Loading Fallen Soldiers on a Plane - with Special Guest Carla Vice

Sam's friend and guest this week, Carla Vice, is what Sam describes as an ass kicker.   A single mother and Navy veteran of Iraqi Freedom, Carla describes her job as a leading Petty officer loading and unloading planes at Camp Anaconda.  This included the "routine" ritual of loading HRs (human remains) onto the military aircraft.  

Sam and Carla also discuss post traumatic stress syndrome, and sexual harassment that women face in the military, 

Carla Vice seeks no recognition or special attention for her service and like most who have served, only considers it her job and duty to have worn the uniform. 

Transcript

Carla Vice Podcast
Mon, 4/18 11:29AM • 43:24
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
carla, military, kuwait, people, reservist, veterans, cowboys, work, eggheads, navy, years, thought, deployed, home, airplane, grandkids, females, camp, daughter, realize
SPEAKERS
Carla Vice, Intro, Sam Fischer

Intro  00:00
Welcome to cowboys, not Eggheads -  Home of the brave, not home of the fearful. The world needs more cowboys and fewer eggheads. We're everywhere podcasts are found. So tell your fellow cowboys, and let's keep the conversation alive on Facebook and Twitter. And now, cowboys, not eggheads with Sam Fischer.

Sam Fischer  00:32
When I left, I told my mom to party like a rockstar if something happened to me, I told her not to grieve. And I meant it. I kept telling her that this was what I was supposed to do. Carla shared, it hurt me to leave my daughter but I wasn't scared. And I think that's the paragraph that I read in this article about my guest Karla Vice Today that fascinated me and wanted me to bring you on as a guest, Carla Vise. Welcome to cowboys. Not eggheads.

Carla Vice  01:05
Dude. Um, hi. Where did you get that?

Sam Fischer  01:10
I got this out of the OPPD like women, it's article from your employer. Oh, wow. We have to blank out OPPD on this probably. I got this from your employer. It's women in the OPPD strong women in the armed forces.

Carla Vice  01:32
Oh, it's from the Women's Network? Probably. Yeah. Do a presentation and stuff. Yes,

Sam Fischer  01:37
but the key word there my friend Carla advice. Surprise, surprise. I know Carla from the gym like everybody else on here. But the Carla's actually my age. And so she's got I'm old. You're more mature than the rest of these youngsters that I have on, Jim? Well, I guess Betsy is our age. But you guys are babies. Yeah. But Carla is, for lack of a better term an ass kicker. I've always thought that and she displays it every time I see her at the gym, and she's got a huge heart. And she's a grandmother. And she is a veteran. We're featuring some veterans this year. So thank you for your service to our country. And so welcome.

Carla Vice  02:30
Wow. Thank you. I know who gave this article to you now.

Sam Fischer  02:39
No, I think I read it somewhere. I don't think you're gonna give it to him. I did my research. Yeah, yeah. So I mean, I the part of that line that I liked the most Carla was I wasn't scared. And so this this podcast really was developed out of one of the things was that we shouldn't be fearful. And we say the top of the show home of the brave, not of the fearful. So let's back up. This was in reference to serving as a Navy reservist. Correct. For how long were you a navy reservists? 21 years? Correct. 21 years. And this was in regards to being deployed to Afghanistan, no direct tie rack. So you serve time and a place called Camp Anaconda which is now air field in Iraq. But is it 40 miles north of Baghdad?

Carla Vice  03:39
Is that right? Yes, approximately. Okay, that's about right. So

Sam Fischer  03:42
this is where lots of flights went and went in and out. I mean, picture like what O'Hare Airport or Atlanta airport. fights in flights up. And so when were the years that you were stationed at Camp anacondas, if he doesn't 542 1004

03:58
Yeah, actually, I was in Kuwait. Um, and we did. I was in the Navy, but we did flightline stuff. I went to the Air Force. So yeah, we flew into Arif John in Kuwait stayed at Camp Wolverine. Then I went we I went around different camps in Kuwait. And then I ended up in Iraq and camp Anaconda. Yeah. So like, Bilad? invalid.

Sam Fischer  04:25
Bilad? Yes, it's now called Bilad airfield. And it's

Carla Vice  04:29
I didn't even know that.

