#41: Mini-training --> How to Use the Wheel of Life

Hey friends….welcome to episode 41: The Wheel of Life Mini-Training.

This 30 minute episode introduces, or perhaps RE-introduces you to one of my favorite life-coaching tools called The Wheel of Life. It’s a tool used often in the coaching industry that most of us coaches learn about in Coaching School.

How can the Wheel of Life help you?

-Helps you live with INTENTION, instead of by default.

-If you are stuck, it can help uncover where you are stuck and why.

-If you need momentum, it helps you determine your next best steps to get moving.

-If you’ve been feeling “meh” and can’t figure out why, this tool helps you narrow down which parts of life you might want to focus on to start feeling better.

-If you are lost, this tool will help point you in the next right direction.

-If you are lonely, this tool can help you figure out why and what you want to do about it.

-If life didn’t turn out like you hoped, this tool can help you course correct.

-And, if you have ADHD, it helps you break down your wants and desires into small steps. It’s helps you identify your next best steps. It helps prioritize. 

-If life is actually pretty dang good, this tool will help you determine how to get to the next level.

Get your free copy at www.angstocke.com/wheeloflife.

The rest of this podcast is me running you through doing The Wheel of Life. 

Together, we go through the 8 sections of the Wheel:

1. Family/Friends
2. Significant Other
3. Fun and Recreation
4. Health
5. Money
6. Faith/Spirituality
7. Environment
8. Career

You'll learn how to do it and hear examples for each section. 
You'll become aware of which parts of life might be asking for some attention,
and you'll be invited to answer some questions to figure out your next best action.

This is a HELPFUL training. Easy. Clear. 
It can even be LIFE-CHANGING.
Everyone should have access to this simple way of assessing life.
Enjoy!

Links mentioned + Ang's links

www.angstocke.com/wheeloflife

hello@angstocke.com / angstocke.com

insta: @angstockecoaching 

fb: @angstockecoaching  

Host of  The Brilliant Creative Podcast

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Ang Stocke Coaching Links
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Transcript

