Have you ever wondered what fuels the fire in the belly of a comedian? Get ready to crack open the world of chuckles with Newark's king of comedy, Destin Richardson, as he joins me, Mike Bono, in an unfiltered journey through the highs and lows of comedic life. We're laying it all out there—from the relentless grind of content creation to the saving grace of cargo shorts on a hot day. Destin peels back the layers on his podcasting experience, and together, we examine how our relaxed style goes hand in hand with our punchlines, proving that comedy and comfort can coexist.
We're no strangers to the bumpy road of personal struggles, and in this laugh-packed session, we're sharing the stories that sculpted our humorous outlooks. Remember the first time you heard Eddie Murphy 'Raw' or when a Doug Stanhope bit made you think, "I could do this?" We're reminiscing about those pivotal moments, our early days on stage facing the grip of stage fright, and why certain jokes, like the timeless ones about Black Friday, still tickle us pink. Discover how organic and conversational delivery not only captivates the audience but keeps us, the joke-slingers, addicted to the roar of crowd laughter.
Ever been to a funeral and caught yourself crafting a bit in your head? We're admitting to the sometimes inappropriate yet inevitable way our comedic minds tick, even in the darkest of times. And it doesn't stop at punchlines; we're also debating the heavyweight champions of casual dining and sharing our two cents on why hot tea deserves a standing ovation in the beverage world. So, whether you're team Applebee's or Olive Garden, or just in need of a good chuckle, join us as we swap stories, opinions, and the unexpected parallels between truck driving and delivering that perfect one-liner.
Have you ever wondered what fuels the fire in the belly of a comedian? Get ready to crack open the world of chuckles with Newark's king of comedy, Destin Richardson, as he joins me, Mike Bono, in an unfiltered journey through the highs and lows of comedic life. We're laying it all out there—from the relentless grind of content creation to the saving grace of cargo shorts on a hot day. Destin peels back the layers on his podcasting experience, and together, we examine how our relaxed style goes hand in hand with our punchlines, proving that comedy and comfort can coexist.
We're no strangers to the bumpy road of personal struggles, and in this laugh-packed session, we're sharing the stories that sculpted our humorous outlooks. Remember the first time you heard Eddie Murphy 'Raw' or when a Doug Stanhope bit made you think, "I could do this?" We're reminiscing about those pivotal moments, our early days on stage facing the grip of stage fright, and why certain jokes, like the timeless ones about Black Friday, still tickle us pink. Discover how organic and conversational delivery not only captivates the audience but keeps us, the joke-slingers, addicted to the roar of crowd laughter.
Ever been to a funeral and caught yourself crafting a bit in your head? We're admitting to the sometimes inappropriate yet inevitable way our comedic minds tick, even in the darkest of times. And it doesn't stop at punchlines; we're also debating the heavyweight champions of casual dining and sharing our two cents on why hot tea deserves a standing ovation in the beverage world. So, whether you're team Applebee's or Olive Garden, or just in need of a good chuckle, join us as we swap stories, opinions, and the unexpected parallels between truck driving and delivering that perfect one-liner.
Welcome everybody to another episode of the Ride Home Rants podcast. This is, as always, your host, mike Bono. I have a great guest for us today. He comes to us from Newark, ohio. He is the king of Newark and he is a fellow comic. Destin Richardson joins the show. Destin, thanks for joining, brother.
Speaker 2:
Thanks for having me, man.
Speaker 1:
Hey, not a problem at all. So How's comedy life treating you? We'll just roll right into it.
Speaker 2:
Roll right into it. No foreplay, no, nothing, nothing, I don't know. Yeah, no, so comedy. Life's been going pretty great, actually, ending a three-day weekend and the whole day has just been me at this computer editing. So it's my podcast. Yeah, so even my day off it doesn't feel like it, but I'm slowly starting to fill in some in-person shows and, like I said, having good luck on recording the podcast, since you and I spoke last on said podcast.
Speaker 1:
Right.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and finally, for the first time ever, I actually have like four episodes in the bank, so I actually don't have to worry about it for a month or so, just getting all my work done today, getting schedule release on all my platforms and everything. And then, yeah, for the next month I don't have to worry about, you know, inviting people over to my house to talk in my living room for an hour.
Speaker 1:
Man, you sound like me, like I am so far ahead with recordings and everything like that, like I have. I know this by the time. It's serious. It probably won't make sense, but right now it's February 19th, it's President's Day when we're recording this. I'm already done with February. I'm into March and actually starting April recordings, like so I get it, though. Like your days off aren't days off, like I don't get days off.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, yeah, because, like for my day job, sunday is like the one guaranteed day I have off, yeah, so naturally that's my go to day to do podcast, which, granted the act of just sitting down and talking to people, that's not work for me. I love every second of that. It's the getting on a computer and being a video editor, which is something I had no desire to do when I was younger. All I want to do was get on stage and talk about my dick. I didn't want to have to, like learn how to do graphic design, video editing, sound engineering, all this other stuff that we have to now to survive in today's comedy industry.