Sam Fischer  04:30
I looked it up on Wikipedia, assuming that's right. And so your role at this airfield, you were a navy Reve reservist, and your role was in a water supply and maintenance company or

04:45
what I was in supply so storekeeper, it was our rate and I was an LPO so what's LPO LPO is leading Petty Officer Okay, for for the squad are group that went over and just actually, I wanted to go and get out of Kuwait and wanted to go to Iraq because of my senior chief. I ended up going up there anyway. So to work with her the two senior chiefs that were ahead of me and Ron that out there, they ended up pulling me out and putting me on nights because these two Marines were not doing very well with with their first class that was run a night. So they put him on Days and put me on nights. So I guess we can kick them in the butt and make them do a little more work than they were, which kind of surprised me, but

Sam Fischer  05:46
yeah, Marines. Ever patient being the best, but they're just people like the rest of us. Yeah.

Carla Vice  05:51
And so was I. Yeah.

Sam Fischer  05:54
And so one of the things that you did was you unloaded a lot of airplanes. Yes. And so what is it see once 30 fives or what are the what's the 131 30? Those are the big, big planes at the back end of the thing comes? Oh,

06:11
that's C five galaxy? Oh, yes. And so C fives we did a couple of 140 ones that were to use. This has taken me along back 130s are smaller, they would carry passengers or packs they call them. And a majority of them were C 17. So you can we load and unload and, and palletize the equipment or Humvees or cargo big, whatever are in those aircraft. We build up the pallets, which are like 300 pound Air Force pallets. And that was part of what we did in our mission before just kept training in learning how to do that before we actually went anywhere on missions because I'd been on several of them. But yeah, those big sea fives, boy they hold some they could hold a I don't know it

Sam Fischer  07:02
all day long. A few blocks. These things are coming in and out. I mean, I mean, just whatever. Now one of the things you did you also loaded airplanes. With things one of the things that you loaded airplanes is of caskets of of service members. That's That's a profound experience. Carla.

07:25
Yeah, they're they're called hrs and what does HR stand for human remains okay. We had a ceremony when they would come off because in Kuwait we had that was a place that would they would send to Dover Delaware in the states and then they would move them to their family. So Dover was a place in the States at the hrs would go to straight from my rack straight from Kuwait. Actually, they would fly into. So you were in a cold city. You were I was in camp Wolverine at first. Oh, Wolverine, right in the height of in Oh, four in March, march 4 of 2004 is when I left. Okay. And that was the height of death and everything in April, it was

Sam Fischer  08:10
a surge, or worse. Yeah, the surge. And I mean, that just I can't even imagine, though the one in one of the things that happens is my understanding is that there's isn't there a soldier or someone accompanies the hrs all the way to the, to the funeral home in the state side? Is that Is that correct?

08:36
I think they pass it on to different people. I you know, that's one thing. I don't know. Well, I don't know if it's one person, but I do know that they are there. There's a team and they go from probably Kuwait to Dover. And then however they take over and over to the with the family. I don't know if it's one person or not because I was not involved.

Sam Fischer  08:58
Right. So you were on the front end of it. And so there, it could be one casket, it could be 50. Or, okay,

09:06
come in like a paddy wagon thing. And it was like I'm in a ball right now. But

Sam Fischer  09:10
I'm not trying to make No, but it's a story that needs to hold Carla. Yeah. It was tough. So they came pay wagon, but there was a ceremony. It was not it was very, there was a standard ceremony.

09:24
Yes. Just just to give them respect coming off the wagon into the aircraft, and they would go on. Those would go on 130s. And they had done they put flags over them and flame into Dover.

Sam Fischer  09:39
Is that the last thing to do before they go in the airplane? Yeah, is a flag and that's the part that it would be tough on me to think. What and who does the ceremony is it is it a regiment of?

09:53
Well, we were at the Air Force. So there's a chaplain there and just whoever was working on The flight they would say, hey, you know, we're going to be in this. Do you want to stand here? You know, like couple of times we've had like six people right alongside of where they come out because and then you're saluting and pray I'm praying the whole time, but yeah, I'm saluting when the casket comes out, and then yeah, they, they have these stuff to say and, um, and then, you know, whoever's working on the flightline at the time loading or unloading or just working, you know, out there staging stuff. equipment or what have you, they you know, we have a ceremony everything stops. So, um,

Sam Fischer  10:42
so I'm picturing like, a busy like warehouse

10:44
or something. Yeah, we have Conex boxes and scenes. We're working on a busy warehouse like stuffs all over the stage. There's equipment, there's no.

