Questions You Always Wanted to Ask a Rabbi - with Special Guest Rabbi Brian Zachary Mayer

Sam has a conversation with Rabbi Brian Mayer from Portland, Oregon.  Rabbi Brian is the Founder of Religion Outside the Box.  (www.rotb.org)    Rabbi Brian reframes religion to be approachable. And, fun. 

In this episode Sam and Rabbi Brian discuss fear, anxiety, truth, the afterlife, and Rabbi's view of Kosher and the Holy Land.   A fascinating discussion of the movie "Oh God" is a don't miss segment. 

Don't miss our most brutally candid episode yet.  Rabbi Brian is hereby declared an astronaut by Sam (a perfect mix of cowboy and egghead.)  

Transcript

Rabbi Brian Mayer Podcast
Wed, 5/11 4:51PM • 30:16
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
question, rabbi, egghead, people, world, fear, jews, truth, cowboys, faith, answer, brave, true, judaism, religion, favorite, sam, afterlife, work, phrase
SPEAKERS
Intro, Sam Fischer, Rabbi Brian Mayer

Intro  00:00
Welcome to cowboys, not Eggheads, Home of the brave, not home of the fearful. The world needs more cowboys and fewer eggheads. We're everywhere podcasts are found. So tell your fellow cowboys, and let's keep the conversation alive on Facebook and Twitter. And now, cowboys, not Eggheads with Sam Fischer.

Sam Fischer  00:32
Today, I'm pleased to welcome Rabbi Brian Zachary Mayer to cowboys, not eggheads. We're very pleased to have you here. How are you today? Rabbi,

Rabbi Brian Mayer  00:42
I'm today is a good day, my friend. Thanks, Sam.

Sam Fischer  00:46
I want to give kind of a short introduction of you. Rabbi, Brian is the chief religious officer at an organization called religion outside the box. It's a non denominational organization that allows the worship of God of the of the participants understanding is that right? Well,

Rabbi Brian Mayer  01:11
either you whatever they want to do, we don't discriminate based on dogma or doctrine.

Sam Fischer  01:17
Right? In other words, you've got Christians, you've got Jews, you got Mormons, you've got you've got you've got, you've got lawyers,

01:24
I've atheists, I've Canadian, cowboys, I got everybody,

Sam Fischer  01:29
maybe an egghead or to two. So

Rabbi Brian Mayer  01:32
I'm we’re against eggheads? Isn't that our plan?

Sam Fischer  01:34
No, no, actually, we're not. We're not okay. Not at all. I think we need both for the world to go around. All right. One of the things that you had talked about on your website about your organization, you have 1000s of members around the world, but none have all the answers. And that is probably what drew me to you, Rabbi, and so how does how does Mr. Cowboy from Western Nebraska meet Rabbi Brian Mayer from Portland, Oregon, how does that work? And the story is We briefly met at a Texas wedding of a mutual friend. And it was a it was a it was a Christian slash Jewish wedding. And I was absolutely struck at how seamless The ceremony was. And it was, it was smooth, that was natural. There was no uncomfortableness about any of it. It was, it was an uplifting experience. And shortly after the ceremony, I saw the rabbi and I said, I said something to the effect. It was probably kind of a flippant remark, but I said, Thank you. It was awesome. You know, I I'm almost ready to convert. And you said, which is also stuck with me was a convert to what? Like, what do you, you know, what are you talking about? And then you said something, also to the effect of, we're all under the umbrella of God. And I just, I liked that because I happen to agree with that. Good. So that's why you and I are talking today. And I'm so pleased that you were able to give me some of your time. Just really looking forward to a great conversation. Second,

03:17
Sam, and you said it was a Christian and Jewish wedding and that was not that was not true. It was Sydney and Brady wedding.

Sam Fischer  03:26
There you go. One of the things that happened at Sydney and Brady's wedding, I loved it at some point, you said, Look, you asked them to look at the folks that were in the crowd. And you ask them twice, because like, Hey, I'm serious, you know, take a minute and just be present. And look at the folks and it was awesome. It was awesome. So I really really enjoyed their wedding. And I really looking forward to getting to know you a little bit better in our time today. And so I've put together some questions and you've you haven't vetoed any of them yet doing. So let's let's let's do this. Tell me about your faith journey. How does one become a rabbi?

Rabbi Brian Mayer  04:10
Those are two different questions. I'm going to answer.

Sam Fischer  04:12
They are you can put up okay.