Speaker 1:
So yeah, I don't mind it. I don't mind that aspect of it. It's actually what I got my college degree in and communications, and it was considered new media, quote unquote, back in the early 2000s when I was graduate, when I was in college.
Speaker 2:
Was it with the end you like new metal was.
Speaker 1:
I wish it was. I went to a liberal arts college, so they don't do anything like that to rock the boats. But yeah, yeah, it was all like when Facebook was really starting to take off and all social media is in Twitter and all that. So it was like, yeah, this is going to be the way of the world, and all of us look at each other like they're fucking full of shit. There's no way like this. And now, yeah, communicate through Twitter, facebook, everything. So, yeah, I had to do a lot of like video editing and audio editing and stuff like that to actually get my degree.
Speaker 2:
Right, yeah, early 2000s. They were wrong about Janko Jeans and Frost Attempt, but they were writing about Internet and it's the future.
Speaker 1:
So yeah, they nailed that one. The I don't know, though I'm a big cargo short guy and cargo pant guy myself those are coming back now. I've seen that, I've noticed and I'm so pumped for that.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I almost never wear anything it's not cargo shorts when it gets above like 60 degrees.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
I'm not not one of those assholes that wears shorts when it's like 40, 30 degrees. No, no, then you wear your own pants. But yeah, I run hot. So like once it's over 60, cargo shorts for me.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah, that's me. Like it's past couple of weeks when I got up into the 60s and everything like that, like it was. Like man, I don't even need my heater at work here. Like I can, I might crank the AC back here in the office just to piss everybody off. It comes in to look for a shed. That's, that's, that's what I'm going to do. Yeah, it's cold. Yeah, well, I sit in here all day. You don't get you buying something.
Speaker 2:
No, I was like yeah, I mean my, my office is the outdoors. Yeah, so, yeah, so I, you know, I opened up the windows, didn't have the AC on. Yeah, when it was in the 60s. Yeah, I was wearing the shorts.
Speaker 1:
So let me, let me ask you this what made you want to get into comedy?
Speaker 2:
So the answer that I'm supposed to tell people and tell the social media is a love of making people laugh, bringing light into darkness, of turning a skill that I had to survive school and profit off of it. The real answer is pussy. I want to be able to sleep with women a little better than I should be getting without comedy. That's it. Money will be nice. Like the money, the recognition, free drinks. That's all cool and I like that too, but it's all about all about that.
Speaker 1:
All about that, yeah.
Speaker 2:
And okay, there's a degree of truth to the other stuff I said earlier. You know, like I said, like I was, I was always a fat kid growing up and so it's one of those things if I had, if I wanted to, to fit in, if I wanted to do anything, I had to bring something to the table and that was being funny. And then, yeah, and you know I'm clinically depressed as well. So, no, I do, I do genuinely gain some satisfaction out of being able to make people laugh, smile, forget about their their stuff too, and then I'm hoping at least one of them, you know, meets me in the bathroom afterwards. So, yeah, that's, that's the longest short of it.
Speaker 2:
Also, when I was 13, I was staying at an uncle's house one time in Pennsylvania and then he had a lot of like stand up, like albums, dvds, stuff like that, and I stumbled upon Eddie Murphy's Raw special and this, you know, at the time I only ever known Eddie Murphy for Dr Doolittle and donkey and shrek. So I was like I'm pretty Murphy and you know he'd put it on and in the very first thing should scar people for life if they only knew him as those two things. Yeah, and it did the opposite for me. I was like this is great. And by the end, by the end of raw, I was like I want to do that someday. And then what officially got me off the couch to do it was all the way back in 2018. And after you know so it had been 10 years since I first saw raw.
Speaker 2:
But 2018, I saw Doug Stanhope, beer hall, pooch Stan official and just watching a dude care so little about fame and money and all the stuff and just doing the art and not giving a fuck. You know, I was like all right, I need to look up an open mic. Right now I am going and I am doing every everything I have which I. My first set was like a 15 minute set, because it was a regular like ball art form open mic, so mostly musicians and they were doing 15, 20 minute spots. So I did 15 minutes my first time out and it went well. I did not kill it by any means, but I didn't. It didn't bomb either. I had maybe two jokes that didn't land how I wanted to, but for the most part, I achieved exactly what I wanted to. It felt great. And then the rest of the history and that's why I'm here talking to you from my living room.