0:00

Hey friends, welcome to episode 41. This is a 35 minute or so episode that introduces or perhaps reintroduces you to one of my favorite life coaching tools called the Wheel of Life. It's a tool used often in the coaching industry that most of us learn about in coaching school. I believe it's a foundational tool to a really good and happy life. I believe this tool should maybe even be taught in high school, right around like 10th or 11th grade, with maybe a refresher in 12th grade. You may know I used to be a high school teacher for a short time, and I have my own set of high schoolers at home. I believe this particular tool, which is free and easy to use, is more important to learn about than some of the current topics taught in our high school classrooms. This is a foundational tool for assessing how life is now and how you want life to be in the future. It helps people live with intention instead of by default. If you are stuck, it can help you uncover where you are stuck and why. If you need momentum, it helps you determine your next best steps to get there. If you've been feeling meh and can't figure out why, this tool helps you narrow down which parts of life you might want to focus on to start feeling better. If you're lost, this tool will help you get pointed in the next right direction. If you are lonely, this tool can help you figure out why and what you want to do about it. If life in general didn't turn out like you hoped, this tool can help you course correct. And if you have the very popular ADHD, it helps you break down your wants and desires into small steps. It helps you identify your next best steps. It helps you prioritize. And if for you life is actually pretty dang good, this tool can still help you. It helps you determine how to get to the next level. Now, you might be wondering, Ange, I thought you just kind of helped business people. I thought you were a business coach. Why are you talking about life coaching? Well, I do both. And lots of business coaching is actually life coaching applied to business. And lately, I feel called to get the basics out there. Everybody should have access to this tool. I believe we should be exposing our young people to it, like I said, so they can have it for a lifetime. So adults just consider it a little tool in their arsenal of living life. especially during the current mental health crisis. I wish all of you had been introduced to this way of thinking about life so you could have been using this tool for the past many years. So if you have a willing young person at home, consider exposing them to this tool and see what conversations transpire. Okay. You guys want to get the tool? You can find it at Anastaci.com forward slash wheel of life. And there it's all lowercase wheel of life. It's a three page workbook with a cover. So four pages, I'd call it like a little mini workbook. And I'd maybe call this podcast kind of a mini training. So again, and stocky.com forward slash wheel of life, you put your email address in and you'll be able to view and print the wheel right away. The rest of this podcast is me running you through doing the wheel of life. You guys ready? Did you get your copy? All right, the first page is actually the cover because I like a really nice document and really nice documents have covers. So the work actually starts on page two, and it has an image of a wheel. More like a circle cut into eight equal pie pieces. Each of the pie pieces represent one of eight different parts of life. Let's get clear for you about what's happening for you by going through the Wheel of Life together. You'll see that the first page is a title page, second page has the wheel. Okay, so look at 12 o'clock where it says family and friends. You'll see the pie pieces going clockwise are family and friends, the next one is significant other, the next one fun and recreation, the next one health, the next one money, then faith and spirituality, then environment, then career. The center of this wheel is zero. The outside of this wheel is the number 10. You're gonna rate each section of life and your satisfaction with it from zero to 10. Zero is not satisfied at all. 10 is the most satisfied you imagine you could be. If you rate something out of five, you put a line in the middle of the piece by. Okay, so let's start, family and friends. Okay gang, let's do it. Let's just like dive in. Think about your family and friends, your relationships. If you like, you could split that pie piece down the middle as family relationships and friend relationships can be so very different. Starting with family, think to yourself, how are things going? Do you love being with your family? Are your family relationships how you want them to be? Maybe they're great. Maybe they're really difficult. Overall, how do you feel about your family situation? Next, think about your friends. How is your friend cup? Is it nice and full? You know, over these past years, I've come to realize that for me, I like all kinds of different friendships. I have some friendships that are really deep and soulful. Like we were meant to be friends. I also have friends that are old friends, but not as soulful. I have friends that are like cousins, but we're not actually related, but there's just an old solid comfort there. Now there are really all kinds of friends. What kinds of friends do you want or do you need so that your friendship cup can be full or even overflowing? How would you characterize your current friendship situation on the scale from 1 to 10? I can remember doing the Wheel of Life at times in my life when my closest friends had moved away and I was missing having good, close, old friends in my own city. At that time, I had some room for new close friends. I didn't realize it at the time that I was missing having these good close friends in my hometown until I did the Wheel of Life and actually thought, huh, I'm kind of missing some connection right now. What is it? Why am I feeling this way? you know, friendships change, people move, all of a sudden your best pal has a baby and maybe there's not a lot of friend time for you, or someone gets a serious job and they just don't have extra social time. At any given time of your