04:15
rabbinical school for most is a five year postgraduate gauntlet. So I went in with a BA and I wound up with a Masters of Hebrew letters and an ordination. So it's a lot of work. It's a big commitment. Yeah. Yeah. And they, my my faith journey was i It's a weird phrase. It doesn't translate exactly. is a faith journey. It's not like I came to have a faith that I didn't previously. I came to have more questions and I started with think

Sam Fischer  04:59
Sure. I think that's very, very

05:01
less but, but more comfort with the less certainty.

Sam Fischer  05:06
You write you. So you you always had faith. But you said that was that that I did? Oh, I thought you just said that. It's not like you didn't have it before. It's

05:16
it's maybe it didn't know I was trying to imply that I didn't have it either place is a it's a weird phrase that you have faith in the Christian community. That means that you, it means a certain thing in a Jewish world, you don't have that. There's no doctrines where I come from, you can go through rabbinical school. And, and never, you never have to state that you believe in God at all. It's just a it's a different, it's a different beast.

Sam Fischer  05:46
It's a different language, it's a different,

05:49
I'd say it this way. It's kind of like when you're if you're working for a large company, and like some people are working for this manager, and there's that manager style. Then there's Judaism, which is just a different management style.

Sam Fischer  06:02
Fair enough. Why has religion become so tribal,

06:09
religion becomes tribal, when people think that the way to get inclusion is by excluding? There's a phrase that said, the easiest way to make a group is to have a resentment and a coffee pot. My religion is not based on me not being Christian. My religious faith is mine or for a Christian, their religious faith is some sometimes it's based on we are the people who say this, which means we're not the people who say that and I, there's someone much wiser than I, I just looked up the quote, I can't remember who said it right now. But he said, I would rather be excluded for who I include, then included for who I exclude.

Sam Fischer  06:55
Fair enough. I understand that.

06:58
So people, people make groups to make to make themselves feel larger. It's ironic is if you join a group to make yourself feel like you're part of a larger group, if that group is doing that, in opposition of something else, you're actually excluding a majority of the world.

Sam Fischer  07:20
There's no doubt about it. There's no doubt about that. Now, here's a word that I did not know what it meant until my producer Chad, who has a company called synchronet Ik productions. Are you a synchronous?

07:36
I don't know. Synchronous, like things happen as,

Sam Fischer  07:40
as as in your as, as in do you my understanding of what a synchronous is, is someone who basically brings people together. Regardless,

07:53
well, okay, I'll, I'll do that. Okay, I'm a humanist move at my core, I'm a Universalist.

Sam Fischer  08:02
What is what is humanists mean to you? I'm,

08:05
I'm, I'm a member of the group human. You know, that's my group. That's, I am Jewish, among other things. You know, I'm a rabbi, among other things. I'm not excluding I'm part of the human community.

Sam Fischer  08:24
To Human first. Yeah, I like I like that. I like that. We, obviously it's a crazy time in the world. Lots of things going on. Got COVID. And I, I, I feel like we're coming out of that. But we have worldwide matters that are very concerning to me. At least, with Ukraine. Yeah. And there's in fear leads to anxiety. What can we do to alleviate the fear that is created by some of these world events?

09:09
I would I'd say it's, no, I would, I would say Sam, you're on though you're going down. Don't try not to like be scared. Like our net natural inclination if you're going out on an icy road is to be fearful. And that protects us. I think especially in we don't know COVID is dead yet. It's alright to be a little bit fearful. I mean, don't run it into anxiety, but it's alright to still be a little bit fearful and here's somebody with a hacking cough is stay away from them. And then as far as the world situation, how do you find peace when the when when world governments are trembling? I think it's alright to not feel you Another phrase, the second arrow, I think is a Buddhist phrase. I've just been coming to it recently. It was like if you get hit once with an arrow, there's no point in taking out your quiver and shooting yourself with a second arrow. Like the world's already scary enough. I don't need to indulge the fear. But neither should I run away and pretend like it's not scary. It's really scary right now.

Sam Fischer  10:23
Yeah. I think fear. Well, the way I look at it is I don't let fear dictate who I am. I don't let fear. Control me to the point where I'm not willing to go down that icy road because I might have to go down that road. Yes, sir. And it's icy. So I respect that it's icy. But I don't let fear paralyze me.

Rabbi Brian Mayer  10:51
Absolutely. Absolutely.

Sam Fischer  10:53
And so I guess that's the way I look at it. But I am fear does cause me to be anxious. Yeah. You know, and maybe that maybe that's the purpose of fear is, is to get your Antanas alert us is it? Does. Is there is that is there. What is the purpose of fear?

11:19
keep us safe. Man. It's a natural emotion. All all creatures don't know about reptiles. So well, but mammals all feel fear. It's just normal. It's natural. Right? At certain times in the world, it's right to feel fearful. And right now it's, yeah, I think we should fear fear. We should have some fear.