Sam Fischer  10:53
And so a busy warehouse, all these workers then all sudden, the paddywhack or whatever pulls up and everything just

10:59
stopped. Yeah, I mean, we're notified ahead of time, right? Right. But it's silent.

Sam Fischer  11:03
It's dignifies. It's

Carla Vice  11:08
nothing comes or goes either like,

Sam Fischer  11:10
right, everything is stopped here. It's like a big stoplight. Everything just stops. And so how often did that happen in a period of a month, say? Maybe three or four times?

11:24
I mean, it probably? I would say on average, maybe? Yeah, two to three times a week. And sometimes it was at night sometimes day. I mean, I don't know. I worked just days. I work during the day. We work. Yeah, several hours from our camp, and that's where the flightline was. But um, yeah, so it did have I wonder if it was absolutely horrendous. I wonder if you was there until June, I

Sam Fischer  11:56
wonder if you did anything more important. I wonder if you did anything more important in your, in your time in the service?

12:07
That was probably I never thought about that. Um, it got to be a ritual, unfortunately, and just socked. And that was nice, too. Yeah, I was just gonna say, that's exactly what I was gonna say it is something that you get used to, but you still, everybody tears up and you get sick to your stomach. And you think about these kids, you know, usually they're younger, but some of them are older. And these families that are waiting, they have to wait. And two days or three days to see their child and

Sam Fischer  12:48
they gotta fly to Dover husband,

12:48
you know, yeah. Well, no, they don't they sent then then they go from Dover to wherever they're usually they

Sam Fischer  12:57
don't have to be Dover, but right where they were when they arrived. Everybody, right?

13:01
Yeah, yeah, that. Yeah. Other than that, I mean, we provide admission, it's a job. It's like anything else, that is probably the worst part of the job. But to me, I just look at it as a job like you're, like, you know, you work at a police department or you're a cop and everybody you know, like when you say thank you for your service it. It to me, it's not anything that I take, I shouldn't say don't take pride in but you know, I'm like, it's just a job. You know, I tell people thank you because they're doing it out of respect, but I don't feel comfortable with that.

Sam Fischer  13:33
I and I'm not sure this I haven't determined to order my podcast this season yet. But I just interviewed a copywriter here a couple of days ago, Gary Reed -  I don't know if he's gonna go before you or after you for the book. But one of the he's he goes writes for, for veteran or for whoever but one of the his assignments was to do one of his assignments was to write about, or interview veterans, you got folks like one of the Purple Heart or what have you. And he and I asked him, What was the one commonality that they had? And basically, he described what you just said, and that is that, you know, I don't really deserve things for it, or this isn't anything that anybody else wouldn't do. This was my job. This was my duty. And that's that's admirable, and I I understand that perspective, but those on the outside that haven't served, we just have we're very grateful for those that serve. So that's why we that's the very least, you know, I wasn't until I was an adult until I heard someone say that to a veteran. And I thought, Why didn't anybody ever told me that before? Because I would have been thinking veterans a long time ago in that manner. I don't know how else you can think and thanks for serving. It just means thank you for I mean, serving under the flag and protecting this country. So and I'm

14:59
And I, I am since being in the military. I mean, I went in when I was 20. I went to boot camp, but um, you know, since then you learn you realize how important voting is because I didn't really care about voting before. I did you know, which is bad to say to you, but no, I work all of the voting things. I'm very involved in that. But

Sam Fischer  15:19
well, what do you as someone says to you nowadays, it like, what will my vote doesn't count or my vote doesn't matter? I mean, I'll tell you what I say I say the one that you're not entitled to military protection. And I truly believe that,