life, friendships are changing and moving and rebalancing. Also, there are some of us that really, really like more social connections. And then some of us who we want less. Joe might like a nice small group of close pals. Molly might not get her social needs met unless she has many different friends in many different places with varying levels of depth. What's right for you isn't right for me. What do you want? What do you need? What will fill your cup? Whatever it is, that's awesome. Just consider becoming aware of what is important to you so you can fill up your friendship cup. Okay, going to the second pie piece, going clockwise, it's significant other. How's that part of life going for you? Let's say you're married, and oh, you love your person, but you wish you guys stayed in more. You're a young couple, you're out all the time, and you're exhausted, and you just want to have some more downtime with your love. Maybe you rate your significant other relationship at a 7. In order to rate it at a 9, you would need to make some changes. Maybe you want to be doing some things like reading books together at the cabin. Or you want to be walking together in the quiet woods instead of meeting for drinks at a downtown bar on a weeknight. Or maybe you want to take some road trips alone with your love to the national parks. Or maybe it's the opposite. You want more social time out of the house with your love. There are so many facets of your primary relationship if you have one. Consider in general how it feels and rate accordingly. You'll be able to determine what kinds of changes to focus on later in this exercise. Maybe you don't have a primary relationship and you want one. If that's you, I'd still rate this. How is it not having a primary relationship? Is this working for you right now? It might be. Or perhaps you want one and it's not working for you. Rate whatever is happening, how it feels. And if this is an area of focus for you, you'll be able to address it later in the exercise. All right, next one, fun and recreation. The next piece or a section of life here is fun and recreation. Things like vacations and travel and concerts and laughing and events and joy and doing things that just make you happy and smile. Now, some of you are so busy, lots of your fun comes from working. I know you guys. Or lots of your fun currently comes from raising kids and their activities. There's no doubt that fun can happen at work. Fun can happen during life, raising kids. Fun can happen at the PTA meeting or the football booster club picnic or at the most recent out of town club soccer tournament. Wherever your fun and lightness and laughter comes from is just fine. The overall question is, how is the fun factor going for you? Is your fun cup filled? Could it use some more fun or are you maxed out on fun? I will share, my cup is full on fun. I have had so much fun in the last year. But to be honest, it was actually my intention. I got clear that I maybe wasn't having or planning fun like I wanted to be. And the last year, so much fun. I'm perfectly exhausted from fun, which is great. I'm going to try and get a little better at balancing the fun with some of the life things that are maybe a little bit more challenging. So how about for you? You kind of need to identify what's fun to you. Are other people fun? Is travel fun? Are fancy dinners fun? Is watching your child play soccer goalie and chatting with the soccer parents fun? Honestly, that was a really fun part of life for me. I made amazing memories and long-lasting friendships on the side of a soccer field in the middle of somewhere in Minnesota, and even more in a chilly snowbank on the side of an outdoor hockey rink. or bundled with down jackets in the middle of summer inside a hockey rink. So different stages of life bring you different opportunities for different types of fun. What stage are you currently in and where can you find the fun? Even sitting in your home talking to your teenage boys about the latest thing that's happening in their lives might be like the most fun. Identify where you experience it and be okay with wherever it comes from. The goal is for you to at least know what's happening with your fun cup. I've told this story many times that I originally hired a life coach because everything was going so well for me and I couldn't I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong. It turned out that even though I had started a flower shop and it became successful and I was busy as all get out and living the dream that I had, I rated my fun and recreation on this exact wheel almost at a three. I wasn't laughing that much. I was kind of in a bit of a serious phase. I wasn't running anymore. I was in a bit of a busy making my new business work phase. I didn't have much time for old friends or new friends, and I was tired after working 60 to 70 hours a week. My fun cup, not full. I couldn't even find my fun cup. Work had provided me with satisfaction and achievement and truly great joy, but not necessarily light, laughing fun. After I did the Wheel of Life for the first time, I identified other things that made me happy and started to make room and set intentions to do those things. And as simple as it sounds, I really felt the need to laugh. Just really laugh. I told my husband. And we booked tickets to Seinfeld. And we booked tickets to some other hilarious person. And I called my dear friend Matt, who makes me laugh basically 90% of the time I'm talking to him. Now, this is years ago, but I am now cognizant of my tendency to let fun activities take the back burner. I tended in the past to not value and plan for fun. I believe this is because I've always made a point of loving my work. So work has always been a really good time. It still is. I love my work. I love my work. I wonder if people who don't love their work and they kind of go to work because Maybe they're stuck in it. There's multiple reasons people are going to work that they don't like. And I judge none of them. I mean, coaches take judgment out of everything. So there are some people who are kind of stuck in a cycle of going to work and really just living for the weekend. And because for them, work is not fun. I