance or maximize your influence in situations where you don't really see people that often and everything is online or through emails?

[00:10:34] Kristen Zavo: Yeah, well, I think. A lot of it is related to the culture and, , the environment at your company. So there are some industries, there are some rules, and there are some companies where it is vital to your success to show up in person. and understanding if you are in one of those roles, in one of those companies, in one of those industries, there are also plenty of jobs where it's not necessary, where everybody's remote, so no one has a leg up on the other.

[00:11:02] Right? And so first off, really understanding. What culture or environment am I in, number one and number two, if I'm in an environment that is perhaps pushing me out of my comfort zone or having me do things that I would rather not do, am I okay? Stepping up, am I okay with doing what I need to do for the greater good?

[00:11:25] Or perhaps this industry, perhaps this company, the culture is not a fit. So I'm not about pushing anyone to do something that completely goes against who they are as a person, right? We're not gonna take the hardcore introvert and tell them to go into the office every day and make small talk, right? We want to play to our strengths and play to our personality, but really being honest with yourself.

[00:11:46] About, is it part of the job? Is it necessary to move forward?  I can tell you when I was in consulting, FaceTime was huge. Even when you weren't on a job, they wanted you to be in the office even when you had no work to do  which to me, from a efficiency point of view it was crazy that I would take a 90 minute train ride into New York City to sit in the office and do nothing.

[00:12:06] Right but. For that job, for that company, it was the FaceTime was crucial if you wanted to get on that next project. Right? And so I had to decide, you know, I had to first be honest with myself, is this just part of the job? And in this case, the answer was yes. Is this specific to this company or the industry?

[00:12:24] And it was, A general industry thing, and then am I okay, with what I need to do? And if the answer is yes, right, then I do it. I'm aware of it, I know what I'm doing. It's for the greater good. And if not, I get to look at, you know, what are other options that play to my strengths , and my desires.

[00:12:42] You know, I I didn't ask you the demographics of this, podcast, but I suspect most of the women listening have experience, right? So you know who you are, you know what you're great at. You know the difference between getting out of your comfort zone or pushing yourself to do something that is really not aligned.

[00:12:57] And now that you can discern that, you get to decide, am I in a place. That is a fit for me for the influence and for the impact I wanna have. Right? And then from there you can take action and yes, then show up in the office more, have conversations with the right people, nurture the relationships, and do it in a way that feels authentic and true to you.

[00:13:17] JJ DiGeronimo: Hmm. I really love your approach. I really love your approach that you encourage women and likely men too, to really think about. What does it mean to you? Is it what you really want? Or do you just continue to push forward because that's what you were taught to do, and do you really want to do this? And I think for so many of us, we've sort of sidestepped that question so often.

[00:13:41] Do you really wanna do this? Because, in my first book I wrote a chapter called The Practicing Polluter. , if you're doing stuff you don't enjoy and you're doing it with people you don't like and you're working on stuff you really don't wanna do, you're probably swimming in a mud puddle.

[00:13:55] Kristen Zavo: And you're wasting your life.

[00:13:58] JJ DiGeronimo: huh, you're wasting your life and you're with other people in the mud puddle cuz frequencies and energy's attract. And so really stepping back and saying, Do you want this? Do you want this? And if you wanna have more, I. Is it for the right reasons or are you just proven to yourself?

[00:14:15] You can get to that next level?

[00:14:17] Kristen Zavo: Yes, it's so true, and I can tell you, everyone listening here, they're smart enough to figure out the how-tos, right? Like I could give you a bunch of steps. I could tell you go into the office. X Times, have conversations with these people, Make a little excel spreadsheet and follow up with people. Have weekly meetings with, you know, each week, a different partner in a different department, right?

[00:14:39] Like I could give you the to-dos, but all of that is figure outable. And anyone who would be listening to a podcast like this, they can figure that out. The deeper, the more important question is, what do I wanna do? Is this a fit with who I am and where I wanna go? And at this point in our careers, we've played the game.