Sam Fischer  11:45
Have some fear? Have your antennas up? Be aware you say a lot be present. Don't Don't ignore it. And I don't know if you're just saying embrace it. But it's part of what we're going through right now. And so it's a reality. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. So how do you how do you deal with anxiety?

12:12
I try not to I try not to I try not to do anything that will make me more anxious. I try not to

Sam Fischer  12:24
good answer, you know.

12:27
There's a phrase, Martin Luther, famous guy, he said, that the birds of worry and fear will always circle your head over this, you have no control. The birds of worry, and fear will always circle your head. But whether they build a nest in your hair that you can prevent.

Sam Fischer  12:46
That's right. It's how you react.

12:49
What do you like, I'm going to be scared. That's fine. But I don't need to say, Hey, I got I got some lodging room right up here.

Sam Fischer  12:57
Right. Being brave, is there is there ever a time? Because I think cowboys are generally brave people. And I think there are many kids that are brave, frankly, too. It doesn't it's not segregated one way or the other. But is there. Talk about being brave. What do you when you say that cost?

13:19
Well, the part where I think cowboys get a bad rap is that sometimes being brave means being vulnerable. And being brave enough to say, Hey, I'm scared shit. Excuse my I was going to use a bad potty word there. That'd be

Sam Fischer  13:35
That's all right. You can we trust me. We've had many potty words on this podcast. It's

13:41
like I'm scared. I just gotta call a mask up and they found a three centimeter polyp. Like that takes bravery to admit to people. They sure got the results. It wasn't cancerous and I'm just my knowing to tell people about it. That's brave, being honest with where we are when we're there. That's brave.

Sam Fischer  14:07
Yeah, absolutely. It is. Alright, so we're gonna get into it. Truth. Okay. And the reason for that is, is that I once went to a philosophic, a philosophy class in college. And the topic of the day is what is the meaning of truth? Hmm. And it's something that I've used over the years, kind of even my little nieces and nephews, I'll say, What's the meaning of truth? You know, ask a five year old what the meaning of a truth is, you know, ask a 20 year old ask a 30 year old ask ask a rabbi. So today we're going to ask the rabbi, what's the meaning of truth?

14:46
I'm going to answer with a Robert Brault. Quote, which is going to be a very rabbinic thing where I'm going to answer and not answer at the same time. Robert Brault said the following, he said yesterday, I bent the truth to be kind and I have no regrets for I am far more certain as to what is kind than I am what is true. Yesterday I bent the truth to be kind I have no regrets for I'm far more certain of what is kind than what is true. True. True is variable. Right? Like what I see is true. And what you see is true might be very different truth math.

Sam Fischer  15:25
Yes, you can shop for the truth on the internet. Yeah.

15:29
Math is, yeah, math is convenient. I taught high school math for seven years after drop in math is very convenient. Like I can do truth that way. But I think it's the same, like in an equation, there's more than one way to solve it. There's more than one way to get to truth. I'm gonna stick with that. And then I'm gonna go ask some five year olds, I get a better answer.

Sam Fischer  15:51
Oh, that's great. It's great. Well, I mean, I've I asked my crossfit coach, what's the meaning of the truth? He said the state of being true.

Rabbi Brian Mayer  15:58
I was okay with done that one.

Sam Fischer  16:00
Okay. My goodness, okay, so the next couple of questions actually come from a movie called Oh, God, have you ever seen Oh, God with George Burns? Of course. I think it's a terrific John Denver, John, John Denver, George Burns and I just I was always liked the movie and I was I brought it up last night. And so they locked him one of the the end things is they a coalition of religious leaders locked John Denver locked it locked him in a hotel room with these very difficult questions. So gosh, I thought I'd just pull a fast one and ask some of these questions. But it's it's just it'll be fun discussion. I didn't did man fall from grace in the Garden of Eden at all

16:51
that is complete bullshit. I must say this one as complete bull bullshit that has been blaming women for something women never did, which then became true because we proclaimed it so much as just some some high class bullshit. It was no foul never was a fall. St. Augustine actually is the one who came up with the idea in about the year 300. And he, I like Augustine, he said, some really wise things. This was not one of them. The idea that we fell from grace, if the text had meant that it would have said that it does not say that. And it has really done a lot of disservice to give people the idea that there is anything less than perfect about just being

Sam Fischer  17:38
love. This is why I like you, you just take it on. I love that. I love that I could I could personally couldn't agree more. This so this was actually one of the questions which one of the world's religions is closest to the divine truth. There we go with that word true.