Speaker 1:
So yeah, I mean, I me getting into comedy was to help a help a friend out, and I never thought I'd want to turn it into a career Now. I've always watched stand ups and comedy specials and stuff like that. Growing up like raw was definitely one of the ones that you know turned me on to comedy. But you know, like the Jerry Seinfelds of the world and then getting to do like the sitcoms along with it being on TV, that kind of interest me. But I had such crippling stage fright that it's like there's no way I'd ever ever be able to do that with with this stage fright, there's no way.
Speaker 1:
But buddy convinced me to do it, just to fill a spot for him. And, like you, I did 20 minutes because he ran his shows a little weird. He wasn't really scripted as much. He was like I just go up there to you run out of jokes. It's like, well, I could go up there for like 30 seconds and pass out and then my portion's over, like that's probably what's going to happen. So but I'm talking for 20 minutes and then, you know, got off stage and made, killed the room and caught the comedy bug and just decided like, yeah, let's go for it that's chasing dream and let's make a career out of making people laugh and and telling stupid dick jokes on stage like that. Let's do that. Or for me, you know, the best joke that landed for me was what you heard at the Black Friday show. We did the rape joke.
Speaker 1:
I've been doing that. I've been doing that joke for almost 12 years and it still gets a laugh. And I've told myself that probably not going to stop doing that joke until it doesn't get a laugh. And like it's, it gets a laugh every time. So yeah, I've added to it. Obviously, over the years I changed it up a little bit but like my writing style is completely I don't want to say nonexistent, but it's nonexistent. I just kind of live my life and then I just kind of write down ideas from things I've seen that I think I could make funny, and then I just go on stage and just kind of ref, so like, do you have a writing style yourself when you're writing jokes?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, kind of I was just while you're talking about yours, honestly, yeah, you're very just, it feels naturally conversational. Yeah, like. Yeah, you're not. It's not that you're like not trying like too hard, you know, it's just you have a natural feel to your delivery and all that. So respect.
Speaker 2:
Appreciate it, but yet so for my writing style. I mean I started out again strictly story based. I didn't write a lot of one liner starting out, yeah, but yeah over time, and I'm a fan of literally every style of comedy. I mean, if we're talking like, I mean I like some alternative stuff, I like urban stuff. I hate the term urban black like black comics.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, we can say it, on it there's a lot of my roots. Pun intended, it was black comics, deadpan comics I love a good deadpan comic every now and then. I have a lot of a lot of female comics. I love a lot of one liners. I love the story tellers. You know any style of comedy I love and respect. So I'll always dabble little bits here and there of something. But yeah, I always approach.
Speaker 2:
You know, obviously we do a lot of reverse engineering. Sometimes, like you know, we have the punchline first and then it's like all right, well, now how do we stretch this out to a bit or a story or something to? You know, fill time, add suspense, add elements. You know set up, set up stuff. Yeah, so it usually starts with that.
Speaker 2:
You know, usually I'm out there during the day job. You know, the idea hits me, goes in my notes app. I come home, I look at it. I was like all right, first off, what was I thinking? It's been hours since then. Sometimes I forget there's a great Mitch Hedberg jump about how he'll do the same thing.
Speaker 2:
And then when he gets home he's like I either to remember exactly what it was or I have to convince myself that what I wrote down isn't funny enough to actually write it out, or something like that, yeah. So sometimes it's like, all right, is it worth me even trying to think about what I was thinking? And yeah, y'all sit it down, write out. You know traditionally three to four tags on top of that that are all related and then I'll sprinkle in some details. So, yeah, you, pretty much I usually work. You know. Back to the front. For the most part you know you always have one that breaks even your own established style. Sometimes it's just a story that you it's worth a word. You write it in chronological order yeah, yeah, typically a lot of reverse engineering. So, punchline, I don't think we're time. I think of other stuff to make it sound more like a story.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I mean, I'm like you, I'm a storytelling comedian or, as they dubbed me almost 12 years ago, a ranting comedian, because I don't want to say I don't talk about anything positive on stage, because I do have some positive things that I talk about on stage, but 98% of my set is just things that piss me off. And it's how one of my running jokes that I I could just continually build on and said I hate stupid questions and I hate stupid people. And that's the gist of it, because I've worked in retail for as long as I've been a comic and you hear nothing but fucking stupid questions all day and being in a professional, I need to make a sale or I don't make money type of situation I got to like suppress and push all that anger like down to my feet and then when they leave, I'm just like writing it down like I cannot forget that question and then I just literally say the question and then just go on a tyrant like on stage and that was like the early parts of my comedy and that's where I started. You know, my, my merch store, the stupid should hurt merch store, because that's now the tagline is I think stupid should hurt and I ssh, ssh, that's. Yeah, I tell everybody because people come up to me when I with SSH because I didn't think what I made this hat to like, maybe I should put like a period in between each letter so that you know it's an acronym for something.
