SPEAKER_01 0:00

May 2nd, 2019, and uh just recently I celebrated seven years clean last month. And um you know I just wanted to let everyone know that I believe in you, and you know, today's just for today was about that. Um welcome to all the newcomers. Um glad you're here. Um and welcome anyone that's back from relapse. Please stay. You don't have to leave. Um thing that has happened for me uh since I got to the rooms of NA. Even though I'm not responsible for what I did during my addiction, I am responsible for my recovery. And I just want to share that you know our message is very simply that an addict that any addict can lose the desire to use, find a new way to live. And um we for me um coming to NA wasn't something that I planned on doing. Um the last six months I spent in and out of the hospital um in very bad shape. We um I decided that you know uh that there was no God and that uh for me that uh my life was worthless. I was in a very negative dark spot at that time. And they let me know that there's only two ways out of the hospital. Either I'm gonna die here or I'm gonna go to a rehab. So I figured uh I'll go to rehab and be able to use again. That I was truly a mistake. So you know I considered myself the mistake. My parents had an older brother, I have an older brother and a younger sister, and uh I was the oops. Um, you know, and I learned that, you know, by talking to someone in the in uh rehab that you know the only reason that I was alive was because there was there was a higher power out there, and he called it God. And uh and I said, How do you know that? And he says, Because you're still alive and you have a purpose. Uh I've seen a lot and I spent a lot of time using. You know, 1979 was the first time I got high and I didn't get to the rooms of NA until the year 2019 when I was 51 years old. Um living proof that it's never too late to turn your life around. You know, um I had a high tolerance for pain and I used particular drugs until they became a problem, and then I substituted another one and just kept moving on. In the beginning I used because I wanted to be accepted and it was fun. And as I was living in that part of my life, um I used because I couldn't make it through the day without hurting somebody. Um I tried to stop. I couldn't. What it's like to overdose, what it's like to be in a car wreck and walk away. Um I know now that there was a higher power out there. Yeah, I do believe now. Um I have, you know, just recently I want to share this. Uh this time of year is very tough for me. Um my father passed away um on June 4, uh back in 1996, in my arms.

SPEAKER_00 13:50

Okay, last yeah, jednuc, protože tento čas v roku je pre mňa dosť taky ťažký, protože můj otec zoměl v juni 4. júna tak jak v roku 1969 v moim náručí.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

And uh just last month is the anniversary of my mother's death, and um you know that when my parents died, you I truly felt like I was alone. And that was just a front so that I could keep on getting high.

SPEAKER_00 17:01

Ah, I never some good record of NA.

SPEAKER_01 17:06

You know, prior to NA I've tried often to stop only to fail time and time again. I've gone through many surgeries in the past two years, three years actually. And thank God for the suggestions that NA taught me, you know, um to avoid people, places, and things that I use that or people I used with, to come early and stay late, you know, to not use, go to meetings. Well, the go-to-meeting part, I'm grateful that there's a virtual world out here now. So I've been able to stay connected to that. They tell us to keep coming back, they tell us to make 90 meetings, one meeting per day for 90 days. They told us to build a network, get phone numbers, and use them. And, you know, uh, they told us to join a home group and get in service. And all of those are so valuable to me. You know, that's my higher power working. You know, um I was so lonely and then I get a phone call at six in the morning from Andrea to ask me to come speak. And that changed my life that day. Um and that's all part of the program. Um getting phone numbers and using them, building a network. Um she was part of my home group for a short time. And I'm glad I have her in my life. Uh, mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally. You know, and I only have the program and my higher power and the people in my network, my support. Group for the positive direction that my life is going right now. You know, I'm no longer surviving, I'm living now. Um I'm actually thriving. And uh, you know, surrender and gratitude are the two biggest ones right now. You know, um the days go by, life is happens, and I'm never gonna be perfect. Um there will be times that there are things that I can't do, and all I can do is surrender. And uh NA stands for never alone, and I realized that when I'm going through something, the most important thing I can do is stay connected. Yes, um, the transformation has been amazing. They the changes I've made in my life, um you know, there's truly a force for good in this world and I cooperate with it. You know. But NA is a learning program, and you know, I have hope that everything that I don't know, I will always find someone else in the program that does know. Yeah, I participate in going to uh area service um which I'm now going to be starting to do again. Um since the surgeries I had to take a break, but um returning to service this month. You know, every day is um an adventure for me now. And it's like my eyes are open and I have a different perspective on everything. Um the world is beautiful. My higher power, our creator, has given us everything that we need to be happy and healthy with. You know, and I will always be surrendering my will. I used to be peeking out the window, wondering who's coming to get me. Now looking out the window to see who's coming to visit me. But it can be arrested. It's just waiting for the opportunity. So that's why I keep coming back, that's why I continue to surrender every day, that's why um I stay connected. You know, when they said that it's not where you are and where you have been, it's uh where you're going. Um I have a vision of my life in my head, you know, that I'm going to recover physically. I'm going to be able to spend my old age with my wife, you know, walking along beaches, you know, collecting seashells and sea glass. Um gives me great joy. And these days I don't think about using, you know, I think about living and enjoying what is here. Um it takes a lot of work just to be able to get up every day and put one foot in front of the other.