15:32
dude, I am. I am. So it's like, the don't bitch about if the person that you didn't like don't bitch about that person, if they got put in put in somewhere, because you're asked invoked. And also I'm like, Do you realize that the military gave you that? Right? Like that person? These people back in the day that never got Thank you. I mean, I think the all the thank you stuff maybe started around Desert Storm and 91 ish, I don't know. But I know the Iraqi Freedom stuff that I went through. It got to be huge. And people started giving military discounts and stuff but no, I, yeah, the military, regardless of how was it or not, that's what made me feel how important it was that these people are out there on a mission, people are out there on a mission just to even escort the hajis to clean out the porta potties people were, you don't know, that's what you're going to do when you go there. I mean, I already knew what my job function was, because we had been training for, you know, three years. Yeah. Um, and I'd been to other countries before that. And you just, you know, that everybody has a function and we all had to carry weapons, and, you know, everything. I mean, we you could, it was very difficult to carry that, you know, with you, but when we jump on the airplane, we had to, or the aircraft because, you know, some of the times it was really high, high alert, but um, had to have our Kevlar on, but most of the time, when we unloaded aircraft and did the manifest and whatever, before we had to do. We didn't have that on but they would come in and out. It was like, you gotta get that shit. Right then and let's go because you are getting bombed and murdered all the time.

Sam Fischer  17:17
Yeah, that was the other thing is interesting about this article is that this camp once you got to camp Anaconda, that's the one that I mean, you're 40 miles from Baghdad. And so obviously, logistically, it's a perfect, you know, it's your target. And you're, you're under a lot of mortar fire and I don't I mean, bombshells and at all times a day, right? So what, you know, there's many times where you put your Kevlar on and you had to seek shelter, etc. What, I take us through an experience like that, I don't think, Well, I do I just know that military veterans such as yourself, they don't lay like Fourth of July about as much as dogs do. Because it's just, it's, it's, there's something there. So take us through I mean, describe to assume that, well, most of my listeners have never been through that. So what is that? You know, it first it's going to be extremely alarming. And then you get used to it. And and you adapt. But what is it? I mean? What is it? Tell us about it?

18:21
There's a few different scenarios that I can tell you about. One time, not one time, we have more than one and this was just in Iraq, but I'm in Kuwait, this didn't happen. You had to just watch both being captive, and you couldn't be in military clothing. If you're ever off base, you had to be in civilian clothing, things like that, anytime you worked around the Mediterranean. But when we move when we went to Iraq, we just stayed out on on base. I wasn't in a convoy or anything, we couldn't leave then. But yeah, like one scenario is we're in the airplane. And then we're unloading. You know, we have K loaders that unload we have forklifts, I have all kinds of heavy equipment, operating licenses that I've had throughout the years. And next thing you know, you know, your turn, you're inside, you know, a C five or C 17, which are huge. And then even the pilots, you know, next thing you know, you're looking around and you're like pushing, you're like ready to receive load or whatever. And then the pellets are so huge, they're way taller, new and, and you're trying to push them off into the K loader, a bunch of us are, you know, each one, and they carry a zillion pallets inside of C 17. And next, you know, you're looking around and nobody's there and you're like, What is going on? You're like, oh shit, but you could hear when if you're inside, you could hear something or that, you know, the alarms would sound and then you're like, you could feel it, could you Oh, yeah, some of this stuff. Some of it is some of it is out, you know, on the other side of the camp or in the tents because they would set these at night and they would go off during the day a lot of times and you wouldn't even know where where they're Add Other than the alarm would sound or you heard it, then the alarm would sound and so I, there's been a couple of times where you're in the aircraft and you're like, Where in the hell did everybody go? I'm like, you know, you call everybody by their last name, obviously, but it's just like you're like, Oh, shit. So we're like running and jumping off the back of the plane and just book into whatever is the closest you know. Nothing that'll help save you. But, you know, a has is

Sam Fischer  20:28
our bomb shelters the ground or anything? Are there? I don't know.

20:32
No, not we're. Yeah, by the flightline. No, we would just have to run to like there was no designated place. Yeah, like places because it was all open. That's, that's that's happened a few times when we were on the plane or right in the middle of unloading. And we had a book it back to the has, which is a huge summit place where it protects you, but it's open on the outside, like we were worked out of a double has, and they had tents, like big tents that we worked inside, you know, like, where our office was, I guess you would say we had a computer and stuff because we had to check the manifests. And the Air Force had one side Navy had another and then I mean, there's just so many different places. And this double has, they had equipment inside there was bats and every air is just so much crap, camel spiders, you know, all this stuff. But yeah, we'd run to wherever we could as fast as we could. That's one scenario. The other one is like getting just completely bombed inside. We had one guy that was worked next to us that was in the Air Force that, um, I think I even have part of this on film, because I had my friend send me like, a recorder VHS thing while I was there. And I've never heard it looked at it ever since then. But um, he got his whole, you know, shrapnel in his ear. He lost his hearing. We had a you know, I mean, it was like a big explosion inside while we're we were just, you know, in our offices or whatever. And there was dust and dirt everywhere.