Speaker 1:
Because people just come up to me, I just go and I was like at first, I'm like what I'm like? Oh, my hat. Yeah, I forgot wearing it. Yeah, but no, it's not what it stands for. Yes, that's, but I've evolved the SSH to you can be whatever you want it to mean Sexy. So free hunk. That's the yeah, sure, that's exactly what it means. You want to buy a hat? Let's buy a hat like this. One's $20. Then I'll get you one. You know what I mean Like and but single Spanish shows. There you go. That's a new one. I haven't heard that one before. That's definitely I'm going to.
Speaker 2:
That's what's on my mind all the time Single Spanish shows. That's why I'm doing this.
Speaker 1:
Single Spanish shows.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I'll say keep me away from New Mexico, arizona, el Paso, though, or if I, if I learn enough Spanish, maybe I'll do gigs in Juarez or Tijuana. Yeah, I do.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, it's like People have asked me though, because you know I am Italian and you know my grandparents and great-grandparents were right off the boat from Italy and my great-grandparents spoke very broken English, so like I had to learn a little bit at a very young age to be able to communicate with them if I wanted to. But people asked me I was like, oh, you're a town, would you ever do a show in Italy? I was like, well, first off, yes, because that's a bucket list dream of mine is to go to Italy. So if I have a chance to work and make money while doing it, fuck yeah. But there's going to be a language barrier because I completely forget how to communicate in Italian. I know a select few words that come out in my daily life.
Speaker 1:
I guess I still remember when my wife and I first moved in together. We were doing dishes after dinner and she was washing them, I was drying them, but I don't say what it is, but the dish towels were on the other side of her. So I just turned to her because this is what has been said to me for my entire life was that was called a mappine. A mappine is dish towel in Italian. And I turned to her and I said, hey, can you hand me the mappine? And she goes what? I said, can you hand me the mappine? She goes hand you what? And now the Italian anger is coming out and I just went the mappine and she was like OK, you can say it as loud as you want. I don't know what the fuck that is. I was like, oh fuck, yeah, you're nowhere near done the dish towel so I can dry the dishes. And she was like the fuck did you call it? And I was like mappine. She's like what is it? I was like dish towel in Italian, that's what we've always called them. They're mappines, that's what it is.
Speaker 1:
So things come out and I'm working on a design for a new shirt and I saw it on a page and I'm trying to make it my own and not steal theirs. But it's the word for basically idiot or stupid person in Italian and that's stu-na-d and I've seen this shirt on. It's hardcore Italians. I love their merchandise and stuff like that, but it's stu-na-ds. I'm surrounded by stu-na-ds and I'm trying to think of a way to incorporate stu-na-d into my merch store. So stupid should hurt merch store. But yeah, I know a little bit of Italian. Obviously all the bad words. Everyone knows those. That's a given, yeah.
Speaker 2:
I'll say yeah if it's a swear word or a type of pasta.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and everyone knows those yeah.
Speaker 2:
On the subject of pasta, one thing. So I mean America's always bastardized Italian food, and I think I know why, as I've started to learn how to cook more and more of it is. It's just Americans don't want to do the dishes, so they try to make everything as a one pot pasta, and that's where they fuck it up. Sometimes you just you gotta accept, hey, we're gonna do a couple more dishes, but we're gonna do everything, right, right? I guess the other thing is on TikTok. There's so many TikTok-booking videos and it's just a bunch of people trying to do these giant not-so-old dishes or one pot pastas, and then you have an entire country on the Mediterranean Sea losing their shit, and then Americans find that funny, and then cycles never ending.
Speaker 1:
It's a vicious circle of just people pissing off my culture. That's what it is.
Speaker 2:
I'll say yeah, you're an Italian raised in West Virginia, so you're just a confrontation machine on both fronts.
Speaker 1:
You have no idea. Sometimes I do it just to get the blood pressure up and get it moving. You know what I mean? Right, it's like. You know what let's fight today. Let's have an argument over something stupid. It doesn't even like why'd you hang your keys on an ad hook instead of that ad hook? It was a fucking matter where I put my goddamn like. You know what I mean. It's just, yeah, I find little things that I found out and my wife found out very quickly after she met my family for the first time, like why I lose my shit on a daily basis over the smallest thing. It's just an Italian thing. We just we have very short fuses and it doesn't take much to light that fuse and get a reaction, and I think it's not the mafia that started.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, Somebody was just like I mean, if there's one thing good fellas did accurately was just how quickly Joe Pashie's character killed a made man, just because one small little slight you know.
Speaker 3:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
You know he knew the consequences. He lived his whole life in the mob. But you know just one guy that he didn't think was funny. He thought he was a little too wise. And then we know how that ended for him.