17:57
Yeah. So I had a neighbor who's a Jesuit priest, and he said to me talking about who's react whose truth whose path is the more correct one is like he and I arguing here in Portland, Oregon, who lives closer to New York

Sam Fischer  18:16
than making sense just

18:17
this like what color what what color is five is there's no what's what smell is like, there's it's just so stupid of a question. There's no closer truth. It's true. This is. Right. And all those truths together, make up truth, but there's no truth.

Sam Fischer  18:37
Okay, I've heard various interpretations of the Jewish beliefs of afterlife. Yeah. What is your view of afterlife? Or can you help me with? With that?

18:48
Yeah, so y'all non Jews, it's your favorite question to ask Jews is about the afterlife. And I've, I've done a lot of thinking as to why it is that this is the most frequently asked question I get is about the afterlife. And so I answer it may ask this question itself.

Sam Fischer  19:09
Why did I ask? Yeah,

Rabbi Brian Mayer  19:11
I think why rabbis?

Sam Fischer  19:12
Probably because, you know, I'm a Christian. And probably because it's such a central tenet to our faith that there is an afterlife that, that we do go to this place called heaven. Yeah. And we do believe in a, in a judgement day. We're having an earth we'll be judged. And so I'm not trying to. I'm not trying to create division or any of that. That was not my intent of the question. It was more of, let's have a discussion about this. What how do you see it?

19:48
Yeah, so again, I'm gonna I think one of the reasons that I get asked this question is because of deep insecurity that a lot of Christians have with to what their tenants are with. And I don't know if that's for you, Sam. But

Sam Fischer  20:06
well, that's brutal. That's brutal candor, I love brutal candor. I talked that way. So that's fine. Yeah.

20:13
Judaism is, again, different management style. We we have believed various things throughout time. And we continue to not we don't have one answer to that question about life after death, we look and we see, I can show you throughout our tradition that we've believed this, we believe that we believed the other. And, and Judaism doesn't require that you have to meet any one of those three, or five, or however many different answers we've had. We're very up in the air, I had a professor who said he's doing it one life at a time. So. And I will also say that I want to just reiterate, Judaism is non doctrinal. There's no declaration of faith one has to, to maintain,

Sam Fischer  21:08
right? You don't recite the Apostles Creed, like, like Christians do or that it's you don't Nicene Creed, or any of those. No,

21:17
no, there's no, not none of that. We don't that's not part of the game. Right? Right. I did ask him. When I was working at the congregation, I said by show of hands before I say any remarks? How many of you here believe in life after death? And let's say a third raise their hand and I asked, How many of you don't? Third, how many of you didn't vote a third? And this is why when y'all ask me, what do we believe about something y'all are? Why I cannot answer that question. Is because we believe we just we don't have we don't have firm answers. Not like that.

Sam Fischer  21:55
Right. Right. Right. Well, thank you for being candid me that. I appreciate it. I've just never you know, which is I'm just curious. Will so same thing with is there going to be a judgment judgment for day for man don't know, you don't? I mean, you don't or you you don't have an answer for that. It's not something that

22:17
we have it in our tradition, but that it's mandatory, but not required. Like it's like it's in there, but we don't have to I don't know. Find out. I personally, my own beliefs. Nat. I think you're dead. You're dead. Game over. Gotcha. We'll see how long that I'm not sure for how long. But I'm pretty sure. I'll be like this conscious form. We'll move on.

Sam Fischer  22:49
Right. Right. Right. And actually, my Jewish friends submitted this question. So this I thought it was interesting that that he did he said, what do you what? Why did you What did you have against pork?

23:08
Nothing. I like I like bacon. Tasty.

Sam Fischer  23:14
Okay, so why are some Jews kosher? And some? Ah,

Intro  23:18
that's that.

Sam Fischer  23:20
Maybe that maybe that's the question he's asked.

23:22
Again, it's Judaism you get to choose what it is that you do. You don't it same way that in in France, they eat horse meat. It's like totally acceptable in France to have horse meat. And in India, nobody eats a cow. Like it's just not a thing. Jews are just shellfish and pork have been not on the menu for a lot of Jews for a lot of time. And people will say, Well, it's because in the ancient world, they didn't know how to refrigerate the food and you'd get chicken Gnosis and that's just not true. Because chicken chicken can get you deathly ill if that's not cooked, right, it's just, you know, it's that line from Fiddler on the Roof. Why tradition is just what we do.

Sam Fischer  24:04
Again, very straightforward, very candid. I appreciate that.

24:07
And I'll tell you, I didn't know how to cook bacon, until I got to be an adult because I never like it was not a thing we had. I had to find that out myself later on.