think this is one group of people that likely prioritizes planning fun on the weekends. I mean, I could probably learn a thing or two from this group of people. For me, work is fun, but I don't only want to have fun at work. I don't want it to be my sole source of fun. I want to go out and connect and be at the beach and I want to walk in the woods and I want to go to country concerts and festivals. I want to travel and see beautiful art and explore the world and I want to make things. So for you, determine what's fun. Remember to have some. Consider prioritizing it if you haven't already. I'm pretty sure life should include some really good fun. Okay, next one, health. How's your health? Some of it's in your control, some of it's not. If you are currently not loving where you're at health wise, there are so many options now for taking good care of yourself. Whether it's physical health, mental health, emotional health, there are so many resources you can access to improve your health. I've tried so many of them that it warrants its own podcast. I'm a bit of a guinea pig when it comes to health. You could ask me, hey Ange, have you tried blank? And I'd probably say, I sure have, let me tell you all about it. How full is your health cup? What would you rate it today? And don't you dare feel bad if it's not where you want it to be. You'll have an opportunity to address it later in the exercise. Okay, next one, money. How's your money cup? Do you have enough? Do you have more than enough? Are you doing what you want with your money? Do you feel like your money is in the right place? Do you feel confident about your money decisions? How about your knowledge about where your money could be or should be? Do you have really good money systems in place to save and invest? You know, sometimes people will tell me they have lots of money, but they're afraid to use it. Some people have lucrative jobs but have a difficult time saving money. It doesn't matter where you are on the spectrum of money, just that you rate yourself for what's happening now. And if money's a place where you want to make changes, you'll be able to identify that in a minute. Next one, faith and spirituality. You might call it faith or spirituality, or perhaps you have another name for this part of life. For many of us, faith as a 30, 40 or 50 year old looks different than it did when we were 10 or 15 or 20. I've noticed the world has changed so much in these last 30 years in the area of faith. For many years, I put this part of the wheel on a shelf, or I put this part of life on a shelf. I was busy with work and kids and family, and my heart and soul were full and happy, and they're fine. These last five years though, it's actually been top of mind for me and I've made some time to really lean into this part of life. I tell you this because I believe there are seasons of life where you feel called to work on one part of life more than another. Perhaps this is front and center for you now and something else is going up on the shelf. In the world of personal growth and development, I most often gently suggest my clients do what feels good and right to them in their current stage of life. It will be different for everyone. And all of that is okay. Environment is next. Oh my gosh, environment. You guys, if you listen to me at all, you know how obsessed I am with your environment. I could really get going in environment because I believe it so greatly impacts our quality of life and it impacts our behavior. It impacts our success or non-success. I'm curious, how satisfied are you with your environment? Start with your home, your bedroom. Is it a sanctuary of sleep and safety? Is your closet organized and it's easy to get ready for your various activities, whether it's work or working out or tennis or whatever you do? Or are you digging through mounds of laundry to find the right pair of pants or socks on a regular basis? How about your bathrooms, your kitchen, your kids' rooms, your deck, your entryway, your garden, your front porch, your home office, the living room? Take it all in and consider how satisfied are you with your environment? How is it serving you now? How about maybe your office at work? Is that a source of strength or a source of stress? Consider and rate. The last part of the wheel is career. As a business coach, I know what a wonderful part of our life careers can be. Whether you have your own business or work for a corporation or organization, a great workplace can make or break your life. Consider how your current job is serving you and helping you get your needs met and rated accordingly. If you're having a hard time reading this part, consider how your job makes you feel and rate it this way. After you're done reading, take a deep breath. Maybe walk around a little, get some water. Then come back and take a look at what you've done. What do you notice? What have you become aware of? When my clients bring me their Wheel of Life to show me, I love hearing this part. There are usually some surprises, and then there are some things that maybe aren't surprises. There's one more rating for you guys to do. On the top right, you'll see a bar scale that goes from zero at the bottom to 10 at the top. Here you rate where you feel like you are in your personal development. If this is your first introduction to a personal development tool or topic, you'll probably be at a one. If this is not your first rodeo and you're a bit farther along in your personal development journey, you'll rate it higher. For reference, I've been a coach for seven years now. I started this personal development stuff early on in my flower shop career. One of the first books I actually read that was personal development was in about seventh grade. It was called The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck. I was, I started in sixth grade. I think it's crazy. So right now, I mean, I'm probably like a 9.0 on the personal development scale. That does not mean I'm perfect. It just means I have done so much personal development. I still have work to do. I don't want to leave some room for that. I mean, maybe I should just rate myself at an eight. I mean, who's a 10? I rarely would rate myself a 10 