Speaker 1:
But yeah good, fellas is definitely one of my favorite Italian movies of all time. I was trying to think I had another one on top of my head and it just it's gone. It'll circle back around here in a minute. My mind's like a lazy Susan. If you give it a minute, it'll come back around to what you're looking for. But so comedy, and you know the podcast, the destination podcast that I was just recently on, and Are you recording? Yes, I am Okay. What's up?
Speaker 3:
It's a long story, okay.
Speaker 1:
Um, yeah, the wife, I don't know. She was holding something in her hand and she had a concerned look on her face and she goes are you recording? I was like, yes, she goes. Oh, it's a long story and she just walked away, so we'll find that out later here tonight. What happened? I don't know what happened. Yes, I do want to know what happened.
Speaker 3:
I was washing my face in the shower and I ripped my nose ring out and I didn't know and I couldn't get it in because I can't see and I don't like touching my own nose, so I put it in my mouth, okay, so I go to cough and I accidentally like inhale it, in kind of I have to like keep coughing to cough it out. So I finally cough it out. Now I have it and I can't get it in because I can't touch my own nose.
Speaker 1:
So moral of the story is is you can't get your nose ring back in no, I can't. Okay, let me finish here. I will put your nose ring back in for you, dear. Okay, uh, yeah, that's all. That's all. That's all. Here's the thing, though. She can't touch her own. That's the thing. That's the thing. Sorry, she can't touch her own nose and she hates it when I touch her nose, but now I have to try to muscle through that and put her nose ring back in whenever I'm done here. Right?
Speaker 2:
It's going to be a very fun night. Sounds like the equivalent of trying to give a cat a bath. Yeah, yeah, we did. We've been doing it for a long time. It's been fun, but the whole time she's going to be like, ah, wait, wait wait, wait, wait.
Speaker 1:
We have one cat out of the five. She got it. We don't have to worry about it. Everyone Now we got it. The one in the back of the room we got it. She got it. All right, Look at this.
Speaker 3:
Oh, let me see it.
Speaker 1:
All of them. Oh good, you know, girl, I'll touch my other cat's nose ring. You did just that stuff. All right, Welcome to the Bono House guys. That's, this is what happens in my house.
Speaker 2:
Now you know what goes on in our house.
Speaker 1:
This is, yeah, I definitely. This is why I don't need to write material Like this, is why there's no material that needs to be wrote down at all, because, yeah, that's gold there, but so comedy. How long have you been doing comedy?
Speaker 2:
So actually, well, this will air afterwards. So February 24th for our recording is Saturday, but February 24th is my six year anniversary, right on. I the reason I'm throwing a show, which again has already happened since now, but the reason I threw a show specifically for it, is because I sort of almost don't count 2020. So if in theory, it's five active years, right, so that's enough of a milestone where I'm like, all right, hey, let's do some kind of special thing for it. But yeah, and then also back when I started, as soon as I started stand up, I got a serious girlfriend only my second one. And already I was like all right, clearly I'm not even sticking true to my purpose for doing stand up. I was like the idea is all of the women, not just one. But no, so we dated for two years.
Speaker 2:
But even though right from the get go I had told her I'm like hey, I just started doing stand up. It's been my dream since I was 13. It's going well so far. I was like so I will be pursuing this. So just know, that means there are going to be a couple of weekends that I won't be here, oh, and there will be all over Ohio, over the Midwest, you know wherever.
Speaker 2:
And she, at first she's like I want to be with you every step of the way, I want to fully support you. I can't wait to be on some award show with you when you get some small me to grow in a movie or a TV series, something like that. So it was like solid, important. And then, months later, danger to Always guilt, tripped me so hard about, you know, never being there for her or never helping me with her, her son, all you know, all that classic stuff. So, admittedly, I then also talked about five months off just to appease her. So, yeah, yeah, the dance. Your original question six years total, give or take a couple months due to, uh, two different types of infections in my life.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, um, I get it though, uh, because you know I I guess I say I've been doing it'll be 12 years in November of this year of 2024, uh, but I did take a year off, like a full year off from doing comedy, like I had been grinding and just trying to make this a thing and driving all over the midwest and the east coast and everything, just trying hitting different open mics and trying to make a name for myself. That in like the first four or five years that I just like burnt myself out. That I was just like you know what. I'm not even gonna think about comedy. I need to just decompress and just focus on what's important.
Speaker 1:
And yeah, that was like the longest year of my life and I didn't plan on taking like a year off. I actually was like, no, I'll take like a month, two months off and I'll jump back on the horse and I just I couldn't do it. I don't know why. I was just that burnt out of it and so, yeah, I mean, I technically I guess 11 years with that year off, but I was still always thinking about comedy and what's funny and trying to find the funny in every situation. Did you have that with your time off?