Sam Fischer  22:03
And what's the smell like?

Carla Vice  22:05
Oh, just sulfur. And I really don't even I to be honest, I

Sam Fischer  22:12
bet if you smelled it again, it'd

22:13
be. It's hard to it's hard to I never thought about that. dust, dirt, sulfur. You know, a couple of times, we're sleeping in our tent during the day, and that shit would go off and to people to people. We found out later lost parts of their limbs. We didn't know if they were going to live they were just a few tents down with us. And what happens is, whoever is in your tent once the alarm goes off, we have to put our Kevlar on, get under our bunk, our little cot you know, we had cots and just sit there, you know, and just like sitting ducks and pray that's exactly what we did. And it's like, but honestly, that happens so much within the first week I was it's crazy. You do get numb to it because I'm just like, Alright God, I know that I'm here for a reason. So I just am going to pray and whatever happens happens because that's what you go in the military for you don't know you're gonna get deployed several times or one big time to know if you're gonna lose your life and you're gonna leave your single mommy and leave your little girl at home and but that's what you do.

Sam Fischer  23:25
And you're how old was your girl at this point? She

Carla Vice  23:27
was seven. Yeah.

Sam Fischer  23:32
Unbelievable. Do you agree with the and I? I'm not naive enough to think that there. Everybody there? There are no atheists in the military. But then there's the old term that there are no atheists in foxholes. Do you agree with that? I mean, I know that you're a very spiritual person. Did that experience make you the increase your faith? Or did it? Did you tell us about your faith journey as far as where it was at before? And after?

24:06
Honestly, yeah, I grew up Catholic. So, you know, Jesus was always it. But when I became saved, it was in 2003. So it was right before that. So my faith was very strong. And my daughter was going to St. Peter and Paul at that time, but we moved her after that they they did so much for us. She was I think in third grade during that time, but I had I had started already going to glad tidings and then got baptized and then you know, basically got saved and born again, however, and my faith was just very passionate then and amazingly enough, it was it was weird. The people from my squad or the girls or in people, they all like went to church, but a lot of people's faith really got obviously strong. I mean, I mean And this is kind of funny, but you know, you know, a lot of people say, Oh God, you know, in doing different things, you know, you know and so Okay, so you tell me an atheist is going to be everybody. God so it

Sam Fischer  25:13
was in a car wreck one time and and Heather and I both at the same time said, oh god oh god oh

25:18
god. So I mean, tell me you you know you don't believe in God well obviously you're saying it but that's I make that joke sometimes but um, well it's true. How can you not this place is like how does anything start but you just can't comprehend enough how it got started because we're just not that smart right figured out right

Sam Fischer  25:37
after believe. So I think you've described probably some of the downsides of the military or an iron downsizer. Yeah, that's right word. I mean, the least favorite parts of the military? What is the what was some things that you remember from a positive standpoint from the military?

25:55
Doing I can't say a lot of things. Um, no. You know, the one good thing at that time, I think computers were in. So we got I got to do a lot of emailing. Which was good, because and then we got they had an exchange, even though we'd get somebody who just got killed right before I was going to the base exchange or the BX. So we could do some shopping, they had limited stuff, but I would send things home for my daughter, you know, all the time, every week. Positive stuff was seriously like I loved supporting a mission, the helicopters, unloading loading. I've always loved being physically, you know, like manual labor. That's just who I am. Um, yeah. So it was hard work. I mean, building pallets, you have stuff. I mean, there's just organization and I just love heavy equipment. I love operating very mechanically more inclined, I think. Right. And that part was a blast in the people. You know, you are, you know, everybody the camaraderie, you know, it's like, not quite as great as CrossFit. No, but you're on a

Sam Fischer  27:09
mission. I was a police officer for 13 years. And I thought the camaraderie was better than CrossFit. Yeah. Because you're talking about your life. Yeah, literally, you know, that if you're in trouble, you can call for help. And somebody's gonna come without question. And they are going to, they're going to come as fast as they can. And they're going to, they're going to try and help you preserve your life, or they'll build they'll jump on top of you if they have to. So to me, that was pretty deep.