Sam Fischer  24:17
Well, it's delicious. Yeah. Boy, does it smell good in the morning? Okay, so the Holy Land is very sacred to Christians. Okay. I'm assuming that is sacred to Jews also, how do you view you know, Israel,

24:34
I think it's a cool idea. Who was better on paper? I like the fact that it exists, but land itself. How is land any more holy than any other piece of land? That doesn't make any sense to me? I mean, to this day, Jews will pay an exorbitant sum to be buried on the Mount of Olives because the thought is in here this As for Jews who believe in a life after death, that God will, the Messianic age will come and they'll start reviving the dead. And they'll that will start at the Mount of Olives. I'm thinking like so you're going to if you get buried in Detroit, you're going to have to wait a little bit longer. Like the dead anyway, what do you what are you waiting for? I mean, you got an infinite time. So I don't think there's Holy Holy Land, holy land. I mean, for God's sake, it's land.

Sam Fischer  25:36
Fascinating answer. I, I really appreciate your candor today, because I like people who are straight talkers. I think you're a bit of a cowboy of around.

Rabbi Brian Mayer  25:46
I'll take and I got a little bit of egghead.

Sam Fischer  25:49
Oh, you do? You do? I've read some more material. So we actually call rabbis just so you know, we call them the perfect mix of cowboy and egghead. We call them astronaut. All right. So you know, you're here. We'll call you the astronaut Robin orbit, man. I love it. One of the things I've done this year, at the end of the podcast is just have five quick little rapid fire questions. And you're more than qualified to answer questions rapidly so you could return it in our time together, and it's just a silly funny little thing, but we'll do it. Hey, so are you ready, sir? favorite ice cream?

Rabbi Brian Mayer  26:31
Monster cookie dough.

Sam Fischer  26:34
Oh, you and I share a principle together. That's awesome. I that's my favorite ice cream. Favorite cowboy.

Rabbi Brian Mayer  26:41
John Wayne. Am I allowed to say that?

Sam Fischer  26:44
You bet because that's what everybody's answering this season. Okay. Favorite egghead?

26:50
Neil deGrasse Tyson the I don't know that astrophysicist.

Sam Fischer  26:58
Oh, okay. I think I'm gonna use the naked Yeah. Okay, okay. Favorite movie?

27:07
Oh, that's it. Oh my god. The name of it Big Lebowski.

Sam Fischer  27:12
Okay, I just saw that couple one of the first really for the first time yet Sam

Rabbi Brian Mayer  27:18
I can I can do the whole movies.

Sam Fischer  27:24
And then last but not least, my copywriter friend actually submitted a sometimes he'll come up with he'll be on later this year. But he'll come up with great questions. And so his question of the day is if you're Ukrainian refugee, and you've got 10 minutes to get out, what are you packing? You get the pack five things. What are they?

Rabbi Brian Mayer  27:48
Taking my passport? Taken all my charge cards probably take my laptop I hate that

Sam Fischer  28:06
question. It's tough, isn't it?

28:13
Probably a jacket. Some more clothes. I picked some. Maybe some change your undies?

Sam Fischer  28:20
Yeah. That's I mean, it's pretty much stripped down. I mean, you know, food, clothing shelter. So um, you gotta have something to eat those three things? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fascinating. Well, thank you very much for your time to eek work. Can my listeners get a hold of you or find more about Yeah,

28:40
so if you go to our OTB standing for religion, outside the box, our otb.org You'll see all of the glory of religion outside the box and there's a newsletter that's free, and it's worth it. I send out 40 Out of 52 weeks a year a little spiritual wisdom biscuit in your inbox on Monday mornings. And from that you can you can learn more about there's a forum that you can learn about. There's a Saturday service that I run every Saturday, it's always open to the public, but you got to start start with the newsletter.

Sam Fischer  29:15
Gotcha. I've see you're on Facebook Live quite a bit. You're on this afternoon you tell people to do a 20 minute meditation. Well, it's not very many people can sit there for 20 minutes and meditate and that's that's sad. But it's it's a pretty good exercise.

29:32
I figure I'm gonna meditate anyway, I'm going to broadcast it onto Facebook.

Sam Fischer  29:36
Come on down and water is just fine.

29:39
And you know, I tell you, Sam, if you ever want to throw off the Facebook algorithms from tracking you, if you just if you just submit 20 minutes of you doing nothing a day, algorithms explode. There is no content whatsoever for me. So they can also fly me on facebook look up Rabbi Brian and you'll get to see the gorgeous face that goes along with this voice

Sam Fischer  30:05
awesome thanks so much for your time thanks Sam