Speaker 2:
Oh, absolutely. Uh, that's one thing. Uh, the mind of a comic. Never, ever, ever, ever, that's off, I can't. I remember I was like talking to uh was talking to a girl a couple months ago, or whatever, and I even just casually mentioned that. I was like, oh my god, I just saw something I said the first time ever I'm not trying to think about how I can make this a joke and she's even like, uh, okay, congrats on being a normal fucking person. Yeah, I was like glad to glad to hear uh, someone dying, that you couldn't spin a joke about it. You know like, yeah, I was like, oh no, now I have to process trauma and all this stuff. Uh, I have to actually uh deal with it head on and I'll just swerve it with by making it a joke.
Speaker 1:
Um, so I realized I didn't like that and I went right back to my old ways yeah, I, uh, I'm convinced that she, like the day that happens to me is the day it's like time to hang up the microphone. Like if I can't find the funny in a situation, then like, yeah, it's time to hang it up. Like I found a joke out of my grandfather's funeral and I I say grandfather, but it was my mom's real dad who left when she was really young and he I didn't meet him until I was 25 years old, so we didn't have the best relationship. But, uh, my grandfather on my dad's side, the dego of the group uh, he doesn't wear his hearing aids and he can't hear, and he's a very loud Italian as it is, and he absolutely loves my wife. He loves my wife to the point where that's all he wants to do is sit and talk with her when we're at family get-together. Well, this was one family get-together that you probably shouldn't be working up. Funny conversations. Joking on my own spit, all right.
Speaker 2:
It's the opposite of my podcast.
Speaker 1:
I was just saying you had a heart attack on your podcast. I'm choking on my own spit. We're a mess. Man like this is.
Speaker 2:
We gotta stop meeting like this. We do anyways. So Then you will sit down with a Miller light too. It's a Micola.
Speaker 1:
Ultra, but yes, micol Ultra, okay, in my, and I'll give him another shameless plug in my buddy's beer-cared Cousy. Yeah, I'm not choking on my nose ringing, I'll leave that up to you, honey, but um, so anyways and my wife loves this story too, if well, because it happened to her one. Well, we're sitting there, the funeral hasn't started yet, and my grandfather did not like this man at all. He did not like my mom's real dad at all. So he leads over into my wife as if he's gonna whisper and goes I don't know who's gonna come to this. He was kind of an asshole and nobody liked him, and he said it that loud in the middle of the funeral parlor. When my mom is a mess crying in the front of the funeral parlor and my dad just goes oh Jesus Christ, dad, like what are we doing? Then my grandmother turns around, who's equally as loud as my grandfather, and goes hey, pamph, you want to say it a little louder so you can wake the dead up there? This is what happened at the start of this funeral.
Speaker 2:
We still laugh about this to this day.
Speaker 1:
It's just the opening act it. I'm gonna say this it was the best funeral I've ever been to in my life and it was a family member, so that's the best part is because we laughed about that and we told every single person that walked in to that funeral parlor that story and it made it a better experience, I guess, for everybody. We weren't crying, we weren't depressed because we lost a family member. We were laughing and enjoying the day, which I still didn't know him that well. I think he would have wanted, but I don't know. He was kind of an asshole and nobody really liked him. But yeah, he said it that loud. That was. That was the best part is. He absolutely screamed this and he leaned into my wife's ear like he was gonna whisper to her and didn't whisper at all. Right, and that's my family. That's that's why I don't need to actually physically sit at a desk and be like, all right, I need to write some jokes. No, there's no, that doesn't need to happen.
Speaker 2:
That's, that's, that's great. That's. That's an example of when keeping it real goes right. Yes, yeah, my, yeah, my funeral I already have. I've already, because my parents, they they're both getting older now and they started to explain some health things. So they got real paranoid and we all went to our local funeral home to, you know, write up the write up what happens on the planet, the planet, our funeral. And I had already written in mind that I'm having at following hours, it will end with a roast of me. I already have notified the comics like hey, when you see my mom make a sad Facebook post about and speaking about me in past tense, bring out the jokes. Yeah, let's say, and we already.
Speaker 2:
I got to do a version of it while I was alive. This year, for my 30th birthday, I had a roast of me, which, for those of you still watching, you can go to my YouTube channel. It's on there in its entirety. It's great. My friends are assholes, hold on. And then also, I have a playlist for my.
Speaker 2:
I already sent them the playlist for my, my following hours and just to piss off my parents and my family, it is five hours of just the most hardcore gangsta rap. A match. I mean we're talking like songs where, like machine guns are an instrument in the track, like we're hardcore gangsta shit. And I just know my parents will be like, you know, just when you think you we knew him. You know, now, just to make them uncomfortable, my couple of friends will you know, they'll, undoubtedly they'll be loving, they'll be vibing, drinking my Miller Highlights because again, I also put that in my, my funeral arrangements There'll be kegs of Miller Highlights and Doseckis at my, at my calling hours, and so, yeah, it's gonna be a kegger, it's gonna be a rest. My funeral is gonna be the most fun show I've ever produced.