27:35
Yeah. Well, you know, the Marines are close to that way the Navy not so much we don't get as trained. But during that time, I was working in security, so you know, or nuclear cop or whatever, you know, so we got so much training for that. And combat training a little bit in the military before we got deployed. So that was a couple months early, because we were head we are kind of knowing we're getting sent out but I'm not and not everybody has that they just have basic, basic stuff. And, and there's a hell of a lot of, you know, with women especially there's a lot of issues. Um, so you worry about that. But you know, everybody, everybody, you know that down deep, everybody's got your back.

Sam Fischer  28:24
Yeah, you know, what did in in actual basic training or stuff, what was your experience? Like? Because I read that you are shocked me that you had some discipline problems or something?

28:40
It should shock you. Actually, I was, I was 120% or 500% on my best behavior, but I think in boot camp, you get in trouble for everything. So I did I got in trouble for the dumbest things, but that's what they do. They mess with you. You know, the worst thing is you can be so extremely fit. And I was because I was always an athlete.

Sam Fischer  29:04
But you go see, look at that. Training that it's not the physical guys are the first ones to drop out. It's it's between the ears, it's between

29:11
the ears and boot camp was nothing. I mean, it was physically not that bad. But but you know, the way they screwed with Yeah, and being young, I mean, I wasn't 18 But I was 20. Being young, and until we actually you know, we're hosed up recruits. That's what our company commanders our CCS would call us and, and, you know, they do lie to you, your recruiters lie to you. Let's just I mean, I know people are going to cringe right now. But if anybody's going in, I say every frickin kid needs to be put in boot camp or at least do active duty for a year because you learned so much. It'll make you so much to plan organizations and speed course to growing up it is it is so important as a woman

Sam Fischer  29:59
it and you've been very forthright so far. I mean, this sense of that it's not the same experience is a man going to military. Is that Is that accurate? I mean, what were some of the challenges you felt that you had? I mean, were you harassed, sexually harassed?

30:19
Oh, yeah, of course. I mean, that's just a given. You know, I mean, I can I can give what I get, but, you know, it's not giving like that, you know, and you do get a lot. There's been a really bad experience that I had in Norfolk, Virginia. And that's when we were, we were being put on standby to go to to the Persian Gulf, but we were working there. Yeah, really bad experience with my girlfriend who's now passed away. That I was She was my best Navy buddy in Milwaukee when I was reservist out there. And what's her name? Julie Stuever, Jules gal. Gel.

Sam Fischer  31:00
You remember her when we do Murph? Right?

31:03
Yes, actually, um, and her husband, when we go to Madison, I go visit him and his widow. I mean, this just happened just a few years ago. And so anyway, I had a bad we had a bad experience on the bus at night, just the regular bus going back to the base and was really scary.

Sam Fischer  31:25
Did you? Is it better now you had females? Officer officers ahead of the rank above you? At some times, and sometimes you didn't? Do you feel like having other females in command? would prevent some of that? Or does it even matter?

31:46
No, it didn't matter. We had one female. There, all the other ones are male. And it was I didn't have the greatest experience with her. Um, after a while, but she was she was a, you know, she was a reservist. Also, officer. Um, but I mean, she also was hardcore. And I liked that about her and she had your back. And that was the important thing. And that's how I feel. It's like you have to have, you know, there's a difference between being a supervisor and a leader. And if you're, if you have a leader for an LPO, or somebody, you're going to jump in with your people and help them work. If they need it. You're not going to just tell them what to do. I don't like that. Anyways, I'm more of a worker, and I'm like, let's just get this done. Let's do this. Let's do this. Um, but yeah, the guys, I mean, honestly, it's just easier to be around them. The females, especially when they're, you know, you have a commander that's in your tent, that she shouldn't have been in our tent, you know, a bunch of us in the same tent sleeping, you know, it's just, it just provides. It's just not good. It's just not a good thing. She should have been in ones with officers. So we could just be separate. But that was a hard, hard thing to deal with overseas, and then it worked out. It worked out, you know, you have art we have those trials to deal with those type of people. Yep. In life all the time you do.