SPEAKER_00 34:32

Uh there's no uh just again?

SPEAKER_01 34:43

Sure. It takes a lot of work to get up every day and put one foot in front of the other.

SPEAKER_00 34:50

Okay, okay, okay. Allah says, The blessing is that if we don't use, we get to wake up each day.

SPEAKER_01 35:07

You know, um, and that's that's just the beauty of life. And when they talk about, you know, beyond your wildest dreams, you know, um this program has provided me with so many gifts that you know the world is is what it is. I can't change it. But my life and how I react to everything has completely changed. I'm running out of things to talk about. What do I have? 13 minutes left? Alright.

SPEAKER_02 36:28

Um you talk about sponsorship?

SPEAKER_01 36:33

Yes, I can actually. Uh um, you know, they said sponsorship is the heartbeat of our program. Um and I believe my sponsor is on the screen here today. At least I thought I saw him. And uh, you know, uh that relationship, um I learned what to do and what not to do.

SPEAKER_00 37:00

Uh some sponsors to a coat serca, the Russian sponsors. Uh that the rookies are not children.

SPEAKER_01 37:17

You know, people believed in me, um and now I have to return the same to others, and you know, we can only keep what we have by giving it away, and my sponsor has really hammered that home, made it important.

SPEAKER_00 37:48

Uh my sponsor is takes it lkoll do mía, totality.

SPEAKER_01 38:17

So I can remember.

SPEAKER_00 38:22

Pomáhal mi s tím, protože jsem něco, kto si dává na časem ty vlastně věci prežić a nějakých strávić.

SPEAKER_01 38:38

And recently um I became an attraction to someone else that they asked me to sponsor them. But of course, you know, before I make any big decisions when I don't know what to do, I run it. Um I run it past my sponsor and see what he thinks. I feel I'm still a work in progress, and uh I think that uh sponsorship is gonna be a two-way street. I'm gonna learn more about myself as I help someone else learn about their selves. Um, and I want to be able to share that. And it's home. You know when I thought about what I was gonna share, um this always happens to me that I try and plan everything out and you know write it down and things like that, but today I just try to do it uh from my heart. Yes, so for me, you know, um if one person here, you know, gets a message that you know they too can stop, you know, um and stay and start to change their lives, you know, that would be a successful day. Outside help as well. And I'm not ashamed to say that now. You know, I'm just trying to be the best version, the truest version of my own self. And if I could do it, anybody can do it.

SPEAKER_00 44:41

Okay, to do me, I took too.

SPEAKER_01 44:56

Five minutes, okay. Thank you. I recognize the time. Um I'm trying to think about how I could wind this down. You know Living the spiritual principles in all my affairs and you know being honest with myself. Um allows me to grow. And you know to have the humility to be able to say, you know, I need help. Um it's okay now. You know, there was a time in my life where I thought I was 10 feet tall and bulletproof. But that was just a lie. Yeah. It's okay who I am. Uh it's okay to not know, you know, and it's okay to make mistakes. Earlier I told you that I was the mistake after my brother was born, and I'm not a mistake. You know, I may make mistakes, but I am not a mistake. I'm here for a purpose. So if you found yourself here, I believe you're in the right place.

SPEAKER_00 49:00

Um last year some sounds like some zažil for uzdrowani, that's a lot of TV.

SPEAKER_01 49:18

So in closing, I'd just like to let you guys know that you know I believe in you. I believe that um you could find a new way of life, you can change your life. It's never too late if you're alive today, if you got a breath in your life. And always remember that you never ever have to use it again just for today.