Speaker 1:
Basically, I'll tell you this right now. I'll MC the whole thing just for that. Like this, let's get us to this.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, we'll get. We'll get you on the mic, I'll get in there and just That'll be the one that holds the round cards.
Speaker 3:
What?
Speaker 1:
You know it holds up with the written one. My wife's gonna be a ring girl and hold up the round cards as the comics roast you. That's what she just said. She goes, I'm gonna hold up the round cards.
Speaker 2:
Nice. Yeah, the applause and the awe signs yeah, absolutely so. There'll be a hall. There'll be a hologram of me at the end getting my final say you know, doing my wrap-up set. Yeah, so I mean it'll be a video. I don't have Coachella budget, I'm not gonna do like the Tupac hologram thing. It'll just be someone wheels out a TV on, like one of those school cards that they they had their TVs on, and then someone will put it in the VHS and it'll be my VHS, my last set.
Speaker 1:
We just lost every Gen Z listener to this show from you, just like VHS. What are these dinosaurs talking about? I don't know what is that.
Speaker 2:
The TVs that we would in school when our teachers were hungover would make us watch Magic School Bus on. Or Bill and I, the science guy. Now I know they know Bill and I.
Speaker 1:
Bill and I's best time was he's still, if you don't know, bill and I, this is the wrong show for you, yeah and even then you need to know Magic School Bus, that show was.
Speaker 2:
That show was an acid trip for children.
Speaker 1:
Oh, hundred percent. Like that was for, I think, the stoner parents that were stuck home with their kids sick. They're like all right, now we're gonna watch this shit, like so yeah, that was like all right, we're gonna go out back get stoned. You just lay here, honey, we're just gonna go outside for a second, we'll be right back and she comes back and just stoned out of her gourd watching Magic School Bus. It's the only way to watch it, by the way.
Speaker 2:
Yeah so, yeah, that's.
Speaker 1:
That's the funeral plan yeah that that is phenomenal, and I don't mean this in a bad way. But I can't wait. I can't wait for this to happen. I'm not gonna be neither.
Speaker 2:
If only I could stick around for the reviews. You know, yeah, that's the part that's gonna kill me as an artist is the banger of a show that I'm going out on and I don't even get to hear the feedback.
Speaker 1:
You know, that's, that's the part that kills me as a producer you'll be able to watch the feedback live, though, as it happens, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:
Like that's, yeah, just or better yet, I pop out of the casket because I'm faking it the whole time, and then everybody hates me for the rest of my life that's the.
Speaker 1:
That's the way to go out, though that that's the way he did all this just he.
Speaker 2:
He did all this just to hear like eight of his friends say one nice thing about him he just wanted to have a keg in a few moments yeah, I'd have to rebrand after that. That's the Richardson. The name that's Richardson would have to die. I'll, I'll come up with some you know new name. We got there all either shave my head or I'll dye my hair. You know I'll, I'll vanish. I'll, I'll go out to like North Carolina or Arizona somewhere.
Speaker 1:
Just start a whole new life there you go, man, that that's fucking hysterical, like that's the best thing I've heard in a long time. I'm not gonna lie to you here. But hey, dustin, we are running down near the end of the episode here, but I do have to get this one segment in, and no, I don't tell any of my guests about this segment because I want it to be a surprise for the new listeners out there. This is the fast Fitty five. Five random questions from the wonderful manager of the podcast, johnny Fitty Falcone, and they really have nothing to do with what we've been talking about for the entire what now? 40 minutes that we've been talking here. They're kind of rapid fire, but you can elaborate if you need to. So if you already, all right, we're good here, all right. Question number one if a guy has his ear pierced, when is it appropriate age to stop wearing earrings?
Speaker 2:
so it's my belief the appropriate age to stop wearing earrings is a year before you made the decision to pierce your ears at all. That's one thing I don't do. I have tattoos. I mean I'm actually getting work done recently. I have another session in March but I can do tattoos. Piercings has been one thing I just never been on board with at all. And with the ears, you know, there's like you know there's the I know I'm really killing the rapid fire of this but like then there's the whole, like do you get the one or do you have to get both? Because then there's like you had to know which one and sends the right message. You know stuff like that absolutely.
Speaker 1:
Question number two is Applebee's or Olive Gardening a better restaurant?
Speaker 2:
I'm gonna say Applebee's actually good call. At least Applebee's isn't completely bastardizing a culture. Applebee's is just acknowledging hey, you know we do American food kind of cheap and a shitty, and they know that. So I respect them for that yeah, 100%.