Sam Fischer  33:13
Or military or, or average job or or I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's,

33:18
it sucks. It's tough. You know, you just have to learn how to react and

Sam Fischer  33:23
how so tell me again, how long you were. You're deployed. Um, one to

33:31
last? Yeah, the last one. And then I actually decided to retire because my daughter went through hell. Um, during that time, I was we were our our orders said, I think a year and but they said you would only do six months what ended up to be eight or nine or something. But we also had, you know, I was in I also, let's see, it wasn't January, February, I was in a leadership school. In California, then my grandma was taking care of my grandma too. And she had to get a flight at home because she hurt herself and then was dying. And then that's the same night that she actually died is when we told her we were getting deployed. And so after that, I had like a week before we were going to Virginia to go through combat school and some other junk and then so I kind of count that and then we came home and then left like a week or Yeah, a month $600 A Girl Scout cookies to deliver to and didn't make it back to work and it was just a complete effing mess during that time.

Sam Fischer  34:41
Now what did you what what? What did you do? I mean, as a revert, as a reservist. What was your obviously that's not your full time occupation, right? I mean, so you you had a job during that period and then got deployed. What was what was your

34:59
I was working. I was working security at the nuclear plant. Okay, okay, we worked like 6070 hours a night. That's right. That's all my mom would, who worked who had two jobs, she she'd be the one to help me she'd come and spend the night. Or she'd helped me with my grandma or whatever, you know, I'm with my daughter and my two dogs and ended up when I got deployed. You know, we already had my money. So she heard my name was on my account, and the bills and everything organized. Because it was like, the third time I was told I was getting deployed. And so we had already prepped so many times. And at that time, I was just like, I just want to go, because you get so sick of it, and you just want to go, yeah, um, so my grandma passed away. And then we got, like, who's in charge of her stuff. And then we got, we got, we got sent out on March 4, and my mom moved into my house and take care of the kid. And

Sam Fischer  35:54
so what was it like coming home? What was it like seeing your daughter? Where was that? Oh,

36:00
yeah. Oh, my gosh, somebody snapped a picture. I don't know. Oh, man, it

Sam Fischer  36:07
was before the days of FaceTime and all that, you know,

36:09
yeah. I think there's a picture and oh, gosh, it was just that poor kid. But there was people at my house and I, you know, my mom got my best friend's and stuff to be at the house right came home and I didn't want that at all. But it was so grateful. Just because I just want I don't know, I don't want any of this. I just want to come home. And just be with my daughter, you know, and

Sam Fischer  36:35
normal again. Yeah. Want to be able to go to sleep through the night without a frickin bombshell. No,

36:41
I mean, you know, you got them. We ended up going back to Arif campaign of John and Kuwait to get deployed or get removed, and I just want to go home, I didn't even care. They're trying to you know, to get you want to go see the psychiatrist or do any of this shit to me, I was perfectly normal. I was fine. I was good to go. You know? Yeah. And you don't realize till later on, you know that Oh, shit. You know, like you said, the Fourth of July that that stuff bothers me. jumpy. And I'm just now going through getting some disability it's been, or, you know, working with the VA rep right now, the beginning of it, too, you know, for different various stuff. But, um, and I hate PTSD because it's so overused. And I never thought I'd, I don't know, I would let people have it. Even if they're not in the military. I

Sam Fischer  37:26
don't know about that, man. I mean, it's, it's pretty legit stuff. Well, and I mean, maybe 25 years ago, maybe 10 years. It was It wasn't but it's something that we that hopefully people are more cognate cognizant of, and there's more awareness about it. But it's real. I don't expect I mean, I, you know, I don't expect someone that's gone through that kind of experience just to come back. And it's like a light switch. You don't have to, you know, like it like it never happened, or you just continue on? I don't I don't I don't think that's fair. You know, you we spend millions of dollars training soldiers, and then we do very little for them after they get home. And that's ridiculous.