at anything, but I'd say I'm, I mean, I'm like an eight or a nine. I still have work to do. Okay. Anyway, moving on. So you guys, you took your walk, you looked around, you took some deep breaths. You came back and saw your wheel. You were maybe surprised about something. Maybe you weren't. Then you rated your personal development. Now look at your wheel. The next section asks you which two sections of your wheel you want to focus on. Like what's kind of like saying, hello, hello, work on me, work on me. When you look at those two sections, the question we're asking is, how would you like your score to change and by when? So if you said, oh, friendship and relationships, that's like a six. I'd really like it to be better. Maybe you want friendships to be at a nine at this stage in your life. And so the question is, when do you want it to be at a nine? Like what date? In six months? In one year? Like five years? How long are you going to let this take? You decide. It's all about you. The next section of the Wheel of Life asks you to list five things that would need to happen for you to improve your rating, right? Like what do you need to do to get there? For example, if you want friends to go from a six to a nine, you might say things like this. These are examples. You might say, number one, I'd like to work on finding some more really good friends that make me laugh, love shopping, art, and love to travel. You might also say, I'd like my partner and I to have one or two sets of friends that are ready to travel with us to faraway places. Number three, you might say something like, I'd like to have one deep, soulful, caring, nurturing friend just show up out of nowhere, kind of like magic. Now, if you verbalize that out loud, be very careful, because that could happen very quickly for you. Number four, I'd like to connect. Well, this is an example. I'd like to connect with two out of town friends that I've been just so busy to connect with or too busy to connect with and just check in on them. Number five, I'd like a group of friends that love going to country music festivals with me. When clients are filling these out, I sometimes say, Hey, what would feel so nice? What would feel amazing? If anything was possible in terms of friendships, what would you absolutely love? When you're making your list, consider sky's the limit. I mean, this is kind of dreaming, so give it a go. One thing I want to say is occasionally there's maybe a person in your life, a friend, that's been hard to have. Whether your stages are different or Perhaps they're deep into addiction. They have some of their own personal development to do and their current way of showing up in your friendship no longer works for you. In fact, maybe it's routinely disrupted your happiness. Perhaps letting go of a friend is what you might need to go from a six to a nine. And although this is difficult, it is common and it is part of growth. And on a friendly note, at some point, if you let go of a friend, after they do their work, they sometimes come back. I feel like that's important for someone listening today to hear. After they leave you, after your friendship maybe takes a break, they often go and do some work and they come back. It might not be a full letting go. It might just be a see you later. If you're letting go of someone, consider infusing some of this hope to see you later energy into your decision and see what happens. After you've completed that section, you guys, you might be on your way. You're, you likely can see the direction that you want to go in because now you've basically made a list of things to do. If you want to go deeper, the next and final bit of work is you answering some coaching questions that I think are just golden. They are easy, fill-in-the-blank reflection questions about this exercise. Literally golden nuggets of awareness and wisdom. This is truly DIY coaching, do-it-yourself coaching. If you complete these all the way to the end, you'll have truly experienced coaching. If you want all those questions, be sure to get the download. Okay gang, that's it. Congratulations. If you're here at the end and actually did the exercise with download, or maybe used a piece of paper, sketching yourself a circle and putting in your ratings. If you're here at the end, great job. And for those of you who are driving or running, you might've just done it in your head. And if that's you, wow, you likely have a great visual memory and congratulations on just being awesome. Either way, when you're done, enjoy. I hope you will have become aware of some things that you can celebrate now because life is really good for you. And also some things that you want to change. As you leave this episode, I encourage you to imagine yourself, mentally rehearse actually, picture yourself engaging in your next best steps. Whatever physical action needs to occur to start the momentum on your desired changes. Imagine where you are, picture yourself doing the thing, completing it well, and moving on to the next thing. Actually picturing yourself doing it is a mental rehearsal that will make it easier to remember to do it and easier to complete well. That's it gang, way to go. If you haven't had a chance to actually get the mini workbook downloaded, I encourage you to grab it at anstoccy.com forward slash wheel of life, all lowercase. Consider making a copy for your spouse or your best pal or your teenage child and or anyone experiencing life transition. And for those of you who actually have finished and done the wheel, and you think coaching might be right for you now, you can book a discovery session with me so we can find out if indeed coaching would be good for you now. You can do that at anjutaki.com forward slash schedule dash with dash anj, all lowercase. Whether you want life coaching or business coaching, these discovery sessions are helpful in that we get clear on if coaching is right for you now. You make a decision. So you don't have a decision that's just sitting around not being made because, you know, unmade decisions create clutter and nobody needs any more clutter in their head right now. Oof. Okay. Uh, you guys we're done until next time. Live well, have a great week. Bye.