Speaker 1:
Question number three breakfast, lunch or dinner which is the best meal to go out to eat?
Speaker 2:
um, so I personally, I would usually say dinner, but that being said, I almost have to always eat out for lunch anyway. So I always find myself eating out for lunch, so maybe the idea of going out for dinner as well is like extra special okay, okay.
Speaker 1:
Question number four if you had the chance to be a plumber or a truck driver for the rest of your life, which one would you pick?
Speaker 2:
not by much, but a trucker, yeah, cuz I mean I already put a lot of time out on the road going to gigs and everything and it's it's mentally and spiritually exhausting, but at least you know trucks often usually have decent food, there's a lot lizards and you don't have to deal with other people shit literally.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I say plumber, you're just gonna catch crap all day long. So yeah, yeah. Question number five is hot tea overrated or underrated?
Speaker 2:
I hot tea. I will say underrated, especially, you know, here in America. Now that means that I'm a sweet tea man till the day I die. That'll be on my death or a meal. But no, I do. I love a good hot tea. I think it's underrated. I'm sure if I lived in Europe I would be tired of it and say it's overrated. But you know, that's the creamer yeah, I mean hot tea.
Speaker 1:
You know, as as two guys it literally make a living talking to people. You know it does. It does help the the vocal cords in the throat a little bit. So yeah, I guess there's some positives there. But unless it's sweet tea, all teas hot garbage, it's my take on it. But that was a fast, fruity five. I feel like. I feel like he took it a little easy on you. But yeah, he's he. He seems to have these weird obsessions with these questions for a while and it's a lot about a person for for a while there, there was an animal question in every single set of questions.
Speaker 1:
He's now slowly transitioning. That to food is. What I've noticed is like there's always a food or a restaurant question, but typically for the new listeners out there, then we'll wrap the show up here. Johnny Fitty Falcote to live inside of his mind for a day would probably send you to a mental ward, because one of the questions that he literally had was okay, mike Tyson, connor McGregor, batman and a bear are trapped in a racquetball court. Who comes out alive? Like those are the types of things that we normally get on the fast 55 and wait.
Speaker 2:
It's a Conor McGregor, mike Tyson, a bear, and who? Batman? Batman. So here's the question, and this is coming from a nerd how much is this a random encounter, or does Batman have 24 hour prep time?
Speaker 1:
he does not have 24 hour prep time?
Speaker 2:
this is a random encounter.
Speaker 1:
Okay, randomly trapped in a racquetball court. So.
Speaker 2:
I would still you're saying I'd still go Batman. He would be able to have gadgets, he would hide himself up in the corner while the bear ate the others, and then he would have some way of subduing the bear from above that was the quickest answer anybody's ever given to that kind of question, though I'll give you that, but like people normally like, overthink it.
Speaker 1:
But you're probably not.
Speaker 2:
You're probably right, batman for sure yeah, batman smart enough, he would be like, hey, the others, I mean they can fight, but it's a bear, so it's a fucking bear you let the bear, wipe the the rest of the competition out and then, while he's up in the corner, you hang in from like a bat or anger, some shit like that. He'd be able to like be like alright, I land here, go for a weak spot. You know something?
Speaker 1:
yeah, absolutely, but, like I said, we're running down to the end of the episode. I give every guest this opportunity at the end of every episode. I'm gonna give you about a minute if there's anything you want to get out there, any upcoming shows and he talked about your podcast or even if it's just a good message. Gonna give you about a minute and the floor is yours, marin okay, all right, awesome.
Speaker 2:
So I'm trying to think here, march 29th if you're anywhere near Newark or not, march 29th. I'm trying to think here. I'm not looking at my notes here I have, I have something on March 29th, okay. And then I have a show in April, april 27th in Columbus bossy, real spirit of joint. May 4th, I have the roast of Luke Skywalker and, yeah, check out my YouTube channel. It just searched my name. It should come up. I have my hour long-stamp special grown-up on there. I also have the roast of me on there. I have only podcast episodes. See what else. Social media the real Destin Richardson on Instagram. I know Facebook and if you're a single woman ages 18 through 59, you can text me at 740 that's the best way probably to end is giving your phone number out to remember why I do comedy.
Speaker 2:
I know why.
Speaker 1:
But the given out to 18 to 59 year olds like that's smack dab in the middle of my demographic according to my I love.
Speaker 2:
I love Cougars, so yeah, but we're gonna edit there.
Speaker 1:
That's gonna do it for this week's episode of the Ride Home Rance podcast. Again, I want to thank my guest, destin Richardson, the king of Newark, for joining the show here today. As always, if you enjoyed the show, be a friend, tell a friend. If you didn't tell him anyways, they might like it just because you didn't, that's gonna do it for me and I will see y'all next week.