38:12
It used to be Yeah, it's gotten a lot better. That's good. That's what I hear anyway. I mean, to me, it's like, you know, not overdone. I don't think there can be but I'm like a gray area reservists too. So I'm like, you know, it's past your fight, you only have five years after you, you know, get out or get discharged or whatever, from active duty to use the benefits. And you know, at that point, I didn't think I needed anything. And, and everybody's telling me, you know, I'm, I'm, I've been reached out to and all the VA stuff that's available. And I'm like, Oh my gosh, I didn't realize this was all available, and I'm spending my own money for this stuff, you know, medical things. And, you know, I have feet problems, I have insomnia severely bad. A lot of that's because I'm a freaking hot mess. And I'm tore up from the floor up, but but that's also, you know, I'm finding out more things. So I probably, you know, I've had a lot of therapy, but I really probably need some specifically for certain things like that and tinnitus and I didn't even realize what that was. And I just know, I have stuff in my ears and my hearing isn't as good and you know, you know, and I just blew it off because it's like, that's just part of the gig. You know, I don't know, you know, who am I to get money for whatever it nice, and I may not,

Sam Fischer  39:33
and you wouldn't let me thank you for your service. Give me a break. I mean, people you go through a lot. You go through a lot. Yeah,

39:39
but we all do. We all do. But I know where you're

Sam Fischer  39:44
coming from going back to opening paragraph for this pod and that is but you said you said you're duty driven. You're just very duty driven. And if something happened to you, you know, party that

39:55
I so what an attitude. Celebrate your life, man. Yeah, because what a life I've done so much with my life. are you grateful? I am grateful every day. Yeah. I make it intentional. It's an intentional gratitude. I don't know,

Sam Fischer  40:12
I've never always in the last couple of years I've been I just more and more grateful. I don't I just it's weird, but it's part of the aging process. I

40:21
was just working with Nyssa you know, her having me do that with nutrition and, you know, making sure I write it down, and I still do. And he literally, you know, I wake up, even if you don't want to go to work or whatever, and you realize, you know, my grandkids just, god, they're so wonderful. And yeah, you know, I, you know, who knew? You know, you know, who knew that it would be this wonderful and you just don't want to work anymore. But you want to do other things and just play with your kid but your grandkids and teach them sports and how to ride motorcycles, because that's what I used to do race and ride motorcycles and go fit and fishing, hunting. I mean, it's legit, like, that's what I want to teach them. Right? And I just, you know, here I am. 57. And I'm like, gosh, I could retire but I can't afford it. But you know, I want to just play with the grandkids. Yeah. So it worked out because that's just you know, let's do some obstacle courses and have fun.

Sam Fischer  41:22
Yep. Okay, well, I thanks for your time today. First of all, because you are a busy person, and I'm taking away from your grandkids and everything else. But I've got five quick rapid when I'm doing this with all guests here in this first batch. And so this is a fun thing. So as it just this might be scary because Carla does say the first thing that comes to her Hey, yeah, this is five sets of five. It's like a four or five quick, quick fire round questions. So the first thing that answer comes your head you just say it. Are you ready?

41:55
I'll try not to be inappropriate. All right. No, you won't be favorite ice cream. I'm dark chocolate almond.

Sam Fischer  42:03
Favorite cowboy.

42:06
Oh, was he a cowboy though? Wayne Burt Reynolds. I don't know Burt Reynolds Gunsmoke or something? Wasn't

Sam Fischer  42:13
he? Oh, my Dylan. Yeah. Matt Dillon. Okay, good one. I don't know. Favorite egghead.

Carla Vice  42:21
Sam Fisher. Kick

Sam Fischer  42:26
is your third guest who said that. Hey, I

Carla Vice  42:30
know you're supposed to be a cowboy. So

Sam Fischer  42:33
our mind favorite law would be the smart Sam Fisher apparently. Well, thank you. I'm very smart. Yes, you are. Favorite movie?

Carla Vice  42:48
I haven't. It's one of them. Smoking the bandit. Seen it? 20.

Sam Fischer  42:59
All right. Last but not least your favorite dog ever had.

43:03
Oh my gosh. Duchess. Duchess very young. I paper out she walked with me every day. Are you three years?

Sam Fischer  43:13
Yep. All right. Well get a dog and serve. Thanks, Carla.