[00:14:54] We've been the good girl. We've followed the rules, right? We've taken on more. we've done all the things. And so now I really wanna encourage, people, and my clients to, to really develop that relationship with themselves and decide, am I where I want to be in this season of life? Is my career, is my job support. The things that I wanna do be have inspire in my life. And if the answer is no, we get to look at how can we either redefine our current roles, how can we change how we show up? ,it doesn't always have to mean a career change or a job change. It can, but there are a lot of things that we can do within our current space.

[00:15:32] A lot of rules that we've. Put on ourselves, quite frankly, right, That we get to adjust and, , really make it so that we're showing up in a way that is aligned and that feels good. Cause guess what, Right? You're into energy, that's what, it feels good. We're gonna do better when the energy is right.

[00:15:49] We're going to have more creativity, more inspiration. We're gonna have better connection. It's gonna be a lot easier to influence and partner and collaborate with people when we're there for the right reasons. Pushing ourselves to do something that we think we should do to climb a ladder that we might not even want.

[00:16:05] What's at the top

[00:16:07] JJ DiGeronimo: Hmm. This is so powerful. I think it's. The right message right now because I feel like so many women are saying, Okay, get up. Let's get to the desk. Let's do it. Let's do it. And honestly, if you're not checking the boxes you just mentioned, like you enjoy it, you wanna be there, you wanna go up, you're probably not creating the influence you want anyways.

[00:16:27] And so instead of creating all these steps, yes, to be like, Alright, you can be more influential if you do A, B, and C. Really diving within and saying, Is this really what I wanna do? Because if the answer's yes, you will be influential.

[00:16:40] Kristen Zavo: Mm-hmm.

[00:16:41] JJ DiGeronimo: There's no doubt. If you love what you do, you're doing it for the right reasons and you like the people you're working with, there is no doubt in my mind you'll be influential and impactful within your work.

[00:16:51] Kristen Zavo: You get to be influential and impactful, not even just by the things you do. But by who you be, how you show up your presence. There's so much power in that and in this world, we are so focused on the push and the hustle and the action items at the expense of, really developing that relationship with self and with source and with who we are and who we wanna be, and

[00:17:18] Unfortunately, that makes it a lot harder, lot tougher, and a lot less enjoyable of a road to meet our goals. And guess what? Everyone here will meet the goals, but do you wanna do it from a place of. Feeling inspired and in the right energy and flowing with life and flowing with your connections, Or do you wanna do it from a place of brute force?

[00:17:38] And let me tell you, the first part of my career, I hit all my goals. I made good money. I had a good job. My resume was impressive. But I did it all through brute force I wish somebody. Would a, you know, and maybe I couldn't even hear it back then, but I wish somebody would've, taken me by the shoulder, shook me and said, Hey, your energy, who you are, who you be, your alignment is more important than all this stuff you're doing.

[00:18:04] JJ DiGeronimo: That is amazing. Well, Kristin, I can already think of few women that I think could really benefit from working with you. So tell me, tell me, how do people find.

[00:18:13] Kristen Zavo: yes, I'm, I'm all over the place. My website is www.Findyourjobjoy.com

I am of course on LinkedIn. I'm on Instagram. My handle is just my name, Kristin Zavo if you are on TikTok, I'm there too at. Find your job, Joy. I'm finding that the adults have finally joined the party on TikTok , so it's a good place to be.

[00:18:33] And where else? I bought Facebook too so you can find me all over the place but I would say LinkedIn and my website are great places to start.

[00:18:41] JJ DiGeronimo: Well, we'll definitely send some women your way. I can't thank you enough for joining us, and if you're interested in reading your book, Job Joy, your Guide to Success, Meaning and Happiness in Your Career, Thank you Kristin for joining us.

[00:18:54] Kristen Zavo: Thank you so much for having me.